Tim P.EK: OMAHA. AYKDNT.SDAY. X(7VEMBF.I7 lfi. 1010. 'Hn: Omaha Daily i. FOt'NI'fciD BY t-DWAni) r.Ot t.WATKR. ICTOIl TtOPKWATKR. FDlTOn. Entered at Omaha pnr'toffic as eecond lass matter. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. Norday Bee, onr year t-aturiv Bee, tine yi'tr !. lKily lion (without Sunday), on yr.. .It Daily lies and Humify, one your, IpKMVEKK!) BY CARRIER. Kvenina: Hoe (without Sunday), per wool:. V- livening Ho (with funday). per woek 10c allv Hoe (Including Sunday), per week..l& Dall'v Hoe (without Sunday), per work... loc Address ail complaint of Irregularities in delivery to City Circulation Department OFFICES, Omaha Th Boo Bu.ldlng. South Omalia North Twenty-fourth ItOOl. Council Fluffs 15 Poott Ftreet. Lincoln .Ml LIMi Building. 'hlc-ago litH Marguotto liullrtlng. New York Hooiua liol-lloii No. M Went Tbirty-third Street. Vaahlnfm 75 Fourteenth Street. N. W. CORFiKPI'ONDKNCE. rommun catlone - relating to news and editorial mattor should be addressed: umaha Bee, Kd.tnrlal Department P.KMITTANCKS. ftcmlt by draft, eipress or postal order payable to The Poo I'ubllshing Company. Onlv j-cont stamps received in payment of Iro.ll accounts. I'orsonnl checks except on (n-.aha and eastern eachanKS not accepted. STATEMENT OP CIRCULATION. Ki.t r NrhmkL Douvlas County, aa.. (imr r. Tmpbuck. treasurer of The Be lelnir duly sworn ays that the actual number ot full and complete copies of The D11y. Morning. Kvenln and funday H printed fluting tbe month of October, UtO, M follows: 1 43.350 t 44. TOO 1 43.380 11 43,870 II 43.390 It 43,330 20 43.830 81 43,430 11 41,170 13 43.450 34 44.080 15 .43.30 2 43.370 17 43,890 II 43.400 21 43,050 DO 43,400 11 45,480 ..43.880 , .43,440 . .43.440 ,.43,760 ..43.630 ,.43.700 ..43,650 ..43.870 . .43.800 ..43.340 10 11 12 13 14 43.670 It 43.360 It 44,080 . . Total...-. 1,360,740 Returned Copies. ...... 4 11,33 Net Total. Dally Average. 1.338,39a , 43,174 GLO. b. TZSi.'HUCK. Treasurer. Pul. scribed In my presence and sworn to before ma this Slat day of October, 1910. H. P. WALKER. (Seal.) ' Notary Public. f abaertfeera lewTfasf th elty tea" porarllf . ahoald kav That Bee mailed then. A d dross will be rhans;ed mm often aa reqaested. Panama baa recognized As what? Portugal. To the Implement men: to our city. Welcome If the banks will not make loans. then we need not borrow trouble.- Texas land agents will not mention that October snow In their new pros pectuses, i "Uncle Joe" probably la right tho landslide speaks for itself. So what is the use to talk? ' No wonder Baltimore la considera bly up in the air over the fame It has attained la aviation. Out of the Newport bunch wears silk stockings. Cleveland Leader liow do you know? $100 Still, the establishment of a great coffln factory at Dallas, Tex., is no in dlcation that it is a dead town. It is not surprising that a Miss May Snow sweeps things before her in run ning for an office in Minneapolis. The story that the freshmen In certain large college have Infantile paralysis sounds like a sophomore Joke. Those Indiana authors who failed to vote for the Beverldge " men may now Indite a Xev lines of verseto tfce senator. After ' tbe Voting machines have done all the damage Judge Troup Is quite willing to have them reopened to make sure of it Sines the discovery of oil in Los Angeles things have been running along so smoothly that its population trebles in ten years. For the coming year our school board wi'tl have thirteen members. We will noon see whether thirteen is an unlucky number. Rev, Newell Dwight Hlllis pleads with the young men to stay in Iowa. But he did not practice what he preaches in this case. The latest news in tiw York is that Governor-lect Dig has repudiated "Doss" Murphy by declaring he will serve tlx a "whole people." Champ Clark continues to talk about that "golden" opportunity the democrats have, as If to rub it Into the once peerless sliver leader. Local physicians aro again com plaining J that Omaha la painfully healthy. : Somebody will have to do something to roil the water. If some girls would devote halt the lime to improving their minds that they spend on their complexion they would have more to show for results It shows Mr. Hi y an to be a short sighted man not to be running for an office at the only time when a demo crat could scarcely help being elected It seems that Walt bas had an un comfortable wait, but his number has finally been called entitling htm to slip Into one ot the upholstered chairs. The Council Bluffs city council has resoluted in avor of New Orleans for th Panna . position by a vote f four to three, That ought to sutUa it Do the People Rale? No cloud of dust ran he raised ao donna that It will blind