TIIK OMAHA SUNDAY HKK: NOVEMBER 14, 1f09.
n
Tim Omaha Sunday I3er
KOL'NDF.D BY EDWARD ROFKWATEH.
VICTOR ROKKWATER, EDITOR.
Kntered lit Omaha postoflce as second
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STATEMENT OF Cmcrt.ATION".
state of Nrhra.sKa, Douglas County, ss r
George R. Tsschuck, treasurer of The Bee
Publishing Company, being duly worn:
aavs that the actual numher of full
complete topics of The Dallv. Morning.
Evening and Sunday Pe printed during
tha month of October, was as imi ".
1... .43,350 11. .,.42,940
i 43,080 13 42,160
21. . . .41.790
S3. . . .43,490
24 40,330
25. . . .41,990
2 41,990
27 43,850
28 43,310
29. .'. .43,000
30 43.070
SI 40,500
t.... 40,600
4.... 43,640
... .49,510
.... 43,450
T... .43,670
S 43,610
.... 43,880
10.... 40,300
14. .
15..
1..
17..
IS. .
19. .
10. .
11. .
.42,240
.43,220
.43,560
.40,200
.43,450
.42,050
.43,250
.43,050
11 43,710
Total 1,303,040
Returned copies 6,670
Net total ; 1,393,370
Dally average 41,721
GEORGE B. TZSCHL'CK.
Treasurer.
Subscribed In m v presence and sworn to
before me thia 1st day of November, 1!W9. I
(Seal.) M. P. WALKER, 4
Notary rumic
abserlbers leaving the tlty trm
aararlly should ' bar Tha He
Mailed to then. Address will ba
eaaaged aa oftea aa reqaested.
If the turkey gobbler's eye is good
he can read the handwriting on the
wall.
1 The winter wheat farmer finds no
fault with a downpour at this particu
lar season of the year.
. ' It must seem rather good to Mr.
Taft to be at home once more with
'no brass bands playing "Hail to the
Chief."
. The National Geographical society
cuts no ice with Dr. Cook so long aa
the Chautauqua circuit provides him
with pay dirt.
With early statehood looming up,
the appointment as territorial gover
nor of New Mexico is not half so
tempting as It used to be.
Prompt to meet the indiscretion of
the general who offended Austria the
Italian cabinet has sent Into retirement
Aslnart via pons aslnorum.
The sudden termination of the ca
reer of Karl Bullock, the boy bandit,
Is a striking commentary on the text
"The wages of sin is death."
Zbyszko looks like a new chrysan
themum, but It's only a Polish champ
Ion who expects to trip Wrestler
Gotch to the mat over his name.
The Increase of fifty cents a bottle
on champagne Is another sign of a
hard winter among the poor barons
. who have put up the prices of house
hold commodities.
v - ,
It is the early wet blanket of snow
that maketh the heart of the westerner
rejoice and the spirit of the seed to
sing through the winter of a "bounteous
springtime and harvest.
News that the steel trust is absorb
ing the soft coal trust affords addi
tional cause for governmental activity
In safeguarding for the future all coal
lands fctlll in the public domain.
Everyone who has ever sawed
the biggest and hardest and knottiest
log In the woodpile, knows exactly
how. Uncle Sam feels about getting
that Culebra cut half - through at
Panama.
Lest we Imagine that this is a dis
honest world, let us meditate on the
late General O. O. Howard, who spent
$12,000,000 in the freedmen's bureau
work with never a charge of graft.
.
And now noun well lntentloned folks
have set out to prove that Halley's
comet and the Star of Bethlehem are
one and the same celestial visitor.
Another chance for heresy charges.
The western hymn writer who has
been detected aa a horse thief, mani
fests the poet's old-time carelessness
about the laws of the country, so long
as he is permitted to write the songs.
The fact that one of those window
smashing suffragettes In London was
originally a Philadelphia Quakeress
did not offer itself as an extenuating
circumstance in the eyes of the law,
and she will have a month in jail to
reflect on the injustice of British jus
tice. Now that it is shown that the
women work in the fields to support
the lazy fellows who are always get
ting up those Central American revo
lutions, we have lets respect than ever
Tor the insurrectionists. An army of
able-bodied men might better be work
ing fur a living than scrambling for
political spoils while the women toil
slo turaoU Iham.
