TIFE BEEi OMAHA, 'VEDNESPAY, OCTOBER 5, 1910. The Omaha Daily Rfx X)UNDED BY EDWAJID ROSE WATER. VICTOR ROSE WATER, EDITOR. FnterMt-at Omaha postoffle cond clam matter. TERMS OK SUBSCRIPTION. Punday Htm. on year US" Saturday Ue. on yoar 1160 I 'ally Hm (without Bundar), on year.. Mm I'ally Be anil Hunday. on year $690 DEUVERED BY CARRIER. Fvenin Bee (without Btinday), per week to Evening Bee (with Simrlay). per week. ...10c lallr Be (Including 8unday). per week.ihc Liallv I (without Sunday), per week. .10c Addreai all complaint of Irregularities In delivery to Ulty Circulation Department. OFFICES. Omaha Th Bee Building. Bouth Omaha Twenty-fourth and N. lounrll Bluff is Hcott Street. Lincoln 61H Little Building. Chlraeo IMS Marauette Building. New Vork Room 1101-110? No. 34 Wrtt Thlrtv-thlrd fitref. Washington Fourteenth Street, N. W. CORRESPONDENCE. "'Communication relating to -new and editorial matter should be addressed: Omaha Bee, Editorial Department. REMITTANCES. Remit by draft, express or postal order payable to The Bee Publishing Company. Only i-cent stamp received In payment of mail account. Personal checks except on Omaha and eastern exchange not accepted STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION, Stat of Nebraska. Douclaa county, s. ; George B. Tzschurk, treasurer of Th Bee Publlxhlng company, being duly worn, says that the actual number of run and complete cople or Th Duy, Morning. Evening and Sunday Bee printed during the month of September, 110, was as roiiowa: 1 4i,t80 It 43,300 . 2 43,870 17 43,970 1 43,130. II ......48,400 4....t 40,000 . It... 4320 S 44,130 tO 43,490 43,630 ..... 43,400 7 43,500 13... 43,400 8 43,680 33 46.640 43,460 34 43,830 10,. 43,370 3S ....43,800 11. .41,000 2 4870 13 43,630 37 44,190 13., 43,800 38 43,660 14., .43,300 29 43,660 16... ...... .43,300 10...' 43,690 ....1,303,370 aiuiivu 443 Net Total , .1,83,683 Pally Arerag 43,117 CrtCO. B, T2SCHUCK, ' ' Treasurer. 6becrtbed ' In my preaeno and sworn to-befor me thl thirtieth day of Bep- tember, 1910. . M. B. WALKER. . , '. 'I Notary Public. Subscribers learlas; th elty teas porarlly shcnld kari The Be sailed to them. Address will be changed a often a requested. .It Is up to Edgar Howard to come across with the goods. ; 'Also, let that word "frazsle". stand for the finish fight In New York. vThe "OJd Guard" would probably make a bit; hit with the Egyptian na tionalist how. : Washington has a new ball player named John Henry. Down the line with you, old hoy. f The census megaphone man . must bl getting ,cloe to Omaha., We have been "prepared to tie bawled out :J v 1 1 ...... v Still,, Senator La ,Follette is not averse to contributions to his maga zine, even for political purposes. Just to hold up Its end of the old 'south, Richmond) shows up with about double its population. Borne progress since the surrender. Mayor Qaynor'a doctor bills come to $3 4,000. Doubtless the mayor will not protest at the hlh cost of living, though, even at that. At any rate, Lincoln still remains subject to the laws governing "cities of the first class having from 40,000 to ,100,000 inhabitants." Mrs. Richard Le Oalllene thinks poets should not marry, a conclusion to which several other poets and poets' wives have come to late in life. "Hew to the line! Let the Saratoga chips fall where they may," was the Washington Herald's advice to the colonel and the chips fell, all right Vivian Lewis is the republicans' nominee for governor in New Jersey. Wow. if the women could. only vote, wouldn't they rally to his standard? Nebraska I not ' likely to to democratic Uil year. Brooklyn Eagle. , ' Sometimes a long distance telescope gives a truer perspective than a close range opera glass. 