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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (April 1, 1910)
6 THE NEK: OMAHA, FRIDAY, APRIL 1, IM, f t li v . tut tTMAiiX ? Daily -Bee V "VNDKD BT BDWAHD ROSK WATER. VICTOR ROSrWATKR. EDITOR. F.ntrl at Omaha poatofflce second- I matter. . TIRU8 OF eUBSCRIPTION. Hal.'y Bee (Inoludtng Panday). per week lje Dllr Bee wtilvut Bunday), rr w,V15 Illy nx (without Sunday), on year..o t!lr Boe and Ponday. one year w DELIVERED BT CARRIES. Evening Bee (without Punday). Pr week Je Evening Be (with Sunday). P' w ,l2 Pundsy Be, one year fj7 Saturday !, on year 'li:.'' t Address all complaints of Irregularltlee U delivery to City Clroutetton Department OFFICES. Omaha The Hee Building- South Omaha Twenty-fourth and N. Council Bluffa-lJ Beott Street. Lincoln-til Ltrtle Bulld'ng Chlcaao-IMB Marquette Building New York-Rooma 1101-llOa No. J4 West Thlrv-thrr4 Strait A Weshington-Tai Fourteenth street N. w. CORRESPONDENCa ConHnunteatlona relating to f editorial matter should b addrsssta: Omaha Bee, Editorial Department. REMITTANCES. Remit hr draft, express or postal ordar payehle to Tiia Bee Puhllshlng Company. Only t-rant stamps received In payment of mall hceounts. Personal cheeks, escept on Omaha ,or aaatarn sachsnga. not accepted. STATEMENT OT CTRCtTt.ATION. State of Nebraska, ttouglas County. e.t George B. Tsuohtwk. treasurer of Tht Baa Publishing Ompany. being; duly sworn, aaye that tho actual number of full and complete eoplea of Tha Dally. Morning, Evening and Sunday Baa printed during tha month ot February. JilO. waa aa follows: 1 43,140 li a.cro t 4S.so 1 4a.M0 1 43.S7S IT aa.SM 4 4fl,t7 it a,ss I i... 4S.0M II 40,770 41.740 St 41,00 T 43,810 II 40.M0 I.. 43.0M tt 43.070 l.10 tl 48,040 10 4,a0 II 48,010 11 48,700 16 48,080 II 43,100 It 43,440 II... 4aU00 IT.., 41.700 14 4830 It. .4 43,070 ToUl ., R turned eoptao, ... .14900 0,880 Nat total 1,108,070 Daily average..... 40,400 OKORdlS B. TZ3CHVCK. Traaaurar. Subscribed In my presence and swore to before ma this 2tth day of February, lilt. ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Public. abeerlaera th etty traa r-irtlr ahaalat it Tave snavileeV thcaa, Addraaa will ae aaa4 m eftea mm reaeate4. Taken all In all, March 1910 goes out with a good character. ' If you see a bat on the sidewalk the v.. to find out whether it hides a Lu-itK 1 to kick. It. Over 200,000 peope went to Atlantic City to spend Easter. Oh, what a millinery display was there! No need to hunt for lawyers willing to .go on the supreme bench without even inquiring as to the pay. A New York preacher recently said, "Hell Is right here." That evidently puts Texas down to second place. A peculiar thing about the discovery that tome buildings are fire traps is that, the authorities too Often discover U after the fire. Omaha i booked to be a station on the transcontinental aeroplane high way. Pleased to have travelers drop in on us at any time. If Omaha has a new policeman who can speak seven tonguea it goes with out saying that he can swear in seven different languages. Do not worry if you find salt In your coffee and mustard on your ba con today. It is just All Fools' day, with chances that you are 'lt." The Egyptians may not be sure whether Mr. Roosevelt pleased them or displeased them, but it is a safe guess that he bad a "bully time." Congressman Hobson'a proposed au tomobile roads are to have a width of 1,430. feet presumably to give the lnnopent, pedestrian a chance to dodge. That New York watchman who looted a home he was employed to guard, missed his vocation. He should have run for the legislature at Albany. If President Taft should look this way for material for the supreme court judgeship he would not find any of our lawyers dodging the Judicial light ning. , Savings banks in the world hold on deposit $15,000,000,000 in money and the United States has 40 per cent of It. Postal savings banks will make our percentage still larger. While damage by prairie fire is al ways to be deplored tho suggestion that Nebraska has had a $1,000,000 pratrie fire reads altogether too much like an exaggeration of prosperity. Bribery trials In Mississippi will In all probability bo staged in the near future. They are so dramatic and re plete with climaxes as to make all sorts of spectacular effects possible. From the fact that 3,000,000,000 packages