11
Jri TTT7TT TT ft fTvv T
HUMOR. (f
WELL. ILL VAIT A LITTLE VHILE
New Wedgw-od B ousc
n ii! n:!C.. Recounthinff What Happened
UOttie UialOfiUeS All on a Weird IUUowe'en
J
TTTft BEE: OMAHA. TIIOSDAY, NOVEMDEH 3. 1010.
PA(GM
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II) 1 . . . - ea -. f yw-iba lUC l If Tjrni i M 13 DC JIN 13 IO I
V
. 1 I INSURANCE, IM GOt NO I I BROOKING, HELL TAKf) 5MTH TO IT,
r -i jrV To &EE HIM. col i'll u V. J V V A ei6 ron-t,-TDo: y we u SPLIT
v" i ' ,T- . ,- lsWJ
ir n SWOOKINS. I j "l- f THE OLD 6UY
;'''"vV'';;l RemSENT A COfiWHY Itf TOO f PIPNY MY I CANT BLUFF Mf
.' rr'-Vv'v.a thw Gives th mr ( asv now: XJ i'll tam to '
"l't --fXrX -f:. LIFE iNiORAnCP poucW V -PtfT V HtriJT
rr,: i 7 j
I ' ' If' e 7.4 i NVvV ' , fcr CHEER UP 1 I KNEW YOU WERE I I'MGWD VOO DD, I
I ' -ir; -.V3. ' v- f - V' r ' iS-.f 'i VrMlll .,c.. uQi-r 1 RU.W TUIS MORNIN8. I SMITH. YOO MAY MRiTfI
' l - rr- Iiiwmm-om -rfuail-r r-n-Mr"t! m- Mil nal.Oiw.w . o xir. m rMfij
satin and white cord, I . ' " I
TtiABA n..i-..lu In KlAniM am 4Vinu b t-a ! mwm. I
I called, are distinctly smart They are worn fd)
with dark atrMt ouata and klrt of wool or f ITS fl? B 111 1 7 V fl 3T B II Gl I B H rtfvn
tr aijr-viJ .". .
' LYNO. '.W, - COfYMtMT U1 Ml WW YtlX MMM TUtSIUH OHM YMS NOUU CCa MMi Mnt
BY WALTER A. 8INCIAIR.
On of ycur r?ltlv l:aa fallpti Into
a fortune." aoctmod Pottle a I itroJe In.
"Yen, I nrle" fulntfd into tli r.1i rrsis- j
tr -hffi I ral.l up tne Ui'Ket, i auiniuru,
lipping rracpfully out of my overcoat.
"Joily tar from Pennsylvania," i-he mur
mured, sniffing politely.
"Tho tar refirema itloka to my roof. lut
why the Pennsylvania allimlon?" 1 ukt-1.
"Hocking Valley," ehe dla(;rane.l
"Change care!"
"Solid a Ulbraltar," I coincided, mnooth
Ing my tressea iMjnderously. "Hut I sup
posed you used all new stuff."
"The old Jokln' larbag. the moth roveie.i
tarbag, containing the top coat you him:;
up so well," she hummed softly.
"Hut even now the ravenous moths"
"Don't you mean the niotliy ravens?"
"Quote It nevermore," I abjured. "Tin
ravenoua moths are on me tiack. For
time I threw them off the scent"
"Impossible!" Fhe doubted.
"By throwing back a Swiss cheess." I
concluded.
"Kw1s cheese?" she Interrogated.
"The moths stopped to eat the holes," I
ep!a:ned. "That's all they eat of over
coats." "They consider a moth-eaten overcoat
very holesome," she surmlsud. "Was yours
worsted In the encounter?"
"No. It was noisled on the bargain
counter at least the salesman said."
"You notice I don't call It an overcoat,
but a top coat," she Insinuated.
"Indicating It waa spun wool."
"E'en so, e'en so, Hallowe en no.
ourred.
Lon't recall It," she shuddered
her eyes and blindly stretching
hands.
"I accept the handldacy." I remarked.
doing so.
"ir, release my hands!" she cried.
"If you have a lease blank handy I will
gladly re-lease them," I pertly responded.
But she took them away.
'Do I Infer that you had an unpleasant
experience on the night whn graveyards
yawn "
"Do you call on them?" she questioned
Innooentljr.
'And when many a merry Japo and prank
Is perpetrated?" I continued.
"Ton get the ctgr ." she unnounced.
"Bullseye, first time, eh?" I retorted.
