Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, October 10, 1909, EDITORIAL, Page 4, Image 13

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

    Tile' Omaha Sunday Beb
rounped by edward rose water.
victor rosewater, editor.
Enter at Omthi poetofflce at second
class matter.
TERMS OP SUBSCRIPTION.
IIIy Hs (without Sunday), ent year.. 14 00
'ii7 urm ana uiiaay, on yar w
DELIVERED BT CARRIER.
Daily lie (lncludln Hunday), per week..lSe
I'aiiy Ree (without Bundly). per weelc.ioc
Evening B (without Sunday), per wek c
Evenln Be (with Sunday), per week.loc
Sunday Bee, one year $20
Saturday Bee. one year 160
Addrrea all complaints of lrreularltle
In delivery to City Circulation Deiartment.
OFFICES
Omaha The Bee Building.
Boulh Omaha Twenty-fourth and N.
Council Biuffa 15 Peott Street.
Lincoln 618 Little Building.
Chicago 164 Marquette Hulldtng
New York-Room 1101-1102 No. M Well
Thirty-third Street.
Washington 725 Fourteenth Street, N. W.
CORRESPONDENCE.
Communication relating to new and edi
torial matter ihotild be addreieed: Omaha
Bee, Editorial Department.
REMITTANCES. -
Remit by draft, express or postal order
payable to The Bee Publishing Company.
Only I-rent stamps received In payment of
mall account. Personal check, except on
Omaha or eastern exchange, not accepted.
STATEMENT OP CIRCULATION.
Blate of Nebraska. Douglas County, !
Oeorge H. Tischuck, treasurer of The
Bee Publishing; Company, being duly
worn, ay that the actual number of
full and complete cnple of The Dally,
Morning, Evening and Sumlay Be printed
during the month of September. 1)04, waa
mm jmiowi;
1 L70 Iff 43,900
i 49,200 17 43,700
S 41,710 II 43,360
4 41,990 If 40,400
8 39,900 20 43,480
43,190 11 43,530
7 41,930 22 43,300
1 43,000 13 44,940
41,990 24 43,030
10 43,300 IS 43.310
11 41,790 2( 40,300
12 40.000 17 43,880
H. 43,140 2S 43,670
14 43,370 29 43,300
IB 43,190 (0 43,340
Total 1,369,390
Returned copies 9,885
Net total 1,368,395
Dally average 41,879
UEORQK B. TZSCHUCK.
Treasurer.
subscribed In my presence and sworn
to before me this SOU) day of Septem
ber lK0. M. P. WALKER,
(Heal.) Notary Public
"abscrlbers leaving the city tem
porarily shoal, hare The Be
mailed to the. Address will be
oksjisTed as eftea as reqaested.
An epidemic of crip at the Iowa state
house la. attributed to tbo opea draft.
Draft, not graft.
In the face of the high price of milk,
the visible duty of the American babe
Is to stick clooo to nature.
It seems that that agitation about
the Icy old pole hag shaken down an
October snowfall as far south as Texas.
Chllden are a natural resource that
should be conserved In the public
schools. Let the grown-ups do the
work.
Ak-Sar-Ben XV has passed into his
tory and has contributed by no means
the least glorious page in the record of
the dynasty.
Did the poet who sings of the "host
of recollections in the old haymow"
ever try to feed a forkful of them to a
hungry cow?
Budapest's scheme of a "telephone
newspaper" is to be tried in America.
Hut who wants to bo waked up with a
cry of "Extra" at his bedside.,
Dr. Cook came west with a bad cold.
After acclimating himself to the Arctic
he could not withstand the rigors of
cne day's changes In Pittsburg.
It goes without saying that Ne
braska's delegates to the Dry Farming
congress, which Is to meet at Billings
next week, should be chosen from dry
towns.
If the "wets" continue to carry Con
necticut towns as they did at this
week's license elections the state may
lose its reputation ' as the land of
steady habits.
Mr. Taft confesses to homesickness
for the Philippines, so they are fur
nishing a room at the White House in
Filipino style, presumably on the prin
ciple that like cures like.
