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TTIE OMAITA SUNDAY KKK; DECKMBEK 10. 1000. 3
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The First Snow.
By CI. neve Col. Are.! 11 Tears. Net!gri,
Neb. Red Side.
Th mow waa falling silently
On the black top towering high;
On the topa that stood lofltly.
Keailung so near the oold gray ky.
It covered the walks and porches.
It carpeted field and lawn;
Covers trie bird who hops and iftrtlm
His food in tha early dawn.
The chJldren get happy nd rorry.
And want to be off and away,
And their cheeks get red as a cherry.
Aa they glide along io tha rleigh.
The house wives are glad for cool weather.
And hurry to finish their work.
B'it ihey all have more to do. whether
They do It ail quickly or shirk.
Trie Ice gets froxen and covered.
i Ana me snow get iJwiKeu Bitu Biiu,
' But from it the sleds are severed.
And then to tha hill goes each skiff.
Tha children play on until the nlyht fall.
And thnn to their homes they all run,
Aa thev bear tha sound of their mother's
call,
Whn the hilltop covers tha sun.
for tha dear child Jesus, who was bora on
that day.
She put on a clean white linen cloth
trimmed with lace, some wax candles in
brass candlesticks and a statue of our
blessed lady. Just at her feet she placed
a straw basket wherein lay the blessed
babe, and then she said, "I have not a
single flower to give Thee on Thy birthday.
Koe stepped out Into the snow and ran
Into the garden. She knelt down and
prayed and when she finished a bright light
shone before ber. It was God Himself and
lie said. "Child. If thou will but keep My
commandments I would rather have It than
all the flowers in the world.
Lost on the Prairie
By Francis Shea, Aged U Years. 3sl W
street soutn oniana. Red side.
When May Went Hunting Indian Graves
M
Jf wT a'
i iaai
v.) V'..yai
nrtr i.n the afreets. One dav when the
children were out on their Journey they A few years ago a party of workmen had rnonths little Joey and May were obliged
panned a store a here there waa lots of Ju,t finished their day's work In due of o remain at home when the weather w as
By riortnee Xsvis.
AT S father had often (rone to
the little Kansas town on busi
ness, but it was In the early
fall that he had rented a com
fortable house situated in the
outskirts of the town and
moved his family Into It. for he and his
good wife had decided that their little
"on and daughter, Joey and May, should
have the advantages of the graded school.
In the sparsely settled district where
they lived the schoolhouse was so far
from their home that during the winter
the western stales, when a violent snow- severe
terra earn on. They set out for their All about the town broad prairies
camp, which waa In a large grove in an stretched away, the line of vision being
extensive prairie nearty twenty miles dls- lost In blue haze. And little May, 7 years
tant from any other tlmberland. old. would look with longing eyes toward
The wind bl;w, very hard and the anow the west where a low range of hills held
waa falling so fast that they oould hardly much of mystery for her. She had heard
see each other. When they thought that her father tell of the many Indian band
thty had nearly reached their camp they that had roved over those prairies long
suddenly noticed marks of footsteps in the ago and had camped on the basks of tha
anow. wild little creek that found Its way among
On examining these with care they found the hills. And also May had heard of the
to their dismay that they were their ewn terlble Indian and white-men battles that
tracks. It was now plain that they were had been so desperately fought anions-
I will try to help them out, so after the iwt on the great prairie. those hills and of the' many graves
children were asleep out the dog trotted. ir they had to pass the night there in the which held the remains tnd belongings
He went over to the shop and looked cold, drifting snow, the chances were that of the red-skinned" savages. And she had
around a while. Then out In front he they wouid ail perish before morning, heard of how men had dug Into some of sent me to bod without any supper, and
spied the things the children wanted, so While the whole party stood shivering with those Indian graves and found treasure In when Christmas came I didn't get the
when no one was loklng he picked up the cold, at a Joss what to do, one of the party the form of feather head-dresses, beads knife I wanted. Oh. it doesn't pay to be
pretty toys. "Ob, what a pretty doll,"
paid the little girl. "Oee, but I wish I
had that drum," said the boy. That night
when they got home their mother gava
them some bread and milk to eat and put
them to bed crying. They had asked If
they could hang up their storking and
have those pretty toys, but the mother
said "no," we are too poor to buy any
thing for you children to play with. We
hardly have money enough to buy things
to eat The dog understood why the chil
dren were crying and he said to htm.elf.
JOEY, DID TOU EVER RUN AWAY FROM SCHOOL?"
