Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, May 25, 1910, Page 6, Image 6

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The umaha Daily Her
Entered at Omaha postofflce eecond matter.
Pally life (Including Sunday), pr week. 15c
Dally Hm (without Sunday), per week..lOc
Daily Hee (without Sunday) one yar..$40
Dally lie and Bundojr, ona year SOU
Evening Bea (without Sunday), par week. 6c
Evening Bea (with Sunday), per week....lOc
Kunuay Bee, ona year I1 M
baturday Dee, ona year LW
Addreaa all complaint of Irregularities In
delivery to City Circulation Department.
Omaha The Bea Building.
Kouih Omaha Twenty-fourth and N.
Council Bluffs 14 bcott Btreet.
Lincoln filt Little Building.
Chicago IMS Marquette Building.
New York Rooms 1101-11M No. 34 Weal
Thirty-third Btreet.
Washington Tit Fourteenth Street, N. W.
Communication relating to news and
editorial ' matter should be ' addressed:
Omaha Bea, Editorial Department.
Remit by draft, express or postal order
payable to The Bee Publishing Company.
Only 2-cent stamps received in payment of
mall accounts. Personal checks, except on
Omaha or eastern exchange, not accepted.
State of Nebraska. Douglas County, aa. :
Ueorge B. Tsschuck. treasurer of The
Bea Publishing Company, being duly sworn,
aays that - tha actual number of full and
compleia copies of The Dally, Morning,
Evening and Sunday Bea printed during the
iouuj oi April, uio, waa aa follows:
1 43.800
it a,no
t.....i.,. .42,910
.......... .491.640
......' 42,690
48 QM
'10 44,T
11 4840
II.... 43,600
1 48,600
1 43,680
i ,.a,roo
17 48,800
!... .3
II 43,680
JO..... 48,660
11 4860
St 48,830
IS 43,100
14 41.400
It 48,840
( 48,830
IT 43,600
SS 43,690
29 43,760
S 43,970
Total J 1,884,640
Returned coplaa 10,481
Nat total. JL.8T4.1M
Daily average...... 43.470
Subscribed la my prasenca and awora to
before ma tols Sd day of May, 1910.
Notary Publia,
Sabaarlbera tearing; taia city tens
porsrlly thosld tin Tke Baa
availed to them. Addresses will ha
changed mm oftest aa requested.
The comet's tail was shaped
like the big stick.
The colonel did slow up, after all.
but not until he reached London.
Anna Held threatens to quit the
stage snd raise asparagus. For the
stage i
Now, will the astronomer kindly
step to one sldet or take tha,t seat In
the rear.
It Is Acting Mayor Brucker now
but he won't even try to compete at
In Texas, the ' promoter says, one
can find any climate be likes. And
some he does not, perhaps.
Senator Heyburn is the most far
seeing man In congress when it comes
to detecting the dark side of things.
John D. Rockefeller, we. are told,
wears a paper vest when playing golf.
But baa he got down to toe paper
collar? ..
It evidently did not occur to Stenog
rapher Kerby to offer to flip coins with
Secretary Balllnger to see whether he
would stay or go.
The issue is squarely drawn at last
between St. Paul and Minneapolis by
a Minneapolis girl running down a St
Paul man With her. automobile.
Clarence Darrow says, "I have prac
ticed law too long to have any conceit
about its Justice." Oh, cheer up, you
elected your ticket in Milwaukee.
If Omaha trade boosters as they go
along could deliver 'railroad depots to
all the towns 'needing' new stations
they would be more popular than ever.
This theory of fasting as a means of
Improving health looks like a cheap
way to solve the hlgh-cost-of-living
problem. But it is Just as expensive
to die:
The Decoration day parade, in
Omaha Is scheduled to proceed in car
riages. The 'most luxurious automo
biles would be none too good for the
"You can-always tell a St. Loulsan
by the fact that he does not drink
champagne said the tourist. Yes
and another, thing, he does not call it
"Sant Loole." Y
Mr. Bryan believes in the quantlta
tive theory as applied to money and
oratory, for he says, "I can claim to bo
a public- speaker if you take quantity
as a standard."
