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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 24, 1909)
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V7"here the Great Dowaerer of
TWO MANCTTU PRINCESSES OF THR
ABOUT TUB SAME Ada AS PU TI.
(Copyright. 1305, by Frank O. Carpenter.)
EKING, China. fSpeclal Corre-
P apondence of The Bee.) The
I body of the great empress dow
ager is sun in Peking. It Ilea
In one of the palaces of the
Forbidden City, in a coffin of
cypress wood almoBt a foot thick, bound
with rawhide and covered with lacquer.
It will rest there for several weeks yet,
and will then be carried to Its final home
In the eastern tombs. The preparations
for the funeral are now making. Its cost
will run Into the millions; and the road
to the Imperial cemetery will, figuratively
speaking, be paved with gold.
nieheat Wo inn a im Asia.
The great dowager had luxurious tastes,
and was fond of pomp In all of her do
Inps. She spent money like water, and
used fabulous sums to keep up her pal
aces. During the last year of her life she
had planned a new home at the summer
palace, and had ordered the architects to
draw the designs. The buildings were to
rost 4,000.000 taela, or about ,000,000, and'
the work was to have been begun In 1909.
The plans were made, but, owing to the
dowager's death, they will not be carried
out I am told that her majeaty gave
equally elaborate directions as to her
mausoleum, and that It Is bitr.g con
structed on a magnificent scale.
The great empress dowaprer la said to
have been the richest woman In AB!a.
There Is no queen living who has had
such sums at her command. At the time
of her sixtieth birthday a hint was sent
out to tho various officials that each
should give the old lady a present, and
tnoney rolled In from all parts of China.
Altogether something like $70,000,000 was
sent to Peking.
This was about the time of the Chinese
Japanese war, and some of the money was
sppnt to pay tho expenses - that calami
tous struvKle. The then bad condition of
KA f I. I . . .
.iiiiiv.t hij ! gam to nave oeen par
tially due to the avarice of the old em
press. A the story goes, the government
had set aside $15,000,000 for new warships.
The old dowager said It was a pity to
waste so much money that way, and she
took the naval appropriation and built a
new palace. The officials remonstrated.
They said tha money had been voted for
the navy and must be accounted for.
xiibi ia euy enougn," replied the great
dowager, and she straightwsy had carved
on the gate of her new buildings an In
scription which read: "These are the pal
aces of the navy."
Dwin'i Head Saaeeaer.
Since the empress dowager died I have
heard many stories about her majesty's
champion squeezer, the famous eunuch,
LI Lien Ting. He was for a long time
her body servant, and later, her minister
. of finanoe and collector of bribes. He In
vested her moneys for her In pawnshops,
and In loans at high rates, and at the
same time took such a goodly rake-off for
himself that he Is now said to be worth
tens of millions of dollars.
No one outside of China can appreciate
WAS talking with a Dakotan
th other day. "Speaking of
farms," he said, "we have
some sizeable farms out In
Dakota. Yes, sir, I've seen a
man on one of our big farms
siri o-t in th spring and plow a straight
futrow till fall. Then he turned around
and harvested back."
"Wonderful!" said I.
"On our Dakota farms," he went on, "It's
the usual thing to aend young married
couples out to milk the cows. Their children
brink back the milk." ' v
"Wonderful!" 1 repeated.
"Once," be said. "I saw a Dakcta
farmer's family prostrated with grief. The
women were weeping, the dogs were bark
ing, the children were equalling and the
tears ran down the farmer's cheeks as he
hitched up his twenty-mule team and drove
"Wher was he going V said I.
. "II was going halfway across the farm
to feed th pigs."
"Did he vr get backT" I asked.
"It isn't time for him yet," was the reply.
FtrwProof Paper Needed.
To the editor of a little Main newspaper
there came the other day an Indignant
elderly w.imin, who waved a slip of papvr
in the editorial face.
"Look here!" said she. "What does this
mean a bill for the Citizen to my husband
that's been dead two years T Ye don't expect
his widow to pay debts o' his, contracted
long after he's dead?"
YU say be baa not been getting th
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DOWAGER'S COTTRT THE CHILD is
THE BABY EMPEROR.
the bribery connected with public office.
