THE I'.r.K: OMAHA. MONDAY". JANUARY 1D1t
azire a
The Dce'a Junior Birthday Book
The-Tired Business Man
FY VAJ..TI.1I .V. SINCLAIR.
Toll Friend Wife tlie
Sylll FxrlianKV Will
Havre Hello iUrl.
his is the Da
.
it-r m
fl fc.l. Hi
I,: i " Mel
" fa
Whl-h--.aio yon think Ik the national
t-tii mooiiMtin iaurcl or the colum-
sked I-'rii nd Wife. .
anuake I. Dir." retorted the Tired
I'.mi(ips Mait. "Thm rr (lint i strictly
.ni4iff. ' ithrr lx I would nominate that
fHirofl of olm Indoor plant. hose swept
inn rl-K -wlwrf-.w nlrrluift are-I refer
(.i ieine1 beef nrwi eal.baae
II l certainly a matter to gt excited
mi'i Ko to fi binac -ahout - till iiietloii of j
Iwl our national Uvun .1 to be. Tlir i
only explanation,! can think -nf for this I
si.drlen case of nutlonal flower on tlip
bram i the tc that many are wearing, i
flowpr -pot hats on tiielr coiffures, oilier- I
wise therp would hp no excuse for no many j
l'tr -in w umrn's oluhe, using scornful
pBiiirnHH- about their opponent' selection.
"irni time aisHig. the. shiniest nranj
."kii'fing -to- pnW the llly-or rather thp
mountain laurel' er ouiumhtn. as th"r case
rop v he: . i " '
"Prohiihlv ( !.. harmless and gentlp
wxj. although (hat In often exactly the
kliij nf sjart which later becomes a riot
Involving . hi mlea and navies. Just (hlnlc
of the. brain .row 'tr mrt araiimentatlvenpss
goigg n.u on 1MB ltnortant subject,
though xt a tlinp whrn Jhpre are such
trt al , rlvpi subjects ns the tt-iiKcle f"r
pxWenyf ,tln' afH qnrlnK cost of llvlna. (hp
trot. Hip war jrare. the proper npbrlng
ln, o( cj'ijcjVcn, the .stifffRKe question, hob
Ma. KlTts Ioo'hp'. skimpy figure of gen
erous, the tariff direct nominations, popu
lar senator iind v hethi-r lo bp a blonds or
hrunetlf th'la,aapon
"O'it scorning aoiup pftty ' aubjprta the
dh.tpr .of thp wompti'a rluh havp hurlpd
thpoikPjvVu Into'thp hrpnch alnffular. you
notp- (q fifchl. for our mllonal flower.. Of
w i inrsf. a nHi.Hioni Bn ninif iiiiibi up I or
1 rol kooiIk an l 'f(rt to ia(p. first to war.
'- A' In thp heart of Its counlrymen and
i 4Ciur.v'woinrn-lum-tPi-tiimp-tump! BinR.
ipfc! f,"u kriow'liow" It Is with anything
natlonHl vvp havp. ' , "
) 'Jfook at . iiii'r' nathihal bird, the eagle.
iVte .! thp dcarosl of the fpathprod Inhabl
t ant of ,oilr fair liinf,' typlral of our coun
I, try,. .No on'i"an" atroll on the lawn wlth
i 4feit apolni IVin iutflp honiilnif around tvlnir
: f Taj )rs. there to tparh the young the In-
'uph-lna- iPMfiort iff oift-iatlonal btrd.
1' And! IKeiOra the'natlonal anthem. Of
I coirse pX'WV otTB' known what It Is. No,
I nif-jafa nhthrne trut 'Oed Save the Kinsr.'
iy. .. " , iL
"fpr lo m9 oinnr. irup, iiib lime w
'31 .r , .
laVn tie or wlnKlng Into the hparest
Many hVve eal In rages In their
i.
