n
T1IK i)fATTA sr.NDAY HKK: MAY 1. 10W.
-Tub-Omaha Sunday Ufa
FOUNIjKD BT EDWARD ROSE WATER.
VICTOR ROSE WATER, EDITOR.
Entered at Omaha poslotflce atcond
elaaa matter.
TERMS OF SUllfcCRllf ION.
i'Blljr lira including Hur.day), per week.151
1'ally Bee (without bunday), P wK.c
i'aily 1 (without 8ui:dny. ona year..4'
i'ally lira and Sunday, ana year .W
DELIVERED BIT CARRIER.
P.vnlri iiee (without bundM), per week. fie
Evening Bva (with Sunday), per eik....l'c
bunday Bee, one year ie"
featurday Kea, ona year
Addreaa all complalnta of Irrearularltlee In
deliver to City Circulation Jjtpartrnent.
Or F1CK3.
Omaha Tha Bra Bunding.
buulh Omaha Twenty-fourth and N.
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Lincoln 61s Little Building.
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New i or k-Rooms lVUl-llui No- 3 West
Tim i -inn u etrrM, ,
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CORRESPONDENCE.
Communicationa relating to news and
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Oinaba Bee, Editorial Department.
REMITTANCES.
Remit by draft, express or postal order
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STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION.
Stat of Nebraska. Douglas County. '
, Uaorga B. Tscbuck, treasurer of The
Baa l'ubllablng Company, being duly
worn, aaya that tha actual number or.
full Mid complete coplea of 'J na Daily.
Morning. Evening and tiunday Bee printed
during, tha month, of March. 1110. was
a loiiowai
i.l i 48,770
I.... 43318
t. 43,700
4.,.,...... 43.C30
.... 43,860
., W 41,600
1 43,840
43,780
43,710
18 43,180
11. 43.810
It 44,880
ll.k.. ...... 41,700
1 43,130
3.aa
)
IT
II
.11
it
49.870
43,110
43,030
43,090
41,800
Jl 43,140
j 2 43,830
43.8M
U-k 43.830
lf 41,400
J( 43,810
jg 43.770
gt 43.410
43,760
Total l,3?!,JS2
Returned coplea,
10,730
Daily avarace
OKU B. TiSCUUCK.
Treasurer.
Subscribed In my praaanca and worn
to before ma tula Slat day of Marco
1118. M. P. WALKER.
Notary rubllo.
, Sabaorlbera laawlaaj taa city tem
porarily akoald Ut Tka Be
,aaaI them. Addraaa will ba
caaaftt aa oftaa aa ravaeated.
We saved the dandelions, anyway.
Tom Taggart still haa Lick Springs
left, though. '
f i
" tiomer big corporation will be sure
to trab Jeffries' press agent.
"Was Hughes afraid of defeat?'
asks a democratic paper. Piffle.
The defeat of "Pluto" Taggart prob
ably will not bear the water market,
though.
, Why talk of the "sane Fourth?
Why ; reserve sanity for one day
in
the year?
: Still it is much nicer to call a man
aV auburn-haired insurgent than a red
headed rebel. ' i
A Michigan minister says singing
makes the devil mad. Can you blame
Mm, sometimes?
.. Now if Mr, Carnegie can coax the
dove to fly into the temple ot peace It
will be all right.
( With the census man and the asses
sor both at large thei average citizen
has a poor chance to escape.
' Senator Depew says he is going to
urope, but he has not tried to make
anybody believe T. 11. sent for him.
' The colonel, has not aroused Eu
rope's curiosity to the point where
anybody has asked t,o see the big stick.
, ji -
'i That senatorial endorsement serves
to identify Mr. Kern as the last demo
cratic vice presidential nominee, any
way.
I Thaj collapse in the South Pole
scheme should not be taken as any
reflection on the stability of the pole
itself.
It was a cowardly trick to sick a
vtiole 'herd of ' elephants onto Uncle
Joe's town when he was away from
homo.
Before blaming him, remember that
the fellow with an axe to grind always
has to have somebody else to turn the
stone.
Andrew Carnegie can erect his pal
aces of peace, but he cannot stop the
fighting between South American re
publics. Why not add a sporting department
to the Congressional Record and put
Mr, Suiter in charge? It might cheer
him up.
, .- r
Dick Croker saya he is going to
come back to America and take his
place with Tammany. Is there still a
Tammany?
It' will be interesting to hear from
the colonel's own lips the pitiful tale
of how those Europeans tried to keep
up with him.
Just as the tendency of prices starts
down the railroads file a new list ot
higher rates, which helps solve the
problem, of course.