of chewing gum were sold in the United States last year one might think that from being a habit gum chewing has become an Industry. If it be true that music will make bens lay more and larger eggs, the opera will next be transplanted to the chicken coop. Care should be taken, however, in selecting the themes, for comie opera might addle the eggs. When Pahlman neglected to auggeat a better location for tha capital than Lin coln ha dtecloaed what a clever head be had for cajoling tha ausceptlble. Lincoln Star. . , i Mayor "Jim" is evidently proceeding on t bo theory that any other location would bo better than Lincoln. Problem of the Tlatfonn. The platform problem la not Incidental to primaries or to conventions, but to the effort to fit tha Infinite variety of voter Into one of two mould. Tha problem will axlat, platforma will be repudiated or car ried out In bad faith, J net so long aa they re forrad to carry a load not adapted to tha function of partlea and platforma. Whether under direct primary or conven tion ayetcm Tha Bee knows that though ayry party platform Ip tha atete eapnuaed county option tha Douglee county Ifflala tora would oppoae It. Tha obvloua way to aolva tha platform problem la to free par ties from tha neceaelty of dealing with apeclal non-party laeuea, such an laaue aa la now shattering party llnea bare. The Bee would do the stata good eervlce by bending tteelf to the obvious aolutlon of the problem. Lincoln Journal. In this tho Journal seems disposed for once to look at the problem of the platform more from a practical stand point rather than the standpoint of pure theory. The platform is supposed to outline the position of the party on the political Issues of the day, and where the party is substantially agreed as to policy no serious difficulty pre sents. But where there are Issues raised that are essentially nonpolltlcal, or on which the people do not divide on party lines, writing the demands of one side or the other Into the platform operates to disrupt rather than to unite. There is also a further question con stantly propounded as to how far the party platform concludes tha candi dates running for offloe under the party name. Does a national platform, for example, obligate a State officer, or a state legislature, to a tfeoullar line of action, or should the national plat form confine itself to subjects of na tional policy? In the same manner, the question may be asked, "Can the state platform prescribe the attitude of a member of the legislature with ref erence to matters of local moment? What the Journal says about tho next Douglas county delegation Is doubtless true, that Irrespective of Us political complexion it will be opposed to county option. But Its position will reflect the sentiment of tho people of this leg islative district whom this delegation Is expected to represent. Wo agree with the Journal, there fore, that "the obvious way to solve the platform problem Is to free parties from dealing with special . nonparty issues," and. that the question of licens ing or prohibition? of the sale of liquor is, in fact, a local ie'sue that should be fought out locally and should have no place in a state platform except of the prohibition party- Last year when three judges of the supreme court and three university re gents were to be elected, both demo crats and republicans passed the liquor question by, believing .'that it did not belong in that campaign, and the re publicans won out on a straight party lineup in spite of tho pretense of non partisanship with which the democrats tried to fool republican' voters. On a straight party issue the republicans will win again In ..Nebraska this year, but if they get tied up: wltli prohibi tion, or other nonparty Issues, they will have a harder fight ahead and have to depend more on the usual blunders of the democrats. Halley's Comet. According to the computations of famosu astronomers, - Halley's comet will be careening around through the heavens. In a tramplike manner, dur ing April and May of this year, on one of its periodical tripe through this sec-. tion of space. A great shower of meteors has been promised us, which, it is said,, will jlast for an hour or more, occurlng some time during the night of May 19 At that time the comet will be plainly visible, being distinguished from other heavenly bodies by its remarkable brilliancy