7i u
"SPEAKEIl.'" , ; .
aiutpd'd froin ome German. T believe, hut
it Is so handy to have an enus to stand
up In a theater and show your good clothet
when they play It. And then the word
are engraved on the heart of every Ameri
can. I mean the four words, 6ay, can you
see?' t'sually they can't, but that doesn't
prevent them from atnpping and congrat
ulating each other on their memories, after
w hich they conveniently forget, to , finish
the verse until the band It hitting the ho-ho-hum
of the bur-rave" I dare the aver
age human to go clear through without
mles on kpy or words.
"Nobody suggests we have, a, national
eats. Kverybody who reads .the foreign
papers knows Its pork. And a for a na
tional drink, nowhere else can bne get a
proper loe cream aocla. But how .many of
us would recognise a mountain laurel If
they met one coming up the street? Or a
columbine, not. to be prejudicial in my
questions? Why don't they take the Ameri
can beauty roue at the time when it re
tails at $1 per rose. That would literary
Interpret the American dollar, and that'
national enough. There's only one nation
has any right mixing In a flower war.""
"What nation?" asked Friend Wife.
"Carnation." chorted the Tired Business
Man.
(Copyright, 111. by the N. Y. Herald Co.)
Certain kinds of labor will always be a
drug on the market, but the time will
never come, when good workmnnxhlp will
not be at a premium.
11,11 a tmm0 "
QUtCc ) . I I TTv.l c"'etr AMD sctg- I (7 ,
1
Mtam wArefs nevs v ' - 1,1 Jy'v Ail AvlTa' "V-
pQJ ' c l
I III Tlrm't Pp Tnn r.Ynp.tinfr WViP.n P.n crfl.orp.fl 1
J"ha gret Idea e'ame' to' me day before
lyeirterdaV an4 I have bedh so' excited about
t I can thin U of 'nothing else. I am going
o make myself a ball gown. 1 simply
:annot tanr-TTiS' 3l'r'e8S"es' "ffiat Cousin
anna designs aiactdrdert tor me On Mon
day one waa flnlwhed and sent home and
k f(iuir that, in pfrihitil ray atrlctest orders
to th' 'cohtraryi 'lt he'd been made of some
Bd fjlte sUUf And .had. a lot of fussy
IHttunrntfoii It - U had a avrt of sick look.
It waa just tn kind of frock that Con-
tape. JSyardmAA" would wear and argue
about the weather In. I had to wear It to
the HttataV danoe,' and ' just because I
ite it bo ad fvH that It hated me I did
' fi ! tr - K I L
Mr II 1!
gold, told me she though my gown aulted
ma very well.' She said, , "With your color
ing, my dear, ' you ought to dress quietly
or you will look conspicuous." : I . said I
thought If would -rather nlee--o- -look
little conaplcuoua. . "Not at all," said
Agnes, looking at Piggy, whom she Is
craiy about, "I. would rather look .quiet
and lady-like." As she was staying with
me end worked hard for five years )n get
ting herself to look anything but that, J
had to grin.
Piggy, who thinks he has fearfully high
Ideals, but who would he bored to death
If he were obllgeU to spend two hours In
the society of a, girl who really acted the
way he talks, look at Agnea and said,' "Of
course you would, Agnes;' you' have my
Ideas about things. A woman who paints
and powders and tries to attract attention
Is an abomination." Agnes, who had about
half a box of. two kinds of face powder
mixed al! over her face and wearing a
rouge that she Imports from somewhere,
(he native mixture not being good enough
for her. looked Intensely virtuous and re
plied, "The way young gtrla make up now
adays la really dreadful!" Piggy' looked at
her tenderly and approvingly, and by the
light of the red candles Agnes wan enough
to make most any man feel tenderly to
ward her.
She had an alluring little black' patch
placed near her cjiln and, although I knew
there was a stronger reason than mere
coquettlshness for-rm being placed In that
4rTi I 71 particular locality. Piggy didn't, and was
fr, aM-JW'.ff much allured.