Housing the State University.
The authorities charger! with the
management of Nebraka State univer
sity are beginning to realize that the
next big problem before them la that
of housing the institution. Housing the
university as It exist" today presents a
difficult, enough task, but the still
more important demand is for a far
seeing plan that will not only provide
for present needs, but will be adapted
to the vastly expanded requirements
of the not distant future.
While buildings and campus, in
themselves, by no means make a uni
versity, the rapid growth of our state
university has prevented adequate at
tention being devoted to this feature.
Nebraska's university compares well
with similar institutions of other pro
gressive states in everything but ma
terial surroundings. It is significant
that it waited for the perfection of a
plan for comprehensive development
of the medical department at Omaha
to emphasize and accentuate the
marked defects of the building group
of the parent institution at Lincoln.
The problem of suitably housing the
state university Is not to be worked
out over night. It Involves the question
whether it is better to try to extend
the present cramped location or to
transplant the university bodily to a
new site free from existing encum
brances and affording ample room to
grow. It Involves the question of style
of architecture and landscape garden
ing. It involves the question of fixing
the boundary line of the university's
activities. . It provides the question of
the relation of the Institution to its
student body and to the city of Lin
coln as a business center and a social
community. The problem of housing
the university calls for careful and de
liberate consideration, and yet the de
cision cannot be too long deferred.
Our Variegated Alphabet.
Since the modern school system dis
carded the teaching of the alphabet
some of us old fogies who studied
their A- B C's have had reason to
lament no longer, for one of the great
university psychologists has given a
newer dignity and distinction to. the
alphabet that should restore It to its
pristine precedence without delay. In
brief, the theory is that each letter has
its own color tone, as orange for I,
reddish for Z, deep blue for O. Any
one who knows all the letters can
readily see that before the list is com
pletely painted the alphabet will have
made Joseph's famous coat take to the
woods and hide among the autumn
leaves.
It is an undeniably pretty theory
and has infinite possibilities. Starting
with the knowledge that S has a yel
lowish tone, we may Instantly conceive
that the $ mark is pure golden. Carry
ing the scheme into words, we recog
nize the cucumber as green, and the
politician as a rich plum color. Blue
blazes has long been recognized as a
characteristic of some forms of ex
pression, just as the air has been
known to be made black .with some
other varieties, andwe now realize
that the responsibility of talking one
deaf, dumb and blind" may be traced
to the dazzling tints displayed in the
conversational pyrotechnics. But the
scientific discovery presents a dlscour-
aging outlook in the prodigious work
that will be entailed In the remodeling
of familiar expressions. Aa for in
stance, the term "hue and cry," which
in the face cf this color scheme is dis
tinctly tautological. The word cry
necessarily carries Its own mournful
hue, just as the word smile immedi
ately suggests a mellow glow that is
Invisible after 8 o'clock.
But these color tones In letters and
words are really a great thing, and the
close student of the scheme may be
able to frame up a personal vocabu
lary In such harmony that he shall
always be able to radiate either a
heliotrope or a rose-colored atmos
phere when calling upon his best girl,
or a fawn color when seeking to
negotiate a loan. Welcome anew to
the alphabet, so long laid away in
lavender, and let us acclaim its varie
gated glories with all the honors for
merly accorded to only red letter days.
Troubles of the Accountants.
Expert accountants and professional
bookkeepers are sighting all sorts of
troubles in front of them arising out
of the corporation Income- tax en
grafted on the new tariff law. The
phraseology of the law Is naturally
open to various constructions as is the
phraseology of nearly every law, but
more than that the basis on which the
tax on corporate net revenues is to be
adjusted Is pronounced by them to be
unscientific and violative of every rule
of safe and sound accounting.
The question propounded by the tax
gatherer is to be, What are the net re
ceipts of the corporations for the pre
ceding calendar year after making cer
tain specified deductions? Taking the
basis of net receipts instead of net
earnings, is denounced as unscientific
because actual collections and outgo
are not necessarily the same as actual
revenue earned and obligations In
curred. The arbitrary fixing of the
calendar year for all corporations, not
withstanding the fact that the corpor
ate year may overlap from one year to
another, also makes It incumbent on
such corporations to balance accounts
and charge off various Items of ex
pense a second time Instead of only
once. The penalties of the law for fail
ure to comply with Its requirements
are likewise held up as threateningly
dangerous to corporations whose book
keepers make unavoidable mistakes.
