Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 7, 1910)
TWO IMA): OMAHA. AYHDNLSDAY. DF.CKMItKU 7, 1010. 'Hie umaha Daily )vy. KifM'KH BY KUWARK HOSEWATER. V1CTOH ItOSEWATEK, Kl'ITOR. Kninfi at (maha postofllee as second ritM matter TEKM9 OK Sl'llSCIUPTlON. h'lndsv Bee, one yesr l-''t t-aiuiuav Hee, one vear Jib lallv liee (without Sundayl, on ear..4i l aily Hee and rSunday, one year DM-IVEFIKI) FT CARK1KR. Kvenitie- Pm (withnul Sundai ), per week c livening Kr ( w It h Hunda y t, pe.- week lc J 'ally Hee tuirliidinK Sunday, per week..Lc l'ailv Ilea (without Sunday). Pr wek..loo Addtehs all comprint of IrreRularltlea in duilvety to City Circulation Uepaa tmeiil. OKFJCKN. Omaha the Be Hnlldlng fcotith Omaha fV, North Twenty-fourth Ftreet onnoll l:luffe-I5 Krotf Street Uncoin O.'-i Uttlp Building t lili.aKO- HAS Marquees l-ullrilng N-w Ynrk-Romia 1101-llOH H . M Weal Thirtv-third htreef. , Waehlngton lla Fourteenth Ftreet, N. W . CORRKSPONDc-NCE. Communications relating to news and editorial matt'T should he addressed; Omaha Bee, tutorial Department. REMITTANCES. Rotult hy draft, express or postal older payable to The Bee Publishing Company, only i-ient siamps received In payment of mail account. i'eronal ecks "jwept on Omaha and eastern exenange not accepted. aTATKMEiVr OP- CIRCULATION, btate of Nebraska, Douglas County. s. George B. Tuachuck, treasurer ot The Fee lublioiihn company, b-ing duly sworn says tliat Hie actual number of full an complete copies of Tna Onl'y. Morning, Kvetilng and Sunday H printed Uurimt the inonVi ot November. llu, was as follows- 1 43,080 1( 43,850 2 43,800 17 44,320 1 43,000 II 44,080 4 43,870 19 43,760 t 43,830 20 43,900 44,200 21 43,910 7 45,330 it 43,530 43,210 2S 42,930 ' 64,680 2 4 0,630 10 46,470 , 26 43,740 11 44,640 2 43.150 12 43,920 2 7 43.980 11 44,200 28 43,280 14 43,360 29 43,340 10 42,950 20 42,830 Total Returned copies .1,320,880 15,420 Net Total . 1,306,454 Dally Average , .... 43,515 UF.O. II. TZHCIICCK. Treasurer. Subscribed In my presence and sworn to beture hie mis tfOtn day of November, IK 10. M. f. W AUlvKli, tSual.) Notary lubllc. kobkurlhera leavlnit cllr em- pornrlly should have The Be united to thrm. Address will 1 changed aa often aa reunriled. V- We predict a Jolly winter for Uncle Joe. Asqulth did not get all be asketh of the people that time. An English scientist says Dr. Cook is a bird. Yes, a wandering albatross. "Whore is the star of empire?" asks the Globe-Democrat. Central over Omaha. Tbey tell us there Is no toy trust. We have never regarded any of them as playthings. It would be Interesting to know just what the women of England think of the suffragettes. New York Is about to prohibit for tune telling. A direct slap in the face of the weather man. The one virtue of tho hlgh-cost-of-livlng was to minimize the popularity of those "Dollar Dinners." They have used an X-ray on Jack Johnson's mind. That is going after a man's thoughts with a vengeance. A movement is on foot in New York to suppress all unnecessary noise. Mr. Hearst is not one of the promoters. How fan congress get down to busi ness at once?1 It will take two weeks for the lame ducks to stop quirking. Perhaps Associate Justice Hughes thinks the tmosphere of the supreme court cool enough without shaving off his whiskers. New Jersey boasts of a wreckless railroad. Pshaw, that is nothing. We have scores of reckless railroads in this country. It la amusingly interesting that President Dla has called off that peace proposal. Shoot, if you dare, ou lnsurrecto. The western lawyer -uc : not being "prominently mentioned for a place on the supreme bench" is a pretty lonesome chap. ' Perhaps that parson who advocates Sunday base ball would be willing to go oat and act as "ump" to give the game a restraining influence. Being a senator Is a gay life. If you do not believe it give a look at Renator Burkett whisking up to the capital in his seveu-pnsseniier auto mobile. Oscar Hamnierstelu continues to hummer ' away on the determination to quit the United States. Of course he does not threaten to take the United States with him. The Pittsburg fiaette-Tiniea plain tively observes, "The appearance of the sun Is like an angel's' visit." Doubtless. But can you Imagine an angel visiting Pittsburg? The score seems to be a tie between the lords and commons. The latter a'e hoping the king will send in a new pitcher In the persons of enough pew liberal lords to give them the game. "Champ Clark was hit squarely in the f.tce with the rebel yell as he en tered th house." But he recovered fin'ii the blow in 