19
Jg HUMOR $
Macro
MTTLE SIMON TO TOE WIE END
Austrian Opossum Fur Set
Boss of the Establishment Hi
Common ponf tss fho
Kctitiimiirtit for
.Wklii(.
-J
THE 151 : Tr OMAHA, SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 5, 1910.
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"The ITIrrlena l.f-nnvy ."
jonn jf .', : i rnrr j ifuvo with you: mv
p"ficp I give iititn yon; not us Ihp world
Kiveih. glvp I unto yon, let not your
hurt be iroulilcil. nelliH f let l be fearful.-
Whst In their In nil ttiln husy world thnt
men need mov thutj thtM! Tired, care
worn, nervnuw wp want peace and rest.
The problem la how to K' t It. In leav ntr
the world e ery man Iphm-b sotneth ng to
the world. It may he honest property, the
I distribution of which In to lighten the
j burden nnd aweeten the Uvea of liia poa-
I whooe brquert Is to become the glided
! m aery of In possessors. It mny be lm-
ply u bHd chartK ter. whose temperaments
i nnl trnlts. through the laws t.f leredltary.
are to "hllKht the chlhlren unto the third
and fourth generation "
Temperaments and tendencies, beinp hid
den In some, will oreak out a tain in oth
er. I.lko on of thoto underground rivers
of Kentucky, whose watera come to tht
aurfaoe for a few miles, tven dlpp ng be
neath the rocks, wrestle tholr way throuh
subterranean passages and break out m.les
bejond.
Or a man may bequeath as a lecacy only
a good name, which la belter thnn
"precloi.s ointment and mora to be chosen
than great rlehoa."
In leavlnx the world .Tesus Christ had
aomethlnir to leave the world, not merely
a good name, though that waa more ex
cellent than the name obtained by anuria.
Nor waa It, thank Uod. that kind of prop-'
erty that might be converted In dollars and
cents, aa some th ef would have atolen It
long ago, and you and I would not have
seen a penny. In his abyesmal poverty the
Pon tf Man had not where to lay his head,
yet he left us an estate nf infinitely more
value than that of landed proprietors, mul
timillionaires or kings, earthly, "those welt
favored little clay gods and tin Idols."
We have here Cijrlat'a last will and tea-
This fur aet of Austrian opossum ladder piece la accompanied by a soft, round
oft and rloh and many of the Parisian muff. The hat la one of th new, queer
dreHStnakar ar ualns It to trim velvet "awlrl" turban made of gun metal gray
costume and wrap. Th cape-like ahoul-. satin, twisted round and round In folds.
Brightside and His Boy
"Touching Touches for
Campaign Cash," Their
Latent Tabloid Sketch.
1
Rev. T. H.
'Westminster
MoConnell, Paator of
rreabtrlaa Charon.
lament, which describes His estate and
tells ua (something of our inheritance:
"Peace I leave wtlto you: my peace I give
unto you." This legacy was written In
verm.'lllon color., "having made peace
through the blood of the cross." It waa a
document written by the Son of Uod and
witnessed to by eleven men. It became
valid upon the death of the testator. Then,
as If remembering that wills were some
times contested and broken and the testa
tors, being; dead, were powerless to ex
ecute them, He rose from the dead that
He might become III own executor. He
died to put h: will In force. He rose to
see that It was executed. He was de
livered up for our trespasses and was
raised for our Justification." And to as
sure the disc plea that they would come
Into their Inheritance, He says: "Let not
your hearts be troubled, neither let them
be fearful."
What then Is this peace? We all desire
.t. hence we must know shut it Is. 1'eace
to one of thoe New Testament words that
staggers under the weight of it own mean-
'ig. It is the only thing, to my present
knowlrdKe, of which It can logically be
said, "All may have It, and yet each may
have It ll." Everyone of ua may have It
and jet each one may have It In fullness.
U Is laden with unsearchable riches. Th
poo of (rod poured Into the heart pro
duces that blees.'d soul calm end give one
lh Iran gull assurance of salvation.