Why should not she go there
"Mother said God would forgive me If treasures.
I got on my knees and confessed my
wrongdoing. And I did It, too. So I guess
God -forgave me; but father didn't. He
might be "delivered out or the wiuerncji
acd out of the house of bondage." She
repeated the strange word which came t
her. for she had heard them In the churclt
or the Sunday school, and thought thev
sounded very grand. Put at the end of he?
prayer he cried out from her heart: "Oh.
Lord, lead poor little May back to mother!"
Then fresh tears flowed, but her heart
felt lighter and. rising, she turned down
the hillside. As she did so a dark object
appeared on the road quite a long way off.
As it drew nearer Msy beheld it to be a
farmer's horses and wagon. In the wngnn
sat a man, who, on noticing the little chili
standing beside the road, reined In hla
r.ortes. "Waal, how-dy-do. little one," he
grinned. "Where did you come from, an. I
wh.it be you doln' away out hero tw
milts from townT"
May told every word of her. story.
gave her father's name.
"Ah, I know your pap well," declared
the good farmer. "Come, Jump Into the
wagon and I'll tote you home, t pass by
your house goln' Into town. But. say.
child, don't you know there's not a sign
of an Injun grave In these parts any more?
Been gone forty years, I reckon. Why.
it's been so long ago that the red fellows
was buried there that if you found a grave
tliere'd be nothln' In It but dust But
never mind, lots of grownup folks hunt for
thinps harder to find and, of course, never
git 'em."
Thus the fanner consoled May as she
sat beside him In the wagon, a horse
blanket wrapped snugly about ber. And
and dig into one of the graves and take
from lj some of the beautiful beads and
feathers? Tes, she would go on to the .. . ... h ,tooied at
hills. She outht to get there In a short
time, for they seemed so very n-.-ar.
her own gate, arid there she saw her
rr other coming out her eyes frightened.
Owning Up
By Annie Wardlan, Aged H Tears. 12
North Twenty-seventh Street, South
South Omaha. Red Side.
Jenny Smith was a duffer at arithmetic
there was no denying that But today a
wonderful thing had happened she'd man
aged to get all the answers right to her After that they
four really hard sums. Santa Claus.
"Bravo. Jennyl" said her teacher. "Tou're
getting on."
But somehow Jenny didn't look very
pleased, though she had always wanted so
much to be clever at doing sums. And
you would have thought she'd have been
more pleased than aver at getting them
right today, because she waa the only
one who had done so.
At least she waa until Mary Faulkner
brought ber book up.
"Why, Mary, you've got all your sums
. right too, today!" said the teacher In as
tonishment for she knew that Mary
wasn't any better than Jenny at arithmetic
as a ml.
Now Jenny and Mary had sat next to
doll in his mouth and carried It home.
Then he went back again and got the
drum. When he got back home he pulled
down the slocking that he saw the girl
put up and lucd to in.k tno dull in. lie
got it half way in when ha fell asleep.
He was so tired the next morning when
the children gtt up they ran to their stock
ings to see what Santa Claus had brought
them. Soon the boy saw In his drum the
dog's teethmarkj. Then they knew that
it must have been the dug that got them.
Once her mind wan made up May ran w,)en ghe h6r mtu daughter she
caught sight 01 a particular horse they naa ana spear neaus. Ah. to possess some of naughty or disobedient" And Joey along the road as rast aa she couia, going thrW up ner hands, exclaiming, "Thank
with them which waa known as old Jack, those beautiful strings of brilliantly strapped up the mouth of the schoolbag. towards the hll!s. She waa soon so tired Gud m. chl;d u nere.- Then a May ran
ii any one, no enm, tu muw our aiiu m on a learner neao- Then slapping on hla hat ana overcoat, ne running, however, that ene was oDiigea
way out of this blinding snow eld Jack dress which had doubtless been worn by started toward the door. "Say, Pis, I to pause to rest a bit; but she continued
rnp " .And o he d'd. and showed them " little girl papoose would give her won t wait for you," he aald. "I want to her Journey after a few seconds. Aft-r na1
Into her arms and the farmer drove on,
the ashamed little girt confessed that she
the way to their camp.
A Hard Test
uch Joy. Of course, her father had ex- , - i,i T..m &n.l Ted.lv before
plaiaed that the atlrring events of which th 1ut t,, rmgs." Then bethinking hlm
ne told had happened a very long time Mlf ne turned toward the door leading Into
ago; but to May a "long time ago- meant ... v(.-.h .n-i .ni n.,t- a.v Maie.
few months or years perhaps only
last winter, for she was too young to
realise the full significance of time.