Some of these Bourbon, democrats
who have1 pledged themselves to follow
Bryan whither he goest must be re
minded of that old game of boyhood
days. "Sheep, keep up with your
Those nicknames, "Peerless philoso
pher," "pure-minded advocate of tho
people," "undented patriot," hurled at
Mr. Bryan by ardent admirers at that
New York banquet sound like an orl
ental subject addressing an heir ap
parent to the throne. -
It Is gratifying to know that it was
at the request of the duke of Norfolk
that Mr. Roosevelt wore an American
regulation evening dress suit at the
siornlng funeral serricea of King Ed
ward. This information shields the
colonel from all' criticism. .
Hey burn Wrong on History.
Senator Heyburn of Idaho was given
a very sharp and well-deserved rebuke
by Senator Depew when, In the course
of discussion on the bill appropriating
134,000,000 for navy enlargement
the Idaho senator made the assertion
that toe people of the Country did not
want wars, but were generally, com
pelled by their rulers to submit to
Senator Heyburn must have shut his
eyes to the pages of American history
when he made that statement. It was
never true in this country, from the
day of the revolution to the sinking of
the Maine. Our wars have always been
precipitated by popular pressure and
npne more so than the recent war with
Spain, to which the senator had' spe
cial conference. , One of the most con
spicuous circumstances leading up to
that war was the fact that the people
clamored for hostilities months before
President McKlnley would consent to
war and this public demand became so
insistent that it led to severe criticism
of the president in and out of his own
party. -It is true that the people later
came to acknowledge mat president
McKlnley was right In staying the
inevitable as long as possible, but they
did not come to that realization until
after the war had been declared.
The McKlnley policy of negotiation
will always stand out aa the most con
spicuous prelude to the Spanish-American
war. Senator Depew, In his re
marks, declared that he personally
knew that Spain would have aban
doned Cuba and Porto Rico rather
than submit to war with the United
States if its proposition could be made
acceptable to this government and in
timated that President McKlnley was
pursuing this negotiation in the hope
that satisfactory results might be ac
complished without war, and only
when he found they could not, he
yielded to the popular demand for war.
Pushing- the Sugar Frauds.
By pardoning from the federal
prison the man who probably can
throw more light on the case than any
one else, Oliver Spltzer, a dock super
intendent who was convicted and sent
up for two years, three months ago,
the president has served notice on all
concerned that he proposes to make a
clean sweep of the sugar trust fraud
prosecution. The government, might
perhaps have used this witness with
out restoring him to citizenship, but
his testimony would not have had the
weight it will now have with a court
of justice. Mr. Taft has unquestion
ably taken a carefully planned step in
the direction of the "men .higher up,"
for whose punishment the country has
Public sympathy went with Spttzer
to the Atlanta prison and it probably
will follow him away, from , there be
cause he Inspired confidence when he
declared he was made the scapegoat
for his superiors In this gigantic sys
tem of fraud by which the United
States government had teen swindled
out of millions of dollars in a period
of more than ten years. No sane per
son ever believed that a mere dock
superintendent was responsible - for
such wholesale grand larceny and it
would have been preposterous to have
stopped with his conviction. The, ad'
ministration, however, never by its con
duct of the case gave indication that it
would stop there. It has continued Its
investigation quietly, but persistently,
and there must be ground now for be
llevlng that bigger game will be caught,
as the president would not have acted
as he has except to : strengthen the
prosecution's case.
Caring for Immigrant.
Congress is reported about to appro
priate $400,000 to erect a station at
Seattle for immigrants landing in that
port. At first glance it might seem
that the people at large had little or
no Interest In this bill, but closer
study will dispel the illusion. The
country is vitally and directly inter
ested in every measure that looks to
a better reception and more humane
handling of the alienB who come to
this country to make their homes. It
is of the utmost importance that they
be received at the port of entry not
only hospitably, but under a system of
direction and helpfulness. It Is the
first step toward moulding them Into
good citizens.