The Oleander is the steamboat
chosen to convey the president down
the Mississippi. Oleander being of
the laurels, it is a mighty appropriate
place for a president to rest.
I know that w cannot have a demo
cratic senate In the next congress. Mr.
Bryan at El Paso.
Then why try to fool people into the
notion that even an overwhelming ma
jority in the next house would give the
country a democratic tariff?
When a woman gets so progressive
that she .will not use her husband's
name, as In the case of members of the
New York legislative league, it is
pretty nearly incumbent upon her also
to refuse to use any of the old man's
money.
The forming of an International cor
poratlon to manufacture and export
the Wright airships in all countries
where Wright patents have been' se
cured, marka the practical recognition
by capital of what a short time ago
waa deemed the height of folly. Money
will fly wherever it thinks it eees
profits.
The space in Mr. Bryan's Commoner
that used to be devoted to a baek-fire
on the late Governor Johnson of Min
nesota is now being used to cut the
ground from under Senator Bailey of
Texas. It will not do for anyone to
loom too big in the democratic firma
ment and expect to hold his standing
la the columns of the Comnoner.
Pageantry and Pageants.
While Omaha la still in the atmos
phere of Ak-S&r-Ben pageants a few
sidelights on the psgeantry features
of the recent Hudson-Fulton celebra
lion in New York City will not be on
interesting. For the most independent
observations and criticisms of thst
great centennial commemoration we
have to look to the New York Inde
pendent, which, in this case, is true
to its name.
The historical parade designed "to
give an impetus to historical research
and to present historic scenes so they
will Impress themselves more clearly
on the minds of the spectators than
could be done by books and pictures,"
and on which the city spent $260,000
and employed 300 men for months in
preparation of the floats, It pro
nounces "a fake. "It was about as in
structive and consistent as a comic
opera, nearly as funny, but not half
so pretty," and "instead of some fairly
correct representations of historic
scenes these were for the most part
groteeque pyramids of papier mache,
coarsely painted and adorned with 111
dlsgulsed men and women, chaffing,
flirting and chewing gum." Pointing
out the defects in detail,' we are in
formed, "no attention was paid to
chronological order, but titles without
floats, floats without titles and floats'
with the wrong titles were all Jumbled
up together," and this chaotic condi
tion was not remedied when the
parade was twice repeated, on Staten
Island and in Brooklyn.
"The carnival parade in the even
lng was less objectionable, we are
assured, "partly because nobody ex
pects accuracy or consistency In myth
and legend, partly because the failure
of the plans for lighting the floats
in part concealed their absurdities
The chief lesson of the week's fes
tivities, according to the Independent,
is the demonstration of the superiority
of water pageantry over land and of
military over civilian. It has only
praise for the naval parade as "far
the best managed, prompt, imposing
and extensive."
The novelty which scored best in
New York was found to be the fireless
fireworks "produced by turning a
large battery of strong searchlights
on a row of pillars of steam and on
the clouds made by smoke bombs
bursting in air." The vast posslblli
ties of this new spectacular art are
said to be undeterminable.
We venture the opinion that the
shortcomings of the Hudson-Fulton
pageant were due chiefly to the fact
that New York is not accustomed to
an annual street show and lacks the
experience in this connection which
cities like Omaha, New Orleans, St.
Louis and Kansas City have acquired.
And still, New York's efforts may af
ford us some hints for improvement
in our own future pageants.
Safeguarding Public Health, v
It Is gratifying to know that a quiet
but. powerful undercurrent of activity
is being maintained by the Committee
of One Hundred on National Health
This movement has no stauncher ad
herent than President Taft. with whose
assent the following brief but pointed
health plank was adopted as a part of
the platform at the last republican na
tional convention:
We commend the efforts designed to
secure greater efficiency In national pub
lic health agencies, and favor such legis
lation as will effect this purpose.
This plank was the subject of de
tailed discussion by the president and
those advising efficient national health
bureaus at a conference Just before he
started on his western trip and the
president assured his visitors that he
was so much in earnest in the matter
that be intended to incorporate his
views on the subject in a special mes'
sage to congress at the next session,
when efforts will be made to enact into
law some measure to give unity and
efficiency to the various parts of our
governmental machinery already In
contact at some point with public
health matters.
