How the 601FAAIMENT OFFICESAT KUALA LUMPUR (Copyright, 1910, by Wank O. Carpenter.) INUAPORE, 1910.-(Speclal Cor- Sl responaence ol The nee.) 1 want I to tell you of the new move- jiii-iim nmung me aiaiays. A generation ago this peninsula was savage and the country Jungle. It had neither roads nor railroads, there wore no renting places for travelers and the wilderness was Inhabited chiefly by wild beasts and wild men. Todav the English have taken hold of It and are mak ing It blossom like the Irrigated lands of our- irew w est. They have brought order out of chaos, and are building roads and railroads, establishing schools and laying out towns. In the Federated Malay states, which contain something like 1,000,000 In habitant, more than 600 miles of rail ways have been built and more than 3,000 miles of cart roads and bridle paths. There are hotels at the capitals and outside them new government rest houses, where travelers can stay overnight. Thirty-five years ago the people of the country had never seen a postage stamp. Today the post offices are handling more than 10,000,000 pieces of mall every year, and the post office savings banks have deposits running into the hundreds of thousands of dollars. I. arts, Courts and Schools. The population Is rapidly Increasing. It has more than doubled since the English took hold, and It is being transformed from savagery to civilization. The laws have been established and courts have been established. There Is a good police force, and the British gov ernment ha a battalion of Sikhs, known as the Malay States Guard, who keep ex cellent order. Schools have been started, hospitals erected and public works of var ious kinds are well under way. In the state of Perak more than 13) miles of canals and Irrigation ditches have been dug, and at the close of last year In the neighborhood of 100,000 acres of rubber trees had been planted. There are now some thing like 20,000,000 such trees on the var ious farms, and tens of thousands will be set out this year. The forests are being exploited, mines opened and the country prospected for tin, silver and gold. From one slate alone as much as $80,000,000 worth of tin has been taken, and In all something like 12,000 ounces of gold are mined every year. In addition they are finding lead, Iron and copper, as well a mercury, bismuth, sliver and sine. The country Is said to be very rich, but no one knows yet what It contains, although a rude sort of mining has been going on for ages. The Malays are noted for their work In the "precious metals," and the sultans of the past -had goldsmiths and carvers of silver, Ivory and wood. Some of them demanded gold and silver trees and flowers us a part of their annual tribute, and the Malay spears and krises nhild with gold have always been noted. Malays of the I'enlnanla. Hut before I go further let me tell you homuthlng about tha Malays as they live here In their own home on the tip end of Asia. They are the first cousins of our Flliplnons and belong to the race which has overrun the Dutch Kast Indies. There are something like 25,000,000 of them In Java, a largo number In Borneo, and millions In' the Philippine islands. The natives here are better looking than the Short Sharp Snap Shots Selected from lie lVaa Used to Them. fNCOLN," said a veteran Chicago Journalist, "used to laugh skep tleally over that scurrilous book. Mi-.. Trollopu's Travels In America.' "Lincoln used to say that if Mrs. Trollope's book were true, then the story of the senator and thn plaice wi.i gospel. "Thl. story Lincoln ofltm told it-was about a certain senator to whom a Wash ington hostess said at dinner: Senator, what kind of fish do yoj prefer V " 'Plaice, madam, thank you,' the sen ator answered politely. "A gentleman on the other side of the room then said, with a loud laugh: " 'Oh, senator, still a pluce hunter, eh?" " 'What's that to you. you dern strangerr exclaimed the senator, Indig nantly, and, whipping out his revolver, he shot the punster dead. "Put afterwards, when the Joke was explained to him, the senator had a good laugh, and confessed that lie hd been rather hasty; and. Indeed, to show that he bore the humorist no lasting grudge, ho. went to