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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 13, 1910)
v. i' i n TTTK OMAHA SUNT)AY BEE: FEBRUARY 13, 1010. 3 V - ... a. . w r ... " rr m - w - yue Ki i .. m m m . V ' a u. 1 U '7 S II- .--VO"- T. JL . 1117 tvi SIM K WfW TREATING THE ANIMAL SICK Varied Patients at the Dispensary Just Opened. TREATMENT IS GIVEN FREE Dog a, Cain. Horses and a Parrot Are Anmi Uai'i ( r4 Shown of Such Institution to Help Pets of the I'oor. NBW YORK, Feb. 12. -You can sea at almost any time a row of men and boys and sometimes a woman or two before the wlr.dswa at !i I f u tt - street, inscribed In tcllt letters: "Dispensary for Animals. Advice and Treatment Free." The only things In the window are a couple of non slipping horseshoes adjusted to a couple of hoofs, and behind these and forming a partial screen a row of four wooden eagres with wire tops. The waiting room, cheerful with much white paint, Is furnished with a large table containing some animal literature, a couple of wooden forms and one wooden armchair ranged along one side of the wall. At the rear Is a partition shutting off the veterlnary's office. It la only since January 18, when the Woman's auxiliary of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals opened this dispensary, that New York has been on the same level In this respect as Lon don, Berlin, Dresden, Lyons, Copenhagen and other European cities, which for years have included an animal cllnto among their charities. Since 18X6 275,000 dogs alone have been treated free at the London cltnlo held In the Royal Veterinary college, and Berlin bas treated 200,000 dogs and 10,000 cats. In a measure the first free dispensary and clinic for animals In this city Is the outcome of the Work Horse parade, now an annual Memorial day affair, and the work principally of Mrs. James Speyer, president of the Woman's auxiliary. At the close of the parade 'last spring the manager of the parade told Mrs. Speyer that scores of drivers of trucks, express wagons and hucksters' carts, whom he Short Stories of Several Sorts Selected Not In It. N old darky named Mose White, A In one of the southern states, walked down the main Btreet one morning, in his best black broadcloth suit, with a white rose in his buttonhole and cotton gloves on his large hands. "Why, Mose," said the proprietor of a large store that he was passing, "are you taking a holiday" , "Dish yere," said the old man In a stately voice, "am mah golden weddln,' sah. Ah'm sallybratin' hit." . "But your wife," said the storekeeper, "Is working as usual. I saw her at the tub as I passed this morning. Why Isn't she celebrating too "Her?" said Mose, angrily. "She hain't got nuffln to do with it. She am mah fou'th." Harper's Weekly. An Invidious Inquiry. It Is related of the president ot a famous college that at one time he allowed his wlfq to persuade him of the uselessness of fire insurance c'n household goods, and he allowed his policy to lapse. But better Judgment asserting Itself, he finally re newed his Insurance. That same day a fire In his wife's rooms destroyed some of her dresses, which the professor enjoyed as a gcod Joke. . In due time the president ot the Insur ance company wrote President Blank this letter: "Dear Mr. Blank: We Inclose check for MX), paying' your fire claim under our ollcy B-6007, "I note In passing upon these papers that the policy went Into effect at noon, De cember 10, and the fire did not occur until I p. in. Why the delay?" Circle Magazine. Following: Instructions. The old broker returned and found his new office boy gating absently over the rooftops. To his horror and Indignation he found that his costly Swiss clock was missing from Its accustomed pluce In the corner. "Boy!" he demanded In thunderous tones, 'where Is my clock?" "I don't know, sir," was the calm and unruffled response. 'Dldiv't I toll you not to go out until I returned ?" 'I didn't, sir." ' Where have you been?" "PJght here, sir." "What? You mean to till me that you have been sitting right here and allowed some one to come in and steal the clock? Well, of all the numskulls I ever met you are tho limit. What excuse have you for such carelessness?" "A good one, sjr. When I first came here you told me' you didn't want a boy who would sit axound and watch the clock, so 1 haven't Iglven It a glance, sir." Kwksrrtutss for Her, A Milwaukee man end his wife ocently received a call from an old friend wliom they had not seen for years. Just before the three toil down to a little supper In the Herman style, the wife, selxlng a favorable opportunlty, whimpered to her husband: "We have only three bottles