"And wail our bright little girl caught
carrying a gate away at a lively gait"
"Nothing like that ln our family." she
answered. "Oeraldlne Ca truth had five
girls and five fellows over to her folks'
apartments SaturC- v night. You don t I
'.I'tJ '14
IS?-' J
I COtl-
closlns
oit her
' Nef Vme you" are near a china shop
tp In aud look at the Wedgwood Jugs
plataa wtUt their charming blue color-
m' and snowy white patterns that stand
out boldly against the blue; then go home 1
"CAVE MAN."
h, Jealousy!" I groaned.
"They even bobbed for apples. You should
have seen Some of the girls' complexions
run."
"They had bob apple checks, eh?" I com
prehended. "I remembered tlie saying of the old
hunter about keeping my powder dry," shs
cor leased. "Hut then was one regular
l ive man there who thought I was too
reluctant about trying to bite an apple
float ."ns In the diahpan on the dining room
lau'e. and he give my skull a push Into
he pan"
"Hence pan-le," I growled.
"1 threw out both ' hands wildly," she
Pi iict i (! d, "mid over went the pan, with
me nearly riruwni-d. That sort of put a
c.umper on the kitchen stove, as It ivera;
hut we were Just getting comfortably made
up amiln when the family from down
.Uaiis rushed up and made loud outcries
hat be celling was leaking. Meaning that
the water was leaking, of course, so we
nil adjourned. Oerahltne had fixed up a
cheme for pairing off every one by hiding
duplicate numbers In apples."
"Ah, apple pairs," I observed. "A pippin
of an Idea. I am gnawed with Jealousy at
the thought of your homecoming."
"So I don't care much about running out
nights now."
"I'hsaw!" 1 exclaimed. "I thought we'd
?o out election night and h;ii secured a
table."
"A tnble''" she ululated. "What"
A timetable," I answered. "And I'll get
know them. We had stunts and pumpkin i c tin horn and blow myself."
lights which made the rooms dark" I (Copyright, VulO, by Uie N. Y. Herald Co.)
Brightside and His, Boy.
' ' 'BY LAFAYETTK PAKKS.
"Belief In so-called mascots, which most
of us humans seem to have, was carried to
xtreme by taking a cat to sea ln a bal
loon that -tried to sail across the Atlantic,"
basins .Brtghtntde, ' as the animated en
cyclopedia of the Harlem flat condescends
to Illuminate dark problems for his doting
parent.
"Ant tha cat came back!" exclaims Ren,
"which Is more than a whole bunch of wise
guys in this town can do ai'tur they get
their feat frottbltten.'
. "This a) ascot Idea Certainly is a queer
custom," continues Father, ' and It seems
to bs spreading Intrtead of growing less."
"That class of dope makes a big hit with
tba chaps who are always looking for easy
money declares Hon. "They have a
hunch If they keep .aa angora on a string
for a matoot he will be the goat when
hard luck oomes along. It's a cake of let
the silver dust twins do the work. Just
another way of ! the buck "
. "Of course, U is foolish superstition to
bUv JUiaiv an. animal, will prove effica
cious In warding off evil," argues Father.
"Btlll," hodgoe Son, "I always aotlce
thai the favorite mavent on a battleship
la tba (oat. He makes .one mure target to
boot at when the enemy gets busy, and one
bullet 1
ie
itu""
III
The PAvoeiTc wascot cm a
BATTlXyHIr iS THE GoAT
"Faith In signs Is by no means confined
to persons engaged In hasardous under
tiV'ngs," suggests Father.
r be It from me to lift the hammer,"
a s Son, "but us coarse men are not
sometimes means the difference I the only ones given to such foolishness.
between good and bad luck. That's one place
where a maaoot uutke good, especially
when the goat Is plump enough to make a
deoeM slse breastworks for a full grown
bluejacket."
"I fall to see the efficiency of a cat In
a .balloon,, however.'' protests Father.
"That solmaJ. according to my notion. Is
about the most use lees of all the four
tooted creatures."
"If your little Willie were going up ln a
bailee.," eays Son, ''when the time came
to Jump out. I wouldn't mind owning half
a doaen of kitty's nine lives."