'That almost make Springfield a ' suburb 0? Chicago," remarks the Chl cagp News. What, the. Lee O'Nell Browne affair, or the aeroplane air line? Cardinal Gibbons registered the other day aa a "republican-democrat." The venerable prelate must have friends running for office on both tickets. "A puppet governor would be intol erable." says the New York World. Yes, that la why the World should help other good agencies to save the state from Boss Murphy's man Dix. The newspapers may yet win the day in their fight to retain that grand old hymn, "From Greenland's Icy Mountains." in the hymnals. In spite of the church's efforts to eliminate it. "When a man goes crazy about the uplift and the larger good, he's Just as crazy as the man who Imagines he's the devil," says the Atchison Globe. Yes, but you cannot make htm be lieve It. - Knowing what the bunch of dis reputables who made up the last Douglas delegation to the democratic) legislature brought down upon us, the question Is, Does Omaha want to re peat the dose by sending the same gang back? Growth in th Middle West. Encouraging at has been the growth In population in the, middle west dur ing the last ten years, it should be much greater in the decade to come. This should be especially true of the Missouri valley country. Peculiar ob stacles have had to be overcome in this section, which are not likely to present themselves again and their elimination can have but the one ef fect of building up population and in dustry alike. Adverse freight and inadequate means of transportation have had a great deal to do with the retarded de velopment in some sections and now that both rates and facilities are more favorable our increase in commerce and industry should be surer and swifter, and, of course, this means growth in population. This view of the situation in the past is not neces sarily an indictment of the transpor tation companies. It is simply admit ting that a system has prevailed that was wrong and under which the best growth and development were Impos sible. The people were to blame .as much as their public servants, the cor porations, for they were too long con tent to abide the system. But in the last ten years much progress toward a better system has been made and we have come to a place now where we should begin to count big results. In the next decade, therefore, our rate of Increase along all lines should be incomparably above that of the period closed. But this Is not the only factor that should contribute to a more rapid and substantial progress. New mar kets have been and will be created and for this the railroads must be given much credit. -They are building new lines off to the west and im proving old 'ones, thus affording quicker communication . between the farm and the market. But back of the railroad is the federal government. It has opened up new territory to set tlement, paving the way fof the rail roads' new lines, opening a hitherto uninhabited domain, supplying It with water for irrigation and live stock and encouraging industry and energy with the prospect of bountiful crops. This, then, is the real power that is working out the destiny of this section, coupled with the quickened Impulse of the people in the cities and towns who see the opportunity of their Uvea to join forces with these neighbors in the country in the upbuilding of this great kingdom of natural wealth. "A Loit Opportunity." Under this caption the Boston Her ald, a democratic newspaper, has a long editorial on the democratic situ ation. In New York, where the'party has prostituted itself abjectly to Boss Murphy and his Tammany cohorts. Other democratic) papers take similar views, the New York Times arraigning the 'democrats In the most caustic terms for their shameful surrender to the corrupt powers of the state. The Brooklyn Eagle, one of the main spokes in the old democratio wheel, not content with venting its disgust at what Murphy did at Rochester, comes out boldly with praise for the republican nominee and platform, say ing: He (Mr. Roosevelt) took the lead, where leadership was wanting and was aeeklng- for him. The result is th Saratoga ticket, which Is strong, and th Saratoga platform, whlou certainly 1 not weak. On the eve of the election the situa tion in New York must Indeed be en couraging to democrats in that and other states, who were counting on the Empire state democrats to furnish the Inspiration for the party at large this fall. They furnished inspira tion, but for Boss Murphy only. It Is a doleful tale for the rest. The Eagle presents the situation In a nutshell by Inference: "The result at Saratoga 1b a strong ticket and a strong platform;" the result at Roch ester Is a weak ticket and a weak platform, the whole Rochester pro ceeding being the best expression of boss rule this country has had for many years. Yet, the New York World alone of all the big eastern democratio dallies praises Boss Murphy's ticket and pre dicts victory. It knows better, or ought to know better. It