the eye of Intelligent men to the fundamental truth tliat the people have the right to rule or to the simple fart that direct legislation gives them that right. World-Herald. This wise declaration Is or, a par with tbe symposium which Mr. Bryan has been running in bis Commoner un der the caption, "If the People Really Rule, Why Don't Tbey Get What They Want?" To the proposition that the people should rule no one will enter dissent, providing It mean that a majority of the people should rule and that the minority should yield, reserving al ways the right to try agsin. The In ference, however, Intended to be con veyed Is that the people once used to rule, but do not now rule, and that the only way to restore popular govern ment Is through the Initiative and ref erendum. Many people will refuse to accept cither tbe premise or the conclusion of this proposition. We have right now popular government In the sense of rule by majority of the people more effectively exerted than ever before, and the people have apparently had no difficulty In getting what they want when It is ascertained what the ma jority of them really want. Our re cent election is a most striking Illus tration that the people rule In Ne braska without waiting for the aid and consent of any initiative and refercn-i dum. When It comes to progressive legislation and reform 'measures the statute books of Nebraska, without the initiative and referendum, compare favorably with the statute books of Oregon, Oklahoma or South Dakota, which are tbe beaux Ideals of the di rect legislation enthusiasts. If the people rule In Nebraska and get what they want under their pres ent system of representative govern ment, the argument that tbe initiative and referendum are necessary to give ns popular government loses most of Its weight Labor and Coniervatism. In answer to tbe criticism that union labor Is ultra-conservative. President Gompers of the American Federation of Labor, in bis annual re port to that body in its convention at St. Louis, said: It la a fact that trades unionism In America moves on in its own pet and de liberate way. In so doing. It has outlived wave upon wave of hastily conceived so called broad movements that were to re construct society In a single teuon. And It has sufficiently good cause for con tinuing Its own reasoned-out course. Mr. Gompers was well within the bounds of the record when he denied that union labor was an ultra-con servatlve force, but a force that la far from radical. Radicalism and con servatism in matters of public policy are often difficult of distinction and rest after all on the Individual judg ment as to which they may be. But union labor does well If It is conserv ative In Its general influence. Power ful as It is, It would become a most dangerous factor to pursue radical policies. So long as those responsible for Its leadership are men of Bound Judgment and sane thought, men who measure . their conduct by the rule of other people's rights and not from selfish interest, there is not much to fear from the conservatism, of union labor. The fundamental principles of union labor are sound and therefore. conservative. They are generally ap proved by fair-minded people, whether they may approve all that is done In their name or not and where union labor comes at all into disrepute is where it has deviated from its funds mental principles and acted from a Belfiah standpoint. Generally It is the individual and not the principle that Is to blame. In this day of concentrated power, or organized Wealth, It is but natural that the forces of Industry and capital as represented in the wageworker should he organized, too, for in no o'her way could the scales of justice b easily balanced., It is a serious mission labor has to perform and it can only perform It by remain ing a strong, conservative force, de crying radicalism. Growing; Better Cropt. Proof that the propaganda of in-4 tensive farming Is bearing fruit is reflected in the Department of Agri culture's general review of the crop conditions. It not only shows a larger volume of farm products generally, but a larger yield per acre and, while this might be accounted for In local cases, otherwise, it must be due In great measure to the Improved meth ods of farming which are being generally adopted throughout the country. It Is gratifying to observe such con ditions. It shows that this campaign of education - for intensive farming is not In vain. It shows the Depart ment of Agriculture under the per sonal direction of Secretary Wilson and all the agencies it bas employed; that state institutions and farm jour nals and the railroads' educational trains and the corn expositions and all similar and allied enterprises