11
ES) iOMEiMAGAlINE PAG
HUMOR.
Hat With DcDt-in Brim
Things You Vant to Know
The CioTrrnnirnt at
Work IVpartinent
of AKrlrulturc.
urn rET!: mrATT.v. th:tnt:stay. October 12, mm.
'"'.' -
It l- th Blmplvit kind o( remodellns to
chance a, lant yrar'tMg mushroom nhape
Into a atunnlnc 1911 model. For only a
dent th the brim, made .with the thumb
and. forefinger, la required to secure a
Dew "nickel" picture chape.
f:
TlnfflV-ninlnrf!1P Words- Words Everywhere, and
.4 ypiUr.liaiOgUeS . Not a, Thought to. .Think!..
t
BY' WALTER" A. SINCLAIR.
"Can't they get out the vote campalgn
lesslyT" a Wed Dottle.
"No, I'm afraid the free born voter will
now suffer campaigns In the head," I
replied, ' after recovering' "from my dlil
ness.' '
"Caused by wearing campaign hat?" she
suggested.
"No. Smoklnar a campaign toroh."
"Ah, torture," she comprehended.
"What's the meaning of your taking
such a deep lnteretrt In pollUcsT" I de
manded, suspiciously.'
' "I read that all the big interests were,"
she countered; artlessly. "But, to tell the
truth. I thought I ought to. seeing the
merTon't." k
"You can't vote." I challenged.
"Yes, I can, but the men won't let me.
Mentally' and physically I'm able to vote."
she asserted. "That's no argument against
my being Interested, You can't make a
drees- or wear one; but I notice you are
Interested. I hope soma day to put my X
In the circle."
"You have great X-pectattons," ' I ven-
tured.
"There was one thing I couldn't quite
understand," she admitted.
"Only" oner
"Yes. I thought a vice president was
lected for the aame erm as a president,
and yet I see that Vice President Sherman
was defeated1 for election"
"Oh. that was a mere device to keep the
pnbllo reminded of who was vice presi
dent."' I "explained. "He gets the salary
right along and la allowed the privilege
of paying about twice as much for houjie
rant in Washington."
i "And what does It mean to demand a
progressive platform?" she asked.
"That means a moving sidewalk," I re
sponded. "And then thers ars direct primates
do, prima rites T' '
i "Why,' that's r er where you go to
th primaries and um they direct ou to
go to another place about a mile a&y,"
I diagrammed.
' "I'm" so glad there was some one I could
ask!" she exclaimed, pleaaed.
"Oil, you can ask me anything," I as
serted, recklessly. "In reason!" I added.
' "I ean ask you, but can you answer?''
she 'demanded.
"This' Is so sudden," I shied.
-"For whom are you going to vote for
or.gress?" she Interrogated.
'Why er um the name eludes me for
the moment,"' I lodged.
"It doesn't have to be a very fast name
tMMUN3
.A ittre knowledge is dam
jWoug Ctdng."
AVcll, you're aie enough."
V " .
Thla change, of course, providing the
big hat la covered with velvet, of which
all the handnome picture hats are made
this year, little trimming Is required. On
these big, smart shapes a towering feather,
like the one In the photograph, Is all that
la essential.
"MOVE NEARER."
to do that," she commented. "Well, who
Is your choice for state senator?"
"Neither are very choice," I sidestepped.
turning red.
"I suppose you know who are candidates
for assemblyman In your district?" she
grilled, remorselessly.
"Fact Is, they're so bad I hate to admit
It," I parried. "But why try to make me
tell names? I'm no city directory."
"Matter of fact you don't know a name,"
she accused. "How do you pick candi
dutes?"
"I never got near enough to one to pick
trim," I eluded. "Anyhow, most of them
do the picking themselves after they're
elected. I usually vote the straight ticket
"How can It be straight when you say
part of It Is crooked ?" she persisted.
"Now, Isn't that just like a woman?"
declaimed.
"You don't even know the assembly dis
trict you live In, do you?"
"Well I spend so inuih tltqe over hers
in your district that hu,3i 1 was serlosly
thinking
"ImpoHslble!" she decided, Increduously,
'Seriously thinking," J insisted, "that
would move over nearer"'
"H'm! You can't move much nearer,
sue observed, dryly.