And this bill should bring to the at
tention of the proper authorities the
necessity of diverting some of the con
gested traffic from the New York to
other ports. At present foreigners,
ignorant of our ways and country, pour
Into New York and at times over-run
the accommodations provided for
them. The results are, more serious,
often, than mere discomfiture and In
convenience. The immigrant is not
only put to great difficulty In getting
hrS'feet properly set in the new land,
but frequently falls Into hands It
would be better for his welfare to
avoid. He is naturally an easy prey
for the shark and the congested con
dltlon at New York makes it difficult
for the authorities to protect him In
Philadelphia has a port adequate for
large demands, but for some reason It
Is all but neglected. Philadelphia also
has the disposition to help - these
foreigners get started right and It
seems that the government would do
well to divert if it could a part of this
immigrant traffic to that point. It Is
100 miles nearer the central west,
Chicago for Instance, than New York
by whatever, route might be selected,
and It affords every .possible railroad
connection that New York does, so
that if the Immigrant Is bound -for
western destination he could be sent
on his way more conveniently from
Philadelphia than New York. So long
as this facility exists at the Quaker
City and the need for Its use Is so
urgent It does seem that it should be
brought into commission.
The Interstate Commerce Court.
In connection with the provision for
the interstate commerce court, which
is said to be regarded by the president
as the most important feature of the
railway bill as It Is pending in con
gress, it may be interesting to note
that the idea is not a new one, but was
urged at the time the original inter
state commerce bill of 1886 was being
formulated. At that time the whole
question of railway regulation was
taken up by a select committee of the
senate, at whose head was Senator
Cullom, and before whom a large
amount of testimony was taken from
men who had made the railway ques
tion a study. The founder and then
editor of The Bee, Edward Rosewater,
appeared before this committee on In
vitation to give his views, and in the
course of his statement occurred the
following colloquy:
Mr. Rosewater If a commission could be
constituted as the English commission is;
If you could, under our system of govern
ment, transfer to It quasl-Judlclal power,
so that they could noT only Investigate a
complaint, but arbitrate It and force their
dictum without any further reference to
anybody, It would bo a very desirable in
stitution. Senator Piatt Congress could do that;
but In order to do it congress would have
to create Judges with life tenures.
Mr. Kosewater Yes, sir; very likely we
will have to come to that, anyway, some
time In the future.
Senator Piatt That Is the only thing
that stands in the way of doing as you
Mr. Roso water There might be a railway
court constituted. Just aa the court of
claims has been constituted.
Senator Piatt Congress could make a
railway court, with power to enforce its
decisions, the name aa any other court
The only objection to that is that under
the constitution tha Judges would have to
ba appointed for life.
Air. Rom water I sea no objection to that.
Of course, we know very well that the in
fluence bearing upon the appointment of
the Judges might be very peculiar. But It
la the same machinery that meets us at
every step, and probably a man, one ap
pointed for life, would be more likely to
act Independently than he would if he
were simply dependent upon a reappoint
ment or upon a tenure that was uncertain.
What was apprehended then, with
almost prophetic vision, was that an in
terstate commerce commission, vested
merely with powers of investigation
and compelled to apply to the courts
for decrees for enforcement of find
ings, would fail to afford the full
measure of relief from railway exac
tlons which the people -were demand
lng, and that the way to expedite re
dress of grievance would be 'through
a special court devoting Its time to
complaints of shippers, passengers and
public against unequal or unfair treat
ment. With the tremendous growth
of the country and corresponding mul
tiplicity of controversies coming up
before the Interstate Commerce com
mission, the need of a commerce court
has become more and more pressing,
and the promise still stronger that it
will prove the solution for most of our
still unsolved railway problems.
About a dozen members (of the State
Press association) arrived In the city yes
terday. The crowd Is expected to ba gath
eiing all day today. The men are pleased
with Lincoln as a meeting place. The re
ceptlon of the association in Omaha at the
various times it has met there was cold
according to some of the members. Lin.
coin Journal.