Every official who came to the palace had
to pay something to this cobbler's son
and even LI Hung Chang was once held
up outside the gates for three days be
cause he would not submit to his extrav
agant demands. I am told that It cost to
pay the palace expenses during the life
of the dowager something like $30,000,000 a
year, and a great deal of this came from
When the treasury grew low the dowager
aent out collectors, who traveled from
official to official over the empire and de
manded gifts. One of these collectors
waa named Kang-Yt. He was sent on a
squeezing tour south, having been ordered
to bring back at least 200,000 ounces of
sliver. When Kang-Yl visited Shanghai
he demanded that the Chinese Merchant
Steamship company, then under the con
trol of Sheng Kung-Pao, should pay the
government $200,000 per year. Sheng com
plained that the business would not stand
It, and compromised at half the sum.
The viceroys of Nanking and Wuchang
were heavily bled by ' Kang-Yl, aa were
also those of Tientsin and Canton. The
squeeslng in the latter place waa probably
aided by a brother of LI Hung Chang,
who was an official there. He was a
frttjiid of the dowager, and he sqeexed so
much that the people nicknamed him "The
Was She a Demon f
One hears all sui ts ,ot stories about the
empresa dowager. All acknowledge her
ability and say Hhe will rank among the
great queens cf all time. There is no
question as to her strength of character.
Some exalt, her to the skies as an angel
of mercy and light, while others say she
waa a demon incarnate, and they com
pare her private life to that of the Rus
sian empress, Catherine the Great. As to
her demoniac character, her detractors
say she poisoned her husband, the Em
peror Hsien Feng, and thereby became
ruler in connection with another empress
whom he married before her. They sus
pect that the death of that empress was
caused by the dowager's machinations
and plots, who then reigned suprome dur
ing the minority of her son, the Emperor
Tung Chleh, who Was a baby when chosen.
When Tung Chleh had reached the age
of 15, at which time he might aspire to
rule Independently, he died of smallpox,
and there are some malicious enough to
say that his mother, the empress dowager,
assisted him on the fairy ride to a far
country. They allege that he had begun
to resist her domination, and that the,
smallpox was really an overdose of opium
pills. They say also that after his death
the suicide of his wife, the empress, who
threw herself Into a well, was aaxlsted by
this same great woman, and that other
crimes of a similar nature may be laid to
Take, for . instance, a story which Is
whltpered among the officials here at
Peking. It relates to Kwang-Su, the late
emperor, and to a favorite concubine of
hia whom the great dowager thought was
Inciting him to rebel against her. She
ordered the eniperor to come before her
paper?" aald the editor after long thought.
"No, ye donderhead!" screamed . the
women, "I tell y he's been dead two
"Strange," mused the editor. "The Post
office department has not notified me of
his failure to receive them. Quite sure you
yourself haven't been enjoying the Inestim
able educational values of a persual of my
That ain't the point." argued the widow.
"You've been sending a noospaper and a
bill to a man that's dead. It's your affair,
"Well." said the editor finally perceiving
that he must be a loser, "In the future,
madam, I will cause an extra copy to be
printed on asbestos, to Insure that your
husband receives his Citizen regularly."
Bishop Stayed, Gambler West,
The bUhop of a southern diocese was
once making a missionary Journey through
Arkansas and Indian Territory, and on his
arrival at Natchez he said to the landlord
of a hotel: "I have been traveling for a
week, day and night, In a mall wagon, and
I want a comfortable room."
"Surry." said the landlord, "but I don't
believe there's a vacant room In Natchez;
thfre's a horse race, a Methodist confer
ence and a political convention In the city,
and evtry house Is full up. Tha only thing
I aan give you Is a shake-down." Then, ob
serving tha bishop's tired face, he added:
' "The best room In my house la rented to
a noted gambler who usually remains out
all night and seldom gets in before break
fast If you will take the risk, you ah all
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and then had hi sweetheart brought In. the emperor captive. Her majesty then de
When the two were knotting Rhe charged dared that he was not fit to rule, and made
them with treason, ar.d said to the em
peror: "I shall now show you how I treat Trait
ora." Khe thereupon Rave a alcrnal and her
executioner! nelsed the concubine and with
ft ailken cord ntranicled her to death before
the eye of her Imperial lover.
