Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, December 10, 1909, Page 6, Image 6

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The Omaha Daily Kee
Entered at Omaha postofflce as sacond-
alass matter
TttRMsnr Ascription.
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Evening Pee (without Sunday), per week sc.
Evening Kee (with Sunday), per
Surday Bee. one year ,in
Saturday Itee, one year 1 -w
Addree all complaints of Irretrularltlea In
delivery to City Circulation Department.
Omaba The Bee Building.
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Lincoln 618 Little Hnlldtnir.
Chicago IMS Marquette Building.
! New Vorh-Rooma 1101-1102 No. M Weat
Thirty-third Street . M
Washington 728 Fourteenth Street, I. w.
' Communications relating to newa and edi
torial matter addreaaed: Omaha
Dee, Editorial Department.
Remit by draft, express or poatal order
payable to The Hee Publishing Company.
Only t-rent atamna received In payment or
mall accounts. Personal, checka. except on
Omaha or eastern exchange, not acceptea.
Bute of Nebraska. Douglas County. .:
Oeorge B. Tsschuck. treasurer of The Bee
Publishing Company, being duly
aaya that the actual number of full and
complete copies of The Dally. Morning.
Evening and Sunday Bee printed during the
. month of November. was aa iouowa
43,070 ;
43,050 '
I ' 41,t30 1
10. ... . . .
Total . A
15 41,700
40,100 t tt.
41,800 10.
Returned Coptea
NeT6tal. i. ... .1 . . . .1,343,005
Dally Average. ,....,..' 41,7e
GEO. B. TZSCHUCK. Treaaurer.
Bubacribad In my presence end-sworn to
before me itM lav day of December, lfttt.
(Seal) v ' M. P. VVALKKR,
Notary Public
f bacrlbera leaving; tae city tem
porarily koaltl kave Tke Be
nailed to theai. Address will be
ehaaa-eil aa often aa reqaeeted.
After.'theplUBu bat, man Is capable
of &,'.j!, i?
And now the thud of the fatal basket
ball Is heard In the land.
The copper merger has the appear
ance of-lelng submerged.
The question promptly arises, What
Is the knead for a bakers' combine?
If the aeroplane cannot be made
stable otherwise, why not gyroscope it?
And In the meantime, so far as ana
American heiress Is concerned, no lord
...T.'iwn.! iui . -
need apply.
1 ,
Keep in mind the zero spells for the
ice man when he talks about no crop
next summer.
New York puts up with the six-day
bicycle race, but Butte cannot stand
for tho'Marathon waits.-
Oaynor may be making up his own
slate, but it looks as though Murphy
were supplying the pencil.
Leave it to a referendum vote of the
ultimate consumer and there will be
no general railroad strike.
The pooling of the wool crop in Ken
tucky may bo only another excuse for
the activities of the Night Riders.
The Iron box concealing the Cook
trophies at Copenhagen forms a wel
come relief for. the brass tube.
The ship of state launched by the
last democratic legislature In Okla
homa seems "to have run on a hefty
1 With' his coUBtuntly recurring law
suits, Boni must be. almost as much of
a nuisance to Arfha as before the di
vorce. While the women are decorating the
waterways, let them not overlook the
opportunity for beautifying the canal
boat niuli Vl
mT , :
Does the county attorney prosecute
for and in the name of the people, or
for and In the name of the Dahlman
Zelaya seenis to be as competent a
suppressor of truth among his follow
ers a was Castro. The end is likely
to be identical.
Governor Hughes has appointed a
mountain climber to the supreme court
bench, but no Polar claimant has yet
landed the ermine.
If Zelaya thinks Mr. Knox doesn't
mean It, let him read back In the files
about that Atlantic City scrap in which
a Pittsburg rowdy was routed.
Congo natives who have suffered
from the Belgians' . tyranny may now
draw lessons from the spectacle of Leo
pold confronting the king of tyrants.