'Now, If you want to talk politics" I
Invited.
Why, how deep your eyes are!" she
exclaimed. "I never noticed before"
Can you beat It?
(Copyright, 1910. by the N. Y. Herald Co
r
Daily Health Hint
J
To keep comfortable In body, one of the
first requisites is to be comfortable In
mind. A happy frame of mind helps to
drive away 111 health and keeps It away.
Lite t a Or eat City.
The crowd blocked the sidewalk and
spread out half way across Eh street
Men struggled and almost fougbt to force
their way through, to find out what was
going on.
"What's ths trouble?" asked a dozen
volets.
The answers wars unsatisfactory. It
was a man in a tit Somebody bad fainted.
Two newsboys wers fighting. A woman
bad been run over by a delivery wagon.
A pickpocket had been caught in the act
"Aw. I'win, here! Muv ahn!" vocif
erated a policeman, who was ths last to
arrive.
The crowd melted away.
Then the cause of the excitement was
revealed.
It a glasier trying to break off half
sn inch Cruiu lb botium of a large pas
ytkii BB-""uiigj x nouns.
st'. tmij is no tuKie
TtR. OOlT It TK
too
ncRM i m'
cv i-r i ! i
( will 11 V I lh-
THEPf. IS
JK) MfTH
31C Tvf
J
r v
ffrlAvi 7 so 9
I TRIEP I
J 3UST THIMKIN1 0T) U(C6 TO I
J 36W r COKTttftCT With too
' 3UST l(Pr rNCCxJT THlJ J
. IwV ul or ma ,
Y V-iN I UOUrVJ
Avh: Hjctc"
The Boss of the Establishment
JBY AMERH MANN.
The Boss of the Establishment was
enjoying for the first time the delightful
sensation of being the lord of the manor
also.
The October wind showered leaves from
his own elm and maple trees.
Ths October mosquitoes bussed In angry
bafflement outside his own back porch,
where on a olear, cool Sunday afternoon
he was taking his ease and his demi-tasse.
His wife, still a little daxed by the faot
that she could actually get lost In the un
accustomed spaciousness of her own home,
was reading, with obvious approval, a
newspaper article In praise of ths atout,
or as the author phrased It, ths well-developed
woman.
The Boss looked out over ths slightly
withered lawn where they were planning
to have a tennis csurt next summer.
'This Is pretty poor. Isn't It?" he oo-
served, with the customary enthusiasm of
the newly made commuter.
'It's lovely," his wife softly agreed.
Then her melting tone hardened suddenly
to the matter of fact.
'There's but one thing I'm afraid of,"
he confided. "That It will be lonesome for
the new cook. You sea. In an apartment
house a girl knows all the other servants
and she has plenty of society."
"But uoUtude is ths greatest beauty of
this place!" ths Boss protested. "I tell you
I want to give thiee cheers every time i
realize that we don't know a soul In Moun
talnvllle."
'But that won't last, dear," his wife re
plied. A sub-tone of optimism sounaed in
her voice. "The nelglsVors next door seem
to be very nice. They're a small family,
just like ourselves, only their dog Is a
Great Dane Instead of a collie."
"I ll bet Woof-Woof can lick him!" the
Boss exclaimed with sudden Interest.
For the compromise between the bulldog
of the Boss' desire i.nd the collie of his
wife's dreams had materialised, and, as
every married man has already guessed. It
was a collie. .
The Boss' wife had wished to christen
the new arrival "Sir Uallahad.' She
thought It might have a good effect on his
morals and deportment; but on this point
the Boss was obdurate. He said he didn't
want to kill a dog hs had paid K0 for with
a name like that, so he named htm Woof
Woof. "Why, that dog Is twice as big as Woof
Woof!" the Boss' wife protested. "I do
Items of
Horizontal lines ars the corrective for i
extreme height and slenderness. Square
yokes, ornamental cuffs and belts, trim
ming that runs around ths skirt, all help
to diminish ths size. Vertical lines ars
trying to a slight figure unless lengthwise
tucks and plaits ars used, which, extend
ing to the shoulders, give width to ths
chest surface, but fullness gained by. gath
ers and shlrrings Is softer and adds
breadth without lnourrlng the stiffness of
ths up-and-down lines. Diagonal folds
may, of course, be employed, only they
should not be flat, but soft and In ths na
ture of drapery.