and its long tail of meteoric star dust and gas. The spectacle will be one of considerable note and will be observed by thousands. ' Halley's comet makes a trip around the eun In an elliptical orbit once in every seventy-five or seventy-six years. It is a huge globular body of some thing, of which we know nothing defi nite, of great brilliancy and is said to be many times larger than the earth. The long appendange , stands straight out from the sun rat all times; It Is about 20,000,000 miles long and 600, 000 miles broad at the end. It Is the end of this tall through which the earth will pass. The reason given by astronomers for the tall of Halley's comet pointing away from the sun is that the ele ments composing it are so minute and thin that the pressure of the sunlight forces them to take the outside of the orbit. The comet travels at a rate of several hundreds of thousands of miles an hour. It will not come within 15, 000,000 miles of the earth and will probably be seen again by few, if any, members of the present genera tion. A notable tradition in the history of nations Is that to the appearance of comets have been attributed great disasters, wars, pestilences and drouths. Some astrologers predicted the flood of Paris over a year ago from some sort of astronomical phenom enon. Some predict disaster of some sort from this one, although no one has yet said Just what It will be. The rise of great men in times past has been attributed to the appearance of comets at the time of their births. 3n fact, Halley's comet has been given credit for having something to do with the greatness of Julius Caesar, Napo leon, Frederick the Great and a large number of others. To the credulous all such stories are credible. However, tho main thing to be re membered about Jlalley's comet is that it will be roost brilliant during the middle of May; that It will be vis ible for several nights and that It will be perfectly harmless, insofar, as the earth is concerned. Stronger Coaches Needed. A brief review of railroad accidents for the last year indicates that the larger number ot deaths and roalmlngs thus caused occur in the coaches - and smokers. The reason given for this Is that the large, heavy steel sleeping cars, when an accident happens, plow through the lighter day coaches, which are largely made of wood, smashing them into splinters and at the same time crushing the passengers riding there. This has been the case so often that much comment has been heard upon It. The railroad companies have from time to tlmo made Improvements in their service and equipment, but there are still too many accidents from weakness and Instability in both track and rolling stock. During recent years most of the new sleeping cars have been constructed of steel. At first only the bed of the car and the framework were of that material, but more lately a number of all steel cars of the sleeper type have been placed in service. These are very heavy and solid and are an ample protection for the passengers they carry. As a result very few sleep ing car passengers are ever seriously injured in time of wrecks. They es cape and the all-steel coaches them selves are rarely demolished, although their weight and solidity fairly crush the lighter cars. Several progressive railroads are Installing steel car equipment for the ordinary passenger, with very sat isfactory results, and others are to follow as rapidly as tho shops can turn the cars out. It it to bo hoped that the example thus set will he fol lowed by other roads and that before long, for the safety of life and prop erty, all the coaches used, whether sleepers, day coaches, smokers, bag gage or postal, will be of this more substantial type. Bribe-Giving Banks. While the country in general hat been shocked at the extent of the cor ruption exposed In municipal affairs in Pittsburg, yet the most serious aspect of It seems to have been the last to develop. The part played by the na tional and savings bank officers In bribing councilman that their banks might profit from the city deposits is decidedly discreditable to a class sup posed to be above such performances. The question is, how could national banks pay out big chunks of bribe money and hide it from the national bank examiners? That crooked bank clerks can misappropriate the funds of the bank and sometimes escape de tection by clever