There is no doubt that the new cor
poration tax law means a great deal of
work for the accountant and auditors.
and for some big corporations will en
tall no small burden to got out the re
quisite returns. The whole law, of
course, la likely to be contested In
court, but, assuming that it holds
good, it will take time and experience
to put the machinery of the new
tax Into smooth running order. Yet It
may be reasonably taken for granted
that the policy of the government will
be to facilitate compliance where an
honest effort to comply is manifested
and that the penalties will be Invoked
only where there is evidence of de
liberate Intention to Ignore the law
or evade the tax. The accountants who
keep books for corporations will be ex
pected to do their best to make the
returns called for by the law, and have
a right to expect in return an oppor
tunity to correct unintentional mis
takes. The Latest in Locomotion.
Invention is traveling fast in
quest of faster locomotion until
its
we
have grown accustomed to the rapid
supplanting of new devices designed
to revolutionize travel. The turbine has
developed amazing possibilities of
speed for the steamship. Automobiles
and airships have added their measure
of bewilderment to the rapidity of
flight over the earth's surface and
above it. But railroads have continued
to be our chief traffic-bearer and rail
roads, as we know them, seem to have
reached the limit of their capacity for
speed.
Practical operation has Just been
demonstrated, however, of a new form
of railroad that appears to merit all
that Its Inventor claims for It, a swift
ness exceeding 100 miles an hour In
comparative safety. Louis Brennan,
who became famous through his Inven
tion of the torpedo which bears
bis name, found the world skeptical
when he announced some time ago that
he could combine the gyroscope and
monorail into a practical form of loco
motion, yet that Is what he la now
credited with having accomplished.
In his public demonstration in England
a few days ago he used a forty-foot car
carrying forty passengers, operated
over a single rail In an upright posi
tion by two huge gyroscopes. An elec
tric motor kept the gyroscopes revolv
ing and drove the car at high speed
along stretches of straight track and
around sharp curves with an easy and
comfortable motion.
Now that this achievement Is of
ficially applauded as the beginning of
a revolution In railroading, we may
look for its present application as at
least a possibility. Every boy who has
ever spun a top will at once recognize
the principle of the invention, which, if
completely successful, will transform
an ancient toy into an, agency for
man's fastest flight. I
Getting- the Ringleaders.
From the latest announcement Im
plicating men higher up In the sugar
frauds It Is evident that the watch
word of the government U, "Let no
guilty man escape" against whom
there is evidence warranting prosecu
tion. The difficulty of securing tangible
proof appears as great in these sugar
fraud cases as in the notorious whisky
ring frauds which burdened the second
term of President Grant. In that his
toric episode it will be remembered
that while the administration was not
directly Involved, officials of the reve
nue department were found to be in
league with the crooked distillery in
terests and that because of the intri
cate care with which the plot was per
fected Secretary Bristow of the Treas
ury department was confronted with a
gigantic task in ferreting out the
offenders. Ultimately the men higher
up were caught and nearly 250 indict
ments brought against distillers and
revenue officials, conviction of the
ringleaders being fttially secured. Al
though the government had been de
frauded of nearly $1,700,000 before
the extent of the conspiracy was mani
fest, the people had the satisfaction of
seeing the whisky ring broken up and
the conspirators either placed In prison
or made outcasts for life.
Corruption In the customs collection
occasionally crops out In spite of the
utmost vigilance and the sudden in
fusion of new blood is having a visible
effect on the health of the service.
Powerful interests have assailed the
activities of the administration in pur
suing the sugar frauds just as they
assailed those attacking the whisky
ring in Grant's time, but having
started In to clean house Uncle Sam
must do a thorough job and can be no
respecter of persons.
Home for the Holidays.
What a merry, old-fashioned flavor
arises from the little paragraph in the
current news, simply stating that "the
president will spend the Christmas
holidays in the White House with his
family." Here is presented a picture
of home-gathering which will in
stantly appeal to every American fam
ily, father returned from his Journey
lngs and the children back from
school. The responsibility of official
position disappears for the time and
the chief executive becomes the man of
family, closely akin to all other fathers
similarly celebrating the annual festiv
ities at the hearthstone.
