TIIK OMAHA SUNDAY HKE: JANUARY 2. 1910. B The Omaha Sunday Ite FOUNDED IJV F.DWAUD ROKKWATKK. VICTOR R .l, ATi;it. F.DIToK. Entered at Omslia pnstoffke as second class matter. terms of sc inscription. 3 1 1 v Pee (ln hiding Sunday), per week Vi Daily Ho (without Holiday!, per week 10c Dally Re without 8unday, one year M OO Dally Bee and Sutvlav, one year 600 liKI.IVKIIK.HRV CARRIER. Kvenlng pf (without Sunday), per wfk Br Evening- Hep (with Sunday), per week 10c Sunday H, one year t-ffl Matiirdny Hoe. one year l.ft Address all complaints of Irregularities In delivery to City Circulation D -partmrnt. OFFICES. Omaha The Hee Building. Houth Omsha Twentv-fonrth and N. Council Bluffs- 15 Scott Street. Lincoln 61S Little I (wild i ri r. lilcago Marquette Huildlng. New Vork Krmmii 1101-10J No. 34 Went Thirty-third Street. Washington 72i Fourteenth Street, N W. correspon pent k. Communications relating to news and ed itorial rriatt-r should be addressed: Omaha Hoe, Editorial Department. REMITTANCES. Remit by draft, express or postal order pHvahlo to The Bee Publishing Company, (inly 2-c.ent stsmps received In payment of mall accounts, Personal cheeks, except fin Ornalia or eastern exchanges, not accepted. STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION. Slate of Nebraska. Douglas County, .: George- B. Tzschuck, treasurer of The Re )ii tl 1 eli In k Company, being duly sworn, says that the. actual number of full and complete copies of The Pally, Morn ing", Evening and Sunday Hee printed dur ing the month of December, 1909, was as follows: 1 41,830 17 , 41,780 18 3 ... 41,880 19 4 41,790 90 8 46.340 91 0 43,930 93 7 41,670 93 43,860 94 9 43,830 96 10 43,860 96 11 43,660 97 19 41,080 98 13 44.980 89 14 43,470 30 IB 43,800 31 16 43,430 43,630 43,930 41,630 43,770 43,480 43.680 43,480 43,530 43,600 44,680 43,610 43,930 43,370 49,410 43,490 Total 1,333,610 Returned copies 10,130 Net Total 1,313,380 Iaily Average 49,334 'KOltOK H. TSWCHITCK, Treasurer. Subscribed In my presence and sworn to before me this 31st day of December, lyoa. VV". P. WALKER. Notary Public. ahacrlbera leaving; the city tem orarllj ahonld have The Bee mailed to them. Address will be 'asjed as often as requested. Making dates Is no easy matter, theo days. Can you jet write it 1910? The brave resolutlonlst has set no 8 o'clock limit on the travels of the water wagon. Talk of reviving the dead, here's Kansas striving to make a live issue out of the cemetery trust. The question of what Is whisky seems to have been settled, but the de bate as to why It Is is still on. If the stock market reformers suc ceed in their plans, future gambling will become a thing of the past. Wheat took a tumble as the markets closed for the year, but unlike Humpty Dumpty it is able to get up again. Those strange lights in the night sky or Worcester, Mass., are now reported as visible at Rye, N. Y. Note the name. In the pathway toward a year of happiness, it is well to remember that being a good fellow is not necessarily being good. New Yorkers are launching a new party to fight Tammany. Why? The late returns were that Tammany was knocked out. The voice of peace In the switch men's strike must either have an im pediment -of speech or else has fallen upon deaf ears. Poiuologlsts may look to the Man hattan orchards for a record plum crop as soon as Mr. Gaynor gets ready to shake the branches. Dr. Eliot having vindicated his legal title to the five-foot bookshelf, he can afford to thank his discomfited rivals for their advertising. A Massachusetts mayor named IVhlte refuses to write the usual mes sages. He' evidently draws the color line against black and white. New York is to have a theater which will be roofless in summer time. That will let the high jinks of Manhattan effervesce without raising the rafters. Mr. Wu, the original He-want ed-to-know, promises to return to America iu fifty years. By that time he will have discovered some more questions to ask. While the last year was a banner one in the sale of diamonds to Ameri cans, the new year will determine whether the diamonds or the hearts they won are trumps. Mascagni, rendering Tennyson's "Godlva" Into opera, changes the lady's name to "Ysobel," which seems a note as false as the hair she will wear, and Is taking more unwarranted liberties than were attempted by Peeptng Tom. Will the woman whose husband has no snow shovel kindly favor him with a thougUful gift when she runs out to the bargain sales this week? The un ckaned sidewalk is not provocative of perpetuation of the pledge against pro fanity. The unanimous wall from American titles would lead one to believe that the satisfactory street car system Is as bard to discover as the honest mau for whom Diogenes sought. When an American city is s'llsfled with its treet car service, it will be when tt ceased to grow, . A Lesson in Economics. President