Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, January 02, 1910, EDITORIAL, Page 4, Image 12

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    TIIK OMAHA SUNDAY HKE: JANUARY 2. 1910.
B
The Omaha Sunday Ite
FOUNDED IJV F.DWAUD ROKKWATKK.
VICTOR R .l, ATi;it. F.DIToK.
Entered at Omslia pnstoffke as second
class matter.
terms of sc inscription.
3 1 1 v Pee (ln hiding Sunday), per week Vi
Daily Ho (without Holiday!, per week 10c
Dally Re without 8unday, one year M OO
Dally Bee and Sutvlav, one year 600
liKI.IVKIIK.HRV CARRIER.
Kvenlng pf (without Sunday), per wfk Br
Evening- Hep (with Sunday), per week 10c
Sunday H, one year t-ffl
Matiirdny Hoe. one year l.ft
Address all complaints of Irregularities In
delivery to City Circulation D -partmrnt.
OFFICES.
Omaha The Hee Building.
Houth Omsha Twentv-fonrth and N.
Council Bluffs- 15 Scott Street.
Lincoln 61S Little I (wild i ri r.
lilcago Marquette Huildlng.
New Vork Krmmii 1101-10J No. 34 Went
Thirty-third Street.
Washington 72i Fourteenth Street, N W.
correspon pent k.
Communications relating to news and ed
itorial rriatt-r should be addressed: Omaha
Hoe, Editorial Department.
REMITTANCES.
Remit by draft, express or postal order
pHvahlo to The Bee Publishing Company,
(inly 2-c.ent stsmps received In payment of
mall accounts, Personal cheeks, except fin
Ornalia or eastern exchanges, not accepted.
STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION.
Slate of Nebraska. Douglas County, .:
George- B. Tzschuck, treasurer of The
Re )ii tl 1 eli In k Company, being duly
sworn, says that the. actual number of full
and complete copies of The Pally, Morn
ing", Evening and Sunday Hee printed dur
ing the month of December, 1909, was as
follows:
1 41,830 17 ,
41,780 18
3 ... 41,880 19
4 41,790 90
8 46.340 91
0 43,930 93
7 41,670 93
43,860 94
9 43,830 96
10 43,860 96
11 43,660 97
19 41,080 98
13 44.980 89
14 43,470 30
IB 43,800 31
16 43,430
43,630
43,930
41,630
43,770
43,480
43.680
43,480
43,530
43,600
44,680
43,610
43,930
43,370
49,410
43,490
Total 1,333,610
Returned copies 10,130
Net Total 1,313,380
Iaily Average 49,334
'KOltOK H. TSWCHITCK, Treasurer.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn to
before me this 31st day of December, lyoa.
VV". P. WALKER.
Notary Public.
ahacrlbera leaving; the city tem
orarllj ahonld have The Bee
mailed to them. Address will be
'asjed as often as requested.
Making dates Is no easy matter,
theo days. Can you jet write it 1910?
The brave resolutlonlst has set no
8 o'clock limit on the travels of the
water wagon.
Talk of reviving the dead, here's
Kansas striving to make a live issue
out of the cemetery trust.
The question of what Is whisky
seems to have been settled, but the de
bate as to why It Is is still on.
If the stock market reformers suc
ceed in their plans, future gambling
will become a thing of the past.
Wheat took a tumble as the markets
closed for the year, but unlike Humpty
Dumpty it is able to get up again.
Those strange lights in the night sky
or Worcester, Mass., are now reported
as visible at Rye, N. Y. Note the name.
In the pathway toward a year of
happiness, it is well to remember that
being a good fellow is not necessarily
being good.
New Yorkers are launching a new
party to fight Tammany. Why? The
late returns were that Tammany was
knocked out.
The voice of peace In the switch
men's strike must either have an im
pediment -of speech or else has fallen
upon deaf ears.
Poiuologlsts may look to the Man
hattan orchards for a record plum crop
as soon as Mr. Gaynor gets ready to
shake the branches.