Tho power of the great dowager waa
supreme. A word from her could slice oft
a head, nnd her followers knew It. They
trembled In her presence and dared not
resist her. When her majesty lay on her
deathbed soma of the grand councilors
proposed to raise to the throne another
prince than the one she had selected and
to mako Prince Chtng repent. Thereupon
the great dowager gathered her strength
and rose up, saying:
"You officials think you can humbug me
because I am old. Verily, I think the time
for your death has arrived."
Poaslbly aa Angel.
Such la one view of this great ruler'a
character. On the other hand, Miss Carl.
who wrote a book giving her experlencea
In painting the empress dowager's portrait,
says that she was kind and sweet and
good. Mrs. Conger, the wife of our former
minister, speaks of her aa a scholar and
an artist, and there are many who will
tell you that the charges of her being an
assassin are false and malicious. I know
the story about her being a slave girl Is
untrue. She came from one of the best
of the Manchu families. Her father was
Duke Chao, a military man, who was be
headed after she had married Emperor
There Is no doubt but that she was true
to her friends, and that Pu Yl In now on
the throne Is a living evidence of that,
trait of her character. The liuiida story
of how this baby became eniperor la yet
to be told. One of the highest officials
gave me the bonea of the matter aa wa
chatted tosothcr last night. Said he:
"It had its birth In the coup de'etat of
1S3S. Kwang Su, the young emperor, had
entered upon his course as an Imperial
reformer, and had . planned the put the
great empress dowager out of the way.
In company with his advisers, Kang Yu
Weh and others, he had planned to have
her majesty and her most Influential offi
cials executed. For this purpose he com
manded Yuan Shlh Kal, who then had
charge of the only modern army In the
empire, consisting of about 5,000 well drilled
troops, to come to Peking. Aa Yuan kneeled
before him In the palace, the emperor or
dered him to march his army to Tientsin
ar.d slaughter the General Yung Lu, the
great dowager's friend. After that Yuan
was to march on to Peking, surround the
imperial palace and capture the empress
dowager herself. General Yung Lu was
the viceroy of Tientsin, and as such was
eommander-ln-chltf of the army of which
Yuan Shlh Kal was the general. Yuan
bowed low as the emperor gave him these
orders, and then begged that the command
might be put in writing. This the emperor
refused, saying that a verbal order from
htm was good enough, whereupon the Chi
nese general, acceded and left.
a- Tmn si, lh atartpd back to hia
army, which was near Tientsin, he began
to reflect on tha respective ability and
forces of the emperor and empress dow
ager, and decided In favor of the latter.
He went to Oeneral Yung Lu and revealed
tho plot. Yung Lu at once took a special
train and came to Peking. He drove out at
night to the summer palace, where the great
dowager was living,' and before daybreak
she had raised an army of her eunuchs and
servants and sent them to Peking and mads
Told of and
have his room; but If he should come in
there'll be a row, I'll promise you that"
The bishop decided to take the risk.
About 4 o'clock In the morning the gam
bler returned and promptly shook the
bishop by the arm,
"Get out of here, or I'll put you out," he
The bishop, the gentlest of men. raised
himself on one elbow, so that it brought
the muscles of his arm into full relief.
"My friend," he began quietly, "before
you put me out, will you have the kindness
to feel my armT"
Th gambler put his hand on th bishop's
"Stranger," he then said, respectfully,
"you can stay." Youth's Companion.
How Howe4UHee It.
A reporter one asked William Dean
Howella why it waa that his novels did
not sell nearly as well as those of ,
and here th reporter mentioned a half
dozen well known names," said Samuel
Neely of St Louis, at the National hotel
last night in telling this story:
"Mr. Uowells replied: 'A certain quack
stood one afternoon before tue uoui of
his rich mansion when a physician of
great learning and talent passed. The
two men fell Into talk, and the physician,
a plain spoken person, said, rather bit
terly, to th quack:
"'"How comes it that yau, without
education, skill, or the least knowledge
of medicine, are able to live in the style
you dof You keep your town house, your
carriag. your motor, and your country
TIIE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE: OOTOBETt
China Lived and
THRONE WIIERK HER MAJESTY SAT AND RULED
him aend out an edict bejrgiiig her to again
take the throne. Ho n then confimd In a
butldlnir in the middle of a lake l.is do tha
Forbidden city, and he had no more power
to the day of hia death."
How Pa Yl Became Rnineror.