The South Omaha Commercial club
has for Its slogan, "Kill the knocker."
If they will only succeed-In doing that,
what a service they will render the
The young . woman missing from
Kansas City has been located not very
far from the Nebraska state capital.
Sh was looking for quiet, and knew
where to find It.
i v S '
The courts have decided that the
neighborhood of J. P. Morgan Is. not
.''iviuslirVJ. evldeuljy cqnsld6rln hat
If i really wished to make U so he
could readily buy It up.
Oar Vait Beiourcet.
The National Monetary commission
may be considered to have rendered a
marked service to the country In com
piling so completely the united bank
resources of the country, for its
method of taking account of stock 1b
more strlklDg in Its results than any
tabulations hitherto shown in the cen
sus reports.
For the first time the American citi
zen Is able to grasp the immensity of
the resources of the various banking
institutions of the nation, exceeding
twenty-one billldns of dollars, and cov
ering actual deposits of fourteen bil
lions at a given date. The Individual
share in this vast investment is $213
per capita in the entire United States
and Its ' Island possessions, and it
should be a matter of state pride that
Nebraska's per capita exceeds this av
The significance of the commlsfelon's
report must come home to the thought
ful citizen as demonstrating the urgent
need for devising some permanent
method of administering and safe
guarding this tremendous capital. It
is the greatest object lesson yet of
fered In the campaign of education
that the commission devised to lead to
currency reform. Such a fiscal giant
should not be left at the mercy of such
flings of misfortune as In the past have
crippled It, and it must be evident to
all that the best method for bulwark
ing the banking interests ought to be
discovered with as much speed as Is
consistent with safety.
Canada 'and Annexation.
While the liberals are having their
own troubles in England, those in Can
ada seem to be having everything their
own way, for they have Just demon
strated strength enough to indicate a
complete change of plan in the matter
of naval enterprise. It is now evident
that the Laurler government has suffi
cient votes to put through its proposals
for the construction of a fleet of cruis
ers and torpedo-boats and for the sub
sidizing of shipyards and drydocks.
But these, It appears, are to be used
exclusively for the dominion's interests,
and will not be a contribution to Oreat
Britain as originally proposed.
Sir Charles Tupper, former premier,
may be held partly responsible for the
triumph oij the Laurler policy, for at
the last moment he came forth with a
recommendation that Canada's war
ships should be Its own, and not a
part of tho imperial navy, coupled with
the warning that it was time for the
Dominion to recognize the danger lurk
ing across the borders, that of annexa
tion, his conservative spirit seeming to
have been stirred over the fear that
the United States contemplate forcible
seizure of the country to the north.
This is . the second time within, a
few weeks that .a distinguished Can
adian has set up this cry of, "Wolf!"
and one cannot but marvel at the fright
that the bugaboo seems to inspire at
Ottawa. Sir Charles Tupper may be
right in his claim that the fixed policy
of all parties in the United States ' Is
for annexation, but on this side of the
border that at present is not what one
mlgbt term a dominant issue, and if
there 1s any-general desire on the part
of the American people to present the
Dominion territory to Uncle Sam, it
will be as some future ChrlstmaB gift,
not this season. We might want to
marry Miss Canada, when she grows
up, but we have no Intention of doing
any kidnaping, Sir Charles!
The Public's .Share of Guilt.
While pointing a finger of scorn at
the sugar ring, let us pause for a mo
ment and see what- the cold-blooded
government thinks of some of the
other offenders. The voice Is that of
the secretary of the treasury, and he
minces no words in summarizing his
views of the general evils underlying
the customs house disclosures.
The influence of local politics comes
in for Its share of denunciation, as pro
motlng that "laxity and low tone which
prepare and furnish Inviting soil for
dishonesty and fraud." The secretary
is undoubtedly right in his conclusion
that "unless the service can be released
from the payment of political debts and
exactions, and from meeting the sup
posed exigencies of political organlza
tlons, big and little, it will be impossl
ble to have an honest service for any
length of time."
