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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (April 15, 1910)
miE BF.E: OMAHA, FT? T DAT, AFIUL 1.", 10m.
The Bee's Home Magazine Page of Special Features
TllO T.rv1 Hftcinocc
auv Aitwu 1Uwlilvww
By. Walter. A. Sinclair.
"80 Cincinnati' aldermen decided not to
et the clock ahead an hour till summer?"
commented Friend Wife.
' "Yea. the alarm clocks struck, but they
wouldn't strike an hour too early." said
-the tlrd. business man. 'The great day
' Ugh servlNg plan- waa a total Iom. They
couldn't convince the ultimate consumers
of daylight that a sunbeam saved waa a
lu beam . earned. The Ohio city was
worked up to quite a ferment about It, but
not yeasty enough to rise early.
."That was one of the shlnest schemes
ver attempted In this country. Of course.
1 mean sun-ahlnest. There was a- chance
to inaw an awful hole In the profits of
the lighting companies by getting the en
f tire population up first an hour earlier and
UUr on two hours earlier. The schemers
played on the hope that human nature only
. objected to getting up early becauiie all
otheis were snoozing, and that every one
who got up at ,7 would be willing to hop
out ' at 6 If the neighbors were around.
But It seems that the population of Cincin
nati would rather be up on a lark at night
' than up with tho lark.
"I supposed this Chantecler erase would
give a terrlflo boom to the sunrise awak
ening Idea, Bat apparently a bird on the
, ' hat Is not equal to two crowing In the
'y-back yard at daybreak. I guess the only
people wfp were strong for this new plan
were the night watchmen, who thought
they'd have a shorter trick. The people
, who stay up all night having a good time
and retire about the time ordinary people
go to , work wore against It, because It
would mean that they would have to go to
sleep, two hours earlier.
. I'You .didn't hear any loud roars for a
longer. -day from the people of the tene
ments, who sleep on the roofs in summer.
The. day comes to them all too seon, they
think, and they often wish that jocund
Aurora, tripping over the eastern horlson
on pinky toes, would occasionally trip the
same pinky torn a little harder on the
horlson and fall over on her rosey nose (or
. s. change. , . ' . . 1
"Nobody Is keen to have, a day begin,
although we are usually glad to see night
arrive. . Great men long for night. Look at
Wellington, snapping his watch and ex-
Correct Skirt Lengths
, The correct lengths of skirts Is a prob
lem tha frequently puzzles the home dress
, Of course, with . tha street suit there - Is
,. practically no change, for the skirt will
i . always, ba walking length as long as there
1,' ttt sensible women.. Skirts of spring suits,
however., are usually an Inch or two longer
-than those fat fall war, because tha ma
. . ' ierlal la usually of a lighter tone and the
.trimming a Mttle. moro "dressy" than the
tYff.i- uwarnl fall nftxjA ..rlnln ,,lf wrA
. course, ..weather conditions . being mora fa
vorable, the skirt con be worn longer with
out jretjlng bedraggled In bad weather. .
- Tva Inches nhnvn the wreuioA jt Tl fiiviiinn
... is, tle oortet length for the skirt of a 1910
.spring tailored suit to be worn by a tall or
a medium, sized woman.
' .- When tha wearer la short or stout, the
'j...ift ciii,tt)iiui .hid iiuvr u tftii mull UU1.V
.. I will be far more becoming, especially If the
fabric Is light In color.
. III Antrim, latttrth. Thin np-unni, lkM tnr
oiling too quickly around the bottom, and
, . the shorter skirt In wash goods Is always
-. trim.-looking. -
. Separate skirts for 'outer wear are also
amkla length. Tweeds, serges, linena and
cotton (heavy) goods are the materials
.usually 'developed Into what are termed
y OutWig- skirts, although' there are other
, : , Suitable fabrics, such as brllliantine, pop-
tin, panama, etc.
'" ' ' So much for the skirts for morning; wear.
Those used on afternoon gowns display
mall trains. This la no doubt due to the
fact that . All Important . robca are mad
with some kind of drapery attachment,
'. ' " either, Id form, of tunics, overaklrt or pan
nier eirecia, wnicnr necessitates ions un
derskirts. If graceful results are to ba ob
The back of the skirt may be only four
tncbes'upon tha floor, or may ba fourteen.
Tha length depends chiefly upon the design
. . W tho Costume. .
