rilK HEE: OMAHA. TUESDAY. MAY .V 1010. Hie umaiia Daiwt Bee. ixji nhed hy kiavard kosewateh. ICTtJtl UilflCWATER, fclITOH. Knteied at Omaha jcwtoffic as second i laa matter. TKKMi OK Kl'BW'RII'TIOV. lally lK-e t Incliidlnn Hunday), per week.ISc liaily Keemlthoirt ffundayi, pr e-k. UK" jiA.iy Iim (without Hutirtay, on year..$4l 1 tally !' and Mjnday, unc year W iki,ivf;hkh by tarp'kr. Kvenlna bf (without Hundayt. per week.ltc Kvenlng Be (with Hunday). per week....10r Sunday Hee, one year 12 .50 fatutnay Hee, one year 1W Address all tomplalnt of Irregularities III delivery ti City Circulation Department. OKFICKS. Omaha The Ure Building. Hnuth Omaha Twenty-fourth and N. 1'iHincll Hluff lfi H-ott Htreet. Lincoln &) l.lttle Hulldlt.tf. ( liica(i l.Viti Marquette building. New YorkRoom 1101-1102 No. to West Tlnrty -third Street. VVaxlilntrton-16 Fourteenth Street, N. W. f O RR KS I'ON D K SC K Communication relating to new and editorial matter should be addressed: Omaha Heo, Kditorlal 1 tepartimnt. - RPIM 1TTA Nf'KS. Ui-mlt by draft, expie or otal order payable to The lice Publishing Company, only 2-oeo.t utamps received In iayment of mull account. personal check, except on oinaha or eastern exchange, not accepted. STATEMENT OP" ClRCt'LATlON. Slate of Nebraska, Douglas County, as.: (leorRe H. Tsschuck, treasurer of Tho Heo I'uOllshlng Company, being duly aworn, :iya that the actual number of full and complete, copies of The Pally, Morning, Kvenlntf and Sunday Uee printed during the month of April. )I0, waa a follow; 1 41,800 1 43,910 43,730 ' IT 42,200! 3. . . . . .40,100 1" 43,301 4 44,400 u 42,770 K 40,840 7 43,680 48880 9 43,080 10 44,800 11 48,840 12 42,880 13 42,000 14 48,580 15 42,700 19 42,880 20 43,560 21 42,860 22 43,630 13 43,100 24 41,400 2N 43,840 26 43,830 ; 43,800 28 42,890 29 43,760 311 43,870 Total 1,384,840 Returned copies 10,421 Net total 1,374,118 Dally average 48,470 OiSORUE B. TZSCHUCK. Treasurer. Subscribed In my preserve and worn to before me thla 2d day 'of May. 1910. .M. P. WALKER. Notary Public. $n bar rl hers tear I UK (he city tem porarily ahonld have The Be mailed la I hem, ' A dresses Mill be changed aa often aa requested. Oh, yes, and there Is Oyster Bay. Thus far Mr. Bryan has not picked his next running mate. Mark Twain did not need that mil lion to make him a rich man. Mayor Gaynor did get in some stiff uppercuts . on yellow Journalism, though. 8aaiaBMaB8aBaaaaaaBaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw Tho country will be spared the hu miliating scene of a Hammerstein ben efit, we trust. Ah, at last, the cost of living has come down. Salt has been reduced 50 cents a ton. The weather man was a little late getting around to the rain spout, but there is still plenty of time. One reason why it seems to his critics that President Taft is "gaining ground" is that he had not loBt it. Again the public is assured that "Mrs. Leavltt's wedding will be a quiet affair." Why should It not be quiet? The progress of investigations in Philadelphia has reached the hospitals for the insane. Some maniac gone wrong, probably. The London minister who said Americans were intoxicated with wealth probably meant we were tight with our money. Mow about it? They tell us that Taggart was beaten, but Taggart's man was nominated. And can this be true, Mr. Bryan? Mr. Bryan is "hearing from the home folks," if that is what he wanted to accomplish by his initiative and referendum letters. Come on with your own count if the census man missed you. Omaha does not want to omit a person and you will help swell the list. That Louisville preacher who told his congregation "a gentleman will not say damn," evidently does not know all the gentlemen in Kentucky. Cheer up. There may not be any cherries this year, but there will be lots of corn, and other sources of farm wealth will be present In plenty. Mrs. Metty !reen"s son, who has re ceived letters from 150 women declar ing they will love him for himself alone, up to date has not lost his head. Judge Grosscup says after bis visit at Monte Carlo, "I found myself with out funds." Some of us have made similar discoveries this side of Monte Carlo. Old Dobbin Is not yet out of the race. Despite the aggression of the automobile, 471 horses sold for an average of $300 each in Chicago the other day. The big weather chief at Washing ton is promising another week of cool weather.. This will ba all right if he will Just leave the rain valve wide open. It Is a most striking coincident that J. W. Van