THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE: DECEMBER 2G, 1909.
ft
The Omaha Sunday Dee,
FOUKDF.D BT EDWARD ROSKWATF.H
VICTOR ROSEWATEIl. EDITOR.
Entered t Omaha postoffice second
ers matter
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payable to The Bee Publishing Company.
Onlv 2-cent itimm received In payment or
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STATEMENT or CjnCTTDATJON.
tata of Nebraska. Douglas County. . :
George B. Tsaahuck. treasurer of Tho
Publishing Company. btlrg duly swjrn.
snvs that the actual nttmbe- of full and
complete copies of The Dally. Morning.
Evening and Bunda Bee printed during the
month of November, 1900, wn aa follows:
1 43,070 1 i,rso
I 43.0C 17 a.lK
( 43,700 II 41,800
4 43,150 1 41,30
40,440 0 41,390
43,170 21 40,340
7 40,040 II 41,3K
4130 aa ii,7o
43.1M 34 41,73)
13 41,830 2S 41,700
31 41,733 t 43,840
13 43,630 27 41,810
It 41,730 SI 40,400
14 40,100 29 41,050
II 41,300 Sv 41,330
Total 1,353,860
He turned Coplaa 3,845
Nat Totai M 43.006
Dally Average 41,733
GEO. O. TZSCHUCK. Treasurer.
Subscribed lr, ruy presence and aworn to
before ma Lhla lat day of December, 18W.
(Seal) U. P. WALKk.lt.
XMotary Public.
fcserlfcwre tearing tfc city tesa
orarlly ekoaU) ba Th
nallee) to tkees. A4res will ba
baa aa (! aa reaated.
It W33 a merry Christmas for the
Pearyodicals.
Trio Turkey, trust can now go Into
seclusion again.
Oh, woll, If you didn't do it early
this year, you may next.
Did It taste as good for breakfast
today as it did for dinner yesterday?
Only ninety-six days until the 1st of
April. This ought to cheer the base
ball fan a little.
That hot wave In Europe may be
merely the exhaust from the Copen
hagen safety valve.
And If today there is anyone who
does not believe In Santa Claus, he
should be driven back to the reserva
tion, Won't the safety razor men invent a
safety be ard for Santa Claua before the
next annual crop of whisker fires is
due?
Korea apparently is not aware of the
fact, but it is a good guess that it is
about to become one of the brides of
Japan.
If Dr. Cook is where he can read the
papers, It is fair to assume that he is
engaged in remarks which can only bo
expressed by making dashes.
Like the old-time religion, the old
faehioned winter seems to be good
enough for the native in many regions
cf the United States this year.
No ono can deny that Dr. Cook has
discovered the pathway to the land of
covering up. He has the old vanishing
lady trick backed off the boards.
Now the people who were recently
uproarious for a sane Fourth of July
are beginning to agttate for a sane
Christmas. Views of sanity differ.
How could Cuba expect Ita lottery to
be .anything but a blank, with Uncle
Sam keeping the sporting blood at low
temperature by means of his U. 8. mail
ice-pack T
Amerioan robins have been trans
planted to England with success. We
are willing to trade for them our entire
crop of English sparrows, and no ques
tions asked.
Canada's first warship la the Rain
bow, and before It gets very far with
its program It will find it needs the ex
hsustless pot of gold supposed to je at
the end of it.
While many surgeons pronounce the
new anaesthetic, stovalne, a success,
the layman continues to stumble over
ita pronunciation. But many a good
thing cannot be pronounced that should
not be renounced.
Advocates of foot ball are arraying
much eloquent argument In support of
the game, but none of these will con
vince the relatives of a victim of the
sanity of the sport. The sooner foot
ball Is debrutallted the bettor it will
be for college athletics.
Railroad manager a who are refusing
an lucrease of wages to employes,
while proposing to Increase rates to
patrons at a time when the companies
are paying the htghodt rate of divi
dends known to history, art not serv
ing their employers to the best advan
tage. The temper of the American
people at present is not the sweetest
towurd th railroads.
Reform in Trading.