Dr. Eliot having vindicated his legal
title to the five-foot bookshelf, he can
afford to thank his discomfited rivals
for their advertising.
A Massachusetts mayor named
IVhlte refuses to write the usual mes
sages. He' evidently draws the color
line against black and white.
New York is to have a theater which
will be roofless in summer time. That
will let the high jinks of Manhattan
effervesce without raising the rafters.
Mr. Wu, the original He-want ed-to-know,
promises to return to America
iu fifty years. By that time he will
have discovered some more questions
to ask.
While the last year was a banner
one in the sale of diamonds to Ameri
cans, the new year will determine
whether the diamonds or the hearts
they won are trumps.
Mascagni, rendering Tennyson's
"Godlva" Into opera, changes the lady's
name to "Ysobel," which seems a note
as false as the hair she will wear, and
Is taking more unwarranted liberties
than were attempted by Peeptng Tom.
Will the woman whose husband has
no snow shovel kindly favor him with
a thougUful gift when she runs out to
the bargain sales this week? The un
ckaned sidewalk is not provocative of
perpetuation of the pledge against pro
fanity. The unanimous wall from American
titles would lead one to believe that
the satisfactory street car system Is as
bard to discover as the honest mau for
whom Diogenes sought. When an
American city is s'llsfled with its
treet car service, it will be when tt
ceased to grow, .
A Lesson in Economics.
President Lowell of Harvard gave
uttranrr? to some thoughts concerning
economies, during he week, which af
ford a lesson to the voter at Urge, In
every walk of life. Many a careless citi
zen shies at the word economics, but if
F.uch an one will but give heed to Frof.
Lowell's clear-cut definition of It
as the one study In the natural
sciences which Is simple In Its pur
poses, which no nomenclature beyond
the Intelligence of the ordinary man
to comprehend, and constricted solely
to the topic of the government of man
and the things man uses for his com
fort, he will find that nothing else so
closely concerns him.
President lowell diHcloses a faith
hat politics Is not so hopelessly evil
as the reformer would claim. Indeed,
the reformer comes in for some caustic
comment on the part of the Harvard
president, who compares hi in to a
woodpecker striving loudly for a whole
day to drill a hole In a copper gutter
pipe. He concludes that all reform
movements need ndvlce from people
who are thoroughly familiar with the
actual workings of political institu
tion Reformers, he adds, are too
prone to believe that they have a
panacea that will change humanity,
whereas man Is likely to remain as he
was before he tried their scheme, some
good, some bad, nnd the mass Indiffer
ent to matters which do not touch their
personal interests.
President Lowell well says that the
library Is not the laboratory of politi
cal science. In the outside world the
phenomena of politics must be sought,
and the student of politics derives In
calculable benefit from a personal fa
miliarity with public life. Good people
who stand aghast at the methods em
ployed In public life which they them
selves commonly employ In more pri
vate affairs, are berated by Dr. Lowell,
who admits that things are inevitable
and legitimate In party organization
which the rabid reformer falls so to dis
tinguish from things which are repre
hensible. And those who rail at a politi
cal machine of any kind do not hesitate
to conduct with great complacency a
little machine of their own in some so
ciety. Frequently politics Is not so
heated in a state central committee as
It is in a sewing circle. These and simi
lar thliigs Dr. Lowell is free to admit,
and his practical view of the necessi
ties and virtues of established politics
as contrasted with some of the
impracticabilities, Injustices and ac
tual wrongs committed In the name of
reform, afford interesting reflections
for the thoughtful, as well as for the
casual voter.
Revival of Waterways.
