14 'HlE .OMAHA t)AILY FOUNDED DT EDWARD ROSE WATER. VICTOR ROSE WATER. KDITOR. Fntered at Omaha pontofflce aa aeeond laae matter TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. rMy Fe (without Sunday), oni yr..WJJ0 Pally H and .Sunday, on year TKL,IVFRK.I RT CARRIER, pally Be (Including Sunday), per week..lc Dally itae (wl'l.out Sunday), par week..l1c Evening (without Kunflay). par weak Evening He wl(h Sunday), par wk...l'c Burday Bp, oria year , W Saturday Hee, on vaar 1" Addraes all complaint of Irregularities In Olivary to City Circulation lcpartnint. OFFICES. Omaha The Bra fiulldlng. South Omaha Twenty-fourth and N. Council Uluf fa 1(1 Scott Rtrea. Lincoln 618 Little Building. Chloego 1&4. Marquette Building. Naw York-Room 1101-1101 No. 14 Wwt Thirty-third Htrort. Washington 726 Fourteenth Street, N. W. CORRESPONDENCE. Communication relating to nw end edl torlal matter should b addressed: Omaha Baa, Editorial Department. REMITTANCES. Remit by draft, express or postal order Payable to Th Be Iubllshlng Company. Only t-cent stamps received In payment or mall account. Personal, check. oept an Omaha, or eastern exchangee, not accepted, STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION. State, ef Nebraska, Dougia County, Oeorf B. Tx&uhuck. treasurer of The Ba Publishing Company, blng iluly wom. ay -that th actual number at full and eomplet eople of Th Dlly, Morning, Evening and Sunday Be prime during th raontn or iavembw, iu. waa a jouow. l...t 48,070 1. 1 43.000 17. 41,330 43,130 41,00 ,,. 48.700 II. 4 . . . '. 43,100 It 41,330 4,4M 10.. 43,170 11.. T......... 40,040 2t.. 1 41,30 21.. t 43,10 li.. 41.360 40,340 41.330 41,730 41,780 1 41,830 21 41,700 1...( 41,760 It 43,630 II 41,790 14......... 40,100 II ........ . 41,800 Total 21 ST 43,340 41310 U 40,400 21......... 41,350 JO 41,830 . .188,880 8.848 Returned Cop la Nt Total.... ..1,343,008 Dally Average 41.73 QUO. B. TZSCHUCK. Treasurer. Subscribed In my presence and sworn to before ma tbl 1st day of December, lwax (beeli . . .14. f. WALKER. 1 Notary Fubllo. serlbrre leaving; the city ( yerarlly afcoald hare . Tke , Baa ma 114 t (Jbasa. . AMru will chaa;d aa aa eaetd. Quack, quack, Wackt Ob, put that strike off at Buffalo! Th weather man evidently doesn't care... . . The Arctic eiplorm silent T .Don't wake 'era up. 1 America once picr.e la stung to har bor such a poet's tongue. If you are going to do it early you fcav only a little time left: Preserved eggs hardly sound nice, however, t'hef may appeal to he other senses. Dr. Cook seems to be particularly unfortunate in the choice of some of bis friends. , Farmer Wilson failed to note that this was also th banner year for the affidavit crop. r - If Ig Dunn doesn't want to crawl, this sort o weather would give him a fine opportunity to slide. , Chicago daale the daughter of Krupp, and it is safe to say that the baroness dazzles Chicago. Any American who craved a Nobel prize and didn't get It, may reflect that " Tia only noble to be good." That Captain Loose talk about Dr. Cook, may prove to be only the frayed fragments of a sailor's' yam. However, the national legislators evidently are finding that Mr. Taft's cold Is in his head, not his heart. A Michigan mau claims to have been cured of rheumatism by a dream. The first thaw Is likely to cure him of his dream. Th new anaeathetic la said to per mit a patient to look on and talk while the doctor operate. But what patient want toT Had it not been for the prevailing fashions, would that suffragette have been able to squeeze herself Into an organ pipe If those walstmakers on strike make th kind that button up the back, mere man will be apt to hope they never resume. How ready th railroad president is With th plea of poverty! At the mere threat of strike he threatens to put tap, not wages, but rates. While New York state is listening to the voice of the milk combine In vestigation, let It not deafen lt ear to th 111 of the town pump, , Surgeon Oeneral Torney presents himself in the guise of a real diplomat when l boost the hookworm with out knocking the soldier who ba It. With fhe Prairie permanently planted la the Delaware, will congress continue to regard that as a navigable stream or a acreage to be reclaimed? After all. that horseback upset couldn't bave deranged John Drew se riously, for it doe not appear that his lialr wa tna4 or his mustache dis arranged. , Mr. Jitney now proposes to sua Mr. Crocker for Ull. o"a ha'not know that th man who goe Into the court to get a reputation seldom come oat luserocked? . Hill'i Message to F&rmeri. James 3. 