manipulation of the books Is not so disquieting, but when tho heads of the banks themselves are caught using the bank' money as bribes to buy business for private profit, a drastic remedy should be available. , , , In this instance not only are. the bank officials party to tho corruption, but they ara prime factors In it, and the banks areJthe principal benefic iaries. To uphold the Integrity of the national banking system it would be no more than right that banks con ducted in such lawless manner should forfeit their charters to make sure against repetition of the offense. Such a punishment would bo severe, but It would be an effective deterrent to future malpractice and corruption of the same sort. Kansas City for Biver Traffic The reputation which Kansas City has long had for doing things Is rein forced by the most recent example of Its energy. Kansas City desires to de velop a transportation service on the Missouri and In order to assure the project has pledged $1,000,000 in stock subscriptions for a corporation organized to put boats on the river. A given time was set in which to raise the money and the enterprising citi zens of that town went to work. A few of the most wealthy and public- spirited signed up for $50,000 each to encourage the effort and help bring out the smaller contributions. With thirty days of the allotted time for the undertaking left, $30,000 more than the amount pledged had been subscribed. The example thus set by Kansas City has aroused St. Paul to discuss, seriously, a like campaign for the up per Mississippi. Interested men in that northern city have investigated the situation, comparing It with the conditions existent in Missouri and have decided that even a smaller ef fort could produce like great results for St. Paul, because of better river conditions which obtain. Kansas City has set a pace for other river townB, and if it is to be taken as a prophecy of future effort, to be made in behalf bf the development of river naviga tion, big things are scheduled soon to take place on our inland waterways. - Between the devil and the deep blue sea hardly describes the dilemma In which a man finds himself nowadays when driven to drink. On one side is a clamor for laws that will compel him to drink water, and on the other the testimony of experts that water is seldom fit to drink. And here Is the president of the Nebraska conservation congress asserting that he found fifty Wells near Lincoln "containing the hairs of cats, rabbits and other ani mals" giving the water a flavor not possessed by even the Missouri river liquid. With all these warning signs what is a thirsty mortal to do? ' The reason why tho Oregon plaa of choosing- United States senators com mands favor in democratic quarters Is that tho only tlmo U was over tried In practice it led to the election of a dem ocrat by a republican legislature. If the first experiment in Oregon had produced a reverse result and sent a republican to the senate by votes of democratic lawmakers the Oregon plan would never have been adopted for Nebraska by our late democratic legis lature. According to s physician's certifi cate filed In court one of the parties to a pending divorce suit is afflicted with "neuro psychasthenta," whatever that is. It is not specified In the stat utes as a cause for divorce, but tt must have been merely overlooked by the lawmakers. Of course every one knew that the announced candidacy of a certain congressman-editor for the United States senate was setting our Nebraska prai ries on fire, but still no one expected the consuming flame to get beyond control and devastate the land. A Vermont man has recently been mistaken for Uncle Joe Cannon and the people of his community are in doubt whether to, put him out of the church or eleot him to congress. At last accounts they were still divided on tho matter. After having rebuked Mr. Roosevelt congress Is preparing to take It back. It will be remembered In this connec tion that Mr. Roosevelt Is nearlng homo and will land In this country In June and will land on it shortly there after. Broaden Out. New York Poet. The trouble Is that to many stateamen are In favor of peace with honor, peace with Justice, and peace with reservations. Instead of peace with all roan. I Glvtaar Poo. Proper Age Pittsburg Dispatch. p-nut unt ft AAA vaara In an KrrvDtlan tomb Is declared to be aa good