The executive heads of two of the
leading trading firms on the Chicago
Board of Trade were punished by bus
pension from the Board of Trade for
one day. Their crime was the alleged
manipulation of prices to suit their
own ends. On the same day an ex
pelled member of the New York Stock
cxrhsnge bea;an suit against the presi
dent of the exchange for reinstatement,
alleging that he had been expelled be
cause of unfounded charges affecting
bit integrity as a member of the organ
ization. Th significance of these two news
items will be apparent when the details
arc examined Into a little more closely.
In the case of the gralnmen it was es
tablished that they controlled the sup
ply of oats for September and thaf.
through trading between themselves
they succeeded in running the price up
to a fictitious point, at which they un
dertook to compel the victims of their
manipulations to settle. The stock
broker was found guilty of giving in
formation to a rival stock exchange.
The public interest In this consists
largely of a desire to know how much
of the retribution viRited upon these
offenders Is founded on a real desire to
purify tlio operations of the grent trad
ing board? involved, and how much is
due merely to an effort on the part of
the "squeezed" to get even with the
"squeezers."
The great outcry of the public
against the various trading exchanges
of the world has been because of the
well-established fact that prices have
been manipulated and Juggled for the
benefit of shrewd and daring specula
tors who have found themselves tem
porarily in control. By these opera
tions millions have been wrung
through advancing prices from the
publtc and landed in private pockets.
Events of this nature raised a public
clamor not so very long ago so in
sistent that, reform was premised. Men
most Interested in the business insist
that here, as elsewhere, reform should
come from within, and that it left to
work out their destiny the boards of
trade and stock exchanges would as far
as possible eliminate speculative deal
ings. If the suspension of two of the
moat prominent grain dealers should
have the moral effect intended It will
be an evidence of the sincerity of the
promise of reform.! Under ; modern
conditions the great markets of the
world cannot be properly conducted
without the centralization of control.
But this great power must be adminis
tered w-ith great wisdom and prudence
in order that it may be a blessing and
not a menace to the public welfare.
Gambling in foodstuffs and other
necessities of life cannot longer be
tolerated.
Belated Attack On the Canal.
Now that we are beginning to per
ceive the end of the Panama achieve
ment, it is rather wearisome to behold
the muck-rakers' own magazines re
viving attacks on the canal, in the ab
sence of later topics. Some of them
are renewing prophecies of earthquake
that shall swallow up our millions,
while others are harking back vo the
cry already repudiated by the experts.
that tho lock canal la doomed to failure
and that it should have been engi
neered at sea level.
These attacks are very much be
lated. The nation is committed to the
construction of the canal along the
lines that are now being pushed to
such satisfactory completion. As for
the plea of Rear Admiral Evans, that
the canal be made absolutely free of
traffic charges to all the world, that is
a matter which can be adjusted, if It
shall be found necessary, after its suc
cessful operation is begun. The Sues
canal exacts charges to this day which
enable its operators to pay large divi
dends, and no plausible reason for our
sacrificing the legitimate revenues of
the waterway have as yet been ad
vanced. Let us finish the canal with
no more bickering, and then if our ini
tial rates need readjustment, that can
follow. Under the Hay-Pauncefote
treaty the rates to all nations roust be
equitable, which la the main point.
' Educating; for Practical Life.
We have been hearing a good deal
lately of the cry, "back to the farm,"
with very little definite suggestion as
to what was to draw the youth to ag
riculture save the visible rewards of
the career Itself. Secretary Wilson
has shown that the farmer has demon
strated his to be the most independent
and one of the most profitable of occu
pations, but to be successful according
to the modern standard, up-to-date
methods must be employed.
It has remained for President
Waters of the Kansas. Agricultural col
lege to point a possible way for the
spread of the gospel of agriculture
among the youthful masses, Agricul
ture In the rural schools be regards as
the next great educational problem.
The question is immediately before us,
he urges, how to shape instruction in
the unorganized, isolated and poorly
equipped school to that the pupils may
not lose sight of the farm, its life, its
problems, its beauties and'iti profits.
