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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 28, 1909)
THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE: NOVEMPT7R l?wf- Tiie Omaiia Sunday Be& FOUNDED BY KDWARD ROSK WATER VICTOR BOSEWATEH, EDITOR. Knteied st Omaha pos'offlce as second risss matter. TERMS OF SUHSCRIPTION. Pally pee (without Piinrtnyt. one year. 4 00 lally Bee and Sunday, .me year W DELIVERED BT CARRIER. Ially pee (Including Bundav), per wekk.1fe Daily Hee i Ithont Pundavv per week 1V" r venlng Dee (without Sunday). rr week c F.venlng Hee (with Sunday), per week. 10o fiundav Bee. one year 1110 Saturday Hee. one year I-6 Andresa all rnmnlalnts rf Irregularities In delivery to City Circulation Department. orrtrEf. ftmaha The Pre Pntrrttng. Pouth Oninha Twentv-fom th and N. Council piufr.is Sr-oM Street. Lincoln SU I.tttle But'dlne. Chicago 15l Marquette Piiltdln. New York-Rooms HOt-llOt No. 81 Wert TMrtv-thlrd Street Washington 725 Fourteenth Ptreet. N. W. CORREPPONPKNCB. Communications relating to new and edi torial matter should he addressed: Omaha Pee. Editorial Department. REMITTANCES. Remit by draft, espress or postal order pavahle to The Ree Publishing Company. Only 5-rent atampa received In payment of mall ncrounta. Personal checks, except on Omaha or rnrn exchange, not accepted. STATF.MENT OF 1'IHiMTl. ATl OV. State of Nebraska, Douglas County, aa.r George B. Txxrhilrk. treasurer of The Bee Publishing Company, heing duly sworn, says that the actual number of full and complete copies of The Dally. Morning Fvenlpg and ""under Pee printed rtnrlnc tha month of October, tarn, was as fo'.'n-v: 1 43,350 13..,. 49.940 21.... 1,790 S... .43,080 1 J.... 43. 160 23 ...43,490 t 40,800 14 43,340 24 40,330 4. ...43,640 43,330 25 .... 41,990 6 43,510 C 43,380 it 41,990 43,460 IT. . . .40.300 27.... 43,850 T 43,670 18.... 43.480 IS.... 43,810 ... .43.810 43,050 29.... 43, 000 . ...43380 20.... 43.350 10. ...43,070 10... 10.300 21. ...43,030 II.... 40,800 11.... 48,710 Total 1,303,040 Returned copies 9,870 Net total 1,393,370 Dally average 41,781 GEORGE B. TZSCHUCK, Treasurer. Subscribed In my presence and aworn to before me this lat day of November, 1909. iSeal.) M. P. WALKER, Notary Public. Subscribers lenriac alty tern pararlly ahe'ald have Th B" mailed to tkaaa. Addreaa will (-haaared aa nftea aa requested. Do you realize that Christmas Is less than one month off? It will take the photographer's dark room to shed light on the eclipse of the moon. In Mr. Hawley'g case the accent la getting more and more pronounced on the haul. The government Is getting ready to show that the wn? to collect tho cor poration tax is to collect. The hew assistant secretary of the Department of Commerce and Labor is a Cable. That ought to hold awhile. If Mr. laruogle really wants to die porr, he might take up with that Dutch count v, ho seeks to have the Zuyder Zee pumpe 1 dry. Those Spaniard Oil officials are showing remarkable, appreciation of the adage about speech being silver and silence golden. The deadlocked houses of Parlia ment might take notice that King Ed ward 1b a good .enough arbitrator to suit Chile and tho United States. A man has just been committed to an asylum as insane because he spent his money for rowboats and fish hooks. If old Izaak Walton were only alive! What is a gentleman? is tha ques tion propounded by a New York editor. We suggest that he apply for the answer to the colleague who asked, Who is a democrat? When Mayor-elect Oaynor takes of fice with the first of the year it will soon develop whether tha people of greater New York have been fooled or only the Tammany bosses. The Alaska coal land promoter ap pears to have made It so easy for his banker backer by relieving him of all detail but paying the bills. Not so different from other promoters. The. fact that the message to con trols is not yet written neod cause no one uneasiness. Mr. Taft used to be a newspaper reporter, and no good re porter turns his story in till It's almost t!n-e to go to nrPRS. Tho traL.ict' uj Oiedt iirltain of Arubusiador Li -nsuu from Madrid to Washington is tell to be projected on the pU'a th:tt !i r'fslrcs a hotter clt matc. And! er new world triumph over Eurc""'- -""'Ved reputation. In Bsltln.urt) s proclaimed intention of becoming the literary center of the United States, Boston will discern a recrudescence of Maryland's ancient antagonism to Massachusetts. Also, the Chesapeake may look for an In vasion from the Hooslers As between the sect with plural wires and the cult that denies the sanc tity of marriage, America affords a' wide choice of religions which attempt to deal with the problem of wedlock. Every little while, aa In the rase of "the Christy girl," some aggrieved wife emphasizes the fact that the usual critic of these peculiar creeds are women, not men. According to Mr. Bryan, the worst abuse of a lawyer's power la "the sale of his