TTIE BEE: OMAHA, FRIDAY, MAY 27, 1010.
'Hie Omaha Daily Kee
FOUNDED DT EDWARD ROBE WATER.
VICTOR UdSKWATEO, EDITOR.
Entered at Oman postotDoa III second
claaa matter. . ,
Dally Ilea (including Sunday), per week.
IE0
IOC
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Kvenlng Ilea (without Hundax. per week
1'n.nlt.a 1 I . .. . . w nA wAK .
o-r
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baturuay Uee, one year V 1
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delivery to Cllv C'lrf .iLHnn DauartOltnt.
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OFFICES.
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fouth Omaha Twenty-fourth and N.
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CORRESPONDENCE.
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Omaha Bee, Editorial Department.
REMITTANCES.
Remit by draft, ezpreia or postal order
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STATEMENT or CIRCULATION.
6tate of Nebraska. Douglas County, '
Oeorge B. Traohurk. treasurer of The
Bee Publishing Company, being duly sworn,
says that the actual number of full and
complete copies of The Dally. Morning,
Evening and flunrfar Bee printed during the
month of April. 1910, wag as follows:
1 40,800 It 41,730
t .....,10 IT... 4300
t .....42,100 II 43,340
4 44,400 It.... 49,680
43,770 10 43,560
43,640 XI.. 48.460
f..A .43.S30 IS 43,030
t ,....43 090 tl 43,100
43.060 14 41,400
10 (MH St 43,840
11 43,840 St 43,830
IS 43,060 17 43,000
It 43,600 18 4B.6M
14 43,680 SI ,...48,760
II.
43,700
It 43,370
Total 184,640
Returned copies 10,421
Net tout.." .... ...W74.UI
Daily average ; 48,470
UEOUUH3 B. TZSCHUCK.
Treasurer.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn to
before me tils 2d day of May. 1910.
M. P. WALKER,
Notary Publla,
S subscribers leaving the city teas
porarlly should have The Dee
mailed to them. Addressee will bo
ckssgtd aa oftea, as reaoested.
Yes, it is a sweet mess the Sugar
trust is in.
The aeroplane hat will always be
expected to come high.
The man who fasted two months to
cure catarrh has cured It, but he died
in the act. .
They've come back! Who's come
back? Omaha's trade boosters have
come back.
Uncle Sam has ordered a laundry
for hla bank notes, which suggests a
pressing need.
It goes , wljhout proof that Caruso
can reach he high notes when he gets
1200,000 for singing one season.
Jeffries, with bolls all over him,
they say, is grouchy. In the name of
Job, what do you expect of a man?
Even yet It requires a strained con
atructlon of the weather man's sen'
tences to justify the wearing of a
straw hat..
The Washington Herald insists that
gas legislation Is needed. Speak to
Mr. Tillman it he has sufficiently re
covered. " .
The Milwaukee man who went home
and told hla wife he had seen two
comets onjy made his case all the more
difficult to plead.
Etld the. census man miss you? Do
you know of anyone whom the census
man has missed. If so, speak up at
onco before it is too late.
It has been discovered that the big
fortune left by an Ohio woman to a
church consists entirely of debts. She
must have been a backslider.
Cleveland's "Golden Rule" chief of
police, suspended under charges, de
dares he will fight back and get even
That's the golden rule, all right.
Tho clergy's protest to the big fight
reminds us that Mr. Jeffries' father,
himself, is a minister, but up to date
ho has not joined the Protestants.
A cask of wine per annum is the
salary of Poet Laureate Austin. If he
drinks as excessively as he is paid Eng
land may some day have to get an
other royal poet.
Rumors of graft, a contemporary
tells us, are now current in Indiana
Oh, perish the thought! As William
Tell would Bay, "And have they netted
my young fledgling, too."
A western Pennsylvania man is run
ntng for congress because, he admits
he needs the money, which shows him
to be much more candid than those
wtio have had more experience.
The South Omaha cut-rate insur
ance man who bid low for under writ
lng the Omaha city hall is to be let off
and get his forfeited check back by
paying the cost of re-advertising. Oh
how easy!
In spite of the desperate efforts of
Lincoln's mayor to prejudice them
the Nebraska Press association de
cided practically unanimously to meet
next time in Omaha. Some knocks
are booBts.