Christmas at the White House con
jures up a scene of holly and ever
green, with good cheer toning official
dignity, and with substantial comfort,
elbowing its way good-naturedly
toward fireside and table, for a time
relegating the formalities of state. In
contrast with the pomp of regal pal
ace, the very name White House Is
suggestive of the simplicity of Amerl-t-au
traditions, and the quiet announce
ment of the plan for a family reunion
at Yuletlde reminds us all of the
wholesome fart that our presidents are
representative of us as a plain people,
and Infuses the real Christmas spirit
Into our lives In preparation for the
Thanksgiving celebration that Inaugu
rates the busy term of gift-platnlng
and holiday-making, which is at its
merry best under the home roof-tree.
The Family Unit of Society.
The steady Increase of divorce is
generally regarded as a most ominous
menace to the progress of the race.
That there has been a tremendous In
crease in the proportion of marriage
dissolutions, and that the rate of in
crease Is still growing in this country
has been demonstrated over and over
by the statistics. Is the divorce evil
ultimately to disrupt the family as a
unit of civilized society? This is the
question that is self-propounded when
ever the subject of divorce is under
consideration.
It is reassuring to find that the most
recent and most exhaustive study of
the diVorce problem answers this ques
tion in the negative. A volume Just
Issued embodying the investigations of
Dr. James P. Llchtenberger Into the
facts of divorce which he calls "A
Study in Social Causation" Insists that
the modern Increase of family dis
union is produced by changing condi
tions in the industrial, economic and
social relations of the sexes; that It is
due to the spread of intelligence and
the emancipation of women manifested
In social friction that Is Irritating but
not necessarily destructive. The new
conditions make it necessary that
there be greater freedom of divorce
rather than less, so that the family of
the future may be founded upon vol
untary will and not on external force.
Summing up his generalizations, Dr.
Llchtenberger formulates the follow
ing:
The single palling; family will persist
It will be founded freely upon the natural
basis of "mutual attraction and prefer
ence." It will be entered Into and per
petuated by choice. Subordination and
domination will be eliminated. It will be
the voluntary union of one man and one
woman, prospectively for life on tha basis
of mutual respect, rights and privileges
An approximate equality of actual or po
tential economic opportunity will over
come sex dependence and an equal stand
ard of morals will minimize sexual Im
morality. Theoretical monogamy will tend
to become actual monogamy. The func
tion of the family will consist In the per
petuation and education of the race
Economlo burdens will be lightened.
wifehood of choice and a motherhood of
privilege will Insure not more numerous,
but better born children. The higher edu
cation and mora systematic development
of women will result In the better train
ing; of the youth. The state may safely
be entrusted with the problem of secular
education and the church with the re
ligious instruction, but the borne will con
tinue to be the only school adequate for
the development of strong personality and
the attainment of life In all its highest
manifestations.
After all the alarms sounded over
the admitted evils of divorce and all
the dire predictions of certainty of
family chaos unless divorce is wholly
suppressed, this statement from an un
biased authority, who haa approached
the subject as a scientific problem, at
least lets In a ray of hope to Illumine
the darkness of the future and to en
courage faith that the family unit of
society will eventually be strengthened
by purification.
The Missionary Pathfinder.
Inclusion of a bequest of nearly
$3,000,000 for foreign missions in the
recent will of an American millionaire
afforded opportunity for the custom
ary criticism of those who are opposed
to this particular cause. Adherents of
the Christian church are familiar with
the apostolic doctrine of their faith
which commands to "go forth Into all
the world and preach the gospel to
every creature," and believe that for
eign missions are but an exponent of
this fundamental. But as a matter of
fact the missionary la more than an
exponent of a religious propaganda.
As a matter of business, to put the
matter in Its basest light, money spent
for missions Is a form of Investment
on which returns are expected.
Any merchant familiar with the de
velopment of the world's commerce
will testify that trade follows the mis
sionary. That has been the experi
ence in all lands. Our own country was
originally opened up to traffic largely
through the Instrumentality of the re
ligious apostle of civilization and the
nomenclature of the west is full of
relics of those early pioneers. The
missionary does not force his creed
upon any native; indeed, in many
lands the converts are few and far be
tween; but wherever the mission Is ex
tended, not only are the civilizing
forces of the white man fostered
among a people who are benefited by
them, but also the commerce of the
white man takes a new foothold and
begins a further advance, so that prac
tically, as well as ethically, the occa
slonal gift of a few millions to., the
cause of missions Is not to be con
sldered money thrown away.