Cleave of St. Lou's and Samuel tioropers should be Uen simultaneously. Mr. Gomptir , f.tc ing a prison sentence as a result or a controversy witu van Cleave vr tabor matter Congress Still Has Time. Tho member of congress who Insists upon an early adjournment lnntPtnl of a completion of pending legislation will have more to face In the coming election than the man who puts busi ness above politics, for that Is the answer to all this talk about not hav ing time to finish what has been be gun. It Is difficult to Justify the ad journment policy even on the basis of politics, and that Is the last basis from which It should be considered. The democrat or Insurant republican who Imagines the country la not deeply Interested in ' this remaining legislation, we believe, is deceiving himself, Just as he is deceiving him self when he thinks he will be able to explain away any filibustering from now on. Unless all signs are wrong the people are in a serious mood. They want action and they expect more from congress than it has yet accomplished, though, under the administration's in fluence, it has wrought out a vast amount of constructive legislation. The thougbful, observing man can scarcely be deceived by what has gone on and what Is still going on at Wash ington. Democrats and recalcitrant repu Dlicans snouin remeinuer mm president Taft and his friends have jn. nrt fiiihiiflterini? Thev are not the ones who have obstructed business and they are not the ones who are now talking adjournment. This talk of the weather being too warm for further activity will not make a real effective campaign argu ment. With a month and half before summer begins there is ample time for all that should be done If congress really wants to do it. Those political fences at home may b easier to repair along about the middle of June or first of July with faithful service than they would be earlier than that with unfaithful service. Unbending His Dignity. If Dr. Eliot is correctly quoted In advocating suicide as the only al ternative for the hopelessly enfeebled man, the world that so long looked up to his Judgment and honored his con servatism as the president of Harvard must feel a pang of disappointment; if he Is not correctly quoted he should lose no time in rushing to his own de fense and saving himself from the contumely that followed Dr. Osier to Europe. Euthanasia will do as a hobby for some men, but not those who have en joyed the distinction of -Dr. Eliot as one of the moulders of national thought and if he is to hold the esteem he has gained through long years of strong leadership he will have to redeem himself from thla departure. Such a philosophy might thrive In a country where optimism did not abound as it does In- America, but it will never do well here. It is alien to the conception of life in the United States and could be indigenous only In a country where despair instead of hope was the ruling passion of the people. Mere the best thought of the day is devoted to new ways, not of meeting death, but of combatting disease. State and national governments are engaged with private enterprise In a warfare against ailments heretofore regarded as Incurable and are meeting with astounding success. Men are looking up, not down. They are following life, not death. .They are gaining courage In combat, not wasting it in submis sion. Strength, not weakness, is wanted today. Dante's picture of the suicide corner of hell still looms be fore men with ominous gloom. The man with the key to health and life will get a better hearing today than the one with a somber, sickly tale of how easy It is to give up and die. The world has need of such men as Dr. Eliot, but it needs them for their virility of character, their nobility of learning, their wisdom and their sanity. Erudition suffers and dignity is slain when men of his type stoop to eccentricity. We have enough lesser collegians in that class already. Inspecting Tnlips. The world has at last caught a new glimpse of Theodore Roosevelt. In the nstlonal gardens at Amsterdam Inspecting tulips It catches this strenu ous statesman, this audacious lion hunter, In a new role. How does that comport with your "benevolent des pot," Colonel Watterson? Strange, too that this scion of Holland ancestry should find in Amsterdam occasion for such esthetic pursuit. Holland, one usually associates with something robust, sturdy, Just as one associates Theodore Roosevelt. Yet even this anomaly, when brought under ' the scrutiny ot its real