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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 1, 1909)
The omaiia Daily7 Bee.
rOUNDED BV EDWARD ROSE WATER.
Victor rosewater, editor.
F.nlerl at Omaha pos toffies as second
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STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION.
State of Nebraska, Douglas County, aa.i
George B. Tischuek, treasurer of The Bee
Publishing Company, being dur awom.
says that the -actual number of full and
complete copies' cf The Dally. Morning.
Evening and Hwndar Re printed during
the month of October. 190W. was aa folln-v:
1.,.. 43,390 II.... 49.140 21. . . .41.TS0
t... .43,080 IS. ...43,180
I... .40.800 14. ...49,940
4.,.. 41,840 J 8.... 49,900
5.;.. 48,610 K.... 41,580
10. ... 40.300
IS. . . .49,480
Net total , ..M9,a70
Dally average . ; 41,781
GEORGE B. TZSCHUCK,
Subscribed In my presence and aworn to
before ma thla 1st day of November, 1908.
(Seal.) M. P. WALKER,
baerlkere lemtrtaar tha city tern
perarlly kml4 Dave The II
mailed t tkeraa. Al4mt rrlU
"e aa aftea aa reaaeatea.
To the Christmas shopper:
Hello! wise merger, Mlsgourl la call
At all events, the solid gouth la not
aolid for prohibition.
Let there be light on the proposed
electric light contract.
(Jet ready to acknowledge 4he corn
when tho Corn show opens here next
That garbage problem Is th very
hardest nut the city authorities have
Secretary Bailinger evidently de
clines to- attempt the reclamation ol
Mrs. Pankhurst has profited to this
extent by her visit to this country, that
she has made- the discovery of Dr.
Parkhur8t.' ' '
Luxuries come high, but if it Is true
that we paid two billions for the late
lamented panic, we paid more than It
Omaha's Indian supply depot has
been- saved so many times that we will
not sink to despair at another threat
of Its abolition.
It seems that Nebraska has for once
a state auditor In supervision of the
insurance business who knows some
thing about insurance himself.
The recent march of the Sherman
act appears to have demonstrated to
the satisfaction of all that it Is able to
cleave its way without any reinforce
ment yet awhile.
The county board should have
learned by this time that the juvenile
court and detention home constitute a
sacred precinct which none but district
Judges may even look Into.
The advertiser of an appeal "tp, mil
lionaires only" for $5,000,000 to dis
prove the claim that the rich cannot be
happy, has at least given them an op
portunity for one gool laugh.
The gyroscope has boon applied to
prevent tlie automobile from skidding,
but the Klan-on-foot-srared-out-of-hls-wlts
will coutlnue to do the gyroscopic
dance In the middle of the road.
Jersey Justice Is to the fore again
In the decision of the court that a
band of grimy miscreants must wash
their hands and faces three times a
day. Yet the constitution Is supposed to
guard against cruel and unusual pun
ibhnient. And to think that afterNa!l that
mammoth Thanksgiving pie never
reached the president. Who got the
pie? Have, we no secret service? Has
the attorney general decided whether
sidetracking the presidential mince Is
lea majeste or treason?
It. seeraa there are two ways by
which Omaha's streets are covered
with a layer of jHud by the dirt haul
ers. One set of wagons drops the con
tents through sievelike bottom and
another set spills them out over the
sides. Both are equally effective.
With Governor Glenn tf North Caro
lina boosting , Grover Cleveland's
former attorney general and Governor
Shallenberger of Nebraska pushing
Grover Cleveland's former swretary of
the Interior, the Grover Cleveland dy
nasty evidently has first rsll for the top
place on the next democratic presiden
The Proposed Ifaval Cabinet
The spirited ring to Secretary Mey
er's announcement of changes In the
bureau method of administration of
the Navy department may be taken to
Indicate new vigor and economy for
the service. The public will be quick
to applaud the effort to apply business
principles and utillr expert knowl
edge. Mr. Mayer has anticipated his annual
report. In actually putting new plans
Into effect; but with the most radical
proposals, such as the abolition of cer
tain bureaus, congress hag yet to deal,
and It may be that It will see fit to
modify -the scheme. It Is evident that
Mr. Meyer, himself, has decided on a
compromise of the Swift board's
recommendations, for instead of ad
vising an American admiralty fash
ioned after the British experiences he
favors an advisory cabinet composed
of the chief fighting men.