This Is characteristic of the dog-ln-the-manger
policy pursued by Lincoln
papers on every such occasion. The
State Press association is an experi
ence meeting of live up-to-date Ne
braska editors for the purpose of keep
ing up acquaintance, and profiting by
the lessons one another have learned
The association has met in Omaha at
various times, always the recipients of
hearty welcome and cordial entertain
ment. The association has never met
in Omaha without expressing its ap
preciation of its warm welcome and
hospitable treatment, even though
Omaha has never tried to persuade its
editorial guests that it Is the only
place where they can meet with the at
tention they deserve. The newspaper
men have been Invited to hold the next
session in Omaha, and if they accept
the invitation they may be sure that
their reception here will be neither
cold nor lukewarm.
Churches Getting Together.
The convention of the World's Sun
day School association in Washington
has set an example of practical Chris
tian fellowship before all religious
forces in discarding racial and denomi
national lines and uniting in one great
body of worshipers.
One of the Inconsistencies of the
church In hlstpry has been Its devotion
to creedal doctrines. Of course this
may not be difficult for members of
the, various denominations to under
stand and appreciate, but it Is confus
ing to . outsiders that the church is
seeking to bring within Its folds those
who are hard to convince that there
can be so many roads to salvation and
some of them so widely separated.
But the tendency of the times Is at
least toward lnterdenominatlonallsm
and the religious statistician will tell
that the church Is stronger numeri
cally today than ever and the rest ol
the people can see that' It Is more
energetic. So It would seem that the
disposition to break away from creeds
were in fact growing.
In the world's gathering at the na
tional capital denominations from all
climes and countries were inter
mingled and the men and women of
the colored races, after some little
misunderstanding as to the seating of
accredited delegates, were admitted on
the same footing with those of the
white races. It Is this spirit that is
lifting the Church higher In the com
mon respect and esteem of the world
and making It a more potent agency
for good.
Lincoln newspapers print in full the
brief of the local Traction company
lawyers against a 5-cent fare to Have
lock which has got Into court. While
there are no distinguishing signs to
indicate that this highly interesting
mass of legal verbiage is a paid adver
tisement, the earmarks warrant the
supposition that this good space would
not be thus wasted In behalf of a
grasping and greedy corporation aa
against the oppressed masses even by
these distinguished examples of unsel
fish uplift Journalism without some
moving inspiration. How kind In the
Traction company lawyers to furnish
advance copies of this document to the
papers with no expectation that it
would be printed, and no thought that
Its publication might influence the
Attendants upon the meeting of the
Nebraska Press association at Lincoln
are reported looking remarkably vA.ll
groomed and prosperous. Must be a
terrible disappointment to our amiable
democratic contemporary, whose
stock-in-trade Is in preaching distress
and calamity.
The old Latin proverb Is that "a
drop of fortune Is worth a cask of wis
dom." As Tingy Connors would say,
"I can buy brains at $25 a week." But
this is the day of neither the Latin
philosopher nor the Honorable Mister
It seems that Edgar Howard does
not take very kindly to the candidacy
of Congressman Hitchcock for United
States senator. Edgar evidently has
not forgotten what happened to him
when he ran for congress In this dis
Tests by experts disclose the fact
that the apple crop at Arbor Lodge has
been killed by the frost. Wonder If
they expected trees planted by the
Mormons to have a special dispensa
tion, while neighboring trees suffered T
According to a ruling of our su
preme court the railroads will not be
allowed to make advertising contracts
in exchange for mileage. That will
be harder on the railroads than 6n the
A New York doctor has fasted eight
days to demonstrate his hygienic
theory. We know gome doctors right
here in Omaha whom we would like to
see taking their own medicine.
A Missouri woman left her fortune
to "the relative., who loves me most."
It would be Interesting to know if she
left It to the relatives to tell her how
much they lay4 her.
Cieafl-a la On.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
King Oeorge may not be the equal of
his father in tact, but he sent two noted
fighting men to act aa T. K.'s suite In
IsspwHlbl Rights.
. Life.
The American people undoubtedly are
entitled to a great many rights, and, if
the truth were known. It would show
these rights to be worth having. But the
trouble with these rights is that they are
never around when they are needed. They
are either in cold storage or in safe de
posit boxes or In litigation or In some
ward heeler's - vest pocket. Inaccessible
rights are worsa than no rights at all.
Obstacles to World Peaea.
Indianapolis News.