..- If the Queen of May will begip her
rule by reforming the weather man
sho'w411 go down tn history as one of
tho good sovereigns.
i . .
A Hot Sprlnga paper has swatted
Dixie k hard one by referring to Gov
rrnor Vardaman as "the spokesman
(or the. entire south."
Christian Endeavor.
The laymen's missionary movement,
which ha come to be generally recoR
nlzeii as the moRt potent, practical
agency of religious propaganda In
late years, is taking steps to en
trench ltsHf against the likeli
hood of a reaction In sentiment
when the tidal wave of early enthusi
asm passes off. It will hold a national
congress In Chicago May 3-6 for the
purpose of laying definite plans for
permanent, work with a systematic or
ganization. This will tend to meet a
irltlclsm offered from within as well
as without the movement and to
Btrengthen Its already firm standing
In public estimation.
In an enterprise as far reaching and
influential as this it is natural for men
to Inquire as to its origin, who first,
suggested the idea? A young man in
the city of Washington, a member of
the Christian Kndeavor, is the real au
thor of the Laymen's Missionary move
ment, according to the word of Rev.
Francis E. Clark, founder and presi
dent of the Christian Endeavor. And
Dr. Clark Is not alone in ascribing to
the Christian Endeavor the origin of
many other of the aggressive forces of
Protestant evangelization today.
When Dr. Clark founded the Chris
tian Endeavor at ' Portland, Me., in
1881 upon very humble lines, he did
not foresee its destiny, and yet It has
extended its membership to all lands
and to the Islands of the sea and is
just now engaged in a campaign of ad
ding other millions in the next two
years. It takes the child and holds
it through youth on into manhood
and womanhood, gives .it its early
training im-church work and thereby
supplies the adult forces with their
material.
Though more aggressive than ever,
the Christian Endeavor is not so much
in the public eye today as it was some
years ago, but stands back of the Lay
men's 'Missionary movement and other
Elmilar agencies as the author and in
spiration. Father Endeavor Clark, as he is
called, has given these twenty-nine
years of his life to the work, never re
ceiving a salary, paying his own ex
penses on five tours of the world, go
ing ten times to Europe and making
countless trips across the American
continent, it is this fiber of Christian
manhood that has made laymen's
movements possible " and that must
keep them going if the work begun by
the Christian Endeavor is to be carried
to ultimate success.
A Forward Movement.
The passage by the House of Lords
of the British Parliament of the Lloyd
George budget for 1909 amounts to an
admission on the part of the conserva
tives that the reform features of the
budget , are healthy. When the na
ture of the bill was made public a year
ago It raised a tremebdous storm of
opposition. Debate was high and
loud and the bill' was furiously de
nounced by the opposition as being
most revolutionary in its nature. The
government admitted that some of the
propositions in the bill were novel, not
In theory, but in practice. It was ad
mittedly a long step forward In the
form of taxation. Especially was this
true in those provisions which contem
plated the assessment for purposes of
taxation of the unearned increment of
land and for the levying on the enjoy
ment of luxuries. Another distinctly
novel feature was the provision which
tended to discourage race suicide by
allowing unusual exemptions to fath
ers of families. After the budget had
been read in the House of Commons
one facetious London stock broker put
out a sign, "Sell South Africans. Buy
baby carriages."
The lords absolutely balked at the
budget and Parliament was dissolved,
the matter going to the country. The
liberals were returned, not with abso
lute power, but with ability to control
by forming a working coalition with
the laborttes and the Irish nationalists.
This Is undoubtedly accepted by the
lords as amounting to an endorsement
of the Lloyd-George theory of taxa
tion, which Is directed to place the bur
den of tax on those best able to bear it.
The progress of this experiment will
be watched closely in the United
States, where many novel methods of
raising revenue for public expenses
are continually being tried. Its most
interesting phase is that of taxing the
unearned increment of land, which is,
at least, a step in the direction of sin
gle tax as explained by Henry George
and his school of economists.
Kill the Pests.
Intensified farming and soil conser
vation lose much of their value when
not coupled with an intelligent combat
of the pests that destroy crops. In
1909 the money value of our crops was
estimated at $8,000,000,000, and
scientific experts estimate that fully
10 per cent of this amount was lost by
damage done by insects and another
10 per cent from, fungus diseases,
making a total destruction of about
$1,600,000,000.
A bill is now pending before con
gress which seeks to prevent some of
this vast waste by prohibiting the man
ufacture and traffic in adulterated and
mlsbranded insecticides and fungicides.