The underlying Intent Is, of course,
to have the officers of the line In
terpret the navy's .condition and needs
for the guidance of the secretary to
ward practical efficiency. This looks
like a distinct gain, for there has
been considerable criticism of con
flict in the bureau system. New
rules are to be Judged by their
results, but any Improvement of work
ing conditions will be welcomed
In a department In which so large a
portion of the public funds Is Invested.
If In a multitude of counsellors there
19 safety, the secretary of the navy is
entitled to a staff of the best informed
men procurable from the service.
Down in Alabama.
In going on record so decisively
against the proposal to make pro
hibition permanent by constitutional
amendment, the voters of Alabama
may be considered as having repudi
ated, in a measure, the state-wide
'dry" law enaoted by a legislature
elected on a local option platform. The
Indications are that even the country
districts rendered their verdict against
the prohibition movement, to the dis
appointment of the anti-saloon advo
cates who had counted on the rural
vote to offset that of the towns.
With the prohibition forces at the
polls In full strength, the result can
not fall to be to them a surprise and
a discouragement, for the question at
6nce naturally arises whether the crest
of the prohibition wave that has been
sweeping over the country has not been
reached. As far as one is able to judge
of the returns at this distance, it
would seem as though the tide were re
ceding from Alabama, although doubt
less this defeat will inspire the anti-
saloon host to renewed zeal at the next
Zelaya continues to brew mischief In
Nicaragua for other peoples, and the
suspicion arises that he may be devis
ing strife with European powers
simply as 'a part of. his plan of antagon
istic campaign against the United
States. Now that treatment of French
citizens and interests has prompted
the lodging of a formal complaint with
the French government, he may be
logically blamed for having stirred up
complications that will make the un
raveling of the situation all the harder
for our State department.
Not too much, credence, however, Is
to be placed In the report that he is
ready to retire voluntarily. The revo
lutionary party, achieving success after
success in a well conducted warfare,
is not likely to take too seriously any
overtures looking to a compromise
through the channels of the Nlca
raguan congress. That body has been
dominated all along by the dictatorial
president, and any man of Its choosing
as his successor would undoubtedly be
only the crafty Zelaya under another
The city council is still wrestling
with the question of garbage removal.
This question Is one Of the most per
plexing that confronts every growing
city. The difficulty here Is greater
than usual because of the conditions
presented by the widely scattered
dwellings and long stretches of area,
with scant population. (
Systematic and efficient garbage col
lection over the whole area Included
within the city limits of Omaha is what
is wanted, and our previous experience
has shown that this is not to be had
with any of the methods heretofore
tried. The final solution of the gar
bage problem will be the performance
of the dfy of garbage collection and
disposal by the city through a mu
nicipal department organized for that
purpose. Our city charter us now con
stituted does not provide for the city
taking on this work.
s The charter should be amended at
the first opportunity to enable the city
authorities to deal with the garbage
problem in a really satisfactory man
ner. The Gullible American.
Discovery of a modern patchwork
bedqullt as the Inner basis of a wax
bust for which a fabulous price was
paid on representation that It was an
ancient work of art. lends a comedy
feature to the stormy discussion which
has been in progress among collectors
and connoisseurs. When experts like
Dr. Bode of the Kaiser Frledrtch
museum can be taken In, how likely It
Is that Inexpert American purchasers
of so-called antiques will be easily
That there Is in existence abroad a
systematic practice of victimising
Americana ia the claim of our consular
service In a report just Issued from
Washington. Therein are given speci
THE HEE :
fic cases of the most unblushing frauds,
showing the market to be flooded with
manufactured trash in miniatures, dec
orated snuff boxes, color prints, china,
old silver, furniture and other objects
of art and craftsmanship. Indeed, the
report goes so far as to say that
nothing but the Veriest trash Is to be
found In 90 per cent of the Eurpoean
On the strength of so conclusive an
official Indictment, It would be the
part of wisdom for every purchaser
to make no Investment in foreign antiq
uites except on the most expert and
authoritative advice, and except on
written guaranty, as a basts for legal
recovery in case of fraud. This gov
ernments! disclosure of the extent, to
which the foreigner preys on Ameri
can gullibility should Inspire every
tourist to exercise the fullest vigilance,
and to take no chance with dealers
that hoax him under the motto of "Let
the buyer beware."