.' .When a simple apron drapery or a short
tunic forma tha overdress then the shorter
length will ba sufficient, while the more
The human body and industrial corpora
tion stock from both contain 63 per cent
water. k '
. Of the I.4E9 who died of heart failure In
' ' this country last year two held royal
'flushes In a raised pot; twenty-six received
money unexpectedly when they most needed
' It; MJS played the stock market with all
' their worldly gooes ani won, and 131 asked
for ah' increase of pay and got it.
Research proves that the smallest men
push the heaviest loads, while the big fel
' svs hold down the office chairs.
A'cublo.foot of water Is a load for one
niai. . A. cublo foot of near-whisky will
make a load fpr forty men.
Pure tlll-ale should assay not more than
ten crots words, to the barrel.
One of the most peculiar optical Illusions
Is the fact that a small front yard looks
. larger than the state of Indiana when
viewed from tha rear of a dull lawn mower.
. , Out of the ,J3t.Sl& halituta administered
.. In this country last year thirty-seven were
.cut, Jut as the patrona desired they should,
. Wild, eee fly in the shape of a V even
on tha restaurant menu.
The first green thing to ahow after the
melting mow is tha labels oa the empty
tin cans In the back yards.
. It U a peculiar fact that the Chinese of
this country forge their . English as soon
as thy aje arrested and do not recover It
until they are free again.
IUlley' comet fust appeared In the news
papers last October and will be visible In
the magazines about the first of next May
. north-byret of the rear advertising page.
. The driest, thing- on earth la a Dutch plo
- bJo oa a July day In a temperanoe town-
The diamond Is so hsrd It will make a
' large' dent In the hardest heart.
The beard grows at the rate of four
shaves a week.
' It 1 a peoullar fact that the dollar bill Is
lcager cocnlnji thaa going Ntw Twx
T.Tnn Tells Friend Wife That
l'XUU - the Alarm Clocki Struck.
claiming for 'Night or Blucher.' Tha days
are always breaking, no matter how well
they're planned, but nights well, nights
are bold, according, to the otd ballad. I'm
strong for 'Lovely Night,' whether by
opera orchestra, phonograph or piano.
"Night la the time when song and hap
piness reign. Sometime, when song reigns
in the flat above, with about six Joyous
singers stamping on tha floor, tha plaster
also rains from the celling. Night la bent
for tha voice, and we can prove It by the
opera tenor who gets 13.500 a night for sing
lng, and by the baritone cat who gets a
clout over the head with a bootjack. Just
think of all the glassware on night's
"It Isn't day that ought to be lengthened,
but the shades of night.' The pheasant
asked Chantecler to keep tha sun from
rlblng so early, but Old Sol, like all other
elderly gentle-men, Is an early riser. And
tha world la young. So who wants to
hasten the morning grouch an hour of two
"The early bird, you know," reminded
"Foolish bird compared with the wise old
night owl," said the Tired Business Man.
(Copyright, 1910, N. Y. Herald Co.)
Street Suits Should Be in
. Bound Lenethi and Two
Inches from Floor.
an offset to fullness. A short 1 skirt and
much looped draperies would be decidedly
bunchy In effect and consequently lack
In the case of a simple double skirt that
Is, two skirts of equal depth made from
flouncing or material of one kind, each
skirt finished In exactly the same way and
arranged .on over tha . other tha lengths
may be the same all the way around If
This may be round length If for -house
or formal wear, and may lust escape tha
ground If the skirt Is to be - worn out of
doors. .. ...
.'Wbertthe drapery -Is , cut squ&r't across
tho front at about knee' length and runs
dewn to a point In center back, then a
slight train is Imperative if the gown Is to
ba a success. '...
The skirt model that -exhibits a deep hem
of a contrasting color will be trying to any
but a toll woman' unless It Is cut with a
light train, and as both tha walking length
and tho longer one are considered fashion
able In this particular style there Is no
reason why one should choose an unbe
The skirts of house gowns for morning
wear just touch the floor all around, while
those for afternoons show a little train in
A favored model In- the latter style is
made with a double box-pleat down both
back and front In panel effect, the former
spreading Itself on tha floor for several
Inches. The sides of tha skirt are smooth
fltthig over the hips to about knee length,
where they are met by a deep flounce.