Of course, aa tha gentlemen at Lake
Mohonk are saying, all the logic and
common sense of tha world are In favor
of international arbitration, peaceful
methods and . disarmament. But greed
and lust for power and international jeal
ousy and trade rivalry and "white men's
burdens," and exploitation of weikfc:'
races, and a few other things are mighty
powerful facts or considerations to kaep
the nations up to maintaining "the fig it
lng edge."
Rounded ' and Highly Useful
Pablio Lit.
Springfield (Mass.) Republican.
John. Adam Kasson, who has died at the
age of 88, was one of the best rounded, the
most satisfying of our publio-men In tha
last sixty yeans. Ha was no doubt most
remarkable as a legislator and debater, but
he had also great ability as an administra
tive official, and' his service in diplomacy
was Important. In all his lines of activity,
the same characteristics of high and con
stant principle, thorough knowledge and un
failing oapaclty, faithful pursuance of duty
and the patriotic virtue of regard for tha
people above the party, were manifested
Ha possessed the gift of eloquence as well
as the acquirement of argument. Indeed,
he belonged to the statesmanship of clear
brained and deep hearted scope and pur
pose, and not at al to the present day of
corporation Influence, and the narrowing
effect of partisan ascendancy which does
not always pay true regard to the Interests
of the whole people. Mr. Kasson left pub
lio Ufa of his own will because of the blind
refusal of congress to enact those treaties
of reciprocity between the United States
and other American republloa which he had
negotiated for mutual advantage. He was
utterly disgusted with the official career,
Ha waa in private Ufa what he was In pub
lic service honorable, sincere end trust
Our Birthday Book
Kay SS, 110.
Ralph Waldo Emerson, the Concord sage,
waa born May 86, 1843, In Boston, and died
April 7, 1881. As poet, essayist and lecturer
he Is among the front rank of American
literary men.
Norman Hendtickson, United States food
inspector at Omaha, is Just SO years old
today. He was born at Beloit, Wis., and
Is a graduate of the University of Wis
consin. He has been In the government
service for six years.
Arthur C. Potter, son of Philip Potter
and still a student at Union college, is
celebrating his twentieth birthday today.
He went through tha Omaha public achools,
and holds several local records as a lawn
tennis player.
Army Gossip
Hatters, of Inter it Oa and Back
of tha Tiring x,lne Gleaned from
tha Army and Havy Stagleter.
New rules for the examination of re
cruits for tha army have boon promulgated
from tha adjutant general'a office. They
take the place of the Epitome of Trlpler's
Manual, which will no longer be Issued
to the army. The new regulations are
the result of much study and research and
collaboration on the part of the various
officera who are concerned In the exam
ination of tha acceptance of the recruits
and represent tho fruits of experience.
The new regulations will furnish the most
soldierly appearing body In tha world and
establish a uniformity in the examination
of recruits.
The secretary of war has considered tha
question of holding a competitive examina
tion of civilian candidates from at large for
appointment aa second lieutenants In the
cavalry, field artillery, or Infantry, and
lias decided not to order such an examina
tion at present, if at all during the cur
rent year, on account of the prospect that
but few, If any, of the vacancies that may
exist on July 1, 1910, wilt remain available
to be filled by appointment after the mem
bers of this year's class of graduates of
the military academy, the qualified en
listed men of the army, and the honor grad
uates of colleges at which officers of the
army are serving as professors of mili
tary science and tactics shall have been
appointed. Under the laws and regulations
now in force persons of the classes speci
fied are entitled to appointment in ad
vance of any candidates from at large from
civil life.
The comptroller has rendered a decision
In the matter of the army officers who
wcro advanced one grado on account of
civil war service and who have been or
who are on active dirty. These officers were
advanced by tho act of April 23, 1904, and
the question raised by tho auditor was
whether they should receive, when on ac
tive duty, the pay of the grade from which
advanced or that of the higher grade. The
case In point was that of Major Edward
I. Orumley, who held only the office of
captain of Infantry, while he had the rank
and pay grade of major from April 23,' 1904.