11111 Is still active in his self-appointed tank" of urging the farmers of the west to work with more earnest effort to better ends. To the charge that Mr. 11111 Is selfish In a de gree In this work may be answered that h Is not the sole beneficiary of th result of hla crusade. While It is true that he has profited directly by the Increase of production of the terri tory served by the railroad of which he is the master mind, it is equally true that millions of men and women have been benefited Just aa directly. The northwest, from the Mississippi river to the Puget 8ound, owes its develop ment to th policial end persistence of James J. Hill a much aa to any other one cause. The message Mr. Hill brings is not to th pioneer farmer, but to the farmer who has established himself on the eoll, and who 1 reaping golden harvests every year. The message Is simply that of business methods prac tically applied, to agriculture. Th railroad magnate has tested these method in his own affairs. He has Increased the hauling power of hi lo comotive and the carrying capacity of his car. He haa speeded up th men engaged in the business, and has done all, perhaps, that might be done to in crease efficiency and decrease unit cost of service, and the result of thU effort ba proven not only to Mr. Hill, but to all who have watched his progress, the correctness of his 6onclualons. Now he proposes that similar meth ods be applied to farming. Mr. Hill is a pioneer in this work, and for this reason hi voice should be heeded more carefully than tnat of those who have followed him. Other railroad men have seen the wisdom of hla course and have undertaken to convince the farm er pf the necessity of better way to till the soil. Agricultural experts from the colleges have lectured on seed selection and soil preparation and other rudimentary propositions, and much good has resulted. But the work has only commenced. Mr. Hill' proposal that a band of young men be sent out from th school each planting season to per sonally instruct th farmer . in the matter of seed and soli Is an excellent one. No money could be expended from which the returns would be more certain or more direct The pity Is that It is necessary at this time that such fundamental knowledge should have to be dinned and hammered Into th farmer of the west.. The message of Jam? J. Hill should be . given greater attention than it ever was be fore. Modernizing" Warfarn. . Every new invention in the matter of firearms is seized upon as the hauls for a freshening of the argument that the modernizing of warfare will make battles ao deadly that wars will be come impossible. The Maxim silencer Is a case in point. Yet Brigadier Gen eral Crozter, in his annual report as chief of ordnance, eliminates the Maxim device aa a factor by recom mending that it be not adopted by th United States army. General Crozler'a objection to the si lencer Is that its use would, while eliminating much of the notso of firing, betray the troops to the enemy, as on damp or cloudy days the slow escape of gas from the silencer be comes visible and assists the opposing force in locating the firing line with exactitude. , The fact remains that all effort to modernize warfare thus far have failed to remove tho elemental from the field of battle. Borae Inventions, such a the rapid-fire gun, th high-power rifle and smokeless powder, have taken their place among the permanent de velopments of combat, but many others, as in the case of the silencer, have failed to establish tbelr value, and so long as men have occasion to go to war they probably will be guided much as In the days of old, by the de sire to kill, concerning which all , the modern Improvement devised to date have failed to establish any material differentiation of new battles from old. Government Inhumanity to Heroei. The seasoned surman who at the risk of hi own body sates ships and Uvea in the bitterest of seasons and the most deaperat of weather come In for popular plaudits with each re curring tale of heroism in hi line of duty, with never a reflection that the government which employs him makes no provision for his morrow. The shameful facts are emphasized by Secretary MacVeagh of the Treas ury department :u hi, recommendation to congress that ija system of pen sions for those disabled or superannu ated In the llfe-eavlng service be pro vided. So niggardly has the govern ment treated these men in the past that It is now difficult to find new re cruit, a fact which might serve a suf ficient argument tor a pension pro vision as a matter of policy, if not pf huma"5'ty. ( As the case stands, th Treasury de partment is compelled to thrust out upon the world men who, in devoted service to the government, have be come Incapacitated for earning a llv ing In any private vocation, men who have to their credit deed of aelf-sacrl- flce that have honored the nation. During the last year the life-saving