This style should prove beconjlnr to stout
matrons, while more slender women will
find the pointed draperies falling over
slightly trained plain skirts equally ef
fective. Evening and dinner gowns are all made
with trains, but dancing frocks for girls
and young matrons are seen In round
lengths in a variety of models. Thl style
of frock Is always popular during the sum
mer season for evening Wear, because it
oan be worn for informal dances and din
ners and with, a gulmpe for festive, after
noons. ELIZABETH LEE
Fads for. Woman.
While wings that are Only slightly soiled
can be used again, and with extremely
good effect, if covered with fine black Jet,
powdered- with ' tiny jet. beads, gold and
silver, bead are sometlmrjL used, but these
seem more appropriate for evening than
for day, and wings are not used on evening
Flowers, too, may be veiled With tulle
this season, which simplifies matters for
the home milliner. In fact, most of tho new
millinery styles mar be -copied. For in
stance, the small mushroom hat, entirely
covered with tiny pink roses aown neatly
and trimmed with a simple net biw, wired,
will be easy to make.
The new parasol handles are mounted
with the heads of roosters and other
feathered creatures, carved In wood. Ivory
or dull metal.
The handles are long,' several inches, In
tact longer than those ued last season.
Coverings are of taffeta and linen. Ex
tremely good effects are seen In the com
btnatlon of black and white check, with a
color. Green, for Instance, is good, and to
be. up-to-date the facing of the coat collar
should match the border of the parasol..
Daily Health Hints.
For sprains very hot water applied to thj
Joint will bring relr, unless It ba a bal
cane, when the hot water should be suc
ceeded by cold evaporating lotions. For
very (tight cases of this kind the best
thing Is to apply a wt bandage, laying It
on the Joint lightly and keeping It con
stantly wet. Whan, the pain and swelling
have subsided from th a treatment t'le Joint
should be rubbed very giiuly with a 11 ii
ment to produce friction.
wffHrTIs Hi Wis In . I sllslMHIf nlil I d
Maklag the Best of It.
I iin pra"3e a sudden thaw
Wot feet may put in health a flaw,
Nor do I I kt a sudden lr-ese
On Ice I never wslk with t&ae.
"Twist tbaw and Ice I aruuibllng swing
And wall the cumUig of Uia airln-.
....... X. E. U.
NVjn DOLBY TRMMIHG
r' feo HE CftH CTCHMtl
ur-l II I
MIS SPEED J
HOW .TROT LOHG'
Vfti i DROMISFID
I o I
poo fn nirt
ME A GOOD P05.TIOH
rOR THI3-CO OM,
a. . a. sV . r
w - tuu r t
iCOPlnluHT. ISia BY THE WfcW
The Tale of the
After he had been' gazing silently at her
for a long time he drew a deep breath and
"The astronomers think the tall of Hal-
ley's comet is going to brush, the earth."
"Tea." she replied. "I wonder If Its likely
to do any damage?" , -"They
don't seem to be quite sure whether
It will or not..' Most of them think we won't
notice rc' . 5 v- '
'I don't see how It could cause trouble.
seeing; that It Is nothing but a transparent
streak of corns kind that has n substance."
"Still," he went on, after moving his
chair a little closer to hers, "nobody can
be absolutely sure about It. The thing
may be composed of a deadly gas, or, even
though It Is transparent. It may be sub
stantial enough to wreck the earth. Glass
and water are transparent, but they have
substance enough to do great damage
"Oh, Harry I mean Mr. Marshall why
do you wish td frighten me so?" ,-
She moved her chair close to his and di
. THE Bt'MBLG BKB.
A. 8T1NGER Editor
NO ADS AT ANY PRICE
Bee as a
' Communications welcomed,
and neither signature nor re
turn postage required. Ad
dress the Editor.
NO BAD MONEY TAKEN.
Oat of Hibernation.
The Bumble Bee humbly an
nounces that It la again out of
hibernation, having had a
restful retirement during the
long winter months, snd re
urns to make an occasional
reappearance, but not promis
ing to be a dally visitor for
The Bumble Bee extends
greetings to Its eld friends and
neighbors and hopes to renew
acquaintance with them all
gain with The Big Stick,
with The Weskly Bunion, with
the Gotham Gazette, with the
BIngvllle Bugle, and we may
even condescend to recognize
Al Sorcnson's Examiner if It
doesn't act too stuck up.