knows what every other sane paper or man knows, that defeat is the just due of . the dem ocrats who have sold themselves, body and soul, to Tammany for exploitation at the- market place of the powers that corrupt New York politics. Where Will They Retrench t Democrats are making much of the charge of extravagance against repub licans as a campaign argument, lgnor- ing facta of record. They are circulat ing in all their literature and declar ing from the stump that the net ex pense of running the government under the Taft administration is $1, 000,000,000 and that if the democrats should be entrusted with power they would reduce the expense of govern ment by $300,000,000. This is a fair sample of democratic perspicuity. It aluo involves; their sense of honor. In the first place, as President Taft has himself shown from the records, the net expense of running this government is $600,000, 000 and not $1,000,000,000. There fore, If our democratic friends were to conduct the government $300,000,000 less than $1,000,000,000, they still would be squandering $50,000,000 over and above what Is, required by the republican party for guiding the ship of state one year. The statement as to lopping off the $300,000,000. of course, ' is made without any more thought of investigation than pre ceded the false statement that the government was spending $1,000,000, 000 a year. Both are pure fabrications, concocted for campaign purposes only, in the belief that they will serve to fool the people no matter how far from the truth they may be. But President Taft makes the inter esting inquiry. Where would the dem ocrats lop off $300,000,000? Manifestly the elimination of sftch an enormous sum would have to mean the doing away with one of the great functions of government and the question natur ally arises, which one would It be? Would It be the pension list? Would it be the army and navy Would it mean abandoning the Sandwich Isl ands, Porto Rico or the Philippines? Such statements ought to call tor some details of explanation. If the democrats know where $300,000,000 can be saved to the government they owe It to the people to let them in on the secret. The fact of the matter is that with all the tremendous increases in de mands upon the national treasury the republicans have conserved the re sources and kept down expenses to an amazing degree and If anyone Is dis posed to take seriously this demo cratic buncombe, let him turn back the pages of hia political history to the end of the last democratic admin istration and compare the condition of the country and its finances then with those of the present. As to Corporation Candidates. As was to have been expected, The Bee's characterization of the demo cratic ticket as the corporation ticket, and particularly of the nominee for lieutenant governor, who, If elected, might become governor, and the nomi nee for railway commissioner, in both of whom the corporations would have an especial interest, has gotten a quick rise out of the democratic World-Herald, whose editor and chief proprietor is the corporation candidate for United States senator. The World-Herald professes to be exceptionally Incensed that we should refer to Ralph A. Clark, whom the democrats have put up for lieutenant governor, as. "the bellwether of the corporation lobby In the late legisla ture." Mr. Clark may have all the admirable personal traits his friends claim for him, but that does not con trovert our assertion as to Mr. Clark's intimate assoclaton with the corpora tion hirelings In the lobby. On this point we have plenty of distinguished democratic testimony. The lobby had It all fixed to make Mr. Clark speakef, and would have succeeded had not Edgar Howard rushed to Lincoln and notified the democratic members that they would not dare face their con stituents when they went home if they thus turned over the house organiza tion to the corporations. ' .. The . World-Herald ' Is .only slightly less Incensed' over ' our reference to that "generous and modest man," Ben Hayden, bb having served as the "trusted lieutenant of the notorious Tobe Castor of legislative oil room fame" and as being entitled 'to be trusted again by the railroads If he should make the commissionershlp. On this point we also have good testi mony from sources which the World Herald should not impugn. We quote an item written by that eminent re former, T. H. Tlbblos, once of the W.