1 1 mo to plancn over iv.t j tiie speaker's bUnJ aud smile. The Preiidrnt'i JIe?ase. The keynote of th president's mes sage Is sanity. It is' most comprehen-j sive In character, leaving scarcely any dptall of the government's business unmentloned. And in it all prevails a strong appeal to deliberate reason. It is progressive in tone, but radical neither on the side of reform nor re action. He urges congress, and very wisely so. to give time for the oper ation of the many new and commend able laws recently enacted before over loading with another vast supply. In no sense, however, does he seek by this advice to limit or restrict action on measures now pending or about to be introduced, which the country de mands passed and which he has pre viously urged. He recommends prompt action on all such; on every matter re quired by the Immediate necessities. For example, on the tariff, Presi dent Taft reiterates his demand for further revision to be accomplished schedule by schedule, so as to prevent serious disturbance to business and labor Interests. But he believes that, since we have left to the findings of a tariff board the basis for this further revision, progress Is not possible at this session since the board, oilng to Its formidable task of Investigation, has been unable to submit its report. He will recommend to the first session of the Sixty-second congress, there fore, this work of completing the tariff revision. He properly declares that, as we have approved the tariff com mission idea, which Is essentially non political, our representatives in con gress should carry out the principle by according fullest co-operation in making these additional changes. The saneness of this should be irresistible. The message ought to be reassuring to the business world. It pleads for stability and progress in home and foreign finance and markets, offering many suggestions of Immense value, it betrays an anxious concern for our merchant marine as an indispensable factor in developing foreign commerce. The urgent plea for establishing American banks or branches abroad as a further stimulus to trade will doubtless arouse renewed zeal in this far-reaching subject. Covering the Panama canal situa tion, the Army, Navy,, Interior depart ments and showing the good work of the secretary of state. In promoting trade as well as political relations abroad, the president re-avows his de votion to the popular cause of con servation, advocating the leasing of oil, coal and phosphate lands and na tional control as the basic principle. Effectively showing the advance achieved along all lines, he is able to disclose a comfortable treasury bra ance. Against the estimated expendi tures for the current year of $630, 494,013, he cites estimated receipts that leave a surplus of about $50,000, 000. The president would be Justi fied in taking more credit than he does for the rehabilitation of our sys tem of economy, for while be Is de manding still greater progress of this congress, he has already effected tre mendous improvement In every de partment. It Is to be hoped that congress will yield a ready and faithful co-operation to the president in the work he maps out for thiB session, so that as complete a cleaning up may be made before December, 1911, when the great task of further tariff revision will coma before it. Peary is Recognized. President Taft In his message to congress recognizes Captain Edwin Peary as the discoverer of the North pole and requests congress to bestow upon him Its most fitting recognition "of the great achievement." Of ficially, at any rate, this makes a closed Incident of the acrimonious con troversy that has waged about the heads of Peary and Cook. The un fortunate feature of the whole thing Is, if Peary did actually reach the pole, that Cook, who now confesses that he did not, should ever have appeared with his rival claims, for there can be n doubt that they were responsible, in part If not entirely, for the ques tion of Peary's success. It may be in time to come the world at large will acclaim Peary as the one man, who, up to this time, ever reached the pole, but even if it does not hia prestige is established by the official recognition of the government of the United States, the executive head of which re fers to his achievement as "unparal leled." For centuries Arctic explorers of many lands have tried to do what Peary la accredited with doing and he attained it only after ten years of dar ing adventure and untold hardship, therefore his country may well feel a I thrill of pride in his triumph Direct Legislation. in