And he considers that the hope of
these schools snd of our entire system
of public education lieu, not in thj
abandonment of the country schools,
nor in the attempt to substitute some
thing else for them, but rather in mak
ing them serve their rnnetltuwncy bet
ter. He would weave the courses
around the knowledge of the common
phenomena of the world.
His first step, that of teaching home
economics and agriculture in the coun
try schools, with the option, also, of
taking up manual training; is part of
his general scheme for preparing the
pupils for practical as well as iatelleo-
tual life. So that the balance should
be maintained, he recommends that In
city schools home economics and man
ual training be taught, with'the option
of agriculture.
The teaching of vocational studies
in the common schools Is not entirely
a -new thought, but President Waters
has given a new twist to the proposal,
and it may be that he will prove to
have evolved a basis for definite under
takings toward putting into practice
some of the sermons we are hearing
preached on every hand for the prepa
ration of our coming generations for
the utilitarian work of mankind.
Safety in Coal Mining.
"An ounce of prevention Is worth a
pound of cure" today Just ho much as
it was at any former time In the
world's history, and this applies with
such force to mining operations, as
well as to other industrial activities,
that it would seem to need no argu
ment. Secretary Balllnger is now urg
ing that rescue stations be established
by the United States government at
points central to the various coal fields
of the country so that trained experts
may be hurried to the scene of any pos
sible disaster. This Is, perhaps, well
In its wy, but it would be far better
If steps were taken to compel mine
owners to adopt modern appliances
that would as far as possible prevent
accidents. The fact that death from
mine accidents In the United States is
three or 'more times greater th.in in
any other civilized country is not at all
to our credit. It has been pointed out
in connection with the St. Paul mine
at Cherry, 111., that the expenditure of
a few hundred dollars In equipment
would have saved the lives of all the
men who were sacrificed in that latest
terrible disaster. John Mitchell pro
poses that mines be equipped in their
underground workings with telephone
systems, with water pipes and other
easily arranged appliances that would
enable imprisoned men to communi
cate with the surface and to maintain
themselves pending the arrival of res
cue parties. Other suggestions of a
similar practical nature have been
made by men familiar with under
ground operations of the coal industry.
No drnstie legislation should be re
quired, nor any unreasonable burdens
laid upon the mine owners, but the re
sponsibility to care for the safety of
the men who work in the mines should
be forced home absolutely to the men
who own the mines.
Penalty or Protection.
Is the culprit sent to prison to be
punished, or to be reformed? Does
society, when sequestering a convicted
criminal, do so for the purpose of rid
ding itself of his presence, or to pro
vide that at the end of a reasonable
time he shall be returned a useful
member and not a perambulating
threat? Is the object of the law to
protect society by punishing the crimi
nal or to work a reformation in the
ways of one whoso moral obliquities
have rendered him temporarily, at
least, an undesirable?
These questions are suggested by
the reoccurrence of the discussion as
to the efficacy of laws providing for
parole or Indeterminate sentences, and
for other means of ameliorating the
condition of the convicted culprit. It
Is admitted that our system of pen
srogy is not perfect. Civilization
has gone faster, perhaps, in the
development of man's intellectual
than of his moral nature. But with
the extension in mental horlaon has
come a change in the attitude of, so
ciety towards offenders against its es
tablished canons. Punishment is sel
dom, if ever, inflicted any more for
purposes of vengeance, and only for the
most aggravated of crimes is the ex
treme penalty exacted.
The humane theory on which the
law is today administered is that in all
natures some good exists, and, if given
an opportunity, it will develop to a
point where the apparent criminal may
be made an honest and upright citizen.
Just when this point is attained is not
to be determined by a hard and fast
rule. For this reason many efforts at
reformation have proven apparent dis
appointments, yet the advocates of the
doctrine that the law la administered
not to punish, but to protect, to aid the
offender rather than to visit on blm
the resentment of society, find encour
agement in the fact that the list of sec
ond and third offenders and habitual
criminals 1b growing constantly
smaller. The impulses of the normal
man or woman are for good, and if
given proper encouragement the bent
of the individual will be directed along
the right ljnes.