The bill la based on the result of in
vestigations which show that fraudu
lent remedies have been In common
UBe for years in agriculture and horti
culture, doing tremendous mischief.
It would seem necessary that the
government exert every influence In
the direction that this measure points,
or else see much of its work of -jelen
tlfle farming and fertilizing soli neu
trallzed. It requires no argument to
show that a healthy plant la subject
1 to the ravages of these parasitical
pests Just as in an Imperfect plant,
and that labor spent In increasing the
productivity of the foil or stability of
vegetation is positively thrown away
so long as the same degree of care
and intelligence is not exercised to
ward killing the pests. Thousands of
dollars have been spent by the Depart
ment of Agriculture in working out
the control of these pests, but if it is
unable to recommend the proper rem
edies to the people after working out
the process the latter becomes useless
and the money haA been thrown away.
An investigation made in connec
tion with the consideration of this bill
showed that some of the lead arsenate
In common use by fruit growers con
tained nothing but white arsenic, a
compound that would either kill or
seriously injure trees. Paris green
was also condemned for spraying pur
poses, as it contains soluble arsenic
which will destroy foliage. On the
other hand, it was shown that much
of the formaldehyde used in the north
west to prevent grain rust, iustead of
containing a 40 per cent strength, con
tained only 10 per cent. In this case
the result was simply that the formal
dehyde did no good and kept, the
farmer from preventing rust to his
grain.
Song: Birds and Salaries.
Oscar Hammerstein has retired from
grand opera. The sport of princes
and millionaires will know him no
more. His reason for going out is
that to continue would mean bank
ruptcy. The deficit he ascribes to the
vagarious manifestations ot artistic
temperament by the high-priced song
birds he has had caged at the Manhat
tan opera house. Mr. Hammerstein
went into the business as a "bull," in
creasing his offers of payment for
service above those fabulous prices al
ready prevailing at the Metropolitan,
and i now he is reaping what he was
then sowing. The singers alone have
profited.
Nowhere else in the world have such
prices been paid for mere songs as
were given by the management of the
rival opera houses in New York, and
nowhere else did high-priced per
formers show such capricious and un
reliable tempers as were exhibited in
New York during the last season. Se
cure from want, these gifted individ
uals showed no inclination to recog
nize an obligation to the public willing
to spend its dollars on them. Per
formance after performance was called
off because some one or other of the
great stars of opera declined to appear.
One refused to sing because she did
not like the way another singer was
dressed; another refused to go on be
cause she did not like the way another
member of the company stood on the
stage. One of the male members of
the galaxy declined to sing because an
other male member of the same com
pany was sitting in a box looking at
him. This list of trivial and inconse
quential excuses could be greatly ex
tended were It necessary. It is suffi
cient to make most ot us satisfied with
our plebeian tastes arid willing to en
dorse Mr. Hammersteln's return to
vaudeville. It may be in days to come
that these autocratic singers will re
alize that the goose who laid the
golden egg has been slain, and by
themselves.
In passing it is pleasing to note that
Mr. Hammerstein . receives from the
Metropolitan company $2,000,000 for
his contracts, costumes, scenery and
other portable remnants oj the Man
hattan Opera company. This salvage
will enable him to get out with a profit
of about $1,000,000 for his four years'
work as an impresario, a fact that will
entitle Mr. Hammerstein to a share in
any sympathy that the public is likely
to bestow on the song birds.
Are Britons Falling: Back ?
Is Great Britain in a state of de
cadence? Some students of the times
believe it is. One English writer' who
has collected statistics on conditions
in bis country takes this view. He
believes that this great power whose
sun never sets on its dominion is
steadily losing ground socially, indus
trially and politically, while other na
tions are advancing. In bis view In
vention is one of the important in
dexes to the condition of any country
and on this point be says:
During the last twenty years, with the
exception of the Purnons steam turbine, no
Invention of prime Importance haa ema
nated from Great Britain. Practically all
the Inventions which have so profoundly
Influenced the social and Industrial Ufa of
late years have come to us from abroad.
This question may be studied with
more equanimity since it is opened up
by a loyal subject of the British crown
whose chief concern seems to be that
his people shall arouse trom their na
tional lethargy and, if possible, regain
their position among the world powers,
Pursuing the line of scientific in
vention, he points out that electricity
in its commercial uses has been de
veloped almost entirely by foreigners
and thtt nearly every innovation in in
dustry has been made by the American.
He cites other forma of industrial ad
vancement Introduced by several Eu
ropean nations, but none by England.
