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Cosmopolitan Omaha is Haven for Uncle Sam's Retired Sailor Boys
Ilk . ' r, ; . ' t. . ill
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gjaval gjeberans .gbserve JJemorial QJay
HIP ahoy." exclaimed a stalwart
"hearty" an ha iwung gracefully
through the densely packed 6
o'clock crowds at Sixteenth and
Farnam, whereat there c ame
back by way of answer from
S
somewhere In tho throng a cheery "Aye, aye.
air," and that, too. In a city aa remote from
salt water aa it la possible to find remote
ness within United States boundary linen.
It waa merely on exchange of hailing sig
nals between two ex-sallors now anchored
In Omaha a little Incident common enough
which brings tho fact out that although
Omaha Is far Inland aa to location, Its cos
mopolitan texture Includes a touch of the
nautical not ordinarily found In cities of
the Omahc lasa.
Take a map of the United States, place a
tacit on -Omaha, then measure the distance
from that tack to the nearvt point on the
Clulf of Mexico, the Atlantic and the Pa
cific oceans, and you will find that Omaha
la Just' about aa far from salt water as it
Is possible to get, on the North American
continent. . ,
And yet, despite Omaha's remoteness
fror.i shipyards and ship channels, there Is
large representation o sea-going men
hereabouts, which fact grves supplemental
attest to Omaha's claim of Cosmopolitan-
ism. Recruiting Officer William T. 'Coetes
of the L'nlted States naval recruiting sta
tion, headquarters In the federul building,
this city,. estimates that at least 300 ex-navy
men are now living in Omaha. Of these,
sixty have Joined an organization known as
the Naval Veterans, which has been or
ganised recently In ' Omaha by Officer
Coatea and his associate. Officer lienson.
Many others have signified their Intention
of Joining and Mesnrs C'oates and Benson
hopo eventually to ' bring every ex-navy
man In town Into the association. Just now
there Is no apparent practical side of tho
nuval veterans' organization, but the old
adage, "In time of pence prepare for war,"
Is ever the slogan of Uncle Sam, and In
the event that some troublcsomo nation
Short Stories and
Hnmmertlme Job.
.T WAS a hot evening following
a regular old scorcher of a duy
and Cacy nnd tub family wero
fitting out on the front porch
trying to keep cool.
"Sure 't was an awful day In
the kitchen," said Mrs. Casey.
"I have t'- smile when I hear ye com
plulnln' about the heat, for as a matther
tv fact yo don't know what heat Is," said
Cusey.
, "Oh. don't I ngw?" said Mrs. Cas-ey.
"Sure, I'd change places wld you anny day,
for while I'm workln' over a hot cook
stove all day I'm thinkln' Iv th' fine pic
nic you're bavin' workln' down there In
I hot ti'ee cool sewer." Muck's National
Monthly. '
Xotklnsr In a Xante.
"Did you ever hear the story about the
Irishman who waa caught in a crap gamo
raid with some Chlntte.'" said Captain
Carroll of the Newark tN. J.) df.uctlve bu
reau. "It happened not so very long ato
in the First prech'.ct.
- "The plain clotln a men had been sent cut
tu investigate, a crap game somewhere In
Market atreet. T;uy Lrouuht In flv Cnl
nesa and Mike Kclley, au Irishman. Of
course they wore all l.ned up l-i cuuit the
next morning In frunl of a roo.urul ut
spectators.
" 'What's your name?" atked the judga of
thrt first of tnc prisoners.
" "One Lung," suij the man.
" 'One L.ur.g, you ro fiuttl $10. And your
name?"
" "Ong 1 o."
"Tho other throe gavo their ii:in-.cs as
tfinjv llu. Wuh He and Foo Oee.. llach was
fired Jl'A Tl-.en It c:r tli Irishman'.! tur.i.
l.i'U.J uu: uall. bui atop, vu up tj t.ie
desk.
" Your name?'