its annual report to the governor the State Railway commis3i6n sug gests that existing laws are sufficient for public requirements In the matter of railroad eontrol. In this will be found one of the best possible auswers to the clamor for direct legislation. It has been set up by advocates of the Initiative and referendum that direct legislation is absolutely necessary in order that the people may secure laws that are needed. The argument per sists that corporations control the ac tion of law-makiug bodies aud that no laws for the people can be passed. Yet here In Nebraska e find that two succeeding legislatures, one controlled by republicans and "the other ron trolled by democrats. bae enacted laws that in their operation are found to fully meet tiie requirements of the publii, that do control aud restrict I corporate operations and provide sujh conditions as give relief from abuses complained of. It Is Impossible that an) thing more could be accomplished by legislation Initiated by the people. Whst is true in regard to railroad control Is true in other directions. A careful survey of the various programs In other states, where the initiative prevails or where socialistic or other reform legislation Is suggested, falls to disclose a single advantage to the reople that Is not fully enjoyed in Ne braska. And all of this has been ac complished under the methods that are so roundly denounced by the advo cates of a change. This being true, the necessity for the initiative and referendum seems so remote that the wonder Is it gets any support what ever. Nebraska has enough to con tend with without being plunged into experimental reforms. Up to the King. Results of the British elections have not materially changed the politi cal complexion of Parliament. Pre mier Aequlth 's coalition party nation als, liberals and laborltes while it made some gains, failed of decisive majorities. Its advance Is checkmated by the opposition. So the government, while it has not sustained a defeat, has not achieved a victory that enables it to complete its program of reform ing the House of Lords without the royal prerogative. It is now for the king to say which side shall win. With him rests the final arbitrament of the itsue, the anti-veto bill. He has the power to create enougn liberal lords to force that measure through the upper chamber and thus deprive the House of Lords of its hereditary func tions. Whether the king will respond to such a demand remains to be seen. The premier has faith that be will. If the ultimate result of the vote Is what returns now forecast, Premier Asqulth and his ministry will be de pendent more than ever upon the Irish party as led by Mr. Redmond. That, too, puts up to these Irish leaders an Issue, the anti-veto bill. He has the safely be evaded. To be sure, if they prove true to their convictions, they will grant no concession until they have secured what tbey require to perfect their own home rule program. Here the situation becomes rather complex and very interesting. It ap pears to be a remarkable alternative that confronts King George. Either he must give his guarantee of addi tional liberal lords to override the wish of the tories and thereby give aid to the Irish nationalists, or withhold such action and apparently make pos sible the defeat of the government. His position, therefore, becomes pivotal In the long-drawn-out fight for and against the veto power of the lords, which, without his help, the opponents of that power have been unable to dis lodge. Workmen's Compensation. The supreme court or the United States has set an important precedent In determining that personal damage suits brought against corporations must be determined, in state cor.rts. This change in practice will servo to bring suits of this character under the operation of state laws and In this way is a long step in the direction of work men's compensation. It has been found impracticable to enact a gen eral law providing for workmen's compensation In case of accident and many states have passed local laws on the topic. The corporations have evaded these laws by having the suits transferred tcV the federal court. The decision of the supreme court now closea this avenue to the corporation seeking to evade its responsibility. In this connection It might not be out of place to state that of 195,000,000 paid by the corporations of the coun try to liability insurance companies $5'0,000,000 went direct to the insur ance companies, while $45,000,000 went to pay court costs, lawyers' fees and liquidated damages. It will eas ily be