Sleeves for thin arms should never be
plain nor have any length wis trimming.
A simulation of a short sleeve by means
of transparent cuffs is a good design and
almost any use of horizontal lines. When
as is often ths case with a tall frame, the
neck Is long, Its exaggerated effect la ob
viated by bringing soma fairly striking
trimming doss under U chin. If, how
ever, this sama ornamentation Is carried
MOv-f .WHftT JO YOU
UKt Tr pence.!
aoiNci To ooit. fH'.
M0rHlH" RWIM
" J
rVSLtEJP AT Tr( SWITCH. I'LL
Just sprjnicle sottt
TAILS'-
OK HERMAN' tVxBe
twnot net niN
'tir'
Mr
hope they won't meet unless they are
going to be friends. Don't you think, dear,
It might be a good plan for us to have
just a formal acquaintance with those
people so that the dogs will get to know
eaoh oter right away and not want to
fight?"
"See here!" said the Boss, setting down
his coffee cup, "don't you worry about our
dog. He can take care of himself. But
what's the use of getting rid of all your
friends by moving to the country if you're
going to start making a new lot right
away? I've com out on the train with
that fellow next door a couple of times
and I tell you I don't like his looks."
The Boss never did like a strange man's
looks. It was only with the greatest re
luctance and upon Indisputable evidence
that he ever parted with the conviction
that a person unknown to him was a cut
throat or a confidence man. He had not
lived ten years in New York for nothing.
When, later in the afternoon, be started
for a walk, with Woof-Woof running and
wheeling ahead, they passed the unknown
neighbor and his lumbering Qreat Dane
both the Boss and his dog growled.
Woof-Woof seemed not In the least dis
mayed by the height and expansive chest
of ths Scandinavian, Olaf, which was the
other dog's historical name. In fact, even
I JM
Interest for the Yomcn Folk
far down on the chest its purpose is de
feated; it must serve either as a shallow
yoke or as a band from shoulder to, shoul
der. In designing a gown with prominent
horizontal lines one must be careful not
to divide the figure Into "stories." A gen
eral Impression of unity must be preserved
and no gown that has a cut-up effect la
well planned. '
A frock must not be shapeless. With
material at hand ons can build out the
figure to any size and shape and with
grotesque results; to be succewtful In treat
ing ths slight figure one must keep a sense
of proportion and maintain the right rela
tions of ons part of the body to another.
And one must not forget either to keep in
graceful outline ths contour of the figure,
which Is almost mora of an art In build
ing out a figure than In treating one where
natural curves, while ample at. leant, serve
as a baala and Indication.
To the Blender who would be otharwlas:
Do away with dark colors and Cat sur-
1CK0W ftDoUT TMnT?
Such is lipe. ik
fnryvw
5H'UL
(7 V vyi
ft v&fc
y. foy how I LovtN
He Refuses to Allow His Neighbors
to Become Too Familiar.
Tthe Boss admitted that, In the sanguinary
proceedings which followed, the young and
frisky collie was distinctly the aggrensor.
Woof-Woof looked at the rather aged
gladiator and uttered a snarl to the effect
that "they never come back."
The Great Dane halted and showed a set
of rather ancient teeth, which seemed only
to encourage the younger dog.
The next moment ths Boss, Woof-Woof,
Olaf and his unknown master were tangled
up in a whirling, snapping, growling cloud
of dust.
Each man, with praiseworthy self-re
stralnt, pounded, coaxed and yelled at his
own dog.
A crowd of boys playing base ball on a
vacant lot quit their game and crowded
in a shrieking circle about the combatants.
In less than five minutes the dogs were
separated, but there had been time enough
for the two men to become very formally
acquainted.
Neither dog had been conquered so de
cisively as to rouse resentment In the breawt
of his master. But, though the spirit of
battle still rumbled in the canine throats,
a bond had been created between ths two
men.