services to predatory corpora tions." Accepting this statement with out argument, It is worthy of remark that predatory corporations would just rs soon hire democratic lawyers as re publican lawyers, and have never shown themselves to be particular about drawlug the party line. BeTeridge on the Vice Presidency. Senator Beverldge's article in the Century denominating the vice presi dency as the fifth wheel of the govern ment is lfss significant for the facts brought out as It is for the remedies suggested. - The senator reviews the history of the constitutional convention to show that the creation, of the office of vice president was an after-thought, without any sponsor claiming credit for It. He shows, further, that the original intention of the founders of the republic to make the heir-apparent possess the same qualities as those de manded in the president had been nul lified by the amendment adopted after the Aaron Burr episode providing for separate votes In the electoral college for president and vice president and the unofficial system of party nomi nating conventions since developed Into an integral factor in our govern ment. Few will take issue with the asser tion that the vice presidency. now, and for many years, has been simply trad ing stock for president-makers and used as a harmonizing sop for the de feated faction In the nominating con vention. When once elected the vice president simply fills a gap, waiting for the president to die or become inca pacitated, and incidentally performing the harmless function of presiding over the senate with no vote except when that body Is equally divided. Senator Beverldge evidently thinks that a pub lic man might as well be exiled to St. Helena or Devil's Island as to be sen tenced to a term in the vice presiden tial chair. Whether this picture is overdrawn or not, it is coupled with a dual propo sition to restore the office to its right ful position of power and usefulness in one or both of two ways. First, by investing the vice president with pow ers equal to those possessed by the speaker In the appointment of all sen ate committees, and second, by giving him a seat at the cabinet table. The admission of the vice president to the cabinet has been urged before, but has never obtained favor with the only power which could make It effective. So far as we recall, the proposed In vestiture of the vice president with plenary authority over the makeup of senate committees is the first sugges tion of this kind, and the strange thing about It is that it should come from Senator Beverldge, who is usually classed with the Insurgents, voicing the demand for divesting the speaker of these very same powers In the house. If there Is any merit In the protest against the speaker's all powerful control of committee assign ments it would certainly have equal force against making a second speaker out of the vice president. The office of vice president may be the fifth wheel of the government, but It will not be easily discarded or modi fied. In nearly every state in the union we have in the office of lieuten ant governor an almost exact counter part of the vice presidency which ena bles some forty distinguished gentle men to hold a waiting number as con tingent executives. The vice president and the lieutenant governors will con tinue on doing business at the old stand, notwithstanding the, convincing proof offered by Senator Beverldge that they are absolutely useless. The Faith of Their Mothers. Trapped In a living tomb at Cherry, face to face with death, the resource that buoyed the hearts and sustained the spirits of the grim and rough-lived miners was the simple faith of their childhood, learned at their mothers' knee. Laughter there was none, though It has been said that It is most American to be on laughing terms with destiny. Profanity there was none, though In the daily walks of life coarse and violent speech had been a habit. As In the camp of the sol diers under the guns of the Malakoff, immortalised by the poet Bayard Tay lor, the men In the subdued voice of the stricken cried, "Give us a song." And no popular ditty was their choice In that pit of darkness and of death, no frivolous tinkle of concert hall or street; but Instead, with a solemnity and a power peculiar to mile voices, they sang the prayerful hymn, "Abide with me, fast falls the eventide." And It brought to their troubled breasts the calm and peace of a Sabbath twi light at home. Similarly, when the passengers of the Valencia were thrown into the death waters off Vancouver, they burst forth into the soul-stirring strains of "Nearer my God to Thee," and the jubilant voices sounded clear and high above the rush of angry waters till the last victim was swept into silence from the bit of wreckage where he clung. At the final desper ate stand the human heart Involun tarily turns, no matter what its life career, with a ready trustfulness In the faith of the