seen from this that not to ex ceed $25,000,000 of the sum paid by the employers for the protection of the workmen ever reached the injured men who were entitled to relief. It Is not that the American employer does not wibh to compensate as fairly as possible the workmen injured while in his employ. The payment of $95, 000.000 for protection Is ample of the employer's liberality. The system of distribution is radically wrong. The enactment of carefully framed com pensation laws will achieve the remedy. Another professional agitator has come to Omaha to tell us that we are sadly in need of moral cleaning up. Admltttng the fact, the visiting lec turer does small credit toocal agen cies for good which are contiuually striving against the forces of evil. Omaha has long faced the problems in volved and has made much progress In th( direction of good order and cleangovernment, and does not need the Aeolding of a professional re former to Incite Its citizens to effort in the direction of morality. Governor-elect Aldrlch Is making much progress tn the selection of his ! official family. Hut he will not soothe 'public unrest until he gives out the list cf colonels who are to shine jtbroigh his adminstratlon. This all ! important announcement rati not be made too :oon. i The comments on the privileges ac ! corded the cattle barons, who were j convicted of illegally sequestering the j public domain, by their Jailer Is rising In such tolume ifi 'may eventually reach headquarters iu Washington. Permitting persons to make a farce of their punishment merely because they ran pay the bills Is not calculated to Increase public respect for courts and their mandates. When the Omaha High school shall have been completed It will be a splen did keystone to the city's education arch. The schools of a city are Its best advertisement, and Omaha has certainly provided liberally in thU di rection. And now the democrats send up a howl that republicans In concrete are working to put them in a hole. This is unnecessary. All the democrat need is opportunity and they will get themselves in deep enough. The Cleveland Peace society has started a movement to have, all the churches lead in the enterprise of world peace as opposed to war. Good! Then we may expect no more bicker ings among the churches. Insurgent Murdock refuses to con sider anything before congress save the revision of the wool schedule. This persistency will keep him well In line for the senatorial toga he hopes to accumulate. Queen Elizabeth probably would open her eyes in astonishment if she could come back and. look upon some of these modern "Elizabethan styles." We are glad Dr. Cook got the chance to sell "my own story" for $50,000, for It obviates the necessity of taking up a collection for him. A National Asset. Brooklyn Kagle. President Tsft'e good temper is a na tlorral asuct. Tenderness is not weakness, nor la Irascibility strength. Iloadlnar Off Aerial Warship. St. Ijouis Globe-Democrat. A new bullet invented In Germany sets fire to balloons. The hope of abolishing war by mechanical Improvements Is apt to be cooled off by counter improvements. In Blark and White. Brooklyn I'Jatfle. "Instead of becoming dudes and fools," says Booker T. Washington, "our people are learning to become humble and simple citizens." That states tho case plainly in black and white. i.nnklns; Ont for No. 1. Cleveland Plain Dealer. In spite of the most progressive of pro gressive constitutions and resolutions, the first act of the Oklahoma legislature was to follow the nood old conservative cus tom of voting Its own salaries. 1 Solace for Seared Hearta. Kansas City Times. Standpatters whose hearts were broken on November 8 will be glad to learn that the Rockefeller Institute of Medical Re search has found a method of removing the heart, patching It and then restoring It without harmful results. JnmftH Unman Falling. Louisville Courier-Journal. James J. Hill says .that extravagance Is the evil of the ana. Why not of the ages? It was complained of when Egypt was young. It was a scandal in Rome. In England they onca tried to pas a law prohibiting any but the rich from owning carriages. , VIISS I1Y TIIR WAV, Goal of th Attn Nearer Than Kver Before. Collier s Weekly. Already, aa Kdlsnn tells us, we can read a word through thlrty-Klx Inches of solid wood. Of the unguesKed currents and forces which play through a little room we are only at the beginning of knowl edge. Within the present generation med icine suddenly leaps Into a new realm, an nexes the kingdom of mind, and assaults disease from a fresh