Now tho insurgents accuse "Uncle
Joe" of preaching to them. It is
safo venture, though, that they do not
Bit in the Amen corner to hear the ser
mon, or fall down at the mourner's
be neb when it is over, .. . r
Reconstructing the Commiiiion.
The demand for the reconstruction
of tha Interstate Commerce commls
alon ao us to provldo for subcommls
alons for Jurisdiction In their respect
ive districts, voiced by Senator La Fol-
ette In hla speech on the railroad bill,
presents an Idea which has been re
peatedly advanced by The Dee, and
which we believe will be the eventual
organization of the commission If It is
to be made equal to the requirements.
The Interstate Commerce commission
is today in its composition and consti
tution practically the same as when
originally created In 1887, nearly
twenty-five years ago, although In
that time the business of the country
has grown tremendously, and the
varied relations between shippers and
carriers many times multiplied. An
nterstate Commerce commission con
sisting of Beven members, with head
quarters at Washington, cannot pos
sibly exercise adequate supervision
over the railroads of a country as vast
as ourg serving 90,000,000 people.
Practical railroad men have divided
the country for their own purposes
into traffic divisions along the lines of
physical geography, and these di
visions, which are the natural ones
for operation, would ordinarily be best
suited to government regulation and
supervision. If the country were
similarly districted and provided with
a subordinate railway commission for
each district, with appeal under limi
tations to a central commission, some
thing like our federal circuit court3
and supremo court, the complaints
arising under the interstate commerce
law would have much more prompt
and effective consideration, whereas
now tho filing of a complaint at Wash
ington and waiting its turn for weeks
and months makes real redress of
grievances almost impossible.
This reconstruction of the Inter
state Commerce commission may not
come right away, but it is sure to
materialize in due course of time, and
may coma faster than any one expects.
Away with Provincialism. ,
Speaking of the general prosperity
existing in the United States, an east
ern paper lays down the excellent pre
cept that this country is too big and
too great for provincialism in popula
tion or centralization In business and
admits that "we New Yorkers do not
know our Oklahoma, our Oregon, our
Nebraska, our Virginia, our Illinois
and so forth as they know us," add
ing: "Speed the day when every in
telligent provincial with something to
tell and something worth saying will
be welcomed to 'go Into big type' in.
the big cities and when every 'city
chap' similarly equipped may be sure
of a hearing in the 'provincial' press."
The inspiration of this advice and
logic is sound, but It rests upon the
mistaken notion that the country out
side of r New York . constitutes the
provinces. New York, "wrapt in the
so4ltude of its own originality," strikes
most observers as the most provincial
thing in the United States. The aver
age New Yorker has only the vaguest
kind of notion about the west and its
resources. He does not even realize
that the west, beside feeding the east,
is also furnishing it with many of its
foremost .men, in the big channels of
business and professional life. This
air of self-content, which is only just
now beginning to be penetrated by the
rays of practical information, has
been a deterrent factor in bringing
about a more healthful relation be
tween the east and the west, or, as the
paper quoted chooses to put it, be
tween the city and country.
By all means let this relation be
strengthened, for it Is essential 'to a
better social condition as well as to
permanent business prosperity. It is
reassuring to note the changing senti
ment in the east and to find, too, that
cognizance Is being taken of the value
of such a change of sentiment.
The Ideal Juror.
The other day a man was admitted
to a jury in a North Dakota court who
declared he could not tell who was
president of the United States and
never knew such a man as William H.
Taft, "kinder b'lleved I'd heerd,tell o
Roosevelt, but forget what 'twas I
heerd 'bout him," never read newspa
pers and "didn't know nothing 'bout
the case at hand."
The talesman was accepted and by
the attorney for the defense declared
to be "an Ideal Juror." The Judge re
marked "he at least knows nothing
of the case," but the judge gave the
Impression of entertaining other views
of his fitness to pass 'upon the guilt
or innocence of a.fellowman charged
with the commission of a crime.
Such individuals as this can only oc
casionally be found in this country,
but lawyers are too prone to scour
whole counties for them. By tho sys
tem of examination pursued by some
attorneys it is evident that they want
Just such jurors. But it is a wrong
and pernicious system that places a
premium on ignorance for so sacred
and solemn a service as deciding an
Issue, civil or criminal, at law. It is
a perversion of the principle of law
and jurisprudence to act on tho theory
that intelligence is not desired or de
sirable in jurors. The law contem
plates an average amount of Intelli
gence In a Juror and the lawyer who
prefers under-standard Jurors trans
cends on of the fundamental tenets
of law.