Lowell of Harvard gave uttranrr? to some thoughts concerning economies, during he week, which af ford a lesson to the voter at Urge, In every walk of life. Many a careless citi zen shies at the word economics, but if F.uch an one will but give heed to Frof. Lowell's clear-cut definition of It as the one study In the natural sciences which Is simple In Its pur poses, which no nomenclature beyond the Intelligence of the ordinary man to comprehend, and constricted solely to the topic of the government of man and the things man uses for his com fort, he will find that nothing else so closely concerns him. President lowell diHcloses a faith hat politics Is not so hopelessly evil as the reformer would claim. Indeed, the reformer comes in for some caustic comment on the part of the Harvard president, who compares hi in to a woodpecker striving loudly for a whole day to drill a hole In a copper gutter pipe. He concludes that all reform movements need ndvlce from people who are thoroughly familiar with the actual workings of political institu tion Reformers, he adds, are too prone to believe that they have a panacea that will change humanity, whereas man Is likely to remain as he was before he tried their scheme, some good, some bad, nnd the mass Indiffer ent to matters which do not touch their personal interests. President Lowell well says that the library Is not the laboratory of politi cal science. In the outside world the phenomena of politics must be sought, and the student of politics derives In calculable benefit from a personal fa miliarity with public life. Good people who stand aghast at the methods em ployed In public life which they them selves commonly employ In more pri vate affairs, are berated by Dr. Lowell, who admits that things are inevitable and legitimate In party organization which the rabid reformer falls so to dis tinguish from things which are repre hensible. And those who rail at a politi cal machine of any kind do not hesitate to conduct with great complacency a little machine of their own in some so ciety. Frequently politics Is not so heated in a state central committee as It is in a sewing circle. These and simi lar thliigs Dr. Lowell is free to admit, and his practical view of the necessi ties and virtues of established politics as contrasted with some of the impracticabilities, Injustices and ac tual wrongs committed In the name of reform, afford interesting reflections for the thoughtful, as well as for the casual voter. Revival of Waterways. We seem not to be the only nation that is turning seriously to the an cient rivers for solution of the vexed problem of transportation. Wrhlle we are projecting deeper waterways that shall restore the commerce of the Mis souri, the Mississippi and the Ohio, France is In the thick of a campaign to make the Loire navigable from source to mouth. This is the longest river in that country, and penetrates the very heart of France, putting a wide region of vineyards, collieries, quarries, forests and factories in di rect communication with the Atlantic by means of a series of canals which accommodates only shallow craft and which has long since become Inade quate to convey the commerce or to de velop the industries of the inland country to the proportions deemed pos sible. , Having determined that the Loire must be made over as a deep and per manent channel for modern vessels, the French have gone Into the project with their characteristic spontaneous enthusiastic, and are planning for the removal of a series of islands from the river, excavation of sandbars by whole sale, the wattling of the banks to guard against the washings of the floods, and the dredging out "and walling in of some 600 miles of bed, at an expense running into vast millions. When the experience of the French with the Panama canal is recalled, there may be a tendency on the part of Americans to be skeptical about this undertaking, but it must be remem bered that the failure of the De Lesseps scheme was due to graft and incom petency, and that the Panama enter prise was far removed from the popu lar eye, while the Loire Improvements are going on at home under the direct and practical charge of governmental engineers. The special interest of the United States in the making of the Loire navigable lies in the fact that this river is the direct and natural route between America and central Europe. Nantes, at the mouth' of the Loire, is 124 miles nearer New York than is Havre, and the improved Lolrp and its canals will open up to Ameri can trade a vast inland field now ac cessible only by roundabout and expen sive railroad transportation, and will give New York an all-water route for freight clear Into Swltierlnnd. Befogging the Issue. The lawyers who are taking part in the discussion of court reforms are giv ing the public a very illuminating ex ample of the style of procedure