vantage ground. Re ligion adds to Its old-time emphaels of in dividual rlehteoufne:js a new vision of so cial justice, calling on the fresh sprint; of science, without forgetting the old wells of sympathy, to Irrigate and fertilise pov erty and Ignorance. The law Itself, too oftn l'olt to be the enemy of the down- ! trodden and the tool of the astute. Is turn- iut; lis ubility toward shackling hostile manifestations of massed wealth. In creasingly, industry ,-eeeks the efficiency, health and good will vof Its workers. Wuletly, In a million homes, life la well lived, honorably ended. Education both widens Its own domain and spieadsrtaelf among the unlearned. The desire for peace at home and .abroad gains on men's un ruly impulses; Sectionalism and factions die out. Civil wars are forgotten. The goal of the oges is nearer than It was a thousand years aso; nearer than a hun dred ears ago. Our Birthday Book. December 7, 1910., Horace flc-ie., Iowa's only democratic governor tinco the war. was born Decem ber 7, In Aurora, N. Y., which makes him S3 years old today. He wa In the running for the demofatiu nomination fur president which Mr. Bryan Rot in l.ti, and Is still living In his heme town of Waterloo. Michael Cudahy. who died a few days ego and who; enterprise made the Cudahy Packing' company, would have been cele brating hl sixty-ninth birthday today. He was born at Callan, Ireland, and came to tills country in 1M, locating' in Milwau kee, where he started out a an emplcje In a packing he use in lSj". A. W. Jerferi of Jeffurls, Howell i Tunison, atlorneya-at-'.aw in The Bee building, was born December T. lSJsi, ht Uomansvillo. l a. lie is a graduate of the law school of t',i t'lilvenitv of Michigan, where he was an athletic star (lJring hla student day. lie has hevn deputy county attorney and was republican camlldattt for ronpresn two years anjo. Dr. 1.. A. Merr.am, phyirf.ciun, offlriiu in The Bee buildiuK. is celebrating his tlxty-:-venth bii inday. He was born In Malone, X. Y.. und kialuatel In irifdclne from Michigan unlvcrr.ty, taking po t-)iiad.iate work In Bellevue iustital. He ban been practicing In Omaha time I'M Jorjjen Mlehtteiren. suptenie secretary of the Danl h I.) i tlierhoo 1 of Ai.u rWa. la fi ;itr o'd toa. He te a nat've if Den mark, mining ! thia countrv ir. Iv II,. ae In tt'" pos tal erv1 e an luitrr a'T'er frr" tr'i years, ret rii'8 lu l'C2 to take 1:1s present p-,itlin. H. H. Crocker. ?alaiaut attirney for t lie I'iiIiiii I'acific railroad, was born De ember 7. IV.:. at ISaUw Creek. Mien. 11- prac ticed law fi.r inaio J fi" Hi Cedar KaiM.!-, Id.. cwiiiliiK to (HiSiia ni;rr t'ie 4w do; ai tmenl of the t'nluit Pa.lfic in Vm. Around New York Blpplea on the entrant of ! fa as on la the Great Americas Metropolis from Day ta Pay. One of the fortunate Imperfections of plctoral art Is the inability to depict Hie mortu.ige which la usually nailed to tho scenery. Plctotially a mortxane Is ln Wsible. mocking the eye of the camera and balklnpt the pencil of the artlsi, yet posesnlnit a grip on the prospect sut-pa.-slnH tn sleepless energy. Thise who havo been awed hy an actual view of the towering skyline of New York City or gained an Impression of It from pictures would have a very different conception of the Imposing spectacle if the nurtK"K blankets were drawn around the sernery as tljthtly as the conditions "nominated In the bond." TuMic records show that In l'flS there were lti.Kol mortgage recorJid In the borouKhs of Manhattan and tiie Bronx, totaling t.;n5,0On,CA). Including Brooklyn the total reached the enormous sum of MiW.ooO.oeO. most of which went into new buildings. "New York is the most heavily moi t-t-aged city In the world.'' remarks a icnl estate expert. "Cut this is no sign of loverty or being hard up. It Is rather a shrewd Investment against the chances of the future; a development of property that continually keeps a little ahead of the de mand for the same. "Its builders are ;eal estate men ho are also possessed of mute nerve ttian thope of other American cities. They have supreme confidence in the city, and In de veloping It use other people's money at a low rate of Interest." "It s all off." 8o said an American District messenger boy who came hurrying Into the .office of the New York Sun at daybreak. He re ferred to the messenger boys' strike. "Take It from me," he continued his con fidence, "de strike's a frost. AH de boys wants to got on de Job again, an' the com pany don't know they've been off." "How about you?" was the Inquiry. "Are you a strikebreaker or one of the regu