of beer In the house Just enough to go around. Don't atk him to have more " . "Very well,' answered the husband, who Chan , hi to be thinking of something eUe t ti time. i ll:t an hour later the host, to his life's Mid, V d.T, THE POOR MAN'S DOG. knew, had wished many a time that there was a place where, in an emergency, ani mals could be taken for free treatment and that in his opinion such a place was badly needed downtown. At the first fall meeting of the auxiliary Mrs. Speyer talked the matter over with the members, with the result that by the end of the year enough money was pledged to start the dis pensary In a very modest way and sup port It for one year. . The store selected for a headquarters runs through to Mulberry street. It has plenty of light at either end and it is In the heart of the heaviest trafflo and ad THE FASCINATION OF consternation, asked the guest to tane more beer. The Invitation was politely de clined, but still the host did not desist. A dozen times the caller was urged to drink; a dozen times he firmly refused. When be had departed the wife took her husband to task. "What on earth made you persist so? Didn't I tell you there were only three bottles? Why did you Insist upon his having more beer, more beer, more beer?" "Mercy!" exclaimed the husband." I forgot entirely." "But," continued the wife, "why did you suppose I was kicking you under the table?" "My dear," blandly replied the husband, "you didn't kick me" . . ... Draw Ins the Line. Ellhu Root, at the annual dinner of the International Young Men's Christian as sociation In New York last month, said that evil (courses were more difficult to conceal than men generally believed, "Take the case," said Mr. Root, with a smile, "of old John Bodewin. John was a lawyer's confidential clerk, and he had the pernicious habit of going to a neigh boring saloon every morning at 11 and taking a small glass of whisky. He was not proud of this habit; hence, after th whisky, he always took a clove. ( "But one morning It happened that there were no cloves on the bar, and John, hav ing considered the matter, swallowed a small raw onion from the free-lunch tray. That would destroy the tell-tale whisky odor, no doubt, as well as the clove had always done, and, so thinking, he returned to his desk. "It was a double desk. At it he and his employer sat face to face. John, on his return, was soon aware that his employer noticed something. The man's nostrils aulvered. he sniffed, and finally, with a ! JC'lmace ot dlsfiust, he broke out: 'Look here, John; I've stood whisky and clove for nineteen years, but I draw the line at whisky and onjon." Women Workers. In Italy women ,may not work more than twelve hours. In Holland and Austria and Switzerland not more than eleven. In Ger many and France not more than ten. South Australia prohibits more than forty eight hours a week or ten in any one day. In America, says the Survey, we began at ten hours, in Massachusetts in 1874, and that standard has been adopted In most of the states which have enat'ted similar laws, though Michigan and Missouri last year established a fifty-four-hour week for most of their working women and the Missouri law allows no more then nine hours In any one day snd no work be tween 10 at night and & In the morning. 'Jadlrlal II amor. -Like many of his culleagues on the su preme court bench, ex-Justice Charles H. iTruax, who died In Now York City recently, though atcrn and dignified, had a fine sense of humor, which ho occasionally Indulged in court at the expense of a lawyer or l.ll- Igant. The story is told ot a rase In which Juntlte Truax heard argument. After lis tening to the opposing lawyers the Justice gave his decision In favor of one of them, ho. apparently elated over his victory, broke forth fn fervid srguim-nt, giving further res-ions why he ai entitled to the deUslun. Justice Truss listened to the jacent to a thickly populated territory Paid one of the veterlnaries In chars.: "At the London clinic cows and monkey are often among the esses treated, but 1 don't suppose there is such a thing as a cow in Manhattan." This man was graduated from the T.ond-m college, where the course is four years Instead of three years as In this country, and his specialty la dogs and cat. These lie treats at the dispensary, alo performing minor operations, from 10 to 12 snd 3 to 8. Major operations, requiring subsequent hos pital care, are sent to the at;lma! hospital In connection with the department of opera tive surgery of Cornell University Medical college In Twenty-sixth street, where they get expert care free of rhnrRe. A United States government veterinary Inspector