But offensive partisanship In the
customs is not so clearly shown by the
secretary as Is the general public's
share of guilt in the demoralization of
the service. Mr. McVeagh makes
clear that the widespread disposition
of returning American travelers to
evade the payment of customs duties
has greatly helped to create the condt
tlons wh'lch have become Intolerable.
"Those Americans who travel abroad,
he says, "belong to the sections of peo
ple which most readily create public
sentiment and are most responsible for
it; and the fact that in so many tn
stances these travelers are willing to
defraud the government out of consid
erable or even small sums, creates an
atmosphere on the docks that strongly
tends to affect the morale of the entire
customs service. And when to this is
added the frequent willingness upon
the' part of these responsible citizens
specifically to corrupt the govern
ment's men, then the demoralization
Is further accentuated."
In other words, the secretary of the
treasury convicts the American peopl
at large of being a nation of smugglers
The virus of this trait has been in
man's blood from the day of the first
excise law. How tolerant of Its exist
ence the race has been, the American
himself does not realize until the U
confronted by the dUrry of such an
amazing development of It, and then
he realizes that any form of smuggling
on lesser scale as well aa on greater. Is
fraud against the government and
gainst the citzen who pays his honest
Will it Be a Whitewash t
TheT" Hoard of County Commissioners
has had before It for several days the
results of an Investigation of a scandal
at the county hospital. The stories
told the board were most circumstan
tial, and contain direct charges of not
only scandalous, but criminal, conduct
on the part of some of the county em
ployes. After hearing all the testi
mony the board took the matter under
advisement. .
Just what there was to give delib
erate consideration may be summed
up In one of two propositions.
Either the witnesses lied or they told
the truth. As the employe most seri
ously accused is reported to have con
fessed In detail tne crime charged
against him. It would seem that In his
case, at least, there was very little to
deliberate over.
The county attorney declines to go
out of his way to take cognizance of
the conditions developed by the inves
tigation. Is the matter to be hushed
up, or will the authorities go to the
bottom of it, even if it should result in
the removal of a democratic pap-sucker
from his position at the public trough?
Wirelesi Development.
While there is criticism that we lag
behind other nations in the matter of
military aeronautics, it is evident that
we are up with the procession in that
more useful service, wlreloss teleg
raphy. It must be a matter of satisfac
tion to the citizen who favors cultiva
tion of the latest scientific equipment
for the defensive service ot the nation,
that tho navy Is about to embark on
one of the greatest of tests to demon
strate the possibilities of wireless de
velopment. What the navy Is striving for Is an
absolutely , reliable system that will
transmit messages for at least 1,000
miles under any and all conditions,
and for 3,000 miles under favorable
conditions. Two vessels, the scout
cruisers, Birmingham and Salem, are
already equipped with apparatus de
signed to accomplish these results,
and if they demonstrate the trust
worthiness of the plan, then all the
ships of thenavy are likely to be
equipped with similar devices.
The two fleet vessels are to make
what will be practically a tour of the
world, exchanging messages constantly
at a distance of at least 1,000 miles
from each other, in all waters,' In all
climates and weathers. They are also
expected to maintain . communication
with shore points 3,000 miles distant.
The program Is such arv ambitious one
that the results will, not be known till
late next year, by which time the Navy
department hopes to be able to demon
strate to the world that it has uttered
the last word in wireless efficiency as
applied to men-of-war.
No proof was required to support the
proposition that Nebraska badly needs
a new state capitol building, but this
will not lessen the regret that valuable
books in the state law library have
been Irreparably damaged by reason of
the insecurity of the room in which
they are stored. To provide proper
housing for state offleemr and records
is a most Imperative duty and cannot
be much longer evaded.