, We shall be burning around
htre off and fh and may,
perhaps, collide with our
' cousin, the political bee, who.
we hear. Is getting busy In a
lot of people's bonnets. Wo
thank our srsr that we are not
so amUtlous, but are content
to gather honey and let others
chew the wtt.
So, friends and neighbors.
we salute you and Invite your
Come Oa, Ye Poets.
uenue Minmrtime is once
more In our midst, brlnsring
with her the season when
youthful fancy turns to poetry
We do not w.int to Interfere
with tho lovo, but If the mime
wlth'n you Is chafing to break
out In verse that you think
looks gooc. to you. why Just
st-rd the poetry th's way and
tho worst that can happen to
It is -to fall Inte the wsste
Anyone can commit, poetrr
If you feel so Inclined, and
sometimes you d) your but
when you feel your worst You
may bo an In-glorious Shakes'
(are with your light bidden
fan on -
k , - 'l rzi. Mr, ill
1 II in. sm I II i - ' f i "
,a i.rj r i xr. "t i i t : t
X. i t y II I . I.. I .ill TTV A 1
1 TT -
I r v
SLOW DOWN A
ME FROM f
YOHlC 1IIHiH4 TStJSQRAM (NEW YORK rRALD81"
rected at him an 'appealing look that ought
to have made him hasten to offer his pro
tection. "I don't wish to frighten you," he re
plied. ; "But I wish I knew Just what Is
going to happen." v ,...
She laid a hand gently upon one of his
knees and drew, ft. soulful sigh.
"I shouldn't yilnk," she said, "you would
wish to know 1t(K there was to be a great
catastrophe.' THlk of the agony we should
have to endure'hllea waiting our doom
If we knew the oomot was going to destroy
With a little shiver she nestled against
him, as If she had possessed childlike con
fidence In his power to protect her from
"Still," he Insisted, "If there's going to be
a smash-up. Id like to know It In advance."
"Oh! I wish you hadn't brought up the
subject. I'm terribly frightened, iim afraid
I shall not be able to sleep at all to
night." One of her small, soft hands crept shyly
-1 vou I
J 7 V
ly &Ej mble Bee
OMAHA. APRIL. 16, .1910.
bushel for all you
Crisp . Items . of Interest
Bed Hot Off the
. Bee line. ,
you don't try It on
With so many sug
loose, and The Bumble
shining mark. It's up
to the poets to start something.
That Mayor "Jim" would be
willing to occupy a seat In
the capltol even if it is not
removed from Lincoln and
Lincoln stays dry.
That Stockton Heth has not
been back to Kansas City
That Frank Johnson still has
a few sharts of mining stock
he might be Induced to part
with at what he paid. "
That John L. Webster is
dreadfully afraid he may get
a final decision In the water
works case this time.
. That W. W. Cole would sell
tickets on himself tor a raf
fle If the right people would
buy chances. .
That doodley Brucker is In
Sanger of having fame thrust
More Speeches la g-Igvavt.
NEW YORK, April 14.
(Special to The Bumble Bee.)
A wireless advises the ap
proach ot steamship carrying
W. J. Bryan and cargo of new
Chautauqua speeches. Cus
toms officers are in quandary
as to wwhether to eolleot
duty, ad valorem or by- the
Getting; In Practice.
" BERLIN, April U- Special
Cable to The Bumble Bee.)
Emperor William has been as
tonishing ths natives by un
usual activity of !ate He
has been chopping trees,
shoptlng at revolver target.
upon htm when the city coun
cil elects Its new president.
That Little Bismarck posi
tively refuses to relinquish his
place as "der ahudge" to go
after a seat on the luprema
That Harrle ' Lawrle . Is
chuckling over the fine sula
he mado of hia auto to the
fire insurance company.
That Rev. Savldge is con
fidently counting on the usual
brisk spring trade at his bag
gain counter matrimonial
That H. J. Per.fold Is rot
holding his head up to high
while crossing the ooefin.
That Would-Be Senator Sor
enson will pass rhe hat soon
to get together the coin for
his filing- fee.
That Dr. Hippie will In due
time cut his eye teeth on that
chloride of lime typhoid ex
playing tennis and riding hur
dles every day. He says he
expeots a guest soon for whose
entertainment he Is prepar
ing. Only a False Alarm.
WASHIINQTON. April 11.
(Special to The Bumble Bee.)
A well defined rumor ' la
afloat that Uncle Joe has re
signed both the speakership
and his seat In congress.
an unadulterated fake.