We seem not to be the only nation
that is turning seriously to the an
cient rivers for solution of the vexed
problem of transportation. Wrhlle we
are projecting deeper waterways that
shall restore the commerce of the Mis
souri, the Mississippi and the Ohio,
France is In the thick of a campaign
to make the Loire navigable from
source to mouth. This is the longest
river in that country, and penetrates
the very heart of France, putting a
wide region of vineyards, collieries,
quarries, forests and factories in di
rect communication with the Atlantic
by means of a series of canals which
accommodates only shallow craft and
which has long since become Inade
quate to convey the commerce or to de
velop the industries of the inland
country to the proportions deemed pos
sible. ,
Having determined that the Loire
must be made over as a deep and per
manent channel for modern vessels,
the French have gone Into the project
with their characteristic spontaneous
enthusiastic, and are planning for the
removal of a series of islands from the
river, excavation of sandbars by whole
sale, the wattling of the banks to guard
against the washings of the floods, and
the dredging out "and walling in of
some 600 miles of bed, at an expense
running into vast millions.
When the experience of the French
with the Panama canal is recalled,
there may be a tendency on the part of
Americans to be skeptical about this
undertaking, but it must be remem
bered that the failure of the De Lesseps
scheme was due to graft and incom
petency, and that the Panama enter
prise was far removed from the popu
lar eye, while the Loire Improvements
are going on at home under the direct
and practical charge of governmental
engineers. The special interest of the
United States in the making of the
Loire navigable lies in the fact that
this river is the direct and natural
route between America and central
Europe. Nantes, at the mouth' of the
Loire, is 124 miles nearer New York
than is Havre, and the improved Lolrp
and its canals will open up to Ameri
can trade a vast inland field now ac
cessible only by roundabout and expen
sive railroad transportation, and will
give New York an all-water route for
freight clear Into Swltierlnnd.
Befogging the Issue.
The lawyers who are taking part in
the discussion of court reforms are giv
ing the public a very illuminating ex
ample of the style of procedure that
has caused the clamor against "the
law's delay." Instead of drtving dl
rectly to the point at issue, they are
proceeding after the circumlocutory
manner that has won for the lawer a
place in literature to which no other
profession aspires. They have been be
fogging the issue by dragging in collat
eral or hypothetical points that do not
bear, except remotely, on the main
question.
One side Is attempting to lay the
blame on the favorable leaning of the
courts to wealthy men, another side
brings up the allegation that the cor
poration attorneys are responsible for
the failure of reforms, another charges
the public, itself, with failing to accept
the lawyer's advlre and so It goes.
Courts were established for the pur
pose of adjusting matters of dispute
between individuals and to enforce the
authority of organized society over its
separate members. The court does not,
or should not, at least, know, rich or
poor, corporation, firm or individual.
The law applies with equal force to all,
and one should not have any advan
tage over another in any case. Tho only
possible natural advantage a rich man
can have over the poor man is that he
can better afford to abide tho slow
moving process of the court. The cor
poration has a similar advantage, be
cause its attorneys are paid whether
they work or not, while the individual
must hire his lawyer by the job.
Tho argument does not turn on these
points. Eminent jurists and barristers
unite In statements that our court pro
cedure Is cumbersome, that many of
our methods are archaic, and that the
expedition of justice requires that cer
tain reforms be adopted. These reforms
have been suggested again and again,
but the bar associations In their local
meetings arc slow and chary to take
steps to make them effective. Instead
of clearing away to the achievement de
sired they have raised up clouds of
technicalities that advantage, neither
them or the public. Some day the re
forms will be forced. It is much better
that they should come from within.
Official Judgment Lacking.
Without In any way desiring to re
vive the lamentable and tiresome
Peary-Cook controversy, one may well
bo pardoned for inquiring whether
there is not to be an attempt made to
clinch the judgment In favor of Peary
by official verdict. As the case stands,
the University of Copenhagen reported
Cook's claim not proven, and a com
mittee from the National Geographic
society rendered judgment in favor of
Peary. Bait the National Geographic so
ciety Is not a national body, nor has it
any connection with the government.
It is purely a private organization con
sisting of some 50,000 members scat
tered through the country whose mem
bership consists of subscribing to a
magazine issued by the society. It has
no International recognition, and al
ready its standing in this country is
being cynically referred to by fellows
of the Royal Geographical society in
London, fellowship In ' which means
recognized scientific standing. The
criticism Is made that the so-called na
tional society at Washington is not a
serious-minded body of scholars repre
sentative of the nation, but that its
membership is thrown in like a trad
ing stamp as a premium for the maga
zine subscription referred to.