The Ideal juror Is not the Igno
ramus, but the man of common sense
and experience in actual life, broad
enough to be fair and unbiased by
what he knows. Such a man, indeed,
might know something about the case
he is to try and still be eminently
qualified to sit as a juror. Certainly
In this day of the free public school
and general newspaper circulation it
supplies the basis of reasonable doubt
when a venireman admits that he has
not read anything of a case that has
figured . prominently in the public
prints.
Hurrah for Sulzer!
The house of representatives was
given a touch of the real, old, slmon-pure-lS96-Blxteen-to-one
democraoy
the . other day by the Honorable Wil
liam Sulzer of New York in a speech
with which Bryan's "cross-of-gold-and-crown-of-thorns"
simply Is not to
be compared. Tho speech was on the
subject of "Democracy," or "How the
Republican Party Has Failed to Keep
the Faith." To democracy he ascribed
all the virtues and to republicanism
all the vices since the signing of the
Declaration of Independence. x In one
sentence of thirty-five lines in the
Congressional Record he has told
"What true democracy Btands for,"
and the category contained every grace
and virtue of a free and great nation.
Then, dead spent from this three-quarter
stretch, he comes down to the last
lap of his fervid peroration with this:
I have no fears of democracy. The dem
ocratic party will never die until the pil
lars of the republic totter and crumble
and liberty Is no more. Its future Is as
seours aa Its past is glorious, and Its ultl
mato success In the struggle of equal
rights to all will be the crowning triumph
of the progress of the race and the bright
est page in the annals of human destiny.
It will live because it has a mission a mis
sion that can never die the true mission
of democracy to make mankind brothers
and all the world free.
Nor need the republicans, either,
have any fears of democracy if its
"future is as secure as its past is glori
ous" and no more bo.
If the house cheered at the conclu
sion the Congressional Record de
parted from its custom and failed to
mention it. If it did not cheer it was
probably to avoid laughing.
One of the things democracy Btands
for, Mr. Sulzer said, is postal savings,
although the democrats In the senate
recently threw all the votes they had
against postal savings. Another thing
democracy stands for is "personal
rights and individual liberty and no
sumptuary laws," although the thrice
chosen leader of the party and the
gilded-tongue prophet of democracy
was at that verjr time hiring a hall in
his own state to advocate sumptuary
laws.
For "sounding brass and tinkling
cymbals" Mr. Sulzer's speech is the
greatest thing that has happened since
the days of the sacred ratio. It will
surely make Mr. Bryan green with
envy.
New York's Inebriate Farm.
The New York legislature has en
acted a law creating an Inebriate farm
for the dipsomaniacs of New York
City, and in accepting the measure
Mayor Gaynor says he leaves it to the
Board of Estimates to say whether the
city shall agree to the heavy expend!
ture necessary to carry out its pro
visions, as he Is not much impressed
with Its efficacy. But the mayor ac
knowledges that good mep and women
are back of the law, which may con
tain some practical advantages. . For
himself he believes it can do no more
than "furnish a humane and rational
manner of restraining and treating In
ebriates."
This law provides terms of from one
to three years in thlrfarm for habitual
drunkards, contemplating . a cure by
the end of that period. It seems to
have been devised, not with any
thought, of enforcing prohibition or to
tal abstinence, but as a moans of cur
tailing excessive drinking with its ac
companylng disorder and neglect of
obligations and will undoubtedly be
watched with general interest because
of its novelty. ,
Opinion in New York differs as to
the wisdom of the law. Its friends
believe it to be a great improvement
over the old system of hauling drunk
men into police court, fining them and
turning them loose to repeat their act,
while Mayor Gaynor ,and others take
the view that, it cannot accomplish any
permanent good and even involves so
much doubt of its efficacy as to make
the matter of appropriating money to
carry it out questionable. Possibly
Nebraska's experience with its dipso
maniac law might throw some light on
the subject.