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Unselfishness in Public Office.
Some people believe lu carrying the
Christmas spirit into the conduct of
real life throughout the year, and
something of that nature may be cred
ited as animating the health commis
sioner of Chicago, who has asked that
his salary be cut 10 per cent so that
the pay of his subordinates may be In
creased without seriously taxing the
public.
Such an attitude toward office-holding,
makes the professional politician
gasp, for It is a characteristic of no
race or time to regard public office as
a private graft. Indeed, the commis
sioner wss Immediately made the butt
of Jest and ridicule, which Is an un
worthy way of receiving a serious and
well intentloned proposal.
It is to be hoped that the city of
Chicago will have the good sense and
spirit to grant the health chief's re
quest. It would be a mistake to in
terpret his suggestion merely as a bid
for his helpers. If the city will ac
cept the doctor's magnanimous offer,
the Jesters will be silenced, and the
commissioner's public-spirited stand
will have the widespread good effect to
which such generosity is entitled.
Our National Son;.
Much criticism of popular ignorance
has been expressed of late because so
many people unconsciously rise when
they hear "America" played, and Brtf
iHhers present have smiled at the tri
bute to the English air of "God Save
the King," to which "My Country" is
sung. It is only in recent years that
the American has acquired the habit of
standing out of reopect for the national
song, and there has been as yet, no def
inite agreement as to what that na
tional song is. Every effort has been
made to crystallize sentiment on "The
Star-Spangled Banner," which Is dis
tinctly American in authorship, senti
ment and atmosphere; It commemor
ates a definite and characteristic Inci
dent, and appeals throughout to pa
triotism. But while it is as spirited as
one may wish when played by a brass
band, still it Is almost ImpoRslble to
render it in song, especially when at
tempted by a mixed and untrained
chorus.
A voting contest Just concluded un
der the auspices of the division of
music of the library of congres,r di
rected by Chief Sonneck, gives prece
dence to "Dixie," over "The Star
Spangled Banner," "Yankee Doodle"
and "America." "Dixie" Is a catchy
and Infectious tune, and when played
by tho orchestra or bands of the great
resorts where people of all sections
gather, it never fails of enthusiastic
reception. But the some holds true of
"Maryland, My Maryland," another
dashing and fiery air that is alive with
the martial spirit. Probably no one
would decry either of these tunes be
cause of Its sectional origin, for the
days of such sectionalism are past. But
with all their merits they, lack the
grandeur and nobility that characterize
the robust production of Francis Scott
Key, and in spite of the triumph of
"Dixie" in the voting contest, which at
its best is an unsatisfactory test, "The
Star-Spangled Banner" will hold its
place as appealing to ail the American
people with force and exultant pa
triotism more thoroughly than any of
its existing competitors.
Control of Wireless.
There appears to be good reason for
the measure now before congress for
the establishment of a wireless tele
graph board whose duty it shall be to
control the electric currents of the air,
for, according to the evidence pre
sented in connection with the resolu
tion, the wireless service of both com
merce and of the navy has at times
been rendered useless by the interfer
ence of conscienceless amateurs.
One of the immediate results made
necessary by the activities of irrespon
sible operators Is the abandonment of
the famous "C Q D" distreBalgnal;
and the development of the wireless
as a toy has resulted In the sending
broadcast of vile messages.
Wireless telegraphy has become such
an important institution that it is es
sential for the government to check
the abuses that are already growing
up to its discredit and to the destruc
tion of Its utility. If relief can be
given by the establishing of an expert
board with control of all mediums of
wireless .interchange, that would be a
simple expedient. But if more drastic
measures are necessary congress
should not withhold its hand.
In spite of its enormously expensive
filtration beds, Philadelphia finds its
city water supply so vilely odorous that
it cannot be used for drinking or cook
ing purposes, and is even offensive for
bathing. The muckrakers will charge
that it is the natural result, of munici
pal corruption, but the matter has
passed the Joktng stage, for the house
holds are seriously confronted with a
famine of potable water and the own
ers of springs and distilling outfits are
reaping a harvest. It begins to look as
though the city would have to follow
the example of New York and build
costly aqueducts into remote sources of
supply instead of pumping from nearby
rivers that, with the concentration of
population, have become open sewers.