As soon as active hostilities had oeased
the Boss invited his new acquaintance to
have a drink, and by the time that func
tion was over had quite decided that the
young man was neither an escaped convict
nor a bank embezzler, but a most estimable
and entertaining member of society, and
who had a dog that Woof-Woof could
"lick."
Later, when the Boss, with the still pant
ing collie behind him. Joined his wife on the
front lawn, that highly perceptive person
remarked at once:
"What's the matter with Woof-yVoof?
He's ail warm and mussed up! Why he
looks exactly as If he bad been in a fight!"
"So he has!" the Boss exclaimed, and with
great detail and not without visible enjoy
ment related the story of Woof-Woofs
escapade.
"I don't wonder you said those people
next door are not nice! What a brute he
must be to let his dog attack Woof-Woof!
I don't ever want to know any of them!"
The Boss hesitated a moment.
"But you'll have to know them!" he said
finally. "He's a fine young fellow, I asked
him to bring his wife over to call after
tea."
The Bass' wife smiled softly to herself.
while Woof-Woof merely yawned.
(Copyright, 1910, by ths N. Y. Herald Co.)
fsces. Learn to manage fullness without
clumsiness; cultivate a sense for beauty of
Una and beauty of motion and stand
straight If you would look smart In the
trying styles of this season!
Among the unusual towels is a dainty
huckaback finished with a scalloped edge,
above which appears a band of embroid
ery in a simple but very artistic design,
enclosed with rows of fancy stitching. The
size Is twenty-nine by forty-three Inches
and the price Is $1. A similar towel, but
smaller, costs &0 cents. The price of an
Imported Turkish bath towel Is 60 cents,
size twenty-one by forty Inches, and a
most luxurious towel of the same kind, but
larger, costs 8S cents. Turkish bath sheets
are a luxury. They are hemstitched ail
around and coma in sizes fifty by seventy,
two Inches at $160, and siity-two by
eighty-two inches at $1.
Persistent Advertising Is the Road to Big
Returns.
The Department of Agriculture has mmle
Itnelf one of the most Important of the
activities of the federal government. The
annual production of asrlcnltural Interests
of the Vn'ted States amounts to neRrly
St.OOn.OTO.iiCO. Assuming that the depart
ment has been able dur nv all the yeiirs
of Its work to Increase the efficiency of
farm operations only 1 per cent. Its total
anni'al value to the nation would amount
to $'.'0,000,000. It Is well recounted that the
campaign of education waged by the de
partment has resulted In a much lartrer
Increase In crop production than that. He
tween Its work of advising the farmer how
to grow the food supply of the nat on
most successfully, and Its labor to guar
antee the quality of that food to all the
people, the department Is a busv institu
tion. Its activities cost the government
at nit J1.000,000 a year.
The secretary of agriculture has many
assistants. An assistant secretary aids
him In the general supervision of the
work of the department, a chief clerk
suervlses the working force, nnd a solici
tor acts as the legal adviser of the de
partment. The division of publications Is
sues about 1.200 different publications dur
ing a year. These contain more than 4'V
OiW pares and 17.000.000 copies are circulated.
During twenty years the department has
circulated more than "0.000.000 farmer bul
letins. The weather bureau's main purpose la to
forecast the weather and Issue warnlnirs
as to storms, cold waves, frosts and
floods, for the benefit of agriculture, com
merce and navigation. The nation spends
nearly 2.000.000 a year on this bureau, lie
sides forecasting weather conditions, the
bureau Is engaged in a scientific Investiga
tion of the eurth's atmosphere. At Mount
Weather. Va., It has an observatory far
removed from the disturbing conditions of
surrounding civilization. Here most of Its
atmospheric Investigations are made. One
of the buildings at this observatory is
without windows, and another without the
presence of Iron. Even the horses cannot
wear Iron shoes while certain delicate
magnetic experiments are being carried on.
The live stock Interest of the nation are
looked after by the bureau of animal In
dustry. It has charge of meat Inspection,
national quarantine regulations for live
stock, and the study of the relations of
animal diseases to the human race.- Each
year in the meat Inspection service M.000,000
live animals are Inspected before their
slaughter, and 7,000,000,000 pounds of meat
after slaughter. This bureau also furnishes
the farmers of the country black leg vac
cine, free of charge, for the Inosculation
of young calves. Over 1,000,000 doses were
given away lat year, and 230,000 doses of
tuberculin, which is using In determining
the presence of tuberculosis In milk cows.