are get ting real results. Our farmers have caught the significance of the refrain "Make two blades of grass grow where but one grew before" and the harvest is more crops and more money. Last season was believed for a time to be most unfavorable to good crops. It seemed so in nearly every section of the country and yet the United States raised the largest corn crop In U hlutory and produced vast crop In nearly every other line of agriculture and horticulture, breaking records in many rase, it cannot be doubted that the new and Improved ways of tilling tbe soil, selecting the s"vl, cultivating and Irrigating where Irrigation was necesnary were largely responsible for the results. These methods, that Is the right way of farming, can be relied on in many cases, perhaps tbe most, to counteract the deterrent in fluences of unseasonable weather. It means much that our farmers are learning In this lesson. ! Municipal Civil Service. ! The Omaha Womans' club has JuBt listened "o a paper by one of the dem ocratic members of the last two city councils explaining what excellent gov ernment foreign cities enjoy as com pared with the bad city governments we have to submit to here, due en tirely, he would have them believe, to recounltlbn abroad of the merit system and permanent tenure of office. All this Is interesting, although trite, but the picture of political spolls-monglng Is only partially applicable to Omaha. The good women should not over look the fact that we have already made a pretty good stride at muuicipal civil service In our home city and really scored remarkable progress. All our public school teachers and school Janitors are on the merit and perma nent tenure basis. All the members of our police department and all the members of our fire department are safeguarded by civil service rules, and if any of them fall below standard it is not because of the system. Tho strange part of It is that the only part of the city ball where the spoils game is still played strong is where the mayor and city council take a hand. There is no good reason why a sanitary inspector should be merely a ward heeler with a null on his councilman, nor why the street gang should be made up of political brooni wlelders and superannuated depen dents employed simply because recom mended by a councilman with the purse string. It would not however, require leg islation to change this order of things The mayor and council have It fully within their power right now to estab lish a merit system for all the places within their disposal, and if they pre fer to preach one thing and practice another they should at least shoulder the responsibility and not try to un load It on the law-makers at Lincoln. Commerce and Diplomacy. American diplomacy in China, as represented in W. J. Calhoun, United States minister at Peking, Is becom ing a vital factor, not only in cement ing the bonds of friendship, but In es tablishing substantial commercial re lations between the two countries. It played a decisive part in securing the ten Ann rinn .A r, 1. j 11. . uu,vvv,vv mu wi vuum uiroiiKii lae morgan synaicaie. 11 is dOUDtlQI, In fact, If the loan could hav Keen , negotiated without tbe l-"'-' assist ance of the American minister. This loan is a most ' bnsfactory transaction, first, of course, because it opens the way to larger commerce In the east, and second, because, de spite some natural Jealously on the part of Great Britain, it is. partici pated in by European powers. Doubt is expressed that the whole amount will go Immediately to China for the reason that. In addition to the large sum remaining in the United States to meet obligations, much of It will go to Europe to pay for the part of the manufactures which countries over there will supply as their share in the deal. Thus, while it Is an Ameri can loan, it satisfies the demands of good diplomacy by not ignoring other countries in its benefits. Fortified by such an arrangement, it can well be trusted by Americans to pass the peril of British criticism, which fol lows, as a matter of course, in the wake of every successful combination of diplomacy and commerce made by the United 8tates. England does well to recognize that this loan Is not made for sentimental purposes, but proceeds primarily from a motive to establish better markets In China for American manufactures. The British press alludes to the fact it,a. In... . - 1. . .. . , ". 