Applications for patents by Britishers
are steadily decreasing, while increas
ing by foreigners. What patents
Britons are taking out are of a trivial
character, he says, as compared with
those. of the foreigners.
But It is not necessary to consult
this authority to know that financially
Great Britain is not the power it for
merly was. Its national debt is ac
cumulating by alarming degrees, with
out a corresponding increase of re
sources. It no longer la able to hold
to its vaunted claim as the great lend
ing nation. Indeed, If that country
should be plunged Into war tomorrow
Its greatest problem would not be that
of armament or potency of defense,
but the ability to feed its forces on
land and sea. Its statistics disclose
frightful Increases in pauper popu
lation and acute difficulty in provid
ing employment for the masses. To j
pursue this dismal Inquiry further it ,
might lie stated that 1." persons died
of starvation In England and Wales in
the last year and still keep within of
ficial facts. Incidentally, the number
of marriages and births is Meadily
diminishing.
The solution does not seem to be
apparent even to Britain now. One
of the great handicaps in working out
the destiny of lis army of unemployed
Is Its lack of contiguous farming ter
ritory. Treatment of Criminals.
Two Chicago Judges, Olsen and
Gemmlll, out of the depth of long ex
perience on the bench, principally in
dealing with offenders against the
criminal code, have spoken words that
deserve deep and careful consideration.
These jurists have determined after
many years that man is naturally
prone to break the law, and that the
surest protection society has against
the criminal is the certain administra
tion of punishment. Whether men's
natural bent be for evil or for good, it
Is conclusively plain that an unfortu
nately large percentage of the race di
rect their efforts into wrong channels.
It inay,be worth while for the student
of sociology or psyschology to pursue
these misdirected individuals with the
student's quest for information, but
for the purposes of society In general
it is desired, first of all, that a check
be put on the wrong doing. The re
form of the individual is a secondary
consideration, for the reason that so
ciety owes little to the individual,
while the individual owes everything
to society. If it be possible to accom
plish the reform of the convict crim
inal the result justifies the effort. But
before this reform is undertaken so
ciety has a right to make sure that the
crime will not be repeated.
For these reasons the judges main
tain, and others who have given the
matter attention are convinced, that
certain punishment is the most potent
deterrent known. If the criminal is
assured in advance that detection will
be followed by the visitation of a pen
alty commensurate with the nature of
the offense he is likely to halt before
entering on his Illegal design. A
difficulty In the way of the law has
been the mistaken zeal of emotional
reformers,' who seek to interpose the
sheltering character of mercy before
the offender has had an opportunity to
"bring forth fruit meet for repent
ance." If these well-meaning persons
can be brought to appreciate the value
of properly applied punishment they
will see the desirability of assisting the
cause of Justice to the general body in
preference to the coddling of the crim
inal. If it can be impressed on the
offender's mind that the penalty ex
acted from him Is not, taken in the
spirit of vengeance, but for compensa
tion, and he be given an opportunity
to contemplate this truth while work
ing out his salvation, his ultimate re
form will be as certain, and probably
more lasting, than if he Is allowed to
go "unwhipped of justice" because a
.touching plea has been rendered In his
behalf, and some philanthropist has
promised to stand sponsor for his good
behavior.
"
Get the Burgoo, Colonel.
Colonel Watterson, oppressed by the
sins of a nation, , like Habakkuk of
old, lifts up his voice in despair and
exclaims, "Oh, Lord, how long shall 1
cry?"
It Is of record that the Lord let the
minor prophet cry quite awhile and
visited not His fearful vengeance upon
the Chaldeans until, in the utter ex
tremity of his hope, Habakkuk pro
claims, "I will stand upon my watch
and set me upon my tower." Then
the vision came.
Mr. Watterson is alarmed, not only
that his nation is going pell-mell to
the demnition bow-wows, but that in
the crisis of Its peril it is confronted
by even a greater menace than that
from which he would save it. It Is
"the man on horseback" again, "the
most startling figure that has loomed
up on the horizon of history
since Napoleon Bonaparte," Theo
dore Roosevelt, seeking "autocratic
power, self-perpetuating power, a
benevolent despot," who would seize
the reins of this government and drive
on in, his mad race to imperialism,
treading under foot the rights of his
helpless fellow beings! Worse than
Napoleon from Elba, he is Caesar,
flushed with the glow of conquest,
fresh from his invasion of the Gauls!
He comes, this mighty conqueror,
from lion-hunting in Africa, king-taming
in Europe, to culminate his tri
umphal march through the nations of
the world in a demonstration surpass
ing that for Dewey, down the bay and
along the river front and through the
streets of a thousand cities of the land!