It can readily be estimated where
this criticism will lead among skeptics
abroad. The Idea Is bound to grow in
Europe that Peary has been proclaimed
discoverer of the pole solely by a pri
vate body which was known to be in
sympathy with him in advance, and
which actually aided In financing his
expedition. As Americans, we are in
terested In clinching our claim to the
pole. But has official Judgment con
firmed the claim so that in case
of Bubsequent polar explorations it
will not be disputed among other
nations? Peary was a representa
tive of the United States navy
w hile on his voyage. Yet our Naval ob
servatory, the most extravagantly
equipped in the world, has failed to
pass upon his case. He was on the gov
ernment's official roll, yet no depart
ment of the federal administration has
examined his proofs. Thus far the
American claim to the discovery of the
North pole rests alone upon the decis
ion of a private committee of a civilian
society, sustained by a membership
akin to the Chautauqua system. It be
gins to look as though there was sound
sense in Rear Admiral Schley's pro
posal that Peary get a verdict from
across the water. It may be found use
ful later.
The Red Man's Future.
Nineteen years ago Big Foot's de
voted band of Sioux braves made the
last stand of the Indian in armed re
sistance to the white man's govern
ment in "the United States. In the
bloody carnage of that New Year's day
at Wounded Knee was written the last
word in the chapter that had runfrom
the time white men first set foot upon
tho continent almost four centuries be
fore. With the bringing In of the
prisoners taken to the camp at Pine
Ridge began the new story of life for
the Indian.
All over the' west it has been the
same. It Is one of steady advance for
the red man in the better ways of his
white brother. The Indian has been
taught to be self-sustaining iu a coun
try where much effort is required to
achieve support. The young man who
was trained as a warrior before the
day on which Big Foot fell is now an
energetic man of affairs busy with his
farm or other occupation, while his
son, born since that day, hears no more
songs of the trail or recitations of
glories to be won In battle; or deeds 'of
daring achieved through personal
prowess, and the reward that comes
alone to him who can command it as
a follower of the trail, whether it be
the war path or the hunt. He is now
schooled in the learning of the while
man and versed In the crafts of civili
sation, and set upon his feet and tM
to stand alone in ways of peace that
were not the ways of his father.
The work baB gone beyond the ex
perimental stage and its results have
bo far been most satisfactory. Only
a little while before the fight at
Wounded Knee one perhaps better ac
quainted with the Sioux than any
other white man living or dead, s;iid:
"You may tame the Sioux Indian, but
you can no more domesticate him than
you can domesticate the Amerrrsn
eagle or the Rrizaly bear." Yet within
a generation the Sioux Indian has not
only been tamed, but he has-been do
mesticated to such a degree that the
author of the remark quo'ed has ex
pressed his surprise and confessed his
error.
What Is true of the Sioux Indian Is
true in a greater or lees degree of all
other Indians. They are being domes
ticated. Whether they will be assim
ilated or will remain a distinct rate
time onjy can tell. But the future of
the red man seems to be certain; he
will become a useful citizen.
Terrors of the Rail.
One of the penalties society pays for
civilization as life's coinptpxity devel
ops Is that It brings new terrors as
well as new blessings. New diseases
spring up and blast us in our hour of
might and new fads lie In wait to en
compass our downfall should 'we un
warily come within their reach. And
ever and anon human nature takes on
some new form, startling as a curiosity
and terrifying In its potentiality. Man,
being an imitative animal, is led into
adopting new ways, but he Is adapted
tp few, and out of this frequently
grows confusion, and occasionally dis
aster. For example, one of the highly use
ful directors of a great railway system
dined on Christmas day with the chief
ow ner of the railroad in question. As
the dinner was served nt the country
home of the railroad magnate the
menu is withheld from public Inspec
tion, but the inference Is easy that It
was a feast commensurate with the
joys of the occasion which it com
memorated. At any rate, two days
later the highly useful director, feel
ing moved to give his friends a touch
of real life, started something in Wall
street. The price of the stock jumped
more than thirty points In less than
thirty minutes and then flopped as
quickly back. This sort of exorcise
doesn't sit well with Wall street men,
especially in the "cold grey dawn of
the morning after," and inquiry as to
the cause of the strange conduct of the
stock brought out the fact that its sud
den upward swoop was merely the re
sult of a desire on the part of the man
who had been dining well to continue
the fun a little while longer.