It la a vital peaca In which there la no
torpltuuo of conscience, or alugglshnesa of
feei ng; a ble sfu, peace In which there la
tio misery, no remorse, no sting; a con
tentful peace In which submlsslveneea cush
lions the fretful disappointment of life; a
holy peace In which there are no ravenous
appetite madly demanding an Impoaalhle
gratification, a reg.i.int peace which
brings into subjection to Christ not only
our every thought, word and deed, but the
whole of that troubled kingdom which
each one of us carries about within him
self, passion dragging this way and con
science that, a hundred deslrea arrayed
against one another, inclination here, duty
there until the King of righteousness, who
Is the King of peace, unties the heart.
Yes, thla peace which Christ himself en
Joys la an Inward eatate which flood can
not overflow, fires cannot burn, and death
itfelf cannot destroy.
Chri'it's peace la a peace amid conflict.
He did not seek It apart from the world.
He was no recluse with hollow-eyed ab
stinence or lean despair. He did not shun 1
society or the market place, nor did he
'ay his head on luxury's soft lap, or tread
the primrose path of dalliance. - He waa
acquainted with hardship. His was per
manently the strenuous life. His whole
career was crowd. d with temptation, jet
crowned with victory. k
Get right with God. Kxpell from the
heart every unclean thing and from the life
every offensive thing. Only then will the
Ixrd of peace give you peace at all times
and In all ways.
LY y DOLL
pIJamme0i
.BY M.F
comma m nnattf rctx mm nus msm met xmu m
BT LAFAYETTE PARKS.
"I hav received a lengthy printed Cir
cular entitled an 'Appeal to Patriotism "
bagin BrlghmWU. whan hie youthful son
and heir has ensconced himself in the
eaateat chair. Indicating hi wlllingnesa to
Illuminate dark problems beclouding his
doting parent' hoi lion.
"Don't fall tot any of them political
campaign touches, l'op," severely caUUons
Bon, Igniting a torch. "If you happen to
hav any loos change that's burning a
bole in your pookst. Juat com aorosa with
It to your little Willi."
"Any subscription, no matter how small,
will be gratefully received, the letter
reads," continues Father.
, That' what the cripples all say," ex
plain Son, "but If you slip 'am a nice
new Lincoln penny inatuad of a dime
they'll hand out a Una of curse that will
make th witches' chorua look Ilk a con
vention of Sunday school teachers. Don't
tUv for a minute tnat kind of con talk
and don't try to allp 'em a two-dollar bill
In letter, because the office boy grab
off thoee kind of contributions for car
fare." ,"I had thought," aa Father hesitat
ingly, "of making a email donation Juat to
show my Interest in the party I have voted
for now going on thirty years."
"Tour small strip of long green might
put UP th district leader' handsomely
colored lithograph In half a doien more
tor window, but outntls of that I don't
where It would v th dear old party
any pain." volunteer Son.
Thy tall ma here." Father resume,
"that th state Is In great danger from
it anemleae and th force of corruption,
and that perhap my contribution will be
the mean of saving It from the hands of
raucala who seek to overturn th govern
ment," 'Those guys tnat try to piouh off the
pee-puis cash to finance their, own little
game ar uertaluly Uiare wlib Uia super
heated atmosphere," comment Sou. "It
they'd only swing a lltU of that strong
rm atuff In tholr own private business
maybe they wouldn't hav to hold up the
public on this everybody-otdp-In-and-belp-ui
plaa or the country will go to th dogs
in the Empire Btate xpreas."
"Till year," piaiuuvely complain
Father, "both the old line parllea have
honored me with appeala for campaign
funds, regardUe, aa one letter put It, of
party,"
"What do they care about your polltlca
aa long a they pry Ioom a chunk of your
aiaxumar" queiie lion. "If the DulnM
f th Onauclal committee to get the
. saBBW 1 - II
THEY WANT TO GIVE EVERYBODY A
CHAMCC TO a'HABft IN THS WCRX .
money. They let the apellblnder get your
vote If he can."
"They explain thla by Baying that they
want to give everyfcody a chance to share
In th work," continue Father.