mothers. Yet not only In sudden extremity Is this faith a source of consolation and hppe. We all have known lives that because of steadfast devotion to their early faith have been able to surmount years Ojt vicissitudes with tranquillity. One woman of 85 years, whose personal life has been filled with afflictions and who has had no earthly measure of affection since she lost her husband and her sons, nas, nevertheless, kept her spirit so golden in her faith that she Is even now compiling a volume of experiences designed to convey the gospel of sunshine to those weary of life's burdens. If there Is a sublimity In the sudden return of the desperate to their moth ers' faith, there Is something saintly In the steadfast aweetnes characteris ing those gentle women who have sung inmost A Lull in the Recruiting. We regret to report that the recruit ing of Mr. Bryan's army of tariff re form seems to have encountered a sud den and unexpected lull. At any rate, Mr. Bryan's Commoner has ceased publishing, although perhaps only tem porarily, further responses from dem ocratic congressmen who were solicited to put themselves on record on the tariff program proposed by Mr. Bryan, which he evidently wanted made the democratic slogan In next year's con gressional elections. It seems that scarcely a baker's dozen of the democratic members of congress have deigned even to answer the appeal sent out by Mr. Bryan for a letter of endorsement. And even the few who have answered disclose such wide variation of opinion that the pos sibility of ever getting the army to march in step seems decidedly remote. The strange part of the performance is that while Mr. Sulzer of Tammany hall came In first as color bearer in the great cause of reform, only one of the three democratic congressmen from Mr. Bryan's home state has eo far signed up his enlistment papers. The Bryan program calls for free admission of all raw materials and products handled by trusts and a grad ual reduction of all other tariff duties down to 2 5 per cent. But this plainly does not offer any common ground for the various kinds of democrats to Btand on. It develops that there are democrats who believe In absolute free trade as a Divine right, democrats who favor a revenue tariff only, democrats who want luxuries taxed and neces saries untaxed, and democrats who are out for all the protection they can get for their own constituencies. Had there been any possibility of harmoniz ing the democrats on a tariff program In the extra session of congress It would have devolved on their leaders to have formulated a democratic tariff bill and to have offered it as a substi tute for the republican tariff bill. The very fact that no attempt was made to let the people know what kind of a tariff they would have gotten If the democrats were In control Is conclusive proof that the tariff program proposed by Mr. Bryan cannot be made the test of democratic faith. Bashfulness, or a Tribute? Commenting on the quiet and con templative manner with which they were recived by the president, a party of young schoolgirls who visited the White House during the week decided among themselves that Mr. Taft is bashful. "A very nice man, but so diffident," was the way one of them put It. Now, It is possible and probable that the girls have misunderstood the presi dent, for it is a common fault for them to misunderstand the masculine attitude toward the wholesome fresh ness and charm of girlhood such as evidently graced this visiting galaxy. Nothing more completely appeals to the better nature of man than the graces of girlhood at the period of their most innocent outlook on life. And almost Invariably when a man is thus Impressed he Is silently apprecia tive. Even though his diffidence of utterance be mistaken for the awful crime of bashfulness, still must he pay devotion to the gracious spirit of girl hood in silent reflection. This Is a masculine trait not com monly credited by woman, so that it Is not surprising that the White House visitors referred to went away wonder ing at the sudden silence of a chief executive usually ready with apt speech on all other occasions. Other Time., Other Manners. Reviving the customs of a century ago, one of the social leaders In a large American city recently celebrated a fashionable debut with all the pomp and ceremony of the olden times. Every little while some such reversion is attempted from the forms and man ners of the modern day, In the expecta tion that a special thrill of novelty will be experienced or an additional height of happiness attained, yet, on the whole, every revival of the sort proves to be a disappointment. The truth Is, the glamour that has been cast over the Identity of the good old times Is very largely a false one. The fact that we have progressed be yond those customs is in Itself suffi cient evidence that the allurement of the ancient days Is largely a polite fic tion. The old ways served