10 ee greater outlet ince our domestic fields of consump tion are gradually narrowing down Of course this is true, and Yankee energy and enterprise may be trusted to seek and to find those new outlets and where better could we go for theni than to China, this country that has Just awakened to a realixatlon of its amazing resources and potenti alities? The nation that takes the lead In supplying China's commercial demands Is going to have the upper hand in commerce and the fact that American Interests were first to see and act on that, stamps them again as leaders In world business. Great Britain Is not patting itself on the back so much now over Its al liance with Japan as It was some time ago and yet when it entered into that agreement, which looked beyond mere friendship to commercial aggrandise ment the United States tactfully with held criticism. It is not strange, how ever, that both Japan and England are a little disturbed over the transactions between China and America. Whllt the United States has gained a mighty valuable customer, China has vastly strengthened it political a well as Industrial situation and has quite as much reason aa this country, to con gratulate itself on the enterprise. Some folks are expressing fear aa to the scene when Senator Cummins es corts Senator "Lafe" Young to the vice president's desk to take the oath of office. There nMd be no apprehen sion. bwuaWr Spooaer performed, that delicate duty for Senator La Kolletto without any disastrous results to either, and that illustrious precedent furnishes ample reassurance Senator Jonathan llourne, the mil lionaire member of the senate from Oregon, has offered to deliver his ad dress on tbe Oregon system of popular government to the Nebraska State Teachers' association without cost. Whenever a man has an axe to grind he is anxious to let anyone and every one furnish him an audience and pay ,1the hall rent. Colonel Roosevelt has received 18,000 letters and several hundred telegrams since election day, some sar castic in tone and some commenda tory. We have received a few our selves, but not quite that many. aBBBaBBBBBBBSBaaWaBSBJBSanBSalBBBB While some foolhardy American and Mexican citixens have been slash ing at each other. It is consoling to know that Uncle Sam and President Diax are still trying to be good friends, The Baltimore American says one third of Maryland's citizens failed to go to tho polls to vote. That is prob ably the third that will do the most kicking on the men elected to office. Someone asks what part of Texas would it rather give to New Mexico, which claims It is entitled to a slice. That part that polls the biggest re publican vote, of course. Why we should have a big laundry fire In Omaha at this time passes com prehension. The impression has pre vailed that all the dirty linen had been washed before election. Cilvc Them Tim. ' Chicago Record-Hi rlad. This years's corn crop Is the biggest aver produced In th United States. The democrats have not aa yet put In a claim for the credit of it. Causa and Kffect. St. Louis Globe-Democrat. On the edgo of winter the lea cream deal er are charged with contemplating the formation of a trust. This chilling an nouncement follows quickly upon the demo cratic antitrust victory at the election last Tuesday. Too Much of Good Tblog. Pittsburg Dispatch. Now there are signs of a democratic con troversy aa to whether It Is Woodrow Wil son or Judson Harmon who has qualified for the presidential finals two years hence. The democratic party generally feels that It could be happy with either, were the other charmer aevay. But Bryan indulges In solitary reflection that both of them are rather superfluous. Is tcrnn t lonal Kuf fluulam. Baltimore American. The Mexican whose lynching in Texas ha caused tension, between two nation shot and killed an .American woman be- cause she "spoke mean" to him. But this violent mean of teaching politeness will hardly tend to th .extension of interna t0nftJ courtesy no lean the victim' coun trymen reasonably complain bocaus. It roused rude passions on the first aggrieved side. MOW FAHE9 KOOSKVELTf Majority la New York C'oiuparatlrely Insignificant. Boston Transcript. Roosevelt's candidate wa beaten in New York, but the verdict is by no mean the overwhelming and obliterating one his enemies prayed, for or the New York news paper headlines and cartoon Indicate. A defeat of 03,090 In New York state 1 not anywhere near the beating the popular David B. Hill received at th hand of the colorless, old Levi P. Morton In 1&4, when post-tariff condition were much the same a now and th drift wa against the demo crats aa It la today against the republicans, When one considers the enormous massing of money and newspapers against Stlmpson and Roosevelt, It is to be wondered at that the IMx victory waa not much larger, espe dally In the city. Colcr there in 190H got a plurality about 10.000 larger, although he bad no such rlement of support In hi favor and It waa a republican year, Ho far a "up-state" is concerned the re sult show as our newspaper forecast predicted last week. There was no land slide, no overwhelming rebuke to Rous veil, dui a nerval wnicn hurt mm or and shows that oven h cannot under stand the force of a nation-wide movement Wilson' 26,000 victory in New Jersey, Fobs' 32,000 plurality In Massachusetts and tli election of democratic congressmen la Chicago r much more emphatlo con damnation of the republican leader In that region than Ik the (6,000 IMx victory In New York. . Nor is the republican lots in the states In which Roosevelt sjHjke any serious Indication of a alap at him. W know he cost Draper vote in llaaachu setts, but not to any considerable amount. It may be remembered that after the cam- ! palgu ot 1K Tom Read figured that in every congressional district in which he spoke and he journeyed far Into th west the republican candidate lost. Yet no one said that Reed did it. Roosevelt 1 certainly not banished into a cave by th New York result Undoubtedly be ha lost prestige by tils intemperate utterances and needless attacks on the stump, which hi warmest friends regret, but the republican party lias need ot him and will have still more peed of him in healing th wounds of today and preparing for success in 1102. Our Birthday Book oTfmblt is, mo. John Bright, famous Knglish orator and statesman, Wa born November IS, IHil, at Greenbank, in Lancashire. He 1 the leader who typifies the British free trade movement directed by the Cobdan club. ' Henry Gassaway Davis, who ran for vlo president in liKA on tbe democratio ticket with Judge Parker, la 17 year old today. He waa bora la Baltimore and becam a millionaire out of coal properties In Wast Virginia. George W. Hlnnian, editor of th Chicago Inter Ocean, wa born November it, I'M, at Mt Morris. N. Y. H at on tlm waa o th editorial staff of tb New York Bun, taking charge of tb Inter Ocean In ltSC. Albert Watkln. lawyer and historian, of Nebraska, waa born November IS, ISIS, at Worcester, Kngland. He took up General Mortoa'a history of Nebraska after th death of Mr. Morton and carried It through to completion. He waa Just beaten aa a candidate for slat senator In Lancaster cou nty th other day Robert L, Carter, manager of the Carter sheet metal works, is (S year old tuday. He wa born at Sparta. 111., and ha been In the sheet metal buamea In Omaha aince Beaten, but Happy Bow to Be Happy Though Xnocied Out Expounded by feeaator Chaunoey K, Vepew. Foreseeing what was coming by the ad vance tip from Maine, New York's senior senator, Chaunoey M. lVpew. I not de pressed by the happening of the exacted, but wears a smile that neither cuxtnni stales nor time contracts. The senstor did i not tell the. boys In the trenches what his fears were. InHtead he cheered the new as well as the old Riiard with vocal pictures twice a day during the campaign, inter spersed with the strong spice of argument, of which he Is an acknowledged master. To a reporter for the New York Kvenlng Tost lie expretsed hi feelings on the, threshold of retiring from public life, to which he ha given fifty years of service. "1 am the happiest man In tlia stata of New York," he said. "I am 77 year of age, I have been fifty-four years actively In politics and I think I can say that my ambition have been reasonably satisfied. Inirlng the past campaign 1 made sometimes two speeches night, once talking for an hour in the rain, and the next morning my voice was In as good condition a ever. My health Is good and my desire af years, to be happy myself and to share that nappiness with others, has been fairly well satisfied. When I went to Washington, 1 took the largest house that I could find, and kept open house all the year round. It wa not that I sought anything In particular, but the senator from New York Is expected to entertain; moreover. I enjoy the social side of things. And, fortunately, I could afford It. It all counted, too, in the achievement for this state In my twelve years as sen ator I obtained 135.000,000 for New York har borand I was able to accomplish more despite the prejudice against the state than many of the men who were filling the pages of the Congressional Record day fter day. "When we were trying to get the uptown postofflces for this city, Allison, who had charge of the appropriation bill, was afraid that he wa going too far, and would not hear of the large addition that I asked for th New York buildings, much needed though he admitted them to be. He was especially anxious to avoid criticism by the democrat and declared If I moved to amend hi bill on the floor of the senate. and the democrats attacked him it would hurt him at home. Before the bill came up, went over to Gorman, then leader of the minority, and he promised me his support purely on personal grounds. When the bill came up and I moved to amend, Allison turned to Oorman. ex pecting, of course, that he would object. To his surprise and my amusement the minor ity leader said that he favored the appro priation. It was the personal equation that counted In this and ninny other matter of a pimllar nature. On the other hand, I sat beside a New England senator one day when one of the members who had been filling the Record dally with long speeches, intro duced a bill. It wa a good measure, and I voted for it, but to my surprise the sen ator voted no. " 'How do you square that vote with your Puritan conscience 7' I asked. 