Parisians are likely to frown se
verely on the violation of the code in
Bolivia, where one dueling senator
killed the other. On the same date
two famous Frenchmen aimed thejlr
pistols at each other, exchanged kisses
and honor was satisfied. Oh, no, a
Parisian could not live in Bolivia.
What a pleasant, picture of co-opera
tive housekeeping is afforded by the
governor of Kansas throwing his
kitchen open to his neighbors during
the cold spell! Natural gas may cease
to flow, but Sunflower Stubb's milk of
human kindnees goos on forever.
Even during the stress and discom
fort of the weather man's unaccounta
ble behavior, Omaha citizens can find
some grains of consolation In reading
reports from Kansas City and other
nelebborlng communities. It is not as
bad as that In Omaha.
The New York Board of Education
has barred foot ball from the public
schools of that city, notwithstanding
the plea of the game's supporters that
the rules are to be reformed. The
board evidently wants to see the refor
mation first.
Of course, James J. Hill knows that
Nebraska Is not always covered with
snow, and besides, he has encountered
cold weather before. But the warmth
of the welcome he receives in Omaha
will more than offset the frigid climatic
The gentle spirit of levity has
broken loose again among our co-eds
tn the east, where a girl who rooted for
the wrong team was painted red and
thoroughly iced, thereby demonstrating
the admirable qualities of her bazers.
The fact that yellow is to be substi
tuted for white In the signal service of
some of the railroads does not alter
the standing of the yellow journals.
In the newspaper world white will con
tinue to be the signal for safety.
Omaha is closing the year at an In
dustrial and commercial pace far ahead
of its fastest former, gait. The In
creases In every line of activity prove
jthat the growth of the, city has Just
tcgua .-..
I. a it's Delays.
rv Mnlnea Register and Iveodor.
The stouaeet part of the messa la that
In which he deals lth the ne'rtW d'Mays,
apix al and costs of l;al procedure In the
t;nltr-d States. It Is here that he knows his
sround.and he talks with absolute assur
ance. And It Is here that he can do a real
servIO to the country, for If Justice was
ever slow and ooatly, where It anould be
cheap and pedy. It la with us.
raaasart aad Complete.
Sloax City Journal.
Aa a report on "the state of the union"
Prealdent Taft's flrat measaee to congress
la clear, compact and complete. As an
outline of .the administration program It Is
Incomplete, several of the most Important
Items, Including the "paramount Issue."
having; been Irft for future presentation In
special messages.
A Coatraat.
' Kanaaa City Times.
Nothing .better mark the contrast be
tween the present administration and that
Immediately preceding than a cumparlmui
of today' roesaage with the representative
Itoosovflt eommunloatlons to conaresa.
The difference In temptr as well as In
aubatance la strikingly apparent. But It
la a difference for which the country waa
fully prepared.
Heaiarkahle for Oaalaalona.
Chicago Tribune.
The presldent'a message ls remarkable
for Its omtsalona rather than for Its con
tents. It la so' neutral In tune and ho
large a part of it is given to the recital ot
unimportant, nnncontroveralal or quasi
controversial dlptomAtlo questions that It
reada rather like an English speech from
the throne than the mnaaage to which our
ears are. accustomed.
gonad. Virile Doonment.
Chicago Record-Herald.
In characterising the message as a w hole
we should kay that It was a sound, virile
dooutnent. The views expressed tn It are
dearly set forth In a frank and atratght
forward manner, and for the " moat part
they will be Indorsed by the groat body ot
the paopre. But he who la searching for.
highly sensational paisasjoa will have his
labor for his pains.
Reaalader of iMatforat Pledaea.
St. Loula Republic
A portion of the meaaage that will at
traot wide attention la' that In which tha
president reminds the republican congress
of the Chicago platform'a pledge for a law
forbidding, except In emergencies, the Issue
by the federal courts of Injunctions, tem
porary or permanent, without notice to the
parties agalnat whom the Injunction Is
sought. Litigants, especially the leaders
of labor organizations, will await with
solicitude the action of congress on this
Extravagant, E)a lata tea Pared Down
to Actual Needs.