th. man', funeral." Chicago Journal. Muramn'a Tale of a Minister. J. Pterpmt Morgan, at th. recent dio cesan convention In New York, amused a group of clergymen with a story of a min uter. "II. was as ignorant, this good man, of financial matters," said Mr. Morgan, "as the average financier Is ignorant of mat ters ecclaalastlcal. "He one. received a check the first h. had ever got In his llCand took It to bank for payment. " 'But you must endorse the check,' Mid . th. paying teller, returning It through his little window. "'Endois. itr said the old minister, in a pui.led tuna. " 'Yes, of course. It must b. endorsed on th. back.' " 'I see.' said th. minister. And, turn British Are Developing a Jungle and .7:'l J . .--, ' V 1 S 4 Moros, but they have the same Brown skin, the same sturdy form and swaggering ways. They are clean-limbed, welt mode and by no means bad looking. .. Down here at the straits they dress In a bag-like skirt known as the sarong, above wblch Is a jacket which falls to their hlp. The sarong reaches from the waist to the calf; It Is a gray-figured calico bag, often of plaid, which Is open at both top and bottom, and Is of the save wldthi throughout. When the Malay puts on hi clothes, he steps Into his bag, raises Its top to his waist and by a twist of the wrist, fastens It there In a knot. Under the bag he may wear calico drawers, or if poor be may be naked. The rich wear pantaloons of bright colors or white duck, but the sarong Is always over the rest of their clothing. It seems to be the badge of the race, as are also the hand kerchief turban and sandals or slippers. Here at the Straits of Malacca the Malays have been contaminated by for eigners. The Europeans have taught them to drink and through the Chinese they have become opium smokers. They are not so good consequently as the people of . the wilds. They are naturally lazy and have become the loafers of this part of the world. Some of them act as coachmen for the rich Chinese or Europeans. Others do light work about the towns, and a few live iu villages scattered over the Islands, laboring only enough to keep soul and body together. Now and then one meets a rich Malay from the mainland, the son of an official or perhaps a sultan, but as a rule the Malays of the straits are shift less and poor and they grow worse off every year. Federated States. If one would see the race at Us best he should go to the peninsula and travel through the British stales. There are other provinces belonging to Slam and Johore where the progress is by no means so great, but in the federated states he will find towns which have sprung up In the Jungle and public buildings equal to those of Japan and India. But first let me tell you what these states are. If you will take your map of Asia and look at the Malay peninsula, you will see that It begins on the equator and runs 1,000 miles or so northward, the upper part belonging to Slam. About four or five hundred mlhs from the straits these British possessions begin. At the top Is Perak, not as big as New Jersey, and farther down the coast, Selangor and Negri Sembllan, which combined, are of about the same size as Perak, while east of them lies the big province of Puhang, which is almost as large as Massachusetts and New Jersey combined. The four states altogether have more than 26.000 square miles, or about 2,00) more than West Virginia. Each state la ruled by a native sultan with a British official as resident adviser. The sultan Is merely a puppet and the Britisher pulls the string. Under the sultan are numerous native officials, the most of whom have English agents to help them, the whole government being similar to what the Dutch have in Java. The com mon people think they are ruled by Malays, but the better classes know that the British are the real power behind every office and that John Bull Is king. These sultans live In great state. Their uniforms are decorated wltli gyld leaf. They have gold-hllted swords, and when they go abaut they have servanta who carry gorgeous umbrellas to shield them from ing the check over, he wrot. across th. back of It: " 'I heartily endorse this check. "Cin cinnati Enquirer. A Good, Straight Lase, President Taft has Just reappointed