aa tha eold-atorage chicken that haa spent threa yeara on loe. Paonle who tried to eat the chicken oaj eaelly believe this, though thay might ax- prras It differently. They would prooaDiy consider It mora speclflo to ay that tt oould not be any woree. i t T Logic of tne nitoation. Boston Herald. Federal lnvestlrators In the western rail road demand for higher wages endorse the desired Increase aa Justified by, a 23 per cent Increase In the coat ot living in th last four veari. The loglo of the in vestigators cannot be questioned. Their decision" will be quite as Important as a Dreoedent as' in Its Immediate application to the railroad problwm In hand. Moat Rat oral Thtngr to Do. New York Sun. Thar, u no discernible Impropriety In the journey of thef Hon. Oscar S. Straus from Constantinople to Cairo to meet nn per trnA and former official chieftain, Colonel Roosevelt On the contrary. It la natural that Mr. Straus shtfuld go. For the statements that tha American ambasaa dor waa ""summoned" from his post by a private cltlxeh traveling on privaio dub .... tk.r tfim nrnhaaaador la neglecting his dutlea fo'rJthe"ake of Colonel Rooaevalfs convenience ol pleasure; and that tha am k.aiinra tnumev to the Nile at tha ex pense of the ' American taxpayere thara Is no responsible .authority wnaiever. iv sensible person will believe a word of all this. ' ... A GREAT JUDGE. Transition of Jadfe Brewer front Lib eruliet to Iudlvldonllat. Chicago Post. A great Judge, yes, but a Judge whose Jlfe work falls Into periods which may be clearly distinguished. It Is not unlikely that history, taking his career In a large way, will write him down as the Intellectual equal of almost any of tho great Jurists on the supreme court bench. But his con temporaries, who recall his influence upon current events, will naturally think of him in three ways. As a member of the supreme court of Kansas In the 70s, Judge Brewer set a re markable pace. His opinions placed that court well up in the front? If not at the very front of the state tribunals. This is no mean tribute, for it must not be for gotten that the state courts of lajt resort affect social conditions and property rights more closely and at more points than the more august body at Washington. He who writes the chapter of Judge Brewer's life in the court house at Topeka will have a story of no little Interest and signlfcance. And when he waa appointed by President Harrison to the supreme" court of the United States in 1S89 he carried remarkable powers and a progressive spirit with him. He was of marked liberality In his views and had much to say about the necessity of keeping the law abreast of social condi tions. The letter kllleth, the spirit giveth life, and there was no mistaking the fact that David J. Brewer was for the spirit. But It was not very long before, with other Judges who might be named, he took fright at certain popullstlc manifestations of the period and settled back Into what may be called, without stigma, a reaction ary view. He thought he aaw a great wave of paternalism engulfing the country and his opinions began to reveal very clearly the necessity which he felt himself under, of combating that sinister Influence. From being a liberal, ha became a some what extreme Individualist. His mental powers, too, waned somewhat In the last few years, as those who have followed his long and somewhat tedious opinions can testify. But with these discriminations It Is still fair, to carf David J. Brewer one of the very biggest men who have sat with the supreme court. Our Birthday Book April 1, 1010. Edwin A.- Abbey, the famous American artist, was born April 1. 1H62, at Philadel phia. He is now making his home In Lon don. Rev. A. B. Storms, president of the Iowa Ftata Agricultural college at Ames, Is Just 60. He was born at Lima, Mich., and be fore taking hia present position was pastor of a church in Des Moines. Fred Mets. president of the Home Real Estate and Investment company, has an April I birthday, being born here In Omaha In IMS. Ha waa formerly associated with hla father and brothers In the Mets Bros. Brewing company. Fremont C. Craig, accountant with the Vrton Pacific, la 48. He was born at Brace vtlle, O.. and started out aa a telegraph, operator for tha Erie railroad, coming to Omaha la L Around New York BJpplaa on the entreat of life aa Seen la tae Oraal Aaatrlcaa