Health Is a matter of such public
concern that there can be no political
division on any well directed effort to
improve the conditions of living or to
control disease and safeguard the com
muntty. commonwealth or nation. So
many new problems confront the mei
leal world today that it will welcome
any extension of national aid in pre
venting or combatting the ills
flesh inherits.
that
The Hazard of the Play.
Patients who are advised by phys
icians that the theater is a better tonic
than medicine for tired nerves and
Jaded frame, are prone to retort that
the price of good seats makes the play
house an expensive luxury. This is a
careless reply, given without consider
ing the cost of modern amusement en
terprises or the hazards attending
them. The rewards seem high, to an
outsider, for success in the theatrical
world, but the manager Is never free
from the realization that it is largely
a gamble, and the disasters of the pro
fession are as forbidding as the prises
are alluring.
New York, that spendthrift center of
pleasures, has Just permitted a highly
praiseworthy Italian opera company to
go to the wall, after a valiant struggle
to give the best of music capably and
at a moderate price. Sothern and Mar
lowe, conscientious- players and com
petent managers, nave been ordered by
the court to pay heavy damages to an
author whose play they had to abandon
because it would not draw. The the
atrical world has to do with a fickle
public. In the matter of preparation
each play represents a tremendous out
lay before the first production which
may stamp It a failure, and even then
the manager is not free from the pay-
ment of the author's royalties, as the
conrt hs9 Just decided.
Altogether too often the play Is a
hazard, and he who sits in a comfort
able seat enjoying a good drama or
opera little realises that while be is
being helped to forget the worries of
life manifold perplexities and cares and
expenses are accumulating on the
shoulders of the man who makes the
play possible, on the other aide of the
curtain.
The Teakettle and the Wife.
Ever since man became civilized
enough to demand hot water for a
shave and woman became addicted to
the confidences of cozy tea, the kettle
with a swan-neck spout bas played the
role of leading lady in the melodrama
of domestic bliss. Dickens opened up
one of his most popular stories with a
dissertation on how the teakettle be
gan It. It was the teakettle that gave
the Inspiration for the steam engine.
All these years man has been consider
ing the teakettle as a sort of idyllized
songbird of household comfort, whose
activity was concurrent with the purr
of happiness in the breast of every
faithful wife.
It transpires, however that all is not
happiness that sings. Lulled by the
tactful housewifery behind whose emile
he sought not the shadow, man baa
been suffering his daughters to go in
for athletics and higher mathematics
and other physical and mental calis
thenics remote from acquaintance with
kitchen range and sink. The women
have been too busy with their drudgery
to interfere, or it may be that they have
deliberately let the girls alone in their
pursuits in the hope that the new crops
of husbands would finally get what was
coming to them.
At any rate, more than In the old
fashioned days of "stints" that taught
the girls how to cook and wash and
mend, the modern miss has approached
her future state with a dream, as one
wise wife of experience puts it, of a
dainty kitchen walled in blue and whita
tiles, with neat scrim curtains ind red
geraniums in the windows, and ca
naries singing in golden cages. To one
such dreamer this good housewife said:
"Walt till you discover the pathos of
the teakettle, the sadness of the flat
iron and the tragedy of the mop."
It can readily be seen, when one
stops to consider, how the constant fill
ing and refilling of the teakettle would
tend to inspire yearnings for a change
of duties upon even the most enthusi
astic devotee to her husband's creature
comforts. Reduction of the liftings and
reliftlngs of that kettle to foot-pounds
as an estimate of the prodigious vol
ume of that single item of work, would
rout a man, yet the woman .must keep
on singing her roundelay in unison
with her kettle. And the kettle is only
one of the distracting diversions in the
merry play of keeping house.
Fortunately, there is hope. Dawn Is
at hand. The high schools of the coun
try are to start the kettle on Its inspir
ing way to a higher education which
the universities are to finish. Even so
great an institution as Columbia is
leading in the crusade for the abolition
of domestic drudgery, and by Its school
of household arts is to demonstrate to
the world the ease with which a man
on a small salary may have a home of
contentment without making a slave of
his wife. The holder of the degree of
mistress of household arts 1b to flaunt
her diploma in the face of the grocer
who reports that "eggs is gone up,
the sheepskin is to serve as a solace
against the discovery that the sugar
has run out, and under its magic use
as a wand the broom and the mop and
the coal scuttle will have vanished and
the wall of the teakettle no more will
be heard in the land.