"I think such a demonstration would
prove the number of lives proverbially ac
eorder to Pussy also a myth," Father de
cides, v
"The only surer-thing mascot for one of
those airship Joy rides," asserts Bon, "Is
to keep , the balloon tied up ln the barn
and stick ' close to a comfortable hotel
about a mile away. That's men ly my Ide i
of playing the gam safe without the aid
e( a C0l cat or wiy , other animal In
aaptlvlty. There Is no patent on It. and It
may' be -used freely by one and all "
Society Girl, '.'Master Mariner'
to Wed an English Nobleman
ANOTHER QUESTION
(So
Ml A T
Many Is the bright-eyed dams who thinks
she can sidestep the hoodoo by carrying
around one or more of the fifty-seven vsr
letles of mascots. Anything from the long
end of a chicken's wishbone to a shos
button with a pink baby ribbon tied on It
will do the work for the skirts."
"What on earth can any woman see In a
bit of chicken bone to aid her?" queries
Father.
"Maybe she thinks It will help her bone
head hubby to loosen up with the masuma
on pay days," Is Bon's Idea. 'Those who
haven't husbands, believe a wishbone will
hurry along a victim willing to pay the
rent on a five-room flat and cross the
grocery man's palm with enough sliver to
keep the Icebox full."
"I have never met' any one yet who oould
mention a- single instance of good fortune
coming from such a source," avers Father.
"Because you never had any' good luck
from toting a hoodoo chaser. Pop." Son
explains, 'Is no excuse to knock the game.
There's a willing worker In our office who
doesn't believe In the eff ccy of prayer
because he recited the ten commandments
once on a bet and lost a wad of dough."
"Almost anybody ought to be able to win
that wager." Is the opinion of Father,
"That's what they all any." Son admlts.
"but when they look up this chap's line
of dope In the book to make sura before
they paid the bet, his 'ten commandments'
prov d to be the Declaration of Independ
ence." tCopyright, 1910. by the N. T. Herald Co.)
Wednesday Have had to delay going
baok to town fur a few days until the fur
nace Is fixed. It has been decided . at I
am Jo go In ahead of the others and get the
house ready.
I shall spend the nights with Mary Whit
ing. It will be hard work, as mother says
the rooms need a thorough cleaning, and all
the rugs will have to be put back, and the
floors waxed and all sorts of things, and I
shall have to overlook everything. I shall
probably do tome scrubbing myself, and I
think I shall make myself a big dusting
cap and get some attractive aprons. I
don't see why even a acrubbwomsn
shouldn't look as nice as possible. I sup
pose Tom and Jim will call up as soon as I
get there. I must have the telephone started
the very first thing. It will be necessary,
of course, to Interview the tradespeople as
toon as possible. I suppose I had bitter
get the drawing room In order before I do
anything else.
If Tom or Jim happen to drop In on their
way uptown In the afternoon I couldn't ask
them to sit down In the dust. I wish we had
a good caretaker Instead of that old crone
who Is one of Aunt Harriet's pets, and who
Just stops In occasionally to do nothing dur
ing the summer.
The Thatchers, who live quite near us,
have a lovely old lady who Is a German.
Mrs. Thatcher complained once about
something she had not done, and she said
glsed, and a little later offered her a Fiench I bought It when It was a kitten of that old
corset that was hardly worn at all, but lady who has a sort of a rabbit and kitten
-he refused It, saying w ith firmness: "I . stall on Broadway. It was such an ador-
aln't no corset wearer, madam!"
PMPf
Wlfia What ehall I.tfve yoti
for your birthday, dear? v
Hubble Anything you like, my
dear.
Wlfie But do you think you
caia afford that?
"WHAT'S THAT?"
the doctor had forbidden her to work a
great deal on account of her heart He
had particularly cautioned her against
standing loo much. Mrs. Thatcher apolo-
"I DON'T 8KK WHY A 8CR1"B WOMAN
SHOULDN'T LOOK NICE
AS POSSIBLE."
Billy said she always chose- the worst
time she could to Inform him of distressing
household calamities. If he was dressing
n a mad hurry to go. out tS dinner, she
ould appear and tell him sadly that the
ci liar was floadcd." 6he had such a
ualnt way of mispronouncing Kngllsh
words. Naturally the only thing Billy con
do under such circumstances Is to ask her
to go and drown herself In It.- Bhe thinks
he Is an awful young man. Aunt Georgette
Is still staying here, and Amy comes to
morrow. They are having some things
'one to their house and until It Is finished
they will be with us.