A person who will watch tha way people
vote will not be carried away with the
Idea that popular franchise Is a good
thing. Schuyler Free Lance.
Now, Brother Sprecher, you ought
not to be so downcast Just because
some of your preferred candidates for
office lost out in the late election.
The popular franchise is the founda
tion 'stone of popular government.
The people, It is true, sometimes
make mistakes In registering their ver
dicts at the polls just as Individuals
make mistakes, but In the long run and
on the average the popular verdict
strikes it right.
There Is this further to be said, that
when the people vote and find they
have voted wrong It la not so long till
they have a chance to retrace the step
and turn down officials who have failed
to make good. -
Just remember that popular fran
chise is here to stay.
This talk of the Standard fleeing to
foreign climes if the final decision is
against Its contentions, raises the ques
tion whither it would flee. The hand
of government control la being laid
heavily upon such combinations in
European countries. In the way of not
only regulation, but also of taxation,
and Britain, Germany and France all
stand ready to touch the American
newcomer's pocket nerve with no spe
cial regard for Its feelings.
The difference between wise expert
and foolish lay Judgments is well illus
trated by the case of the man In Ohio
who was permitted to roam at large
till be killed Beveral persona and him
self. The Judicial mind had pronounced
him a sufferer from exaggerated ego,
while ordinary folks Just called him
crazy. How much more lmpreselve the
exaggerated ego looks In the - death
, A leading magazine editor advises
American youth to live frugally, citing
his own experience on a student diet
of crackers and raisins, and now look
at him. But he should have coached
his appeal more poetically to catch the
adolescent mind. Old Omar had a
craftier way, as witness his "Loaf of
bread, jug of wine, and thou." Crack
ers and raisins, Indeed!
While congratulating the Iowa stu
dents on their victory at the live stock
show, let us not fall to observe that the
boys from Ontario took second honors
kahead of all United States competitors.
It is wholesome to bear In mind that
In agricultural progresslvenesa our
northern neighbor Is keeping up a
lively competition all along the line.
Another evidence of the fact that
corn and culture can be grown from
the same soli Is given to the world In
the announcement that a boy bred in
Nebraska has become director of edu
cation to guide the brown islanders of
our Philippine possessions Into the
paths of light and knowledge.
It Is just possible that the outcome
In Alabama may have the result of
making Mr. Bryan slow up on the pub
lication of those articles favoring pro
hibition which he has scheduled for
early Issues of his Commoner.
What a fluttering of Back Bay skirts
over the arrest of fashionable dress
makers for smuggling Boston gowns!
One can almost sniff the trouble brew
ing In the caddy of those daughters of
the original tea party.
The Standard Oil haa annexed Greece,
but they have no Sherman law In Greece.
Every laaae la Its Tarn.
St. Paul Pioneer Press.
Wlll'am J. Bryan indicates that local
option la to be the paramount Issue In
1!'12. If the women suffrage advocates only
will be patient their turn should come In
Why Mot Strike the Limit f
The congressman who urgea the building
of a 30,000-ton battleship ao aa to get
several years ahead of the rest of the
world at a Jump, made the mistake of
putting his limit too low. Why not make
It a 10(1.000 tone and get that much further
A t oialaar Spectacle.
