15
"-TlsC Bce'a Junior Birthday DooK
UTILE MON KM THE WIEEK'ENID)
Her Husband s Voice He EecomM Almoi,t n ai
nr am frf man Te 'or e Simpler Thing;! of Life
his is the Day W
TTIK HKK: OMATTA. RATT'TkDAV. JANUARY 14. 101 1.
ge
nm.
lit H
iiJ
W
The pout graduate hushAnd so called he
pause there was nn'hlng he didn't know
bout women looked up suddenly from the
evening paper.
"There's another society unman r
ralgned fnr taking goods from a depart
ment Mora! How In It that men are never
arreted for shoplifting?" he asked, with
a finality which Indicated that no answer
was possible.
"Because they are too busy wrecklnir
hsnks, I suppose,"" replied the Amateur
Wife. "You know on of the oldeat aocu
aatlona against our sex la that we have a
mind for detail. How allly It la to waate
time beating a car conductor out of a
nickel when you might be netting away
with million of the depositor' money!"
"But I'm In earnest." the Poet Graduate
Husband replied. "I don't auppoae any one
would maintain seriously that women are
aa honest aa men."
"Oh, no. dear!" the Amateur Wife repu
diated. "How could they when only flvs
per cent of the people In Jail are women?
Wasn't It Iomhromi who Bald that practi
cally there are no women criminals?"
"The Italian are a romantic nation." re
plied the Pout Graduate Husband. "I'm
mre there'a more poetry than truth even
In their statistics. Beside, you know very
well that the people In jail ara only five
per cent of those that should be there!'
"But eomebody haa to atay out1de to
be able to pay taxes to keep the Jail go
ing." the Amateur Wife protested. "Wo
men do a lot of that. We're the victims
of taxation without representation even
In the jails'."
"Women are petty grafters by nature!"
replied her Husband. "But they are not
watched a men are. They have not a
hundred eager competitors keeping tabs
on their allghtest deviation from the
plumb line of righteousness."
"No," admitted the Amateur Wife, "they
haven't. Competition Is by no means so
limited. Kvery woman has every other
woman for a competitor from the cradle
to the grave. But what makes you say
women are grafters?"
Suddenly her tone changed! Her voice
grew strangely eager! Her eyes wonder
fully keen!
"No wife Is a heroine to her husband,"
he replied easily. "The proper study of
mankind Is woman and I've had you for
an object" lesson for several yeara."
"Ho you mean to say that I would graft
In any particular," Inquired the Indignant
lady. ,
"How much money did you lose to ma at
pinochle Is night?" retored the prose
cuting attorney.
"But you said I needn't pay It." pouted
I he Amateur Wife. "You know you did!
1 started to run and get my pocketbook
"You started to crawl after It." the Post
Oradiinte Husband amended. "And I saw
that It would almost kill you to pay ihe
money! It always breaks a woman's heart
to Nettle her gambling debts ao I let you
off."
"I'll pay It now!" flashed the lady.
"Just you wait a minute."
And her husband, with an amused and
strangely tolerant amile waited while she
lUOWEW ABE fETTY GRATTERS Btf
NATVJZE SAID riEM. fiVtSAND .
disappeared In search of her pocketbook.
Grim was her expression of determina
tion when she returned. Orlm waa the
clutch at the big black leather bag. And
pitiful tn It resolute tragedy was the air
with which fche extended a limp dollar bill.
"I thlnl: that's It. isn't it?" aha observed
with a desperate endeavor at casualness.
Her husband glanced with a certain ten
derness at the crumpled bill.
"But," he aald tn hi most matter of
fact tones, "It's a dollar and forty cents."
"I'll hive to we you the forty cents.'
answered his wife faintly. "That'a every
cent I've got"
Her voice waa plaintive her eyea Im
ploring, but her bearing waa of Bpartan
resoutelness.
"I'll tell you what I'll do," announced
her husband magnanimously. ' "Get the
cards and we'll cut for the money! You
see. you might win It all back from me
tonight If I had time to play so well
cut."
The
Hrot kerhonri of M
Kingdom nt wt.