And Still They Come.
COUNCIL BLUFFS. Ia.,
April 14. (Special to The
Bumble Bee.) Another Mike
turned up here todiy and
asked If be was too late to
get his name on the roll of
honor. Saya he would have
got here sooner,
couldn't stop running
Jockey was killed.
Try te Save
The I'ses of Rellclea.
To ue religion as a cloak.
Our Indignation might pro
voke; Rut rirls with not enough for
Can ue it for an Easter 'hat.
LINCOLN. April H
to The Bumble Bae.)
state house offlc'als
appearance this morning they
ul surprised to find the cap
The Bumble Bee.
CUBS DO Mi rVSCTMTW
. 1WMT TOAKE
SOME fcPtrO THE HE XT
TIME I SPRINT -tor TEH
THI3 VOVJ MVJTi
BEHIND nc wi t ri
A WHIP nriD ir nv
ftwAV cst ME HO
MUCH I COMPLAIN -
ir vou oeiv me
TO GE T VOVJ t
POSITION IN i
6 eViW .TOMORROW
PE Hi3iirni .
AND NOTIC E.O
'I I OUCH' 1 IprricrR-
Al felahli llssetvedJ
S. E. Kiser.in the
Into one ot his and stray strands, ot her
liken halt- brushed his cheek.
"Why," aha asked, after they had sat
thus for a little while, "would you want
to know It, .Harry t"
"Well, .11 would. I'd give a whole lot
to know t was coming before It happened.
"But why? There must be some reason.
.'.'.'if I ktiew -the world i was going to get
smashed 'at a certain-' time there's some
thing fd do just before the end came."
"Oh. Harryl"What la it?"
"If If I'Unew.'there was going to be a
collision and they had It all figured out so
we'd know Just when the crash - would
occur I'd 'd "
"Yes yes, you would what?"
"I'd com to you just before the end and
and kiss you!"
After she had unwound her arms from
about his neck and he could use his Hps
for speaking again he said:
"Gee, I hope the comet's tall won't do
anything to upset affairs here now."
ltol tied down with wire ropes
faaterte'd" 'to' 'the neighboring
telegraph poles. It Is under
stood the-work was done dur
ing the night by Lincoln busi
ness .men who Will take no
chances on losing out on such
a good thing..
Bumble Bee stings are al
ways the best.
The Census Takers Are Coming
.... Don't .die . or move
away until after you
C. L. SAUNDERS.
WANTED Agents to sell all
the 'popular Songs of the day.
"Him Dry I Am" "Little
Brown Jug." - Sure to go like
hot cakes in Lincoln and oBher
towns In the drouth belt.
Apply by mail'. Box 1313.
Through South Dakota.
. . .Th Boosters, some
times knows as rain-
makers, will start on
another ' Junket next
month. Raise the ante
and you can get In on
the game. Jack pots
strictly limited. Make
' reservations at Secre
tary's Office, Commer
' ENOA CEMENT
Be it known to all
Mikes that Mabray and
his famous troupe of
(bad) actors, who mado
the biggest hit of the
t-ann at Counslt
Bluffs, where they last
showed, have bonked
for a long run under ths
manasemrat of Uncle
Sam at the new 1-eav-en
Come Early and Avoid
Prices According to
What the Trsfflo
HELP! HKLP! HELP!
t'nless some charitable
person comes to my res.
Cue with a handout I
will have to cloe at I
for ' want of monev to
par my llKht b II. Come
acruss quick or I must .
go on a strike.
The Postofflce Clock.
PAT - -A" - TO') - ENTER.
NEWKT THIVQ IN
No v a't for th eon-
"trlbutlon bn. Jf you
don't like the srrmnn
yon- can hit It to the
put - in
No liwt'ons -Nor - Plugged
SIDELIGHTS ALONG ,
"It does not take a new member of con
gress long to realise that he does not create
such a terrlflo commotion upon his arrival
In Washington," said Representative John
A. Kellher of Massachusetts.
'I am speaking from experience," added
Mr. Kellher. who Is serving his fourth
term from the Ninth Massachusetts district.
which, by the way. Is a record for con
tinuous service from the district.
'When I came down to Washington Im
mediately after my first election to con-
gress." said Mr. Kellher. "I felt It was up
to me to uphold the dignity of the grsnd old
commonwealth, not only at ths capltol, but
In private life as well. I still think so. but
I have modified- my views slightly.