Preparations are already being made for
the reception of Roosevelt when he visits
the carltala of Europe, and It la predicted
that hla welcome will beat anything that
haa ever hitherto been accorded to any
monarch or president. It will be a stu
pendous triumph for the frock coat and
the ailk hat
Football remedial legislation la talked of
to several ,atatea. The fatality attending
the game thla aeaaon haa shocked and
alarmed college authorities and families of
players. Cither, a way must be found to
play the game with more security to life
OMATIA, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 1. 1000.
and limb or amused public sentiment will
demand Its abolition. Established aa It Is
In the national sports. It I hardly worth
the sacrifice of human life for Ita con
tinuance. Where Coaeotlaatloa la Needed.
Central America needs a strong dose of
combination and sonsolld.itlon. It might
make one decently solid and orderly re
public, but In Ita present haahed-up state
It can hardly settle down to peace and
steady good behavior.
New t.lne of Divorces.
New York Wor d.
A plan to divorce a western railroad from
the system to which It belongs Is reported.
Is the divorce habit spreading to 'corpora
tions? The United States Circuit Court
In the Standard Oil decision appears to
have given It an Impetus.
. Rally at the PI Counter.
The "pie counter" at Washington ia still
lined with hungry, heartsick applicants, who
cannot understand why President Taft
ahould apply himself to such a common
place task aa writing an annual message
when there are so many nice, fat Jobs to
Ilonnded to a Breakdown.
San Francisco Chronicle.
No one need be surprised that Ir. Cook
haa had a nervous breakdown After hla
harsh experience on the polar pack and
his perils of life and limb, an Instant
plunge on his return home Into a bitter
controversy on the outcome of which hla
reputation hinged was enough to shred the
nerves of a stronger man.
MAKE IT SHORT, WILLIAM,
Hopeful Proapeet for a Condensed
An encouraging Intimation ia given from
Washington that tha president's message
at the opening of congress will be short.
The shorter he can make It the more read
ers It will have and the greater Impression
it will make. The president's annual mea
ling e has In recent years grown to absurd
pre portions. Mr. Roosevelt used to pour
himself out at such inordinate length and
on suoh a wide range of topics that very
few persona could find time to read him
and any new Ideas that the message con
tained often required many days to reach
the public conscience. All that such a
message ought to do Is to state briefly
such Information as It may be necessary to
give to congress and to suggest such topics
as the president may deem It proper to call
to attention, leaving all the details to the
discretion of congress itself. If President
Taft shall present no more than a bare
outline of the program he has in mind, his
message will be quite long enough. If he
will write such a paper as everybody can
read and understand he can do tha coun
try a great service.
LIRE OF THE! WEST.
Fascination of the Old Weat
passed by the New.
The "land show" recently held in Chi
cago, and which in all probability la to be
come an annual affair, would indicate that
the various changes that have taken place
In the great west within recent years have
not robbed thla part of the country of
Hundreds of ''thousands of people have
wondered at exhibits from the west not
exhibits of cowboya and stage couches, and
Indians in thelr'savage attire, but displays
from fields anis orchards. Western grains
and western fruits have been gazed upon
by a multitude that gave no thought to
the old stage coach, and prosperous and un
romantlc looking ranchmen have held the
center of the stage to the exclusion of the
cowboys and "bad man." .
It Is evident that, fascinating as the old
west haa been, the new west la going to
hold a greater; lure. The process of making
the old trails into modern roads has not
killed public Interest In the vast country
whose hills and plains have been haunted
with the spirit of romance. The west haa
changed its call, but the new note is even
more appealing than the old. It still holds
Its lure for those who gaxe from afar, and
apparently It Is always to be the Promised
Land where bounties never fail.
"A CONTEMPTIBLE CONSPIRACY."
Attempt to Rob the Democratic Party
of Ita Property. -.
Charleston Newa and Courier (dem.)
That the democratic party has a right,
to Mr. Bryan nobody haa disputed. There
are certain thing which are the propertj
of the democracy, auch as the symbolic
Jackass, the support of muck-rakers, Tam
many hall, Jeffries Davis and Mr. Bryan.