-H. editorial staff, and printed In the Nebraska Independent when It was the official populist organ: One Ben Hayden I aspiring to the posi tion of clerk of th supreme court. Is this the same Benjamin that Tobe Castor manipulates? If so, he ha about as much chance to be appointed as Marcus Hanna. Tobe I to Nebraaka politics what Marcus Is to national politics, rotten to the core. Just now this Benjamin la in the employ of a trust, and neither Judg Sullivan nor Judge Hoi comb I dealing Iff that kind of cattle. It would indeed be a fine thing if, under cover of all this dust raised over county option, the most impor tant offices in the state house could be captured on a sneak for subservient corporation tools. The action of the people of Los An geles is a fairly good Illustration that foul play is not condoned by anybody in this country- Regardless of their former attitude toward General Otis and the Times In their relation to la bor unions they were combating, the people of that and other California cities are . one and all Intensely aroused over the dastardly crime per petrated and determined to have the murderers brought to. justice. An admirer of Mayor "Jim" tries to make the point that Omaha before he took office was in no respect as clean and law-abiding as it Is now. No one will deny that Omaha has steadily and steadfastly Improved in morals and In respect for law as well as in business and in building construction since, as well as before, "Jim" occupied the mayor's chair, but it has not been "Jim's" fault. It la a coincidence that Detective W. J. Burns, who aided F. J. Heney, so bitterly condemned by the Los An egles Times id his work against the grafters in San Francisco, should lead the search for the murderers who blew up the Times' plant and killed twenty one of Its employes. The race for presidential nomina tion between Gubernatorial Candidate Wood row Wilson and Gubernatorial Candidate Judson Harmon becomes more interesting every day. It is a case where distance lends enchant ment. The financial troubles of the repub lican campaign managers aeem to at tract a great deal of attention from contemporary democratic organs. The managers of the democratic campaign In Nebraska this year have no finan cial troubles. The brewers have al ready put In liberally in various ways, and there Is plenty more where that comes from. The Kansas City Star is urging In surgent republicans who may be mem bers of the next regular house to ac cept the leadership of Champ Clark. Piffle! And besides, it will be time to accept the leadership of Champ Clark when the democrats have a clean bill to control of the next house and not until then. Rewards aggregating $100,000 are offered for the conviction of the Los Angeles dynamiters. Omaha's late attempted bomb outrage, which was pregnant with similar deadly disaster, did not even arouse an indignation meeting. .x Will the Pullman Car company re store that $8,000 of which some of Its passengers were robbed? Why not, the passengers have for years been paying the help employed In the Pullman sleepers and diners their wages in tips. Lincoln has 43,973 Inhabitants, ac cording to official census figures, an increase for the decade of 9.5 per cent. If anyone suggests that going dry has held Lincoln back, shoot him on the spot. ' King Ak-Sar-Ben draws no party lines among his subjects. Repub licans, democrats, populists, prohibi tionists and socialists are alike wel come to participate In his splendid fes tivities. Science In m Kindly Mood. Chicago News. Trust science to rise to every emer gency. It says we are all going Insane from living in flats, and now a French sur geon Is going to Jiaw open our heads and scrape away the foolish fancies. Ckaslaa; a Rainbow. Philadelphia Leader. Certain aliens have decided to possess themselves of a fortune of 836,000,000 sup posed to be ownerless In New York. With no desire to discourage them, it Is fair to remark that fortune of this magnitude seldom are overlooked by native talent. Element of Proarre. Washington Post. The clergy dlsagre as to religion; the doctors disagree as to disease; the actors disagree as to art, aa do the painters; the critic disagree as to letters, and the states men disagree as to their craft and hence the hysteria our country undergoes every Urn somebody