that has caused the clamor against "the law's delay." Instead of drtving dl rectly to the point at issue, they are proceeding after the circumlocutory manner that has won for the lawer a place in literature to which no other profession aspires. They have been be fogging the issue by dragging in collat eral or hypothetical points that do not bear, except remotely, on the main question. One side Is attempting to lay the blame on the favorable leaning of the courts to wealthy men, another side brings up the allegation that the cor poration attorneys are responsible for the failure of reforms, another charges the public, itself, with failing to accept the lawyer's advlre and so It goes. Courts were established for the pur pose of adjusting matters of dispute between individuals and to enforce the authority of organized society over its separate members. The court does not, or should not, at least, know, rich or poor, corporation, firm or individual. The law applies with equal force to all, and one should not have any advan tage over another in any case. Tho only possible natural advantage a rich man can have over the poor man is that he can better afford to abide tho slow moving process of the court. The cor poration has a similar advantage, be cause its attorneys are paid whether they work or not, while the individual must hire his lawyer by the job. Tho argument does not turn on these points. Eminent jurists and barristers unite In statements that our court pro cedure Is cumbersome, that many of our methods are archaic, and that the expedition of justice requires that cer tain reforms be adopted. These reforms have been suggested again and again, but the bar associations In their local meetings arc slow and chary to take steps to make them effective. Instead of clearing away to the achievement de sired they have raised up clouds of technicalities that advantage, neither them or the public. Some day the re forms will be forced. It is much better that they should come from within. Official Judgment Lacking. Without In any way desiring to re vive the lamentable and tiresome Peary-Cook controversy, one may well bo pardoned for inquiring whether there is not to be an attempt made to clinch the judgment In favor of Peary by official verdict. As the case stands, the University of Copenhagen reported Cook's claim not proven, and a com mittee from the National Geographic society rendered judgment in favor of Peary. Bait the National Geographic so ciety Is not a national body, nor has it any connection with the government. It is purely a private organization con sisting of some 50,000 members scat tered through the country whose mem bership consists of subscribing to a magazine issued by the society. It has no International recognition, and al ready its standing in this country is being cynically referred to by fellows of the Royal Geographical society in London, fellowship In ' which means recognized scientific standing. The criticism Is made that the so-called na tional society at Washington is not a serious-minded body of scholars repre sentative of the nation, but that its membership is thrown in like a trad ing stamp as a premium for the maga zine subscription referred to. It can readily be estimated where this criticism will lead among skeptics abroad. The Idea Is bound to grow in Europe that Peary has been proclaimed discoverer of the pole solely by a pri vate body which was known to be in sympathy with him in advance, and which actually aided In financing his expedition. As Americans, we are in terested In clinching our claim to the pole. But has official Judgment con firmed the claim so that in case of Bubsequent polar explorations it will not be disputed among other nations? Peary was a representa tive of the United States navy w hile on his voyage. Yet our Naval ob servatory, the most extravagantly equipped in the world, has failed to pass upon his case. He was on the gov ernment's official roll, yet no depart ment of the federal administration has examined his proofs. Thus far the American claim to the discovery of the North pole rests alone upon the decis ion of a private committee of a civilian society, sustained by a membership akin to the Chautauqua system. It be gins to look as though there was sound sense in Rear Admiral Schley's pro posal that Peary get a verdict from across the water. It may be found use ful later. The Red Man's Future. Nineteen years ago Big Foot's de voted band of Sioux braves made the last stand of the Indian in armed re sistance to the white man's govern ment in "the United States. In the bloody carnage of that New Year's day at Wounded Knee was written the last word in the chapter that had runfrom the time white men first set foot upon tho continent almost four centuries be fore. With the bringing In of the prisoners taken to the camp at Pine Ridge began the new