service labored, with 1,171 stricken vessels, carrying S,00 persons, and In their entire field of operations only thirty Uvea were lost, while 'nearly f 14.000,000 In property was aalvaged. In addition, many acts of humanity v.er rendered, apart from the casual tie to veaeefs, such as the rescuing of 10 person from drowning. There would oem to be much Justice In the THE KKK: , ....in L .ailiiiX. plea that these men be provided for when they are disabled or . exhaust their energies In the service, and the fact that under existing regulations the treasury must eend them adrift as derelicts Indicate the need for some such remedial legislation as that pro posed by the secretary. The Steer to the Rescue. Just at a time when the problem ha been presenting itself of how to augment the meat supply in the face of an Increasing demand which made the packer turn their eye In the di rection of Argentina, the forestry bu reau offers evidence that the matter In a mnasnr is adjusting Itself, and the bureau sees the salvation of the native meat question In the develop ment of the range-bred steer. According to the bureau experts, the current season has seen large numbers of this specie topping the feeder mar kets at all points where feeder steers are sold, and this In spite of the fact that ten years ago eastern buyers pur chased this class of stock only aa a last resort and then rated It at a low price. So thoroughly seems the western steer to be coming into his own that the forestry service Is cultivating hi opportunities and is finding stockmen eager to utilize the ranges In the na tional forest for his exploitation. Hitherto Inaccessible range are being opened, and the experience of the bu reau la that animals fed on the fine, nutritious grasses of these higher ele vations Is sent to the feeder market In good health and with solid flesh. The bureau's enthusiastic review of the achievements of the range-bred steer, coupled with the opportunities for accommodating herds In the na tional forest reserves, may be regarded as indicating that, notwithstanding the shrinkage of the available range through the settlement of the country, the native meat supply la In no danger of exhaustion, for with his modern breeding the western steer bids fair to hold his bwn with the stock cattle whose inferior he was long pppularly supposed to be. The Boxcar and the Steamboat. James J. Hill's attitude on the Pan ama canal and waterways generally is not a surprise. It has been the prac tice of the railroad man from the be ginning to belittle waterways, and from the position of the "top dog" Just now he has a lovely opportunity to bark. But men aa wise in tbelr day and generation, perhaps, as Mr Hill have staked much in the way of prophetic reputation on the utility of the canal, and what applies to the canal applies ywlth equal fore to the twelve-foot channel in the Mississippi river. European experience has proven that , even a three-foot channel gives the box car such a lively chase that It has never succeeded In gaining very much of an upper hold. It would bave been too much to expect that Mr. Hill would give enthusiastic endorsement to the waterways scheme, but the fact that he does urge a comprehensive, rather than a piecemeal, plan is proof that he has studied this a he has other phase of the great social and economic problems that are presented to "modern civilization. Down In his heart Mr. Hill knows that the greatest competitor the railroads can have will be the waterways. Asleep at the Throttle. Report of the wreck of the Boston midnight express while rushing through the darkness at forty milea an hour indicate that the engineer was asleep in his cab, having been ordered to take the train out of New York de spite his protest that he bad been on duty forty-eight hours. ' Under such circumstances, the re sultant collision Is hardly to be won dered at, but what the general public would be Interested to know is how it was pouaible for any railroad official to permit any man in his employ to take charge of a locomotive when so mani festly In need of rest. Th accident happened in Connecti cut, the headquarters of the road are In that state and ther I afforded for the legal authorities of the Land of Steady Habit an excellent opportunity for holding the responsible person strictly to account In this case it would be well to find the man higher up. Mr. Bryan hastens to assure the democratic donkey that he 1 not to be hitched to one large, comprehensive water wagon, but that be Is going to be permitted to pull a numerous string of dinky little water wagons, whose piffling sprinkle will affect only the dust in some Isolated and separated localities and cannot under any condi tions be considered as a general