"Those political eommlttees'are all oraxy
about work in Juat the same way," retort
Son. "Their middle name la Work, but they
use great care when algning their name
only to Jot down the Initial so the bunoh
won't gut onto their little lad."
"One thing about theae appeal that
aeems inconsistent, Ib that both warn ma If
th other party la vlctorloua at the polls,
th buslneaa of the 'country will become
paralysed," aaya Father, dubiously refer
ring to the documents.
"Take it from me, Pop," advlae Bon,
"that whichever side win, aomebody wilt
get paralysed, but It won't be the country.
The boya that pull off th winning trick
will gather up what' left in the collection
baaket and proceed to blow It In to cele
brate another gloriou victory won for th
pee-pul and by the poe-pul. If you aend In
your money quick It might help to buy a
quart of flxs."
"Appended to on of the letter ar th
name of twenty-three men to whom I may
nd money," puaxlea Father.
"Skldoo!" exclaim Son, "That' my an
swer to these touching touches to help
aomebody else get a fat Job without huatl
Ing for It."
(Copyright, W10. by th N. T. Herald Co )
Thursday Ho actually dared to kiss my
hair. I leaned over to pick up a nook, and
he klased the top puff. It waa on of thoae
new aviation puffs, and I was so furious I
almost tor It off my head and threw It at
him. Instead ot owning that he had done
wrong, be laid the blame on my ear. and
even had to drag In a poor w sp of hair
that growa In that vlclnliy. It aeems. that
it was that that started the trouble.
I miKhrave knon It as my own hair's
fault. I adml. the oar waa probably some
what In fault also. It likes admiration,
and I dare nay turned pink with gratifica
tion In finding U had secured the attention
of a somewhat attractive man.
Still, I waa frightfully angry with Jim,
although I hold myself to blame for It. At
tlmea I seem to hav very little control
over my eyes ur mouth or hair. In aplte
of my careful training, they act like per
fect Idiots occasionally. What can I do? I
myself am a most quiet and dignified per
son, perfectly well behaved In every way.
I could alt beside a handsome young man
for a whole evening and converse about
learned auhjeci or at least try to; I could
do soma plain tewing cr read an Improving
book to him, but I no sooner get started
talking learnedly than my eyea began talk
ing In the mort fo llsh way possible. The
things they say are absurd.
If I began reading something sensible my
mouth usually become quite unmanage
able. I have known It to begin to laugh at
something very serious. I have often had
to atop reading and let It say th frivolous
Idlotlo things It was trying to, Wien. ns a
last resort, I pick up th sewing and at
tempt to accomplish a little in t..al .me, .n
4 quiet, refined and womanly manner, I
hav discovered that even my hands had
Correct Wording for Invitation
to a Bridge or Euchre Party
A bridge or euchre party la a plevnt
form of entertaining friends In th evening
and entail but Ultle effort on th part
if a boat, for units h ha four tables
pnse are not uuueacary, and th supper
erved may be simple ur elaborate, a aha
olooaea.
While ft I permissible to Invite friend
by writing the date and hour on one's
visiting card, it 1 not reaily good form
when both wen and women are aaked for
th evening. For a formal evening affair
a pot should be aeitt and the communica
tion should be brief and read something
like thll
aly Dear Mr, ginlih WtU not you and
Ur. Smith play brldis with ua on Toee-tay
evening, the tuty-.ifui T We are asfci'ii
friends te come at half-past eight. ar.J
sha.il hope to nee jou tiu:ally,
M Alt Y ELLK.N ilKOWN.
uch a sola require an lmuit-uiat an-
er, accepting or regretting, that a heli
ces may know without delay whom ah
la to expect. Th answer may read:
My Dear Mrs. Hrown It will glv Mr.
hinith and m great pleasure to accept
jour kind luvttatiun for bridg on Iue
dav evening, the tcnt -f.fih. at half-paet
ialit o oJo. a Most cordially.
.iXiiA.bl.TU LoLiafi EMITU.
In arranging an evening of card a
noatcus should always regard herself as
an extia and invite enough to play.
omen w ho . entertain much know to
their sorrow that It la not unusual for one
person to stay away through illness, and
so the hostess must play and thla would
obvioualy be Impossible If she has not fig
ured herself as an extra.