Text, Mutt. 2?:R-I0. "But be not yo
called Kabhl: for one la your Master, even
Christ; and all ye are brethren. And call
no man your father upon the earth: for
one la your Father, which Is In heaven.
Neither be ye called masters: for one I
your Master, even Christ."
Omitting for the present the historical
and anaytllcal Interpretation of the text,
we may here leain that God is the father
of man, that Christ' Is our Master, and that
all men are brethren.
We belong to God, and we are His chil
dren by right of creation, preservation
and eternal benefactions. All laws' under
which we live natural, moral and spirit
ualare Clod's laws. In a real and prac
tical sense all men are children of God.
The old Idea that some men are children
of God and others, children of the devil,
must be repudiated. Because all people
are His children. God loves all men; the
good and the bad, the strong and the weak,
the worthy and the unworthy. While
some of His children are obedient and
others, are disobedient; while some are of
Hi own spirit and others are ruled by
evil, God so loves all that He gave Hla
Bon, our Brother, to live, teach, suiter,
and die for our redemption. This Is the
great lesson of the parable of the Prodigal
Bon; this la the mystery of God's love as
set forth In John 3:11. .u
Recognlxlng God aa our Father and Jesus
Christ as our elder Brother and teacher,
we must recognize each other aa brethren.
This throws upon each of us the respon
sibility of doing all good we can to all the
people we can. In other words, we, are
under obligations to labor together as
brethren to establish and advance the
kingdom of God among men.
The character of the kingdom of God
nn.1 tbr 3 Eflh
W r--.-,,fcS
Four-Some have thought the kingdom to
consist In no'od works In morality. Thin,
however, will appear unreasonable when w
consider that it is God's kingdom, not a
klDK'lotn of man. not of this world. A
kingdom without God can never be the
kingdom of God. one may do good works
and . may ho moral In all relations to his
fellow men and still be an ungodly person.
Christ Insists upon the new birth, the birth
from above, the life of God In the soul of
tuan.
The. klnKiloni of God consists in four vital
elements In individual and lit social Ufa.
These elements are stated by Paul In
Humans 14:17 "For the kingdom of God Is
not meat and drink, but righteousness, and
peace, and jo In the Holy Ghost."
Many agencies contribute to the upbuild
ing of the kingdom the home, sending
forth people into the world and forailng
character In these people; the church of
Christ, teaching the law and the gospel and
leading men to the knowledge of their
Saviour; the school, educating youth In
the knowledge of God's world. In the prin
ciples of good cltixenbhlp, In the obliga
tions of humanity; the press, distributing
Intelligence, principles, data and the gospel;
fraternities, relieving the distress of suf
ferers and teaching more or less the obli
gations of brotherhood these agencies and
many more contribute to the advancement
of tha Kingdom of God among men. The
kingdom Is larger than any of Its oontrlb-
Br. Bev. Joseph X.. Guernsey, Pastor Diets
Memorial Methodist Episcopal Church,
and yet the heavenly kingdom will be the
perfected and glorious kingdom of God
We cannot say that all members of the
kingdom of God are members of the
church, nor thai all members of the church
are members of the kingdom of God.
Church membership alone does not make
one a disciple of Christ.
Churchmen have now and then erected a
wall of separation between themselves and
the masses of humanity, thus depriving ! uting agencies and Includes them all. The
mankind outside the church of the spirit- church, while the most Important of the
IV
j 1 1
n -. -41 n
'We Celebrate
SATURDAY,
January 14, 1911.
its,,
With a strange alacrity the amateur wife been ,arBely ml.und,mood or not
obeyed.
"You cut first!" she said, extending the
pack of cards to her husband. "And re
member." she added, gleefully, "If I win I
don't have to pay you a cent!"
"Ace la high," sad the post graduate
husband, unl cut a king.
The aniateur wife, after many mysteri
ous rites and ceremonies, severed the pack
with a high-handed sweep and turned a
nine.
For a moment her face showed a blank
understood at all.
One Some have thought the kingdom to
consist In right beliefs sound theology.
This Idea has led In former times to theo
logical tests, persecutions, and religious
wars. The very elements of the gospel
love, peace, purity and brotherhood have
thus been destroyed.