And for what? Why, to pave the way
to his perpetual power as president.
Gentlemen, in the language of Ed
mund Burke, "Long enough have we
been cajoled, derided and' deceived
it rs time for us to act!"
Listen further to Colonel Watter
son's proof:
Doe audi a tour do force coma by
chance, or la It planned and prearranged
far ahead by keen forealRht and skillful
atafc-ficraft? Why Africa In the first
place? Then, If Cairo needs must be, why
llon.e? Why VUnna and Hudapeal? Why
Berlin? Why Paris? Why London?
Nothing could be more convincing.
It would be tolly to suggest that this
man Roosevelt, after seven strenuous
years In office, had sought the quiet,
sedate jungles of Africa, filled with
ferocious beasts, as a place to rest his
tired body and mind. It would- be
equally foolish to attempt an aner
to any of the other categorical qvies
tlons, except to remark that here was
a full blooded American citizen in the
hey-day of his happy manhood, with a
lot of time on his hniuls and a good
chance to have a bully time and 'he
took the chance.
That is all there Is to it, colonel.
Cheer up and remember that "burgoo
with a thimbleful of the best ever to
wash it down," and ou need not stop
at the thimbleful.
If, 83 that Harvard professor says,
mosquitoes caused the collapse of an
cient Rome and Greece, we should lose
no time in declaring war on these
pests, which might, at any moment,
plunge this nation into the same abyss
of destruction. What would we do
without some of our vigilant and alert
college professors to cry out these pit
falls for us?
The democrats who are thundering
about the difference in republican
opinion as to details of the present
tariff law, probably forget the Wilson
Gorman tariff that split their party
in 1894, the bill which, when It came
back to President Cleveland for his
signature, drew from him the con
demnation of "party perfidy," and a
veto.
"Gumshoe Bill" Stone, "the gentle
man from Missouri" on the democratic
side of the senate, made a speech the
other day against the resolution favor
ing an investigation into the cost of
living. Light in any form hurts his
eyes.
Woodrow Wilson says the country
must look to the west for its new
leaders and the New York World- as
serts that no man's opinions are more
uniformly sound than those of Prince
ton's president.
If Brothers Gaynor and Hearst keep
up this cross-fire of telling tales out
of school, the country may get a pretty
good line on at least two of the coming
candidates for presidential honors.
The St. Louis judge who decided
that "title to a seat in a street car
rests in the man who gets it first,"
must have been trying to vindicate the
end-seat hog.
A New York paper Is beginning al
ready to commiserate the west on its
crop failure. Oh, do not worry, ike
will have enough left to feed you folks
on as usual.
There are a few plums left In the ftov
eriior'a banket, but most of them are' not
worth having. Baltimore American.
Those are usually the kind that get
left.
Some of those tears shed over Gov
ernor Hughes' going on the supreme
bench and forsaking the reform forces
in New York look a little crocbdilish.
'Back to the farm,", shouts Mr. Hill
and Mr. Watterson commands, "Back
to the constitution." Keeps a fellow
constantly on the trot.
.
Moral R t hnrtn t Ion n Franro.
New York World.
Fiance can now .appieciHte the kind of
moral exhortation that the t'nlted States
has been e xperleneluK for the last, fifteen
years. If It dot not feel uplifted It . re
mains a country without Ideals.
l.t It (io at That.
Denver Republican.
After all. perhaps It Is better for foreign
noblemen to b' permitted to unload spuri
ous old masters on the millionaires than
the spurlora new masters with which sev
eial of their daughters have been encum
bered. Mnaina; from Mutton to Pork.
Louisville Courier-Journal.
If Mary had a little 'lamb that followed
her peregrination, shu could drop In at the
butcher's shop and become as rich aa all
creation. Btit If Willie's sedentary pig,
that eats to satiation, WfTe transferred
Into currency, what a Roekefellerization!
Aa the t'nrda I.le.
Philadelphia Bulletin.
At the cards lie In congress Just now. It
would appear that the members are torn
by the conflicting desires of putting
through Taft's program and of getting
away to patch tip their political fences at
home. When such an occasion arises It is
generally noticeable that the fences get
tha most attention.
Pledsea and .Performance.
Indianapolis 'News.
Men violate pledges as much by failing
to carry them out as by legislating posi
tively against them. And the question
before the -republican party Is ona of car
rying out the pledges made by the party
to the people. No political organization
is free to disregard Its pledges. We are
Inclined to believe, therefore, that Mr.