In the meantime, the old ompiotM dow-
ager did not forget her good friends Vuan
SUlh Kal and Yung Lu. Yuan Shin Kal
at once became the most Influential man In
the empire, and he remained such until
the great dowager died. He has since been
disgraced, but he has many friends, and
may again come to the front.
As to General Yung Lu, the dowager
rewarded him by making his daughter em-
press, and his grandson the ruler of China,
There Is a pretty story In connection
with this. According to It
dowager said to Yung Lu:
"I have Just had a vision In which I
have seen your descendants on the Im-
perlal throne, and I think the vision la
pouna " com" '-nun
th brother of the emperor, and the most
likely scion of the Imperial line. Now you
have a daughter of the right age for max-
rlage. We will Join her with Prtnoe Chun,
and the first son shall be Kwang Su's
successor. Yung Lu gladly acceded. The
two were married, and tha baby, Em-
peror Pu Yl, waa the fruit of their union,
Just before the old dowager died she
LATEST PHOTOGRAPH OF
house, while I, allowed to possess some
knowledge, have none of these things and.
Indeed, can little more than pick up a
" The quack laughted good-naturedly.
" "Look here," quid he. "How many
people do you think have passed us since
you asked me that question T"
Well," said the other, "about 100."
" ' "And out of that 100 how many do
you think possess good, common sense?"
Poaslbly one," was the reply.
" "Well," said the quack, "that one
comes to you, and I take care of the
ninety-nine," ' " Washington Herald.
Dr. Hale's Salat. -
Dr. Hila and the late Bishop Huntington
of New York were fast friends. The Utter
has been a Unitarian and his shift caused
The Episcopalians have saints assigned
to the varloua days In the year. When an
Episcopal minister writes a letter on any
day for which there is a aalnt he alwaya
writes the name of the saint at the Uose
of the letter Instead of the date.
Bishop Huntington learned all these
things quickly, and began to practice them
at once. The first time he had occasion
to write to his old friend Dr. Hale after
Joining the church he placed "St Michael's
day" after his signature.
A reply from the doctor came, and after
his name he bad written In a full, round
hand, "Wash day." Christian Register.
Two of Baraasa's Atraetloas.
It la eighteen years since P. T. Barnum,
.on of th best known Americans of the
x rk .. .' !
lit '"' A r - 'J : ' -"'I
wrote the edict carrytng out her part of
the contract with Yung Lu. and thereby
his baby grandson hoa ascended the
How the Dowager Died. ,
The last hours of the great empresa
wore full of terrible pain. According to
etiquette, the doctors dared not touch her
and could not experiment to find out her
disease. I am told they watched her on
their knees and caw her struggle and fight
as death came on. ' The edicts sent out
by her gave but little Idea of her Illness.
Nevertheless, they are pathetic Here la
ono that was published the middle of last
November, about two weeks before her
"From the beginning of autumn
health has been poor. The officials and
governors of every province have been or-
the empress dered to send us physicians, but their pre
scriptions have not availed. Now tha
negative and positive elements In us are
falling. Wa have aliments external and
Internal. ' Our breast ia stopped up, our
stomach rebellious, our back and legs
painful, our appetite falling. Upon mov-
lng our breath falls, and there is coughing
and panting. Besides, we have chills and
fever. Sleep Is far from our eyea, and
the strength of our body Is failllng. Tha
viceroys, governor and general are urged
to send us physicians, and any who sne-
oeed in aiding us will receive special
THBJ GREAT DOWAGER.
of Note and
last century, passed away, but from time
to time pabsing events recall his shrewd,
but peculiar, career. One of these was th
death last week of "Major" Nutt, one of
hi attractions, a person of Intelligence and
good character and remarkable only for his
diminutive statue. Almost on the same day,
relates the Boston Transcript, Joseph Lu
casle, an Albino, succumbed to dropsy at
the General hospital In Kansas City, Mo.
Sixty-one years ago Mr. liarnum heard of
an Albino named Lucaste, living In Holland,
who had married an Albino wife and had
two Albino children. This was unusual, aa
the children of Albinos are usually normal.
He secured the family when Joseph waa
eight years old and his sister a few years
younger. They all had a wealth of silken
white hair, and the enterprising manager
was doubtless satisfied with his venture.
