Tin: vaa:-. omaha, sati kdav, jant.xky 2. v.m.
p)ajfe hi
The
azi ne
3 UTILE FOM HE WEEK OTS
.The Dee's Junior nirllulay DooK
Her Husband's Voice A Diiuisition n the seifiihne of
ee'g
aw- " .. ... .... -.. m
his is the Da
hy amkrk mam. woman Lommuter.
V - "0 - A
On a certain tearful winter morning.
hen rein splashed In the npen gutters of I
Mnuntalnyllle, and every worn flagstone
held; a lmmin pool for Sarrows. the
Amateur Wire derided she must go to
to order aome new cards.
, "S you'll wait for the 10 o'clock train
PZSATI,r",r, I'" "' In with you,'- she ob
graciously to the, Pont Graduate
'ht." he agreed imlaWy, for h
vara that the train she mentioned
Ln aa the "Hen'ten." and waa
fLAN3 FOjhe female shoppers on their way
(counters.. .
Bepreientaf
ierefore with a certain emhar-
Y ' klu '''M-r.iniLiimpniTn mil me
flr-!liau Husband found himself the
e' male In a bevy it auburban beauties
"J-t,rUte to . Friday sale.
; At ever atatlon and station happen
very flvecKy blocka more women Rot
on. It aeemed to him that hla wife knew
everyone of them and, worat yet, that ahe
Went out lit her way to make him know
them.
Before they got to Hoboken he had ad dud
flffy women 1o the already ewailcn list of
persons whoae facea he would have to re-'
member and to whom he must forever
aftef lift hla hat.
But he dM not jnake the mistake of
confiding to the Amateur Wife that thin
meetrnir ' w Hh her local women acquaint
ances, filled. him with unmitigated dismay.
'In the flrat place ahe would not have be
lieved ft. and aecondly, he waa not then
atire of It himself. What chiefly concerned
tiro waa that every window of the car waa
cloaed because of the rain outalde, that the
Steam heat waa working overtime and
puffins; poisonous vapor-, throughout the
already stifling train wherein all the per-
(fumPB of Araby, aa well aa thoae of Paris
and -Cologne, warred for supremacy.
; The Amateur Wife, whose vlrtuea have
been, mentioned frequently, had one fault,
wftlch. up to the present moment, had re
mained uncatalogued she waa a fresh air
'fiend!
.."Oh!" ahe exclaimed, as she sank Into a
seat, "soma woman oil thla train has on
j. gardenias and," ahe added, accusingly to
I Her Husband," you knew they alwaj-a
make me 1111"
'.?Well. dear.", replied the Poet Graduate
Husband, who was grieved at having to
took up-from hla morning paper, "I didn't
XTiftve them to her. Don't blame me!"
JT "I'm pimply dying of suffocation!" con
tlhued Hui Wife, without noticing the In
terruption. .''Why do women want to reck
of these saccharine, funereal odors? Please
won't you let In aome fresh air. I don't
think I can breathe another minute In this
awful atmosphere!"
The Post Uradtiate Husband ' turned to
comply with Ills Wife's request and caught
a baleful glare from an elderly woman of
the' oM Kchool who bellevea that even to
open the windows of the aoul provokes
pneumonia. v
."We'll get to Hoboken In a few minutes,"
temporized Her II unhand. "I guess you'd
better stamt It for a while longer.".
His Wife, however. Insisted on opening
Uiej-ej- window and Her Husband, who had
ever " aurrounaea py women before
Undoing of Mr. Uplift
- Anu Alalia rAMfvO
1 perceive that Boaton haa ' started a
school where men are iaught how to feed
. and take care of babies." remarks Uplift,
lt with a note of approval In hla voice In
tended to Impress young Mr. Uplift with
lite desirability of auoh knowledge.
"Haa anybody here seen Brooklyn?"
hummtngly Queries Son, with the attitude
of one who bellevea . that a mistake haa
been made on the part of the founders of
the new Institution. "I suppose lesson No.