lars?" "Ne? Oh, I'm both. I waa a atrlker for three days an' then when me money give out I hits C.s Hoffman feller dat's leadln' us an' says: 'How about it? Does I get some money for de folks at home?' An' he says, 'Nix on de money talk,' so I goes back to see de boss an' he puta me right back. Yep, so 1 guesa I'm a strikebreaker now. An' dey're all strikebreakers, too, Just like de expressmen. Me for de Job, with Chrdlstmas right up de street." Mrs. Antonio Jdartlnes, who before her marriage was Winnls Horn, tho newaglrl who was credited with having nicknamed Senator Piatt the "Kasy Boss," died from asthma at 206 East Ninety-seventh street recently. It was ten years ago that Winnie Horn reached the height of her fame as a newsglrl. The stand from which she and her sisters Bold papers was located under the elevated stairway at Sixth avenue and Twenty-third street. Among her patrons were Senators Piatt, Hanna and Deuew and Governor Odell. There were five Horn girls, all of whom at times sold papers, but It was Winnie and her sister Sadie who most frequently appeared in the newspapers through their aggressiveness and determination not to be ousted from tl-.elr corner. Senator Piatt took an especial Interest in the girls' wel fare and several times saved them from eviction. It was at this time that Winnie Horn called him the "Easy Boss," the name that clung to him until hla death. A certain young matron In need of a maid was talking to an applicant for the place. The girl appeared anxious to get the work, but past experience had made the house keeper nary. "Well, you go and get your reference," she finally concluded, "and come back to morrow." 1 "You won't hire nobody else?" Inquired the girl. "How can I be sure you will come back?" asked the woman. The slrl opened her pocketbook, gravely took out a (1 bill and thrust it on the young matron. "8oe, I leave you a deposit."' She rushed off before the other could recover from her astonishment and returned the same day with the needed reference. A llttld-known fact concerning New Yolk is that the second greatest city In the world nas a uniformed force of firemen numbering 4.2'K). Tiiere are In tho service 172 engine companies, seventy-three hook-and-ladder companies and eight hor.e wagons, also four water towers and thre searchlight engines. This Is a remarkable array of flre-flghtlng facilities. An Indica tion of the enormous responsibilities of the New York fire department la the fact that In one year It has responded to 13.i9 alarms. Connected with the fire depart ment is a fireboat fleet which protects M3 miles of the city's waterfront. Tho Infant mortality In New York when Nathan Straus opened the pasteurized milk depots was 6.5 per IXQ0. Last year the death rate was but per l.OuO. Mr. Btraua' great benevolence has been made the target of vindictive and persistent criti cism, which not even the statistics could silence. New York is to be congratulated that Mr. .Straus has reconsidered his earlier determination to close these stations, as the result of the unjust and lnnrant ebui.a that was directed against his fine philan thropy. PEOPLE TALKED ABOUT, i Tolstoi's achievement, as summed up by Howelln in the North American Kevlew: "Ho has given many of his readers a bad conscience the best thiMg a man can have." Mrs. A. D. L-ach, wh made the rare for rcprcbintatlve on the eqt.al suffrage ticket and was defeated and the only woman law yer in Hulllvan county, lnd'anu. bus buen chosen president of the Kulllvan County Bur association. August Bu'.ch. millionaire brewer, tiie other day called Ir.to bis effue lnls Den nl', for a number of years salea manager for the lJjach brewing concetti, and who lias resigned to nur the oil business, and presented him a check for $17.',i)j0. Joseph M. TimtcII. who has been op pointed to succeed thj late t'nited Slates Senator Clay, in one of the foremost p'.r.. lio men in GcorKla. Though not yet M years old. he has rerved his state in both branches of the legislature and a attorney Rei.rral and governor. A in.i n In Brooklyn who II. ed to be loO years olr!. Irft a cote sa inx thet one cause of nis lonxevlty was his playing un hour every day with ci-lldnn. 'ineie is aomr:h!ir in this cheerful and child like ph'.lnsoph.t If a busy bnd highly Ho:ltlsil I'liid .vurld would only taxe the ttmo to i'iad It oci. M A. Nil' Inud. 71. of Ka.t.