' u .in " .'its crwiiiiijs won iiwr
Instead of Constance Boardman, whA really
'Id the embodiment of all the Ideaa he says
all .aorta of 't-.ra.zy . things, and the more Ifhe believes In. and who would not dream
-f'S'6'vi,tt ItATilKTl 'LOOK Ql'lET AND
,. r..t .... AllY-MK'K."
would really anneal ' to me and some
others. I decided to buy the material
and put U together somehow myself. To
day I purchased the chiffon. , Kven un
made it Is wonderful. A glorlowa sea blue,
that Changes to green! .' '
It la so alive and so sinuous, and has
Much a oiarvwllou way of folding. Itself up
t Hi I-
felt it waa dulng tm beet, to make me
look and behave respectably, the less I
wanted to. . v.
Now, I r " JT. ' had been wearing a smart,
dililn"?' dress t)iat whs Inclined to be dar
liikTHnil had d'evliih little Ideas of Its own.
why. I would make a point of being very
quiet and demure myself and make It be
have ' most, decorously. Of course. I
wouldn't" be too severe", but as we would
thoroughly 'understand each other I
wouldn't, have to tK and we would enjoy
ourselves Invipenaelv together.
But at the Hunters'",! didn't have a good
time at all. I had supper with Johnnie
mJ XJany and Agno.s, and a glas of chain-
iK'ne got upset all'orr the front of the
ft lit. I didn t car a bit and burst out
atighlng ' Johnnie asked me what was
funny ahoht H,' and I told him how hideous
I thought fhe dress was and how deadly
respe.-table and genteel knew It made m
look, and hew-ft depressed Tiie. I cheered
up a little wien ' assMred ' ni that I
dfdn t prodm-e that effect In the least,
iter said "OVHIe, don't ' Wbrry a bit about
anything ll" that. If ynn appeared In
a -elky Mother-Hubberd gown you w ould
look ghWy t
'Aguea wtf tiad on ttie loveliest creutlon
of ' Hnvenduf and blue chiffon trimmed w ith
i-. . M i ' i
n, . ,
of using powder, rouge or . black patches.
Although If she once started to . put on
patches her face would look "'fearfully
dark. Having put that beastly dress out
of business, I began to dream of one. the
"I TOIJI HIM IT WAS MY NEW BALL.
l!OWN."
Into nothing ana then suddenly appearing
to be a great deal I got positive yards of
It and took It home with me. I met John
nie and he anked me what I had In the
little package. I told him my new ball
gown, and he said he was sure It was going
to be most becoming.
In the first flush of an engagement
friends are sometimes given the goodbye.
Now, this Is a great mistake, for If the en
gagement Is lo be a reasonably long one,
such a Btate of things canno)' last. Diner
Ing Boclat duties must andutthould come
between sometimes, yet If a iiiqn ias been
In the habit of devoting all jhnVtinato a
girl, when the mement comat?tht a wild
yearning for masculine' society and games
overtake him, there will prpbably Hie tears
and reproaches on her pail. - '
The girl does not realise that the very
things that make, as. fhe Irishman said,
an engagement the beat part of matrimony
are the enforced absences and delightful
reunions.
As for an exacting lover! Think twice
before you marry him, i for a man who
"can't bear you out of hlsjilght." and who
makes a fuss every tlmo you accept an
Invitation not extended to him, looks re
markably like developing Into a domestic!
tyrant.
Neither a man nor a girl engaged has
the right to a monopoly of "the other's
society and attentions. They muy demand
to be first In every way, but; as a man
once said, "a fellow needn't kick other
women's trains aside Just, because he
wants to reach a girl at the other end of
the room." He can atlll be civil.
At a dance, for Instance, It would be
most unreasonable for either to object to
the other giving some donees to other part
ners. A girl would naturally let her fiance
have her program first; but It would only
make them look both ridiculous If they
danced together the whole evening. Cupid,
remember, lives on frefdom. ' Give him
all you can. It la not only in marriage
that love dies of over-feeding, of Indiges
tion. It can happen In the period, of pro
bation, too.- Be sparing with your love let
teis and caresses. They will be all the
more appreciated If rare.
i x veic urate
MONDAY,
January 23, 1911.