X will be to show the klda how to put away
) thoae famous baked beans."
It aeems to me that there Is need for
knowledge of this sort on the part of men
everywhere," declares Father.
"Believe . me. Pop," asserts Son, "the
little school stunt that ought to be pulled
off In every town la a place to teach the
skirts bow to feed ua grown men three
square meals a day. If soma of these
'philanthropic guys will put up the cash
for a scheme like that I'll be ready to vote
f 'em a neat tombatona when they kick In."
"If huebanda understood the care of In
fanta," resumes Father, "tired mothers
might be able to get away from their duties
once In a while."
"If hubby learned how to Juggle the klda
without cracking their cocoanuts," ven
tures Son, "you can take It from me that
wifie would beat It away from the little
flat the minute the boss showed up from
bis work at night. - The happy father with
three or four bright offsprings would have
to learn to work a cradle with one foot,
feed another kid out of a bottle, keeping
'the others amused and entertained by va
rious circus atunta guaranteed by the col
lege to prevent the plain wild variety of
boy from wrecking the flat."
"The man that knows all about chil
dren Is a great aid to hla wife." remarks
ritntr.
"In
passing around the medals," reminds
Hon, "please don't forget the kind and lov
ing papa who thinks he knows all about
kids. Ha say he'a a great help to the
Mies us also, and the way ha throws out
hla chest when giving orders to hla four-year-old
hopeful you'd think he was the
whole Incubator. But one word from blm
and I notice the small boy usually doea
aa he pleases. If anybody can spot the
bot air artist quicker than the up-to-date
klddo, he hasn't aent In hia name and ad
dress yet to yours truly."
"Sclentlfio training of children la a very
' CALLEXX
I hava been successful in ercrjp
tblng I hava ever undertaken."
"Really Do you think yea
eouli start now and walk to Saa
Francisco?" ' '
WFE TNSlSVr.O ON OPENIr.
THC CAB. WiNDCM
did not know which way to turn.
"You have no right to open a car win
dow In January," he protested. "You must
consider the comfort of others! You know
very well every other woman In the car
will object." '
The Amateur Wife turned In her seat and
looked at him. And the winds that whistled
around the pole are not colder than waa her
glance.
"I can't see why you should concern your
self with any other woman in this car but
your own wife," she observed. "What
does It matter whether they freeze or not
I'll faint In another minute unless I get
some fresh air."
"Well. 1 can't open that window! You
are most unreasonable!" declared the Post
Graduate Husband. "I can't Imperil the
lives of a whole earful of women Just to
gratify one of your whims!" he added
peevishly.
"You ought to be willing to drown them
all if I wanted you to!" answered the
Amateur Wife, vehemently. "But If you're
a frail cat! I'll do It myself! I suppose you
fear that queer creature down there with
a van load of false hair will catch cold!"
Her Husband had not aeen the vlsien eo
described, but he was unwilling to admit
that he had missed It.
"I'm going to open the window, any
how!" declared Hla Wife, rebelllously, and
she suited the action to the word.
The Post Graduate Husband frowned.
"What you're doing Is against the Jersey
law!" he exclaimed. "And If you persist In
keeping the window open I won't answer
for the consequences!"
His Wife smiled. And to her Bewildered
Husband It seemed aa if every other woman
In the car smiled with her.
The muffled old lady In front beamed
for the flrat time In several hours.
"Oh. thank you, dear." ahe murmured,
and the other women In the car seemed
similarly grateful.
The Amateur Wife looked smilingly at
Her Husband.
"We are all very grateful. Indeed," she
said,' "all of us, I'm sure. You see, dear,
every woman 'In thla car Is a member of
the ilountalnvllle Kresh Air club!"
.(Copyright., lull, by the N. Y. Herald Co.)