So as the fall days waned May dreamed
By Anna Popp. Aged It Years, 1024 Norm
1 wenty bhsv entu street south Omaha,
Neb. Red Side.
The boy was 12 years oid. All he knew
.1,-ai. rallM4 their Aiiw ...... .i : u .
v - - , ,u, ii uicio i..u7 u.i and dreamed of the interesting relics of
school, with a lot of play, and three months m paat raca that were po8,iblT t0 De Rot
of play, and no school. for the trouble of digging among the dis-
This vacation was to be a little different tant blue hills,
but the boy didn't know it. But ther, waj the schoo, whfch mfi
"tome on. son. I need your help, sa d 0 much of mt,e m Ume ghe nd
the father one evening after his own days Joey bad been enroe(1 on tn openl
day, and neither of them had been ab-
the kitchen and called out: "Say. Maggie
don't let May be late to school. You know
mother went uptown with father thla
Why The Indians Went Away.
By Oeorge Nicnotoon, Abbott, Neb., Aged
U years, blue biue.
Once upon a time a family lived out
west They lived near some Indians and
the Indians did not like the white people.
work was done.
up to our flat."
The boy opened
1 want this dirt carried
hla mouth wide. His
each other, and when their teacher noticed w b to ou- Wnen 016 ubr
this she ealled them both to her.
so one day they crept up to the houe of father wanted him to carry baskets of dirt
the while peuple and they saw tne little up three flights of steps. There was a
baby Bitting ouutlde the door. They crept qUeer feeling of resentment all about ln
up to w here the bauy was anting and they si(ie 0f nim.
"I can't carry dirt" ho eald.
"Never too late to learn." said father,
good-naturedly. "Here, you take the
lighter basket"
Up the stairs went the boy. The air waa
close and he got hot and breathless.
Down he came again. The dirt had to be
sent or tardy, and May was her teach
er's favorite. If It could be said that
teacher dared let herself have a favorite.
away from school and told the
a long, haid time he reached a low h.ll whole atory from tne minute she left her
which belonged to the greater range far- own home till she returned to It.
ther on. Here she decided to begin search "Oh, dearie," said the mother, leading
for an Indian grave. After looking about May Into the house, "I Just got home a
he found a knoll-like spot over which few minutes ago, and Maggie and Joes
matted some long dead moss. Deftly May's had come In for luncheon and asked why
morning to do some marketing and left little hands tore away the grass, but the you had not been at school this morning
May In my care. Iil leave her In yours." ground was so hard that she coud not get thought you might have taken toothache
Then away flew Joey in the direction of into it with her fingers. Some enow lay after he left I ran to question him my
the school house. about drifted Into the low places, and the self. He said you had not been at school
"All right Master Joey," answered in(j waa rather sharp, coming from the that he had not seen you since he left the
Maggie, the maid-of-all-work. Then she north. But Mav knew that she would get house this morning. I waa Just rushing
got May's Jacket and hat and packed up warm working and set about hunting some
sort of implement with w hich to dig. Luck
ily she found a strong stick one which had
doubtless been left beside an old campflre
years ago.
But after working till her
her books for her. "Now, little dearie, you
are ready for school." And the good
servant patted little May's need and re
turned to her work In the kitchen.
took her and ran awav to ineir camp,
where they kept her for three days. Then
they sent a note to the child s parents.
They said: "We know where your baby
la and if you will iiiy tMt to u we "ill
and mother read this he sent a note back
"ITm very much afraid," she aald. "that a"ig ioey wuuiu pujr ui mtrj ui. aug ana snoveiea inio me oasaeu ne grow
one of you two ha been copying." Tn9 Indians took the baby back and got hotter and the perspiration began to trickle
w .. h. I,.. M.h.l the money, but as soon aa they not back down bis back.
and when ber teacher aaw this she said:
"Was It you. Mary?" -
And the little girt sobbed and cried, and
waa too frightened to deny It so the
teacher sent Jenny back to her seat and
took Mary to the head mistress.
And when all the classes were together
before going home there stood poor Mary
In disgrace. She was close beside the
head mistress, and everyone whispered and
nodded as they talked to eac,h other about
what she had done. When she appeared
outslfe the school later on they pointed at
her and called her "Cheat!" But do one
to the camp were alraia tuey wouia get "The boys are playing dji. I m going
caught o they went away to anoUier over." he said at last with impatience. "I
part of the country. can't shovel dirt"
"All right my bey," said father; "but
' I'm disappointed In you. I had expected to
When JOhn gOt LOSk find you able to stick to a thing. I counted
By Dorothy Taylor, Ad butt Neb., Aged on your help, too; but It's all right; go
year. x.ue oiue. ahead and play ball."