Xame and Addrvsa. Rrhool. Year.
t'grllsle V. Allan. 2124 Hurt St High 189
Mary A. Anderson, 3204 Maple St Howard Kennedy. 103
Raymond Brown. 622 North Fourteenth St Cum ..1P0I
Max O. Beebe, 4910 California St High 18!2
Carl H. Bloom. 4321 California St Saunders 1901.
Verne Bryant, 3014 Ames Ave . Monmouth Park.. 190 2
Clelus Edward Barnett, 2517 Ohio St Sacred Heart. .. ..1900
Edward Ble, 2323 South Eighteenth St Casteilar 1901
Wlllard A. Colton, 2113 Douglas St Central 1901
Myrtle Duston, 504 Pierce St Pacific 1898
Jean Evernon. 1603 Maple St ' .,1903
Francis Fogarty, 2607 Binney St Sacred Heart .... .1 904
Agnes Fiala, 1718 South Eighth St Lincoln .1904
Joseph D, Fogarty. 2607 Binney St Sacred Heart. .. ..1903
Clair Oilmore, 288C Miami St Howard Kennedy. 1899
Mary Clifford, 420 South Thirty-sixth S Columbian 1902
Eda Qrabe. 2420 South Fifteenth St Casteilar ..1899
Lester Hinzie, 4612 Davenport 8t Saunders 1895
Bessie Horak. 6420 North Forty-fourth St Central Park. . . ..1898
Richard Halker, 708 South Thirty-flrst St Farnam ..1899
Ellen Johnson. 1623 North Twenty-first St Kellom ....1903
Gertrude Kaiser, 3513 Parker St Franklin ....1898
Margaret Knora, 2568 Brown St Saratoga ....... .1902
Merlal G. Lee, 604 North Twenty-third St Central 1899
Harvey Lanta, 2310 North Twenty-seventh Ave Long .......... .1891
Joseph La Cour,2816 Pratt St. Howard Kennedy. 1898
Gertrude. LenBer, 2907 South Twenty-first St Central Park 1898
Lillian J. Meyers, 3323 Harney St Farnam .....1898
Petet Petersen. Fifty-first and C Sts Beals . .189S
John Philbln, 115 South Twenty-fifth Ave Central ....... ... .1901
Glenn F. Peterson, 2906 Manderson St Druid Hill. ...... 1899
Otto Rose, 1119 Arthur St Forest -.1904
August W. Raabe, 2609 North Nineteenth St Lake N .1898
Ladialaw Tesar, 1243 South Sixteenth 8t Comenlua 1897
Donald Sallander. 4206 Brown St Central Perk. . . ..1901
Lorln A. Thompson, 4040 Charlea St Walnut Hill 1902
Bessie Williamson, 1411 North Twentieth St Kellom 1905
Lupple. Wyman, 4117 Farnam St High ..
Elelne Yates, 2117 Wirt St Lothrop
, .1894
.1905
r
A Narrow Escape
j
Hemeinber. too. that "the barriers of
love are one sided. There is no climbing
back!" Privileges once gianted are soon
demanded as rights. Keep a good deal In
reserve. "Give a little, give more, but i
never give all," one' authority advises.
Half the charm of an engagement Ilea la
the anticipation of happiness to come, the
other half In the .secret fear that present
happiness may possibly be lost.' - A " little
touch of uncertainty, adds to the Joy of
liossesslon. . v
A girl Is foolish If she behaves so that her
lover ran say of her what one man said
to me of his fiancee: "Oh., she's the sort
of gill you simply can't lose!"
r
A Silly Question
J
One of the grades in a certain public
school was reciting Its lesson In Lnlted
States history. In detail the teacher nar-
lated the facts connected whh John Smith
ar.d his adventures with 1 tie Indians. Hhe
told how Smith was captured by the In
dians, how he was sentenced to death, Sn1
how Pocahontas saved his life. Then the
rtory turned to the marriage of John Rolfa
and Pocuhontas, and among the many
things she told them in connectlnon with
this unusual marriage that brought peace
between the Indians and colonists, waa of
their little baby boy, and also that they
visited England, and everywhere Poca
hontas received marked attention.