'A training: School for Fathers,'
Argrued by Father vi. Soa.
the Han who
KNOWS ALL ABovf
CHILDREN IS A
OfcEAT AIOkTO
H15 WIFE
Important problem In this present age."
gravely suggests Father. "Mothera as well
aa fathers ought to be willing to learn all
they can about the beat methods."
"Vou can leave It to the kids to tell the
old folks what they don't know about the
business." believes Son. "Whenever a
fond father la In doubt about the proper
depe for his son, all he needs to do Is to
ask the boy. I'm willing to bet real money
that no college will ever be able to pick
the hot onea right off the bat like a bright
kid."
'The older children are probably able to
get along very well," admits Father, "but
we are now dealing with the care of
babies
"There a a bunch of old opes that ought
to be In the Infant clasa at that." observes
Son. "Aa for me, I know two or three
swell little babies that I d like to get a
few lessons on how to feed them an after
theater supper ao I can get by for less
than a five spot. Among us men there's a
crying need for Inside Information on this
subject. A night school on some handy
corner along Broadway ought to do well
handing out tip on thla proposition."
"Among the various uplift projects,"
avers Father, "care of the young appeals
to me aa being one of the moat timely. I
hope the married men will ahow their ap
preciation of thla new college."
"Boston bachelors will probably flock to
the new college In bunches," remarka Son,
"and then go home and write books on the
subject. In Brooklyn. Harlem, the Bronx
and other places where the babies come
from, married men are too buay taking
orders from their wives to waste time
going to school."
"There la a tendency to overfeed chil
dren," complains Father, "especially among
fathers."
"After a little experience," replies Son.
"even a Brooklyn papa knowa better than
to let the klda eat the rubber planta and
other brlc-a-brao around the flat. Next to
the playful goat, kids hold the record for
eating anything from golf balla to plug
chewing tobacco and getting away with It.
la most families a stomach pump would
make a bigger hit than a college diploma."
(Copyright. 1DH. by the N. T. Herald Co )
Gealle t ale's stasia,,
Most of ua mean Just what we Bay at
the time we say It.
Making love la easier than making a for
tune, but It Involves greater chances.
in
Id Li.
1 be khcpheril nml ills
Text: "My sheep lnar my
know them, and thev follow
l 27.
There la. apiarentlf. at the present time.
no definite line diann between the Chris
tian and the non-Chrlstlan. There seem"
to be no line of demarcation separating
the children of ."hrit from those who are
net In Ms fold. In the early history of the
Christian church the line separating these
two classes of persons was more clearly
recognized. To be a christian then had a
greater significance than It has today.
Christians were then In a minority. They
were In the heathens' hands To become a
Christian often meant a sacrifice of all
property, of all future hope of position,
fame and henor. It often meant a sacri
fice of personal liberty. It meant that at
any time the call might come to undergo
a martyr's death. .
Under such circumstances It Is apparen;
that on one would emer the church of
Jesus Christ save he who was truly called
by the spirit of (1ml, Hut after some time
the church became more prominent: tlu
condltlnns changed; men could enter more
easily, and a time further progressed
Chrlstanity In Its external form took on de
cided modifications. Men's minds becan to
differ In respect to some of the doctiine'
of Christianity. They differed as to form.
Pome became heretics, others became skep.
tics. Consequently we find these a wel
aa many other diverging tendencies li
the Christian world today.
"But what has been the result of all this
Plainly this: The lack of precision, tin
lack of deflniteness In regard to drawitr
thls line between the children of God ar
the children of this world, tended to U
atroy the Christian standard. Chratlanit
does not mean to the world what It ahouli
It has lost Its par value. To enter th
church now means to many a person ver
little more than to enter a lodge, a clul.
or any other worldly organization. l
would Indeed be very difficult to nanit
definitely and unmistakably those who be
long to Christ and those who do not belong
to Christ. Nominal church membership
counts very
enumera'i
In vlef
directed
Savlouri
know -
little
takiug the correc:
so do In,
you tht jper
f, t Triad' tr show
disposition or relation of
Hill U IP
iftHNALS of AiMlKM
so x
Johnnie In nicer than anyone most of the
time, but I must say ' I can't understand
hla Ideas about some things. We have
had an awful fight, and it Is going to be
a long while before I forgive him for say
ing I have no discrimination, and that I
ought to have a nurse to go around with
me. I believe my Judgment Is as good aa
his. I think Mrs. de Braggl Is perfectly
beautiful. I met her at a tea, and she was
so nice to me, and Introduced her husband,
and begged me to call, and said she lived
In a studio.