Franklin K. Lane for a full term on the Interstate Commerce commission, showing that President Taft knows a good Lane when he sees him. President Roosevelt put Lane on the commission in the first place to fill out an unexpired term, and put him on at Just the time when the Hepburn bill came along and the Inter state Commerce commission was galvan ized Into acute and arbitrary action. Lane arrived from California, grabbed hold with both hands and has been one of the most valuable, clear-headed, far-seeing and hard-working members the commission ever had. Ther. are those who think a government Job lay a snap, says a writer In the Satur day Journal. 6ome of them are, but mot of them are not. The men who ar. put In the Judicial and executive positions In th. service of this generous government which is said wth all fingers crossed the generous part of lt. I mean work harder than any set of men of similar aOilllty In the wide world. It is a great and a dignified honor to be a Justice of the supreme court of th. United States. Also, It I. a Job of work that keeps the great and dignified Justices laboring by day and by night nearly all th. time. So with th. Interstate Commerce com mission. Sine, our paternal executives be gan regulating th. railroads th. work that has been piled on th. Interstate Commerce commission Is appalling. Ther. will be a switching case, for example, with a prin ciple involved, and along will com. a few mile, of opinion and a few tons of brief, and. after sitting all day listening to dreary talk about preferential and dif ferentials, and all that. ther. ar. nights and nights of dull toll, searching through books, construing opinion., examining evi dence and doing a dosen dispiriting and d.adly task. Work? Why, th. member. 4h J 1 II I m It f! II 1 1 I I I I I III I I . ... i .i the sun. They have as retainers, men with spears and swords, and the common people bow down to the ground In their honor, VaV 1. .. - li. I . .. .1 . . 1 "" ' "i tCTiaui ,,,"ul" iuiii:.v unuiLt-u iv mm oy ino British. The taxes are levied and collected under the direction of the British, and the revenues are expended as they prescribe, In Koala Lumpur. The chief city of these states Is In Sel- tngor. it is Kuaia Lumpur, and It has population of about 40000 people. It is " government are. although the states are . , . . r . Lumpur may be reached by Bteamer from Singapore and by rail from the coast. It He. some distance inland, and has rail roads connecting It with the other states. The town has magnificent government of fices, several clubhouses, a hotel and num- erou. stores It 1. In a rich tin mining dls- ir.cl. ana nas a large population ol Chi- nese. wno are euner intcrestea in or work In the mines. Outside the city plantations of coffee, pepper and cocoa have been started and me .iace nas recently oeen granted landB on special terms for the planting of sago, pepper, gammer and rubber. ' of the Inter.tat. Commerce commission work all the time. Lane wa. born In Prince Edward Island, but wa. moved to California so soon after that event that, if one Is not too critical about It, one ran almost say he Is a born California. In any event, he Is a real Callfornian, whether he was born there or not. Is the Pacific coast representative on the commission, and one of the biggest men, Intellectually, we have in our pulsat ing governmental midst. Lane is smooth and round, sort of cherubic. His face Is round, hi. head i. round and not embarrassed with any too much hair; his chest is round everything about him Is round. He Is a student, a worker, an Impressive orator, a corking after-dinner speaker, a pleasant com panion and a big lawyer. A lot of tha multitudinous and Intricate work of the commission falls to him, and he handles It skillfully and expeditiously. Th. Pop sad III. Friend. The pope remember, old friends and when he know, that some person he Is acquainted with Is In Rome he never rails to grant an audience, reports the New York Sun. A few days ago a sailing vessel from Malta was shipwrecked on the Roman coast. Four men of the crew were drowned and the remaining seven swam ashore and were rescued with great difficulty by some shepherds. The master and mate were