'If that man Introduced the Ten Com mandment,' waa th reply, 'I would vote against him.' Looking back over my fifty-four years of active political life I did luy first stumping for Fremont it ia pleasant to re call that I have known fairly Intimately every president tilnce Lincoln. Grover Cleveland was one of the greatest and ablest. It is interesting to recall that In 1S88, when I got ninety-nine votes for pres ident, the delegation from Kansas, Ne braska and Iowa came to me and said that Inasmuch a New York held the key to the situation New York would have to get the nomination If the delegates from that state Insisted upon it At th same time they declared that, aa In their states the hatred of the railroads was strong, they would be unable to carry them if I were nominated. They promised to hold the states for the republican party forever If I did not run. I withdrew and four years later they all went democratic." The senator apparently thought thla mor of a Joke on Kansas, Nebraska and Iowa than on himself, for he laughed heartily and remarked: "Year ago I wa told that I would never succeed in public life if I did not hit back but lilttlnj back never did seem to me worth all the rancor and bitterness that it entailed. The time that you spend In get ting a man down after all I a waste of energy and even health." 'And the future?" fror myself,' At seventy-seven 1 am blessed with health, energy, a capacity fur work and the ability to enjoy It There was a Buffalo hotel keeper who some year ago came to the state convention, a fight ing candidate for state treasurer. When, after a hard battle, he waa defeated for the nomination some one aaked him what he was going to do. " 'I'm golug back to Buffalo,' he said, 'and keep hotel like bell.' "Well, I'm chairman of the board of dl rector of the Mew York Central system, and, like' my Buffalo friend, I'm going to be chairman like hell." TWO Ol'POSI.tU SYSTEMS. Heurespatatlv tioversiuieiit and tb laltlatlva and Referendum. St Louis RepubUc(dem.) The inauguration of the direct nominat ing system waa the beginning of a period showing, among its other Interesting fea tures, a determination on the part of th people to adopt device giving them a more direct participation in decision affecting publlo affair than they had had under the political machinery of th past and under th representative theory on which th constitution were exclusively framed. The vogue of the initiative and referendum has spread rapidly and that of the recall only a little' mor slowly. It mean the estab lishment of new tradition governing the work of lawmakers and th decision of th court. Th representative principle, which la a baalo on under our system, and the Initia tive and referendum plan of direct partici pation are completely at variance. Whether a permanent application of both can be made without 1 11 harmonious result re main to be determined, for the modifica tion of th former by the latter 1 still on trial. Tb practical aa well a theoretical difficulties are most formidable. Missourlan know th difficulties of pre paring the electorate for an Intelligent discriminating vote on eleven abstract propositions. What chance wa there for such voting in Oregon, where the electo rate' as required to decide on th merits of thirty-two proposition eorue of them particularising in all th detail and length of a statutory enactment and to Indicate at th poll It Judgment In a manner that would satisfy all the technical require ments of th Intricate ballot law? Sara Tblaar. Denver Republican. Proof that the world la steadily growing mor charitable ia presented In the readi ness with which man forgts ante-eieution 1 prophecies and refuses to hold tlieui against Jtb fuakei of Ihsuv A lor nurc Ioo3 mlcKlalina and national ioou laws 1 r lwaWEBr - nr - CREAM Arrinrsnmirnm No Alma No Phosplialea Be on your fraard. Alnm row- tiers may i prl 10 r one PEOPLE TALKED ABOUT. Some indignation is felt by a New York receiver because his salary has been cut from 