Taft will be able to get some good things
done, and that congress will, see the folly
of turning its back on the' refonu' pro
gram. Even tha senate Is likely to feci
the force of public opinion, and to yield
to soma extent to It. .
Our Birthday Book
May 1, 1810.
James McCrea, prcaldont of tha Penn
sylvania railroad, was born May 1, lk In
Philadelphia. He entered the railroad ser
vice as rod man In 1S66, and has stayed
with it until reaching- hi present high po
sition at the head of Jthe Pennsylvania
system three years ago. : . .
James Ford Rhodes, the ' historian, Is
62. He waa br.rn in Cleveland, O., and his
chief work Is a history ot the t'nlted
States sine ISM), filling eight larga vol
umes. , . . ' '
Simon N. Patten, professor of political
economy la the University of Pennayl
vanla, was born May 1, 1S5! at Bandwloh.
III. Dr. Patten waa raised on a farm,
and after atudying in Germany became one
of tha prtuclpal American authorities In
economic theory.
John A. T. Hull, congressman from the
Dea Molnoea. la., district, was born May
1, mi, In Sablna, O. lie servd with dis
tinction In tha union army, , and has been
a prominent figure, In laws politics. ' for
many years. ....
SECULAR 5H0TS AT THE PULPIT.
Huston Herald: The Spokane minister who
has ahanriimed the pulpit h"cmiso he li
"living In n realm of fanciful theories and
l;npt'Hctli'nl Ideas." end declared litmwclf .t
candidate for congress, tuny even f.nd hit
fonnci mode of. life possible i:i the lions
Some others do and never gel ovet it.
Hnltlinore American; In a Duxlest Utile
Preshytrrlnn church neav Lincoln. Neli
the .Honorable William Jennings Tlryan whs
ordained as elder last Sunday. This is In
the line of lay oiders in that denomination,
but It come next to the order of tho min
ister, who in effect is a preaching elder.
Why should not the silver-tongued one go
a step farther? Why hot take full crdets
and go forth with the everlasting evangel
upon his lips? Mr. Bryan Is known to hove
a leaning for the pulpit and he lias ad
mirable addressee of a religious nature that
he has delivered tti country over. It would
he something unique and Interesting in
Amerfcnn politics for one who tins repeat
edly run for the presidency to enter the
pulpit.
Springfield Republican: In the annual re
port of the corporation 'of Trinity church.
New 'York, showing that the value of Its
property has Increased by nearly ' $f00. 000
during the .war. the rector, Dr. Manning,
observes thut "Trinity parish is essentially
u missionary organization." It might be
added-that it tiast also of late come in for
not a little missionary w.irk by outsiders.
It Is not n very Impressive showing that
tho yearbook mukes-afseta IM.Mu.lKio. total
number uf communicants S,5;'T. increase
(luring the year TiK). ..The f"tir mission
churches supported have 3,Wi communi
cants, but the music 1s " very ' elaborate.
When the results an? compared with those
oi sonic genuine people's churches In the
same, district doubts are Inspired as to
the advantages of enormous church en
dowments. A rich church, like rich man,
can best forward religion by oea.-lng to be
rich. .vi
- FAME'S WATERL00L00.
Chicago News: In Waterloo, Neb., it Is
a finable offense for a barber to put his
finger in a customer's mouth. Hut the
fine Is only $5, so it may have tj he Joined
with Justifiable mayhem.
Baltimore American: A town in Nebraska
with the appropriate name' of Waterloo has
passed an ordinance piVihlbltlng barbers
from eating onions in business hour. If
they lo so, they wilt no longer be in sood
odor before the law.
' New York Tribune: A rather strict ordi
nance relative to barbeis has been adopted
In Waterloo, la. Aw It neglects to punish
with death the practice of deluging a
customer with 'bay rum without his con
sent, it Is a dismal failure.
Pittsburg Dispatch: A Nebraska town
has passed an ordinance making It unlaw
ful Mr barbers to eat onions during work
ing hours. In order to be fair the council
should pass an ordinance making It un
lawful for barbers' 'patrons to eat onions
duilng sharing hours.
Chicngo Tribune: In': Waterloo, Neb., it
has been made ah offense punishable, by a
fine of $5 for a barber to eat onions be
tween 7 a. m. and 9 p. m. Waterloo barbeis
who consider such a city ordinance opp-r-s-sive
are at liberty1 to move over' into Klk
horn or Florence, where -they can eat any
thing they choose. To aome extent this is
still a free country.
Des'Mblnes Register and Leader: Manifestly,-the
talkative barber was the Indi
vidual whom the counellmen of Waterloo
sought to reach; but they overreached.