story of life for the Indian. All over the' west it has been the same. It Is one of steady advance for the red man in the better ways of his white brother. The Indian has been taught to be self-sustaining iu a coun try where much effort is required to achieve support. The young man who was trained as a warrior before the day on which Big Foot fell is now an energetic man of affairs busy with his farm or other occupation, while his son, born since that day, hears no more songs of the trail or recitations of glories to be won In battle; or deeds 'of daring achieved through personal prowess, and the reward that comes alone to him who can command it as a follower of the trail, whether it be the war path or the hunt. He is now schooled in the learning of the while man and versed In the crafts of civili sation, and set upon his feet and tM to stand alone in ways of peace that were not the ways of his father. The work baB gone beyond the ex perimental stage and its results have bo far been most satisfactory. Only a little while before the fight at Wounded Knee one perhaps better ac quainted with the Sioux than any other white man living or dead, s;iid: "You may tame the Sioux Indian, but you can no more domesticate him than you can domesticate the Amerrrsn eagle or the Rrizaly bear." Yet within a generation the Sioux Indian has not only been tamed, but he has-been do mesticated to such a degree that the author of the remark quo'ed has ex pressed his surprise and confessed his error. What Is true of the Sioux Indian Is true in a greater or lees degree of all other Indians. They are being domes ticated. Whether they will be assim ilated or will remain a distinct rate time onjy can tell. But the future of the red man seems to be certain; he will become a useful citizen. Terrors of the Rail. One of the penalties society pays for civilization as life's coinptpxity devel ops Is that It brings new terrors as well as new blessings. New diseases spring up and blast us in our hour of might and new fads lie In wait to en compass our downfall should 'we un warily come within their reach. And ever and anon human nature takes on some new form, startling as a curiosity and terrifying In its potentiality. Man, being an imitative animal, is led into adopting new ways, but he Is adapted tp few, and out of this frequently grows confusion, and occasionally dis aster. For example, one of the highly use ful directors of a great railway system dined on Christmas day with the chief ow ner of the railroad in question. As the dinner was served nt the country home of the railroad magnate the menu is withheld from public Inspec tion, but the inference Is easy that It was a feast commensurate with the joys of the occasion which it com memorated. At any rate, two days later the highly useful director, feel ing moved to give his friends a touch of real life, started something in Wall street. The price of the stock jumped more than thirty points In less than thirty minutes and then flopped as quickly back. This sort of exorcise doesn't sit well with Wall street men, especially in the "cold grey dawn of the morning after," and inquiry as to the cause of the strange conduct of the stock brought out the fact that its sud den upward swoop was merely the re sult of a desire on the part of the man who had been dining well to continue the fun a little while longer. About the same time the vice presi dent of another railroad astonished and delighted the employes of the de partment under his control by notify ing them of a considerable increase in pay, the new salary rate to take effect at once. After the fortunate men had gone home and told their wives, and while they were still receiving the con gratulations of their friends, came the disappointing word that the vice presi dent whose liberality they were cele brating had been adjudged insane and taken to a hospital for treatment. Of course, his order for a general Increase In salary was declared null and void. The mere- fact that he ordered higher pay for the men under him was, per haps, not taken as prima facie evidence of his insanity. These cases are set out as Illustra tions of the new terrors of the rail from which poor humanity has no re treat. A Census of Agriculture. On the heels of Secretary Wilson' report of the farmer's banner year it is edifying to review the progress In agriculture made during the past de cade. This will not be possible from official sources until the government's census of 1910 shall have been com piled, and analyzed, and that result is not likely to be ready for the public for two or three years; but from the statistics painstakingly gathered by the staff of the Orange Judd Farmer it is possible to glean a forecast which seems a reasonably accurate presenta tion of the conditions on January 1, 1910, as compared with 1900. The increase in the number of farms