But the boy had ambitions beyond tha
distinction of being a freak and devoted
himself to mastering the violin, which gave
him a good livelihood upon the death of
his father, and be enjoyed tho acquaintance
of most the professional violinists of the
The rhleftaUraLlttIe Joke.
Thurston, the magician, had many Inter
esting experiences during his professional
tour of th glub several years ago. He
went to all sorts of outlandish places and
appeared before rulers of many strange
lands and communities. On one occusloiv
hka manager had arranged that Thurston
should give an exhibition before the ruler
of 'a provlnoe called Panga-Paoga In th
FIJI islands. In th crowd that saw th
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HER MAJESTY IN A GARDEN WITH
Tha edict waa aent out and a new
corps of doctors brought In. They like
wise failed, and other edicts which were
published about three days later stated
that they were degraded and would work
far some time in the future without pay
aB a punishment. '
During her last days her majesty lived
almost entirely upon woman's milk. Sha
had a large corps of wet nurses and went
back to the customs of her babyhood for
nourishment This is a common prescrip
tion for members of the imperial family.
Chats About the Great Dowaaer.
During my stay in Peking I have had
chats with many who knew the great
dowager. I remember a conversation with
one of her ladles-ln-waltlng, a Chinese
girt who speaks excellent English. She
represents the empress as having been a
bluffer and aa knowing how to ,play off
one party or man against another. She
waa dictatorial and made her ladles dress
as an understudy to herself. She would
say along toward evening: ,
"I intend to wear a red costume on the
morrow, and on the day following all the
girls must appear in red."
The next day the order would be for
yellow, or perhaps green, and the court
lady who came In wearing tha wrong
color waa punished.
When In her prima her majesty was
rather fine looking. During her last
days her face was drawn awry from a
stroke of paralysis.' This can be aeen in
some of the photographa whioh. I have
been able to secure in Peking. Her ma
jesty objected to being photographed and
. aha would not permit photographers to
com into the palace. However, one of the
court ladles who had been abroad as teha
daughter of the Chinese minister to Paris
brought in a camera and made some plo
turs. In some way the piatea fell Into
the hands of outside photographers, and
aoon the Ukonessea of her majesty were
sold over Peking. When this waa known
the girl wijo owned the camera was dis
missed and her family disgraced.
Behind Sceace with Dowager.
This woman tells me that the dowager
was fond of pretty things and that she
had great artistic taate. Sha painted
pictures herself and wrota Chinese scrolls
most beautifully. Sha supported a school
for artists and had something like eigh
teen scholars in it who worked for her.
- As to her penmanship, at an audience'
which she gave to Mrs. Conger, Mrs.
Miles and other ladlea when Oeneral Miles
made his trip around the world she pre
sented each of the guests with a scroll of
her own making, saying: '
'Some people charge that I do not write
these scrolls myself, but I will show you
that I do." Thereupon she called for large
pieces of red paper, and with a brush,
which she grasped tightly in her whole
hand, she made some exquisite Chinese
characters. I have seen portfolios con
taining scores of her paintings of flowers.
Some of these are owned by Dr. George
Morrison, the correspondent of tha London
Times in Peking.
He' majesty's quarters In tha palace
exhibition were many of th black and
yellow slaves of the chlaftaln. Ail th
spectators were amazed at th many
Strang manifestations of tho black art
that Thurston . offered, but no trlok ap
pealed -so strongly to the assembled ret
inue and to the chieftain aa that In which
a white duck was made to appear with
a black head and a black duck, after a
moment's manipulation, with the bead of
the whit duck. Th trick had to be re
peated, and then th chieftain engaged
in a long whispered conversation with th
Interpreter. "What la desired?" queried
the obliging trick player. Tha Interpreter
coughed apologetically and then responded:
"Respected sir, our honored sire wishes you
to take two of his slaves and put a yellow
bead on a black man and the black head
on th body of a yellow servitor. Our hon
ored sire thinks It would be very funny."
"Tell his royal highness," Thurston replied,
"that I oould give a yellow man a black
eye, but I would not like to attempt to
make his entire head black." Philadelphia
Whea II1II Gave Cheek to Mon.
On one occasion It Is related that James
J. Hill, master of the Great Northern rail
road called his son James to him and
handed him a check for $1M000. "You have
been a good boy and worked hard," said
the old man.