Metaopalls fresa ay Day. Mayor Oaynor persists In knocking mu nicipal customs and practices with suoh regularity as to provoke a succession of painful shocks among the beneficiaries. A score or more of barnacled practices revered In the days of polities! machines have felt the axe. Barnacled bureaus have been sent to political Junk piles. Following with accelerated speed are public telephones In stalled In private homes, lopping off a graft of $14,000 a year. The latest to feel the ate Is the practice of the police of re taining In the "rogues gallery" plrturee of persons arrested and later discharged. The mayor has ordered the gnllery stripped of pictures of persons arrested on suspicion. He reminds the police that to subject an unconvicted prisoner to the picture process and list him aa a rogue even after tha ac cusation against him haa fallen through, Is wrong no lea to bo abhorred than tha "third degree." The bigness of a rogue's gallery may be a thing to be pointed to with pride by police chiefs, but can It be a feather in any man's caj to have tha guiltless among his trophies? A knock for tha "third degree" la next on tha list of police reforms. "It Is astonishing," remarked a well dresaed woman In an uptown car, "the trouble theae department stores take in order not to loaa customers that have an account" "For instance?" suggested her male com panion. "Oh, you are In that business, of course, and know all about It, but tho other day I ordered soma trifles for a party and they did not arrlv In time, and I com plained. Next day my maid brought up a steel engraved card wtlh the name of the manager of tha store on it- When I went down I found such a stylish looking man, faultlessly dressed, and full of apologies, who assured me it would never occur again." "Do you suppose you are the only one he ever called on or that had to be pacified that day even?" asked tht man. "Why, no; exactly replied the woman, bridling a little at tha Implied loss ot im portance. "I suppose they take tha same trouble with others who have large ac counts. Tou ara In tho bualneas. Tou ought to know." "Then, may I ask what time does the manager have left to manage tha store?" pursued the man, attll smiling. 'The man who called on you Is not the manager of the store at all and I think you will find his card simply says 'manager.' He Is the manager of customers who have kicks coming." To lose his wife by a court decree of separation and yet ba held liable for her bills Is the experience of W. Oould Brokaw, the millionaire yachtsman, whose wife re cently won a separation from hlra. Two New York dressmakers sued Brokaw for $2,140 for gowns furnished Mrs. Brokaw from November It, IMS, to January $1, 1900. Brokaw set up a defense that his wife re calved an allowance from him at that time and that the gowna were a luxury and not necessity.' Ho asked for an order to dismiss the suit, but Justice Putnam at MJgeola, U I., denied hla motion and ordered the case put on tha oalendar. Tha law In regard to automobillsts, ama teur or professional, who break the speed legislations Is explicit, and Diatriot At torney Whitman of New York haa In t tructed hrs assistants, in prosecuting cases under It, to acctpt no minor plea in oases1 of a third offense: Tha penalty pre scribed is both fine and Imprisonment. To this tha apeolal sessions' Justices object, on the ground that It deprives them of needed Clscretlon. Thero Is, of course, something in the contention of one of them that a first offense may ba a very aerioua one, while a third may have mitigating circumstances,- but tha district attorney takes the position that, while tha provision as to first offenders may be too lenient, that which Bays third offfnders ahall go to Jail certainly Is not too severe, and should be enforced. "The Justice Is not deprived of discre tionary power, except to the extont that If he punishes at all It must ba by Imprlson ir.nt," comments the New Tork Times. "He can, If he chooses, suspend sentence or dis miss, assuming, naturally, full responsi bility when he decides to be merciful. Mr. Whitman's stern policy will have, we feol sure, the full approval of a public that kr.owa by dally perils narrowly escaped that chauffeurs who lack either the skill or the Inclination to run their machines properly are numerous In this city, and that they cannot too soan be taught