She had such wonderful yellow hair, and
the most marvelous complexion. Her
oheeks had such a delicate pink In them.
I thought it was awfully Interesting, her
living In a studio, and I asked her It she
painted. I couldn't see what I had said
that waa wrong, but Johnnie turned hla
back, and she looked dreadfully Irritated.
I felt aa though I had made a serious mis
take, and told her I was sorry If I had
aeemed curious, but I had felt sure she
must. She looked perfectly furious, and
Johnnie was evidently choking on a sand
wich, with his back still turned. I was
sure he wss laughing at me, so I said In
aa dignified a way as possible, that I had
seen some pictures of kittens sitting In a
hat, and had thought they were algned
with her name, and when she said she
lived In a studio, I thought she must be
the artist.
She got very good natured again, then,
but said aba didn't paint anything, and
asked me to come to a dinner ahe was go
ing to give. I accepted Immediately, as I
thought It sounded most attractive.
On the way home I was going to tell
Johnnie of It, but he waa so disagreeable
when I spoke of her that I decided not to.
Cousin Anne went out of town the day be
fore the affair, bo I did not mention It to
her, as I waa afraid she might be disagree
able about poor Mrs. de Braggl, too.
Strange aa It may seem, I have discov
voice, and 1 jglJ 1 fc-y
me." John V.rl I I trr
Bbt. r. 8. BangT, Pastor rirst
Reformed Church, Omaha, Heb.
Christ's children to Christ himself.
"This expression of Christ Is a highly
figurative one. It is based upon Oriental
habit and experience. Should you go Into
the Jordan valley or Jordan plain, even
at the present time, you could see there
large flocks of sheep with their shepherds
watching over them by day; and when
night would begin to fall you could see
them lead, their flocks back Into the fold,
where they are secure from all external
foes during the darkness of the night. The
sheep follow to the shepherd's call. In the
mining, when he puts them forth, he
nlks before them, he speaks to them, and
icy follow him. They know his voice.
tit the call of a stranger they will not rec
snize. The shepherd also knows his sheep
nd Is able to call each one by name.
The divine call signifies the same thing
to us. Christ knows that we are wander
ing sheep. He knows that we are so prone
to stay away, and that we are exposed
to great danger. Way back ln Isaiah we
find a statement that already alludes to
this very fact. The prophet Bays, "All we,
like sheep, have gone astray; we have
wandered everyone In hla ifivn way."
Christ knew this and knows It now, and
thus calls to him, so that we might be
protected by Him.
Then. Christ also desires to lead us Into
better pastures. We do not always know
what Is best for us. We go where we
:
ered ttyat she and Johnnie think a guod
deal alike about things. The dinner was
quite disappointing. I asked Agnes what
studio parties were like, and ahe said they
always kicked the chandelier down,, and
'I ASKKD HER IF PHK PAINTED.'
r
Women Conductors
They have women conductors on the
electric cars of Santiago, the capital of
Chile. This was made necessary by the
late war, which took so many men to the
front, and Imposed upon women the work
usually done by men. The custom haa been
kept up, the women having proved equally
aa efficient as the men had been.
i y
. hi. .id in., h... .c are wh.w jiil.
not be. Hut Christ wants us to thrive, to
live well. He wants to make us happy
and peaceful. It has been told us. "Thou
will keep him In perfect peace whose mind
Is staved on Thee "
He knows what Is best for us and wants
to give that to us. He knows that If we
are left to ourselves we shall loiter al
most Invariably upon the dry and barren
hill tops, where there Is nothing good
no stimulation for either body or soul.