"How about my brother Louis?" asked
James. "He has been as good as I have
and worked as hard. Have you another
check for him, or shall I spilt this?"
Well James Jupiter Hill gave the grand
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HER MAIDENS AKD THE
contained many works of Chinese art, and
among them were some which were ex
ceedingly valuable. At one of her lunch
eons to the ladles of the diplomatic corps
a Jade bowl was shown. This was two feet
high and nearly three feet In diameter;
it was decorated with grapevines cut In
the Jade. At the same luncheon was ex
hibited another piece of Jade of the shape
of a mountain with trees, houses, men,
animals and bridges carved upon It. It
was five feet high, and more than that
thick. When It is remembered that
piece of Jade as big as one's thumbnail
is worth several dollars, the coat of suob
work can be appreciated.
The great dowager was fond of children.
At one of her luncheon parties Bhe asked
the wife of our Chinese secretary, who acted
as the Interpreter, to bring her little girls
with her. Only one came and the einpreea
dowager carried her off to her own bed
room and allowed here to play with carv
ings of Jade and other precious stones.
Upon leaving the little girl waa given a
Jade doll baby, which she carried home.
Her imperial majesty was fond of fine
dressing. She had aa many gowna as Queen
Elizabeth of England, and all were of tha
most beautiful silks, satins and velvets.
She wore much Jewelry and also wigs and
other hair decorations of high Mane Ira
ladlea Her shoes were a. Manchu style,
each having a big heel in tha oenter of the
foot, which raised the wearer five or sis
Great Dowager aad Modera Reform
During her latter days tha empresa
dowager was the soul of the reform move
ment. She knew but little of the condition
of her people until the Boxer trouble
ocourred, when she was forced to flee to
a tar-off provlnoe. The Chinese had no
opportunity to prepare the way for her, and
she saw for the first time the real poverty
of her people. During that period she evi
dently made up her mind to change thing
If ahe ever got back to Peklo. As soon aa
she returned she advised the foreign office
to that effect. i
Before arriving at the capital she sent
word that If foreigners would Ilk to sea
the return of the court It oould be arranged
and thereupon windows were rented along;
the line of march. The Quarters of our
legation were In a balcony over a silk shop,
and those who saw her majesty telii
ahe was carried by in a yellow Sedan a1lM
and that she waved her hand to our
minister as she passed.
During that trip the great dowager waa
very timid. She was upset by the war and
the new Innovations, and was as near real
fear as she ever waa in her whole eventful
life. A part of th return trip was made on
the railroad, when her majesty took her
first ride on the cars. When th whlstl
of the looomotlv blew she was frightened
and ask what was th matter. She v,Va
told that tha engineer was merely announc
ing a road crossing and that nothing was
wrong. She thereupon told the conductor
that in the future he must send her word
every time before tha whlstl blew, that
ah might not be frightened.
FItANK O. CARPENTER.
Each a Point
est exhibition of aerial soaring and oral,
bombarding the world ha ever witnessed.
He said that James, Jr., waa trying to toll
htm how to dispose of his fortune, waa
trying to get his money away from him,
was ungrateful, dutiful and a good deal
of a slob. Iu the middle of the oration
Jamee, Jr., shut the door behind him. In
cidentally breaking all the glass out of it
HUTs private secretary remained aa aa
audience. When th old man paused for
lack' of breath the secretary insinuated I
'But It's pretty nice to see one brother
think so much of another."
"That's so," said J. J. Hill, heartily,
"James Is a good boy. Make out a new;
check for Louis."
Why th Uuinlale Lost.
A newly appointed Scottish minister, on
his first Sunday of office, had reason to
complain of the poorness of the collection.
"Mon," replied on of the elders, "they
are close, very close; but" confidentially-
"the aul' mecnlster, he put three or four
aaxpeuce Into th plat hlssel', Just to gto
them a start Of course, he took the sax
pence awa' with him afterward."
The new minister tried the same plan,
but the next Sunday he again had to re
port a dismal allu. The total collection
was not only small, but )y was grieved
to find that his own sixpences wer miss
ing. "Y may be a better preacher than the
auld meenlster," exclaimed th elder, "bu'.f
uau ukii in Knowledge o the world.
n n - .M , i- , , . , .
-.. w a.u uvea, in particular, yea nil
don what he did an' glued th aaxpencea
to the plata" London Glob.