interest, is not disillusioning. Of course It is a far cry from the African Jungles to these quiet flower gardens, but no further thaji the stretch of this man's versa tility. Tulips have a history In Europe and even Asia and they are valuable as well as Interesting today. They were introduced in the sixteenth century in the low countries of Europe from Con stantinople by way of Vienna and Venice and there is a legend that an Antwerp merchant once cooked the bulbs, thinking they were onions and ate them and that from this sprang the habit of Persians and some Asiatics to use them for food. But of course, Colonel Roosevelt was far too well-informed on tulips to endanger himself to such an humiliating blunder, even if he may not be re garded as a connoisseur on the parent genus llllaceae. Yet one may imagine with what delicate accuracy he com ments on tho detail of the WH aub- Jectlng to the scrutiny of hi analytical mind each Utile segment, and tamen, explaining the Intricate composition of the three-celled ovary with its sessile stigma and how it ripens into a leathery capsule with myriads of tiny seeds. Nor is it out of reason to supposn that, whether the tulip ever becomes the national flower of Holland, this little incident will have a tremendous Influence on the popularity of this bulbous herb mong the Dntchmen. It Is not as common there as along the northern shores of the Mediterranean, in the Levant, Armenia and jther places In the vicinity of Asia Minor, where It grows wild, but Hollanders have been exerting quite an effort toward its study and culture and If the interest ex President Roosevelt has shown in the plant Is to have the American effect, It will simply bull the tulip market In that country. "Good Old Edward." The west-end shopkeepers of Lon don have ever found a friend In their king, whom they have hailed as "Good Old Edward" on many oc casions when he acceded to their re quests. They are now applauding him because he lias set his foot down on an election earlier than autumn in deference to the business Interests. Trade and industry never go in vain to the crown in Great Britain and now when they advise the king that a gen eral election In June or July would upset business conditions and begged him to favor a later cwnpalgn they get what they ask. Edward drops the hint to Mr. Asquith and immediately the die Is cast for a late election. Strangely enough the visit of Colonel Roosevelt has entered Into the situation as a vital factor, though Rooseveltism does not threaten to be come a dominant Issue in the cam paign as it did on the spur of a moment in France. Shopkeepers, however, have told the king that the visit of the ex-president will probably Increase the American colonization in London 50 per cent and have a de cidedly stimulating effect upon busi ness. For these conditlonsto be dis turbed by the approach of an election would be fatal. And why should not the king see the wisdom of waiting? In the meantime the country will have had more time for sober thought and action and the voting may profit thereby. , This activity on Edward's part Is a rather stern rebuke to those reports of his ill-health. The fact is, as Lon don specials have it, he has never lost his hold on events at Vestmln3ter, though so long absent from London. Reclamation Returns. The actual test of the government participation In the-wprk of reclaim ing the waste regions of the west has proven that the experiment a suc cess. The settlers who tooK up iana under the government-built ditches are paying up promptly, a great ma jority of them paying In advance. This can mean but one thing, and that is that the government will receive back the money expended for construction of dams and ditches to provide water for Irrigating the dry lands. The peo ple who have settled on these lands are prospering, and the net result of the project is the creation of new homes and new sources of supply for national citizenship and national wealth. As one of the pioneers in the move ment for government control of irriga tion projects, The Bee takes pardona ble satisfaction in the outcome of the policy it has advocated for years. Governor Deneen has taken about the only course open to him in the case of Senator Lorimer against the regularity of whose election such dam aging charges are made by the Chicago Tribune by having it submitted to a grand Jury. The charges, though de nied by the senator, were of such a character as to demand investigation, and Lorimer should be one