during the decade Is approximately 1,000,000, and the rise in value more than $9,000,000,000, while the gain In the annual value of farm products has been nearly $3,000,000,000." The tendency has been to cut up the large tracts in every section intt sizeable farms which can be worked Belong more intensive lines, which Is a step toward the progress urged by Secretary Wil son, James J. Hill and other agricul tural economists. In the central west ern slates, including Nebraska, Iowa and tho Dakotas, the gain in the num ber of farms has been la per cent, the rise In permanent values 43 per cent and the value of the annual products has nearly doubled. A similar show ing Is made by the south. In the far western and Pacific 6tates the number and value of the farms has doubled, while the worth of the products has trebled. While the gain in number in the Atlantic states has necessarily been small, the increase of farm values there has ranged from 13 to 34 per cent, and the annual product has gained in value from 67 to 71 per cent. Stupendous totals are shown by the north central states, including Ne braska, Iowa and the Dakotas, besides Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Michigan, Wis consin, Minnesota, Mississippi and Kansas. These states represent fully one-half of the total Increase of the en tire country in agricultural values, and their aggregate assessment exceeds the total of all the rest of the United States. The country's entire agricul tural rating now is estimated at thirty billions of dollars, which is a gain of 4 4 per cent in values since 1800. It U-apparent from the figures at hand that not only has the west made prodigious strides, but also that the tendency of the whole country han been to turn more and more to the develop ment of the fullest possibilities for production of the fruits of tha soil. This is as it should be, for as the pop ulation has been overtaking the crops of the country it has become necessary for us to enlarge our productivity, and It is manifest that the latter-day cry of "Back to the farm" Is bearing abun dant results and that wo are culti vating our acres with vastly more In telligence and application, and with correspondingly golden harvests. Champ Clark, who comes from what once was the biggest mule-producing region In the world, laments the scar city of the' animal. He tried to blame the tariff, but did not succeed, and Is at a. loss to know what has become of the ancient Missouri steed. Can it be that the creature has been rendered extinct through the Lincoln habit of using it as a race horse? Prof. Wrong of Toronto says Canada could slip away from England without striking a blow. Maybe Prof. Wrong is right, but how lonely the old lady would be with no Dominion threatened with United States annexation to worry about. Cheer up, the year will not be de void of gaiety. Zeppelin and the Prince of Monaco are going to fly to the pole. If they start from Monte Carlo, they may succeed by mounting the wings of the riches there released into flight. The commander of the French sub marine that dived under a sinking ship and held It above the waves until all on board were rescued, deserves to be presented with a copy of Jules Verne's complete works. This Is the peek when, with all sails set, the good ship, Bargain Hunter, comes into port for the January sales. And those who watch it close will see that it does it early and often. Minnesota having successfully taken to raising lemons grafted to grapefruit, It Is apt to lay claim to the title of the banner state for graft. An Overworked Nation. Washington Post. Having worked us for tf.O.OOO for "the cause," T. P. O'Connor speaks truth when he says we are "a nation of overworked men and women." ' Grentest Is the Soil. Chicago News. Farms In the United States are esti mated to bo worth $20,000,000,000. These are figures that might make even a copper trust envious. Handy Tool In Emergencies. St. Louis Globe Democrat. Uncle Sam Is experimenting on the Mary land coast with a 14-lnoh gun, the largest In, the world. With such a derringer the American marksman feels that he haa the drop and can hold on to It. No Shade on Ills Lights. Houston Post. The Omaha Bee thinks John W. Gates may ultimately come to be known as "Pearly Gates." No, Indeed; the dim, faint luster of pearls could never satisfy John W.'s liking; for luminosity. John W. either blazes or gltmmereth not at all. Now AVIII You Be Goodf New York Sun. We knew It would come; somebody was sure to discover the fact and hummer our heads with It. Prof. Milton Whitney, chtof of the bureau of soils, declares that the Increased cost of living Is due, simply, to the fact that Americans are eating far more than they did fifty years ago. His reason ing Is. we gather, that Though our produc tion of food Is very great, yet our national appetite has grown faster still; because