donates his time from 12 to 1 o'clock to treating horse brought to the dispensary or giving advice to owners of sick horses and he lends one of his nsnis tants for a couple of hours, morning ind afternoon. Of the from fourteen to twenty enses treated dally since the dispenxary was opened two-thirds are dogs and cats and there are about six dogs to every cat. Among the men who come at the noon hour are hucksters and truckmen who own one horse which they work on their own account and which may be ailing in the stable or too 111 to do Its ordinary work. Most of these men can't afford to call In a veterinary and before the dis pensary as opened they had to depend on home made remedies. Now they come and tell symptoms to an expert, who can then Judge pretty nearly what the trouble is. SOMETHING FOR NOTHING. end, and then, addressing the talkative lawyer, said sternly: "Notwithstanding what you have Just said In your supple mentary argument, I am still inclined to decide In your favor." Justice Lnrton and Lincoln. Some months ago, relates the Philadel phia Ledger, a company of representative men living In the mid-west were the guests of Judge Henry S. -Severns, an assoolate circuit Judge of the Sixth Judicial district, with Judge Lurton. The gathering took place at Grand Rapids, Mich., and In the course of the evening Judge Severns said to his friends that he had a little anecdote to tel! them which might prove of Interest to them. He said: "A youth of 17 years of age, whose home Was In Tennessee, en listed in the confederate army and took part In several of the Important battles that were waged In eastern Tennessee and northern Georgia. In one of these battles he was captured and sent to the federal prison at Sandusky, O. His mother waa distracted. In ways known only to her Gossip and Cardinal Katolll and the Gridiron. ARLY in his experience as apos- y I tolio delegate at Washington, 4. I the late Cardinal Satolll was dinners of the Gridiron club, an organization of Washington cor- respondents. The rule of the club forbids reporting speeches delivered at the dlnnera The bidden guest was not aware of the rule and prepared an address explanatory of the object of his mission, about Vhlch there was much public curiosity. He pre pared a careful statement ot the purpose of his mission, attended the dinner, and, as he spoke no English, had the speech read by his secretary, Mgr. Rooker. It wss a speech of about twenty-five minutes in duration. A copy of it had been given to 'the As sociated Press for distribution to the news papers of the country. The situation waa still more humorously complicated by the fact that not a single representative of the Associated Press was then a member of the club, while the United Press, its rival, was represented by P. V. De Graw, now fourth assistant postmaster general. The Associated Press, aware of the con fidential nature of the dinner, was In a quandry. So was De Grew. So was the club. And so, if he had only" known It, was the' papal delegste. There was a hur ried conference, and the president of the club privately called a meeting ot the ex ecutive committee. The members of that committee hastily adjourned to a side room, held a hurry-up meeting, passed a resolu tion suspending the rule for this occasion and this speech only, telephoned a "re lease" to the Associated Press, and re turned to their places at the tables with nobody but themselves tlis wlsr. A ropy was given by tho Associated I'ress to the United Press, and ttie newspapers of the country got Satolli'a siteech. He never knew his mistake. Colonel Jack t b?u In New Hole. "My old friend and fello -countrj man, Colonel Jack Chlnn, has introduced a aauie- Occasionally as In the esse of a pictur esque and very poor Italian, the specialist explains that the sooner a horss that has been down a week with the symptoma de scribed Is put out of psln the better. It is the chespest wsy out of the trouble, the .-ran Is ssfurrd, snd, of course, the cheap est way Is the only way to be considered In cases like these. Hig, poweifnl animals which have met with a slight accident are halted before the dispensary and treatment Is sought for them. One old sorrel horse waa brought from Thirteenth street for examination and Its owner was sent away with medi cine In his pocket and a pleased grin. A decrepit looking nsg drawing an empty express wagon pulls up and the negro driver comes In to say: "Tears lak ho onn't go, boss." The veterlnary's face looks stern till he hears the man's story. "Whose horsee Is that?" he a.Us. "Mine." soys fhe negro. "I done bought him las' week fo" i0." This lth an air ot pride. The veterinary looks the I o se over, explains some things to the nemo, give him iiis card and sends him aay wiser than when he came. "That man Is 1he victim of a gyp," the veterinary remarks as the sorry turnout crawls out of sigh;. "The n'gro admits that he took the horse on his looks as he stood In the stable, glad to get him for the money. "What's a gyp? Well, he's a dealer In i cheap horses hoe merits or demerits customers can find out for themselves, and most of the men who buy the hor.