Baltimore Sun.
That the estimates of the coat of con
ducting the business of the government
are more than 1100,000,000 lesa than the, ap
propriations made for the.sajne purposes
last year Is an evidence that President
Taft intends to keep hie promise of econ
omy. It haa been. 1 the established custom
heretofore for each department of govern
ment to ask corigiless for moral money than
was really needed.: The expectation was
that the amoutit aaked would not be
appropriated,- and,, therefore, each depart
ment gave Itself aome rootn to be cut down
A more unbusinesslike 'method could
scarcely1, be devised. A surer way to pro
mote extravagance it would be difficult to
find. Congress ' could place no reliance
upon thfe ' estimates, which were always
misleading. ' '
Under President Taffs direction the dif
ferent departments have furnished con
gress with a statement of their actual
needs, and the amounts, Instead of being
padded are cut down, tt 1b said, to the
lowest figures consistent with efficient
administration. This Is a sensible and
proper method. It shows that the president
Is tn earnest in, his desire to safeguard
louder than words. This practical method
of saving money will be more effective
than pages of admonition In annual mes
sages. It will now be for congress to do
its part of this good work and keep within
the estimates.
I'ndolnur a Combination.
New York Journal of Commerce.
The Rock Island combination Is an ag
gravated txamplc of the holding company.
which the state of New Jersey has Inflicted
upon the country for the propagation of
trusts and combinations In restraint of
trade. The mora such as these can be un
done and defeated In the purpose for which
they were created the sooner can we get
to the solid ground of genuine Investment
and honest corporate management.
How the Troable Started.
Cleveland Leader.
Congresman Fowler of -New Jersey de
clares that "unless the republican party
gets rid of Aldrlchlsm and Cannonlsm, the
people will get rid of the republican
party." It Is only a few months since Can
non dropped Fowler from a much-prized
committee chairmanship, a circumstance
which may have whetted the edge of the
Jerseyman's criticism and clouded his
prophetic vision.
Good Word In Season.
Detroit Frea Press.
We can speak a good word for Chm pay-as-you-enter
car. In the first place, you
don't have a conductor walking all over
your feet and crowding you off your bal
ance so that he cen grab a transfer from
the man Who Cot on by the way of the
front door, and your thoughts urxn't Inter
rupted now and then by a haughty woman
Insisting that "you got my fare half an
hour bko,''
Another Fight Ahead.
Springfield Republican.
The. flrat sentence In Mr. Bryan's Com
moner thla week Is: "The people have an
other fight ahead." They have many
ahead, but the one the Commoner haa In
mind la the central bank Issue. For the
present, there are no slgna that the cen
tral bank question threatens our Hbertle3,
and Mr. Aldrlch tnu.-t be disappointed In
the small conflagration It has caused.
Aastralla Kuani.
New York World.
While many people are grumbling about
the number of Immigrants we are getting,
Australia haa aent an agent to New York
to see If it cannot lure some of them away
from us. And Australia knows!
('a rage Banked with w hlakera.
Bt. Paul Pioneer Presa.
An Omaha judge haa decided that a
barber Is not a profeasional man. Doubt
leas that Judge wears full whiskers and haa
his wife iU his hair, otherwise he would
not, dara talk that way.
A of Pre aa red aeaa.
Washington Post.
Mr. Taft may have to rub the dust off
the pig stick before he gets the national
Incorporation act through congrei
Poor Old Jackass
aome Breeay Raatarka aa tbe
Demooratlo AjUmaJ the Watar
Wagon, and ib jugular Driver
,' Charleston News and Courier (dem.V,
The poor old democratic JsckaM haa had
a hard time of It for the last thirteen
years. Instead of ploughing the furrows
straight the driver haa been going in end
out, cutting fancy curve, going deep some
times and ploughing the air on occasion
so that the poor beast haa been so ccm
fuad that he has lost all Idea of propor
tion. The political crop which has followed
this novel farming has been the saddest
that the eye of mm ever gazed on. Re
markably arable landa have ben aa barren
as the rock farms of New England, and
the plants that In the belnlng bloomed
hopefully, hive withered before they had
time to put out fruit. Diversity of crops
haa done no good. The general ruin has
tx'en nil embracing.