Philadelphia's plight emphasizes the
fact that water is the prime essential
of all comfortable living, and that no
precaution should be omitted to make
its supply wholesome and safe.
We must not Imagine that other
countries are not up to snuff. London
has a governmental school of instruc
tion in the gentle art of being a colo
nist, which haa elicited the admiration
of visiting cowboys from the United
States. There the English lad is taught
how to rough it in the Australian bush
and on the Canadian ranch, and the
government's graduates are found to
be fitter for the ordeal of emigration to
the rough places of earth than are
many of the boastful youth of our own
land.
It is now in order to begin to charge
the home storage batteries with a full
quantity and prime quality of patience,
for the census man is getting ready to
come around with Uncle Sam's imper
tinent questions. It will be harder to
look pleasant than over the reception
of those Christmas gifts that you didn't
want, but more compulsory, for there
are legal penalties attached. And re
member that the census taker has the
troubles of everyone In your block,
while you have only your own.
The moral hazard of the' protective
tariff is Just now receiving a great deal
of attention. It is hardly likely that
smuggling operations are more exten
sive at present than formerly, the
reason for the apparent Increase being
the unusual efforts of the customs offi
cials to detect and run down evaders
of Import duties. With the more en
ergetic enforcement or the law Is cer
tain to come a greater respect for the
law, and out of the activity of the cus
toms officials will grow a condition
where smuggling will become a lost art
in the United States. Uncle Sam pro
poses now to InslBt on rigid honesty In
the dealings between his nephews and
nieces.
The United States Steel corporation's
offer to allow Its employes to subscribe
for a specified amount of its preferred
stock, at the highest price that stock
ever attained, is a doubtful privilege.
The workingmen employed by the com
pany would, perhaps, enjoy some con
cessions of a more definite character.
Profit-sharing Is an excellent means for
settling differences between labor and
eapltal when it is placed on an equita
ble basis, but when it involves the ven
turing of the worklngman'a hardly
earned savings through investment in
stock at a price never attained on the
open market it loses much oflts at
tractiveness. A good deal of prominence has been
given to the fact that the ships bore a
multitude of gifts from America to
other lands, but tt should be remem
bered that the Joys over seas are only a
fragment to the myriad happinesses
borne to every part of our own land
through the medium of the malls. The
carriers staggering under their con
stant burden during the holiday weeks
were a visible attestation of the na
tional habit of gift-sending to distant
friends. Santa Claus In the domestic
mails is a vastly more prodigious per
sonage than St. Nicholas across the
seas.
Why Thta Silence f
Kansas City Time?.
"I told yon so" la the purport of Com
mander Peary's comment on the Cook ver
dict. If thlB la true, wjiy didn't he ay It
so Homeoiiu could litar him? Why didn't
he mention the matter lo the reporters?
Blafflnst Bill.
Indianapolis News.
Home additional economy might be ef
fected In the government print shop if
some way could be devised to prevent con
gressmen fr6m Introducing bills which they
as well as,cvery body else know will never
get farther than the committee they are
referred to.
Nnrpaaslng- Railroad Mystery.
New York World.
A Nebraska man has figured out that it
cost him $i7.50, Ubs 25 per cent, to send a
Ipony 350 miles by exprese, while a Jackasa
of the same weight can travel in comfort
for $19.80. leas 25 per cent. The mystery of
freight clarification has ever been beyond
the ordinary human Intellect
Aa Overworked ladnatry.
St. Louis Olobe-Democrat.
The five republics of Central America
have an area of 176,000 square miles. , a
population of 3,000,000 and a coast Una on
the Atlantic and Paclflo of 1000 miles. But
as long as their chief Industry la revolu
tion they will be a burden to themselves
and. a menace to other countries.
. i i (
lleroea of Civil Life.
Nw York Tribune.