-es are such fools that they never make the least attempt to find out what a horse Is like till they have pld the cash. "I know the man the negro got the nag from alnd I have sent him word that he must do better by the negro or else get more notoriety than he likes. Perhaps it may do some good, perhaps rot. The negro bought the horse with his eyes open. "There are almost as many gyps around as there are poor horseffhoers," the vet erinary adds, as he goes out to see what alts a horse limping painfully up to the curb. "As I expected," he said afterward, "that was a case of a shoe nail being driven too close to the flesR; which started an Inflammation sure to lame any horse and which can't be helped much till the shoe comes off. I have had wm like that which needed a month's treatment to cure. "There Is more cruelty to horses In horeesholng than Is dreamed of. Even the best of the horse shoers Jjj this city are .none too good, and the average black smith who shoes the poor man's one horse which must be worked six days in the week if his owner would make a living Is about the most incompetent workman I know of. About, nine out of every ten cases of lameness I treat are due to poor shoeing. J "During the recent slippery weather we loaned a good many pairs of . non-slipping horseshoes to help fallen horses on their feet and to help others up a hill. Yes, they help a good deal going up hill. "A feature which shows how much the dlRpensary is appreciated In the willing ness, the eagerness, I may say, of some poor men to pay a little, for the help they get. Not quite understanding the object of the place and not knowing much Eng lish they pull out a nickel or two or a dlmo and offer it." As a general thing the cat and dog speci alist has the liveliest part of the program, especially after school hours, which Is the busiest time at the dispensary. Some times business comes with a rush, again there are long, quiet lapses. "Probably," said the veterinary, "when the neighborhood learns about the place I shall not have much spare time. At pres ent persons living miles away know more self she was able to penetrate to the union lines, and at last found herself In Wash ington, determined to have a personal In terview with Lincoln. "What could she do there, a friendless and obscure woman, whose family had espoused the confederate cause? But she found the wsy to meet President Lincoln and to have an Interview with him. A'.l that she asked of him was that he re store her boy to her, permit her to go to the federal prison with an order for his release. And Lincoln gave her that order. She went to Sandusky, presented the order to the commandant, and speedily her boy was with her, free and on tacit parole. "And there he now sits," said Judge Severns, pointing toward Judge Lurton. Not one of those present know of this in cident excepting Judge Lurton and Judge Beverns. But the anecdote as then told by Judge Severns was recalled, after It became known that President Taft waa considering the appointment of Judge Lur ton as a member of the supreme court bench. And now that this appointment Stories About Noted People what singular, but meritorious, bill in the Kentucky legislature, of which he is an Illustrious member," said Judge Nat Crutchfleld of Louisville, Ky., quoted by the Baltimore American. "Colonel Chlnn, in times past, has been regarded as a too-ready scrapper. Impetu ous by nature and prone to substitute blows for argument, he has been the hero ot many an exciting mixup. In the lobby of a Chicago hotel, at a national democratic convention, he got Into a dispute with some Tammany Hall braves, and It required alx of the huskiest men from the wigwam to convince him that he waa in error, and even then he put three of his foes hors de combat The others beat up the doughty colonel considerably, but they couldn't make him holler. "Now, in the evening .of his active and adventurous existence. Colonel Chlnn Is wholly for peace. His big bowl knife re poses at the bottom of his well, and long since he gave away hla darling ivory-handled six-shooter. "Realizing the unnumbered tragedies and widespread woe that the pistol habit has caused In his state