deluge. Just which one of his weather eyes Mr. Bryan has turned In the direction of old Kentucky, where sits "Marse" Wat- terson, "Gathering his brows like a gathering storm and nursing his wrath to keep it warm," cannot be accurately stated, but the signs are that the feeler put out by th great commoner in his recent speech did not strike the respon sive chord he hoped for. Mlnnleoiascot may yet be permitted to serve the thirsty In Goldfleld by capering lightly at th front end of a beer wagon, and the Jackass may or may not haul the water wagon as he locally elects, while th peerlesa leader casta anxiously about for another paramount. Th decision of the Board of Regents to provide appropriate athletic Instruc tion for th young mn and women at tending th University of Nebraska without entering into violent competi tion with schools where athletic are mad a major will b approved. It is well to train th body along with the mind, but th school whose reputation OMAHA, SATURDAY. DECEMBER 11, 1003. rests on the muscular rather than on the mental attainment of its gradu ate la not doing tlie bast work. The prizes being handed out at the Corn show and the prices being paid for prize-winning grains afford a solid basis for th conclusion that some of the farmers at least are waking up to the Importance of better crop. It only remain now for these to assist In th spread of the gospel of getting seed and proper cultivation among those who are still Indefinite. A state league of municipalities Is proposed by Mayor Love of Lincoln. This ought to be a good thing. A close organization of the different communities would unquestionably lead to a better understanding of many questions that are from time to time presented, end ought to bring about better conditions. Eugene Foss is suing his florist be cause hi Easter lilies didn't bloom, but he can hardly expect to recover from the Massachusetts voters because their frost nipped his political bulb. No place on the map confesses to a "usual" season, and the professional winter resort announce, in connection with the weather bureau's figures, that "It never can happen again." The united newspapers of Chicago have accomplished one notable thing for the public good in shaming the "Bath House John" orgy off tho boards. Kamt Suilrrticd. Boston Herald. Tho reputation that Washington made for the Delaware by crossing It has been lost by th Prairie, which got hopelessly stuck on It. Tha Heroic Teat. Washington Post. Stovaine, the new anesthetic, might en able the democratic party to amputate Bryan's stranglehold without interrupting his flow of language. "' M Am Impertlneat Mvtlem. Baltimore News. Senator BaUey moves that congress work at night, Instead of In the daytime here after. Move to amend that congress work both day and night and earn that Increase In its salary. 1 The Jayoas Sandof t, Springfield Republican. David E. Thompson has retired from the office of United States ambassador to Mexico and begun his work aa president of the Fan-American railroad. President Dlas gave an elaborate banquet to the retiring American officer, which the newspapers of Mexico describe as a very brilliant affair, surpassing & similar function lately given In honor of th Chinese special ambassador, Dr. Wu Tlng-fong. An Example Worth Trying;. , Buffalo Express. The new crop of state legislatures will be treated, as usual, to bills designed to re duce sleeping-car service. These measures are among the legislative old soldiers which seldom pregrfss beyond the . ecflnmitte stage.. In Oklahoma, however, where they legislate about everything, the state cor. poration commission 'has ordered a reduc tion In Pullman rates, effective on January 1. The berth rat per night is reduced from 12 to $1.50, and the seat rate Is cut 40 per cent. The Pullman company ha agreed to accept the new schedule, possibly because at a hearing before the commission It was testified that the gross earrings of the com pany In Oklahoma last year were jO,M, and Uia profits 37H par cent. A' TIMELY WAIlTflXO. Some Remarks on the Prophecy of a Prophet. Brooklyn Eagle (dem). "If a central bank Is created. It Is only a question of time when its tyranny will become unbearable." Mr. Bryan I Assuredly. It Is precisely what will happen. Every banker In th United States Is a Nero, as It were, In embryo Ostensibly, he becomes a financier for the comparatively prosalo purpose of making a living; really his design is to depr'va the people of happiness and liberty, to say nothing of llf. With his customary acumen, Mr. Bryan has detected this, lust as he for saw that th army was to b In creased so that the discontented might te held In check at the point of the bayonet when there were full dinner palls only In