that pedes trians have rights, even when they ven ture off the sidewalk." "If you've found my dolly please be very good to her and bring her back right off, and tell her you're taking her home!" Is the plea of llttla Miss Mary Flagler, aged 6, only daughter of Harry Harkneas Flag her, and the granddaughter of H. M. Flagler, tha Standard Oil magnate. Miss Mary haa a brother older and a brother younger, but no sisters. So the dear doll her first one, and answering to the name of Clarice Beatrice Gladys Katharine Mur iel Flagler has been her chum all her life. The dolly is called "Trlx" for short. "I waa playing right out In the park In front of the house," she explained tearfully; "playing 'Rescue' with the boys. Trlx makea the most be-yewtiful captive prin cess. The Indiana had taken her and bound her and then gone out on the warpath for fresh vie victims. When we came back Trlx was gone." The campaign of the New York tax re form association for the abolition of taxes on personal property Is proceeding quite promisingly. Secretary A. C. Playdell of the association writes to tha New York Times, saying that owners of real estate aggre gating $1(1,000,000 In value have ao expressed themselves In favor of the reform, and some of them pay no taxes on personal property. One of the latter says he Is will ing to pay extra taxes on his $200,000 in vestment In real estate In order to abolish the "Infamous, unjust, cruel personal tax." It will be recalled that a bill abolishing this tax In New York City la before the New York legislature, Introduced at the request of Mayor Oaynor. Sballowneaa of Jingoism. Philadelphia Bulletin. On his return from abroad former Vice President Fairbanks utters words of truth and soberness about American relations with Japan. He is entirely right In de claring that no ground exiats for Inter rupting the peaceful aituatlon, and hla ut terances ought to be pondered by those fearsome Jingoes who are doing their worst to provoke trouble with tha mikado's gov ernment by continually predicting It as Inevitable. PUring; Wary Game. Sioux City Tribune. Not expecting to get any votes In Lincoln, Mayor Pahlman of Omaha did not run any great risk In proposing to move the capital away, but he refrained from saying where It should bo loratad. GOLD DUST Cuts Grease and Dissolves Dirt. It saves your strength. 0" The labor question is solved when you 44 Let the Gold Dust Twins do your work." GOLD DUST is an antiseptic washing powder that works wonders. It not only removes the visible dirt and grease, but goes deep after every hidden particle and minute impurity every trace of germ life sterilizes as well as cleanses and leaves everything it touches clean, pure, whole some, safe. If you want to reduce the muscular effort of household cleaning and make work a pleasure, let GOLD DUST show you the way. All you have to doistoassistGOLD DUST by directing its energy; it does most of the work. Made by THE N. K. Makers of FAIRY PERSONAL NOTES. Once Pittsburg councilman could com mand a price, but now hey give themselves away. Now comes the story that science has produced wool-bearing poultry the object, of course, being to enable their eggs to survive cold storage. Canada took from this country this year 86,481 valuable cHlsnns. They knew that across the lino lay the cheap eteak zone. Frederick B. Wemrworth, the oldest ac tive member of the Ancient and Honorable Artillery company, died of pneumonia In Boston. Mr. Wentworth was 83 years old, and very aotlvo. Weather Prophet Willis L. Moore has Issued a few remarks placing tha ground hog In the Ananias olub for falling to make good this year. It la another case of dis agreeing experts. Now It appears from testimony given at a hearing before the Pure Food board of the Department of Agriculture, that "gin ger ale" Is not ale and contalna no gin ger. It Is only another case of a popular beverge tasting more like ks name than like Itself. Julia Oleason, a Chicago shop girl, earn ing only $12 a week, gave an Ester dinner to sixty prisoners at a police station, paving for tha food out 'of her savings, which amount to SO. oenta a week for such work. John D. Rockefeller and Andrew Carengle are not to lhavo things all their own v ay in the sunny side of the street. SMILING LINES. "So you're going to marry an old man, dear; and what has he to recommend him besides t)ls money?" "Heart disease, dear, awfully bad"' Illustrated Bits. "While I was engaged to her she made me give up drinking, smoking and golf. Jjsi of all, I gave up something on .my own account." "What was that?" . "The glrl."