Table ready for playing should b In
their place before guest arrive, and a
name card at each place or written on th
cot will av confusion.
It la customary to wait until all gueate
arrive before atartlng th game, but if
all wait for Juat one, th hostess may glv
the signal for play and tak th card ef
th late on herself until h or she ar
rives. buch an arrangement prevents th pleas
ure of ottaera being delayed uiiuecwarily.
A hostess 1 apt to announce at th be
ginning of the evening either the hour at
which playing Is to stop or th number
ef rubbvra. When th latter la done tho-
ho finish first may continue to play for
thetr own amusement, but their aoor doe
But than la to their total credit.
HOtiXtiUA bCfcU'ILEfl,
fiflP
I ft I
"IT IjOST ITS HEAD DURING THAT
DANCE WITH JACK, DIDN'T IT?"
to sew a atltch. but besmn to play with my
hair or fiddle with a bracelet, or something
perfectly silly and useless like that.
Taking It ail In all, I have a difficult time
rhaperonlng myaclf. Really I can feel for
a woman who la aaked to chaperon kll
those things In a large party of girls. It
must be a fearful Job. I hav known even
falf-e hair to give a great deal of trouble.
At a dance last winter, when I wa bos
toning with Jack Wright, a little curl I
had pinned ou th back of my head came
off and fell near Alice Danvers, who la an
awful cat. She la crazy about Jack, and
for his benefit, "Here's your curt, dear!"
I said, "Thanks ever so much for bringing
it to me, dearest. It lost It head during
that dance with Jack, didn't It?"
Jack waa awfully attentive th rest of the
evening.
But to go back to Jim. I can see that he
cannot b a brother to me, aa ho suggested.
after I refused him. I reproached him bit
terly, and told him how furious I waa that
he dared to think he could klsa th top of
my head. I aald he ahould have been over
come with gratitude that I had allowed
him to sit on the same sofa with me. A
big, clumsy thing that didn't know any
thing! Horrible, dirty looking hands
Great, huge feet I I said th Idea, of his
Imagining I'd look at him, anyway I The
Idea of his daring to Imagine he could
touch me with the tips of his little flrger!
I was ao angry I got quite worked up
about It.
Suddenly h grabbed me by my arm
and said. "Stop talking Ilk that" I was
speechleaa with fury. If only I could hav
thrown something at him I I managed to
say, "How dare you!" He didn't say any
thing, so I repeated It two or three times,
each time more aavagely. He still didn't
say anything.
I smiled then I couldn't help It and
Jerked my arms away and ran to the other
side of the table and said, "Tea, Aunt
Georgstte, I'm right here," I asked him to
excuse me a moment, and when I cam
back told him she wanted to know tf the
book she was reading was In the room we
were In, and that she would be down for it
presently. He locked really profane.
She wasn't In th house at all, aa it bap-
HT AMERB MANN.
"Cooking Is simply common sense," ob
served the Hoss of the Establishment
oracularly.
His wife had been In town shopping dur
ing the afternoon and they were Journey
ing home together on a late suburban
train.
"I'm glad you think so," the floss' wife
replied; "but l'v known a great many
wonderful cook who had no common
sense at all and a great many sensible
persona who had no Idea of cooking what
ever. 1'ou. for Instance." she added
alowly.
"I?" the Boss reiterated. "Why, T was
the beat cook in our camping club when I
wnt to chool. I'll bet there Isn't a chef
In New Tork that can plank a teak the
way I can. ou don't know what you're
talking about Why, If you ever got a.
taate of my cooking you'd realise what
I v often told you-that a man can do
anything he undertakes better than any
woman that ever lived."
"The day will come when you will have
to eat your words and your own cook-
ling, too," answered the woman with pro
phetic mien.
And then each settled down to a peruaal
of the evening paper, which waa Inter
rupted only by the trainman's mumbled
announcement: "Mountalnvllle!"
"Prophet ar seldom entirety without
honor In their own mlnda, but on this
occasion the Boss wife did not know, or.
as the romances Bay. little reckoned that
the Boas was shortly to be called to ac
count for hla culinary brairrlng.