Tragedy of Happy Marriage.
Utterance has at last been given to
philosophy in explanation of that em
barrassing manifestation which has
put a damper on bridal parties from
time immemorial, the sudden out
burst of some member of the fam
ily into bitter weeping. The philoso
phy comes in all seriousness from
Mark Twain, whose views one always
suspects as coating a tidbit of fun, but
in this case Mark is as sentimentally
solemn as he was when he made his
pathetic little comment on reaching
the age of three score and ten.
In his private capacity as Mr
Clemens, Mark Twain had Just given
the hand of his daughter in marriage,
when he was asked point blank by an
Intimate friend, "The marriage truly
pleases you?"
les, was nis answer, ' rully as
much as any marriage could please
me, or perhaps any other father.
There are two or three tragically sol
emn things in this life, and a happy
marriage Is one of them, for the ter
rors of life are all to come. A funeral
is a solemn office, but I go to one with
a spiritual uplift, thankful that the
dead friend has been set free. That
which follows is to me tragic and
awful, the burial. But marriage I
am glad of this marriage, and Mrs.
Clemens would be glad. Yet all the
same it is a tragedy, since it is a happy
marriage, with Its future before it,
loaded to the brim with uncertain
ties." No fun-making in this. The vet
eran humorist had his own happy mar
riage in mind, his own dead wife, with
whom Mr. Clemens was associated in
the gentlest and tenderest and most
devoted intimacy through long periods
of vicissitudes, buffetings, discourage
ments. Together they faced the fu
ture, their vision blinded by the
golden rays of the Joyous present;
they had yet to penetrate the gulfs of
fortunes weathered and lost, the deeps
where favorite children withered and
perished.
"You hear that boy laughing, you
THE OMAIIA SUNDAY BEE: OCTOBER
think he's all fun," bat behind th
perennial boyhood of the Mark Twain
spirit is one of the most ruggad expe
riences, grim with personal tragedies
such as try the soul, and it was forth
from the memories of that experience
that Mr. Clemens evolved the phlloso
phy that nothing in human life is more
tragic than a happy marriage. The
tying of the nuptial knot Is an lncl
dent of the day; within that knot are
bound two lives, interests Individual
with all their issue, and to the wedded
pair the curtain is but Just arisen on
a drama which only those can appre
elate who, have lived through its va
rlous stages as has Mr. Clemens, now
living the epilogue of life's fitful play
The Future of Alaska.
Representatives of Alaskan interests
who had been dreaming of early state
hood for their productive, and no
longer inaccessible country, must have
been disappointed by President Taft's
plain announcement to the assembled
enthusiasts at Seattle that be is op
posed for the present to taking the
first step towards statehood by the
granting of an autonomous form of
territorial government. Mr Taft gives
reasons which will be fairly convincing
to those who have no personal or di
rect concern, and promises, moreover,
to visit Alaska at the next opportunity
and study its possibilities at close
range. Until then, however, he is sat
isfied that the country, because of its
sparse and widely scattered population
cut off from communication and inter
course with one another, is not ready
for a greater degree of self-govern
ment than it now possesses. He would
first have the United States foster the
building of railroads throughout
the Alaska land and the development
of its natural resources through the
agency of a presidential commission
co-operating with the governor and
other existing officials.
The future of Alaska must be
worked out to conform with the needs
of a population dependent on its pecu
liar geographical and climatic condi
tions. After New Mexico and Arizona
shall have been admitted to statehood
Alaska will be the only possession that
can count on eventual transmission
into first a self-governing territory and
then Ultimately co-equal statehood.
Alaska will be settled up and peopled
by emigrants from our own states and
its native population will constitute no
serious barrier. In these respects it
is strikingly different from our other
possessions, Porto Rico, Hawaii and
the Philippines, where the natives
make up the bulk of the inhabitants
and the Americans are regarded as
newcomers, if not as intruders. It is safe
to say, however, that while Alaska
may look to ultimate statehood it can
not expect to achieve the goal - for
years, and possibly decades, to come.