Injured and they wer. conveyed to one of th. hospitals in Rome. The pope read about th. ship wreck In th. newspapers and th. name of one of th. men sounded familiar to him. "I think that I must hav. known this man called Rugler In Venice, where he used to com. on a schooner from Malta." said th. pop. to his secretary, "and I would Ilk. to see him." An audleno. was arranged and Rugler. th. mate, went up to th. Vatican. Th. pop. kept him over an hour In his private library, heard th. story of th. shipwreck and presented him with, a gold medal. "I saw your hollnes. n Venice one, years ago." said th. mate. TITE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE: MAECII L. i . " " Jf 5 I l UIlt I .f I i 'l '. - iy. J . I II- -ill r . 1 TH H0Udd ARE OF BOARDS WITH A ThHTQHOFMURVB i-r-. 11. ' 1 M t V r : ' iiiL.ll ' my i a i .-. ' ElCi dTlTE $ ftULEd BYAHITIIfE SULTAN The government consist, of th. sultan, his highness Tllah-El-Dln-Sulelman-Shah, and the British resident, II. Conway Bel- 1 ..1 .1 rrv..A I. - . I , . - . a "nu, incio id a wunuu ui biio tunnci-icu wmi mem anu mere are aopuraie unices for the secretary of Chinese affairs, for lands, mines, revenue, treasury and public works. The English clerks number several hundred, and In addition there are other rnnMLrripi'a pnraPMi In mining n nil ..nnrt. ing 0 o-o - - o ... , The town ' has a Dark, a native bazar and ft gambling farm licensed by the state, xne uritisn cimm that the Chinese will gamble anyhow, and ,that the best way to resinct ins vice ana to maKe money out of lt is to tax lt. Gambllng and Opium Sir Frank Swettenham, ettenham, who was the of the country for a long at tha nmhllnv hahlt 1. resident general while, claims that lneradlcable amonR Uoui Malay, and Chneiie and that lt woul(J lake one po. ii, . . . .. i says the Malay rulers object to having public' gambling forbidden, and that they refuse to give up the revenues wh.ch come from lt. According to law. gambling Is now licensed only In places and In build lngs approved by the police, and that "To be sure," answered the pope. "I remenrbered your name and the vow you told me about, the vow you made when you were shipwrecked once before. Do you .till keep It?" "Yes, your holiness, and I have Increased' lt now," answered the man. He then told the pope that he ascribed the rescue to a repetition of the old vow, namely, that he would fast on bread and water twice every week for tho rest of his life. "But you already fasted twice every week for the other vow and now you will have to eat bread and water on four days our of seven," exclaimed the pope, then h. added: "You are on old man nnd'lt Is cruel to starve youralf, so I prohibit you from keeping both vows." The seaman expostulated. He said a bargain was a bargain, and as God had saved his life he was bound to fulfill hi. promises. The pop. Insisted. He tried to convince the seaman that the vow was not binding, as lt was too hard for a man of his age, but realizing that It wss useless to argue the point he had a regular brief of dispensation drawn out there and then, signed and sealed lt In the form and he handed tl to the seaman, saying: "If you do not obey this you w.U be ex communicated, and 4hls exempts you from fasting." The seaman then bowed his head and promised to obey. Only a Piece of Coral. The two men bad not met for years. The man from out of town looked the other man over. "Sam. old Jim," he said. "Awfully glad to se. you again. Strang, how such old friends will drift apart. 80 you're married T' The other man nodded. 'Three years ago.". "Well. well. And I never heard of It until I met Jack Ranslm last week. -What's that?" He was still studying th. other man's appearance and his eye caught sight of a segment of coral that dangled from his friend's watch fob. II. lifted It and looked 6, 1910. t, I i fl 1 ' V-J A. "Li v r n WW V ' :l t I I 111 I I. 1 I . ?f . 