The country is indebted to the bureau
of plant Industry for Its services In helping
the farmer grow his grain, forage, truck
and fruit crops. It ransacks the whole
world for plants which may bo grown with
proflOn the United States. It has brought
dates from Palestine, durum wheat from
UuHsia, millet from Siberia, wild peaches
from China, . agd -many other promising
plants from every region of the world.
The bureau has charge of the investigation
of drug plants, seed distribution, cotton
standardization, farm management and
many other problems which bear an impor
tant relation to the operations of the farm.
The forest service has charge of the na
tional forests of the country. It Is en
gaged In scientific Investigation of forest
problems, tree diseases, and all questions
which will aid in the perpetuation of the
forest resources of the country, at the
same time permitting the present genera
tion to use such timber supplies as it may
need. It costs 2 cents an acre to maintain
the national forests of the United States,
as compared with from' 11 to 12 an acre In
France, Germany and Switzerland. The
forest service Is almost self-supporting.
Its expenditures amount to about $3,000,00)
a year, and Its receipts from the sale of
lumber, grazing privileges and other re
sources amount to approximately $1,800,000.
The corps of forest rangers, whoBe duty it
is to patrol the national forests, Is made
up of highly intelligent young men, and
thousands of serious forest fires have been
averted by their vigilance and, timely e
forts.
One bureau In the Department of Agri
culture Is more widely known through
the man at Its head than through Its own
reputation the bureau of chemistry, pre
sided over by that eminent humanitarian
Plenty of Exercise, Water and
Oranges
Two women who had not met since the
beginning of the summer encountered each
other In a shop the other day, and one
frankly exclaimed: "What have you been
doing? You've a figure like a boy! You
can wear ft hobble skirt and not look like
a barrel!"
"That was the object of my life this
summer, and I've succeeded, haven't I?"
the second returned complacently. "I
think hobble skirts are homely, but If
every other woman Is going to wear them
this winter then I must, and I don't mean
to look like a guy. either. How did I do
It? Exercise, water and oranges, mostly.
Want to know?"
They adjourned to luncheon, and over
a small omelet, some toaBt without butter
and a final glass of orange Juice, the slim
woman expounded her treatment.
"As soon as I wake In the morning," she
said, "1 drink a glafcs of spring water that
has been standing covered, In the room all
night. It Is cool, but not cold. That
quantity of liquid on an empty stomach
acts to flush the system, but the drink
must not be cold. My breakfast, half an
hour later. Is a cup of black coffee without
erAAtn or auarar. and the Juice of two
oranges. Through the morning I drink
orange lulce freely and also two full glasses
of water. 1 found ths easiest way of
making sure to have water the right tern
perature and convenient was to keep a
large bottls of it in the room.- Luncheon
Is a slight meal of non-fattening food fol
lowed by mere orange Juice in the after
noon and two more glasses of water.
don't starve at dinner, but I eat with dis
cretion, and I never take liquid with it
During the evening I drink two more
glasses of water, and a third as I am
going to bed.
"My special exercises come morning and
night; the former before I dress. I stand
with my hands high sbove my head and
bring them down straight till the finger
tips touch ths floor without bending my
knees. I couldn't make the tips touch at
first, but I pegged sway. Increasing the
number of trials every three days, till
could. It was two weeks before I did
chemist. Dr. Harvey W. Wiley. In addi
tion to supervising the enforcement of the
pure food law, the bureau has many other
duties. Recently It examined 110 samples
of American nines, with a view of ascer
taining what might be done In the direc
tion of Improving th American product.
Careful studies are made for the solution
of the problem of Impure milk. In the en
forcement of the pure food law thousands
of samples of food products are examined
every year, and many of these examina
tions require the most exacting chemical
experiments. T'sw drugs formerly wsr
brought Into the United Slates In a pura
state, but through the activities of the
bureau of chemistry drug adulteration has
almost ceased. It was Dr. Wiley who
csuiillslietl the now famous "poison
squad," composed of young volunteers
from the various department. They wers)
given free board, agreeing to rat only
such food as was prescribed by Dr. Wiley,
His studies In this direction covered ft
number of years and in a large measure
were responsible for the pure food law now
on the federal statute books.