They are as absolutely the property of
the party as the government la the prop
erty of the republican party. Any attempt
to steal the democracy's thrice nearly
elected leader must be viewed by all cltl
sens, no matter of what political creed,
with consternation and regret. However,
we are told that there la auch a conspiracy
dome of our readerB may not kufiw it,
but Mr. Bryan ia a lawyer, That to, he
was once a lawyer, and a very good law
yer too, we are told. He was averse to
acting for corporationa, or at lexst he
did not In general act for them, and we
presume the reason given is the correct
reason, but he did on several uccjb'oiis
represent rich men, and to hlH credit. Some
one, unkindly In hlb motive, has called
President Taft's attention to the profes
sional worth of the peerless one, much to
the elation of the president, who, so we
Understand, haa decided to appoint Mr.
Bryan to the vacancy in the United States
supremo court. It is remarkable that hla
name was not suKgested long ago, but it
was not. His professional ability and
availability have been hidden under a
bushel these many years.
We C-n view thie announcement, which
Is not yel confirmed, only with trepidation
and fear. It Is another scheme of the re
publicans to shelve a good man, to put
him where he can do no harm, to take from
the cause of the people their most valiant
defender, and to prevent our candidate
from once mure entering the elections 'wl;h
every hops of success." It Is a confession J
or republican failure, an ackuowiedgcd-
mont of the superior statesmanship, wis
dom, generosity and self-effacement of the
Nebraakan, who. in thirteen short years
has won for himself it, reputation such aa
no other American ever ps.seased.
All we can say to Pres'dent Taft la
'Doa't!" You ahall not steal our candi
date from us In any such way. You shall
not crucify out hope upon a cross of honor.
You shall not pru&s this crown of thorns
upon our Uipeful heads. The Tribune
of the People la Incorruptible, and though
he would doubtless adorn the federal trib
unal of the laat resort, he is needed to
adorn democracy's autumnal forest of
dead ambitions and to coax away our dis
couragement until the birth of spring. We
shall not, cannot, permit him to be stolen
from ua In the n'ght.
Democrats within and without the party
lines are as one In demanding that Mr.
Bryan shall not be appointed t? the au-.-nin
Around New York
Hippies on the Current of Life
as Been la the (treat Americas
Metropolis from Say to Day.
Melancholy significance Is given the stock
Joke that the undertaker walks In th
shadow' of the doctor by the efforts of en
terprising practitioners of New Yolk to
combine In "a corporation the three busi
nesses of hospital care, medical attendance
and funeral directing. The papers flld tut
Albany by the "World Medical company'
of New York states the object:
"For the entering Into contracts with per
sons and their families to furnish medical
and surgical treatment and the furnishing-
of such treatment and for the manufne
ture, buying, selling and dealing In drugs
and medical and surgical appliances.
"For the entering Into contracts with un
dertakers for the purpose of burying the
dead and supplying the necessaries there
for, and for the purpose of entering Into
contracts with persons and their famlll
lor tne Durlal of such persons and their
families and the furnishing of the neces
The secretary of state refused to grant a
certificate of Incorporation and made these
remarks on the side: "It is said that cor
porations have no soul, but this one cer.
talnly hj long on brains; tho man whj
thought it out is a genius. If allowed to do
business In New York state the company
would earn the gratitude of all those whom
It freed 'from ailments and at "the same
time earn their money. If the company's
medicine would not help the sick and they
were to die the company would lose the
gratitude of the patients, but they would
double on the money, for It would yet re
main for the concern to bury them. Surely
we are living in an age of wonderful
"I am compelled to deny the company's
application for the reason that a corpora
tion cannot practice medicine In this state."
The Interborough company, ooeratlna-
the subway and the elevated railways of
New York county, reports earnings for
the year ended June SO nt tws soa tcu e-
all sources. Ita operating cost was $10,-
m.fM, which Is only a little over 40 per
cent. Excluding other sources of revenue,
save the actual nickels of passengers, the
operation percentage la not quite 42.
io steam railroad in the country, re
marks the World, has nnvthin. v.