That is a fine showing of practical anJ
efficient heroism which Is made In the re
port of the life Raving service, telling of
1,73 marine disaster imperilling the lives
of 8,!00 persons, with only thirty lives ac
tually lost, and also of property worth
$13,316,815 aaved. Of the exertions, perils
and self-sacrifice of those who did the work
no report could adequately tell.
Sennit for the "nboellnr.
' Philadelphia Record. '
The Immigration commission sent forth
by congress has been hashing tip and chew
ing over the results of scientific Investiga
tions of racial development and changes
for the last hundred years and more. Then
the commission has crudely, and In many
respects falsely, applied their results to the
Immigrants to tha United States. The
worst of It Is that all of this stuff will
be accumulated In several volumes by the
public printer and then consigned to the
aubcellar of the national capltol with the
rest of the pile of waste paper.
, PERSONAL AND OTHERWISE.
It was the Panes, not Homer, who smote
the blooming liar.
Billing Christmas an Saturday lends an
aspect of delicious repose to the day after.
The Hon. Knud Rasmussen has another
guess coming. And there are a host of
others.
The aweet tooth of the Ksklmos Is in no
danger of decay from excessive chewing of
gumdrops.
A Bt. Louis seer bodly declares that there
will be no lawyers In heavens. That Is to
say, no St. Louis lawyers.
The late Mr. Leopold of Belgium affected
the beard of a patriarch, but It waa not
esteemed a seer Bign In Paris or else
where. Dr. Cook "told It to the Daneji'f all right
And the Danes didn't do a thing to him,
which shows the danger of responding to
an encore.
Tha marked activities of Americans In
the Medicine Hat region of Canada may
explain the prematura scattering of front
In tha adjacent territory.
Enterprising brokers, appreciating the
American hunger for pie, propose to register
the foreign built confections and Import
them under tha law admitting ancient
Works of art duty free.
As It appears now the difference between
Peary's and Cook's literary efforts Is tha
difference between hiotory and fiction. In
popular estimation fiction beats history a
mils. -
Tha social altitude of New Tork swells,
as revealed In divorce courts, Is measurable
by tha number of highballs and cocktails
disposed of In a given day. Four cock
tails In the morning are esteemed a fashion
able eye-opener.
The Milk trust of New York City, feeling
annoyed by Inquisitive state officials, cut
short Its acquaintance by moving into New
Jersey. Prom the off aide of the river the
trust can milk, the town in mora artistic
fachlon and no questions asked.
"Endless fields of purple snows," w;ote
Dr. Cook In describing tha pole. "No life,
no land, no spot to relieve the monotony of
frosts." A slight change in the color
achama of Die atiuwa, and tha pictuie
presents with photographic accuracy tha
doctor's present situation.
Thomas V. Cooper, a state senator of
Pennsylvania, met death aa tragically as
Congressman Da Armond of Missouri. A
nap on a couch, a lighted cigar, and In
flammable draperies constituted his funeral
pyre. Mr. Cooper was a civil war veteran,
a newapaper man. and a stalwart, pugnacl
oua poltlciau.
Sight
Draft
at
Maturity
Tolf Hanson
The Equitable Life was organized to my losses nnd not
to withhold flainis from widows nnd orphans or deserving
creditors. Jjossos do not disturb us in tho least even on n
doubtful ease we are always looking for a. justification to
pay, rather than for opportunity to dispute.
Here is another letter that will rather tend to help us
in our business:
COURTNEY & CO.,
GROCERIES
OMAHA, NEH.
Onmlm, Neb., Dee. 18, liKR
Mr. II. 1). Xeely, Manager,
Equitable Life Assurance Soe-iety,
Omaha, Neb.
Dear ISir:
I have received from your hand draft in full Im
policy of $25,000.00 on the life of Tolf Hanson.
' I have now a praetiea) demonstration that a
policy in the EQUITABLE is a 4 4 Sight Draft at Ma
turity." 1 hand you today my application for a policy
in the sum of $50,000.00 and I shall not forget to tell
my friends where to bjiy insurance that insures.