Long ago before you and I were born The boy washed his hands and went over
svme people lived in Wyoming. They had into the next yard. It was the first time
little girl and boy. The boy waa named he ever remembered feeling uncomfortable
May went out of the house, drawing on dig furiously.
Often after school May would accompany ber red woolen mittens as she walked. Her hands and anna and back ached she had come in
teacher as far as her gate, for their way bookbag waa over her shoulder. "If God made scarcely any impression on the half- y .t-.,
iay in me same direction, and while forgave Joey lor running away, .sne mused iroxen groana. ana utgau iu itci uisi-uui-
walking together May would ask count- as she passed out at the gate, "He would aged. Then fear seized her. She looked
less questions of teacher about the Indian forgive me, too. And as for a knife at about expecting to see the town In the dis-
wars and the customs of the fierce, dusky Christmas well, I don't want one." Then tance, but In following the road hither she
people who had once reigned over that Instead of going up the long street that had made many turns and no habitations
part or the world. led to the school house. May turned In an of any kind could she see. She dropped , t . v i j - ,
Ons morning after May had been dreased opposite direction and ran along beside the the stick and ran farther up the hill, stop- pUniihmenL And I know God will forgive
oign neage, wnicn prevemea saaggie irora ping to iook aoout ner. not a nouse was her if she never does so any more,
aeelng her should that good soul look from to be seen on the prairies. She must have never, never will be naughty again,"
the window. gotten lost Aa this thought came to her gai, May. Then, wiih tears streaming, she
After getting well out of sight of the
out to give the alarm that you acre stolen
or loat when up you came in the farmer's
wagon. Oh, child, how Joey, Maggie and
I were frightened!" And the mother
J . 1 .L.l. nr.,4 n " A ..r. fmn.
With the stick May began to "' - " '" "-
ner eyes.
"Sis ought to have a whipping." declared
in time to overhear
ay s story, "haughty gins ana boys
need to be punished."
"Sister's been punished enough," said
Mother In a low voice. "And she has re
pented of her wrongdoing. And she baa
seen how she made brother and mother
for school she asked of her brother Joey,
who waa putting his books Into his school
bag: "Joey, did you ever run away from
school?"
"Yep, onct" said Joey.
"Acd did Qod forgive you for doing it?"
queried May.
bouse. May sat down on the roadside. Her
eyes turned In the direction of the hills,
among which lay the sunken Indian
she sat on the ground and began to en-, threw herself Into her loving mother s
Oh, what had she done? Then she sud- arms, where she wept out her naughtiness,
denly remembered that one should always And pretty soon Maggie brought in a big
pray in distress. With uplifted, tear-stained slice of bread and butter and think of it!
graves, keeping their own secrets and face the poor little girl prayed that she spread with Jam.
a gala day In the Morris family. Besides proud fowl. Mrs. Barnes beamed up with half-eagle, the Barnes were most gener- his mother who was a hardworking woman.
grandparents, aunts and uncles who were Joy and exclaimed, "Being you gave such ously provided for with warm clothing. She washed for her living.
to partake of a tempting turkey-dinner, a generous basket of food, please take this fuel and food, and I don't know which Thanksgiving was coming and what
Joha, aged four, and the girl named Mary, when playing ball. Tonight it wasn't much e minister's family waa also to dine with fine turkey which the association has sent family waa the happier," the one upon could she do. She had no coal and It waa
a-ed 7. One day the little boy strayed fun. Pretty soon he left the boys and them. For this reason, mother was busily us, aa that fare is far too expensive for which waa lavishly showered a whole sea- very cold and the snow lay on the ground
far from his home. His father sent nine went upstairs to his mother. By and by l.e engaged in preparing dainty salads and a us:" son's necessities, or the one which wit- in great quantities. She had to have some-
noticed Jenny Smith, who stood by her- men to hunt for the lost boy. When John came down, rolled up his sleeves and went huge, golden pumpkin pie, finally filling Roland's eyes were overbrimming with de- nessed the grave, serious minister Jump
self In a corner, looking and feeling as was found and brought back home his t the' shoveling. and basting a turkey so enormous and light, and he accepted the offer with much for surprise and dismay when away at a
na iatner nau yiannca a. nine iwucu majestlo In sue that Maybeiie, Roland ana thanks. You may be sure that Mrs. Morris Thanksgiving dinner, do you7
for the fire escape corner. It took a lot Chester smacked their Hps to satisfy their was more than rrateful for the turkey.
miserable aa a girt could.