their turn and were unto their day adequate, but with the evolution of other affairs peo ple come to a better understanding of the eternal fitness of things, nnd in so cial functions, as In all the amenities of life, they have entered upon an era of good new times which suit the modern temperament so completely that the good old days have vanishea beyond more than an occasional luke warm recall. In the Midit of life. Rameses, king of Egypt, is coming to New York at an opportune time, for the woman claiming to be the world's greatest spiritualistic medium is now operating in that city, under the guidance of a cult which believes that she baa power to raise the dead, and there Is no question that Rameses has been dead three thousand years. The metropolis can hardly be credited with living up to its reputa tion for the spectacular and extraordi nary, If it does not arrange for the Palladino'8 Incantations over this cele brated mummy. Surely if she can In voke a spirit from the air many leagues removed from the resting place of its corporeal Investiture, she might "Abide with me" In their hearts through all the years. all the more readily summon It to the exact spot where reposes the mortal residuum. And what a highly Interesting story might be told by this ruler of ancient days, reincarnated, In the presence of the amazing modern Manhattan. What would he have to say of the daughters of the Hudson as contrasted with the daughters of his Nile, and how would the metropolitan skyscrapers compare, from his viewpoint, with the early pyramids? New York could learn some Interesting things from old Rameses, and when the college boys got him In tow and sang -him their rollicking songs In which his name is celebrated, what a good time he could have seeing the up-to-date sights. Corporations and Individuals. ( From the comment made by former Senator Clark of Montana on the Standard Oil decision, It Is evident that he has no sympathy with large corpor ate aggregations of capital, but that Instead, he would have all enterprises operated through Individual control The proposal to fix Individual respon sibility for corporations has been made repeatedly, but this is probably tho first serious suggestion from a multi millionaire that the large corporations might well be abolished altogether. Mr. Clark is fortunate in having been able to handle his Important in terests so successfully on the strength of his own personality, yet one cannot but wonder how long he would have eschewed the corporation, had he un dertaken to extend his field. The American oil industry could never have become such a world-wide commercial enterprise If Mr. Rockefeller had not assembled corporate forces, nor could Mr. Harrlman have developed the vast railroad properties with which he was identlfied.-had it not been for the amassing of corporate capital. How would the Individual raise the millions required nowadays in any great enter prise, if he had not the corporate se curities to pledge or dispose of? There is, of necessity, a limit even to corpor ation credit, but In present-day finance the Individual credit cuts relatively still smaller figure, yet it is on credit that the bulk of the world's business is transacted. Individualism In important projects Is commendable as far as it may be carried, but the burdens of commerce have become too tremendous for even the most powerful personal giant to at tempt to carry alone. In these modern days of vast things, the corporation has come to serve a useful purpose and It can not be discarded until some other equally or more servlcable agency is available. Simplification. The recent speech of President Woodrow Wilson of Princeton earn estly advocates that election reform be directed towardsimpliflcation of the ballot. "We give the voter," he says, "so many persons to vote for that the ballot becomes a complicated thing which he has not time himself to pre pare, and which he cannot thoroughly understand after It has been prepared for him by the professional politician." To reinforce what, he declares to be the objections to the present system Dr. Wilson cites one ballot he has seen which contained the names of 700 can didates printed In compact columns much larger than the single sheet of a newspaper. "The ballots devised even by ballot reformers throughout the country," he adds, "differ from this ex traordinary ballot only In the number of names, which run from the scores to the hundreds." Nebraska voters who remember the horrors of the official ballot used In the late state-wide pri mary, under the wide-open primary law Inflicted by the late democratic legislature, could almost Imagine that President Wilson had their plight in mind. To people who have had experi ence with such confusing election ma chinery this conclusion should particu larly appeal: It la plain that the way of reform Ilea in the direction of simplification. If the voter Is to know what he Is