" I). i, h ! Here' ycur $!0. Never m.nd
the ii.i:ne.' "Newark Star.
lli:trit am! I'mdener,
Thu (or.tiadictions of life are many. An
u''ki'iiiii n. an re.uaikcd recently that t;o
a liowimv about a ceilula city bquare
when ho cm upon u drinking fou italn
I Uh bore to conf lictirg inscripilous.
One, the original inscriiion on the foun
tain, was fiom ill j WkIc: "And whoso
ever will. In him t.iko tho waUr ot life
freeiy."
Abovu tlii buns a placard: vpieuso do
not waste the watr."
lljorimon'a Wit nnd Vtlidnu.
"Itjornaljern BJomn, In his hotel front
lag t!ie Tuilieries gtrduna. ivceived a lew
friends up to the luttt In Pan," said the
contmenul agent of u typewriter firm.
''I had the honor to bo anions those
friends and I never wearied of the great
Noikeinan'a wit end wrxdom.
"Th liutt thing he said to ni. In cau
III
across the waters should in the course of
time need chastising, the naval veterans
would come handy as a supplement to the
regular naval forces.
What are these naval veterans doing
In Omaha now?. Have, they lost their sea
legs so that they cm walk like a land
lubber ought to walk? Do they find con
tentment away from the rocking motion
of the shi;?
These are" rome of the -questions that
naturally come to mind in connection with
these 200 ex-iailors who now pilot them
selves through crowded down town streets,
dodging automobiles and other vehicles of are nine out of ten that the ne'ghbor
death that defy speed limits and cheaper across the alley whiBpers to the neighbor
human ll. across the next alley, that Mrs. SoondHo's
What they are doing now la civil life, ou"ht to be Put ln h- navy-
i. . . , .,i,ki- Omaha not long ago a boy was tried and
space in this log book, for their occupations
are varied. Some of them have made
records In the commercial world. Others,
more inclined to the happy-go-lucky side
of life, are content to plod along with a
dally wage coming due at week's end.
As to contentment on ' terra k firtna, the
answer Is mixed some - are contented,
others are not. But. one fact does stand
well established, and that la that every
member. cft. the YOtran,.o-unUutlon.. no
matter how'Tlrmly 'ri-ifn.a!' be .anchored
ln Omaha, finds keen' delight ln living
over again his seagoing days,' and' meetings-of
toe veterans, fere always veil at-,
tended.
The estimated 00 former seamen does not
Include, it must be remembered, the ordi
nary sailor. Only men who were once en
listed ln Uncle Sam's navy are taken Into
account by the estimate herein given. If
seamen of all classes were counted, the
total would ui douttedly be materially in
creased. . . .
It Is generally supposed by those who
have not properly informcu themselves that
getting into the naVy is easy. When a bad
boy becomes so Incorrigible that home re
straint la no longer effective, the chances
tioning n.e not to give un Important Pro
vencal cj;e. cy to an ensy-golng man of the
world, was this:
" 'Bc-vubre .f th casy-geing man. An
easy-guina man, you know,- is one who
makes the path of life very rough and dif
ficult for somebody else," Detroit Freo
Press.
inuall's Enjoyed Thin Our.
The late John J. Ingalls, linked States
senator from Kansas, once tcid with great
glee the story of a Juke ut his own expense,
Clio humor of which, however, he enjoyed
aa keenly as If he had not been the vic
tim of I..
"I went, one evening," said Mr.Inga!ls, .
"to make a political speech In a small
town. I presume the people thought I ,
would have difficulty ln filling an'hour; at
any rate.-they callod upon th village choir
to assit-C
"1 tiun that the hymns were selected
before my arrival, but of that t cannot
be uuro. I know that before tho talk the
rhilr Fang 'Uhut Shall the Harvest Be?'
and after it, 'Nothing But Leaves.' "
Y'ou.h'a Co.npanlon.
Left Ueblurf.
The late John Q. A. Ward, the noted
sculptor, was in his youth a fax.ous rider.
At tiio Century club ln New Yoik a brother
culijt-,r said the other day:
"Ward oncii undertook to teach Blank,
the etcher, to ride. Blank was game, and
Ward the first week had him taking low
fences.