Yours very truly,
C1IAS. It. COURTNEY.
TREASURER'S NO.
17031
NEW YORK,
THE EQUITABLE
Or NEW
PAY TO THE ORDER OF
Twenty five Thousand
THE EQUITABLE LIFE ASSURANCE SOCIETY OF THE UNITED STATES
T. M. Bailey M. M. Murray
mfott coHrntouu
EQUITABLE LIFE ASSURANCE SOCIETY
OF NEW YORK
PAUL MORTON, Pres.
"STRONGEST IN THE WORLD"
H. D. NEELY, Mgr.
Merchants National Bank Building, .... Omaha
SERMONS BOILED DOWN.
It's ulways easier to give your lif- than
It I to lve your Iflaurc.
aettlnf to heaven Is a good tfal moro
than backing up from liell.
Our rood deeds seldom bear fruit until
we have forgotten them.
Grace Is free, but the religious niuti ned
not be free from grace.
If your religion Is sunshine you will no,
need to argue about II.
No man sees anything- as it Is ui:le ln
sees that which Is not.
The heart without fellow feeliig can have
no room for divine faith.
The way to the sorrow free land is to try
to free some life from sorrow.
There Is a lot of difference between good
will and willingness to be good.
Often you must forget the good you have
won to reach the good you would be.
The measure of love Is not whether U
drains your bank account, but whether
it draws on your heart. Chicago Tribune,
SECULAH SHOTS AT PULPIT.
Charleston News and Courier: A Chit-ago
bishop says: "Our, congregations come an
milliners' and tailors' dummies." No
chunoe for a collection from folks like that.
New Tork Post: When a clergyman can
make a great sensation by sermon on
the chances of a prlietlghter getting back
Into form, It la no wonder that the theo
logical students at Chicago demand that
Hebrew be dropped from their curriculum.
It la a pure waste of time.
Charleston News and Courier: In preuuh
Ing on woman and her sphere, a minister
recently declared that the average man
"will choose a woman who, in after years,
will love a baby more than a bull pup,"
We may observe that women never get
the bull pups until after they are man-led.
Boston Herald: Emperor William of Ger
many no longer has the center of the stage
as a preacher-ruler. The Kooseveit pace
and fervor as an evangelist are fast being
rivaled by his successor, who has the art
vantage of a diplomatic record at the
Vatican as well as en evangelistic tour of
the Bowery and good standing among the
heterodox. We may not have union of
state and church In this country.but we
are coming to have much more outspoken
advocacy of religion by statesmen.
- DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES.
Visitor Isn't either of your parents homo,
MMaria No, ma'am. Ma has gone for an
hour S sitting at the photographer s sn1
pa has gone for an afternoon's straddle on
his horse. Judge.
"Hal" said the haughty muld of mll
., ..u... awiit mi- hair of
linns, III ytui vvir ,
gold, my ruby lips and my teeth of pear
"'.L "l- - A.. .. , mlirhtv dollar."
Ay" said the poor, but proud, lover,
"It was a scent I meant."-Iitiltiinor Amer
ican. Miss Loftelgh-There are some social
chasms that cannot be bridged with gold,
MMrLrnibb True; but If you have enough
of It' you can fill them In. Bust-on Tran
crlpt. "Parker and his wife have st-prat'd."
"What are the terms?"
"They each gel. their cook for six
months." Dlfe.
"I love you! Will you marry ni?"
"This is so sudden!"
"Well?"
"Give me little time."
"How much timer
"Enough to go Into the library and ask
papa." Cleveland Leader.
Mr.. Nagvby You know vary well you
were perfectly crasy to many me.
Mr. Nsgsby 1 admit It, my dear; but tt
loss paid? Yes!
f VOUCHER NO
4937
Dec. 16, 1909
TRUST COMPANY
YORK
Charles R. Courtney
($25,000)
DOLLARS
ASST. IFEASCHm
-J
We Sell 100 Kinds
Mineral Wafer
We will pell i.ver ! kfnd.i imported a:-. 1
Am'rlo.m Mineral Waters, ami. ns wt nil
tain direct from pprltigs or Imp-ii-trr, -ii i
guarantee freMinem and genuineness.