"I first lived at a hotel, but did not like
to confine myself to one or two rooms and
was not fond of hanging around the hotel
lobby. I told my secretary to look around
tne city and see If he could not rent a
comfortably furnished house. Not until 1
signed the lease did I realise what I was
up against. When I moved in with a couple
of trunks I found that I was the temporary
owner of about thirty furnished rooms. I
was not troubled by a small army of callers
and In desperation ordered my secretary to
live with me.
"The worst feature of my first venture
In housekeeping was an Inheritance from
the owners of the house. It seems that
thy were Interested In cats. In fact, they
had given Instructions to the city officials
to turn over to them all the stray cats to
be found In Washington. They gave them
the best care, but, when I took the
house, were compelled to distribute them
to numerous families. Evidently the
felines did not fare wall In their new-
homes. Each night when I was pondering
over the preparation of my maiden speech
In the house I was disturbed by an army
of oa.s yelling In chorus to get back to
their old home. What with the nightly
visit ot the cats, the lonesomenera of the
house and at laBt an awakening to the
fact that a member of the house Is not
such It terrible Important Individual at tor
Rival for Franklin's
It is one of the "bromldlums" of science
that when a practical discovery of great
value to the world has been made by one
roan It Is almost Invariably found that
other men have been working along the
same lines, though all independently of
one another. Eyt If a trite statement, It is
nevertheless an almost universally true
one. The death of Prof. Dolbear recalls
labors that antedated by many years the
working Introduction of one of the most
Important business and social agencies
that has ever been given to the world. It
Is the man who develops and adapts
rather than the man who makes capture
of a new Idea or principle who takes his
place among the .mmortals.
It has been supposed Franklin had a
clear field and no competitors In his fresh
contributions to electrical science, but It ia
now recalled that If he did not have a com
petitor he had a co-laborer and experimen
ter, whose name is entitled to larger rec
ognition than It has received In connection
with the earlier stages of Investigation
of this now so widely employed force. An
electrical exhibition Is . In progress In Phlla
delphla, and among Its features Is a card
Of admission giving the bearer the right to
attend the lectures of Ebeneser Klnnersly
on the newly "discovered eleotrlo fire."
This man .was a teacher in the Institution
that grew to be the University of Pennsyl
vania. He was a near neighbor of Frank
lin as well as a friend and admirer, and
their Scientific pursuits wers to a consid
erable extent In common. In fact, a few of
th men of his time claimed that some of
tha credit that Franklin received should
One Day Enough for
Having spent a big bundle of moneV fix
ing up and opening a hotel In Chicago,
Louis Sing, a Chinaman, decided that one
day's experience was enough and proceeded
to sell out. This Is why he Jumped the
Job, as told In the Tribune:
"I open the Canton Saturday night. Big
grand opening with fireworks, flowers, and
Chinese fruit. Something to drink, too.
Everybody tell me, 'Louis, you got fine
hotel,' I say 'yes, cost me three, four thou
sand dollar to open up.'
"About twenty my good friends call In to
see me fct grand opening. Pete, my man
ager, had a red vest Tha police sergeant
over to Harrison street station tell me to
make Pete take off vest. He say It drive
trade away. I go and tell Pete to take off
vest, nd he tell me to Jump In the lake. He
say he manager of hotel and he wear any
kind of vent he want.' Then I aay, Oo far
as you like.'
"About 1 o'clock In the morning, after all
my friends gone, Pete want to lock door
and go to bed. I say, 'No, If you lock door,
It ain't hotel.' He say to me, 'What you
know about hotel.'- And I say 'd little,
but I know, more than you I say, 'I don't
wear rca vcsi anyway.
"Then Pete he get mad and tell me to
leave the hotel. He say he manager, and I
must take orders from him. I tied a can
to pete right there.
"I try to sleep cn a cot In ths office, but
bell ring all nlsht. Some ono want les
water and somebody else kick for more
heal. I go down in the basement and fire
up the furnace.
"About 1 o'clock a cab coma with twn
Chinamen In it.' They want front room. I
say all the front rooms are occupy, and
they say I don't know how to run hotel
After they go away I try to go to Bleep
ataln. Thn the telephone ring and some
all, I oon tired of my bargain, sublet tha
house and went to live In bachelor apart
Representative Gilbert M. Hitchcock ot
Nebraska Is married. Postmaster General
Frank Hitchcock is not married. Repre.
sentatlve Hitchcock lives at a certain fash.
lonaMe apartment house In Washington,
rostmaator General Hitchcock haa barheloc
apartments at the same place.