penitentiaries. There was a wise man who knew more things that were not so than anybody else, with one exception. For further particulars, apply to Mr. Bryan. POLITICAL DRIFT. The Congressional Record has renewed Its lease of life at the old stand. Som New Yorkers without respect for th dead are boosting Alton B. Barker for governor of th Empire state. Governor Stubbs of Kansas cannot slaka his thirst In th Topeka olub house. The club doe not prescribe for eolA water thirst. William Allen Whit may run for con gress In Kansas. It would be. worth the price of admission to see William Align arise and demand recognition by Speaker Cannon. James B. Connolly, a story teller of not. Is talkad for congress In th Tenth, district of Massachussetta. Mr. Connolly would take high rank In state craft Instantly as a d'epenner of fish torles. Threats of a contest for the seat of Con gressman Keifer of Ohio are heard in hla district J. Warren Is ona of the venerable, full dress Institutions of Ohio, but sine tlia bearded prophet, Groarenor, was forcibly detached, most any Buckeye idol may be bowlwd over. Colonel Henry Watterson bets a hot din ner for twelve with the editor of the New York World, that Theodore Roosevelt's admirers will b munslng the sculps of President Taft's supporters by the full of 1911. Th wager is to be decided on oi about th first Monday In December of that year. As a side bet the rolunel will war a breakfast that Unci Jo Cannon will not b speaker of the House of Rep resentatives on that data. No takers. "Former Senator Joseph Benson Foraker of Ohio was at th Waldorf-Astoria the other night." reports the New York Sun, "looking ten years younger than whan ha retired from the senate In March, lit wa rather world weary at that tlm. lit has always been a fighter, but the negro battalion struggle, eoupled with th fight which Roosevelt, put up to hi in in OIU kept him Incessantly at work. Hloo March Mr. Foraker bus spent a great part of tha tiro camping out and retting, and whll h would not discus politic. It wa plainly evident that thla old warhors atlll had In ui his nostril, aud plenty t1 It." In Other Lands BIS X.l-he ea What Is Trass, ptrlag Aaneaf th Wear an !- STatUa ef th . Carta. Tha hone of rome rule for Ireland Is more closely allied with th result of the pending election In Qreat Britain than at any election since Glsdstone's appeal to the country on that Issue. Though not a dlreot issue lit the contest, the question of restricting tha veto power ot the House of Lords holds as well tha fata of hnmj rule as It does all other reform measure of liberal party origin. The failure of th Irish nationalists to participate In th final scant- attending th burial of th h-Veet was not because they loved th lords any mora than their . more radical . li wa ilia exigency ot party policy which make noma rul the auprem demand. Naturally th nationalists do- sire liberal party success, but, as their shrewd leaders view the field, they see In their eighty or mora vote th poaaiblllty of holding th balanoe of power In the new Parliament. If this advantage I realised, tfl purpose of th nationalists 1 to Insist on horn rule aa th price of support of either party. "Th dstlny that doth shape our ends" Is oertalnly shaping th mold In which home rul will be cast, and the hopes and aspirations of a century realised. Rea sons for this confidence ar two-fold: Lib eral party success, if it means anything, means a restriction of the co-equal power of the House of Lords. It la to be expected the peers will not assent to a restriction of their power. In that event it will be necessary for tfce ministry to demand '.he creation of a sufflclunt number of new peer to overcome the present tory major ity. Th most optimistic prophets ot th outcome scarcely hops tor a clear tory ma jority In the House of Commons, In either case a narrow margin would put In the hands of the nationalists the fat of any ministry that falls to glv home rule the right-of-way among reform measures. Lib eral party leaders are publicly pledged; po litical necessities may extort It from the ancient enemy. Dearly as an Englishman Is said to love a lord, few political prophets whose opinion are worth whll anticipate a rush among the masse to assume the tax burdens the landlord and liquor lords de clined to shoulder. That affection, however, 1 expected to furnish a large part of the gain conservative-unionist look for In England proper. Scotland, Wales and Ire land are hopelessly anti-lords, T. P. O'Con nor, member of parliament, who la well posted on the situation, assume that the three divisions will remain practically as they are, politically. The on bop of th Tories to gat a majority, or materially re duce the Liberal majority, la hi