Theology is tha creature of Its age. It Is
man made, and represents our present un
derstanding. With Increase of light and
change In our understanding, must come
dismay. They Quic kly she pushed the cards reHttttetnenU nd better .tatements In the-
toward her husband.
"Best two out of three, of course," she
announced smilingly. "It's your turn.'
The post graduate husband cut.
What else was there left for him to do?
Also that time, and In the determining
trial, he lost like a gentleman.
"You win!" he exclaimed finally.
The lady seized tha regained dollar with
a vise ilka grip.
"You'll nevor say women are grafters
ugaln, will you-dear?" she asked.
"No," answered her husband solemnly.
"Never again!
ual boneflta of God's kingdom. The citizens
of the kingdom and tha members of the
church have a personal mission to every
troubled, suffering, erring, sinning brother
contributing forces, must readily weloome
all co-operation. The kingdom does not ex
ist for the church, but the churoh does exist
for the kingdom. All contributing agencies
in this world. The borders of the Christian exist tor tne ivingaom ana mu.i u. i
church do not Indicate the borders of Ood g , the Ideals and principles of that for which
kingdom. mey exist.
Some Silhouettes of the Sidewalk
BT BOBBIE BABBLE.
ology.
In the teaching of Jesua Christ there Is
no theological -system, but a broad and
expansive basis of eternal vital truths. This
essential truth never changes, although
our creeds muat now and then be modified.
Men may believe correctly according to
the light of their times and yet live like
devils, and surely soundness of opinion
and wickedness In life do not represent the
kingdom of Ood. Bald Jesus, "The king
dom of God Is within you." And again,
"Except your righteousness shall exceed
the righteousness of the Scribes and
Be Prompt in Answering Social Notes
In all matters social, as well aa business,
promptness Is essential. That queries or
demands naist be answered Immediately
In business, a girl learns speedily. If she
Is a working woman, because any failure
to respond at once brings her a reprimand
or worse.
manded, save sometimes by old friends,
and some girls never learn the Importance
of being punctual in accepting Invitation
or acknowledging gifts. In either case she
cannot be too prompt. This statement, ap
plies to all situations where an answer of
any kind Is required.- ,
A Query not Infrequently received from
girls who are about to be married Is, "How
soon shall thsy acknowledge their wedding
gifts?"
The day on which a present Is received
Is none too soon to write a note of thanks
' to the sendor. To delay Is to gtvs an ap
pearance of Indifference that the average
bride cannot afford to Indulge In. For ex
ample, one bride of thl winter, whose so
cial engagements Immediately preceding
her marriage and the number o gifts she
received both wete so great that all prea
ents could not be acknowledged before she
went on her wedding trip, wss considered
rude because not until a week afterward
did she thank the givers..
Chiibtmas presents anu birthday gifts
must be rsonded to immediately.
Invitations should be accepted or de
clined In the mall following that In which
they are retelved. To delay or to answer
Indefinitely is the worst poaalble form. For
example, a married woman and her hus
band eie Invited to a dlnnei this winter,
and sin'h a long time went by without a
nsponse that the hostess telephoned to
know If the Invttatlor. had been received.
It had breti. she Tin told, but the other
wemmn had altel in see If her husband
would be free to accept. The delay apolled
(Copyright. 1911. by the N. Y. Herald Co.) Phari.ees, y shall In ho case enter enter
Into the kingdom of heaven." The king
dom of God, then, does not consist In right
beliefs. In sound theological opinions.
Two Some have thought the kingdom' to
consist In belonging to the "true churoh." '
Roman Catholics, Greek Catholics, Angll-
cans, and other sects and denominations 1
have claimed the title, "true church.',' The i
time has been when such claims and the
efforts to enforce them have : created
strifes, persecutions and shedding of blood.
Such spirit and such deeds are fatal to the
principles of holiness and brotherllnesa,
love and service. The time has oome when
the liberality of love and brotherhood Is
blndlriv the denominations more closely to
gether. The kingdom of God Is not found
In belonging- to one particular church. All
churches when true to their, mission are
contributing agents to the advancement of
the kingdom.