At the end of her Interesting story she
conducted a brief examination to see how
well the pupils remembered what she had
told them. The first tiuestion was:
"And what did the marriage of John
Rolfe and Pocahontas bring?"
"A baby." anxiously chirped a boy In
the back seat, and the school had recess.
National Monthly.
" you think It would be well for us to
be serious?" she asked.
"Good heavens!" I replied. "Haven't I
been serious? Why, 1 have been making
love to you steadily now for two weeks.
Could anything be ' more serious than
that?"
She regarded me stolidly.
"It has not been without Ita humorous
aspects." she asserted, "as. for example,
when you asked me If I would marry you."
I reflected. V
"Perhaps," I said, "It Is Just as well that
you regarded that part of It as humorous.
You might have felt, you know, that I
was taking advantage of you. It Is one
thing to make love, It Is another to
marry."
She sighed incontinently.
"And yet," she observed, not without a
alight touch of Impatience, "you are only
Just perceiving this. It has taken you all
this time to arrive at the truth."
"Will you forgive me?" I said gently,
"You must remember that you are ahead
of me la so many things. I perceive my
mistake, of course. But It Isn't too late,
you know. I can atlll do this, with an ever
Increasing gratitude to you for showing
me the way."
"That la the point." she declared, with a
touch of severity. "There has been too
much of It. 1 know all that you know
about making love, and' "
"1 am learning more all the time," 1
whispered. "Surely "
"I know all that 1 care to know about
what you know," she continued, Ignoring
my Interruption, "and I wish to know
something about your knowledge of other
things. How can we continue to ' be
well, friends If there Is but one thing thai
you can talk about."
"Why should we be friends?" ' ;
"You do not wish It?"
"Certainly not."
It suddenly, occurred to me, that a crisis
had risen between us. I saw that It was
all or nothing. I must act.' ';
"It Is this," I continued rapidly;' "are
you tired of my love making, and you
wish to know if there Is anything els that
I ran do that will make our company en
durable to each other. No, there Is not.
1 am hopeless In all other respects. , You
know that 1 cannot make love you have
tested me. Why, in two weeks' time I have
done nothing but talk. I haven't even
kissed you." . . ,,
At this Instant I took her firmly In my
arms.
"But this has got to end," I said sternly.
"I am going to now. There! and there!
and there!" .
She regarded me faintly.
"I was almost afraid,"- she whispered,
sinking Into mv arms, "that you Were Im
possible." Thomas I.. Masson In Everybody's.
r
The Ruling Passion
C
One Girl's Puzzle
1
ALE AGREED
ii r
w ,Glbbs iota paint a picture in
thre days and thMk nothing of!t"
"s.T,c'ja .other: .
"Ruth." writing in the 'Chicago Tribune
and addressing her remarks to "the love
M. U.." effuses thusiy: I take my pen In
hand to say I love a swell young man; I
think ha s simply grand. lT has them,
large and soulful eyes that trly'aiong with
art he's iMillshed up my heart. He only
earoa $4 per; four kopecks a his board, and
yet 1 love him something fierce. If he
can't pay his board. He gfves me many
little gifts of cocobars and gum. by whlrh
he's got me goln' south, which sure Is
goln' some! Therefore I think he loves
me, but a fairy never knows. I've hinted
strong, but he's afraid, and dassent e'en
propohe. My frlen's all Bay that I look
good and that my figger's fan-; -of course
I'm almost nearly total bald but love don't
mix with hair. I love this man juat awful I
strong, and when I think of him I rant i
and moan and grasp the air an nearly bust
a rim. He thinks an awful bunch of me, of
that I'm pretty sure. Now, can't 1 make
him marry me. or Is he much too poor?
lie's got to quit that raggln' me an' addin'
to suspense, because I've got another man
one of these classy gents; he's waiter In a
grand cafe and drags down twelve a week,
and b'lteve me. It don't take pe time to
mke that gexer fcpeak! He's asked me
half a doxen tines. Now, please tell me
the truth; shall I gloom onto btin or Bill?