About the same time the vice presi
dent of another railroad astonished
and delighted the employes of the de
partment under his control by notify
ing them of a considerable increase in
pay, the new salary rate to take effect
at once. After the fortunate men had
gone home and told their wives, and
while they were still receiving the con
gratulations of their friends, came the
disappointing word that the vice presi
dent whose liberality they were cele
brating had been adjudged insane and
taken to a hospital for treatment. Of
course, his order for a general Increase
In salary was declared null and void.
The mere- fact that he ordered higher
pay for the men under him was, per
haps, not taken as prima facie evidence
of his insanity.
These cases are set out as Illustra
tions of the new terrors of the rail
from which poor humanity has no re
treat. A Census of Agriculture.
On the heels of Secretary Wilson'
report of the farmer's banner year it
is edifying to review the progress In
agriculture made during the past de
cade. This will not be possible from
official sources until the government's
census of 1910 shall have been com
piled, and analyzed, and that result is
not likely to be ready for the public
for two or three years; but from the
statistics painstakingly gathered by the
staff of the Orange Judd Farmer it is
possible to glean a forecast which
seems a reasonably accurate presenta
tion of the conditions on January 1,
1910, as compared with 1900.
The increase in the number of farms
during the decade Is approximately
1,000,000, and the rise in value more
than $9,000,000,000, while the gain In
the annual value of farm products has
been nearly $3,000,000,000." The
tendency has been to cut up the large
tracts in every section intt sizeable
farms which can be worked Belong more
intensive lines, which Is a step toward
the progress urged by Secretary Wil
son, James J. Hill and other agricul
tural economists. In the central west
ern slates, including Nebraska, Iowa
and tho Dakotas, the gain in the num
ber of farms has been la per cent, the
rise In permanent values 43 per cent
and the value of the annual products
has nearly doubled. A similar show
ing Is made by the south. In the far
western and Pacific 6tates the number
and value of the farms has doubled,
while the worth of the products has
trebled. While the gain in number in
the Atlantic states has necessarily been
small, the increase of farm values
there has ranged from 13 to 34 per
cent, and the annual product has
gained in value from 67 to 71 per cent.
Stupendous totals are shown by the
north central states, including Ne
braska, Iowa and the Dakotas, besides
Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Michigan, Wis
consin, Minnesota, Mississippi and
Kansas. These states represent fully
one-half of the total Increase of the en
tire country in agricultural values, and
their aggregate assessment exceeds the
total of all the rest of the United
States. The country's entire agricul
tural rating now is estimated at
thirty billions of dollars, which is a
gain of 4 4 per cent in values since
1800.
It U-apparent from the figures at
hand that not only has the west made
prodigious strides, but also that the
tendency of the whole country han been
to turn more and more to the develop
ment of the fullest possibilities for
production of the fruits of tha soil.
This is as it should be, for as the pop
ulation has been overtaking the crops
of the country it has become necessary
for us to enlarge our productivity, and
It is manifest that the latter-day cry
of "Back to the farm" Is bearing abun
dant results and that wo are culti
vating our acres with vastly more In
telligence and application, and with
correspondingly golden harvests.
Champ Clark, who comes from what
once was the biggest mule-producing
region In the world, laments the scar
city of the' animal. He tried to blame
the tariff, but did not succeed, and Is
at a. loss to know what has become of
the ancient Missouri steed. Can it be
that the creature has been rendered
extinct through the Lincoln habit of
using it as a race horse?
Prof. Wrong of Toronto says Canada
could slip away from England without
striking a blow. Maybe Prof. Wrong
is right, but how lonely the old lady
would be with no Dominion threatened
with United States annexation to worry
about.