It tastes good In the back of our mouths, we sit at table and eat and cat, and gorge and gorgo and gorge. SERMONS BOILED DOWN. A man Is worth only as much as makes him useful to his day. The only ideas that cannot be revised are those that are dead. It takes more than blindness to time to give the vision of eternity. It is always easy to be good If you can be absolutely lonesome. The piety that slops over in meeting sel dom flows over Into duties. No man Is fit for good society who does not help society to goodness. To refuse the friendship of conscience Is to double the power of all your foes. To make men good by force Is to force out of them the dynamic of real goodness. That Is far from being a home where you cannot see the fumlly for the furniture. The streets of our cities are the only practice grounds for walking the golden streets. K Half tlxi buttle against real sins would be won If we would Ignore the Imaginary ones. Many a preacher would revise his ser mons on the next life If he knew more about tills one. No amount of anxiety to snve the folk can make up for unwillingness to save and serve folk. The tendency to correct all croation Is often mistaken for the creation of correct character. Chicago Tribune. Our Birthday Book Terence V. Fontferly, once heal of the unions of labor, is 61 today. ie was born in Pennsylvania and came up through the coal mines. In later years he has been in the government service as commissioner ot immigration. Frederick B. Opper, who became famous us a cartoonist on Judge, was born Jan uary 2, 157, at Madlaon, O. Mr. Opper is nt 111 drawing cartoons and funny plctufes for Ntw York papers. Francis K. Leupp, who Just retired lust year from the position of commissioner of Indian affairs, is celebrating his 61st birth day. Mr. LeurP Is a native of New Vork City, lie used to be a newspaper man, and mado a hit with a biography of Theodore Rooseelpt. Edward 8. Martin, who contributes es says and stories to literary magazines, Is 44 years old and already has a long list of books behind him. Dr. I. K. Summers, Jr., lis reached the age of 42, with his reputation as a great surgeon already made. Dr. Bumn;n is a native Nebraakan, being born January 2, 18i8, at old Fort Kearney, where his fathsr was stationed as an army surgeon. "Sight Drafts at Maturity' ANCIENT HISTORY. Some people might conclude wc had sud denly assumed a virtue. Tp show our consis tent record wc will publish a few letters from old friends. Here is one: THE OMAHA BEE The Dee Publishing Co., Prop. DAILY, M.i.f in Ereniflf. SUNDAY WEEKLY E. ROSEWATER, Editor Omaha, September 17, lDCKx Mr. H. I). Xeely Manager. The Equitable Life Assurance Society of the U. S. Omaha Neb. My Dear Sir: I am glad to acknowledge receipt of vour Society's check paying the claim presented to your office in Omaha, September 2, 1900, on policies on the life of. my father, the late Hon. Edward Hosewater. My father's life was insured for $291,449.00 in fourteen different companies, the largest amount in any one com pany being held in the Equitable, and you have made good your assertion that the Equitable would be Hie first to pay any money to the estate. Thanking you in behalf of all the family and executors for the prompt manner in which you have made the set tlement, I remain, Yours very truly, Another prominent business man of Onfall a telephoned us and bought a policy for $25,000, carrying a premium in excess of $1,000. The Equitable Life Assurance Society Of the United States. PAUL MORTON, President ' "Strongest in the World' H. D. NEELY, Manager. Merchants National SECULAR SHOTS AT PULPIT. Chicago Record-Herald: An Ohio preacher wants a divorce because his wife calls his sermons rot'. She would probably think bet ter of them If his salary were higher than it Is. Charleston News and Courier: We quite agree with the Pennsylvania minister who declares that the good wife Is man's superior by 90 per cent, and we may add that lucky indeed Is th man who can get the other 10 per cent entirely for his own use. Philadelphia Ledger: Ministers have been giving much advice lately as to the selection of wives. Common observation, however, promotes the belief that the' min ister who picks a good one for himself not only has been lucky, but in the matter of selecUon performed his whole duty. San Francisco Chronicle: The late King Leopold's deathbed was so edifying from a church point of view ns to indicate that his majesty was in the inood of the colored brother, who with his last breath thanked Ood that, though he had broken all the commandments, he had his 'llglon left. PERSONAL AND OTHERWISE. A New Tork Judge decides that poker is a game of skill, not of chance. Experience is a great help to Judicial wisdom. St. Paul's union station Is ugly enough to stop a runaway train. That puts Kan sas City's "prize beauty" out of the run ning. In