snd all over the south, Colonel Chlnn has framed and Introduced a bill which sdjudges any man caught with a revolver on hJs person to be a lunatic, and prescribed a penalty of one year's con finement in a lunatto asylum. The sen tence must stand for a year, as the bill expressly states that no doctor can be called In during that period for the purpose of saying that the prisoner Is sane. "Probably the maasure will never become a law, but It Is certainly a move in the right direction, and If It were enacted might go a long way toward breaking up the most vicious and detestable custom ot the age." Blue Jeans Williams. Adlal Stevenson, lu Ills recent book, tells ef his first meeting with Blue Jeans Wil liams of Indiana and gives a sample of Williams' demand for economy id the mat ter of towels: While a passenger on a train to Wash about us than the population living right at hand." As If to bear out this statement a woman brth!ea from carrying a heavy la.ket. and who lived In Yonkers, she said, walked In. In the basket was a big yellow cat who had swallowed a nedle and thread. The woman told with satisfaction how she had eluded the vigilance of the sub way guards, who frown on feline psssen gers, even In baskets, and then with tears In her eyes of, the rat's sufferings. The veterinary did not find the needle, not having an X-ray apparatus, but he did find that pussy's throat was very murh Inflamed from needle scratches. Both the cat and Ms mistress were happier when they left. "Oh, not at all," the veterinary answered when asked If this was not an unusual esse. "Csts often swsllow needles, which sometimes slip down without giving much trouble and sgaln lacerate the throat pretty badly," The next patient waa the victim of a cat. He was a good looking bullterrler In the care of a small boy and girl, who held on to his leash with a determined, purt us If you dare expression not to be mis taken. The dog. who held his head down In a shamefaced fashion, had an ugly cut ncross one cheek. The girl, who spoke better English than the boy, told the veterinary Indignantly that heV dog was no fighter. No Indeed. He was the most amiable of dogs, always ' excepting when he saw a cat. Then- well, yes. he always chased cat.", and this morning the cat turned and did her worst, which was pretty bad for the dog. A respectable middle sged female Bos ton terrier was brought In by a hard work ing careworn German woman, who told how long she had the animal and what an Important member of the family It was. She fondled the dog as she would a baby. "Could the veterlnsry make It well?" she asked anxiously. The dog had dropsy, she was told, which an operation would relieve, but probably she would never be quite well again. Yes, he would do the best he could and she must bring the dog in again day after to morrow. A stolid looking Italian workman ap peared at the noon hour with a small fox terrier pup in his arms. He had picked the animal up In the street one day, given It a home, grown fond of it and now wanted to make It well. "A bsd case of mange," ,he was told, "but curable. Don't forget to corns back Thursday for more medicine," called the veterinary after him, and the man wont out looking as if he had found a gold piece. "Skin diseases head the list of dog dis orders treated here and broken bones come next," said the veterinary. "Ugh," screamed a raucous voice, and the surprised veterinary turaed to find a big green parrot at his elbow, who re turned his good natured smile with an in dignant glance. Said the young girl who brought the bird: "We think an awful lot of him because Kmy brother brought him from Panama, lie's awful smart and he used to be awful handsome." "What have you been feeding him?" asked the veterinary looking at the ragged plumage. Just about what the family ate, including beef and bologna sausage, he was In formed. "The simple life for you for a while, Mr. Psrrot," the veterinary pronounced, and "Ugh!" screamed the bird derisively as he was carried out. "This isn't a bird store, but we don't refuse to help anything In the bird of beast line that comes along," commented the veterinary. In the wake of the parrot was a tall man who asked might he bring a collie the next day to be treated, and could the dog Specially has been made. It will be possible for Judge Lurton to say to his associates upon that bench: "I was a prisoner of war in the federal prison; I was released by the personal order of President Lincoln, and upon the plea of my mother, and by reason of that release I was able to keep up the study of law and procure admission to the bar, e!se I should not now be here." Saw Tblnga and Shot 