Tho pay of a captain of Infantry of his
length of service is $210 "per month, while
the retired pay of a major of the same
length of service Is $218.76, so that, if Major
Orumley while on active duty was only
entitled to the active duty pay of a cap
tain, his pay while on active service would
be $8.75 a month less than it would have
been on active duty. It Is held by the
comptroller that the pay grade established
in the act as the basis of fixing retired pay
must be the same pay grade as used in
tho same act for fixing the full pay when
assigned to active service as provided In
the act. The officers of this olass, there
for, when on aottve duty will receive the
pay of the advanced grade.
It requires all the resistance possible on
the part of the army medical officera to
resist the demands which are constantly
being made for the adoption of various
devices and cure-alls for the army and
for Issue to pensioners. Recently the war
department ordered the investigation of a
nostrum which was urged for adoption
by Influential politicians, whose Interest
had been aroused by the prominent man.
ufacturere. It was found that this was
the same article which had been offered
for sale as long ago as 1832, when It
appeared as a cure for cholera. It is now
put forth as a ' remedy tor all sorts of
fevers. A device which has been recently
under consideration has been an electrical
contrivance for deaf people, It being de
sired by the manufacturers to have a
quantity purchased for periodical issues to
pensioners, after the manner of the Issue
of artificial limbs. The war department re
fused to purchase the device, largely on
aocount of Its cost, which waa $50; where
upon those who are Interested In the trans
action llnduced Representative Sher
wood of New York, to present a bill, the
text of which has been published in our
congressional report, authorizing the sur
geon general of the army to contract with
the manufacturers of this article and fur
ther providing an appropriation of $6,000 to
acquire the device. It is estimated that If
congress gave any such authority, It
'would require fully $100,000 to supply the
demand. At present the surgeon general's
office supplies deaf- pensioners with less
expensive aids to hearing, auch as the
familiar born, and it is not considered
Judicious to go to any greater expense In
the matter.
The War department has had under con
sideration for some weeks the case of Col
onel George F. Cooke, U. 8. A who waa
recently retired with the rank of colonel
from the grade of lieutenant colonel of the
Twenty-second Infantry. It has been deter
mined to bring that officer before a mili
tary court, which will ba convened In the
department of the Columbia. While Colonel
Cooke was on duty with his regiment in
Alaska, there occurred the loss of about
$11,000, which sum was supposed to have
been extracted from the safe at Fort Gib
bon, At the aame time an enlisted man,
a member of company C of the Twenty
second infantry, deserted, and the Investi
gation led to the suspicion that this soldier
had a large part of the money in his pos
session or knew something of the embes
slement. He has not been apprehended, al
though In his case, in consideration of the
circumstances, the War department author
ised a special reward of $1,000, instead of
the usual refard of $60 In the case of an
ordinary deserter. This occurred In Jan
uary, 1900. Colonel Cooke, then a lieutenant
colonel, applied for retirement and his
transfer from the aotlve list was deferred
until it was possible to retire him as of the
next higher grade. That action has led to
some criticism of the military authorities.
It was even then under consideration,
whether the officer should not be ordered
before an army court. It has now been
decided that such action shall be taken and
Colonel Cooke will be brought before a
court martial, presumably for failure to
take sufficient precautions against the loss
of the money at Fort Gibbon. Some months
ago tha secretary of war ordered that the
pay of Colonel Cooke be stopped to the
extent of about $10,000.
Slmm Par Oat Against A'lacty.
Kansas City Times.
The latest estimates of the Department
of Agriculture show that In the decade
from im to 1908 the production of field
products corn, wheat, oats and other
orops has Increased per cent. In the
same decade their value has Increased 99
per cent. Whether the Increased gold
supply had anything to do with this tre
menodus rise In prices must be left to the
economists to figure out and they dis
agree. What Is certain is that this
country has got to get back to first prin
ciples and produce more farm stuff it the
cost of living Is to be brought down.
Added Slgairieance.
St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
Mr. Bryan recalls with pride tha fact
that in all hla battles he polled a larger
vote than was aver given any other demo
cratic candidal. Ulit another significant
Tact is that it wasn't enough by from
COU.000 to 1,300,000.
Disappointed multitudes express scant
sorrow as Mr. llalley fades away.