the opinion! of Louisville, Peoria and Omaha experts the president's exposition of "What is whisky" exudes tho right spirit. In Chicago there Is deep seated fear In mighty interested circles' that the grand Jury will hand some troublesome prize packages to tbe city hall crowd. Mark Twain's Christmas greeting closely followed by his Christmas misfortune were Irr.presslve reminders of the short 'space between the smile and the tear in human life. In the opinion of the supreme court of Illinois a person injured on the thrillers of public amusement parks is Justified in raiding the box office for all the coin a Jury awards. A school superintendent in New Jersey observes in his report "We use a rattan, putting it where nature intended It should j go." For further particulars, apply to the class In anatomy. In breaking larger areas of Manitoban prairie and preparing It for winter seed ing, the exiled Americans up there, much against their will, were obliged to push the regular stock of snow clouds and bill iards over the boundary, San Francisco papers say that one John P. Irish Is to become an orange grower unless the federal government Induces him to hold down the Job of nuval officer of the port for another year. This is the same John 1'. whose vocal thunders, in years pa.it, echoed through the highways and byways of Iowa, arid oft filled Omaha Jacksotilans with hope and hot air. What an elegant soloist he was, and what an extensive repertoire of political operas he interpreted for the famished partiots out side the breastworks. Since the crime of '96 crossed his name from the Jacksonlan roster, the erstwhile Iowa foghorn has been doing business at the golden gate for the federal government. John P. Is a sure enough patriot. That's what he. preached., Practiced It. too. Nona of his old ad mirers doubt that he will continue a patriot if Washington. Insists. . jiri al io Bank Building, Omaha DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES. Maybelle no you think this photograph looks :ike me? Gladys Not. In the least, dear; but It's a splendid picture. Chicago Tribune. Madgo Did you tell him you didn't be lieve him when he told you that you were the first plrl he'd ever loved'.' Marjorle No: hut 1 name right hack at him with another whopper. Said he was the first man who had ever kissed me." Judge. "Here's an article In this ma:sin en tit'ed 'How to Meet Trouble.' " .said Mrs. Weirierly. ".Iiall 1 read it to you?" "No, thank yon," replied his wife's hus band. "How to dodge trouble Is the brand Information I'm looking for." Chicago News. "V-e-s." hesitated Mr. Justwed. "these biscuits are pretty good, but don't vou think there ought to be Just a llttlo more " "Your mother made them,", interrupted Mrs. J. quickly s "t them?" ended Mr. J., with a flash of Inspiration. Cleveland Leader. "Kuphorbla." lie groaned, "after all these years ot devotion on my part are you going " ''"'"o iiiu Hour oi noiie in my race "Yts, Algy," he said; "but III open It when you e.r-aing." Algy understood. He brought a solitaire mo iicai nine ne came. unicugo iriDurjs;, AT THE DOOR. Kugeno Field. I thought myself indeed secure. ou mm me aoor, so firm the lockl But. lo! he toddling comes to lure My parent ear with timorous knock. My heart were stono could it withstand The sweetness of my baby's plea, That timorous, baby knocking, and, "Please let me in. It's only me." I threw aside the unfinished book, Regardless of its tempting charms; And. opening wide the door, I took My laughing darling In my arms. Who known but In eternity I like the truant child, shall wait The glories of a life to be, Beyond the Heavenly Father's gate? And will that Heavenly Father heed Tile truant's supplicating cry, As at the outer door I plead, " 'TIs I. Oh Father! ouly If IVo Sell 100 Kinds ineral Waters We will sell over M0 kinds Imported and Amtrlcan Mineral Waters, and, as we ob tain direct from springs or Importer, can guarantee rreshneas and genuineness. Boro Llthla Water, bot.. l)c; case, f5.u0. Boro Llthla Water, pints, dozen. 11.60: ctse, 100. J10.00. We are distributing agent! in Omaha for the celebrated water from Kxcelslor Hprlngs, Mo., and -ll at following prices: Regent, quart buttle, Joe; dozen, 12 iS; case, no bottlns, ls.00. KijIplio-SHline, ()iiart botUe, 25c; dozen f2 !5;: case. M bottles. JX.00. ' Hulpho-Saline, quurt bottle, 25c; dozon, Koterian, quart buttle, 20c; doxen, t.00. Hoterian. pint bottle, 15c; doxen, 1.S0. Soterlan ilnger Ale, pint bottle,' 15cj dosen. II. w. Soteriiin Ginger Ala, quart bottle Sc: doxen, t2.23. ' Diamond Lithis, half-gallon bottle 40o' ease. 1 doxen. H 0". ' Crystal Litlila, i-gallon Jugs, each, 11 00. Salt (Sulphur. 5-gallon Jugs, each, $ a Delivery free to any part 0f Omaha, Council Bluffs or Mouth Omaha. , Sherman & McConnell Drue Co. 10th and IXxIge 81 s. Owl Drug Co. 16th and llurnrj SUu