about, the num ber of persons lie la to be called upon to vote for must be reduced to a minimum. When it la so reducsd both nomination and election will become direct, simple and Intelligible. The completion of another Important railroad In Alaska serves to remind Americans of the wonderful progress being made in that territory. It was an event but of yesterday to read of the hardships and fatalities attending the negotiation of White Horse, Chil koot and other passes, by the pioneers on the trail for gold, yet today places which were a short time ago abso lutely Inaccessible have been brought within reach not only of adventurous fortune-seekers, but also of comfort demanding tourists. In the spanning of gorges and the bridging of glaciers, Alaska has offered extraordinary prob lems which have been successfully solved by modern engineering. American inventors will take heart from the decision In the German courts sustaining the convention recently exe cuted with our government for their protection. It Is apparent from the finality of the decree that the Interna tional patent right Is now definitely established, and that American Inven tions have at last acquired safeguards that shall enable exclusive exploitation in nearly every Important civilized country. The singular spectacle is presented In North Carolina of the medical pro fession objecting to the governor's designation of a "Sanitary Sunday," when each minister was requested to preach a sermon bearing on the cam paign against tuberculosis. At that dis tance it Is not eay to see what harm the pulpit can do by urging the peo ple to observe sanitary requirements. Speaker Cannon is quoting Bryan on himself to prove him Inconsistent in his attack on the rules by which the procedure In congress Is governed. The speaker might keep on quoting Bryan for and against all Borts of propositions almost Indefinitely. Mr. Bryan has al ways reserved the right to change his mind with or without cause. When the new Union depot tor Omaha was erected only ten years ago It was supposed that adequate facilities had been provided for a generation to come. The fact that the railroads al ready find it necessary to enlarge the station testifies to Omaha's rapid growth in excess of all anticipation. Reversing: the Interest. Washington Star. Interest In the beet sugar Industry has been largely replaced by Interest In the sugar beat enterprise. Contempt of Court. Wall Street Journal. President Tift, In addition to devising ways of minimising delays in tha courts of Justice, might also start a movement for condensing legal opinions. Knockout for Theorists. Boston Hera d. The fact that eight college players were among the thirty foot ball fatalities rather staggers those who contend that only un trained athletes are susceptible to the dangers of the game. Importance of a tirtsnsy. Baltimore News. When Uncle Sam finishes with Nica ragua he ought to be sure to make a good getaway. Every time he becomes mixed up in a squabble with a seml clvlllzed people these days he winds up by having them on his hands. Punish 'em, If necessary, but don't try to govern 'em. Tendency of the Times. San Francisco Chronicle. Another great merger of railroads is announced. Pretty soon all the little cor porations will be absorbed by the big ones. When the feat Is accomplished the business of regru'atlng will be simplified. It Is easier to exercise watchfulness over a half a dozen than over a thousand dif ferent concerns. Distribution of the Army. Boston Transcript. From the report of the adjutant general of the army It appears, that fully 75 per cent of the officers and men of the con tinental army are stationed In the United States, or nearly 62,000, whereas there were In the Philippines 14,240, exclusive of 6,729 "scouts" or native soldiers. Alaska nnd Hawaii call for about 1.200 each, and the military duty in Porto Rico is done by the local regiment, which Is about 700 strong. In spite of the presence of 60,000 regulars on home soil our liberties do not appear abbreviated to any appreciable extent. What Aboat the Tainted Money T Springfield Republican. A very grave question fn ethics is pre sented to all of the religious, charitable, educational and scientific bodies that have accepted Mr. Rockefeller's money. They may as well prepare to answer It. As suming that the United Stales supreme court will sustain the circuit court in de claring the Standard Oil company an un lawful combination, it follows that Mr. Rockefeller has been giving away money earned by illegal processes. Should money of this sort be retained by the recipients of Mr. Rockefeller's bounty? Here Is an other opportunity for Rev. Dr. Washing ton Gladden. Exporting; Absentee Incomes. New York World. It Is reckoned that this country must send abroad nearly $fiO,000,000 a year as Interest on debts and dowries, for tourist expenses and in Immigrants' remittances. So there was a shortage last