The- impossibility of' defining "gossip"
mtgtit not be an -insuperable obstacle for a
Judge 6f-nimble hilnoVi but ti cut a barber
off ' from the inalianable - right of free
speech, any novice will- ear, is an 'attack
on the constltutiqn . which not. alone in
validates the measure, but smacks of -both
anarchy and monarchy. , , .. ,, .
' PERSONAL AND OTHERWISE!
If Mr. Halley'a show will come closer to
the legal closing hour of b p. in., a much
larger audience will brlhg joy to the b&x
office.
Fritz Augustus llelnze Is on trial in New
York. And Butte 2.000 miles away. Fickle
fate oft plays shabby tricks on copper
sports.
. The draught has. been, broken in Arkan
sas by a decision of the supreme court
that It is lawful to sell native wine in
packages of flvo gallons or less.
An ; English man is going to start a gi
gantic pill factory . In New York.- And
Dick Croker Is coming home. Isn't one
pill enough, , for a defenseless community?
-Colonel- George'' Harvey of Harper's
Weekly delicately insinuates that colonels
don't amount to much anyhow, particularly
the esteemed ITolonel Roosevelt and Colonel
Bryan? -
RIVal astronomers are diligently docking
the 16,000,000-nille tall of I alley's comet
and handing the anxious reader tales of
their own vintage. Ample rriom on both
to tie the can.
Right on the Keels of the report of an
earthquake at Atlantic City comes a .blue
penciled contradiction, coupled with ex
pert assi rahce that the tremor was caused
by a landlord Jumping on a delinquent
boa rder.
(ieorge Harrie of Philadelphia is the lat
est hero within reach of a Carnegie medal.
His business house bears the street number
1313 and his automobile carries the same
woefui figures. But ha dotes on the hoodoo
thirteen, and waxed fat In person and in
purse despite his bold defl of superstition.
The author of the railroad crossing sign,
"Stop! Look! Listen!" who charged 2,o00
for the mental Job, Is as one tied to a
post in a race with the Chicago man who
won a Judgment fee of 3i,000 for one word.
"Is It legal fo: me to marry him on his
led?"
the
swei'ecj the lawyer, who after the funeral,
gent In a bill for , 1300,000. A Jury said
$3.',000 was enough and soma over.
f
WE til U.ST SELL THEM
USED
TO MAKE ROOM
LOW PRICES WILL CLOSE THEM OUT
Bush & Lane Pianos,
Cable-Nelson Pianos,
Kn'abe Pianos, Vose & Sons
' and twenty other good, upright, nearly new Pianos.
Prices $45, $90, $110, $125, $155 and Up.
- Terms: $10 takes one home $1.00 per week pays for it.
Don't forget the new Hand Made H0SPE PIANO; $223
for the $325 pinho any wood; your own terms, stool and
scarf free. ' , .. . ,
..A'HdSPE' CO,
, 1513-15 Douglas Street
SERMONS BOILED -DOWN.'
No man can ho faithful to divine , fls
who dodges daily duties.
A man fonn gets tired of his re'igl n w he u
he does tin; woik at It
Some hop? to cure the tlser pf-Mllng lv
f.lling his teeth with gold.
It's a good deal easier to seem fit to d,
than to be fit to live with.
The less a man thinks about lite eiii-cnly
the inoie lie is likely to have.
The endeavor always counts mulC lor
one's happiness than the success.
It's no use looking In lonely places for
men who are really walking with Hod.
The most haimlcs hiiium ment Is poison
ous when It Is the only food your h art
gets.
To he guided by the Senses alone Is as
though one should let the compass steer t tie
ship.
The muii who lives by the golden rule
never hus to talk to his rriends aboiit his
piety.
line of the woim thing- about exposing
tho wolves Is il, at the sheep will turn and
try to rend , ou.
DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES,
"Why don't yon ak tloit young mas -lp
It, tan tfoNIA pvpnillu il. 1. 1 ' . k '
"1 don't believe it wouid do anv
1.1,
5.
mother. He's a continued luicmloi.
Detroit Fife Press.
Stella Are they wealthy?
Holla '1 hey Kave buby an auto tire to nit
Its teeth. Harper's 1'azar.
He What kind of stone would o,i l,Iv
in i he ring, darling ?
She Oh, Jack, Hear. I've lieaid so mm h
about base hall dlamonos. Do you suppose
tiiev air vciy expensive? Uosioll liau
soript. "What olij.-cthm wou.d you have, to un
wiies voting ; .