Threat : a Holy War.
Thus far the operations of the Span
ish forces against the Riffs in Morocco
have been in the nature of a punitive
expedition, but so stubborn has been
the resistance that Alfonso has been
compelled to send reinforcements, until
now General Marina, in charge of the
campaign, has at least 50,000 men al
ready in the field, with 15,000 more on
the way. Madrid celebrated too soon a
victory which it interpreted as the end
of the strife, for the indications, so far
as the censored dispatches are permit
ted to show, point to the speedy possi
bilities of a "holy war," with all the
Moors united "in the name of the
prophet" against the Spaniards.
Such a "holy war" would be likely
to involve at once other nations of Eu
rope, whose acute rivalries cannot but
be inflamed by encroachment upon
their Jealously guarded interests in the
zone of such a war's activities. France,
under the Algeclras agreement, has
been keeping peace in Algeria by a
show of force with 75,000 men, all of
whom would be summoned to action if
the threat of a "holy war" were ful
filled, Inasmuch as such a war would
Instantly inflame the Algerians with
its fervor. Germany is suspicious that
Great Britain may have authorized its
North African satellite, Spain, to carry
the punitive campaign beyond Its or
iginal borders until it shall constitute
an invasion from which Great Britain
may obtain an enlarged sphere of In
fluence, and Germany would welcoms
the Opportunity to prove its suspicion
In the meantime, the Spanish opera
tions against the Moors continue un
popular in Spain, where all the ele
ments of unrest are so active that Al
fonBO Is in a state of perplexity how to
control the local situation whon his
home garrisons are being drained for
North Africa. Altogether the affairs of
nations are so thoroughly Involved in
the Moroccan situation that European
embroilment cannot but follow the ex
ecution of the threat of a "holy war."
The parson's episode is as nothing
to the newest stormcloud gathering
over Speaker Cannon. The girls of
Danville have been comparing notes
and find that Uncle Joe assured each
of their fathers on separate occasions
that the tobacco which each father
chewed was his favorite brand. There
proves to be as many "favorite" brands
as there are Danville fathers, and Un
cle Joe will have to devise some new
election day blandishments to over
come the dismay aroused by this dole
ful discovery.
Mr. Foss is meeting with disappoint
ment in his effort to Induce his best
friends to join the democrats In the
Massachusetts campaign. A charac
teristic answer to his appeal is that of
James M. W. Hall, who says: "Should
the next republican congress continue
the good work for tariff reform, cur
rency reform and other vital measures.
for which it has made a good begin-
10, 1909.
nlng, there will be no need of another
party at the next presidential election.
Indeed, there will be no need of even
a democratic party." Mr. Hall's atti
tude is Indicative of the attitude of
Massachusetts republicans, from
among whom the democrats have
sought in vain to form a rallying
cohort.
"Bought for a song" is a careless
old saying that loses its flippancy when
one considers the case of the poet who,
lacking other means, bartered a poem
for a grave. Assurance of one's burial
place Is among the tragic worries of
life; there are even co-operative ar
rangements In these modern days to
guarantee ttat, no matter what else
one may lack, he is sure of his final
mound of earth. Even the most care
less of men have a sentimental concern
for the disposition of that body whlcji
they have pampered when they had
the means, and the poet's trading his
song for a grave is typical of man
kind's disposition to be thrifty for this
one need, if for naught else in life.
The advantage of rising from the
ranks is exemplified in the case of the
head of a leather company absorbed
by the trust. Being told to quit his
$8,000 Job, he produced a contract,
whereupon the trust ordered him to
go to work as a laborer in the shops.
Whereupon ho promptly prove I him
self competent to resume at the fobt
of the ladder where he began, and is
still drawing his $8,000. All of which
goes to show that it sometimes pays
to be able to be useful as well as orna
mental.
Short Call at Long; nan.
Cleveland Leader.
Mars is now only about 30,000,000 miles
away. If it only kept coming we could
talk to 'em soon without a megaphone.