Ing auch a record. The operation cost of
win i-ennayivania in 1908 was 75 per cent of
all operation earnings and not quite 70
per cent of all income. The correspond
ing figures of the New York Control
72.67 per cent and a little less than 68 per
ten i. ins Lackawanna, the richest road
of its size in the country, paid for opera
tion 61 per cent of all income and 68 per
cent of operation earnings To iii o
example geographically far removed, the
nAn XT .1 .. .
mem ioriuern railway, built up most
economically by the genius and energy of
J. J. Hill and fnrtllnn to In . nr.nnAn,i
tlvo territory, paid in 1MB fx. as n
True, last year was not a favorable one.
The New York Central's operating ex
pense In 1905 was nearly four points lower
than in 190S, but the average operation
cost of all American railroads for a term
of years Is well above two-thirds. .
What does the Interborough do with all
Its money? That part which It pays to the
city on subway bonds la relatively small.
No railroad In the country pays so low a
rate of Interest on( Its debentures, nor are
there many railroads whose Interest pay
ments are o small In proportion to traffic
Income. Such roads as the Great North
ern, which has no bonds, and the Lackn
wanna, which has relatively few, are a
The Interborough pays a 7 per cent
guaranteed dividend on the watered stock
of the elevated lines. It pays per cent
on Its own stock, whose volume Is a tri
umph of corporate bookkeeping over an
tecedent probabilities, and It has Just car
ried to surplus account a sum equal to 5
per cent on $23,000,000.
The business district of New York con
tinues to move Its northern boundaries rap
idly up Manhattan Island along Fifth ave
nue. Rome time ago apartment houses
and stores took possession of the block
Just south of the Vanderbllt mansions ut
Fifty-first street, and now the old Gallatin
home on the block to the north has been
leased for conversion Into salesrooms for
carriages and automobiles. Both sides of
the avenue up to St. Patrick's cathedral
and the Vanderbllt homes are now occu
pied by business houses hardly without
exception. Only a few years back that amis
the show residence section of the city.
When one looks at the Astor. the Knicker
bocker, the Belmont, the St. Regis, and
the other great hotels that
added to New Yorl In the last half dozen
years, to say nothing of the liberal supply
before, he would naturallv enua Mm
ar to be filled, and who Is to support them.
uui ineir managera are studying another
phase of the problem. Who Is to find
rooms for all who apply?
Today the demand for rooms la Anm
mous. The hotels are running at full steam.
tr.ree more great structures would h
needed to meet the demand.
This Is not horse sho w week an4 tliA
automobile shows are In the future. The
fact ia that New York Itself Is a show
Mk enough to attract the world as Its
gutsts. temporary or permanent. The
crowds are continuous, by trainload and
shipload. They are flocking here, from
Kurope. from Texas, from Mnnitntia
New Mexico, from all parts of the world,
to see ana be seen and above all, to spend
Signs of weakness are said to be appear
ing In the land.xpans of the new $SJ,000,000
Williamsburg bridge, because of the tremendous-
strain put on It by Increasing
traffic, and Is Is reported txiay that Bridge
C mmisHioner Stvennon will In a few days
arply to the Hoard of Estimate for an ap
propriation of l'a,WU to strengthen the
veakened parts of the structure. The river
Kpans were strenutheiied some time ago.
No fears are expressed that the bridge will
collapse, as it is understood that measures
have been taken to distribute the traffic
until the spans can be reinforced
The physicians of Mount Sinai hospital,
Madison avenue and lO.id street, were sur
prised by the number and appearai.ee of
the applicants attracted by an adveriUe
ment offering a reward to a young man
who would submit hlmailf to blood trans
fusion. Till is the advertisement, prepared
by Dr. Dnvid J. Kallkt, of 103 East 103d
street, head of the patholeslc-al department:
Healthy man, 20 to 30 yeais old. over 10
pounds, to Hive blood transtUKlon; rewaixi;
fhuisaay, between 10 and 11. Doctor, 1UJ
East 103.1 s'. reel.
A patient for extreme anemia, a man,
cuu.-ed the Insertion of the advertisement.