Three Some have thought the kingdom to
consist In tha universal Christian church.
The church, however, does not make the
kingdom, for we are told in ReveKtton
that In heaven there will be no temple.
the dinner party, because the day follow
ing, the woman invited wrote to say that
her husband was unable to accept, and so
they must decline. It was too late for the
hostess to ask another couple to fill the
vacant places, and so the table was minus
I two.
But In social affairs she cannot be reprl- t Vnder such circumstances tha woman In
vited should have declined the Instant the
invitation was received. It is never Just
to the hostess to wait If there la the least
shadow of doubt.
ROSANNA 8CHUTLBK.
r
Curing 'Em Quick
J
Mid rumble of carriages, roar of carts,
Clang of trolley and motor shriek.
Groans of the "V" as It stops and starts,
Noise and tumult from week to week.
Firm In a tide that ebbs and flows:
Calm In the midst of confusion and din
There stands the giant whom every one
knows,
One of the finest Daniel Rlnn.
The timid old lady afraid to cross. '
The kiddles late on tbslr way to school,
The countryman with a beard Ilka moss,
Tha spinster lady aloof and cold,
The lad with a limp, the smiling girl,
The man who creeps on a crippled shin,
They pause and : wait at the crossing's
whirl,
They all depend upon Daniel Rlnn. .
And Daniel smiles in his kindly way
And points the passers-by east or west.
Downtown, uptown, throughout the day
With a nod to a friend and a passing Jest.
' But when a crook comes loitering by
A frown succeeds tha good natured, grin.
With an angry flash In his dear, oold eye,
"Just keep on walking," says Daniel
Rlnn.
The reckless chauffeur applies his brake
As he rushes over to Herald Square;
He knows full well what care to take,
And who Is watching lynx-eyed, there.
Cabby and carter and motorman.
Fat old coachmen and footman thin.
Ride past as rapidly as they can.
"Now then, go easy," says Daniel Rlnn.
And so from ths early hours till late
The traffio and wayfarers hurry past.
And Dan at his post keeps them' going
straight
Till ths long day's labor Is done at last.
Then home at his own hearthstone sits he.
With the night without and warmth
within.
Name and Address. BoJiool. Tear.
Florence Andersen, 127 Cedar St Train 1905
John I,. B.rKiuiet. 2520 Herco St High 1RS
Robert lilark. 2923 Spring St Inton ISO
Robert V. Bridges. 4042 Fort St Central Turk 1R9T
Henry Hrlnkman. 2602 South Twelfth St Hancroft 190
William I,a Clmpelle. 2711 South Fourteenth St . . . . Bancroft 190
Hans A. ChrUtensen. 2316 North Korty-aeventh St .. Clifton 11111 1R9
Glenfi Darby, 427 North Korty-flrst St Saunders 1900
Berr.ice Huffy. 1018 South Twenty-fifth St Mason 1904
Do -Is Duncan, 617 North Central Boulevnrd High 1896
Mtrarlte K. Fair. 4719 Parker St Walnut Hill 1904
Frederic Hsncork, 4002 Seward St. High 1897
Glen A. Head, 2824 Blondo St I-on ,.189
Chrlstl Hehn, 2103 Ohio St Lake 1900
Robert Hugh, Fiftieth and Brown Sts Long 1895
Lyle H. Hurt, 3534 North Twenty-eighth Bt Lothrop 189$
Harry Janger, 1826 North Nineteenth St...., Lake 1908
Marie A. Kelly, 2630 Patrick Ave Sacred Heart 1904
Fern E. Kiddle, 2214 North Eighteenth St Lake ..1305
Gertrude Koenlg. 136 North Thirty-first St Farnam 1901
Josephine Krangewskl, 1259 South Thirteenth St. . . . Taclflc 1895
Floyd Lawson. Forty-sixth and Chicago Sts Saunders 1902
Marjorle Marshout. 4811 North Twenty-eighth Ave. . Saratoga 1897
Edward M. Marrow, 3033 Emmet St Howard Kennedy . .1902
Rose T. McDermott. 4902 Pacific St Deals 1903
Francis McKenna, 2012 Emmet St Sacred Heart 1899
Anne C. Morlarlty, 2018 North Twentieth St Sacred Heart 1905
Lawrence Morris, 22,08 Maple St Lothrop .1899
Ella Mary Mullln, 2635 Chicago St... Central 189