of the first to aid In the Inquiry if he Ib innocent of any wrong-doing, as he professes to be. .Mr. Bryan is getting some very pointed responses from the legislators in reply to his query as to whether they will meet In extraordinary session and adopt the program of the'peer less leader" rejected while they were In regular aFsembly. He will have to como stronger with his paramount claims if he is going to start much in Nebraska. The 2-cent fare law is now fighting for Its life in the federal courts. With an increased number of railroads pay ing increased dividends on increased capitalization, it ought to be a little difficult for the corporations to show the court that they are losing money cn the basis of the rates being charged. It now appears that those Omaha experts who were taken to Milwaukee may lose their snaps because they were employed in violation of the city's charter. That is one of the pe culiarities of the socialist. He has a most uncomfortable regard for the law when it affects the other fellow. With potatoes selling at 10 cents a bushel in western Nebraska and 80 cents in Omaha, the householder won ders Just where the difference in price goes. An increase of 700 per cent in a Journey of 300 miles is surely big enough to attract attention. Still, It Is a little late to discover that Carroll G. Pearse's appointment ac superintendent of the Milwaukee schools wag Invalid. Mayor Seldel may see to It, however, that the so cialist administration makes no such egregious error. If the Tensus man did not get you last week you should go after him this week. Cut out the coupon from the front page of Th" Bee, fill it in and drop It into the nearest mall box. That is all you will have to do. It may be noted, however, that Mr. Hammerstein did not quit the stage business under the oppression of high priced song birds until he cashed in their songs at $2,000,000 net. Mr. Bryan's disapproval of Governor Hughes for the supreme court cer tainly cannot be taken as indicating his preference for the New Yorker as an opponent next time. aaaaaaaasaaaaaaamBBaaavMBBiBMBaaBaHBMBasBa Many Americans are going to Eu rope this summer, among them Mr. Gallagher of San Francisco, who once drove a wagon for a living and later served as supervisor. Archbishop O'Connell 1b a little late, to say the least, in his attack of Colonel Roosevelt over that Vatican episode. Most everybody has agreed to forget it. Abaolnte Proof Required. Kansas City Times. Four men are now attempting to aacend Mount McKlnley, but the humbug-fred public will never believe they have succeeded un til they bring; the summit with them. I Who'M Afraid f Louisville Courier Journal. Because Senator Hale, at the age of 75, will retire from politic, great change In the republican party are predicted. Doe the proposed retirement of Mr. Hetty Green from active business mean that there is no more money to be made in America? Pat It on the Comet. ChiCHgo Hecord-llerald. Nearly all tho railroad companies are in creasing the wage of their employes. If the comet la responsible there will be a general hope that It may Jump ita orbit and make arrangements to come oftener after this trip. Learning- the Trick. Pittsburg Dispatch. Cuba' prompt , dispatch of troops and machine guns to Its disaffected provinces show that It Is rapidly learning the art of elf-government. Taking to the woods Is no longer mistaken for patriotism in that Island, but la appralspd In Ita ptper relation as an attack on the government. Unman Rlichta and Property Rights. Sioux City Tribune. Roosevelt say that property haa Its rights to e protected; that human beings have their rights which are also to be guarded, but when property rights conflict with human rights, property rights must give away. Among the property rights that plainly override human tights are the purely Judge-made laws of contributory negligence, assumption of risk and fellow servant Immunity of property. f'HA.XKES STKI IX .NEBRASK A. Contending; AMlltlon In the Dnuo eratle Family. Chicago Tribune. In Nebraska the democrats seem con fident that one of their number will Me selected to BUceeed Mr. Uurkett. whose term In the senate la about to expire. Aa usual, Mr. Bryan Is In tthe offing. He has not' said that he wishes the honor. On the other hand, he has not declined it. Also, as usual,' there are a number of more or less Jeffersonlan democrat who occupy the position of Barkis, whom, It will be re membered, waa willin'. Of these, one, Gilbert M. Hitchcock, repre