-Judge. "Zelaya blames the United States for his downfall.". "He Isn't up to date. Is he?" "Why?" "Because if he was he would blam Uncle Joe." Houston Post. "I should think a fan manufacturer would alwaya be aure of success." "Why eo?" "Because fans are things that never fall to raise the wind." Baltimore American. "All I got for my trouble was a 'thank you,' " said the man who begrudges friendly effort. "You're lucky," replied the billionaire philanthropist. "I'm expected to say 'thank you' to people who find me a suit able method of giving my money away." Washington Star. "I am sorry," said the manager to the bare-footed dancer, "that the electricity Is behaving so badly tonight and the house isn't more than half lighted." "That Is really fortunate," said the lady, MAHOGANY, OAK - WALNUT CASES NEW PIANOS GUARANTEED FOR TWENTY YEARS : $190 CUT One Dollar a Week STOOL AND SCARF FREE A. HOSPE CO. 1513-15 DOUGLAS ST. World's Best Pianos: Mason & Hamlin, Kranich & Bach, Kimball, Bush & Lane, Hallet & Davis, Cable Nelson, Cramer and Others. GUCKERT & McDONALD, Tailors We are now displaying a most complete line of foreign novel ties for spring and summer wear. Your early Inspection is Invited, as It will afford an opportunity of choosing from a large number of exclusive styles. We Import in "single suit lengths," and a suit cannot be dupli cated. An order placed now may be delivered at your convenience. 317 Sooth Fifteenth Street 'I k aou DVST ru Ao yaw uoHT FAIRBANK COMPANY SOAP, the oval cake "because the spectacle case containing my costume seems to be hopelessly mlnluld." Cleveland Leader, "Is this proposal the result of a bet. or a joke, or a dare?" asked tha girl. "No; I ask you to marry ma because I love you." "It Is unusual, but, after all, the un usual Is the proper csper nowadays. I ac cept you, Algernon." Kansas City Journal. "For a whole year I turned my back on drink." "You noble man; what wcra you doing?"' "Driving a brewery wagon." Buffalo Ex press. Patron This set of teeth you made for me Is too big. Dentist Yes. sir. Bit down In the chair and 1 will enlarge your mouth a little." Boston Transcript. "Who Is Jane to marry?" "Ilia name Is Bridge." "Good gracious, does she carry the craEg as far as that 7" Chicago Tribune. - "That man over there seems to get tha best of everything, and yot I've never seen him give a waiter a tip." "That's easily explained. He learned tha trick in his former business." "And what was his former business?" "He was a waiter." Cleveland Plain Dealer. UNCLE HIRAM'S VISIT. Chicago Record-Herald. Yes, it's lively in the city, where they'va got their 'lectrlc lights, Ami 'the people soon have wrinkles from their staylti' out o' nights; . They've got shows aud things to keep 'em from a'glttln' lonesome there, And they look all-flred stylish In the costly clo's they wear; Iiut I guess they have their troubles, Just the same as me and you, And I reckon that 'they're often ruther worse'n ours, too. We've got wood piled .In the Woodshed that'll- last a year or So, And there's more oct where that coma from, and moro saplln's still to grow! We ain't worried over coal strikes, let tha cold winds blow away, We can carry in the billets and not have a cent to pay; , While they're shlverln' up yonder where they've got so much to see. We can heat up for 'the trebles, that the Lord sent you and me. There Is always somethin doin' to make cMy people sad; ' If It ain't a saiiFap 'amine, why, you'll hear the water's bad; When the strikers Mop the street cars, then Ihe mischief Is to pay, And the people have to foot It, gittln clubbed alon the way; And the fever epidemics and the smallpox every year Keep the city people Btewin', and I'm glad to live out here. Oh, it'e quiet in the country, and there's few uncommon sights, And God's moon and stars up yonder have to do for 'leotrlo lights; But with 'taters in the cellar and wood piled In tho shed, When there's hay stacked In the haymows for tne stock that must be fed; They can have their noisy city, with the sight up Hiere to see. And the kind old iulet country will be good enough for me. FROM $250.00 ESTABLISHED 1887. 1 1 '4 t m