Mary Napins, 1113 Iard St Holy Family 1899
James Norrls, 2908 South Seventeenth 6t St. Joseph 1905
Rosalie Pankowska, 1717 North Twenty-eighth St. . lm. Conception ... 1898
Hllbort V. W. Peterson, 2914 Dupont St Dupont 1899
Edward Pleuler, 1417 Pierce St Comenlus 1899
Porter Qulnby, 3 Davldge BIX High 1896
lJulls Rachman, 2802 Sherman Ave High 1893
Freida Reese, 623 North Twenty-eighth Ave ..Webster 1898
Herbert Rumraelhart, 711 North Forty-first Ave. ... Saunders 1903
Tony V. Salerno. 1421 South Eleventh Bt Lincoln 1901
Elsie Schwartz, 3333 Ohio St ......... Howard Kennedy. .1903
Hugh Stewart, 1406 North Twenty-second St Kellom ....1898
Irene Taucher, 1407 South Sixteenth St Comenlus .......1899
Wayne Taylor, 2212 North Nineteenth St Kellom 1902
Paul Valentine, 2236 Farnam St Central 1900
Paul W. Vaughn, 2108 South Thirty-fourth St Windsor 1901
Walter WahlBtrom, 3304 Cass St Webster 1904
Albert Wallace, 2662 Sahler St Saratoga 1900
Upton Sinclair, apropos of a recent dis
cussion of Christian healing, said:
"Plerpont Morgan, I see I dead against
any adoption of such doctrines by the
church. Well, Mr, Morgan Is undoubtedly
right. At the same time, what good do
drugs accomplish?
"A very lean man once called on a doc
tor. 'Doctor, he said, I want to get fat.
I look like a living skeleton.'
"The doctor filled a bottle from a demi
john, handed It to the lean man, an. I said:
" 'This will fix you' up. Take a teaspoon-
ful after every meal. At the same time,
cat lots of soup, red meat, starchy vege
tables, cereals and sweets, and take no
violent exercise. Five dollars.'
"An hour later a very fat man entered
the doctor s office.
" 'Doctor, he aald, I want to be re
duced.'
" 'This mill fix you up,' said the doctor,
filling another bottle from the same demi
john. Take a teaspoonful after every
meal. At the same time, eat no soup, red
meat, starchy vegetablea, cereals or sweets,
and take lots of violent exercise. rive
dollars.' "
"I hope they're all as well housed as ma-
Sure this Is comfort." says Daniel Rinn.
(Copyright, Wll, by ths N. Y. Herald Co.)
names 7'alte New Names.
' The Danish government recently found It
necessary to grant heads of families the
privilege of changing their names If they
feel so disposed without Incurring any
legal oosts. This is a necessary piece of
legislation, for the population of Denmark
is divided Into three great clans the Han
sens, the Petersens and Soerenssns, In
one town .of 25,000 inhabitants over four-
fifths bore one or the other of these names.
Many of these have taken advantage of
the new law and assumed more distinctive
names.
Ambitions Willie.
When Willie Jones was only eight,
Folks said hs'd win renown,
Declaring that he worked so late
You oould not keep him down.
But Will au airship built one day;
' He thought he'd win a cup:
Folks smiled and quickly changed their
lay
You oould not keep him up. Judge,
Polly Hitchin Her Book
1 vati't luilrvr 1 how we could have all ami I fed rrtid mad cause my hair wasn't
ii,. lie ui scnooi anu never i, iesii tnai mis exat tiy iiu.v . .nut that was all the Terror's
was kulnit lo lie t lie mot exiituii; day vv Hal
ever a. It eiin A ju.t like ewry nili. i'
II I il.clailou. ami I lial jusl hot laieiy
u.'.u Iriuiliti liuougli spt Ihtii; acissors W illi
ilir.e i i end two 's s.' when all of a sml
oi'ii In conn- the ticad iiiistrrs. und ihrre
nas a swwlilug and a i al sweeping
sort of a noiae. and a aic ll like hat's
in i hu K'fiii iiiachl.irs. and in walks a
leuudful lady. He ilieit was all silk and
sun ii. not a bit the sort of stuff that Kdle
buva what only looks like silk uhiUt It s
u the shop window and that a o'.il a yatd:
mi the lady's met have leen a ".i bit
more.