Drunkenness is less common in this
country than it was some years ago
and with all due credit to the religious
and reform forces it must be admitted
that Its. decline Is, due In a large meas
ure to advanced methods of Industry
requiring the clearest brains and most
alert mlnds.v Reform wrought through
such substantial Influences as these
possesses a degree of durability that
cannot be questioned.
Did you observe the name of Colonel
"Charley" Fanning In tho list of mili
tary attaches who put up for the silver
"wedding anniversary present to Gov
ernor Shallenberger? Is this an effort
on the part of the doughty Dahlmanite
to square himself for bis noisy threat
to resign when the lid law was signed,
which threat he never made good?
Or is it a try at riding two political
horses at the same time?
Physical valuation of the South
Omaha stock yards plant, completed
under direction of the State Railway
commission, fixes the value at $1,725,
000, while the stock yards' company
put it in at $2,591,000. Which goes
for assessment and taxation purposes?
The popular feel will be on the side
of holding the fight, but it must dis
gust rrost people asked to put up good
money at the box office to hear public
officials assert that this knock-down-,
and-drag-out is merely a
contest."
"boxing
Senator Burkett has secured a
favorable report from tho committee
on agriculture on his bill to establish
a school of forestry at Nebraska City
to train men for the federal forestry
service. It would be a fine thing for
Nebraska to secure such a school, if it
is to be established, and Nebraska
City, with Arbor Lodge, the homo of
a former secretary of agriculture, has
special claims to consideration. Such
a school maintained by the federal
government would . attract students
from all over the country, and possi
bly from foreign countries, and would
be a drawing card of unusual power
because of Its unique character. If
the First Nebraska district only had a
real live republican congressman he
might help make this project materi
alise by pushing the bill through the
house after It passes the senate, which
it has fair prospects of doing.
It remains to be seen whether
' 3
Elmer Thomas will stick to the man
suspected of dynamiting as closely as
he has stuck tct the other ex-convicts
with whom he has been Intimately as
sociated in the cause of moral reform.
Senator Elkins says not a member
of the senate knows anything about
freight rates or their making. And he
owns a railroad or two, and Senator
Cummins was the general attorney for
one a long time, too.
A Pertinent Question.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Western railroad men declare that rail
roads make no money carrying freight.
wnere Oo you get It, gentlemen?"
Law for Sky Pilots.
New York World.
The session of an international congress
in Paris to make laws for aerial navigation
is a reminder that.no comprehensive and
adequate automobile law has yet been
adopted. The aerial legislators show a wise
forethought in beginning early.
Meed leas Worry.
Chicago Record-Herald.
Members of congress who are nertnrhtwi
over the question what the government
would do without them, should take cour
age. The government was running when
they went to the erade iohnni. arA th...
are orators in the grade schools now who
see where they could keep it going.
Shippers Wait o Uo tta.. ....
Pittsburg Dispatch.
The men who pay the freight are in the
Missouri class on the advance in freight
rates. Except, of course, the business men
whose trade consists of selling materials
to the railroads. They are unanimous in
tha opinion that there should be no fuss
over a little, thlnor lib tuvuvmnnn .
- ,...,.vv,vuu, V h BUy
more Cost in conducting' business '
Raisin the Wreck.
Boston Transcript.
It Is reported that when the Maine is
raised Spain will start a new court of in
quiry with the purpose of establishing the
correctness of the Original Spanish expert
opinion that the vessel was blown up from
the Inside. ' If thir statement of its inten
tion is correct Spain rriay have a long time
to wait, for our engineers assert that the
$100,000 which congress appropriated to lift
the wreck from tfte Waters, of Havana
harbor is not more than sufficient to build
the preliminary coffer dam.
MB. TAFT'B LIMITATIONS.
Sample Instance of Conarreasmatn
Hltcheock'a Hysterica.
New York Sun.
Mr. Taft has been indicted on two grave
counts before the bar of public opinion in
one day. Senator . George B. Chamberlain
of Oregon charges him with taking the re
publican platform seriously. Tha greatest
mistake he has made, says the Oregon
senator, wagging his head in sage disap
probation. "No president ever did that be
fore," he adds. Certainly not Mr. Roose
velt, whose friends insist that Mr. Taft
must model himself on his predecessor pr
take the consequences. Good faith is
evidently one of Mr. Taft's weaknesses.
The second count is that Mr. Taft is
drunk with power. In the language of the
accuser, Gilbert M. Hitchcock, a represen
tative from Nebraska!