1 I I 111 1 II l I I . . . ' ,t. : ! fd S 14 III ti ll -X .at :7- vi - , -11 within certain hours. Tl la nrovlded that U must be for ready money and in th. halls open to all. The players are nearly all I n.. . . .. iim.iib. i ne men wno own tne gamDiing nouses aia in tne suppression or lotteries, The opium curse is handled In about the same way the gambling. It is farmed out to the highest bidder and he alone has the right to deal In raw opium ann tn m.k. I In , . Knnn in wnlh - w . vno v..b.,iuu " ....... it is usd for smoking. With the con- sent of tha envarnmant ha rival nut licenses for the sale of this stuff and sells it at the price fixed by his contract. A chest of Indian opium costs about $760 and upward. When it is turned into chandu it Is worth $2,600 and perhaps .000 So, you see. ther. Is a big profit In th. business. The sellng of liquors ! rmed out the same way, as Is also pawnbroking. It may be questionable whether such thlnirs are rrariltiihla In a Christian government. They seem a blot on the Brltl.h administration, which Is ,i,.i. ,im., k a mi Mates Without Debts. m i . . i . , . . . . . . xne leueralea siaies . ; are among me few colonies of the world which have no nnhlln rieht Thuv tnLraa In innM than . 1. . , , j ;- - ...... spend every year and none of them owas Several at It mors closely. The surface of th. coral was roughened by slight Indentions. "Some sort of token, eh?" he rattled on. "You always wa. a great chap for picking up worthies, trifle.. That's a queer charm." He looked up and caught sight of the other man', face. "Why, I beg your pardon, Jim," he cried. "That', all right," said the other man, a little unsteadily "Only, you see, the boy whose teeth made those marks he was nearly 2 died last summer." Cleveland Plain Dealer. Attorney. Aa-reedwlth th. Court. A lawyer came Into court drunk, when the Judge said to him: "Sir, I am sorry to see you In a situation which Is a dlsgrac. to yourself and family and the profession to which you belong." This reproof elicited the following col loquy : "Did your honor speak to me?" "I did. I said, sir, that, in my opinion, you disgraced yourself and family, the court and the profession by your course of con duct." , "May I I It please your honor, I have been an attorney In In In this c-court for fifteen years, snd, permit me to say, your honor, that this is the first correct opinion I ever knew you to glv.." Dundee Ad vertlser. Too Much Ilnetle.' Senator Tillman, dl.cusslng railway wrecks, said: "There Is. I think, too much hustle, too much hurry, about some of our railroads. This hustle, when we turn to th. year's unpardonable casualties, seems as Inde cent ss th. SI Taylor case. "At 81 Taylor's funeral th. doctor and th. undertaker wer. conversing in low tones. " Too bad,' said th. undertaker, that poor Si's wife wasn't with him when he passed away. How did It happen T " 'Mr a Taylor,' th. doctor whispered, was uptown at th. time ordering her mourning outfit.' "Th. undertaker, with a bitter amUe, turned away to supervise th. funeral pro Remaking 8- TH &UWD'OFTHt SULTAN f Cent f amounts Singapore, says that he hns to Ket China,, to something ike $15,000,000 and It. ex- coolie, to do hi. work, for his own nwn penditure. are less than $10,000,000. Selanger will not labor takes in over $10,000,000 per annum and It I have visited some of the M.lay vll cost, only about $7,000,000 to run the .tate. lages. Their houses are scattered about Nlgrl Sembllan ha. receipt, of UM.00O under the tree, near the wJo",. . . .u "". yrt n th9 of lts development, i rM lovemmoms ar manaird for th . people aiid the money raised goes back to tnsm. . , The new railways are almost self-.up- porting. Their receipt, last year were nd th0lr P,nIlturl JUB bout 1100.000 more. This, in connection with th. VT.hK,.Wh!,Ch thy bU'Wlnff ,nd Ui. fact that railroad, are practically new to the country. 1. surprising. The customs receipts last year brought In over $12,000,000 and license, almost $5,000,000, th. latter be nt largely made up farm gambling, opium and pawnbroklng receipts. The gov- .rnment spent last year over $5,000,000 on public works, and it Is encouraging the development of the country along the lines of agriculture. In all the colonies planta- , ilons are being set out and large aurlcul- tural estates started. I have before me a list of those now under operation In Selangor. They embrace such crops as rubber, coffe., oocoanuts. cloves and pep- per and they ar. largely owned by syndl- cates and other associations. Many of the estates are of 1,000 acres, and some of 10,000 and 20.000 acres each. Among th. chief crops of the Malays are Tlce and cocoanuts. The Chinese grow sugar, ana the government has started pep- Pm". ana betel boxes for the lime. Per plantations, and there are many good ,eaves nd nuts. Some high officials bare Pepper farms. The British have also Intro- thelr chewing molds girls who carry abont duoed silk worms and have expended large thn batel Beta er th. delicious ma urns on th. introduction of Arabian coffee, terta,s to them from time to time preset rubber and tea, as well as cinchona. Th. 