': it,- nd sell to and uta'ce a spveclt. a id
"ne M.a at she was going to kivo every-un.-
a Ik. ok and we'd all cot to write a
t... just about I he things we do and
think, and the best one Is going to have
a I 1144'. Stenia gueer like, seeing we does
J ust the same as eveivbodv else; but It s
nun to l a rare Job. for It has all got
i i le not and tiily like, and tn tiie sort
uf KnyMbh what'a in books teacher ssyt
wnit we talks down here Isn't Fnglish
it all.
llien up e all goes and gets the books.
fault for having hid my comb in the bot
tom of u coal box. and as we had 'art a
litmilied Cmniwd right In on top of it, it's
bound to be a week 'fore we sees that
comb again.
.1 .hi Mfoir the ledy went away she turns
miaul to teacher and shs something 'bout
the lasses helping up the nitaa. i. We
coulon't hear very well, and couldn't
itliiitlv understand; of course, we was the
the classes sitting there, but we couldn't
make out what the masses waa till Peter
thought of the babies. He aays as there
ure ir.at;es of them, and being small like
they natuially do sit down In the gutter
and on the kerb; but we were aorry when
Peler thought of that, for It muat mean
us having to carry them about more than
ever. We told kkil. and she aays It means
raising up thlr minds. Anyway thia won't
make yer arms ache ao, and Edle knows
all kbout that aorl of thing, 'cause she
goes to mitt on whenever she has a bit of
ne r on si.e wants to show. Bj we have
been trying it on all day, bul being mia
alonaiies to tables Is very discouraging
work Marjory Hardrastle tn Ccrnhlll Mag-aslne.
yew MAa rTX1 V Ki$mk cSsaa 4iJL v '""
' - - aafs:.siat . , . A
Undoing of Mr. Uplift "Cannin; f" ltlv' Ar'
11Y LAFAYETTE PARKS
"Dr. Lowell of Harvard, in a plea for the ,
uplift of the musical taste of college
students, strongly disapproves of the So
called class yell," ventures Mr. T'pllft, In
an effort to turn his son's mind away from
a ragtime melody he Is pounding out on
the Installment piano.
"These highbrows are always putting up
a big holler about some other guy's yell,"
complains Bon, hitting ths Ivories a parting
thump as he makes for the easy chair to
show his parent wherein he is wrong In
advocating musical reform.
"He contends that our musical expres
sion Is beoomlng feebler eaoh year," re
sumes Father.
"I never heard a college yell so feeble
that It needed a crutch to move down
Broadway, at that,' remarks Son. "Al
ways sounded to ma like ths real big
noise."
"Dr. Lowell declares the kind of music
college men have at their annual dinners
Is positively sad," argues Father.
"If the Doo wants to hear some of the
real sobby stuff torn out by the roots,"
suggests Son, "let him live In a New York
twenty family apartment house In the good
old summer time, when the windows are all
open. With pianos' renting at three buck a
month, even the unmarried skirts can af
ford to make life miserable for all the
neighbors. If he could hear one of those
dames sing 'Slater's Teeth Are Plugged
with Zlno." p favlng her own aooomppanl
ment with one mitt and curling her hair
with ths other, that Harvard highbrow
would certainly weep like a newborn baby."
"In his criticism." replies Father, gasping
for breath, "out friend make particular
mention of the lack of emotion In the pres
ent day popular music."