opinion Is among the 4CS English cats. "Three hundred and twenty-seven ef lb m." he say, "are at present represented by Liber, als or .labor member. It 1 among these S27. that the Tories must find their ma jority If they ar te get one I don't think they will make serious gains except In London, where the liquor seller is atlll a big power, and where also there Is that love of the wealthy which Is natural In a capital where so much of the profits ot the community are obtained from lavish ex penditure of the rich." - a The All-American exposition which is to open In the German capital next June and continue through July and August, Is going t(J surprise the natives, evidently, judging by ' the feara expressed by 'theoewwpapara. An extensive exhibit of American manu factures, th contrasts 4hat may be drawn from It, and the trad possibilities It may develop, conptltute ground for alarm in interested German circles. The Iieinlsch Westfaclische Zeitung, a trade publication of Essen, attacks the exposition as one most likely to Injure German trade by affording Americans an opportunity to show the excellence of their manufac ture. It calls Prince Hanry of Prussia, an official of th straw, "an agent of Ameri can trade," and expresses a fear of the effect of a contrast between German and American wares. The projectors of the exposition are not In the scheme for amusement or recreation. They are in It for the purpose of extending American trade, regarding Germany aa a fertile fluid for boosting business, iflvery publication which draws attention to the show, even though unfriendly. Is to be welcomed. A megaphone knocker la preferable to a silent one. A Japanese newspaper of .Tokyo, the Jljl, lament the Increased cost of living in a land formerly renowned for Its cheap ness. The struggle lor existence causes the dissolution of landed estates that have befn handed down for generations. In herited habit of idleness among the coun try gentry account for some of thla dis tress. But th change In land ownership my disturb the balance of social affairs in th villages. A pant of the trouble is caused by taxation, whlch has affected the pioaperity of farmers. When all the sev eral forms of public dues are deduoted from tha proceeds ef th harvest, th landown ers' profit ar out down, while at th same Urn th market prices of all commodi ties are rising. On source of expense and cor sequent trouble itnii to be the intro duction of western fashion. Th sons of tenant farmers wear European hats and clothing. Th gentry take to stock specu lation and to the promotion of risky and unfamiliar business enterprises, thus en dangering their estates and perhaps Im poverishing their families. The money coat to France of th war with Germany, in 1H70, as estimated by the French minister of finance, is aston ishing. 11 says It was llO.OmJ.ouu.OuO. Tha indemnity that Bismarck exacted was 11,000,000,000, but that leaves W.Ow.poo.oOO to account for, Th finance minister reckon, of course, on Ui Umi of th actual vont of th military operations during the war, with th indemnity thrown in, and adds Hi money value of all the property and lives destroyed, th paralysis of trade, the latea interest payments on the war loans, tha pension and tha ilk. Altogether, the luude make a staggering total for about one year of war. "What might we not hava dona," exclaimed the flnunce minis ter, in a racetit speech on the French bud get, "for the material and social progress of Fiance, with the lo;oo,oo0,ooo which tha war cost us." . . In dustrlal association hava been organ lied lu several parts of Ireland fur th n voursgetneut of native manufacturing and th protection of Iilah-inads goods against foreign competition and spurious Imita tions abroad. Th principal ln-4ar In bi movement Is probably th Irish Industrial Ueveloprnent association at Cork, which has registered an IrUti national trade mark, adopted by many Irish manufactur ers, and serving aa a guaranty of bona fida Irish production. Thus such wld:y Imitated good a Irlbh ciochat, llnan and poplin can b protected to some extent against foreign counterfeits. The associa tive also has In hand the prosaoutlon of persona who represent alien goods as Irish made. Thar wa no greater here In the work cf reaoue in tha dlaaatar of the Paris charity baxar flra In May, 1W, than aolumi.ri I o Economizes eggs, flour and butter; makes the biscuit, cake . and pastry more appetizing, nutritious and whole some Tt:sc::iY Dsklon Powdat tnstdo from Hoy at Crcpo Crcoai of a jpwm. m mym p Sittzjatis ytsr named Leon Desjardln. Time after 'tlm h rushed through the flames and saved some woman who would have perished but for bis brav aid, and although exhausted he did not desist until be found he was carrying