sentative of the Second district, may be said to be more than willing or even anx ious. Ho Is determined. Mr. Hitchcock is the gentleman who made Mr. Bryan pos sible. He Is the Frankenstein of the demo cratic party, and having created the mon ster, he ha,' like his prototype, been un able to control him. He supported him twice for congress, once for senator, and several times for president. Hitchcock, who has had tho j-..io to sit where his father did In Cue 'VO onre nad the prize In his grasp. The . gov tor could have ap pointed him, but Bryi.n Interposed and William Vincent Allen waa sent in his place. Hitchcock forgave the Ingratitude of his political creation and afterward even supported Bryan for the presidency. But this time he In determined not to be balked. The Bryan crowd haa secured a promise of withdrawal from all the other candi dates but one. This one will forego his ambition If Hitchcock also will withdraw. There the matter stands. It Is again In Bryan's hands. Mr. Hitchcock Is In a position to appreciate the wall of Lear: How sharper than a serpent's tooth It is To have a thankless child. Our Birthday Book May 3, 1810. Jacob A. Riis, author and philanthropist, was born May 3, 1849, in Denmark. He came to this country and became a police reporter on the New York Sun, which brought him In contact wlih Mr. Roose velt, and made him afterwards a close personal friend of the president, whose biographer he became. William R. Lincoln, car service agent of the Union Pacific, la 46 years old today. He is a native of Missouri and began rail roading with the St. Joseph & Western as it meesengwi- In 1879, since which time he has been going steadily upward. Brigadier General Charles T. Alexander, retired army officer, waa born May a, K General Alexander was born In Indian Ter iltory and has a long military record. He now Uvea in Washington. Dressing Your Hair For the Evening (From Style and .Fashion Magazine.) "Frequently, after the day's work or pleasure, there la little time to dress the hair for the evening. For occasions like thla. It la well to be prepared with the ever-ready and convenient dry shampoo. 'A most excellent shampoo Is made by mixing four ounces of therox with four ounces of orris root. Keep some of this In an old talcum box with sifter top, ao that you can sprinkle It thinly and evenly through the hair. Brush the hair thoroughly and a dean sculp and beau tiful, lustrous hair can be achieved In less than twenty minutes. "Nothing is V good as this mixture to quickly remove the day's dust. It ahould be remembered, too, that much water Is not good for the hair and frequent wash ing lakes out the life and color." (Adv.) Army Gossip Matters of Interest Oa and Back of the rtrtng X.tne Gleaned from the Army and STavy Beg-later. The member of the Infantry equipment board, which a In clmi for so long at Rock Island for tho purpose of reducing the burden of the foot soldier, arrived In Washington cn Tuesday to be present at a service demonstration of the devices which have been recommended for adop tion. Thesi officer were Colonel Henry A. Greene. Tenth Infantry: Major George I toll. Jr.. Inspector general' department; C;t tnln .lames P. Unrbeson. Twelfth Infantry; Captain M. . Stewart, Flghth lnf-tntr. and Captain John I.. He Witt. Twentieth Infantry, Equipment for three officers and 10S men were shipped from Hock Is land and these are being tried at the Wash ington barracks tinder practical conditions with the men fully accoutered. The pro gram Include pitching camp, breaking camp, starting out for a march with the personal equipment In position, and with the wagons loaded with the equipment which I to he carried In that wav. In cidentally, there will he tested also the board' Idea of an arrangement for th" haversack ration. The demonstration 1 for the benefit of officers of the general taff. the chiefs of bureaus and others who are Interested. The varied comments of army officer who tried out at Fort Myer. Washington Barrack and Fort Leavenworth the provi sions of the tentative general order de scribing Ihe army physical test have been referred to the general staff of the War department. Major Genet al Bell before he completed his tour of duty as chief of staff went over the reports, but found them too voluminous and conflicting In contents to settle the -questions raised. It is possi ble that nothing will be done until General Wood come to Washington a chief of staff. There ia sufficient material evi-' dently to keep the