year of about 22S,000,000 and of $3SO,000.000 in nine months thia year. By fresh borrowing the Inter eat payment has thus Increased In two years by some $24,000,000. The extensive customs house frauds make It likely that even this vast shortage is understated. To pay Interest upon the dowries of alx American women JO.OOO.OOO pounds of cot ton must cros.1 the sea this year. To pay the rentals ol one absentee landlord of New York will take 6,000,000 bushela of wheat. Tourists' and health seekers' trips help the country by promoting trade abroad and bringing back information; but when to the growth of extravagance and to the waste of an artificially heightened cost of !lving is added the burden of supporting "American colonies" in Euro pean capitals, the balance of trade is af fected with no corresponding advantage. PERSONAL AND OTHERWISE. Minneapolis takes kindly to the treat ment of S6-cent gas. j Colonel John Jacob Astor, care and foot free, allows hlB friends to do the worrying. Twenty-six days to Christmas. If you don't do it early the crowd will do you later. The National Geographic society of Wash ington regrets to report that tr. Cook will "tell It to the Danes" first. The statue of Purity In the Tenderloin section of New York City has been found to be hollow, filled with air, and cold air at that. As near as the stargazers can determine, the head of Halley's comet has a lid built on the dlshpan order. Has Mra. Halley missed her lid 7 Chicago imagines that the smoke nuis ance costs the city $50,000,000 annually,' but omits crediting the value of a continuous output of smoked hums. Denver balks at the proposition to put up $100,000 for an aviation meet there. High fliers burn too much money for the crowd on the surface. Kansas City Is to get a $5,000,000 union depot. The city and the railroads have come together on site and plans and the beginning of work ordered. In a few years the ancient museum of human traffic will be consigned to the Jupk heap. Henry Latham la the most Imposing of French aviators. In response to an Invita tion to Join a hunting party; he flew to the locality, circled around the lodge, and landed at the door, fowllngplece In hand. Expert knockers of ghostly trances pro nounce the latest Imported medium a clumsy exponent of the art. The table moving act proved an kneesy one, while the medium's limbs were underneath. Away from it, the table stuck to the floor. Every heart-whole man must admire the good tasta of the New York woman, a ten-times millionairess, who handed large empty mittens to poverty-stricken nobles and married an American with $20,000,000. A happy partnership of business and pleas ure. John Hays Hammond insists that ha la not taxed enough and asks that his per sonal assessment be raised from $100, OuO to $500,000. Mr. Hammond is doing quit well, but the tax commissioners required an extra session to calm their nerves for the operation.- Remarkable lew Way of Mounting Diamonds r " Jg- A Ct 'r.'iX Solitaire 1 At $24 Bolltaire diamonds have grown beyond the parse of a (fast many, so it remained for a Nswark, N. J., diamond mounter an old Hollander to soIts tha problem of "how to produce a solitaire offset at a mnoav less cost." Ba has patented a system whereby seven or mora small diamonds are olustered without any apparent dividing- Una between the atonee tha mountings are of platinum the rings of purest gold. Two feat away you may defy AKTOKE to tell whether your ring Is a solitaire or a cluster of small gams. Vve secured the first lot of these "patent solitaires' in Omaha the same rings are selling just now in the east at $35 hut I'm going to make a Christmas special of 'em at $24. How even at 994 X am willing to wait for my pay. Just pick out one of thasa rings now wear It give It away as a Christmas gift do as you choose with it, and pay ma tha 934 just as you earn it la easy, small credit payments. HANDE 1522 Farnam Street, Omaha Nebraska SERMONS BOILED DOW. Ths only pleasures enjoyed aro those that are earned. Your future depends on what you are making the present. They who guard their eyes are likely to watch their tongues. Blasts of sorrow uncover false friends and reveal true ones. You cannot Judge a man's faith In God by his credulity with men. Our own roses are never quite as fair as our neighbor's cabbages. The greatest crime against love is to use Its language and mlas its life. The best thing about a good man la that he never knows how good he is. Nothing more quickly blinds a man to all good than looking. out for himself alone. No man gets any closer to real religion by Jumping into a theological discussion. People who brag of what they give ths world never take stock of what they owe. Heresy hunting is the attempt to make my chart servo as the other man's com- PSSB. He who has piety only to save himself has neither enough to help him nor to hurt him. Taking a broom to our alleys may ba taking a short cut