Thus Christ calls us to Him to lead us
aright. Truly we dare to say as David
once said. "The Lord is my shepherd. 1 1
shall not want. He maketh me
down in green pastures: He leadeth me
beside the still waters. He restoreth my
soul. He leadeth me In the paths of right
eousness for His name's sake."
And lastly. Christ, our Good Shepherd,
calls us in the evening to lead us Into the
fold. When the ahadea begin to stream
across the aky; when the night of life's
long day approaches; when, perhaps, our
senses have become blurred, our eyesight
dim and death's gloom hangs above us
In the near future, then Christ, with a
welcome voice, comes to us and 'says.
"Come unto Me all ye that are weary and
heavy laden and I will give you rest."
Hut what is the meaning of this call
In a more practical sense. In this sense
It Is a call of reparation from the evil
of this world. It "la a call from the In
fluence of the flesh, from sin, from cor-
I . . .. 1 1 ...It ...... .amA thru.
L.. "' ... I J": .. ,.. .......
when God called him to make of him u:
great nation Yes. to make him the father j
of ail the children of Israel, as well j
ill the children of Israel, as well as j
the father of all them that believed. 11
Is the call that came to St. Paul when
he was stricken down prostrate upon the
ground while he was upon his way to
Damascus. It was the call that came to
him then that made him the apostle to the
Gentile world. In short, It is a call to
consecration, to the blessed life with Jesus
Christ, even though He lived here upon
earth, it Is a call to service. It Is a call
to work.
The problem before us now is to deter
mine precisely where we are. If there,
is any doubt in the mind. If there Is any
question as to safety and security, follow
the guide. Jesus Christ, a little farther.
Go over the line with Him. Ascend to I
the top, where you may be anie to say,
"I am Thine. Oh, Lord, I am Thine!"
Safe forever. "Safe In the arms of Jesus."
11
A
)jU$T-OUTiftU
HTM.F
"TWC.l
had themselves served up In soup tureens
at a dinner, and were very devilish.
But nothing of the sort ' happened. 1
kept expecting them to throw food, at one J
another, at least.
After dinner somebody sang and the men
were very attentive to me, and nearly
all of them asked If they could see me
home. I left at half-past ten, when Mar
garet called for ' me. and 1 couldn't help
confiding In the nicest man, who told me
he was an actor, that I thought It a little
dull. I asked him If he didn't think some
body would do something exciting, and
he said Mr. de Braggl would have a fit at
such a suggestion, and waa frightfully
particular, and nearly choked a man to
death once who threw an olive at his wife.
The nexf da,y Johnnie and I had a fight.
He Bald I should never have gone and
that ' he was amazed that I should have
thought of a such a thing. He said he pre
ferred not to know people who behaved
In a rowdy manner himself.
I went to a dinner at the Splashterbelts
last night and all of Johnnie's best and
dearest friends were there.
When the Ices were placed on the table
Jack Hanvers put his hand In his plate
and, taking up some of his Ice, put It all
over Freddie Splashterbelt's head. Then
Edith Gaylord spread hers on the seat of
Freddie's chair when he stood up to pour
champagne down the back of Jack's collar.
He sat down In It, and he did look muasy
when he Jumped up again.
He and Freddie threw brandled cherries
at Edith after that, and they certainly
could aim. Then they put what was left
of the Ice cream on her hair. Luckily she
waa able to take most of It off and have
one of the waiters remove It to the dress
ing room. Agnes and Johnnie both agreed
afterward that It waa the smartest dinner
of the season.
But I can't understand why he should
object to the deBraggls.
- Bv t a. if.J I
SwWe Celebrate
SATURDAY,
January 28, 1911.
Name Hiul Atldrcs.