general staff busy find ing out Just what Is meant by the draft of the general. order and what Is the best system. Among the reports filed I one from the surgeon general of the army, who points out what he regard a some of the defects of the order. Among those excused from the physical test are army engineers and a few medical officers on special duty. General Torney believe these exceptions might be extended to Include members of the permanent personal or the special staff corps, whose experience In the discharge of their duties should count for more than the ability to meet exacting physical re quirements. Thaj comptroller has before him a ques tion of much importance to some twenty five or thirty retired officers who are on active duty. It relates to the pay and al lowances of the officer who were ad vanced on the retired list In rank one grade under the act of April 23, 1WH. on account of civil war service. They were not commis sioned as of the advanced rank, It will be remembered, but they have, when' detailed upon active duty, received the pay and allowances of the higher grade. The comp troller I now determining whether such officers have been or may be entitled to this Increased pay. The attorney general in 1904 In an opinion dated July 11 of that year held In effect that a retired officer In this clas doe not hold an office in the army as of the Increaaed rank. The comp troller will, parly In the coming week, in all tirobablllty, decide as to whether these retired officers, so advanced, when assigned to active duty shall receive the full pay and allowances of the rank they hold on the retired list, or whether their active pay shall be that of the office they hold in the service. An effort was made during the sixtieth 'congress, and Is the subject of pending legislation, to have this matter' adjusted, so as to provide for the Issuance of commissions. This would have secured the officers In their tights to the pay of the rank To which they were advanced. The secretary of war has d'fpproved the recommendation of the surgeon general of the army that all recruits receive the antl-typhold vaccination upon enlistment. General Torney presented this proposition to the War department a week or two ago with the Idea of gradually Immunizing the army against typhoid. If the recruits were vaccinated as they came into the service, it would not be long before the vast ma jority of the enlisted force had received this form of protection against this par ticular disease. At present vaccination has been administered to volunteers among the officers and enlisted men and It Is esti mated by the medical authorities that about 6.000 have received the treatment. It was expected that this voluntary vaccina tion would not do much In the way of pro tection against typhoid, but It would have its value In showing the harmlcssness of the procedure and this has been sufficiently demonstrated. It has not been considered advisable to establish compulsory vaccina tion and it Is now held by the secretary of war that until this Is done In the army It Is not desirable to require recruits to sub ject themselves to the antl-typhold vaccina tion. The difficulties which have beset Chap lain J. A. Dallam, Twelfth Infantry, appear to be adjusted, after considerable attention to his case at Manila and In Washington. The situation has- been one which was more or less embarrassing to the nil itary authorities, as Is any official determina tion of a question Involving religious be lief. Chaplain Dallam, who was appointed to the army from the Episcopal church in 1904, Is about to be promoted to the grade of captain in his corps. He has been en tertaining very liberal views, which were considered as separating him from the de nomination to which he was once accred ited. The officers In Manila who reported on the circumstances were emphatic In their comments that "something" should be done, but It has not appeared very clearly to the military authorities in Washington Just what could be done. There was a chance, however, that when Chap- I lain Dallam came up for promotion to the grade of captain he would be found qualified and this, it Is understood, was In timated to him, unless he should declare himself as connected with some denom ination. This step has now been taken by the chaplain, who haa become an ordained minister of the Unitarian church. In this connection he made a very candid and straightforward statement of his religious beliefs In a way to impress the military