'Em.. Sir William Henry Perkins, the Inven tor of many coal-tar dyes, was talking in New York before he sailed for England about the Psychical Research society. - "Crookes and some other scientists go In for physical research," he said, though I confess that to me the subject makes no great appeal. "Personally I have come in contact dur ing a fairly long career with but one ghost story. Its hero was a man whom I'll call Snooks. "Snooks, visiting at a country house, was put In the haunted chamber for the ington to be present at the opening of congress my attention was directed to a man of venerable appearance who entered the sleeping car at a station not many mllea out from Cincinnati. Ha was dressed In "Kentucky Jeans" and had the appear ance of a well-to-do farmer. Standing in the aisle near me, he was soon engaged in earnest conversation with the porter, en deavoring to secure a berth. The porter repeatedly assurred him that this was im possible, as every berth was taken. He told the porter that he was quite ill and must get on his journey. I then proposed that ha share my berth for the night. He gladly did so until other accommodations were provided. On the Monday following, when the house ass In process of organization, the name of James D. Williams ot Indiana being oalled, my sleeping car acquaintance, still attired in blue Jeans, stepped forward with hla oolleaguea to the speaker's desk and waa duly sworn In as a member of con gress. This was bis first term, but he soon became quite well known to the cointry. As chairman of the committee ot accounts, having to do with email ex penditures, he closely scrutinised every claim presented, and acalsd to the loweel many pet measures. His determination to economise, ss well as his peculiarity of dress and appearance, soon made him an especial object of amusement to newspaper correspondents. He waa the butt of many cheap Jokes, one being his allegtd coin plsint that hundreds of towels were being dally used by members at the capitol at the putlio expense, while at his home on his farm one towel would la-it a week, with eleven In the family. Despite, however, all Jokes and gibes, he soon b esme ths must, popular man In hla state." "Blue Jcstis Williams" became a name to conjure with, snd In the celebrated campalga of ItTti. after sn exciting contest, ho was elected governor, defeating an able and popular loader, who twelve years later -was himself elected president of the United Stales. r ft Wi ll i i ft. r i i "IT SEEM LAK stay there for a week? "You may bring the dog for treatment, but we cannot keep dogs here," was the answer. "The cages lit the window are merely provided for dogs who may have to be sent to the gas tank and are waiting to go." "What surprises me most down here Is the l'cmarKabie love of poor uerinans for domestic pets," the veterinary mused as the door closed behind a German woman who brought an ailing cat to bo looked over. "The poorer the man or woman the greater the devotion to dog or cat. Their gratitude when a pet Is made well is so very genuine that it does one good to see it." BEING TREATED FOR for Sunday Service night. He said he felt no uneasiness; nev ertheless, he took to bed with him a re volver of the latest American pattern. "He fell asleep without difficulty, but as the clock was striking 2 he awoke with a strange feeling of oppression. "Lifting his head, he peered about him. The room was wanly Illuminated by the full moon, and In that weird, bluish light he saw a small hand clasping the trail at the foot of the bed. " 'Who's there?' he demanded, tremul ously. "There was no reply. The hand did not move. " 'Who's there?' said Snooks again. 'An swer or I'll shoot.' "Again there was no reply, and Snooks sat up cautiously, took careful aim and fired. "He limped from that night on, for he shot oft two of his own toes." HardLnck. The latest hard luck story Is charged to Nebraska. A young woman waa upstairs in a country hotel, fixing herself up tor her marriage, while the bridegroom and the preacher waited In the parlor down stairs. After fussing with curling Irons and such things for about two hours, she was finally ready, and atarted down. She stumbled on the top step, and took a header the rest of the way and landed at the foot with a broken arm and her face bruised beyond recognition. The bride groom waa a hsrolu soul, and when the village doctor had done his best, the wed ding went ahead. General Mahoue's Great Risk. General Adelbert R. Bufflngton, at a dinner in Madison, N. J., told a number of civil war stories. "General Mahone," he said, "was very thin. One cold and windy December morn ing In 1864 he was