And no wonder, for she had been ttie
cheat and hadn't the courage to confess,
so Mary had suffered because she was
such a nervous little girl. But Jenny
made up her mind to tell the truth to
her teacher that afternoon and she did.
Of course, she felt dreedfully ashamed of
herself, but the head mistress said It
mother took better care of him.
Learn to Obey
By Bruce Taylor, Aged 10 Years. Abbot,
Neb. Blue bide.
Once upon a time, John asked his mother
if he could go swimming. His mother said
that the water was too sold aud be might
of dirt.
watering mouths. Cook had placed the and, as we shall preoently see. It proved
At last the work was done. Father and
son washed themselves and got ready fur
supper.
After sunoer. when the father had
get cramps. He did not obey hi. mother. trK.he1 hlmBelf out for a pleasant hour
The boy sweated and puffed. He blist- robbler on the pantry window, preparatory an excellent subititute. At once the gobb-
ered his hands: but he StUCk. , ,,n,Hn. 1m,. h hen ivnnrnl t let- nut In fh nvan with i.l.i.n. . r
The Butterfly
was only fair to M.ry to explain thing, t then ,er. . lot of othef golng,
before the whole school. and when they s:ot there one boy measured -r .. ..k., i..-m .v . .i v,.
Though Jenny passed through a terrible
ten minutes while the explanation was
going on, aba felt quite llghthearted aaw
happy when It was over, because the knew
she bad done whst wss light And she
never forgot how much harder It Is to
"own up" when we've tried first Of ail to
escape telling the truth.
ana wnen they got there one Doy measured -t .Uesa. father." he said with an air haJf
the water. It waa deep, and alter they ashamed, and yet of new manliness, "I
had been swimming a while one of the guess it waa a good thing for me to do
boys called, "help! help!" It was John, something that I didn't want to do."
He had cramps, and one of the boys threw Father held out his hand. The boy
him a line. After a while they got him grasped it with a strong grip.
out After that he always obeyed his "I'm mighty glad I stuck, father,
mother. the bov.
"Good for you," said father.
nervous and excited over an uninterrupted tlclpetions, and by the time the guests had
series of accidents that morning that she arrived, the table fairly groaned with dell
had neglected giving Carlo, the pet dog, cacles. To grandpa fell the task of carv
hls breakfast ing the turkey, who, although Inanimate,
After the guests began to arrive Mrs. looked very kingly as he proudly lay there.
Morris asked cook It the turkey had been The minister waa ' first to receive bis
put In the oven. Like a flash. Cook flew share, and afier all were provided for, then
to the pantry, when lo! There it did lay, began the feast. But all of a sudden, some
half torn to pieces, and dissected in a one yelped, "Ob, Oh!" This "someone"
most barbarous fashion. Who was guilty? was no one more or l-sa than the dlgnl-
Just then you could have seen Carlo run- fled minister, who bad. In eating a piece
said nlng stealthily through the back gate, for of toe elegant turkey, bitten into some
well aware was he that his chosen break- thing so hard that his gold filling came
fast had resulted rather seriously. out. Would you believe that what ha had
By Mabel Houston, Aged 9 Years. 3U1S
North Sixteenth Street Red S.de.
There is one gay creature; do you know
who he is? It is the butterfly.
He fills among the flowers in the run
shine all day long.
One day the queen of the butterflies was
going to have a party. She invited all the
rest but him. The night of the party he
came in and said: "If you don't give me
some dew and honey I will kill you." S i
they pave him some, but he was an unwel
come visitor.
Poor Jack
The Dog Santa Claus.
Altar Flowers.
thing for Jack.
One' night as he waa lighting lamps, he
saw a bird laying on the ground atirf. Jack
took it home and made a bed for It At
last it opened its eyes and began to flutter.
Jack's mother let it go.
The next day Mrs. Byron, Jack's mother,
received a letter, it had 1.5 in it Now she
could buy coal. The next morning Jack
got up and saw a cheerful fire burning.
He had liver, pickles and bread for Thanks
giving. The Birds
By DeEtte Hardinbrook, Aged 10 Years,
Omaha. .Blue Side.
One day as I was going to my grandma's
house, I saw a beautiful bird hopping on
tli ground. ,In a few nilnutta it picked
up a crumb and flew up in a tree on the
edge of a limb near a nest. Then I saw-
By
Emma Breesman,
Omaha, Neb.