They will go up to New York when we
do, and I believe I shall let Amy take the
cat In. It aeems like a low down trick, but
she seems to like the animal, and as shs
has never done It before and doesn't know
what It ran be like, the novelty may take
away the horrors of ths journey. It Is a
good looking cat, fine and large, and pretty
heavy. It has marvellous lung power, and
although It Is very shy and Is even too
bashful to come out from under ihe wash
tubs sometimes. In a kitchen where the
strictest privacy Is assured It,. It doesn't
seem to mind making Itself dreadfully con
spcluous ln a trnln of cars full of pub'lc.
It losos all that sweet shyness and that
sense of silence one associates with a cat.
j able kitten. I never trO'ipht of It growing
up Into a cat. I had always had a aucces-
I slon of kittens that always ran away or
disappeared somehow before they grew up.
This one stayed. I wlh 1t was like the
cats one reads about sometimes, but I've
never known It to show the slightest sign
of Intelligence In any way, or any affection
for anybody, though Its manner toward the
cook has slight tlnre of respect In It. It
Is a splendid moueer. Our house Is very
old. and It has caught rats there, too. I've
slways thought It showed a certain has'y
spirit In connection with me and low sort
of sense of humor when It put four rats
neatly ln a row under the drawing; room
knew I was coming In that evening.
One of the tails stuck out. I saw It, and
was sitting on my feet In an Instant. Tom
said, "Good heavens' what's the matter?"
He looked dreadfully frightened. I could
only gasp, "What's that?" He was per
fectly coo), and with great presence of mind
1- oked under the sofa.
That man Is a perfect marvel to ma
'A hen he looked up he said solemnly, "You
had better go Into the next room." I man
aged to say wlti chatter ng teeth, "Don't
be silly, I suppose It's a dead rat." He said,
"Go and get a dustpan several dustpans."
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Randal Morgan of Philadelphia, has con
firmed the report from London of the en
gagement of his daughter, June Moiuhu,
and the Hon. Ceoll Fisher, son of Admiral
Lord Fisher of the British navy.
The wedding will take place In Phila
delphia In December, It Is announced.
Miss Morgan la an enthusiastic yachts
woman and Is one of five women In Out
and received her I cense. Her father U
Iners. Her papers give her the right to
navigate vessels In all the waters of the
world.
In !90f she passed ths rigid examination
of the United States steamboat Inspectors
ami received her license. Her father I
vico resident of the United dan Improve
nii nt company.
As "master mariner," Miss Morgan has
commanded her father's yacht, the Wa
turus, with much skill, and she Is quail
fled to command "on all oceans." In 1SKJT
she was granted a license, as pilot on the
Delaware.
Mi- Moixan In popular In society ln
many countries; she is fond of outdoor
nports, and a member of several organi
zations. In l'.od It was rumored that she
was engaged to Sir Thomas Lipton. the
Irish cup challenger, but this was
promptly denied.
Daughters of Famous Men
"I AIN'T NO CORSET WEARER.
MADAM!"
Mrs. Alice Crary Butcllffe, who came Into
general prominence during the Hudson
Fulton celebration when she christened th'
replica of Robert Fulton's first steamboat.
The Clermont, and who" appeared at the
various functions, of the celebration, is ttiu
we spent the rest or me evening in m. grMtt.g,addaughter of Robert Fulton, an 1
library. The family had gone to the theater, ( tIiUB alUw, ,Q ,h- ijvlri(t8ton ttn1 oth,.r
and the cat was sitting mere ana smnea Umoln American families.
sneerlngly at
Mrs. Sutcllffe Is the daughter of Robert
Fulton's first grandson, the Reverend I r.
the Quaker teacher, who spared not the
rod; and It Ih said that In administering
such discipline on the hand of Robert Ful
ton, one day he testily exclaimed: 'There,
that will make you do something!' To
which Robert, with folded arms, replied:
'Mir, 1 tame to have something biaten Into
my brains and not - Into my knuckles.'
Mih.)ut doubt he was a trial to his
teacher.
ne entered school one day very late.
Two fas Play.
"Walter." called the Irate diner, "there
seems to be a dollar on thla bill I
can t account for."