'nB tha Mttoona t Intervals. elnchona failed, but th. tea and coffee suo- '" V ceeded, and eventually plantations of this -,K Malar Women, kind will be set out. I have already writ- Tnes Malay", like our Moros, r Mtx ten as to rubber. Many of the new plan- n"nois. They study th. Koran. keer tatlons are of para trees, which begin to ean' and lf ther afford It hare) yield a profit of $100 per acre per annum at "vJ'al wlvea- Th tf-'is re especially fin. seven years and which should produce $J00 look,nr They have light brown skins, per acre at fourteen years. It is estimated haJr and bea"U'ul yes. TheiF that when the trees are 20 years old the oroflts win h. rm n. n.. tree, grow well and yield abundantly At 19 year. old. one recently rave tw.ntv.flv .... pounds of rubber at a single tapping. That tree was ninety feet high, and nt three feet from the ground it had a girth of elghty-elght feet. At present the planters find It har.i in r.t laborers. The Malays are not anxious to ... . .... r ........ wa v llltlivi O CI lUJIIUO been neceamiry to go to India to find work- -ui, mo nuire axe miners ana it has man tnr h ni.ni.ii... rrt i , . here In large numbers and seem to thrive. Drones of the Orleut. Indeed. I doubt whether any clviliza- tlor. Will malra tha e.Hl.h! . lndlMrtriou. man. Thl, Is true of the Philip- Dlnc.. and vou will find faw ,..v among the Malays of the straits nettlements of the Dutch East Indies. These people do . v.u . ..... . ..... and rust iT T.7Z 1, enough to suonort l fa tV V-- n "3 . . " . ' . . " style and to give a feast when their chll- dren are married. Their needs are few. and when supplied they lay off until want c ... . ... comes. Some of the rulers tall me thev cannot get their own subjects to work their I ........ i . .. ... wn ..,hi ,..,, .v.-... iniuunuunB ana ui. suitan or joiiorp. whn governs the state of the mainland ODDoslte Sources for Sundav cession. " 'Hold on, gentlemen; this won't do,' h. said sternly. 'Where Is the sixth pall bearer?' " 'He's upstairs,' another pallbearer ex Plained, 'proposing to th. wldder.' "New York Times. Dellarhtfal Limelight Man. Forbes Robertson, at a dlhner in New York, praised the American critical sense. "But," be said, sighing, "Isn't your crit icism in Its clarity and directness too cruel sometimes? "I remember a brother actor who played on. night In a .mall western town. At the climax of th. third act of hi. play th. limelight wa. always thrown upon him. In this town, however, the lime light man shot th. light nln. or ten feet to th. left and lt was from the blackest shadow that my friend had to make hi. best speech. "Naturally, at the end of the act he In dignantly asked the limelight man why the deuce the light hadn't been thrown where it belonged. " 'Fly In the way,' the limelight man answered, biting a chew from a plug of tobacco. " 'Why didn't you move the fly, then? shouted my friend. " The limelight man rolled his tobacco to the other cheek, looked at my friend dreamily and drawled as he turned on his heel: " 'If y. could set, I guess ye wouldn't wsnt no limelight.' "St. Louis Ulobe Democrat. For Fetched. George F. Martin, the tobacco expert, said, as h lit a Havana cigar: "W. Americans should b. thankful for our tobacco. It Is the best and th. cheapest In th. world. I hav. Just re turned from London, and ther. I found that a shilling cigar scarcely equaled an Amsrioan nickel one. "Th. Londoners ar. Indifferent about their tobacco Indifferent and blase Ilk. an omnibus conductor I saw In Oxford D a Nation ,r"ia of bamboos or boards with thatch of ralm leaves. The average hou.. ha. nniv rn j v...,. w