During thi hour specified In 11 there
rcme to Dr. KallKkl's offl.e fifteen young
men altogether fitted for the doctors pur
pose. Every one was of the proper age, all
healthy ard vigorous looking. They ap
peared to be mainly from the mechanic
duns chauffeurs, plumbers, carpenters:
there were among them two students of
the College of the City of New York, try
ing to woik their way through; there was
a young engineer and a lawyer.
v V'? from Roy&I Grpe Cream of Tiriif Vl
V.-..., LJ mirta from GrtnM - . '
Dr. Anna E. Blount of Chicago, treating
the divorce question, said: "While It is s
mother's duty to care for her children, I
do not think It Is up to her to sew on her
husband's buttons." This will become a
vital Issue In the suffrage fight.
Edgar L. Plerson of New York City, Is
a shining bulb in a naughty world. He
passed through bankruptcy ten years ago,
and now asks the court to reopen Jhe case
so that his creditors may divide twenty
three acres of land which he did not know
Tho father of seventeen children one set
of twins among them and fourteen of
them living, John lt,-Keker, for many years
constable of North Century .township, Ches
ter county, Philadelphia, died recently. He
was known all through the rural country
for miles around Ss a musician and teacher
of brass bands, and for years ha had one
to instruct almost every night of the week.
In his sermon at the Whitney Opera
house, Chicago, last Sunday the Rev. John
D. Leek tore a cherished paga from Chi
cago's history and gave the prohibitionists
a brand new argument by declaring that
the sturdy hind hoof of Mrs. O'Leary's
cow was Inspired to Its disastrous actlo:i
by bovine resentment at three boys who
had sneaked Into the barn to steal milk fo
a whisky punch.
Ex-Vice President Stevenson In hla rem
Inlscences tells stories of : William M
Evarts among others. It was Evarts who.
speaking to the toast, "The Sage of the
Bar," at a banquet given In his honor by
prominent lawyers of New York, surveyed
the decimated dish before him and began,
"What a wonderful transition! An hour
ago you beheld a goose stuffed with sage;
now you behold a sage stuffed with gooe!"
PRATTLE OF THE YOUNGSTERS.
Mamma Whaf can I do to Induce you to
go to bed, dear?
Nettle (aged 6) You can let me sit up
Lola, aged 6, was going to the country to
spend a week, and after finishing her even
ing prayer before starting she added:
Good-by, Lord. I'm going away for a
week, and I wish you would keep your eye
on papa and mamma."
"Now, Tommy," said the Sunday school
teacher, "what does It mean In the prayer
where it says, 'Lead us not Into tempta
"I guess It means the Lord needn't bother
about us, because we can get In ourselves
without being led!" answered Tommy.
Mother Tommy, have you eaten all your
candles without even thinking of your
Tommy Oh, no. mamma. I was think
ing about her the whole time. I was
afraid she'd come before I had finished.
Small Robhy Papa, why can a man run
faster thau a boy?
Papa Because he is bigger, my boy.
Small Bobby (after pondering fpr a few
moments) Well, If that's the reason, why
don't the hlnil wheel of a wagon run
faster than the front wheels?
A teacher In the factory district of a
New Jersey town had been giving the
children earnest lectures upon the poinon
ousness of (Hit.
One morning a little girl raised her hand
excitedly end pointed to a boy who seldom
had clean hands.
Teacher," she said, "look quick!
Jimmy's commlttin' suicide! He's aurklu'
A Rude Awakening-.
There was a time when certain Interests
were jubilantly welcoming "an era of gov
ernment by law," but slnee they have It,
like the gentleman who was promised Jus
tice, "begorra, that's Just what they don't
Liiiiku thnt Way.
, Philadelphia Record.
The Spaniards still Insist that although I
matador is occasionally wounded in a '
bull fighf.' their national sport Is far le-s
brutal thun the puritanic game cf too:
When you buy a watch go
to a reliable jeweler who deals
in nothing but jewelry and
watches. lie will not sell you
a watch until it is in correct
shape, is regulated and oiled
then, if the watch is a Wal
tham, it will stay correct. .