"Whom the gods would destroy they
first make mad.' President Taft apparently
Is marked for their wrath. If ever there
was a man drunk with power to the point
of folly, he is the one. Rather than give
up Ballinger he is willing to Involve his
administration In every imaginable scandal
and resort to every .trick and subterfuge
of manipulation. He Is willing to sacrifice
any number of good and faithful servants
rather than to leave this member of his
cabinet to the hands of juotlco."
Here again Mr. Taft is untrue to the
Rcoteveltlan policy. He is also a martyr
to temperament and training. Tho hys
terical Hitchcock would have him pre
judge the Ballinger case, ignore the rele
vant evidence, and cast out the secretary
to be dealt with by the mob. No doubt
Mr. Hitchcock would be willing to lead the
mob.
The only defence Uiat can be urged in
behalf of tho president Is that he Is afflicted
with a Judicial mind. The predecessor was
not troubled with one. Neither the law
nor the evidence impeded Mm in the dis
charge of his duty. With equal facility he
was prosecutor, judge, Jury and execu
tioner. Mr. Taft knows only how to be
judge. . . ,
Our Birthday Book
May 87 1910.
Julia Ward Howe, author of the "Battlo
Hymn of the Republic," was born May 27,
1S19. Her patriotic poetry and songs enjoyed
a large popularity.
Charles Francis Adams, author and once
president of the Union Paclflo railroad,
Is celebrating his eighty-fifth blrthday He
was born in Boston, la the son of one presi
dent, and grandson of another. Of late
years he has been devoting himself to lit
erary pursuits.
John Kendrlck Bangs, author and humor
ist, was born May. 27, 1861, at Tonkers, rJ.
Y. He contributes to 4ay magazines, but
notably to Harper'. 1
Fred T. DuBols, farmer United States
senator from Idaho. Is 13 years old today.
He is a native of Illinois, and a lawyer by
profession and was one of the leaders of
the free silver movement.
W. 8. Shoemaker, lawyer and democratic
po.lticlan. Is M. Ha was born In Ohio and
carries laa Ohio man's hunger for office
with him. Ha has been city prosecutor,
police judge, aaalatant city attorney and
member of the laat legislative delegation
from Douglas county to say nothing of
Jobs Jut failed to connect with.
Washington Life
lone rVrrtlnf rfcaeee
s OosWUttona Otawved
at the Xfa4eaa Capital.
"Many a gem of purest ray serene" loses
Its luster In the pages of the Congressional
Record. Here is one specimen resuced from
the avalanche of railroad bill debate:
Mr. Brlstow Now, the law forbids the
railroads to charge one man a lees rate
than another for hauling the same com
modity to the same point.
Mr. Lodge Precisely.
Mr. Brlstow That would be a rebate.
Mr. Lodge Precisely.
Mr. Brlstow Why should the laws not
forbid a railroad to charge one city more
than another for the same kind of servicer
Mr. Lodge Because a man is not a city.
That Is the principal reason.
Mr. Brlstow But a city Is an aggrega
tion of men, la It notT
Mr. Lodge Yes; but an aggregation of
men and one individual are two totally
different things.
Mr. Brlstow They are totally different
things, but in the application of this rule
what Is the difference?
Mr. Lodge The difference is most ob
vious to anybody who has undertaken to
study railway economies,
Mr. Brlstow It may bo very obvious.
and I suppose I am dull. I do not see it
"Aa old Knute goes, so goes Minnesota."
That is the theory on which the great
mass of republican voters In Minnesota
decide publio questions of moment, ac
cording to a member of the house from
that state, quoted by the Washington
Times.
They tell a story In the senate cloak
rooms about a campaign orator who was
delivering speeches In Minnesota. He mar
veled at the hold Nelson had on the people
of the state. One day he was discussing
the subject with a Norwegian political
boss. To his amazement he discovered that
the rest of the folks In Washington who
were generally supposed to have something
to do with shaping the destiny of the na
tion were a lot of amateurs when com
pared with Nelson. He therefore decided
to put the matter to a supreme test.
"Knute Nelson," the Norwegian boss had
declared "he ban smart feller. 8 mar tea'
feller in whole worl',"
"Do you think vNelson is aa smart as the
Almight?" the campaigner asked.