-as tiny, who gave '. to '-harity last week and then wtnt into sfciiiHlon to citape praise re uptxared at Ills home afttrward. At ked why he fin- away thrte-foui the of his frrtijne. be salci: "I had a little money. I itvi so many eo;lf wurc off I'un i lust 1 iiii d iu help tntui a littls. That all." V VO " m entire' opposed to tKe use of alum la S i A lr B1,5nf Powder." W. CkmJlrr, Colombia Unh. t in if x toad tho Lahol For making quickly and per fectly, delicious hot biscuits, hot breads, cake and pastry there is no substitute for 1 . v CRCZAM 1.1131 Ki mi from mim m u MESSAGES OF MIRTH. "There!" eclalmei the literary boarder, replacing; the volutin on the shelf, "I've read the last of Dr. Kllot s five feet of books. Now I'm ready to tackle one of the Sunday papers. " Chlcaao Trlouuo. Apparently thi automobile had passed directly over him, yet he picked himself up unscathed. "To what do you attribute your mar velsous escape?" they asked, as he stood dusting himself off in the middle of the pavement. "To the fact." he said, "that my name's MacAdam." New York Times. "You do not seem much Impressed by fervent oratory." "Nope." replied Farmer Corntossel. "Did you ever notice a poll parrot's vocabu la y7" "What hai that to do with ItT" "The words a poll parrot picks up show that It's human nature to frequently be most emphatic, when you're say In' tho wrong thing. Washington Star, t "What Is your opinion of the initiative and referendum?" "It Is likely to prove very useful," re plied Senator Sorghum. "In helping to take my constituents' minds off the tariff." "Are you going to do your Christmas shopping early this year?' "Of course. You know It has been getting fashionable to do it early of late." Balti more American. "I'm sorry to have to bring this watch to you for tho third time this month." apolo gized the man with the fur trimmed over coat,' "but It has become magnetised again." "Yeu ought to take something for your blood." urumbled the watch repairer; "there's too much Iron In It." Chicago Tribune. Caller I've noticed a curious thing about dogs. They generally scratch themselves In the same spot. Bobby (joining In the conversation) Yes'm: ours always scratches hisaelf be hind the kitchen stove. Buffalo Express. "Your clerks stem to be In a good humor," remarked the friend of the great v i , ' , djp Mmr .mm mr atsi in .i mau s .... --oi . . .or Zi&tKjA jf Here's OUR Christmas Gift to YOU, sir! It's as pleasing as a gift taken right off the TREE, sir! 11 j) Will he accented from M . as a 97.1.00 payment on any new Kimball I'Uino or Player pur chased at our regular nttalilisbed pibcs before Juu.iry 1st, 1011. ThU check N tra naff ruble, hut no two concession check will he inlceiiiable ou the Name piano. Itetjccmablo culy at the stores of A. rlos;e Co., 1 .1 1 .1-1 5 DoukIus St., OnuJia, Neb., or 407 HriMul way, Council l.'luffs, la. I'lano Stjle Allowance, to ho rhr.rf-'''l to advertising Dollar tiiii-iH of Xu in her Date. . . V. TIIK A. turn a 151345 DougUs Or 437 B mid w: i y, . tnfw a -7 M Li $ Inform Yourself U-3 merchant. "Yes." replied tho great mer chant. "My wife has Just been In and It tickles thein to death to see somebody boss me around." 1'itlladelphla Record. "But, dad," pleaded tho eon. "sho'o s nice girl. Whet's your objection to my marrying? You were young yoursolf once "Don't remind me of It." said tho father overcome with emotion. "It was then that 1 met your mother." Cleveland Loadai Barney Old field w as speaking. ' Automoblllsts may have tho nam of slaughtering people, he said; "but they don t go to the Job like a butcher boy I saw the other day. "The boss butcher told him to de!lv some meat. 'All right.' he replied, 'Just aa soon as I cut Mrs. Brown's chops, break Mrs. Jones' riba and cut off Mr. Jenkins leg." New York Telegraph. IN BN0WTLUE. I liOilao Imogen Oalrter. Yo flakes that arc most Dike a thistledown host, Or sprume In the van of soma Infinite wave, What craft Is your mildness. Oh, inulUple Wlldnessl Bestows this all-quletlng sense of tho grave? For our life Is, I know. But a search in the snow Where boundaries change and tho trail die-' appears; Where blurring, impeding; Subduing, misleading, Drive downfall of moments and drift of Ute years. From a soft, from a 'y And Inscrutable sky. Time closes round, let him travel or alooM The Kama to the strongest An hour at the longest. And play-fellow powers abai! burr Ma deep. Yet, flakes floated down Moth-liKht on tho town. To batter the heart with tba ultimate dread. Clean chattels so pent mo, HlKht well yo content mo. Cool prnrlsnd. pure shroud, kappy, bed! ,mrf .0; fj & a W. W. KIMBALL CO.'S 573 C0XJ25S.0N CHECK . HIMHAI.I, & CO., I 'hit-ago, III. Validity guaranteed by IIOKI'K t., Omaha, Neb. lis Co St., Omaha, Neb. . Council Bluffs, Iowa