According to the Lincoln Journal
the "unless" in Mr. Bryan's disinclina
tion to announce himself as a candi
date for the United States senate is to
be filled out, "unless the other demo
cratic aspirants get into such a
wrangle that they see no other way
out but to withdraw altogether and
leave the field free to him." With this
advance notice it behooves Mr.
Bryan's friends to set all the other
would-be democratic senators at sixes
and sevens with one another.
The deeper the promoters of that so
ciety for the prevention of Infant mor
tality go Into their subject, the more
they will realize that they have under
taken the one thing, which In all the
J world, la moat .worth while, Though,
many strong forces not only or ignor
ance but also of civilization are arrayed
against them, starting the babies well
along a healthy life Is more valuable
to any nation than the building of the
fleetest and most powerful Dread-
naught.
Since Lady Cook has gone back to
England in disgust because .she found
American women too busy spending
their husbands' money to bother about
sharing their husbands' votes, we may
resume our own solutions of the prob
lem of how to keep our wives happy
though voteless.
While we are cataloging the modern
Inventions to whose universal use we
have grown so accustomed, let us not
forget the stemwlndlng watch. Every
man of forty years can remember the
day of the watchkey, and the trouble
to keep it cleaned out. Yet who carries
one now? .
That story about a flock of ducks
drowning by a sudden shower Indi
cates either that the deluge was unpre
cedented or else that the birds had be
come acclimated to the extremely dry
atmosphere of one of the new prohibi
tion states.
If the National Live Stock exchange
ehall prove the oleomargarine tax re
sponsible for the high price of butter,
there will be a lot of people sympa
thizing with them in their effort to
get the tax eliminated.
I
Mr. Gaynor s statement that he
that
spent no money in running for mayor,
likens his victory to that of Dewey, ob
tained through a maximum of damage
to the enemy at a minimum of cost to
himself.
Feed Liberally Keep
Chicago Tribune.
Mi
Ignorance is such bliss to the turkeys
now that It would be folly to put them
wise.
Il la the Air.
Pittsburg Dispatch.
The latest style of extra-super Dread
nought costs S15.0O0.00O. How the cost of
the necessities of life continues to In
creasel
Traditions to Be Treasared.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
President Taft declares that he would
not have the south give upa pingle one of
Its traditions. And the south won't. It
won't even give up Its ancient and re
spected hook worm, not If it can help It
Nearlr Oat -of Reach.
Philadelphia Press.
The poor, downtrodden "ultimate con
sumer" gets the worst of it again. Radium
has been advanced from $2 to $70 a mill
gram, or $2,500,000 at once. Of course, this
must be the result of the Iniquitous tariff
law.
Bryan and the Senatorahlp,
Springfield Republican.
The election In Nebraska for supreme
court judges shows such exceedingly small
republican pluralities less than WOO votes
that Sir. Bryan may conclude next year
he could carry the state and the legis
lature as an avowed candidate for United
States senator.
SECULAR SHOTS AT PULPIT.
Cleveland leader: The world la again
to behold miracles, says a South Carolina
preacher. You're berlnd the times, brothor.
The world la beholding so many of them
already that it's getting used to them.
Baltimore American: Why ministers
leave the pulpit is becoming an interesting
topic The New York multl-milllonalre who
left In his M Idas-bequests $50,000 for needy
preachers of his denomination came pretty
close to hitting the solution of the problem
on the head.
Charleston News and Courier: Cardinal
Gibbons says that woman's suffrage would
be the death blow of domestic life and
happiness. Considering the number of death
blows domestto happiness has received, we
are inclined to believe that it has as many
lives as a cat.
St. Louis Globe-Democrat: A St Louis
clergyman who attacked the city press in
a sensational manner the other day said
that he wished his remarks to be quoted
by the newspapers at which they were
directed. That, however, can alwaya go
without the saying, since such sensational
statements are never made by sensational
preachers for any other purpose than the
one of sensational advertising.
Pittsburg Dispatch: The Baptist mints
ters In northern Ohio have vetoed the plan
of having an evangelist come Into the terrl
toi-y to hold meetings. They will do their
own evangelizing. That is the proper spirit,
If the ministers In any community accom
plish all they might there would be nothing
left for evangelists to do. The presence of
an evangelist Is a charge of Inefficiency on
the part of the local ministerial forces.