1431 Krr.mett Street
Red Side.
By Cecelia Shea, Aged 11 Years. XSli
Street bourn Oman a. Red Side.
Once upon a time there was a little girl
u A Good Thanksgiving Joke
Mrs. Morris, In her deepest dismay, was bitten Into was a ID gold place, which the By j.. WaJeri J40 N-orlh Twenty-eighth ,inla blra hopping on the edge of the nest.
A long time ago there lived In New York who loved God very much. She had a small
a poor family. They had two children altar In her room, close to her bed. On
By Frances V. O. Johnson. Queen. Aged 14
Years, Sol North Twenty-fifth Avenue,
Omaha. Neb. Blue Side.
It waa Thanksgiving morning. In the
Street Lincoln. Red Side.
There was once a very poor boy, named
and a dog. The children bad to go around Xmas morning oerore going to onurch she kitchen was to Be near a the rattling 01
and galhi r things to eat and wear by beg- would make it look pretty to show her love pans and dishes, for it most certainly waa
fortunately very self-composed, and coolly charitable association had secretly placed
sent Roland over to the Barnes' family inside the fowl to fpring a grand surprise
with a Thanksgiving basket as was In- on the poverty-stricken family. The dinner Jack. He was a Tilnd-hearted lad. He was
tended. then proceeded with nothing very thrilling, so poor, that In fact, he had haidly
He arrived at his destination In a very save that Maybelle upset a cut-glass tumb- money far matches,
excited state, and after giving the basket, ler, much to her embarrassment. His father died w hen he was a bt y.
told Immediately the sad ending of the The next day, after gladly returning the This was very unfortunate for Jack and and its mother.
As soon as its mother saw her little bird
she hid the crumb. At last the little bird
saw the crumb and wanted it, so th
mother bird gave it to htr. Ai t!-.? mo
ment my grandma, called mJor dinner, sa
uiai was wii met 1 saw or the little bird
Selections from the Story Teller's Pack
t'kru. CovllaHty.
T a dinner In Denver Judge Beo
A a . linuejr Vwm m .v.
I Christmas conviviality.
I There used to be an CM fel
low of be said, "who got
arrested about twice a week
for conviviality. He was always haled be
fore Magistrate Blank, and as the mag
istrate waa about SO, too. a queer kind of
comradeship, almost friendly, . arose be
tween the two men.
"In the late autumn the toper was called
away from Denver. He did not return till
Christmas time. The convivial Christmas
spirit la the orisp Denver air was, ot
course, too snuoh for blm, and the day
after his return be was baled before the
usual magistrate 00 the usual charge.
"The magistrate, la the green festooned
court room, felt kindly and forgiving.
s " 'Well. George.' he said to the prisoner,
"you an her again, at UstT
" 'Yes, your honor,' said eld George
humbly.
- 'You've been away (ohm Um. haveo't
irour
' " Tea, tour honor, alga aa to three
months.'
'And how suaay times, George, did yo
get auuk during Ue period?'
- 1 dont Ilka to say. your honor,' eld
Oeorge faltered, "before ail these here peo
ple.' " 'Well.' said the magistrate, take paper
ai.d pencil and write It dew a.'
"So George wrote, and tke paper waa
I aseed up to the magistrate, who looked at
and said:
' 'A. well. It'a the Christmas season; and
;: ce you were away three saontha. Oeorge,
ar.J only got drunk sixteen times, I'll let
you off.'
1UU jrwtb Ju4V aald old QsMtga. aa
he left the dock. 'You looked at the paper
upside down, though.' "Denver News.
Averted Treable for All.
The other day Magistrate Carey had a
rase before him which he decided In a
novel manner, but one which was entirely
satisfactory In both sides of the contro
versy. To foreigners had become In
volved In a dispute. Each had the other
arrested and wished that each other be
held In bonds to keep the peace.
When the case came before Magistrate
Carey each side had a large number ot
wltneseea and few of them could talk
even understandable English. The hearing
of testimony bad only begun when the
magistrate asked prosecutor No. 1 hots
many witnesses he had. After a count he
gave fourteen as the namber.
"How many witnesses have you got?" ha
asked prosecutor No. 1
Thla man counted and tha answer was
fourteen.
"It's a tie." pronounced the magistrate.
And he told both men to go home and err
ae more. Philadelphia Press.
I BdereattSMttBC BU Ability.