An $3,000,000 radiator combine promises to
Increase the warmth of the ultimate con
sumer next winter.
Senator llalley of Texas Is slowly emerg
ing from tha camp of sartorial stamlpatt r..
Occasionally he chucks the soft felt and
dons a tall hat.
Tho oldest Irishman, "Paddy" Itlake of
Clare, is reported dead at tho age of 111).
Methuseleh can afford to loan his crown
to this modern recruit.
The wife of Dr. Hyde of Kansas City
formally Invites her mother and the rest
of the family to come Into court and show
cause why she should not get her share
of the Swops estate at once. The Hydes
are In pressing need of money.
A Miss Ryerson of Chicago, who was
buncoed out of $.100 by a giddy suitor a
year ago, by assurances of forgiveness In
duced him to come back from San Fran
cisco, met him at the depot and welcomed
him Into the hospitable arms of a police
man. Two can play the con game.
Germany has now seven officially
licensed aeronauts, or "sky pilots," to give
the old word Its suggested new and more
dignified meaning. In Austria only three
candidates have thus far succeeded in
passing the required examination. Of the
seven Germans, only ono has a license for
a. Wright machine.
Tnn.haiwTAii An nnl lnAnA A IMftlcA R
profession of your study of music?
rupll--Dcar me, no. I am only learning
to play to kill time.
Teacher (grimly) You're doing It. Balti
more American.
Futton-Ayrts I am caviare to the gen
eral, you know.
Miss Innocent Oh, are you, really? My
brother is in tho military, too. Boston
Mrs. Jenner Lee OnrleKO Do you know. I
have never seen my huxhRiid without his
beard. Some, day I am going to ask him to
shavo it off, so I can see what he really
lonK llKe.
Mrs. Selldom Holme O no: don't do that!
account of his
l 1 anndtiundgn
will be considered by many
about his African Trip. It is vividly
picturesque, full of the most interesting
comments upon natural history and as
a narrative of exciting and dangerous
adventure unsurpassed.
Illustrated by Kermit Roosevelt with the
most remarkable photographs of herds
of wild elephants ever taken.
Dy Arthur Ruhl. Illustrated.
A story of mystery.
fJaurico BtiovjlQft'a noteL
You'll he sorry. I Vnrw Mm before he
ever had any beard. t'hlcago Tribune.
Mrs. Uronson My husband is pin In
spoken; he calls a spade a spade.
Mrs. Woodson So does mine, but I must
decline to repent what he calls tha lawn
mower. Life. ...
bt'Ciituu mere fiolMiim and jesam.
Survivor Y-yc. sir; the crew flolted
sonio of It, I believe, and Jetted tho ifst
of It. Chicago Tribune.
lie (enthusiastically) The scenes In Iho
nlHV nr. no tmnff tftv Antll.llv tkn mu
breath away.
!ho (coldly) if they are stronger than
your breath they must be Herculean.
Haltlmore American.
Visitor What became of that other wind
mill that was here Inst year?
Native There was only enough wind for
one. so we took it down Everybody 'a
"C. l'.,.a B fa A tir..fnu.ln.,..l W . . . . I.. u . i a
the policeman with the stubby mustache.
"Well, I thr.HKht I was." replied the
subject of the Interview. "Uitt the way you
fellers Rot mo makes me nollove I'm only
an amateur.
Brooklyn Eagle.'
(My speaking has been overestimated, and
the good It lias done exaggerated. It Is
unfair to say that 1 won thrve presidential
nominations with my1 tongue. Bryan to the
Public Kpeaklng Club of America.)
The first by lung
And tongue
Was won;
Cold tonK"o the second furnished;
The third
Occurred, . ; ;
And stirred
Our fun;
All knives were sharp and burnished.
The nation's Joko
Thus broke.
Of all
Whose views were democratic
Who'd end
Or mend
The trend ,
They call
A boom for schemes erratic.
Ah, Uryan, dear,
Wo hear
You say
'Twos not on tongue you gambled;
Thourh bravo
Wc waive
The issue grave.
Since off the stage you'vo ambled.
Kenia in the
Dy Samuel O. Dunn