PERSONAL AND OTHERWISE.
Reports of the drawing power and prises
of horse shows are not posted conspicuously
on automobile row.
The reported prevalence of appendlcltl
among turkeys affords ample warrant for
the projected surgical operations.
As a sort of apology for the vagaries of
Indian summer It may be said that an oc
casional shower encourages the blooms.
Auto fatalities for ten and a half months
of the year foot up 247. a record that prom
ises to pull railroads off their high perch
A New York woman attempted to tell
a funny story to a friend and laughed her
Jaw out of Joint In the operation. It must
have been an ancient chuckle to let an
amateur off so easily.
In distributing honors for the six "best
sellers" of the year, bookworms should not
exclude from the reckoning "The Life His
tory of Cow Tick," Just Issued by the gov
einment A ticklish subject which the
author scratch! with masterful skill.
During the president's Journey tluoug
bouthern suharas, reference was made to
sazarao cocktails, mint Juleps, champagne
artlllt-ry punch and like mystic confections,
Nothing of the kind appeared, of course.
Merely traditions of aouthern hospitality
put on paper through force of habit by
dreamy reporters.
A bit of ancient hlxtory dug up by the
1st. Louis Republic In connection with "The
Century Club of Newspapera" shows the
uselessness of suppresHlon aa a corrective
measure. The first and only Issue of the
first American nswapaper, "Public Ob
servances," printed In Boston, September
26. 1690, was suppressed by the authorities
because It threatened to "print the names
of all the liars tn Boston." Tha author
ities reasoned that publicity would not
reform Boston in Its infancy. How uttsrly
JhojMleM would be lb task, todai
No End of
Tax Paying...
if you are a land or house owner. But
if you are the owner of a Limited Pay
ment Policy in the Equitable, your
annual premiums will cease at the end
of 10, 15 or 20 years, and you will
have a paid-up asset to the credit of
your estate. There is no "come-back"
in cash to you on taxes paid during
past years; but under an Equitable
Policy a gradually increasing cash
or loan value is accumulating for you
which may be utilized in any period of
financial stringency. Drop us a line
about it.
THE EQUITABLE LIFE
ASSURANCE SOCIETY
Of the United States.
120 Broadway, New York.
Paul Morton, Pres. H. D. Neely, Mgr., Omaha, Neb.
SERMONS BOILED DOWN.
Affection Is never guilty of affectation.
A lust- Is an appetite In the seat of the
will.
Heaven ranks by service and not by
salary.
Our principles are simply our habits of
thinking.
Little Individual kindnesses make the
way for the universal love.
It's only when our virtues are lonesome
that they feel like boasting.
You cannot hide your vices under ad
vertisements of your virtues.
Training a child in orderliness may be
training a man In righteousness.
The people who raise the row In a
church seldom raise the revenue.
If there were enough peace keepers the
peacemakera would not be needed.
We are ready to forgive In our friends
the offenses that have not hurt our corns.
He who caves all his kindness for the
good comes to believe there are none
worthy of it. ,
It takes more than chemistry of soils to
grow a crop and more than theology to
grow a character.
When a man thinks that his reason has
the reins on his passions he Is often mis
taking the tugs for the lines.
Most of us come back some day to the
thorns that Bprlng fro.n the harsh words
and acts of our own sowing. Chicago
Tribune. ,
DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES.
IE
"How would I do?"
"But you are married."
"All husbands are." Houston Post.
"Was It your wife who called you up
this morning?"
No: that was aunt, it was my wiie
who called me down." Baltimore Ameri
can. lte (nervously Krer Margaret erer
there's something has been trembling on
my lips for the lust two monms.
She Yes. so l see. w ny aon i you suave
It off? Princeton Tiger.
Whv." asked the conservative citlsen,
"are modern children so slangy and incon
siderate?"
In some families, renlled Miss cay
enne, "I should say it Is because they fail
to reauze tnai tney ougm io wi a goou
example to' their parents. vv asnington
Post.
"Whet sort of a housekeeper Is she?"
Well, she brass of the way she can
bang the piano, while her husband brags
of how his mother used to cook." Boston
Transcript.
"I must sin vou. dearest." he "said.