"Wal," answered the Norwegian, scratch
ing his head reflectively, "Knute he ban
young fellar yet"
Chairman Tawney of the house commit
tee on appropriations plans to have the
air in the legislative halls of congress fresh
as the ocean breeses or the stream-cooled
atmosphere of a shaded mountain resort. .
It was decided by him that he would In
sert in the general deficiency appropriation
bill an item of $50,000 to equip both cham
bers with an .Invention by Dr. Stratton,
superintendent of the government bureau
of standards, which dries and cools the air
by removing all of the humidity. It la not
designed to hasten adjournments.
Several years ago the. senate chamber was
equipped with an apparatus to refrigerate
the air. It was never . used, however, be
cause some physician reported that such
artificially cooled air would be fatal to
men of sixty years or more.
Wisconsin has gained the honor of fur
nishing a $1,000 cow that will produce all
the milk and butter that President Taft
and his family will use, and Senator Isaac
Stephenson of the Badger state Is the
donor. Hen.ce the managers of thelattai-s
stock farm at Homers, Kenosha country,
are in a state of elation and excitement.
"Mooley," erstwhile lacteal provider for
the White House recently was killed in an
accident, and Senator Stephenson has guar
anteed a successor, essentially "regular"
and devoid of all traces of "Insurgent" or
conservation ideas.
"Pick, out the beet bred cow in the herd,
and the one most satisfactory for all pur
poses," was the order of Senator Stephen
son to Manager James P. Torrey, and Paul
ine Wayne, grandaughter of the great
Gertrude Wayne, has been elected to De the
official presidential cow, and will be In
the pasture near the White House within
two months.
As cows go, Pauline Wayne is an aristo
crat of the first water. She is of the pur
est Holsteln blood represented among the
herds of the United States. She will be 4
years old in July and her grandmother,
Gertrude Wayne, registered as No. 7665, re
cently broke all records for 9-year-old
cows. ' v
Senator Smoot doesn't care a rap whether
he has an audience when he addresses the
senate or not. He even objects when an
associate Insists upon a quorum.'
Senator Heyburn of Idaho during the
course of the recent Smoot speech on the
long and short haul amendment, proposed
that the roll be called. ' He wanted more
senators to hear the argument being made.
"I propose a roll call," said Senator Hey
burn. "I want the senate to hear what the
senator from Utah la saying. The material
he is quoting is too good to be wasted on
the desert air."
It so happened that not more than one
half dozen members of the senate were on
the floor at the time. The others had
strolled out into the cloak rooms or had
gone home.
"I beg of the senator from Idaho that
he not Insist upon a roll call," replied Sena
tor Smoot. "Just let the matter go. AH
Interested can read my speech in the Rec
ord. I would strongly prefer that I be al
lowed to proceed."
Senator Carter of Montana has one great
legislative hobby. He has a great many
legislative Ideas, but only one of them
causes him to lie awake at night. Only
one pops out In all of the senator's
snatches. This is the Idea of reform In
the Postofflce department.
The Montana senator believes that not
only millions, but scores of millions, of dol
lars could be saved each year if the Post
fflce department of tho Country was put
on a solid business baals.
"If the Poatoffice department of this
government were run as the Pennsylvania
railroad Is run It would cost this govern
ment Just one-half what It costs now,"
said Senator Carter in a recent speech.
"I maintain that the postofflce system
Talks for people
There never was a time like the
present when an honest merchant
can make such strides in the confi
dence of his public.
There never was a time like the
present when the public Is so prone
to listen to statements of high quali
ties, best values, fair prices, because
the trend of public thought Is toward
economy.
This Is the psychological moment to
tell and reiterate quality, value and
price.
Take your atand fairly and squarely,
tell tbe people every day about your
la the greatest cash enterprise In this coun
try or any other country, of this gnvern
ment or any other government, on the faco
of the earth.
"It now coats the people of the United
States $".0,000,000 a year to run its Pot-
office department. It should ba run for
$125,000,000, or Just one-halt of Its present
cost. Its system Is all wrong. Instead of
our having tha finest postal system w
have the worst In the world, and the cost
liest. "It is all because experienced men are
not In command. As soon as a postmaster
gets familiar with hla work he Is ousted
to make room for some one else. It Is the
same way through the whole system."