75,O00 to 100.000 a year. In hi farewell speech at Halifax. T. P. O'Connor pleased the Canadians by pre dicting that one of these day the lmn n Ion will have a population of 100.000.000. "Lend no money to others. Indorse for nobody; give what you can afford to. and lot It go at that." might b In the proverbs of Solomon, where. Indeed, It la dimly adumbrated. The advice Is from the will ot IHVld Kohn of New York City and goes with a $100,000 estate to- his heirs. The late Major James Downing, while hunting In Colorado forty years ago, shot and killed a buck elk, whose head was one of the most perfect ever seen In the slate. The head wa seized by State Game and Fish Commissioner T. J. Holland because It was being shipped out ot the state with out a permit. Dr. V. D. Martin of Tulsa, Okl., the old est practicing surgeon In the United States, who 1 attending the clinical convention of North American surgeon In Chicago, per formed an operation in th clinic that de monstrated his sureness ot sight and judg ment, In the presence of a large gallery of young physicians. Dr. Martin 1 89 year old. SAID IN FUN. "Do you tell your wife everything you do while she Is away .'"- No; tho neighbor attend to that. Houston Post "You manage to keep your husband home at nights," said one woman. "lei. replied the other. 1 am the only person of his acumilmance who will listen Pfltlerrtly and restioetf ully while he tells exactly how the election happened." Wash- ington Star. "(Your house wa robbed last night, was It. little girl?" "Yes, maim. "Did the burglars take much property?" "Yes ma'am; I heard papa tellln' mamma they got all th jewelry he hadn't told the assessor about" Chicago Tribune. "You attribute your defeat to a land slide?" Only partially, replied the statesman. A number of bricks that caught me The bathroom, where tfle walls, floors and enameled surfaces suggest cleanliness (( - Swift's ' Pride Cleanser . Cleans Scours Scrubs Polishes At your grocer's V Try it IOC ;fr- Per ' Can v (j jy Uiiyiiio yiiio I I . . r7r-.,.,,..-aa $3 Rcn.s One of Those dearly I.'er WKKKK ItllOK, Upright Pianos, value 1160, In mahogany case. MAJKST1U Upright Piano, value $185, lu handsome oak case. IU NSKLL LANE, Upright Piano, value $165, in elegant oak case. WHKEIiOt'K Upright Piano, value $155, In beautiful quartered oak rase. lU'SH & CiEKTS Upright Pianos, value $14 5, rosewood pos. HC1IMOLLEU it MUELLKU Upright Piano, value $115, la hand.-.ou.o oak case. SI.VGKH Upright Piano, value $125, in an up-to-date oak cao. OHE DOLLAR PER WEEK Buys any one of the above piano tool and scarf included. A. nOSPE CO., 1513-15 Doughs St, 1 I t ome and Hear the factor all stale 1 " - 1 ASAw Known y iar or ze. tM ccut CJX squarely In the neck were- too perfectly aimed to be directed by a mure tiiihenviil of nature." Washington fctar. Finally the taciturn boarder spoke u,". "These 'substitutes for coffee,' " he said, "are like substitutes for religion. They are useful In one particular; they serve to show the excellence of the real thing." Chicago Trlbuno. Motor! on, rather late laved you? Sr. You kept the ra.r oil lust evening, son. hat de- Motorton, Jr. Molorton, Sr. Puck. -Had a blowout, dud. -H ni! Tiro or rouUliouse?- 'And you really think, doctor, that you must perform the operation today .' "Oh, yes. There may be no necessity for It tomorrow." Cleveland Plain Dealer. Romantic MIks Don't you love the long fringed and wide spread beauty of tliu chrysanthemum? Athletlo (...111 Sure. It reminds me of the hands of the tout bail team. Ualliniois American. TIIEY ALL LIKE PIE. This Is a mighty curious world. With curious people brlniniin". But you'll agToe that men folka b Much curlouser than women. You can't find any two alike. However hard you try. Except their taste, In Just one thing They all like pie. The man that sails In an aeroplane. 1 he black-iaced man on the dray. The nillllona.ro In his touring car. Or the tramp that Is beating his way I All these get different viewpoints Of life, and may scrap 'till they die. And dixacree on a heap of things. But they'll all axre on plo. The price of butter and kk may soar. And bacon and ham takes a cl nib, And chicken and turkey may float out of sipht. And stay an Indefinite time; Greedy trusts may control the prices ol those. And men to prevent will not try, But 'twould go pretty hard with the syndi cate man Who attempted a corner on pie. There must be somethln' plncned into th crust. Or sifted into the flllln', Or maybe Its kneaded In with th dough. That Is somehow comfort InsUlUn', Whatever it Is. I cannot tell, But I'll wonder "till I die Unless someone this riddle shall solve Why do men like pie? Omaha. B. X. T. llOl'IKHU Ilnyrr Piano. ;E3