A day or two ago when Representative
Hitchcock returned to his home from th4
Capltol he found among his mall a lettas)
from a New York department atore ad
dressed "Mr. Hitchcock, The Connecticut ,
Washington, D. C." !
Representative Hitchcock opened the en I
vclope and frowned at Its contents. Asl
soon as Mrs Hitchcock saw the contents of
the envelope she frowned, too, and looked
Inquiringly at her husband. The envelop
contained a bill for 128 parasols, the eot
of which was considerably more than th
average government clt-rk receives from
Uncle Pam each month.
"I do not understand this," said Mft
Hitchcock to his wife. "I have not n
barked In the parasol business."
A second glsce at the bill showed that
although the envelope was addressed "Mr
Hitchcock." the bill , was made out t9
"Frank Hitchcock." Now Representative)
Hitchcock Is a democrat and Is keen on tha
scent of 'extravagance in a republican ad
ministration. He immediately has a vision
of an outrageous misapplication of funds
In the postofflce. He returned the Mil to
the envelope with a note, whleh. read:
"This envelope , was opened by mistake.
The .enclosure was read with amasement i
(Signed) Gilbert M. Hitchcock." j
There will be no congressional investlga '
tlon of the wholesale purchase of parasols
by Postmaster General Hitchcock. Repre
sentative Hitchcock having discovered that
the parasols were distributed as favors by
Mr. Hltclrcook at a cotillon at which he waa
host recently.' ,
Recollections of a Pio
- neer in . the Elec
have been given to Klnnersly, though noth
ing is recorded that' gives any positive
clue as to how the honors should have
been divided. ;
Franklin was a man of the world, while
Klnnersly preferred ' the cloister of th
scholar. Moreover, Franklin knew the value
of printer's Ink better than almost any ;
other man of his generation, and, while
Kinnersly's lectures might have been heard
by hundreds, the former's theses' went to
hundreds of thousands and are going still.
He was evidently the more masterful spirit ,
and doubtlessly the bolder and more confl- ,
dent Investigator, too sure of his work to
be Jealous of others, while Klnnersly was
too modest and retiring to be Jealous ot
him or to claim more than he was perfectly,
willing to grant , ,
The professor addressed to him this un
grudlng appreciation of the development
of the lightning rod: "I most heartily con- 1
gratulate you upon the pleasure you must
have In finding your great and well-founded
expectation o far (fulfilled. May this
method of security from the destructive
violence of one of the most awful powers
of nature meet with such further suocese
as to Induce every good and grateful heart
to bless Ood for this Important dlsoovery.
May the benefit thereof be diffused over
the whole globe. May It extend to the latest
posterity of mankind and make the nam
of Franklin, like that of Newton, inv
mortal. V That prayer haa been pretty well
answered, one of the most notable ap
plications of the device toeing to the Wash- ,
Ington monument at the national capital.-
Boston Transcript. 1
Experience of a China
man Banning a Hotel
body op wire want to know If this Is tho
police station. I ay, 'No, you got wrong
"Half past 8 o'clock Chinaman In room
No. 12 ring the bell, and when I go up
atalrs he aay. 'Bring me ooffee and rolls.'
I ain't got no coffee In the place and rolls,
and he say I keep h of hotel.
"Then to make It good a fellow, look Ilk
Italian, he skip out by lowering his suit
case out of back window into alley. He
beat me out of 7S cents for night's lodging."
''Blessed is the bride that the sun shUMs)
A bride should use no pin In her wedding
clothes, and she should avoid looking In
tha tlasj when she Is completely drenaed for
The wedding ring should not be tried on
before tho service, and to take It oft after
ward Is unlucky. ,
"It you marry In Lent you wlU live to
rent." May Is an unlucky month for wed
dings, and June and October are specially
It Is an old Yorkshire custom to pour hot
water over the doorstop after tha happy
couple have departed, In order to keep ta
threshold warm for another bride .
When tho bridesmaids undress the bride
thsV must be careful If she have any pins
about her to throw them away, A single
pin left might cause her Ul-luck. And If a
bridesmaid keep one of these pins she
need not expect to be married before the
next Whluuntlde or Easter at tha very
earliest. Home Notes
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