It Is the province of the bureau of solp
to make surveys of noils In given Coizfc
ii. unities, upon the i crommendatlon of
members of congress. These surveys re
veal hal fertilizers are needed on each
farm and what crops ran he grown most
advantageously. More than 270.0CH) square
miles of agricultural land has been sur
veyed In this way since the InaguKuration
of the work In Iki.1. Seven hundred kinds
of soils have been found on the farms
surveyed. There is little danger of the
farming lands of the nation becoming ex
hausted. This Is shown by the experience
of European countries. In the middle of
the sixteenth century European farms
were producing about as much grain and
buy to the acre as the American farm
pioduces today. Today the European pro
duction is more than twice us great to the
acre as ours. Minute Investigations show
that after a thousand years of crop yield
ing the mlnei alogical composition of the
soils of Europe Is not perceptibly different
from that of similar soils In virgin parts
of the United States.
The bureau of entomology deals with the,
economic relations of the bug creation to
the farm. It has been wrestling with the
gypsy moth and other pests which threaten
to do vast damage. Last year the bureau
cleaned 300 miles of roadway In New Eng
land to make it Imposlble for the moth
caterpillars to fall upon passing vehicles
and thus travel to new fields. It has de
veloped a spraying formula In which ar
senic Is used. It Imports parasites from
other countries for the purpose of preying
upon the pests of various kinds. In ex
change for the parasites which are Im
ported from other countries, the bureau
sends some of ours to those countries.
Lately It hc.s sent lady bug beetles to
Spain to eat the Kpanlsh mealy bug, dog
tick parasites of South Africa, and bum
ble bees to the 1'hllipplnes. The bureau,
works for the subjugation of every harm
ful Insect, and has succeeded largely In
Its efforts.
The relations of man and the animal
kingdom occupy the attention of the bureau
of the biological survey, It strives to as
certain what birds and animals are harm
ful to agriculture and to learn what spe
cies assist the farmer. The bureau Is wag
ing a crusade against rats, mice, ground
sqlrrels, prairie dogs and other rodents. It
has made exhaustive experiments with
traps, baits and poisons. It estimates that
the ground squirrels of California alone de
stroy $lo,000.uoo worth of farm products In
the course of a year, besides being car
riers of the bubonic plague. The bureau
Is encouraging the raising of musk rat and
pronounces their flesh highly edible.' It
has Issued bulletins on such subjects as
deer farming and fox farming. It super
vises the Importation of birds and mam
mals, and has oversight over the fifty-one
bird sanctuaries of the country, Into which
no hunter may go. It also has charge of
the 10,000 acre national bison range.
The bureau of statistics gathers and
publishes the crop statistics of the country-
It has a corps of 135,000 crop re
porters. Their reports are summarised
monthly by a board and carefully guarded
so that the information may not get out
ahead of time. There Is also an office
In charge of the experiment station work
of the country and another which handles
the national phases of good road Improve
ment In the United States.
BT rEDElO J. KAC-XIX.
Tomorrow The Government at Work.
X. Department of Commsros and Labor,
is Her Banting Recipe
Then I straighten up and bend my body
from the hips, sidewlse, Just as far over
as I can. This pulls fat oft the hips, but
you mustn't bend below the hips or It
won't do you any good. Finally I sit
astride a chair, hold the back, which I
face, firmly, and twist around, one way
and then the other, Just as far as I can
without moving on the chair. That thin
the hips.
'It has been a good treatment for me.
and I do It regularly fifteen minutes, morn
ing and night. Nothing Is permitted to In
terfere, and I've taken off twenty-five
pounds this summer, slowly, too, so I
don't feel weak from It."
MARGARET MIXTEM.
WORST Or' ALL.
When oratory fiercely files,
Of tales you have a lot;
And some of them are campaign
lies.
And some, alas, are not!
T. E. M,
Airvrui
I wmnt to itody Esperanto.
Hre you ny lde where I can
"They .peas It la iSobokoa,
fcelkvtr
1
WW