"Ti en Blank's conceit got the better of
him and he went at a high, dangerous
Jump. Of course hn was shot out of tho
raddle, lie sonnrsaulud over the fenc
and landed In the next field on his head.
"Ward, huirjlng up, said, to , j.'JCM,
Blank's feelings:
" 'Splendid Jump, old man". Xone Just th
way I do It myself. Only- '
"Here Ward smiled.
" 'ouiy, you know, I always nianauc to
tal.o tno horse over with m.' "New York
Tlnms. ,
What th.? II4 Vrn Dli1.
The old vetcan had pausnd In Ms r lu
ll: iscer.ee and as mopping hia brow wiiiio
his autilrnre v.alted Inite.t1er..:, tliiukiug
ho had left off.
i "I .. recollect,' he continued drea.-nlng,
"that at lha tittle of Arms I hid a very
excitln' time, ulieta werj u(tln' uinw
uk lik rain, men fell rliht aad !ct. cinnrsr,
1 1. ied like thunder Itself, ani, v
all the enemy had managed to get within a
hundred yard rf our position. I waa mad.
with excitement and wasn't thinkln' of any
thing exi t pi Just fightln' for all I was
worth. All of a xuJOen I turned and found
that my i-iment had chinned its position
and 1 was cut off-left to the mercy of th
enemy, air!"
Tli taterun paused: he always does at
the inott exeHlng part; he fl:ius It ainusiim
ft.
tdentifiCahoro
acquitted of a crime, alhough there seemed
to be a preponderance of evidence against
him. Despite the fact that he was ac
quitted, and admitting his -Innocence of the
specific charge upon which he was tried,
the evidence established beyond doubt that
he is what Che world at large catalogues as
a "young tough."
Frlonds and relatives trembled at the
Roster
. . .,.. .
C. C. Dodd, C. 3. Carlton, ' . K. A. Chambers," M. Roberta,
R. H. Chapman, J. E. Zimmerman, H. P. Haae, R. Stefan,
C. F. Long. ' J. S. Lamkln, - C. C. Savage. Thomas Wegworth,
J. J. White. ' W. T. Coates. R- V. Learning, H. u. Heustls.
O. F. Gear, G. E. Selander, J. C. Jensen. H. B. Ableson,
J. C. Kelm. ' ' C. T. Pitman, L. A Talbert. - W. A. Bell, i
J. 3. Batsch, G. H. Allwlne. K. L. Benson. R. McKamau,
Thomas Moore. C. F. Wells, R. H. B shop, W. M. Peterson,
A. C. Hays. M. Smiles, CharlfS Sadelik, A. Kemper,
Gus Sorenson, Joseph Gilhau.t, (J. R. Bailey, F. . H. Greener,
G. H Sorenson. - U B. Sliaj er. C A. Eroberg, A. R. Shui-rer.
K. Lueginberger, Nell Smith, J. BorghofC, v. I,. Hackett.
P. T. Murphy, I U. J. Emery, John A. Joyce,
Coincidences Concerning People of Prominence
"Weil, what did you do?" asked an im
patient listener. ' .
"Do?" said the old fellow sleepily. "Well,
I reckon I did a mil In three minutes!"
St. Paul Dispatch.
Hum Ulythe'a Wler'd "Cony."
One has often heard of famous examples
of noted geniuses whose handwrlilng has
been as enigmatic as a rebus, but it has
remained for Samuel G. BJ.vthe. the well
known political correspondent at Washing
ton, to establish a similar reputation for
typewriting. Apart from his achievements
in literature, relates the American Maga
zine. Blythe la famed throughout the land
Tent
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Till-: -OMAHA SlIAY I'.Klv. .TH,Y
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V
thought "of responsibility Incident - to- ths
boy's release. Of course they were In a
way glad of his acquittal, yet they had
due forebodings ns to what the future held
foi' the lad, whereat the family lawyer
Wished to the rescue with the suggestion
that the young man be put in the navy.