a corps. This hero has shared th fate of many another man who has rendered gallant service to his fellow crea ture. Being out of work and In destitu tion, he drowned himself last week In the Seine ahd hla body was identified at the morgu. SMTUgQ REMARKS. "Can you tell me why a god house wife Is like a bad husbandman?" "I suppose, because she Is always sew ing tears." Baltimore American.' "My husband snore so loud that I don't get any sleep." "That's nothing. My husband snores so lmid that he can't even sleep himself!" Cleveland Leader. The Irresistible force had met the Immov able body. "Why, you don't exist!" exclaimed the force. i "And you're nothing hut hot air!" said the body, equally disgusted. By this simple proces t hey found the answer to the conundrum ef the ages. Chicago Tribune. She In what way does your poetic friend show his Inconsistency ? He Sing about th glory of winter, nl howl about the sis of his coal bills. St. Louis Times. There Is only one man or woman In th world who enjoy eating one' words." "Who Is that?" . "The author of a good cook book." Baltimore American. - "Did you have any assistance when von made your appearance aa a singer?" "Yea," answered the amateur aolodst. "There waa a policeman keeping order In the gallery." Washington Star. "Does your wife believe all you tell her?" "Docs she? Say I stayed out all night A Mew Xmas (Ei Hospe's Song Coupon Cards Hera's a new Idea and a elever one, you'll admit. Hoape ha originated a coupon card that entitles the bearsr to -lew, popular aong auccebses, once, twice, or four times per month. For $8.50 you may have a coupon card that entitles the recipient to Bl aong per year, or one a week; for IS.B6 you buy a card that assures bearr of 24 songs, or two a month, and for flit there's a coupon card that entitles the recipient to 12 songs, or one new song success par month. This, mind you, means popular song successes of now, or any new song thst may oome out during the coming vear; It means any new song that sella at 60c or SOc list per copy; 1't means a new way In Christmas gift making. Simply buy a card, aign your own name and that of the recipient, and ther you are. oil 1513 DOUGLAS STRfcfcf. OMAHA. NED. Sense and Sentiment In Gift Giving la beet expressed in practical presents when giving Holiday Eemembrances to men and boys. No store is better equipped than ours to gratify the desires of "him that gives and him that takes." In Shopping for : Men Shop Here "We make a few suggestions below which are sure .10 please "him." Lounging Robes, tsath ltobes, ' House Coats, Traveling Bags, Toilet Bets, Exclusive Neckwear, Mufflers, Tie and Hose Sets, Gloves, Handsome Christmas boxes free with purchases. Do your Christmas ihopping now. BrowninaiCing & Co VR: K cloth 'NTH OMAHA. ft. WILCOX, LI&AAser. , . J ... S I Tartej pua Utl cgalist V recently, playing poker. And I told her we weren't playing for money, and ah believed it!" Cleveland Leader. THE WINDOW WISHERS. Detroit Free Frees. I think that now' about tha time, with Christmas drawing near, To make a plea for all the tots who get but little cheer; The little window wishers, who from now till Christina eve Will gase at dolls and toy and things and steadfastly believe That -Banta Claus, so good and kind, Will surely, someway, chance to find Their little stocking, hung with oare, And fill them whll they slumber there. And they will wander, pale and cold, aad wonderingly they will pause, And tell their wants unto some Imitation Santa Claus, . Who'll take their names and write them down, and send them on content and glad, , ; Believing Santa Claus will com to vry orphan girl and lad; That Christmas morn, beaid their beds. They'll find their dolls and drums and aleda; For poor tots have a faith aa great. As children born to better fate. The little window wisher, It's for them I make a plea. Who mis, perhaps, a mother' lov, or lack a faUier's knee, Who face the nlttnerness of life, through no fault of their own. Who drei&m and hope for all the Joy that other tots have known; It's such a little thing to do, I'm sure It must appeal to you; Peek out soma window wisher hero, Som little heart that yen can cheer. Hunt up some llttla boy or girl, whom Some little one, who la too young to know th truth of Chrlatma yet; Preserve tha simple, trusting faith, th sweetest memory of youth. And save that child the broken heart that cornea with knowledge of th truth. Make some little one your car. Who may awake to grim despair; Some little stocking till, because It may be missed by Santa Claus. Fur Lined Overcoats, Full Dress Suits. Tuxedo Suits, Business Suits, Silk and Opera Hats, . Hole-pr6of Hosiery, Link and Scarf Pin Seta, Fancy Waistcoats, Handkerchiefs. amd DOUGLAS tTREETg '