Cheer up, the year will not be de
void of gaiety. Zeppelin and the Prince
of Monaco are going to fly to the pole.
If they start from Monte Carlo, they
may succeed by mounting the wings of
the riches there released into flight.
The commander of the French sub
marine that dived under a sinking ship
and held It above the waves until all
on board were rescued, deserves to
be presented with a copy of Jules
Verne's complete works.
This Is the peek when, with all sails
set, the good ship, Bargain Hunter,
comes into port for the January sales.
And those who watch it close will see
that it does it early and often.
Minnesota having successfully taken
to raising lemons grafted to grapefruit,
It Is apt to lay claim to the title of the
banner state for graft.
An Overworked Nation.
Washington Post.
Having worked us for tf.O.OOO for "the
cause," T. P. O'Connor speaks truth when
he says we are "a nation of overworked
men and women."
' Grentest Is the Soil.
Chicago News.
Farms In the United States are esti
mated to bo worth $20,000,000,000. These are
figures that might make even a copper
trust envious.
Handy Tool In Emergencies.
St. Louis Globe Democrat.
Uncle Sam Is experimenting on the Mary
land coast with a 14-lnoh gun, the largest
In, the world. With such a derringer the
American marksman feels that he haa the
drop and can hold on to It.
No Shade on Ills Lights.
Houston Post.
The Omaha Bee thinks John W. Gates
may ultimately come to be known as
"Pearly Gates." No, Indeed; the dim, faint
luster of pearls could never satisfy John
W.'s liking; for luminosity. John W. either
blazes or gltmmereth not at all.
Now AVIII You Be Goodf
New York Sun.
We knew It would come; somebody was
sure to discover the fact and hummer our
heads with It. Prof. Milton Whitney, chtof
of the bureau of soils, declares that the
Increased cost of living Is due, simply, to
the fact that Americans are eating far more
than they did fifty years ago. His reason
ing Is. we gather, that Though our produc
tion of food Is very great, yet our national
appetite has grown faster still; because It
tastes good In the back of our mouths, we
sit at table and eat and cat, and gorge and
gorgo and gorge.
SERMONS BOILED DOWN.
A man Is worth only as much as makes
him useful to his day.
The only ideas that cannot be revised are
those that are dead.
It takes more than blindness to time to
give the vision of eternity.
It is always easy to be good If you can
be absolutely lonesome.
The piety that slops over in meeting sel
dom flows over Into duties.
No man Is fit for good society who does
not help society to goodness.
To refuse the friendship of conscience Is
to double the power of all your foes.
To make men good by force Is to force
out of them the dynamic of real goodness.
That Is far from being a home where you
cannot see the fumlly for the furniture.
The streets of our cities are the only
practice grounds for walking the golden
streets.
K Half tlxi buttle against real sins would
be won If we would Ignore the Imaginary
ones.
Many a preacher would revise his ser
mons on the next life If he knew more
about tills one.
No amount of anxiety to snve the folk
can make up for unwillingness to save and
serve folk.
The tendency to correct all croation Is
often mistaken for the creation of correct
character. Chicago Tribune.
Our Birthday Book
Terence V. Fontferly, once heal of the
unions of labor, is 61 today. ie was born
in Pennsylvania and came up through the
coal mines. In later years he has been in
the government service as commissioner ot
immigration.
Frederick B. Opper, who became famous
us a cartoonist on Judge, was born Jan
uary 2, 157, at Madlaon, O. Mr. Opper is
nt 111 drawing cartoons and funny plctufes
for Ntw York papers.
Francis K. Leupp, who Just retired lust
year from the position of commissioner of
Indian affairs, is celebrating his 61st birth
day. Mr. LeurP Is a native of New Vork
City, lie used to be a newspaper man, and
mado a hit with a biography of Theodore
Rooseelpt.
Edward 8. Martin, who contributes es
says and stories to literary magazines, Is
44 years old and already has a long list of
books behind him.