PERSONAL NOTES.
The astonishing newa cornea from Paris
that In a duel Count Ismael de Lessepa was
seriously wounded by Count Just de Pol
Igny. Mr. Roosevelt's strenuoalty seems to
be catching.
"Stop our Sunday base ball," say the
Pittsburg managers to the churches, "and
we will stop your paid Sunday choirs." In
timating that It's a poor blue law that
won't cover alt trades.
Madame Curie, the co-dlsooverer with her
husband of radium, has been elected a
member of the American Philosophical so
ciety. She was the only woman on the list
of fifteen members elected.
An American girl who referred audibly to
a German princess as a frump was ordered
to leave the kingdom. The lesson should
show her the futility of butting In. It
really was no affair of hers If the princess
was a frump.
A Jamaica, L. I., man claims to be the
possessor of a leather beer mug presented
to Oliver Cromwell when he was lord pro
tector; but unless history does him an In
justice there was nothing very attractive
about Oliver Cromwell's "mug."
Mrs. Mary A. Millbank of Bloomfleld Is
the first woman to be elected a school di
rector in New Mexloo. Her election is the
result of the opinion recently given by At
torney General Frank W. Clancy that
women were eligible to the office.
A Tennessee practical joker, out hunting
with a companion, hid himself all but his
gray whiskers and made a sound Ilk a
squirrel. His companion made a sound like
shooting and the joke and joker fell flat.
The companion ought at once to be given
the job of foolklller.
A young man and woman in Philadel
phia who recently went through a mock
marriage were jolted out of their amusing
mood on finding tho ceremony was legal
and binding. Aa each was engaged to
marry somebody else the complications
furnish tears for the principals and fees
for the lawyers.
MIRTHFUL REMARKS.
Patron Waitress, bring; me some straw,
berry shortcake, please.
Waitress Shortcake's out. sir.
Patron When will It be back 7 Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
His Wife Tou make It a business to pick
m k , . n a' a-b. '.r f fnrmtt tnvi.lf Ant uu
something ungrampiatioal or mispronounce
a word.
Prof. McGoozle Make it a business, my
dear AlvlraT On the contrary, it is one of
my recreations. Chicago Tribune.
"I have written a high-brow drama, and
It will be easy to stage, too."
"As to howf"
"Instead of lot of expensive frowns, tho
leading lady merely has several changes of
"A beauty doctor has to bo a good deal
or a philosopher, doean t Tier
"Why sor
"Because no matter what are his troubles,
he has to put a good faoe on the subject.'1
Baltimore American.
John V. : Rockefeller,' tho morning of the
record breaking collection In Dr. Aked's
cnurcn. made a wise ana terse remarK.
"What," said a fellow member to Mr,
KocKereiir, "is nappinessT
"Giving it," replied the multimillionaire.
Washington Star.
"When you are grown up," queried the
visitor, "will you be a doctor, like your
father T"
"Oh, dear mo, no! Why, I couldn't even
kill a rabbit' replied the boy with great
iranicneas, Argonaut.
The perpetually clever man listened sol
emnly to the tramp's hard luck story.
"That's the same old yarn you told me
last weex, no saia, winning at his com
pan Ion.
"Maybe It is,"' admitted the weary one
as he started on. "I'd forgotten havlnir
met you. I was in the penitentiary last
ween." success juagncine.
"Most modern houses yet built," an
nounced the enthusiastic agent. "Elec
tricity, cemented yards. Instantaneous
water heaters, all the modern, latest, up-
to-date Improvements, including padded
closets In every room."
"Why padded?" asked the prospective
ouyer.
"So the neighbors can't hear the family
skeletons in 'em rattling." Baltimore
American.
Mabel So you and Jack don't speak.
What's the trouble?
Majory We had a dreadful quarrel about
which loved the other most Boston Tran
script.
WogBs Yesterday must have been an iin
fortunate day up your way. I see' there
were tour autos smashed, two trucks over
turned, a trolley car derailed and a score
of pedestrians hurt
BogR-s Yes, confound It, and I told that
kid of mine to keep his new veloclntdo off
me sireet. i-uck. w
THE CHILD'S DREAM.
Mrs. Schuyler Van Rensselaer In Harper's
Bazar.
Last night I was a child that just had
learned to die,
A child like ma, but newly born
1 Into a beautiful morn
Of starry sky.