"I've seen It stir up enough emotion
among the guys that had to listen," retorts
Bon, "to bring enough bricks as an encore
to build one of those Bronx two-family
dwellings, with all modern inconveniences,
at 122.50 a month. No elocution teacher
could ever pull off more poses, showing
fear, dismay, hate, anger, revenge and so
forth, than strong men have been 'known
to exhibit when cornered 'at a birthday
party In a Brooklyn flat where all the little
rubber plants havtS'sung and played on the
one-dollar-down and two-a-inonth upright."
"I must agree with the learned Doctor
when he sharply score what Is termed
ragtime melody, which seems to be the
favorite form of song among young women
the air of one administering a stlnnlnB re
buke. "As for me." deride. Son. "I'd rather
have 'em sing In ragtime ilmn to chew the
rag any time. For one thins In its favor,
they hue It'-Ir voices quicker when burst
ing Intj si ng. Kv en the skirls, long holders
of Hi.' champ liKiial for toying with the
7
rag-chewing game, get fagged out by mid
night singing ragtime In a catch-as-catch-can
aongfest with one of those double tin
boiler pianos."
"One of the Profeeeor's chief complaints
In this connection," further explains
Father," Is the tendency of college students
to, Indulge in what It calls organised cheer
ing. He says It is bad for the throat."
"If ths Rah- Rah boys never took any
thing In the oheer line worse than a mouth
ful of yell, believe me, they'd never have
to call In a plumber to fix their pipes," as
serts Son. "I've seen several bunches of ;
those New Haven kiddos do the gridiron
rush down the Oreat White Way, looking
for good places to lean their elbows on to
cheer and get cheered. Most of 'em were
so busy naming their favorite melody to
the barkeep, they didn't have time to atraln
their voices with the rough stuff yell "
"For my rart," firmly decided Father. "I
am of the same opinion with Dr. Lowell,
thst the music of our boyhood days was
better than It Is now."
"We're growing better songs In the back
yards of New York every day now then
they used to," challenges rion. "and I ran
prove It."
"I must be convinced of that statement
to believe It." Father Insists. "I fail to
see how It can be."
"Well." fays Son. with malice afore
thought, "you never had any music fit to
an In the old davs and now we esq every
thing. A:ul there you are. fan you beat
It?"
I'd t her refused lo try.
Copyrighted, nil. hy the N. Y. Herald Co.)
January Philosophy
Infanta born early in Januaiy iiuim he
carefully nurtured, and sl.ou'il under no
circumstances be left om on Ilie lawn. or.
If you live in a city, pcnnltttd iu pIh
unattended on a crowded thoroughfare until
at lean ) months old. and not tlirn unless
you have him under control b,p mi aim of
a clothesline and a series of pulleys by
which he can ne removed f-om danger al
an Instant's notice.
lo not try l nvav a burglar horn In
January from his fill purposes by flatter;..
People born In this month ore not sis
cepllble to compliment, so thst wren tills
Individual Utrt'S up s.nlti "n!y slonushle of
your bed at mhinlt.i l inv no aticntlon lo
him at all, but i.nir aa louilly us you can
until hla lack Is turned, unen if you have
It handy) you may lilt him on the liesd
with a brick.
Women bom in Januarv are ss a rule
fond of expensive furs, but owing In eer
tsln prvnatal Influences which alwavs pre-
I is dawning time, tiny run be Induced to
I aim. less xfTiii'lve .lunations.
Jbiii'itry is a month whore Influence Is
alwavs toward ambitious projects, and the
I ilcslre to achieve Meat things and to render
'tneself famous conies lo the lowly aa well
t as lo the liitthly piared. Kven a modest
I bootblack Inn n in January will alwavs be
i found Hnxious to shine
The hli th I tones of January are white
onyx, rniiles anu (he moonstone, and they
should be repanled with reverence. You
should esocilly remember that If you live
In a glass house von should not throw
stones of this Kind under any circum
stances, since such an aci would smack of
ostentation, not lo say vulgarity. The chief
value of always halng one of your birth
stones In yoiii possession as a talisman Is
shown by the Invariable experience of those
who have never found themselves face to
ifa'-e, wKh hnneleae ruin so long as they
: possess one of them. Anne Warrtagtoa
vtii la the case f '.hose to whom January j Witherup, la Harper's Weekly.