Is to be elected to office and every day congress convenes to solon le. Railroad Freight Rate Case. Indlannapoli News. A stopping place must be found some place in the progress of increasing the freight rate tax, and a far as th testi mony of the railroads has gone there is nothing to show that now is not the proper time n,n4 place. The railroad bus iness Is undoubtedly going to Increase and increase stad)ly, but ther 1 no reason why It should ' be permitted to be the bonanza it has been in the past in so many instances. . PERSONAL NOTES. The New York Sun shines for Dix and abandons Oyster Bay to Its fate. Campaign activities are quite marked In Massachusetts. Ezeklel M. Ezeklel has broken Into the gam and a crematory just finished at Springfield Is ready for emergency work. Pike county, ' Missouri, has taken to bulldog aeroplanes and Is preparing to develop a race of aerial Jim Bludaoes who will hold her noxzle agin a cloud till the last galoot' ashore. Hurray for Pike. Miss Elizabeth Gothenour is the oldest tobacco' farmer in Lancaster (Pa.) county. She ha passed her 8d birthday. She planted her crop, attended to it dur ing th growing period, eut it, strung It on laths, and placed it in her tobacco shod, asking no assistance. Fred Oebhard seems to have come pretty near the end of his resouroes, for a club man of note, when he neared the end of his lit. His estate amount to only $10, 000. Time waa when h spent mora than that a" month on the Jersey Lily,' a cir cumstance which may account for his comparatively lmpeounloua condition when he died. On account of hi advanced age and un certain health. General Samuel C. Law rence of Massachusetts has resigned as sovereign grand commander of the su preme council of thirty-third degree Boot tiah Rita Masons. General Lawrence took th office upon the resignation of Judg Palmer in IMS for three yeara, with th understanding that he could resign at the clou of any year.. Our Birthday Book Ootober 5, mo. Jonathan Edwards, th celebrated Purl tan clergyman, was born October 5, 1703, at Windsor, Conn., and 'died in 176S. Mis preaching and writings are said to hav had great influence on th colonial life of New England. Chester A. Arthur, president of the United States, was born October , 1830, In Frank lin county, Vermont. He was elected vice president on the ticket with Garfield and served out his unexpired term, but waa unable to secure th nomination for him self. Frank II. Hitchcock, postmaster general, is JuBt U. .ill was born in Amherst, New Hampshire raised In Wisconsin and edu cated at Harvard As chairman of the republican national committee he managed the successful campaign which landed Mr. Taft in th White House. Jacob L. Jacobson waa born October 6, 1858, 111 Sweden, coming to America In 1882. He started in the manufacturing jewelry business her in 1890. He is a candidate for th School board on th republican ticket to be voted on at the coming elec tion. B. J. Scannell, real estate, I year old today. He waa bora at Lawrence, Mass., and Is secretary and treasurer of the Paxtun Realty company and also sec retary of the Burgess-Granden company, dealing in ga and electrlo fixture. Charlea M. Eaton, secretary of the Omaha Stove Repair Works, which be organised in 183, Is 1 today. Hi was born In Doyle town, O., William Kelly, assistant superintendent of delivery In the Omaha postofflce, was born October I, VM at Youngstown, O. He is an aeeountant by profession, but aeut Into th postofflce department la Around New York Mnie a ta Cu treat f X-tf M im la th arat aVsaertoaa Mstro polls treat Say The return of Mayor William J. Oaynor to his official duties i a source of gratifi cation to all ritlsens. His physical oondl tlon is not as robust as could be wished. but la mending rapidly. A supreme test of his strength Is approaching, however, and if he bears the ordeal with patience all will be well. Medical Journals are already dlsousslng the, bills of th doctors, hinting as to their else f and discussing the ad vlsablllty of , the city footing the bills. Thst course Is the proper one. The assault was rommltted not because the victim waa William J. Gaynor, but because he Is the mayor and caused the discharge of th would-be assassin. Th United States gov ernment paid th doctors' bills, amounting to (45.000, Incurred In connection with th assassination of President