Dr. I. K. Summers, Jr., lis reached the
age of 42, with his reputation as a great
surgeon already made. Dr. Bumn;n is
a native Nebraakan, being born January
2, 18i8, at old Fort Kearney, where his
fathsr was stationed as an army surgeon.
"Sight
Drafts
at
Maturity'
ANCIENT HISTORY.
Some people might conclude wc had sud
denly assumed a virtue. Tp show our consis
tent record wc will publish a few letters from
old friends. Here is one:
THE OMAHA BEE
The Dee Publishing Co., Prop.
DAILY, M.i.f in Ereniflf. SUNDAY WEEKLY
E. ROSEWATER, Editor
Omaha, September 17, lDCKx
Mr. H. I). Xeely Manager.
The Equitable Life Assurance Society of the U. S.
Omaha Neb.
My Dear Sir:
I am glad to acknowledge receipt of vour Society's
check paying the claim presented to your office in Omaha,
September 2, 1900, on policies on the life of. my father, the
late Hon. Edward Hosewater.
My father's life was insured for $291,449.00 in fourteen
different companies, the largest amount in any one com
pany being held in the Equitable, and you have made good
your assertion that the Equitable would be Hie first to pay
any money to the estate.
Thanking you in behalf of all the family and executors
for the prompt manner in which you have made the set
tlement, I remain,
Yours very truly,
Another prominent business man of
Onfall a telephoned us and bought a policy for
$25,000, carrying a premium in excess of $1,000.
The Equitable
Life Assurance Society
Of the United States.
PAUL MORTON, President '
"Strongest in the World'
H. D. NEELY, Manager.
Merchants National
SECULAR SHOTS AT PULPIT.
Chicago Record-Herald: An Ohio preacher
wants a divorce because his wife calls his
sermons rot'. She would probably think bet
ter of them If his salary were higher than
it Is.
Charleston News and Courier: We quite
agree with the Pennsylvania minister who
declares that the good wife Is man's
superior by 90 per cent, and we may add
that lucky indeed Is th man who can get
the other 10 per cent entirely for his own
use.
Philadelphia Ledger: Ministers have
been giving much advice lately as to the
selection of wives. Common observation,
however, promotes the belief that the' min
ister who picks a good one for himself not
only has been lucky, but in the matter of
selecUon performed his whole duty.
San Francisco Chronicle: The late King
Leopold's deathbed was so edifying from
a church point of view ns to indicate that
his majesty was in the inood of the colored
brother, who with his last breath thanked
Ood that, though he had broken all the
commandments, he had his 'llglon left.
PERSONAL AND OTHERWISE.
A New Tork Judge decides that poker is
a game of skill, not of chance. Experience
is a great help to Judicial wisdom.
St. Paul's union station Is ugly enough
to stop a runaway train. That puts Kan
sas City's "prize beauty" out of the run
ning. In the opinion! of Louisville, Peoria and
Omaha experts the president's exposition
of "What is whisky" exudes tho right
spirit.
In Chicago there Is deep seated fear In
mighty interested circles' that the grand
Jury will hand some troublesome prize
packages to tbe city hall crowd.
Mark Twain's Christmas greeting closely
followed by his Christmas misfortune were
Irr.presslve reminders of the short 'space
between the smile and the tear in human
life.
In the opinion of the supreme court of
Illinois a person injured on the thrillers
of public amusement parks is Justified in
raiding the box office for all the coin a
Jury awards.
A school superintendent in New Jersey
observes in his report "We use a rattan,
putting it where nature intended It should
j go." For further particulars, apply to the
class In anatomy.
In breaking larger areas of Manitoban
prairie and preparing It for winter seed
ing, the exiled Americans up there, much
against their will, were obliged to push
the regular stock of snow clouds and bill
iards over the boundary,
San Francisco papers say that one John
P. Irish Is to become an orange grower
unless the federal government Induces him
to hold down the Job of nuval officer of
the port for another year. This is the
same John 1'. whose vocal thunders, in
years pa.it, echoed through the highways
and byways of Iowa, arid oft filled Omaha
Jacksotilans with hope and hot air. What
an elegant soloist he was, and what an
extensive repertoire of political operas he
interpreted for the famished partiots out
side the breastworks. Since the crime of
'96 crossed his name from the Jacksonlan
roster, the erstwhile Iowa foghorn has been
doing business at the golden gate for the
federal government. John P. Is a sure
enough patriot. That's what he. preached.,
Practiced It. too. Nona of his old ad
mirers doubt that he will continue a patriot
if Washington. Insists.