Passl Kaatljr solved.
Prof. William James, Harvard's brilliant
psycholuglat, often Illustrated a truth with
a aiory.
"The 'most ghastly auperMltlon." Prof.
James said recently, ' has often Its base In
a ludicrous fact. It Is like the case of
Jones.
" Mones.' said a man. tell me that' hl I
wooden leg iined him horribly last night.'
" 'Nunatnae!' was the reply. 'How could
his woo'h n leg pain him" ' "
" lli wife.' the man explained, bit him
er the head with It.' "-lluujan, Iwf.
William J. Orthwein, at a dinner that
preceded his departure for, Switzerland,
told this curling story:
"I am almost as devoted a curler as
Dougal MacDonald. He and his old crony.
Donald MacDougal, were once opposed to
each other In a famous match, and the last
two stones to finish the game were the
two cronies.
"Donald MacDougal. with enormous de-
I 1 1 Kur. ,,-.., a, 1. i . i,,n LJ a ..,-., :
well. He made what Is called a 'pat lid.'
and Jumped for Joy.
"Then It was Dougal MacDonald'a turn
Ills case seemed hopeless, but such a
splendid throw did he make that the pat
lid was knocked off and his own stone lay
at the side of the tee, winning the game.
"In his Joy the old fellow Jumped sky.
high. He came down so hard that he
broke right through the ice. He sank, but,
bobbing up again, he shoutsd from the cold
water:
" 'HI, lads, we've won. and If I dinna
come oot o' here alive, be sure ye pit that
stone on my grave.' "Philadelphia Bulletin.
I
Gum Not Gum
(elllea Correct Time.
Tiof. Turner had been spending the
Chiistnias vacation In- Kgypt to supervise
the erection of a telescope at Helouan. Cap
tain Lyon, who was In charge of the in
strument, said that he had found that at
noon every day a gun was fired, and was
anxious to know how the system worked.
Accordingly, he Interviewed the gunner
and asked how he knew when to give the
signal.
"oh, 1 look at my watch," said the of
ficial. "And how do you correct your watch?''
asked the captain
I take It to the maker in Cairo and he
tells me the error."
Forthwith Captain Lyons interviewed the
watchmuker and aaked him how he checked
the error of the watch
"I get the correct time from the gun." I
said that simple craftsman. And thus time
was told In Egypt -Montreal Standard.
Judge William II. Moore at one of the
horse show dinners In New York compared
the London and the American horse
ahows.
"Both are admirable." he said. "There
are differences, of course. But these dif
ferences reflect neither On one show nor
the other. They are necessary differences,
Ilka-"
Judge Moore' smiled.
"I went Into a stationer's shop in Lon
don one day and said to the shop as
sistant: ,
" 'Do you keep mucilage?' '
" 'No, sir,' the young woman answered.
'We try to take In all the papers, but
there are so many new ones' coming out.
Still. I ran order mucilage tor you sit.
Which number did you want?'
"I learned afterward that 1 should hsva
asked for gum. They don't have the
word 'mucilage' over there In Kngland.
"But an Englishman traveling on one
of our railways stopped a train boy and
I said :
"'Have you got any gum?'
"'No, I don't use It, boss,' the boy re
! plied In friendly fashion, 'but I can let
I you have a chaw off this h.r. ,i,,. "
He is a mean thief w ho takes an " em
ployer's money without giving him ade
quate service In return.
ONE DRAWBACK.
tiastera ttatentallea.
Mr. Ilooaevelt at a luncheon as Osawa
tomie pralaed the west's Improvement.
"There Is polish and elegance In the re
motest parts now." he aald, "whereas, I
remember once in my youth, at the table
d hote of a western hotel, a miner pointed
toward me and said:
" 'tiet onter de bloke eatln' pie w Id a
fork. He must he an Kngllsh lord.' "New
York Tribune
III'
like your Chines
"Do you
cook?"
"Oh, yea; although we nerer
know whether he is tinging at bu
work or moaning in agony."