McKlnley. -dos sil) In New York medical circles ha It that the Gaynor doctor will Send in bills aggregating $34,000, covering three week or more of attendance, as against only one week in th McKlnley case. It I also said that th bills will b sent to Mr. Gaynor and not to the city. But bills of any such amount as that will be sent In the notion that th city will pay them and not Mr. Gaynor personally. Ha I not a multl millionaire and only they could stand such charge for a brief medical attendance. General Funston's experience In a hotel In Kansas City, in which h would not re main because a bellboy wor th uniform, of a captain of th United States army, had a precedent In this city at a' hotel which was for a long rime a popular resort for army officers. The head bellboy ther also wor a uniform much like that of th regular army and captain' shoulder straps. One evening a guest called the "captain" aside, took a penknife from his pocket and with a few quick strokes stripped off on of th shoulder straps. He handed It to th astonished servant and said: "Give this to the proprietor with my compliments and tell him to take off the other strap, and that if he continues to dress his boys In United States uniform I shall see that the law against that practice is enforced." The man was a graduate of West Point and had grown old in the service. The offense 1 punishable In New York state by a fine of $100. Sol Jerkowskl, a promoter, who I a frequent guest at a New York hotel, called the clerk over th phone. "I want you to send up fifty cases of win and ten live chickens to my room right away," said Jerkowskl. "All right." said the clerk, and before he had recovered from the shock th phone rang again, and Jerkowskl added: "Send up a couple of taxlcabs and $600." "What do you want $600 forT" asked the clerk. "To end to my wife. She plays the goose In Morris' barnyard production. They are In Cincinnati, and I think she needs the money." "All right, everything will be right up. Leave the door open so they can be car ried in," answered the clerk. The door was open' when a policeman and an ambulance surgeon arrived to take Jerkowskl to the psychopathic ward in Bellevue, where he is held for ob servation. If a certain stowaway had - not spent his lonely hours in th hold of th Royal Crown, a British freight steamship, in teaching a cockatoo bow to talk h might hav evaded discovery. How th cock atoo betrayed; 1 hi stowaway, friend by th utterance of one magic word waa told by Martin Malcolm, second engineer of the ship, which arrived In New York from a far east port. Malcolm bought th bird a year ago and named him Tlddledewlnks. He hung the bird on a perch In on of th upper com partment of th after hold. He was sur prised a week after the ship had left Singapore by being greeted one morning as he entered the hold with a shout of "Hello!" He inquired among the crew whether any one had been teaching Tlddledewlnks th English language, but all the men denied any acquaintance with th bird. So Malcolm told hi theory to th chief engineer. "Marvelous!" th chief engineer ex claimed. "But I'll bet you've gtieased wrong." "Come and see," Malcolm replied. He led the chief engineer to th hold, where they were greeted with loud hello by Tlddledewlnks. Malcolm's reply was a brisk call of: "Come out of there, you stowaway. We know where you are." And the stowaway cam forth. He pointed to Tlddledewlnks and saldy "If that bird had held his tongue you'd never have found me. I taught him to talk and then he betrayed me." Policeman Kiernan appeared before Magistrate Freschl In the Harlem court with David Mac Lean. , McLean desired to complain against Bernard Levy for keeping a goose in his apartment "Why do you keep the goose?" Inquired Magistrate Freschl.. "It Is to fatten. Your Honor," explained Levy, "to fatten for the great feast next Tuesday." "Ahem." said Magistrate Freschl; "it seems to me this Is a very complicated case. Here Is an Irish policeman, with a Scotch complainant who wants to make Information against a Jew before an Italian magistrate. The only thing I can se to do In this case is to postpone It for on week, and in the meantime we will allow the defendant to eat th evidence." Mar Weiss, Hungarian by birth and for the last flv year resident of East Sharon, Pa., arrived by th Hamburg American liner, Pennsylvania, with