"Oh. that's Just a joke, sir," apologised
the waiter, "Just a bt the cashier and I j
have. I 11 have It fixed right away, sir." i
Items of Interest for the Vomen Folk
-J
Robert Fulton Crary, for more than forty ' a,ld when the master Inquired the reason,
years the rector of the church of the Holy' Robert, with frank Interest, replied ti.at
Comforter, of Poughkeepsle, N. Y. Mrs. he had been at Nicholas Mllltr's shop
Crary, who wrote "Robert Fulton and the pounding out lead for a pencil. 'It la the
Clermont," a book published last esr, i very best I evet had, sir,' he affirmed, as
"What do you mean about a bet?" asked lighted with the pretty new neckwear fash
the diner, detaining him. toned from black velvet ribbon and the
"Well, sir, I bet the cashier fifty cents d8jntl.t 0f tinv ribbon Towers,
you would see the mistake, and he bet you Th- for fcCMore. ar mod.
"Suppose I hadn't noticed )t?"
"He'd have gotten the dollar, sir."
f lltva ma tA.IP rnll'" and
. . n k.w .,. flowers, the entire bunch no larger than
he wrote a few lines on the oacx of the , .....
bill, folded It up, and handed It to ths
waiter. "Take that to the ooahler." i
The waiter leaned over the cashier's I
Feminine New York Is Just now de- priced so moderately that few women will
, erate, too.
For Instance, a strand to fit the neck,
decorated with a bunch of the tiny ribbon
s'u u'de- ss he unfo'.ded the paper, it read:
"III bet you five dollars mat when ou
send thla back you don't rind ma"
Ai.d they d du't Lipplncott'a.
The Kay la the bltuation Bw Waal Aaa
o time other strands,
tipped with a flower, was only 60 rents.
pink tipped English daisies, rosebuds,
n - mu oins are all In evi
dence as a decoration to the velvet, and
are set on primly or used as a drop on
the ends of the velvet, according to the
design chosen.
The loveliest scarfs of spangled silks ars
resist the temptation to buy them.
Exquisite scarfs ln delicate shades of
yellow, pink, blue and mauve showered
with mock dewdrops and trimmed on the
ends with a deep fringe can be bought tor
12 95 each.
These are airy looking, but should some
thing more substantial be preferred they
each could be lined with a soft silk, such as
China or 8urslne, and would not lose their
datntlnekS The Persian scarfs ln the rich
soft colorings, trimmed with natural mara
bou, are equally attractive. The prices for
them are about the same as the spangled
models.
awmf the odd pieces of silverware for
giving the authentic story of Robert Fui
ton's early experiments, persistent efforts
and historic achievements and contai 'in,;
many of Fulton's hltntrto uniub ltlud Ut
daily use are bread baskets ln French gray
oval shape. They remind us of ths old ,r.,lnll d A.deatel n'
Sashkncd s.uf'er irys. m ly are Ce per, of of ner .n-nnndiather to i.er fal .ei
'oui ss. i r,e prtie is si eacn.
Porcelain trays nickel mounted are
In her book, Mrs. Sutcllffe writes;
"Thers are several anecdotes which re
equally attractive, and some of the designs ' (c Kobert Fu,ton' early Interest In
are dainty.
They come in different shapes and slses.
A ut-eful tray costs tlMf. while a smaller
tray ran be ho'is-tit fr 11 "V
1 hes tr ys sre strong and are fitted with
nickel handles.
mechanics the first steps of progress to
ward his later skill. In 1773, when he was
years old. his mother, having previously
taught him to read and write, sent him to
a school kept by Mr. Caleb Johnson, a
Quaker gentleman of pronounced Tory
principles eo pronounced, ln tact, that he
narrowly escaped with his life CurUitf tin
revolution. Hut Robert Fulton did not taie
for books, and he beitan at a very early
age to search for piohleu.s never mastered
The Key to the Situationboe .ant Ads. bouud la pilot. This greatly distressed
Mabel R. fceedy has been appointed In
spector of customs at San D'.exo. Cat., by
the Vnlted Htates Treasury department.
he dlsplajed his product. The master, after
an examination of the pencil, proi ounced
It excellent. When Robert's mother, who
had bti n distressed by his lack of appli
cation to his studies, expressed to the
teacher her pleasure at signs of improve
ment, the lattei confided to her that Rob
ert had tatd to him: 'My luad is o fiill
of original notions that there la not vacant
chamber to store aay the contents of
dusty Looks.' Nevertheless, Hubert Fulfon
did auto I. a knowledge of the rudmu-nts
of education "
tCopi iism, lJl), by the N. Y. Herald Co )
Kvrr Dearer to lllm.
We know a n.an who suys ttut there !
no doubt tl at eveiyttiing cumes high these
tlays. He states tout evu h;s mcilier in
law Is growing dealer u him every fa
li.g liuur. J uuta.
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