I saw the morning light,
Yet there were stars, sliver and golden,
softly bright.
The stars were there, and music for the
shapes, white-clad,
Of angels, thousands, stood to sing,
All whit of robe and wing.
A harp they had,
A viol, or golden lute;
AH sang, but one; she smiled and held her
harp-strings mute.
My heart was full of tears; I laughed
when 1 knew why:
The angel of the whitest wing.
She who cared not to sing,
Leaned from the sky
And smiled, and I could see
My mother's lovely eyes, my mother
smiled at me.
In this our world I never saw my mother's
face;
She died; she died as I was born.
But in that starry morn
I found the place
Where she abides, and knew
They were her eyes, and wept, yet laughed
and kissed her too.
who sell things
store and methods trod what you have
to offer them. Let them know that
your reputation, Intelligence and
judgment are behind every article you
sell. They will respond so quickly
that you will be surprised.
The advertising columns of The Bee
will Introduce you to the buying pub
lic of 41,000 subscribers. You can
talk to 150,000 readers three times a
week In a four-Inch space at the cost
of about $50 a month.
Mr. Merchant, our advertising col
umns are open to you. Our help and
advice are at your disposal.
SPEHTA FORTUNE
ON SKIN TROUBLE
But tost All Hope of Cure Grew
Worse and Worse in Spite of Many
Doctors and Three Years of Hos
pital Treatment Inflammation
Made Her Almost Crazy with Pain.
CURED BY TWO SETS .
OF CUTICURA REMEDIES
MI began to have an Itching over an?
whole body about seven years ago anil
this settled In my limb, from the knee to
the toes. I went to tee a great many
physicians, a matter which cost me a
' fortune, and after I noticed that I did
not get any relief that war, I went for
three) years to the hospital. But ther
were unable to help ma there. I used
all the medicines that I could see but
became worse) and worio. I had an in
flammation which made sue almost crazy
with pain. When I showed ray foot to
my friends they would get really fright
ened. I did not know what to do. I
wai so sick and had become ao nervous
that I positively lost all hop.
"I had seen tha advertisement of tno
Cutioura Remedies a great many time
but could not make up ray mind to buy
them, for I bad already used so many
medicines. Finally I did decid to .us
the Cuticura Remedies and I tell you
that I was never to pleased aa when I
noticed that, after having used two set
of Cutioura Soap, Cuticura Ointment
and Cuticura Pills, tha entire Inflamma
tion had gone. I was completely cured.
1 should be only too glad if people)
with a similar disease would come to
me and And out the truth. I would only
recommend them to use Cutioura. Mrs.
Bertha Sachs, 1021 Second Ave., New
York, N. Y., Aug. 20, 1909."
"Mrs. Bertha Sacha ts my alstnr-ln
law and I know well how she suffered
and was cured by the Cutioura Remedies
after many other treatments failed.
Morris Sachs, 821 E. 89th St., New York,
N. Y., Secretary of Deutsch-Ostrowoer
Unt.-Veroin, Kampner Hebrew Benevo
lent Society Jetc."
A single get of Cutioura Remedies,
costing but one dollar, consisting of Soap
to oleanse. Ointment to heal and Pills
to purify, has frequently cured chronic:
cases of torturing, disfiguring humors of
Infant, children and adults when tha
best methods known to the profession
had failed. Guaranteed absolutely pur.
Cuticura RenifdiM art (old tbronshout the world.
Pottw Drut ('hem. Corp.. Roi Pfnpi.. 185 Polunf
bo Av Boatnn. Mais. VMsIIkJ Fm. Cuticura
Does, aa Authority oa Skla end Scalp IHiiiim.
,iw,ii"v.ijr'"j,!iiw
Shorty Suction Cleaners
0
After a Shampoo
A "Peerle" Suction
Cleaner has scores of uses. . ,
A fW '8edonds':aTid 'if1 is""''"'
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It can be placed in the linen or
clothes closets and they are aired
thoroughly in no time.
A "Peerless" Suction Cleaner is
an absolute essential, and one of the
most wiaely economical investments
that can be made for the home.
Illustrated book and addrrn ol Mral
PEERLESS ttort tent oh t equal to
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unquestionably the finest made
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Its action Is quick, pleasant and
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