Thereupon the local reprenentatlves of
th- navy "battered down their hatches" and
In a figurative sense turned a thlrten-lnrh
gun upon the prospective candidate for
naval honors.
"Just because a boy's in disrepute on
land Is no reason why he is u fit subject
for tho navy," said Officer Coatea, "and it
should be remembered that the uavy is
not a reformatory. The standard of moral
ity In the navy and the Integrity of sea
going people In general m fully as high as
among landsmen. Of course In days gone
by, there was such a thing as pirate craft
and we could hardly exptct a high code of
morals from pirates, but time has eliminated
tho pirate kind on sea ln fact, mn.it of
the pirates ln ex'stence nowadays are land
pirates and the navy does not Invite any
bu clean, high minded young men. Sons
of some of the best families in Nebraska
have Joined the navy through our recruit
ing office, and after I have told, these
r.j A Ife-f
: . 1 i ' i, .i VViCe
r iisuimsiiii assasaaaaawaJMBMMajasjiiiwiiajiasj!! 'a8 I f v.
K ft. JS aM
of Omaha Naval Veterans
aa one whose typewriting Is worse than his
penmanship. The machine ho uses had Its
genesis in Buffalo seventeen years ago
when .he was learning to pot small game
on the Buffalo Express. No living man has
ever solvid his method of producing copy,
but from a page of his manuscript It Is
safe to conclude that ho adjusts a sheet
of foolscap In his typewriter, climbs tu a
position on the top of his demand then
falls on the machine.
Ills office is In the Home Life building',
not far from the treasury,, but he can be
heard writing as far away as the iusano
asylum across the Potomac. There is noth
ing Impressionistic about his copy. He
Home for' Sick Babies
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CAMP MAINTAINED ET THE OMAHA VISITING NLRSKi' ASSOCIATION.
10. IfMO.
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mothers the advantage. their sons arc to
derive from navy service. It would hardly
be consistent for us to admit youths fur
thu solo reason that they are too tough to
keep out of the penitentiary if allowed to
remain on land.
"The standard of the navy Is on the up
lift rather than otherwise, nnd oach year
sees marked Improvement In the character
of recruits. It has never been my pleasure
to witness a finer aggregation of bright
young fellows than the oncd we. iive en-
writes with firm touch. When William
Loeb, Jr., was bossng the White House dur
ing Roosevelt's term h received from Mr.
Blythe a letter which ho was quite un
able to read. Loeb took It over to the ex-'
perts In the patent office, where all hands
passed It up. Next It was set before the
correspondents in the senate press .gallery.
They ijuit to a man. Loeb then off-Ted IK)
to anybody who could decipher the epistle.
Sum's Immediate family and the editor of
tho Saturday Kvening Post being barred
from the contest. Nothing happened ln the
way of a solution. Then the. family was
invited to get in, after which the gates
were let down to tho editor of the Saturday
-1
?; tm - ;
9
1 . t, J iff I
? Group of Naval VeleraiisfRxOfil
Benson in Iore$ronncL
listed here. for me personally,! am
I'roud that I am a part of Uncle Sam's
navy, and I believe every other man who
wcai'H the uniform is Imbued with the same
patriotic feeling. Then It naturally follows
that we wish to keep the navy clear of bad
material."
Gettlns back to the subject of "putting"
tho boy In the navy, It must be. noted here
and now that it Is not left either to the
boy or his parents or the' pull of his political
friends to do tho "putting." Undo Sam
has trusted employes who attend to that.