A recent rain had washed th ruatle
from th leave that formed heavily
padded carpet for their feet Raindrops
hung on th glistening trees; a pungent
greeting ros from the cedar hedge next
door.
But thetr own" house as they approached
It seemed strangely desolate and dark.
"I don't hear Wooff-Wooff. Usually that
dog know were coming aa soon as we
round th corner," said th Boss won-deringly.
"And I don't th light In Mary's
room. Sh always goes upstairs to drsas
before serving dinner," hi wffe retorted
She wa distinctly proud that on mem
ber of her household dressed for dinner and
promised herself that some day when she
had mors tlm h would Imltat the
cook' example.
"Oh, Mary s in th kitchen," th Boss
explained.
But when hi front door swung open
an Inexplicable air 'of desolation aasailad
him.
To b ur, Wooff-Wooff crmble4 up
from th sitting room rug and approached,
wagging a rather languid tall, but where
waa th light ot th household, th hub
of the universe, the queen of th kitchen?
A not on th dining room table told
th story. The Boss' wife salted it fever
ishly and then at Its conclusion uttered a
low. weak laugh of relief.
"Marv's aronel" ah exclaimed. "But
h'a coming back. Sh got a telephone
meaaag from Nw York aaylng that her
later was 111, so sh had to leave at
one. Wall, It might b worse; sh might
never be coming back."
"Bosh." aald th Boas. "You never ex
pect to e her again, do you? She's Juat
letting you down easy. But what ar you
even voor-wxr
TV8NF.D iKWAY AVi
going to do aoout 'eats? "
"Do!" echoed his wife.. "Why, we're o
Ing to glv you a chance to show how
much better you can cook than any wo
man! Mary has set the table (and fixed the
salad), ao I will hav a chance to watch
you cook."
"No, you don't!" th Bos answered
quickly. 'Tve no objeetlon to cooking th
dinner, but I won't hav anybody watching
m. All you need to do la to aat."
"It ounds eaay," the Boaa' wlf admit
ted, "but you never can tell!"
The Boas Ignored the flippant heresy and
disappeared In the dim receasee of th
basement kitchen.
"I'm going to hav an Irian tw!" he
aa d. "That' th way to get everything
cooked all at once. Now, mind you don't
dare set foot down these stairs until I tell
you dinner's ready, no matter what happens."
Th Boss wlf promised and eottled
down comfortably over a magasln. It
was two hour later that the Bo emerged
In creatfallen dlamay from the lower regions.
An odor of burning atew had preceded
him by several feet
"It got a little scorched," he said con
ciliating, "but I th!nk lt' great except
for a rather peculiar flavor."
He set the diah upon th table.
"Coma, lf at I'm starved!" be
added.
Starved he waa and remained, and
starved the lady of his house and heart
continued to be. For It was not In the)
power of the most loving wife to do mor
thnn smell th product of her husband
culinary skill.
"It's not very good?" Inquired the Boss,
tentatively.
"Oh, yes, dear, It Is! I'm simply not
hungry. Perhaps Woof-Woof will eat It.
he added encouragingly.
But aven the faithful Woof-Woof turned
away and sighed when he found hi affec
tions put to th supreme test
"There waa really nothing th matter
with It." th Boss' wife continued. "But t
do wlah our dog had a better appette."
(Copyright, H10, by th N. T. Herald Co.)
rr TIT. TT i 17 T-.. The Girl He Left
lypeS HC I'lliCl JiVCiy 1ay Behind Him.
the general Insurrection and didn't want pened, but I had to do aomethlng If he wa
rushed right over to m with It and said j going to behave to Idiotically.
; oi &J1 MOySe- "SSi MOUSE ' THV"V fity I
I -Ao7 XIl'Domt ertiEvr S?outawp animal. a i
I UZ5JM h1 TH" Ntfr y, J more gjmj
(Mousey JuMpf.2Ti l Vl ? r
what a sRg-fcCV )y() All i&l. x
"MIP I nil I I rr
542 . ' " V-"XA 1 M$t I or THE MOUSE
BT BOBBY BABBLE.