authorities. This may not dispose of the question in the way which Is satlsfaotory to those who believe that an army chap lain should never abandon his cre'd, but there aeema to be no question of Chaplain Dallam's efficiency or of his usefulness as an army chaplain. Will Ik WhUkere tome Off? Philadelphia Hecord. The use of the razor Is not absolutely obligatory upon members of the supreme court. Two Justices wear mustaches and occasionally a beard Is seen there. But the clean shave haa always prevailed, and. while the late Justice Brewer wore a board to the court, he very soon took It off. Now there Is some curloiity to know whether the dense and briskly foliage that covers the lower part of Uuvernor Hughes face will come oil The report made to the comptroller under date ot March 29, 1910, shows that this bank has Time Certificates of nppnsit $2,034,278.61 3Va Interest paid on certificates ruunlng for twelve months. i ii m iiii iM I... .- IM mi? PERSONAL AND OTHERWISE. Buffalo Bill's farewell tour I the real thing. But there Is no limit to Its dura tion. The weather man's skill In transforming dry Into wet territory commands the ap plause of the multitude. One death has beencausfd by n hair-trigger foidlng bed In New York. The contriv ance was adjusted to muzzle a snore and delivered the goods. While the nlnged aviators of Dayton, O., are talking about patent rights and things, Paulhau Is diligently working his wings and scooping In the money. After such scenes as occurred at the Drexel-Gould wedding It woujd seem that tho high contracting piirttes might be for given If they eloped Instead of presenting the spectacle with such attractive scenic and dramatic effects. A Missouri court holds that you are guilty of contributory negligence If you go too carelessly near the business end of a mule. Mules and dynamite are two articles with which It Is not Judicious, either ac tually or legally, to becom-? familiar or Jocular. Alfred W. Jones has entered upon his twentieth year in a New Hampshire Jail, serving an indeterminate term for refusing to pay a 11.500 Judgment. Besides culti vating a fine bunch of whiskers he Is writing a monograph on "What I Don't Know About the High Cost of Living." The eminent soul mate chaser, Frederick Plnney Karle of New York, has Just been disconnected from number three and is diligently hiking after a French affinity In Paris. Katie is likely to keep up tho habit until he finds an affinity skilled with the rolling pin. Then there will be something doing. After a majority of the parents held ex ecutive sessions on the old fashioned wood shed plan with their daughters, the aqrorlty of a Connecticut high school decided to revise the ritual and cut out feeding soap to Initiate. Executive sessions still exert an impressive influence proportioned to the size and resiliency of the paddle. The empress of Abyssinia ha had four previous husband before she became the wife of King Menellk. Three of them died quite suddenly and the fourth, less amen able to treatment than the rest, was sum marily divorced. A the empress has not had a change of scenery for a dozen years, the wish for mourning gown prompts re ports of Menellk's death. But the ungal land negus refuses to shuffle off. Pretexts for a Kqnrrir, Philadelphia Record. The railroads are determined to mark up their freight rates, but some of them have sufficient regard for public opinion to pro pose to submit the increased schedules to the Interstate Commerce commission for Its approval In advance. Of course the ground for the advance is the belief thai shippers are prosperous enough to submit to It; that the present rates are not "all that the traffic will bear." But during the depression the railroads generally kept their rates pretty well no. As soon n business began (o Improve, and before It really got on Its feet, the railroads began increasing their rates, sometimes directly and sometimes Indirectly by changes of classification. The pretext on which they claim a right to increase their charges Is the higher wages they are paying. But the shippers have also had to pay Increased wages, and the growing net profits of t he railroads do not give much support to the plea of necessity made by them. Will your Edison Phonograph play both Standard (two-minute) Records Amberol (four-minute) Records Think what it means to have Records that play twice as long as those you have another verse of the songs you like, a long-enough waltz or two-step, a monologue that gets some where. Grand Opera rendered without cutting or hurrying. Without the Amberol attachment you arc missing a lot, and to bring this added pleasure to you We offer attachment and ten Amberol Records at jvwt about the price of attachment alone Go Go to tiear-by Edison dealer and get the details of this liberal offer, at once while it ii in effect These are special A mberols which will not be listtv) and which cannot be had except under tfu'i attachment otter. They cover a wide ranfre of entertainment and have been made by the country's foremost mutiral talent Dealers have the attachments and the Records. If there ia no dealer near by, write us. . Ed isoo Phonograph! 