seven children, three girls and four boys, the former in blue and the latter In khaki. He is an enthusiastic American In sentiment, although not quit a cltisen. When the children came down the gang plank he put the girls on one side and th boy on the other and said to them: "Children, this Is th land of th free. Salute your futur country." Thereupon th boy took off their hat and waved them and th girl courtasled. The eldest of th children I U and th youngest, twins, are 4. Haiuillatlna Annsynne. Emporia (Kan.) Gasett. General Funston object to th practice of having hotel employe uniformed Ilk major general, and hi stand will be In dorsed by both soldiers and civilian. It Is decidedly annoying to mistak a ballboy or headwalter for the commander-in-chief of th land force of the United State. THE KICKING GAME. Carolyn Wills In Judg. When earth' last player la Injured, and his bones are broken and cricked. When the oldest tackier Is battered, and the youngest kicker Is whacked, We shall rest, and, faith! w shall need it sit down for an hour or two Till th Master of all Uood Player shall set us to play entw. Then those that mad good shall be happy; they shall kick at a golden ball, And break every rule that s issued, and never get hurt at all; But each with his special method, and each with his separate feint. Shall kick toe ball as he s It, for th Uau of Rule aa they ain't. Fifty Yczra V (CMEAIV3 no a PTniWE. mm A Crcnm of Tartar Powder r.lzzlo From GrspoG no ALUM SMILING REMARKS. "Speech la silver." Quoted the man with th leveled chin. "Yes," said the man with the prognathous face; "most of it Is worth about cents on the dollar." Chicago Trlbun. "I'm th victim of a svstem." exclaimed the gloomy man. "What system?" "My own. I have rlvsnensla half the time." Buffalo Express. Bhe What makes you ssv you can't get bread now Ilk your mother used to make? He I suppose for the same reason thnt men do a great many thine because my father said It before m. Baltimei Ameri can. "It was noble of vou to lumn in and save your worst enemy from diownlng." "wen, I cant ciaim mucn credit. I had Just been rending the swimming article that tell vml It Is tn a vnA struggles with a drowning man by giving $100. REWARD Some dealers sell inferior imit ations even when the customer distinctly orders RUBEROID ROOFING. Consequently, we offer $100. for information lead- ing to the conviction of jany person - selling; an inferior imitation on the representation that it is RUBER OID ROOFING. I Yon can always tell Ruber old Roofing by the Trade Marks (shown here) which are outside every roll and stamped on every 7 feet of the material. "Be careful. There are imitations of Trxl, 1st Ba. V. S. It. R O O F I RUBEROID THE STANDARD PAINT COMPANY MANUFACTURERS GEHERAL OFFICES: 100 WILLIAM STREET, NEW TflKK CKIOAOO, bt. VAxrt., rSXXta.SEZ.rHXA, 'Everybody Relies on The Dell Directory Thirty-five thousand Bell Telephone directories for Omaha, South Omaha and Council Bluffs have arrived and are being delivered. These books weigh more, than IS tons,' and If placed end to end would eitend more titan 83 elty blocks, or If piled upon one another Mould reach 100 time a hlg-h mm the New City National Ilauk Building. f When the new directories are delivered all of the old one will lie taken up, and our patrons are asked to co-'' V operate with our employe by having the old books- , ready to turn in when they are railed for. ' tlio Gtsndsrd mm him a hard punch on the Jaw. I simply couKln t resist the temptation." Washing ton Star. Rastus For the love of heben, Sambo, what fer you got you 'alls pant turned wrong side beiore-mos'? Sambo 8I1! 1-on't talk so loud. You see, Is Invited to a swell reception to nlRlit. r.n-1 I s gettln' de bulge out n de knees. Buccess. e Maud What would you do If you married a man nnd found he couldn't clothe you properly? Ethel I'd pack away my wedding dres and get out my divorce suit. Boston Tran script. "What's the charge against these two men?" inquired the nolle" Justice. "They were havln' a quarrel over a busted auto tire, your honor," answered the officer. "Well, we ll let them ratoh It up them selves," said his honor with a slgnt clos ing of his left eyelid. "Call the next case." Chicago Tribune. over 300 6 k OffiM N G -arcs XAxrgAS cm, bxstyxb, BOST02T. r. NEBRASKA TELEPHONE CO. A. F. MoAJama, Local Managtn