"that after we are married you will very
llkelv find me inclined to he arbitrary and
dictatorial In my manner."
'No matter." she repnea, cneerruuy, "i
on't pay the slightest attention to what
you say. rruuyirntiu di.hu.iu,
Examiner What Is meant. Mr. Smoothly,
theologically speaking, by necessity and
free will?.
Candidate Well, where a man gives be-
The Melville Clark Accenting
Solo Apollo"
1 liS
!
rS
Human fingers, at the best, are at times uncertain with the
fingers a note Is missed once In a while sometimes the expression
is rendered wrongly but the "Solo Apollo" player piano is literally
correct in its rendition Infallibly faithful and never misses a note.
However, that woodeny exactness that you've grown accustomed
to in other makes is entirely absent in a "Solo Apollo" a few
steps away you would wager that some inspired exponent of music
were playing, and not a player piano.
"Then, too, one must give the Melville Clark people credit for turn
ing out the FIRST "88 note players" the "Solo Apollo" Is an "88
note player" and you wouldn't have the "lesser note" kind after
hearing THIS make.
"Solo Apollo" player pianos sell at from C00 to $1,100, and the
choicest specimens made are on our floors.
"Every Hospe Piano is Insured1
1513 DOUGLAS STREET, OMAHA, NED.
I7e Sell IQO Kinds
incral Waters
We sell over 100 kinds Imported and
American Mineral Waters, and, as we ob
tain direct from springs or Importer, can
guarantee freshness and genulnenesa.
Boro Llthla Water, bot., 60c; case, $5.00.
Boro Llthla Water, pints., dozen, $1.60;
case 100, $10.00.
We are distributing scents In Omaha
for the celebrated waters from Excelsior
Hprini;3, Mo., and sell at following prices:
Regent, quart bottle, ioc; dozen, $2.25;
cam-, 50 bottles, $8.00.
Sulpho-Sallne, buart bottle, 25c; dozen.
$2.20; case. 60 bottles, $3.00.
Sulpho-Hallne, quart bottle, 25c; dozen,
$1.50.
Soterian, quart bottle, 0c; dozen, $2 00.
SoTerlan, pint bottle, 16c; dozen, $1.50.
Soterlan Ginger Ale. pint bottle, 16c;
dozen, $1.50.
Soteilan Ginger Ale, quart bottle, 25c;
dosen, $-.-o.
Diamond Lttha, half-gallon bottle, 40c;
case, 1 dozen, $4.00.
Crystal Llthla, five-gallon Jugs, each,
$2.00.
Halt Sulphur, five gallon Jugs, each,
12 .25.
Delivery free to any part of Omaha,
Council Bluffs or South Omaha.
SKXBMA1T ft McCOWNELI. SBUC CO,
letu and Dodge.
OWL DBUO CO., 16th and Harney.
caune he belongs to a church himself, that
Is free will. But where he gives because
his wife belongs, that la necessity. Puck.
AN 0L' SAYIN' OF MOTHER'S. .
John D. Wolls.
The older that a body gits
The better, seems t' me.
He ret-kolecls the folks an' Jokes
An' things that used t' be;
Like other night, whilst settln' there
An' rompin' through the years.
An' drlftln' on the back'urds way,
1 swan I heord my mother say:
"Go wash yer neck an' ears!"
It took me back fer forty years.
An' l'a a boy again,
With same dislike fer water that
Was natural to me then;
I seemed f feel my snecrlt rise.
An' feel my boyish tears
A-rollIn' down In same ol' way.
Like when rny mother used f sayt
"Go wash yer neck an' ears!"
Clean neck an' ears you reckolect
Was purl' nigh disgrace
There wa'n't no sensn In washin' 'cept
Perhaps a body's face!
We ut;e4 t' think that mas was mad
To add to boyish kecrs,
An' stand around In boasin' way,
When boys waa tlredest, an' say t
"Go wash yer neck an' ears!"
An' ylt I'll warrant that tonight
You'd like f go f Led
In same ol' room, with locust bloom
A-droppln' overhead
On shingle roof, an' hold yer breath
With all your boyliih fears,
An' hear ol' mother softly creop
I'pstalra an' ask y'; "Gone to slee.pT ,
Didju wash yer neck an' ears?"
Player Piano
plays even
better than
Human
jFingers