However, the jackass has befn told to
take new courage, that the farmer lias a
new Idea, as the opportunist always haa.
Mr. Rryaii has discovered a new para
mount Issue, and It Is prohibition. He has
studied the statistical tables, he has wept
over the tales of wrong and misery
which the teetotalers have presented to
his view he has sren tlio wave of fanat
icism sweeping from one end of the coun
try to the other. In the repeatod vic
tories of the "drys" he espied the silver
lining of the cloud and he has been qultik
to take advantage of It. He has virion
of an immense water wagon, himself on
the front seat, moving with Irresistible
force to Washington. H has dreams ot
Carrie Nation, as the representative of
Kaunas, delivering phllllplra In tho capl
tol of the nation. Ha sees himself bela
boring the patient Jackasa, who is draw
lug the water wagon, and bothlnks him
celt to summon Mlnnemoacot back from
the Gold field brewery to aaaist In lUa
glorioua work.
It is well that the peerless one has es
caped appointment to the supreme oouit,
else how oould he again save the country?
It Is unfortunate that the "Incarnation of
Disaster" has espoused a cause which has
heretofore given evidence of popular sup
port. On the heels of the announcement
from LJncoln of the new paramount issue,
the voters of Alabama gathered them
selves together and administered such a
blow to It as ncer before have they ad
ministered to anything. Is it possible that
Mr. Dryan Is a hoodoo when we all thought
him a nillikln? Is he the antithesis of
the swastika? Have his ropeattd sacrifices
to strange gods availed nothing? Has ha
withered the power of the Penates .of the
domooratlo household? Is the Jackass,
which was so cleverly guided in the brave
old days, now tantalized into usnlessnes
by repeated Injections of bitter and un
palatable medicine? . "
.The platltudlnal Nebraakan wrltea know
ingly, calling to the attention of the publto
many things which they have had the honor
to know for years. "The aaloon "Is next-to-kln
to the brothel' and the gambling
hall; it la the rendezvous for the
element and the willing tool ot the cor
rupt polltlclana." So IS the great "Mystery
of 1!0S" explained. Without this "corrupt
tool" tlie democracy would have marched
In triumphant splendor .from bleak N;
braaka to hospitable Washington and "The
Boy Orator of the Platte" would have
shared his domicile with the monosyllable
from Indiana. The saioon robbed tho
nation Of a president and made a protective
tariff possible. "A drunkard robs his wife
and children, and he may finally make hi
family and himself a charge upon society;
has society no right to protect ItBelf?" It
has. It has a right to protect Itself from
the drunkard, from tuberculosis, from
Idiots and from demagogues. It has a right
to protect itself against Incompetency in
high places. It has a right to demand
success and to refuse to condone repeated
failures. It has a right to Insist that Its
leaders should be men who think, who
study, .who can tell a neceaslty from a
noise and not confuse their personal am
bition with the needs of society In gen
eral. Yes, society has many rights even
if democracy seems to have none.
Of course, some time in the distant fu
ture, when the Utopias of the dreamers
have become tha realities of aoonomlcs,
when the brotherhood of man haa been
achieved, when human nature has been
changed and the new evolution has per
fected man and society, then the historians
in looking back over the dark days of the
present can write in glowing terms of the
greatest dreamer of them all, the man
who saw things as they were to be tn the
time of his children's great grandchildren,
the leader who sacrificed the probabilities
of the present to the possibilities of the
future, who had visions of a mlllenlum
brought about by his magic wand, who
changed In a few short years millions cf
practical men Into dreamers like himself,
whose aspirations reached to the farthest
limit of the skies to meet his negatlvo
achievements; the man who knew no equal
as a political prestldtgltateur, and rose
stronger and more bcatlfio from every
tumble. It Is the future, not the present,
which belongs to the peerless one. fit
Is the Immortality of hope and the In
consequence of reality. The man who can
not pluck a rose without being pricked by
the thorns Is harnessing the Jackass again.