112.50 to M0 CO Kilson Standard Records 35c Kdlson Amberol Records (twice as loDiiJ.'ee Edison Grand Opera Records. . 75c. to U W National Phonograph Company, IS Lakotido Anmu, Orango, N. J. Nebraska Cycle Co. represents the National Phono graph Co. in Nebraska, and carries huge stocks of Edison Phonographs, including the models mentioned in the National Phonograph Co's announcement on this page today, as well as a stock of over 100,000 records. Nebraska Cycle Co. 15th and Harney Sts., Geo. E. Mickel, 331 Bifadway, Omaha., Neb. Manager. Council Bluffs, Ia, lip a f ill f'Boj lira 1 fjfjj 1. itnfl'J i WHITTLED TO A POINT. "There Is one thing singularly Inappro priate about the way a fish story is usually I tceiv el." What Is thai?" "The listener seldom hear it Willi buted breath." Baltimore. American. Suitor Surely your father woud do s V thlng for us. t Doctor's Daughter Inib-cd ho would. t' said that he would o.uerato on you :iu time free of charge Judge, "Are you in favor of reforming the cal endiii ' "I am, by gosh. It would help tti 1 1; li 1 1 1 wlth the plowing to tak n, few weeks off winter and lack It ifito early spring. Louisville Courier-Journal. British Visitor Do you think it's a good thing to make so much fuss ovei your Fourth of July? It reopens tho old. old wound. Yankee Host Well, our doctors nil tel! us It Is a good thing to keep the wounds open. Chicago Tribune. "I suppose you saw many strangp people whll you were traveling around tho world?" "Yes," replied the candid man. "I strongly suspected that some of those for eign people looked as queer to mo as 1 looked to thorn." Washington Star. "Excuse my laughing," said Mrs. P.ridey, 'but I'll never forget my feelings when you asked me to marry you." "Why.'' asked her husband "Was it such a hard thing to answer?" "No. but you were such a Soft tiling to answer." Catholic Standard and Tln. Nan The trouble In trying to entertain Clarence Is Ills painful bashiulness. After you have talked yourself out there comes me Inevitable awkward pause Fan Awkward pause? 1 should say sol W hy, ir he even so much as touches your hair It all comes tumbling down! Chicago Tribune. She 1 wonder why Methuselah lived to such a great old age? He I'liinips some young woman mar ried him for his money. Boston Trunsciipt. "The next thing In order," Bald the mas ter of ceremonies, referring to the slip of paper in his hand. "Is music. ' "No, sir," savagely whispered the leader of the band. "Not music. 1 'he next thing Is 'Hall Columbia.' " Taking his station, lie scowled, waved his baton, and the noise of the brasses burst forth. Chicago Tribune. WALL OF A BACHELOR. Boston Transcript. I am a most unlucky man In matters of the heart, From youth Us been my wish to play A matrimonial part; 1 must have popped a hundred times And In a Hundred ways, But all in vain, a bachelor 1 11 have to end my days. I asked Miss I'age lo bo my bride, She turned me down, alas! Miss Wicks made light of my request, Miss llay said: "(Jo to grass!" Miss Bird 1 begged to fly with inc, But she could give no hope; Miss Mellen listened to my pica. But Baid; "1 cantelope," Miss Soule refused her heart to give, Miss King my queen to be. In vain 1 asked Ailss Frost to melt. Miss Leach to stick to nie. Miss Pond threw water on my hopes, Miss Foote refused her hand. I tried to pop to fair Mis Beach, But did not have the sand. Miss Pott I asked to cook mv beans, Miss Lodge with me to dwell. 1 told Miss I.aild I'd be her man, I tried to ring Miss Bell; And thus from maid to maid 1 went Proposing, but In vain Alas! a lonely bachelor 1 in destined to remain. ' a My first love 1 remember well, Miss Shlpp, her 1 adored; But when 1 asked to be her mate She threw me overboard. Ml.ss Cone was next, 1 told her that For her 1 pined, but she Said If a husband she desired She'd never pitch on me.