to the heavenly man sions. ' Some never sea the difference between giving friendly counsel and hurling advlca at one. This Is always a heartless world to those who crata up their hearts for fear of hurt ing them. The man who boasts of being able to break a bad habit never stops long enough to take up his own bluff. Chicago Tri bune. DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES. They had been discussing the tendency to give advice to mothers. "Who Is capable of telling us how to rear our own children?" asked one, with an air of finality. "Well," said the other, "If we leave the spinsters out of consideration, I should say the children themselves." Philadelphia Ledger. "Isn't that the pretty Miss Scribbler? I'm told she's quite literary." "Who said so?" "She did, herself." " 'Twould be a pity to wake her up." Judge. "Did the minister say anything comfort ing?" asked the neighbor of the widow reoently bereaved. "Indeed, he didn't," was the quick re ply. "He said my hutband was better off." Puck. Young Husband Darling, you are worth your weight in Young Wife Gold, George? Young Husband Well, let It go at that, love. In the wild enthusiasm of the mo msnt, though, I was going to say porter house steak. Chicago Record-Herald. "Pshaw!" exclaimed Miss Yerner. Im patiently, "I'm sure we'll miss the first act. We've waited a good many minutes for that mother of mine." "Hours, I should say," Mr. Ploman re torted, rather crossly. "Ours? Oh, George!" she cried, and laid her blushing cheek upon tils shirt front. Catholic standard and Times. Mr. Kajones, who had happened to step iniv mo uHiiiir wnue looaing ror a book. was J ust in time to see somebody slip haa. tlly off somebody's elan knee. "Ah, Bessie," he observed, pleasantly "thla Is a merger, is it? Or is it a limited partnership?" "Neither, papa," said Bt-nsie, . recovering herself instantly: "George is my holding company that's all." Chicago Tribune. "Do you think he really loves her?" "Yea, Indeed. They've been married over 17q Sell 100 Kinds inoral Waters W.-iw.ar'SBBt: IIU 1' Ml ',Si'.rfi'-eyoT . We sell over 100 kinds Imported and American Mineral Waters, and. as we ob tain direct from eprlnjss .ir importer, can guarantee frehnes and genuineness. Horo l.lthia Water, bot., ioc; case, 15.00. Uoro Llthia Water, pints., dozen, $'1.60; cM) 10O. $10.00. We are distributing agents in Oinalia for the celebrated waters from Excelsior cSprlnss. Mo., and mcII at following prices: Regent, quart boltle, .it, dozen, $i.25; case, 60 bottles, $ Cu. Hulplio-faallne buart bottle, 2bc; doten, $2.25; case. 6U bottles, $ 00. riulpim-ISallne, quart boltle, 25c; dozen, 1.C0 Koterlan. quart bottle, ,0c; dozen, $2.00 Uuterlun, pint boltle, 15c; dozen, $1 60. tloterlan Ginger Ale. pint boltle, 15c; dozen, $1.60. Koterlan Ginger Ale, quart bottle, 25c dozen, $2.26. ljtamoinl Lltlia. half-galloq bottle, 40c; case, 1 dozen, $4.00 Crystal Lithiu, five-gallon Jugs, each $2 00. Halt Hulphur, five gallon Jugs, each. $2 26 iHillvery free to any part of Omaha Council Bluffs or South Omaha. alius McCOHBrxz.1, s&ua eo 16th and Dodge. OWL DBUO CO lets and Barney. la this ring you get f a year now and he never thinks of stand ing on the rear platform of the car and finishing his cigar If she's with him." De troit Free Press. HIS GIFTS. Dixie Wolcott in Llpplncott's. "No lands nor gold do I hold In fee; i Naught can I give the world," said he. Put many a heart as he passed along Was cheered by the lilt of his merry song; While hapless wanderers, gone astray, Were guided back to the better way; And eyes that were dimmed with tears the while Would flash once more an answerln smile. 'The rarest gifts to be given away Are neither lands nor gold," said they. All 1909 Model Think of buying at $863, for Instance, an "Apollo" Player Piano that sells reg ularly at 7BO gorgeous new Instrument that will leaTo a trail of pleasure and a taste for all that ia good in niuslo, wherever it may be plaoed. It doesn't seem as though "Apollo" prices OUOHT to be out, does itf But then, the 1910 models are on " their way we wish to start a clean calendar with s 'olean" floor therefore this "V4 off" on i'1S09" mod els. Tou, of course, are by this time aware of the "Anollc'' supremacy you EVOW It to be the first 88 - note player you JCBTOW it la the only player playing ANT size or kind of music. Melville Clark has Instilled Into every "Apollo" a subtle ''some thing" that CAJfWOT be Imitated It's an instru ment of ezprssslon many others are not. Free Library of Kusic, Too Buy one of these 4 off "ApoUos" this week If pos sible, and get a TU1 li brary of inusio with It end you've our word for it that the Christmas gift that will create more con sternation. More Joy, than an "Apollo" has not been mads yet. Come In and we will ar range a private "Apollo" concert for you THE IT you'll decide t A. Hospe Co. 1513 Douglas Street B the effect o imm Apollo La Player Piaeos! j