The overworked animal Is about to be
hitched to the water wagon and be driven
he knows not where.
While It is true that James J. Hill la a
remarkable proptn t In that he give dates
he makes them far enough ahead to avoid
a come-back.
It may or may not be true thaj;.a. Call
fornia bellboy received a llg Tegacy as a
reward fur good service, but let u circu
late this Item, In the hotels, anyway.
Americana are said to be coining money
in Ilrklsh cities by revival of the rollet
skating craze. They not only run the rinks
but they equip ithem almost entirely wlt'l
American skates. '
Mrs. Humphrey Ward boldly takes her'
place among tho!e who do not care to
vote, and do not regard the blacking of a
policeman's eye as a logical and adequat
bid for the franchise anyhow.
T. P. OGonnor, at a dinner In New York,
said in rceponse to a toaat of Ireland: "1
am In agreement with the young man in
Albert hall. An anti-budget duke waa pro
claiming from the platform: 'What Is It
that has mado England what it Is what
has made England what it is what haa
made England mighty, revered and loved?
'Ol n land!' the young man ahouted from
the gallery."
In his "Recollections of O rover Cleve
land" Mr. Oeorge F. Parker glvea a pari
of the credit for the high phrase, "Public
office a publio trust." to Secretary La moot
Mr. Cleveland's idea had bttn that public
officials were trustees of the people, and
the skilled brain of Mr. Lamont condensed
the thought Into e taking headline for a
pamphlet. 1
Sammy Livatsky was a
good little Jew, and slowly
and painfully learned the
Hebrew alphabet, but the
temptation of the Christ
mas of the Krishts was too
much for little Sammy.
This pathetic story, "The
Tool Chest," by Bruno
Lessing,is a Christmas story
from an unusual point of
view, and is We of the best
things its author has done.
15 Cent a Copy All Newt-stand
Specalatlnar on tha Chances for a
, I'nlveralty Degree.
Springfield (Mass.) Republican.
Tho fact that Mr. Bryan has an engage
ment to deliver an address In Edinburgh,
Scotland, next Spring arouses g6sstp.' Natu
rally, Such an engagement seems out of
his line. As the foremost down-and-outer
in America, he can scarcely get engage
ments in his own country, so why should
Edinburgh take him up? Astonishment
deepens over the strange development when
the detail is added that the address la to
be in some way under the auspices of the
University of Edinburgh. This scents un
thinkable, for the University of Edinburgh
is one of the leading Institutions In the
British Isles. And, thereupon, the disturb
ing question arises whether the university
Is to confer upon Mr. Bryan an honorary
degree. Ordinarily, the degree Is associ
ated with such appearances by foreigners
of reputation. Will Mr. Bryan get an
LL. D. or a D. C. L. ? There la more than
one board of university trustees In Amer
ica that would be harrowed to hear that
the University of Edinburgh had thus taken
Mr, Bryan to Its academic-bosom, for not
a single Institution in this country has thus
far "doctored" the Nebraakan. For hint to
receive hts first honors of this sort from
an eminent British university might make
several of our leading university and col
lege presldents-wlnce a bit. For Mr.,
from their point of view, Is unthinkable.
If the degree Is given, possibly we may
account for It on the ground that Mr. Bryan
Is a devoted and steadfast Presbyterian,
and In Scotland the Presbyterians are S
"I know one thing which will make a
woman change color quicker than any
thing else."
"What la that"
"When she gets blue because she finds
out she's gray." Baltimore American.