J. P. Atktuon. 1810 Kmniet St
Carrie Her. 1917 Clark St
Mary Babler, 1039 South Twenty-fourth
... i.JJohn Brown, 104 North Forty-first St
Mabel Hell. 116 South Twenty-ninth St
Gertrude Dloomqulnt. 2706 Manderson St
Eugene K. Clark. 2217 Poppleton Ave
L-uclle Ruth Carlson. 4306 North Twenty -
Dagmar Cook. 210 Cedar St
Henry Chilman. 4417 North Thirty-ninth
William Denorataky. 2112 California St
Helen Kdholm. 1960 Jonea St
Fannie F. Fair. 4719 Parker St
Helen Flynn, 4117 North Twenty-fifth Ave. . . .
Ida Horhn, 2639 Davenport St
Robert Hamilton. 1 723 North Thirty-second St..
Neola Jenkins, 2603 North Twenty-sixth St....
Norma Johnson, 1627 Locust St
Cecilia Kanaka. 237 Francis St
Emma 1.. Kock. 1404 Bancroft St
Oretchen 1.. Moorman. 1912 South Thirty
Kmily Moravek, 417 Woolworth Ave
Agnes Mathien. 4128 North Thirty-seventh Ave Monmouth
Huth Madden. 2439 Templcton St.
paui Moser, 3312 North Fortieth Ave
Paul MoBer 3312 North Fortieth Ave.
.. -v-i oooo m.i ct
HUl V . 1CIBU1I, 04.tr i'miilC ...
Avis A. Nichols. 4245 Grant St
David W. Nelson. 3117 Taylor St
Helen A. Oleson, 1922 Douglas St
Frederick Poesch. 2006 South Fourth St
Kvelyn M, Price, 5 Shelby Court
('.race K. Ramage. 2 225 South Fifteenth St
Helen M. StefTena. 1015 Park Ave
John MacDonald Solomon. 1305 South Thirty-flrst St
Frederick T. Vette 1325 South Thirty-fifth St
Frank Wachtler, 2313 Vinton St
Albert H. Wagner, 1908 South Thirty-fifth Ave
Jlmmle Wehley, 1722 South Thirteenth
Richard Voung, 306 South Thirty-eighth
Some Silhouettes of the Sidewalk
BY BOBBIE BABBLE.
Soul of true leisure, spirit of repose,
Strolling unhurried In a World of haste;
Hall him with shouta aa unperturbed he
goes,
Loitering In paths where lesser men have
raced.
Not his to hurry, nay. not his to fly:
Life Is too full of fascinating things
Lured by diversions as he saunters by.
This Mercury forgets his leei nave
wings.
The tariff needs revision what cares he?
Women demand the vote he heedB them
not.
The market Is aa bearlike as can be
stial! that disturb our Johnny-on-the
Spot?
Let men Impatient wait the news he bears,
If It be mournful, 'twill arrive too soon;
If It be cheerful, well and good. Who
cares T
'Twill serve at sundown or at rising
moon.
Hark! How his speech goes straightway
to the point:
"Hey, Bill! I got a tip on dat thoid
race.
I met a live One In a downtown Joint,
Who sea to play Pink Domino for place.
What are you playln ? Messenger? No
good.
He falls asleep, dey say, Inside a mile.
Ills feet are Iron and his legs are wood.
Just back Gunpowder, an' ye ll blow yer
pile!
"Naw, I can't stop to chin wid you all
day.
I got a Job one o' dem escort games
To take two ladles to de matlnay,
An' den explain de city to de dames.
It's funny work! Dey are de kind dat say.
Blanketing a Brother
J
At the recent annual dinner In New
Tork of the representatives' club (an or
ganization composed of the advertisement
soliciting forceb of the leading monthly
and weekly publications) Rabbi Wide told
this story:
A party of ministers In a Pullman car
happened to have as their neighbors a
party of advertising men. The advertising
men talked shop Incessantly and In such
loud tones that conversation among the
clergymen was Impossible. When at last
a lull came one of the ministers, his eyes
twinkling, began a story, speaking care-.
fully, so that he would be overheard:
"Last night," said he, "I dreamed that
I waa In heaven and was being shown
around by St. Peter. When we had seen
most of the sights St. Peter led us to a
mansion situated far away from anything
else. From It constantly Issued the sound
of boisterous talk.