Where Food Fads Lead.
Washington Herald.
What a fierce time the common people
do have in this world, anyway. If they eat
white flour, they will get appendicitis;
they eat corn bread, they will get
pellagra; if they eat beefsteak, they will
get in the poorhouse.
A Long-Felt Want.
Washington Herald.
A Frenchman has invented a system of
making glass so tough that a piece one
tenth of an inch in thickness wilt with
stand heavy blows frora a metal hammer.
This will enable people who live In glass
houses to throw stones without thinking
eriously of the probable consequences.
Keeping- I'p the Face.
New York Tribune,
President Taft announces that he hopes
to
go to Panama during the Christmas
holidays and to Alaska next summer. He
seems to be trying to prove the correct
ness of his recent statement that he Is
only a transient occupant of the White
House."
SERMONS BOILED DOWN.
Only a dead faith can be separated from
living morals.
People who give sunshine never have to
beg sympathy.
Life would leave us all fools but for the
essons of affliction.
Pessimism is usually another name for
habitual Introspection.
No man Is fit for another world who is
not efficient In this one.
A man never improves his character by
posing for a reputation.
There Is a world of difference between
self-reverence and self -adoration.
The sting of a sorrow lasts as long aa
e refuse to be sweetened by It.
He who says he is ready to die tor truth
often means he Is ready to kUl.
Many think that religion Is a matter
of notions or emotions Instead of motives
and motions.
You cannot carry the cup of comfort to
another without being blessed by Its fra-
ranoe yourself.
Simply to be just, considerate and helpful
Is better than to master all the metaphysics
of this and all other worlds. Chicago Tri
bune. SECULAR SHOTS AT THE PULPIT
Chicago Inter Ocean; That Kansas
preacher who resigned to become a street
car conductor so that ' he could earn an
honest living and not be criticised by any
body may be all right on the first proposi
tion, but he has erred gravely on the
second.
Washington Herald: A New Jersey min
ister declined a call at tsoo per year, but
agreed to accept it if the salary were fixed
at I7W. This wilt suggest to many of his
brethren the truth of the Injunction that
we are "fearfully and wonderfully made"
some of us, at least.
St. Louis Republic: The Iowa church
which has taken a contract to make signal
flags for a railroad may seem to be going
a little far Into temporal affairs, but It will
at least get money enough to pay the
preacher's Balary, and without this the
spiritual needs of the congregation could
not be supplied.
Charleston News and Courier: Thomas
Starr King said a very good thing about
the Unlversallsts and the Untarlans, which
appears to be worth while repeating just
now. In view of Mr. Taft's recent hob
nobbing with all sorts of religious people.
Mr. King said that the difference between
the Unlversallsts and Unitarians appeared
to be that the Unlversallsts think Uod Is
too good to damn them, and the Unitar
ians think that they are too good to be
damned by Uod.
PERSONAL AND OTHERWISE.
Then la no frost on
files on pumpkin pies.
the pumpkin, no
Halley's comet Is skipping along at the
rale of .0W,Wju miles a uay which is going
some. '
Calgary, the Manltoban town which rivals
Medicine Hat as a weather-maker, boasts
a population of 30,000, most of them hot and
lively people.
Jaded New Yorkers are up against a
harder task than downing Tammany. They
propose to regulate the pitch and tone of
the muulc of auto horns.
The witching plotorlal maid with arch
ing brow and bearing the sign, "Shut the
Dour," Is about to begin a six months' en
gagement at the old stand.
The fund for a monument to the late
Governor Johnson of Mlryiexuta now
amounts to 5,900. Contributions are limited
to tl and the total to la.OOO.
Mark Twain's daughter has annexed the
man and the name Osslp Qabrllowiuch. If
Huckleberry Finn can be reconciled to th
name other haven't a murmur coming.
A statue typifying Purity 1 to be set up
on a building in the Tenderloin district of
New York City. It will be eighty feet
above grouad and bevgnd the average
ENGAGED?;
Don't buy her a ring that you will be
ashamed of later, just because you can't spare
the ready cash for the kind of ring you would
really like to give her. You don't have to have
the ready cash when you deal
At MANDELBERG'S Your Credit Is Good
and every one of the thousands who have ac
counts at Mandelberg's knows that the credit
prices at Mandelberg's are fully 25co lower than
cash prices elsewhere.