When little Polly come to wait
At sunset by th garden gat,
An Inner version greet her eight
She sees beyond the western light
Her sentry lover break hi paoi
His fa; turned home, he halt ft spec,
And on his faithful rifle lean
In Luson of th Philippine.
If In hi mind there lurk a fear
Of the Negrito' flying spear,
Out of th rustling bamboo brak
With grim destruction In It wake,
Th thought of Polly come to blm.
His heart beats fast, his eyes grow dim,
lit bridge space that Intervenes
'Twlxt Polly and th Philippines.
'Tls strange how tlm repeat th talel
Long, long ago, th twilight pal
Baw Polly' great-great-grandma there
At th same gat to breath a prayer
For her brav lover marohlng down
To Washington at Oermantown.
century and mor slip by,
And yet. behold! how close th tie
With other day and other scenes
With Torktown and th Philippine!
The tlm slip by, ax tlm will do,
Down to the day of sixty-two.
When Polly's grandma cam to wait
In tear beside th garden gat
Tot her brav mat, th boy In blue.
How strangely history links the two
The man in khaki and In Jean
At Bhlloh and the Phlllipplnesl
So In the twilight growing lab
Still Polly stands beajld th gat,
Pathetio In th darkening air,
She aymbollzea, atandlng there.
All patient women, down th years,
Htill smiling bravely through their tears,
Sh knows, too well, Just what It means
To guard the distant Philippines.
i (Copyright, lilO. by th N. Y. Herald Co.)
If Blood Circulates Freely in Winter
The Body Will Not Feel Cold
If there waa any on suggestion mor
than another that I would commend to th
attention of a person whose nose turna red
with th first cold of autumn It would b
to avoid overheated rooms. Whether tt If
the extreme Umperatur which oauaea th
rednesa I do not know, but th fact re
main that a no susceptible to weather
conditions will redden almost Immediately
In a warm rcom, and hour will daps
before it agalr resume It normal color.
I hav aid mora than one that an im
poverished condition of th blood 1 fre
quently the cause of red noses, and, of
oour, circulation affect It. But it Is
true that there ar condition of tempera
ture which it la wise to avoid, because by
so doing the weakness la not Inert ajied,
uu? lometlmea In a great measure I pre
vented. One great trouble about a red nos la
that one chronlo tt la difficult to cur.
Should a nose show th slightest tendency
to redden preventive measure should be
started at once, els th blood veeel of
that organ becomea dilated and naturally
easily fill with blood at tn allghtest
provocation. A nervous start will stimu
late circulation, and th dob wlil turn
red in an lnatant
One this condition Is chronlo a physl
olan'a tratmnt is almost neoesaarily re
quired, for external application ar of lit
tle avail.
When old weather come tt Is wis U
ever normal tha color of the noeo may re
main In the open, aa soon as a person thu
afflloted goes Indoor th blood will rustk
to th extremities, and th nose will tingle)
and burn.
A a protection againat cold thick knitted
veils, such aa until recently wer reserved
for the us of tables, may be worn to keep
the temperature around th fao compare
lively normal.
Tea and coffee are as great stimulants)
a alcoholic, aa far a Increasing th cir
culation, and so should be avoided by per
sons with red nosen. Hot and cold water,
too, must not be applied. Only that which
Is teptd wlil not increaa the tendency to
redden. Direct contact with heat, such aa
sitting before an open fire or register, t
unwise for person who want to pi event
red nose from becoming redder.
Although Indigestion may cauae tha nos
to turn red, to larva one' self In th be
lief that this will aid th color of thai
organ, I th greateet mistake. Plenty of
lood that la nourishing and easily dlgeated
must be eaten, and It I batter not to 11
th atomach bncorne empty. When that
happen rednesa of the face almost always
follow aung, whereas such flushing may
be a vol dud by not going too long without
food. 1LAIUJAKKT kUXTEK.
"flometblasr Jaat a tieog."
"Did he leave footpr.nts ou the sands
of tlmeT"
Vt fiea flvM wwumt wuivj it im mimm le i
protect th fao when out of door. How- j but u' t"'k tow vrinte,"