- If the buy Is to be "put" in the navy thete
representatives of the government do it.
only after they have satisfied themselves
as to the fitness of the candidate. The
rulos of entry are rigid. H is difficult to
get in, and even more difficult to get out, naval-veterans, wmcn are nerewiui repro
for fixture of purpose is one of the lessons duced, it will be observed that although
that Uncle Sam teaches his boys. Tho tier- these men are not now In, th navy, they
leal preliminaries Incident to Joining the are garbed in sea toggery. Fact Ja, when
navy are much more elaborate than Is they quit the navy they carried thelr
generally presumed, and a description of raiment with them, for Unci Sam classes
the applicant Is so closely recorded that If it a the personal property of th waaxer.
he ever deserts there is but littlo chance of As a general rule, the clothing 1 kept as
escaping detection. For identification tho souvenirs of sea-going days, thu Whan
thumb print system is used, and it . Is Omaha naval veterans wera call4 t on
agreed by experts that no ti thumb prints parade last Decoration day, thajr foun4
In the entire world are exactly alike. Navy it easy to again take on navy uniform,
discipline is strict, yet not severe. The Thu word "veteran" la usually guppqa
food is wholesome and the training al the to suggest age, but that deflnltloa U
way through inclines to make a self-reliant rotieous in this instance, for many of th
man out' of an awkward shambling boy. naval veterans-- majority, 1a fact ar
Once a sailor always a sailor is a saying yourg men who1 went to aea as fcoya umi
that Isn't borno out by the number-of ex- retired t;i civil, life In their early twenties,
sullors now in Omaha. There is, however. So. even' though. Omaha is an Inlaad' city,
a large percentage of young men who re- tho corn crib of , the nation, a llv atou'.c
enlist after their first period of service, and market of International Importance, ft place
In some instances men spend their whole where there is more plows and cultivators
lives in the navy as enlisted members pf . sold than any other section of th world
the crew. yes. In spite, of all that goes to tnal:
Tlu re Is an Indescribable something about On.aha the entrepot of the landlubber,
the walk of a man who has had naval there is .none tho kss a cosmopolitan aide,
training that marks him as different from and the chances are that in any larg
others, and once this graceful sea swing is crowd a "ship ahoy" will bring back, at
acquired, It remains forever, but or rar
Kvening Post. The mystery remained a
mystery still. Eureka! Ask Sam to read 111
Sam tried. Don't laugh. It was placed on
exhibition In the White II. rase. Wu Ting
fang declared It to be a fragment from the
odes of a Chinese poet who lived prior to
There to Hold tae Crowd.
Sevtn kings rode, each gorgeously uni
formed. In the procession ln honor of the
late ' King Edward, report Collier's
Coiifuiius.
Weekly. Ex-President Roofevelt, lu even
ing dress and a pained expression, was
shut Into a closed landau, back of all the
kings and prlncelots and such. Selli Bul
lock didn't like this a bit, but he could
explain It satisfactorily.
I remember." said lie. "bringing a
bunch of cowboys to Roosevelt's Inaug
uration. When I got tho program I saw
wo were way bock In tho proceh-only tho
Harvard students and some southern re
publican marching clubs behind us. I
knew the boys would kick because iey
weren't up with the band, so I hiked
around to the White house. You know
hov T. It. guesses what's In your mind
before you have a chance to open your
head? Weil he spoke light up: l know
what you're here for. Setli. But don't you
ir.ake any kick about our place In ths
parade It was arranged tor a. purpose.
Everybody 1 In Washington to see thoso
cowboys. If you wero well up lu front
the people wouldn't stay to see the rest
of the procession. You and the buncli
are put where you are to hold the crowd.'
"That' my explanation of this business
here," continued Captain Bullock. "They
put T. K. back of a Chink and before tin:
Chin of thu I! deliamber at the tall of
tiic procession Just to hold tho crowd."
'I ark Juutou'M Pawpaw JoLr,
Booth TniUlngtoii told kT other day the
Story of a Joke that fell flat. In one of
liia sucoc?fiil plays the American hero H
diMCovcrttd In lull: ulth an KnglMiuiuii.
to whom lie 1 giving a vnaeioifs descrip
tion of Indiana.
".Ynil wlint haw is your big same in
JiiiiiuiuV" nks the ICiiglh-hman.
"Pawpuvvs." said the American, sinilr
lessly. "You ought to see our pawpaw
pri f-ei cs."