. jiri al io
Bank Building, Omaha
DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES.
Maybelle no you think this photograph
looks :ike me?
Gladys Not. In the least, dear; but It's a
splendid picture. Chicago Tribune.
Madgo Did you tell him you didn't be
lieve him when he told you that you were
the first plrl he'd ever loved'.'
Marjorle No: hut 1 name right hack at
him with another whopper. Said he was
the first man who had ever kissed me."
Judge.
"Here's an article In this ma:sin en
tit'ed 'How to Meet Trouble.' " .said Mrs.
Weirierly. ".Iiall 1 read it to you?"
"No, thank yon," replied his wife's hus
band. "How to dodge trouble Is the brand
Information I'm looking for." Chicago
News.
"V-e-s." hesitated Mr. Justwed. "these
biscuits are pretty good, but don't vou think
there ought to be Just a llttlo more "
"Your mother made them,", interrupted
Mrs. J. quickly s
"t them?" ended Mr. J., with a flash
of Inspiration. Cleveland Leader.
"Kuphorbla." lie groaned, "after all these
years ot devotion on my part are you going
" ''"'"o iiiu Hour oi noiie in my race
"Yts, Algy," he said; "but III open It
when you e.r-aing."
Algy understood. He brought a solitaire
mo iicai nine ne came. unicugo iriDurjs;,
AT THE DOOR.
Kugeno Field.
I thought myself indeed secure.
ou mm me aoor, so firm the lockl
But. lo! he toddling comes to lure
My parent ear with timorous knock.
My heart were stono could it withstand
The sweetness of my baby's plea,
That timorous, baby knocking, and,
"Please let me in. It's only me."
I threw aside the unfinished book,
Regardless of its tempting charms;
And. opening wide the door, I took
My laughing darling In my arms.
Who known but In eternity
I like the truant child, shall wait
The glories of a life to be,
Beyond the Heavenly Father's gate?
And will that Heavenly Father heed
Tile truant's supplicating cry,
As at the outer door I plead,
" 'TIs I. Oh Father! ouly If
IVo Sell 100 Kinds
ineral Waters
We will sell over M0 kinds Imported and
Amtrlcan Mineral Waters, and, as we ob
tain direct from springs or Importer, can
guarantee rreshneas and genuineness.
Boro Llthla Water, bot.. l)c; case, f5.u0.
Boro Llthla Water, pints, dozen. 11.60:
ctse, 100. J10.00.
We are distributing agent! in Omaha for
the celebrated water from Kxcelslor
Hprlngs, Mo., and -ll at following prices:
Regent, quart buttle, Joe; dozen, 12 iS;
case, no bottlns, ls.00.
KijIplio-SHline, ()iiart botUe, 25c; dozen
f2 !5;: case. M bottles. JX.00. '
Hulpho-Saline, quurt bottle, 25c; dozon,
Koterian, quart buttle, 20c; doxen, t.00.
Hoterian. pint bottle, 15c; doxen, 1.S0.
Soterlan ilnger Ale, pint bottle,' 15cj
dosen. II. w.
Soteriiin Ginger Ala, quart bottle Sc:
doxen, t2.23. '
Diamond Lithis, half-gallon bottle 40o'
ease. 1 doxen. H 0". '
Crystal Litlila, i-gallon Jugs, each, 11 00.
Salt (Sulphur. 5-gallon Jugs, each, $ a
Delivery free to any part 0f Omaha,
Council Bluffs or Mouth Omaha. ,
Sherman & McConnell Drue Co.
10th and IXxIge 81 s.
Owl Drug Co.
16th and llurnrj SUu