"Can openers?" said the salesgirl. "Yes,
ma'am; what kind?"
"Any-good kind will do," answered Mrs.
Lapallng. "I've heard my nephew Bertram
speak of tha arma vliumque can opener.
I'll look at one of those. If you please.'
Chicago Tribune.
"Father," aald the amall boy with the
thoughtful. Intellectual fact, "how do you
differentiate between an ambassador and a
"Differentiate! gasped the father, struck
A Complete,
Equipped With Full
Library of Music. Ready
t fltxy. at
Think of that for an enthus.
lastlo CHRISTMAS gift! And
think of the enjoyment EVER t.
ON 8 will derive yrom It An In
strument atandlng ever ready to
render the world's bast mualo In
BETTER atyle than can be ren
dered by ANY performer among
your acquaintance-
If Intereated In this, come to our
establishment and aak to see and
hear the "BOUDOIR" PL.AYKR
PIANO. Yea, it may be played by
hand In the eld It ma way If you
wish, to play It in that manner
and the mechanlam la concealed
juat aa It la la the very muoh mora
xpenalve makes.
$2.00 Per Wook Pays For It
1513-1513 DOUGLAS
ail of a heap, but recovering hirtaelf, "we
pay the ambassador about $5,600 more
salary, my son, than we do the minister."
Chicago Tribune.
"I see there is a correspondence school
of poetry."
"1 suppose It charges by the jiumber of
"Or else by the reading of the meter.'
ClsvelandLicader. - .
' B. - Oinner--The caddie laughed utt when
I foosled that I felt like braining him.
Friend Why didn't you?
B. I didn't know the proper club to
use. Boston Transcript.! .
Poor Richard was writing;" "early to bed
and early to rise."
"Why didn't you include early to shop?"
we asked.
Sadly he confessed himself behind the
times. New York, . Suh. , .
"His brother is fh a very shady busi
ness." "Whafs that?"
"Awnings." Prlncetoa Tiger.
. J. M. Lewis in Houston post.
The days are grlttln' shorter,''
And although I thought that I
Would be glad the long and glary
I jays of summer had gone by.
Yet I catch myself a-wlahln'
For the summer days once more.
For the bare feet of the babies
Of a mornln' on the floor.
Uaed to be when days was longer,
When the daylight oame at four,
I would hear a sudden patter
And the oreakln' of a door.
I would hear a little giggle.
And a footfall on the stair,
And I'd fix myself all ready
For a most outlandish soare.
But f'd keep right oh a' eatln'
Like I didn't hear at all.
Didn't hear the little giggle,'
Pldn't hear the witchin' Jell
Of the bare feet of the baby
Comln' down to s'prlse her pop,
Just a' eatln' and a-estin'
- LJke I never meant to stop.
Then there'd be a rush and SflramMa,
And. a giggling, shrieking: "Boo!"
And a daddy ao excited
That he ecarce knew what to do.
Then a babe in a white nightie,
With a tousled yellow head.
Sitting snuggled to hor daddy
Munching on a pleoe of braadi
Now the days are so much shorter
That I finish up, and take j
Vp my hat and dinner bucket
'Fore the babies are awake;
And. I seldom get to see them
Till the night time, and that's why
I'm regettln' that the long days
Of the summer tiro are by. , . ,.
Brand Now
S3 75
It is fitted wlfh wvmrr drrica
what . sua better. Ul -ttotMiK
U Juat ar a a tie to fit ANT PlTaCX
.if CJT P Yaur nd to bur
ene IfOW, a. will .apply a fraJ
i,.1"' v.f wth it, ii.n
Player bench, and will Insure It ai
JJjrur fir, and death laaunu,"
..TJ?J ''n't another gift like this
at la all Omaha you'U admit
It when you ae lu 1
i . -""i an. iook at the -ea-
,rm'y EA8Y payment plan upon
1 'A
i !
1 i
ajrw ?