H. W. Klausvmao. chairman of tno re
publican city committee, teila m stjry about
a bass drummer of a band that be swears
ts true. Tha drumu er was a German, lit,
with the other member of tha band, waa
on an excmraloa train, and tha tickets they
had were about four feet long (that la.
four feet of ticket per roan. 1 feet for the
whole forty-piece band), boon after Hana
was seated comfortably tha coud actor
earns by for the tickets. Hans reached for
his. Horrors. It was gone. He grew ex
cited and searched and spluttered, but all
la vain. Ha declared he bad lost tha
ticket
"Why," ventured tha conductor, "jrou
couldn't have lost that ticket. It was four
feet long."
"Vass IbsT Vy you dalk like dose?" de
manded Hans excitedly. "Vy, ouce I lose
dat tdrum. I could loose a teeket If I looso
beem!" Indianapolis Star.
Kept His Word..
At the banquet to the humorist orgail
sation given by the Buffalo Chamber of
Commerce a Chicago visitor told how a
resident of his own town had lost a watch
In the streets of Buffalo and then hur
ried to the nearest police station to report
the calamity.
- The sergeant listened to his story with
respectful interest
"You may rest assured, sir," he said to
the Chicaga man. "that we will leave no
atone unturned In our efforts to recover
your property."
Two years later tha Chicago man was
In Buffalo again. He looktd around at the
Buffalo street and then hurried to tke
police sergeant
"Why, sergeant" ha cried, "I see you
kept your word, but I didn't expect you'd
uar up all of 'era!" Philadelphia Record.
Her Eaperteaew Waa Ample.
The attractive young lady who bad writ
tea "urgent" on her card was shown into
tha eosutulting room of Sir Chopphara
Fyae. need of tha fame us surgical hospital
In Splintshlre.
"And what Is tha matter with you?" said
the great man.
"I wish." aha answered, "to beeoine a
nurse In this Institution.
The surgeon tapped a thoughtful tooth
with bis lance. "First -ne question: Have
yu had any previous experience?"
She dated blm with a reassuring aiulle.
"Experiencer she cried. "I should just
tluak sa. Twa of my arotbara piay fewt
ball, another has tried to cross the chan
nel In an aeroplane ot his own make,
mother Is a suffragette and fattier keeps
a motor car." London Tid-BiU.
Habitat of the Ball. '"
T. P. O'Connc, the witty lrUh parlia
mentarian, discussed at a dinner l:i New
York the bull.
"The bull." said he, "Isn't confined to
Ireland. It was an Englishman, you know
an Englith Judge who, being told by a
tvamp that he was unmarried, replied:
'W ell, that's a good thing for your wife.'
"And it was a French to!dier who, sleep
ing in Ms tent with a stone Jar for a
pillow, replied on being asktd if the Jar
wasn't hard: "Oil. no: I've stuff -d it you
see, with bay."
"And it was an American politician in
New York who cried the other night from
the tailboard of a dray: 'If we remain
silent the people will not hear our heart
rending cries!" New York Star.
Fixed to Stay.
One of the friends of Representative
Martin of South Dakota was making a
strenuous complaint to Mr, Martin about
tue manner In which committee assign
ments were given In the senate.
"A new senator, however, able he may
be. has no chance." said Mr. Martin's
friend, "but If he's a thousand years old
be can fet the best committee Job."
"That reminds me," said the South Da
kota member, "of what Sih Bullock re
tuarked to ma when I took him over to
the senate one time. Aftr looking them
over Seth said: lW. Martin! That looks
like a soldiers' home In there.' "Rochester
Herald.
1st Badaertasj Lawyer.
"The badgering lawyer frequently suc
ceeds only In afording the witness an op
portunity to display bis own wit at the
counsel's aapense." said Fred 8. WUe, a
lawyer of Philadelphia.
"An actor waa before the poor debtors'
omirt in, a westera city, when ts testified
that his only assets were his salary aa a
member of the local stock company.
" 'But you must have something else,'
said tl.a prosecuting counsel. Tell the
court wliat else J'uU Lave.'
" 'That's all.'
" 'What? No personal property 7"
" 'Oh, yes; a dog and a watch.'
" 'Now, think hard,' persisted the coun
sel, believing that ba . waa on the right
track. 'What else?
," 'Well,' suggested the sctor, 'I have a
ease of rheumatism.' "Washington
Herald.
Am (arretted By Willie.
Secretary Robert D. Argue of the board
of education tells this story::
"A teacher in the primary grade of a
Newark school was instruclng her class In
the composition, of sentences. After a talk
of several minutes she wrote two sentences
on the blackboard, one grammatically
wrong, the other a misstatement of facts.