Mandelbeitfs Way is "THE EASY WAY"
Open up a charge account with me and pay
for your diamonds and watches while you wear
them.
All diamonds bought here may be "ex
changed at full value for larger stones at any
later time.
DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES.
She (after a long silence Did I hear any
thing fall?
He (timidly) Why, no.
She (with a yawn) Oh, ercuse me. I
thought you dropped a remark. Baltimore
American.
'Women have rained fame desolte
the
suf-
men!" shouted the shi
sharp-featured
fragette.
Yea, for untold ages,
replied the mere
meek man. Judge.
Her Yea, he used to take me to the the
ater and send me flowers and candy.
Him What did you do to him to make
blm quit ItT ...
Her Oh, I went and married hlral Cleve
land Leader.
"John." she said, "don't you think this
talk about trial marriages is Just horrid?"
"Oh, I dunno."
"Why, you don't believe la them your
self, do your
"Have to. If there's any marriage that
ain't a trial, you lust show me." Philadel
phia Ledger.
Tramp Say, mister, I haven't had a bite
all day.
Dejected angler Same here. Where did
you fish ? Boston Transcript.
"No. I don't know him. Who Is he?"
"He's a leadlnb member of our bar asso
ciation." "Bar association? Legal or convivial?"
Chicago Tribune.
"Brother Ooodsole," asked the Rev. K.
Mowatt Lalghtly, "did you announoe last
Sunday that I would occupy your pulpit
this mornlngr"
"Indeed, f did, Brother Lalghtly."
"Yet look at the smallnesa of the con
50 GOLDEN YEARS
were required to build The Equitable Life Assurance Soci
ety of the United States the strongest life insurance
company in the world. It will
50 Golden
for you to sign an application for an Equitable policy and
to secure immediately the protection of life insurance. A
delay on your part of 50 minutes may result in 50 years of
hardship for some of your loved ones in the event of your
death.
.
The Equitable Life Assurance Society
of the United States
120 Braadway, New Ysrk
PAUL, MORTON. President
H. D. NEELY, Manager
Merchant) Nat. Bank Bldg Omaha, Nebraska
The DURABILITY of
PIANOS
and the permanence of their tone
ever before been obtained, or is possible under any other condi-l
tlons.
This Is due to the Mason & Hamlin system' of manufacture,
which not only carries substantial and enduring construction to lU
limit in every detail, but adds a new and vital principle of construc
tion THE MASON & HAMLIN TENSION RESONATOR.
Catalogue mailed on application Old pianos taken In exchange)
A.. HOSPE CO.
1513 DoujUs Street
I can't account for It" Chi cage
"Did she refuse him?"
"1'ractlcs'ly ; she said she would no!
marry him till he arrived at years of duw
creilon." Life.
The honeymoon had. begun to bump the
usual bumps.
"Oeorge, dear," queried the bride of alt;
months, "are you glad you're married?"
"Pure thing," replied George.
"Why are you KHd?" she asked.
"BecaiiBe," he explained, "It will prevent
me from making any more mlntake of thai
kind for the present." Chicago News.
A CHALLENGE.
John Kendrlck Bangs In Alnelee's. i
Come, Worry, let us walk abroad today ',
Let' take a little run along the way;
I know a sunny patch that leads from
Fear
Up to the lovely fields of Wholesome1
Cheer.
I'll raoe you there I'm feeling fit and
U UI1K.
So.
i. Wo
k'orry, come alongl
We started on our way, I and roV Care;
i set me paoe on tnrougn tne springtime
air,
But ere we'd gone a mile poor Worry
stopped.
Tried hard to catch his breath, and thea
he dropped,
Whilst I went on-
An eaay winner of that Marathon.,
And since that day, when vexed by any
fear, I
When Worry's come again with i vlsaa-e
drear. I
I've challenged htm to loin me In that
race.
And found each time ha could not stand
the pace.
take only
Seconds
Quality surpass anything that baa
gregation.
Tribune.
lcadg