".None whatever," replied Mr. tlroui 11
"If uhn ii-oiil.lM't La..i, tin. uu-ul-A n.i.i
. . ..u,v... . n v ' H ...... ...... . -1
ll'Vlntr tn evnlain to i-r vvlmt mI ! Inline
about." aaJilngton Istar.-
Wigwag It Is a pet theoiy of mine
that two can live us cheaply as one.
Youngpop -Huh! It's piain lo he men
you weie never the father of twins. I'hllu
delphla Record.
Vicar (severely! 1 was surprised and
sorry. Mrs. Smith, to observe that your
husband walked out of church In the mid
dle of my sermon last Sunday.
Mis. Smith O, you really must e.wue
' 1 1 ii . sir; 'es a somnambulist, and walks m
is sleep. ou see. M. A. 1
Squire Duriiltt (ol Lmiely vllle) Our town a
b'ot the four biggrht liars In the state.
t'nele Welby tlosh lof Drearyhiu at ) I
guess that's right. You're three of 'em.
Who's the fourth? Chicago Tribune.
I "And you say you love me? '
"Devotedly!"
"With the cost of living as high as it 1st"
"Indeed I do. Hiid when the cost of living
Is less 1 will prove my love by making you
my wife." Houston Host.
'Tardon me, madam, but the way that
man across tho aisle Is staring at you must
he very offensive! Do you wish me lo In
terfere?" "Oh. no. thank you. That's my husband."
"Your husband!"
"Yes. He's very nearsighted and thinks
I'm somebody else." Cleveland 1'laln
Dealer.
CLOVER CHAINS.
,1. M. Lewis ill Houston Post.
I know by sudden gusts of rain
Thai laggard spring Is here:
I know, too, by the clover chain
Which from my neck hangs clear
Below my knees, and 'round each wiist
Are wound the clover strands.
And but .lust now 1 caught and kissed
Two clover-luden hands.
That I am old and smut and gray
Doth matter not at all.
The babies seem to love to play
About me In the lialli
They deck me. with red blooms ami white
With loving care and pains.
And because It Is Spring, tonight '..f.; '
I'm wearing clover. chains. .. t ,
A little later on tYiayhap. '
When other blooms unclnsK - -A
babs will clantber on mydap., .
To. pin a red, red roaa .. . . .
'On (a my coat lapel with glad,
Wee, dimpled baby hands: '''' ' '
But Just tonight she'S decked her Had "
With twisted clover strands. ,
And now they both of them' draw near
And stand beside my chair . - ,
Blue eyes and hazel eyes shins clcai r-.
Two head of tousled hair
Against my coat sleeves snuggle warm
Then, from the eager two.'
Comes the expected coaxing storm. - . .
"Dad. let's play peek-a-boo!"
And I. who lost all dignity '
When the first baby came.
Ain wlih them with as much of Rlee
As they feel In the game:
And while the raindrops sllthed down
The darkened window panea
To show us spring has come to town
We romp In clover chains.
PURE MINERAL
SPRING WATER
Our firm has for 20 years been head
quarters for all kinds of Mineral Waters.
We are carload buyers- and distributers
of aeveral kinds and handle over 100 klnda
altogether. We enumerate a few:
Crystal Lithla (ExceUlor Springs) 6 gal
lon Jug. at , 9S. OO
Salt Sulphur, (Kxcelsior Springs) 6 gal
lon Jug, at la. 25
Diamond Llthia Water, V, gallon bottle.
now at , 40o
dozen . .' '. ;.f4.00
Sulplio Saline Water, qt. bottle .."77.-360
1 dozen, at $8f6
Regent Water. Iron, qt. bottle ......
) dozen, at ". ...fVaa
Carlsbad Sprudcl Wasser, bottle .'. . SOo
1 dozen, at fS.OO
French Vichy Water, qt. buttle 40a
1 dosen, at .: $4.80
Appolllnarls Water, qts., pts. and Splits,
at lowest prices.
Allouex Magntaia Water, qt. bottle . 5a
1 dozen, at $8.50
Buffalo Llthia Water, Vi gal. bottle . toa
1 dozen case $5.78
Colfax Water. V4 gal. bottle v9B
1 dozen cae j', '
Return allowance for bottles and Jugs.
Iellverv free In Omaha, C6unc1l Bluffs
and South Omaha.
Sherman & McConnell Drug Co.
Corner 16th aud Dodge tits.
Cwl Drug; Co.
Corner 16th and Harney Its.
PIANOS
t -t
Kranich & Bach Pianos,
H. P. Nelson Pianos,
Pianos, Imperial Pianos'