Boro l.lthia Water, but.. SOc: rase. fi.iA
Boro IJthiii Water, pint.", doren. jl.Hr.
Ci se, WO, fw.on.
We are distributing agents In Omaha fu;-
the celebrated waters from Excelsior
springs, Mu.. : ltd sell r.t fallowing prloe.4:
Kegent. tniait bottle, 25c; dozen, 2.,;
case, 50 buttles, $,.nf).
Sulpho-KHllne. quart bottle, 25l rloaen,
t2.lh;; ca.se. ."H) botfles. 1.00.
Hulpho-f aline, quart bottle. Sic; ilo.en.
Ci.ru. i
Soterian, quart bottle. 20c: doren. JMKi.
Soterian, pint bottle, lie; doien. jl.'.O.
Soterian Ginger Ale,. pint bottle, lie;,
dozen, 11.50. '
.Soterian Ginger .Mr, quart botile, Uic;,
dozen. $2.."!.
Diamond I.ithln. lialC-guilon bottle. 40c: I
case, 1 dozen. $4.00. !
Crystal Llthla, 5-gullon lusts, each. 2.00.'
Salt Sulphur. 5-gallon Jugs, each, S'.'.aR.. j
Delivery free to any part of Omaha, (
Council Bluffs or Soutly Omul, a. t
Sherman & McConnell Drug; Co.
10th and Ikxlg; Sis.
Owl Drug Co.
J 6th and Harney St.
vas merely a ease of temporary lnsatilt.
Philadelphia Record.
"Maria, who in the spider leggfii gawk
that comes to see Bessie two or three times
a week?"
"!-, don't you know, John? That's
young Mr. Welloph. the Junior partner in
the firm of Spoteash & Co."
"Well, confound her, wtiy doesn't nhe kuv
him a little more encouragement !"- lil
cago Tribune.
"What a beautiful sight it is, Mrs. Mutes,
to see your two little boys alwas to
gether!" the summer boarder exclaimed, l,i
an ecstasy, on the approach of Bobby and
Tommy Bates, hand In liund. "Such
bretherly love Is as rare s It Ik exquisite."'
Mrs. Bates nodded In pleasant assent.
"I tell Kary," she said, "tliui they're a-.,
Insep'r'ble as a pair of pants." Youth's
Companion.
THE DINNEE AT GRANDPA'S..
W. I). Nesblt In Hurpers.
When Christmas was w'y, we all went
To gramma's house, 'cause grampa h
Is got a leg 'at s stiff an' bent
'I th no Joint water In his knee.
But he don't care: He say some, folks
Is scarce o' legs not got a pair'
My grampa cracks a lot o' Jokes-
An we et Christmas dinner there.
My gramma all her hair Is white
Mke snow is. but It Ian t cold.
An' gramma say 'at my hair might
Be white, too. when I'm Jut as old
My papa say we must be nice,
But gramma call my papa "John '
An' say we don't need hie ad-vie.
To put our comp'ny manners on.
I Ilka my gramma 'most th' same
As I do mama. Cousin Ixu
An' Cousin Fred an' Cousin Memo
An' all the others they do too
My gramma a hi-red girl, she cooked
Whole lots o' mincemeat pie, an" make
Mora Jelly! My, bow good It looked!
An four-five dirrunt kinds o' cake!
Nen all o' us we all sit atlll
While grampa look down at hia plat
An' talk about th' he'v'nly wllj-.
An" It la pretty hard to waltf
He help us children first, an" fill
Our plates llli turkey etuffm', ton.
An' gravy, till It almost spill
Off o' th' plate on Cousin Jou!
Oh, yes! We had plum-puddln", made
O' lots o' things, an' set on fire'
But ain't nobody is afraid
To eat It. An' we all ad-mire
Th puddtn' 'cause my gramma keep
It tnos' a year to have It there
An' nen, w'y, I'm gone sound asleep
Klgut at th' table, In m chair!