taking a nap in. his tent when his old colored servant. Uncle Davy, tiptoed in, and, stumbling In the darkness, knocked down the general's folding cot and spilled him out on the frozen ground. "General Mahone jumped up furiously, seized a scabbard and made for Davy. Davy ran. The general gave chase. "Uncle Davy tore up hill and down dale until he waa pretty well out of breath; then he looked back over his shoulder at hla master, who bounded after him on slender limbs, blue and thin, his long, white nightshirt fluttering In the chill morning. " 'Fo de lau's suite, Mars' William,' the exhausted Davy yelled, desperately, 'you' hain't trustln yo's'f in dls wind on dem legs, is yo'?' "Cincinnati Enquirer. e Animal Vanity. According to a story told by former Governor Stokes of New Jersey, s. a re cent banquet, vanity Is not confined ex clusively to the female sex of the human species. In a small town over In Jersey, Mr. Stokes said, there is corner grocery where you nuy buy anything from a twenty foot ladder to a pearl necklace. Adhesive plaster, sauer kraut and toilet articles are also sold, and In case of ne cessity yon may ;gct a haircut or a horse shod In the back yard. Home time since a farmer stopped In the store to get somo horse1 liniment to rub the rheumatism out of a sick cow, and two or .HE CAN'T GO." At the next case, that of u bUck dog the specialist looked grave. "He was run over," said the owner, a hard working woman with a shawl over her hald. "But he was run over once al ready and got well," this very pleadingly "I'm afr?aid he's done for this time." the veterinary said gently. "Both front legs are crushed. llu will iiever ni'li again." . The woman went out without tho dog, .who whs resting comfortably In the basket in which he would make tho Journey to the gas tank. As his mistress closed the street door softly behind her and started back to her work sho drew the back of her hand across her wet eyes. THREAD AND NEEDLE, three days later he came bock with a life sized kick. "Look here, Abner," he complalnlngly re marked, "I wish ye would be a leetle might more keerful how ye throw yerself back o' thet counter. T'other day ye gave me cologne Instead o hoBs liniment, and gash dast If I didn't put It on thet sick cow afore I found out what it was. "It didn't hurt her any, did It?" broke In the grooeryman. "Can't say that It did," answered the farmer, "but ever sence she has had thet sweet smellln' stuff on her, she hain't done a demed thing but jes' look at her reflec tion in thcr duck pond an' sigh. Yoongr Goormnaads. Rev. H. J. Ingils, at a newsboys' Christ mas dinner In Denver, amused his young audience with some strlnklng instances of overfeeding. "At a Christmas dinner," he said, " I once, pressed a third piece of pie on a lad, who thought a moment, then nooded and said: " 'I guess I can manage it if I stand up.' "Another lad at this ssme dinner ate so much that he couldn't walk. When It was decided that ha would have to be carried out, he Issued the warning: " 'All right, carry me; but don't bend me.' "I aaked a third lad, as the fruit and nuts came on, If he had made a good din ner. " 'No, air,' he answered, pressing his band to hla stomach; "It don't hurt yet.' " Andrew t"arnele' Joke, Andrew Carnegie tella this one anent bis recent fall In Central park: "A self-made I know waa talking to a minister., The topic was, of course, his own success in business. " 'Yes, doctor,' said he, 'I began life aa a bare-footed newsboy. At 10 I was worth 18,000. I was a millionaire at 32. And yst everybody was against me. I achieved success single handed and by my own ef forts.' "Here the self-made man remembered that In conversation with a minister he ought to adopt a somewhat more humble tone, so he hastened to add: " 'Of course, I don't deny the Providence, now and then, may have had something to do with it." "New York Sun. Kconomy. The Rev. William II. Leslie, a Congo tnjairionary, was talking- In the saloon of the Vatsrland about a mean Belgian ivory trader. "The man waa so mean," said Mr. Leslie, "that I can only compare him with Saun ders MacPherson of Peebles. "Saunders visited his rich oousln; Frazer, In New York, staying seven months. Frazer one day led him Into a cigar shop, saying: " 'Come In and have a clar, Candy.' "Fraser bought two 10-cent clicars, gave one to Saunders, and proceeded to light up. As he did so, Saunders said to ths salesman: " These clgsrs sell at three for a quar ter, I believe? " 'Yet, sir,' said the salesman. " 'Then,' said Saunders, laying down a nickel and at the same time opening hla tigsr case, 'I'll take the third one. If you please.' "New York Tliuoa. I