" 'What place Is this?" I Inquired.
" 'This is the home of the advertising
men.' replied St. Peter.
There was quite ten seconds, when an
advertising man snapped out:
" 'Boys, I dreamed last night I was In
heaven and being ahown around by St.
Peter. We came to a palatial mansion
which waa quiet aa the grave.
" 'What place Is this? I Inquired.
" 'This mansion la Bet aside for the min
isters,' St. Peter replied.
" 'But.' said I, it's so quiet. There Is no
life here.'
" 'Oh.' St. Peter responded quickly, 'none
of 'era has arrived yet." "Metropolitan.
Employers should insist on thorough ven
tilation of their work places If only for a
selfiBh reason, because their employes can
not possibly develop their full efficiency
when they are starved fur lack of oxygen.
Tills, again, naturally leads to a craving
for stimulants tea, coffee, alcohol or some
thing of that kind.
Daily Health Hint
mm
School. car.
Kothrop 1904
Kellom 1897
St Mason IPOS
High 1S95
Karnam 1S7
I.othrop ..1!H4
Park 1904
second St. .Saratoga 1P00
Triln l!0t
St Central Park 1SS
Central 1KJ6
Leavenworth 1905
Walnut Mill 19X0
Saratoga 1904
Farnam 1905
Franklin 1S99
I.othrop 190S
Lake 1905
Train ....1899
Carman
- fourth St.. Windsor
Lutheran. 1.S98
1905
.Train 1903
Park. .1980 -
Saratoga 1902
Clifton
11111. . . .
Kennedy
1900
1902
1S94
1900
Howard
- -
High
Monmouth Park.
Lentrai
. . . 18fl
. . .lS9
. . .1902
. . .1896
. . .190.1
. . . 189S
, Train
, Mason . . ,
, Comenlus
Park
Park
Park 1905
.St. Joseph 1902
.Windsor 1902
.Lincoln 1903
St. .
St Columbian 190 4
The Mes
senger Boy
J
'Where are de fast dlvea In dls awful
town?'
I take 'em over to some swell cafay,
Dey look an' gasp, an' wot I say goes
down.
"Wot's dat? You got two billboards for
de show?
All right! I'm wid yer I'll be dere at
eight.
Dls week de bollesque Is a peach, I know;
De Barnyard Beauties In 'De Garden
Gate.'
Hey, Joe, wot way yt goln'T Riverside?
Jus' take dls note fer me yore wolk Is
slack.
r Here's movln' pitchers, I'll Jus' step
Inside
Ye ll find me waltln' here when you get
back!"
(Copyright, MIL by the N. T. Herald Co.)
f Where We Got Our Hair
J
Tails, plaits, colls, twists, cameos, tou
pees, curls, fringes, cappettes, frames,
transformations, empire puffs, chignons of
curls, Grecian cluaters and "rats" these
are tew of the aids to beauty of coif fur
adopted by fashionable women of today.
Black hair cornea from the south, and
light mainly from Germany. Of the Ger
man and French hair markets, where
peasant girls part with their glorious
tresses for a tew francs, we have heard
before; but It would seem that much of
the hair that is created into "rats" and
other monstrosities of feminine fashion Is
procured by other means.
The Chinese government. It Is said. Is
taking steps to stop what has been a
practice of some of the hair dealers of
Canton, from whom large supplies of black
hair are received In this country. This
practice Is the gruesome one of exhuming
corpses to secure the pigtails. Fashionable
ladles hava often no Idea where the hair
they are wearing comes from Philadelphia
Inquirer.
"Did the widow who w'ai fter
6am marry him?"
"No; ha escaped her '
'What did be die oO
ICE ESCAPED.