U.ll, tint get a bis laiigli fiom the
average American niidience, although it
I.- rot being used in New York, where
the typical American xtill takes off his
hut when lie sees a policeman, and dancs
on it at. the name of the czar. But in
tho original form that Joke had a skeleton
of fact re-enforcing It. "Jim" Stuu-sman
I'm not absolutely eure of the spelling of
that name but, anyhow, Jim Stutesman
was u politician of Peru, lud. Vlnliinir
Tiiikington In Paris un on occasion, he
e . o'.iiitttecl a haw-haw Knglichnian of tho
type thu ui.thor made of In his pluv.
Siiiiesinaii told tin- Eiigllshinuii that he
canto from P"'ru, lud. "Haw a'a, Peru,''
ald that liHlbidua!. blandly. "Donu iu
f
more practical value than.thls graceful walk!
is the habit of. method which is Initllled.
T! ere is'., a ceHain tlma to arrtv In
the morning, a certain time, to eat,
a certain time to go to. bed a
certain time for everything, and avery
tiling . must be done In time. Thus
shlpshod hablta so common among land-
lubbers, are broken and the ex-navy man.
wnen
he retires from the sea and oi
bae'e to business life, has a valuubl asset
In the training lie has taken on. Mora- .
over, the average attache, no matter If li
he a mere private, acquires a knowledge
of the world, both from reading and travel
which he probably would never acqulr In
any other way.
In the half-tone photographs of Omaha
least cne aje, ae,u.
South America, ya'us. And . what is your
principle big game?"
"jncas." said Mr. Stutesman, without a
blush. ''We often go out lnca shooting.
I have a SJ.OOO-acre lnca preserv ln Peru."
"Incus," said the Englishman, with in
terest. "Haw ya'as. How very interest
ing, don't you know. I'd Ilk to pot an
lnca myself."-
Stutesman said the potted Incus wc-r
never used except at picnics, but that fell
flat. Evert tin 11 y ho Invited th noble lord
to visit him on his lnca preserve, and r;o
out s;i,l knock over a couple of Incas be
fore breakfast. And Tarkir.gtou na
Stutesman think lie's down in Peiu now.
looking for Stutesman and Incas through a
monocle. So when Tarkington wrot,th
play, ho Introduced the lnca Joke, but It
didn't go. No one had ever heard of an
lnca, It appeared and pawpaws wer sul"
etitut;d. . . -
Lark of avy 3lsvle Rooacrelt.
Rear Admiral Purnell F. Harrington, V.
S. N., retired, tells a story ln th Wash
ington Star which would Indicate that
Theodore Roosevelt was himself convinced
of the fact that had there never been a
war between the United States and Spain
the colonel of tho Rough Ridw would
peer have been piesident of th United
Stutes. Admiral Harrington, then ft com
mander, was in command of th monitors
Terror and Puritan in the Spanish war, and
It waa after he became a rear adnUial sev
eral years latr. and after Mr. Roocevelt
becamo preside-it, that the conversation
that follows occurred.
"I Tas the commandant of the Norfolk
navy yard." said Admiral Harrington,
"when president Roosevelt visited th yard.
I. of course, escorted the president, and In
the course of thn tour tie noticed that ther
were a number of battleships In th yard.
" 'What rhlpa are tho.e, admiral?" th
pru.-ildctit linked. I told him the name,
and then temark"d:
" 'Had had those ships In 15S7, Mr.
I'i esldriit. thei v never would have beta
any war with Sialn."
" 'Thut is very true.' replied Piesident
Roosevelt, 'and had we had them I nould
not be heie today." "
(hiI Hni.
A guert In a Cincinnati lioiel s shot
and killed. The negio poi ter who heard th
shooting was ft witness at th trial.
"How many shots did you liesr?" asked
the lawyer.
"Two shots. ah," he replied.
"Bout like dls .way," explained th negro,
chipping his hands with an Interval of
aboJit a second between them.
"Wher wer j-vu when th first shot
was fired?" .
"Slilnln' a geuimai:'s sho in d basement
of lie. hotel."
"Where were you when the second hot
was filed?'
"Ah was a-pa;u'i de fig Fo"' pot"-
Literary IMgrst.
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