inn luuiiin, m 6 DOODla nt1n or sleeping where th. cooking is dons! Thai i, i ... i. - nutiini iiirnuure is an Iron can and a cocoamit lurti. ..u " for their soups and stews The bed Is a mat spread on the floor, 'and the famllv sprawl there t full length wh 1. re. Un Th8 peop'8 of th8 'n"-'or 'v. not 'un'i the poorer classes of our PhllilPDlns Is. lands, and their customs are much the same. Nearly every one chews th. betel nut. and men. women and children smok. cigarettes and cigars. I have seen clrls of five and sir with .V.I mouths, and the babies are taught to smoke by the time they are able to crawl As to the betel habit, this is universal' It consists of chewing the nut of th. Arepa palm mixed with tobacco and lime As tha people chew they .pit. and their saliva is the color of blood. The habit turns the teeth Muck, swells th. tongu. nd P"s out tlm lip. and makes them crack. The chewing is said to take ay hunger and fatigue, and th. habit ono. acqlred Is seldom broken. I se. old women pounding the nuts to a powder, that they mair masticate them between their tootU- ,es" """"is. The better classes have bet.! . T" " "lc""w lo e Hat. bat thel tootn Ua pearls where thv nn b8tel onw,rB' they have high for- nca0!l anJ Wd faces. Many hav. small ven'mtm unA T 1 . ... """ wun square toes. They are sometimes married nt 14. hut tlle more common age Is from 17 to 20. Th parents arrange the marriages, and the wpdt,lnB" Is long, tedious and e xpenslve. edalnB' presents are usually in mnnov and it la expected that every guest will . what he can. After the marrlarn tha in.i,..j ?uentlr leve" " if with her parents ..rii monms, and then takes her home. He is expected to have one hou-o for snr-h u1fk I, i ... each of his four wlva- I,iu . V. " . . . rUr WlVM a,lk. to dlvld. ZZ f. LlTtT """T " 1,9 ? . P.' 'flPnt to "e- ,ie ought to give does tZrT'? . ther''' 'nd " he Divorce L L . w,,urc" 18 lUIte as easy In Malnvala on 'S i0"-' Mohammedan land,, but the .V - Ba 11,0 ri,fnt own """n io iree het herself from her hi,n,.a si Shn naeH nnl ,.,ni. . mav ma, i T L a"- "V" are to a wtaln im i T WOm011 iw u a ceirain extent Indcnendent Mi nf th,.m JI L r"""1. . 'r i.usoanas, and Hi some of mo states offices with salaries are given 1. iTf.. 01 tno cou'-t -, HA NIC G. CARPENTEJnV T street. You know the London omnibus. It Is a double-decker. If you .ft h.,n top you must go up and down by a Jvry teep stair. "Well, tills blase conductor pulled up his bus at Regent circus, and th. ladle, bound for Peter Robinson's eagerly got out. But one fat lady, who had been sit ting on top, came down the steep and winding stair very slowly. Her skirt flapped around her ankles, and at every step she stopped and thrust It carefully down. The conductor waited with a bored expression, his hand on the bell rope, but he kwt patience when the fat lady stopped for the fifth or sixth time to thrust down her billowing skirt, and he burst out ea gorly: " 'Now, then, lydy, 'uny, cahn't yout Figgers ain't no treat to me.' "Minneap olis Journal. An Unseen Bounce. A certain Episcopal clergyman In West Philadelphia received a most Inhospitable reception the other night when he went to call on a member of his vestry. The vestry man In question was alone In the house, the servants being out. when he heard a ring t the bell. Going down stairs he found an Intoxicated negro, who demanded money for a drink. Highly incensed, the vestryman went back upstairs, after ordering tha man away, but hardly had he stated him self when the bell rang for a second time. A second visit to the door found the same negro back again, and the vestryman, thor oughly aroused, seUed the offender by the shoulder and pushed his down tie steps. While all this was going on the clergy man was walking down the street, and a fnw minutes later had mounted the s!m of his vestryman', house and runtf tV bell. He .toad with his back to tbe cixj, when suddenly, to his astonishment, th. portal flew open, a man rushed out and he received a most painful kick, sending him flying down the slippery steps. jt required a lot of explanation and apology to close th. breach caused by the Inoldent Th. clergyman and Ms vestryman ar. still on rather cool t.rrna. I