The sentences were: "The hen has three
1 11. Who done it?"
" 'Willie," she said, 'go to the blackboard
and show where the fault lies In these two
sentences." ,
"Willie did so. To her astonishment he
wrote: The hen never done it; God done
it.' " Ntark Star.
I Agreed Wllh tke taart.
A lawyer came into court drunk, aheu
tlm judge said to him:
' Sir, I am surry to see you In a situa
tion which is a disgrace to yourself and
family, and the profession to which yon
belotig."
This reproof elicited the following col
loquy :
"Did your honor siak lo me?"
"I did sir, I said, sir, that, In my op.nion.
you disgraoed yourself and family, the
court and the profession by your course of
conduct."
"Maybe ir i it please y-ur honor, I have
been aa attorney In In la this e-eourt
fwr tifieea years, and. permit ma to aay.
your honor, that this is the first coiTect
opinion I ever knew you to give." Dundee
Advertiser.
Kasy
Maglstra
glstrate Hughes or Philadelphia, who
is known fur and nide for his wit and
good, sound Judgment in disposing of cases
that come before him daily, vias sitting In
his office at Slti Tacker streei a few days
ago when a young man rushed in. He waa
excited and out of breatii and was without
a hat.
"Judge." he ejaculated, "I am in a I-'k
of trouble and I iu.t you 10 help me out
of it If you can." r t
"Well, let's htar what It is." repll'-d the
iragistrate. Said tlA troublous one:
"Living in my houw with my wlfo and
m- Is my brother and his wife. We both
have babies and thev look so much alike
that I'm afraid we have them mix-l.
"I think my brother has n.lne and I have
his. Each baby has black hair and blj
eyes and one tooth. They are dresned
alike, too."
"Are you sure they are twisted?" asked
the maulatrate.
"Am I sure of It? Why, I am positive."
was the quick reply.
"Well, then," suggested the gr-mal Ju.lgJ,
"if that is the case, why not go home and
exchange them."
"That's Just what I'll do," aid the
anxious father, and be hastily departed.
Everything must be lovely tiur, for the
yourg man has not been swn since by
Mr. Hughes. Philadelphia Telegraph.
Hill Met Mis" Match.
Running front Kpokane to - Newport,
Wash.. Is tha Idaho at Washington North
ern ral'road. built by its president. A. F.
Blatkwell, who made his money tn tim
ber lands and builds railroads to sl.pw
how well tl can be done.
He built the first interurban electric
out of tlp.jkane. relates the Saturday Even
ing Post After Selling It to tha Hill In
terests, he built the roads which be now
owns, and which was tha only railroad In
Washington for which the (state Railroad
and Warehouse commission could find no
Improvements to suggest
lilackwell is now building au extension
it his road from Newport to the Metallne
mining district, a particularly Inaccessible
region, which, when It gels transporta
tion, will rival the. Coeur d'Alene district
in the production of lead and silver.
When James J. Hill visited Bpokajie last
summer he ir.et Blackwell. "I understand
you intend building a road down the Pen
d'Orvi.le river," was his greeting. "1 do,"
was the qult resuoiiso of the timber king.
"But I pian to build a branch of tha
Oreat Northern down there." ."Then there
will be two roads," was the equally quiet
reply. The Blackwell rosd la the one
that is being built
Vt IthoaTtrrJadlea.
Mayor Coughlin of Fall River, speaking
at a recent banquet, told a story about an
oid Fall Ruer abolitionist.
"The old boy." said Mayor Coughlin,
"went to the theater in Boston one night
and saw 'Othello.' Ills knowledge of U.a
Bard of Avon was limited; he had ho Idea
that the hero of the piece was a white man
blackened up.
"Well, after the play was over, a friend
asked him what he thought of the actors.
He cleared his throat and answered de
liberately; " 'Wall, layln" all sectional prejudices
aside, and puttin' out of the question any
partiality I may have for the race as seen
durited If I don't think the nigger held his
ow n wl'h any on m.' "Boston Herald.
tealda't spare Aay.
"What's the baby crying about?" asked
the fashionable mother.
"For a cake ma'am." replied the nurse
girl.
"Well, give her a cake, for gracious' TiTa
and stop htr noise!"
"But there isn't any cake in the house,
ma'am. Will I give her ti;e of Whiskers'
dog cakes?"
"Goodness, no! There are only five of
tberu left for dear IllUe Whiskers!"
1'ui.kwi ajtsleamsa.
J