N.B. Wbea baying a Waltham
TTafcli always aak your jeweler
for one adjusted t tcmpetatnxa.
and position. ,
Finest, Purest Food
"Rinks has bought his wife a new piano,"
"I knew It."
"Mow could you? He only got It today,
and It's to be a surprise.
"Yes, but I knew she was sore at him."
"Your husband doesn't seem to tnke a
very active part In politics," observed the
"No,' suld Mrs. Lapsling, "he doesn't
believe in noing to extremes In nnythlng;
lies a conservatory." Chicago Tribune.
"P.irker and his wife have separated," V
"What are the terms?' '
"They each get their cook for six
Visitor Fat men, I notice, are quite thick
IliiKlil. Vat mon u ru nulla ,l1r vh...
ever you find them. Boston Transcript.
"Doctor, how many times have you op
erated for appendicitis?"
"Oh, at least fifty times, I should say."
"And how many enses have you lost?"
"Only two. One of them went Into bank
ruptcy and the other died without leaving
a dollar." Chicago Ttecord-Herald.
"How does your husband like this part
"Well, he used to be a good deal fleshier
on the north side."
"Gracious! Does he get fleshier on one
side than he does on the jother?" Chicago
Book Agent Roosevelt's latest work,
madam. Tells you all about the habits of
Severe lAdy at Door Don't need It. I've
had three husbands. Cleveland Leader.
Woggs Young Smith has failed In busi
ness again. I'm sorry for the boy, but
too close adherence to high principles ru
Hoggs How so?
Works He advertised "Our product Is
thoroughly tested before It leaves the fne
tory," which la a very hard thing to live
up to when you are manufacturing dyna
From Poems of Father Tabb, Who Died
at Elliott City. Md., Nov. 19.
Sing It. mother! sing It low;
Deem It not an Idle lav.
In the heart 'twill ebb and flow
All the. lifelong way.
King it mother! softly sing, ...,,:.
While he slumbers on thy knee;
All that after years may bring
Shall flow back to thee.
Sing It, mother! Love Is strong!
When the tears of manhood fall.
Echoes of thy cradle song
Shall Its peace recall.
Sing It. mother! when his ear
Catches first the Voice Dh'lne,
Dving, he may smile to hear
What he deemeth thine.
Masdia & Hamlin Is Choice of
Artist Whose Fame Is
Landow's Artistry and His
Choice of Instruments Will
Become a Topic of Ut
most Interest in Mu
"Hla very finger tips i.re endowel with
music," tays one authority of Mux Lnn
dow, the melody wizard who Is to give
1""u rBUM"' ult raln l
thr p,r!,t Baptist church on Thursday
Lamlnw, true musician that hn Is, can
not, will not, put forth all of his latent
rower, unleai heated before a piano
worthy of hi mettle.
Landow's fingers have persuaded music
real mu'V from the Keyboards of the
:nu.t "brilliant" ru:iU" of Instruments of
both Europe and America, but he asserts
that his Ideal of Instrument building Is
the "MASON U HAMLIN," the make
Utely secured by. tho A. Hospe company
of 151S Douglas str-tot, to serve as i
leader for Its iim of "top notchers."
The words "Maion & Hamlin Tension
Tone Resonator" do not mean much to
the layman, but Mux LanJow's ScrtrayaJ
of a noteworthy program on Thursday,
next will prove to a vast audience wfiat
such a contrivance has to do with the
brilliant rendition of music.
Not only will Mr. Landow use the Ma
son 4 Hamlin piano at his forthcoming
recital but till., is the only Instrument
he will permit about his studio.
"The Tension Tone Hesonator of the
Mason & Hamlin is wonderful, not only
from a musician's standpoint, but from
a mechanical view u,n
In his forthcoming reclial at the First
Buptlst church. Mr. Lanlow will render
the same program that caused auch a
stir among Berlin critics will even put
more genius lota his work because of ap
pearing In hla adopted noma city.
'Twill be the season's event for music
lovera and seats should be engaged no x
at Biandela'. Haydens', Bennetts or
the A. Uusps company, 16i PoUMiai
Firs J Pin
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