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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 10, 1909)
Tile' Omaha Sunday Beb rounped by edward rose water. victor rosewater, editor. Enter at Omthi poetofflce at second class matter. TERMS OP SUBSCRIPTION. IIIy Hs (without Sunday), ent year.. 14 00 'ii7 urm ana uiiaay, on yar w DELIVERED BT CARRIER. Daily lie (lncludln Hunday), per week..lSe I'aiiy Ree (without Bundly). per weelc.ioc Evening B (without Sunday), per wek c Evenln Be (with Sunday), per week.loc Sunday Bee, one year $20 Saturday Bee. one year 160 Addrrea all complaints of lrreularltle In delivery to City Circulation Deiartment. OFFICES Omaha The Bee Building. Boulh Omaha Twenty-fourth and N. Council Biuffa 15 Peott Street. Lincoln 618 Little Building. Chicago 164 Marquette Hulldtng New York-Room 1101-1102 No. M Well Thirty-third Street. Washington 725 Fourteenth Street, N. W. CORRESPONDENCE. Communication relating to new and edi torial matter ihotild be addreieed: Omaha Bee, Editorial Department. REMITTANCES. - Remit by draft, express or postal order payable to The Bee Publishing Company. Only I-rent stamps received In payment of mall account. Personal check, except on Omaha or eastern exchange, not accepted. STATEMENT OP CIRCULATION. Blate of Nebraska. Douglas County, ! Oeorge H. Tischuck, treasurer of The Bee Publishing; Company, being duly worn, ay that the actual number of full and complete cnple of The Dally, Morning, Evening and Sumlay Be printed during the month of September. 1)04, waa mm jmiowi; 1 L70 Iff 43,900 i 49,200 17 43,700 S 41,710 II 43,360 4 41,990 If 40,400 8 39,900 20 43,480 43,190 11 43,530 7 41,930 22 43,300 1 43,000 13 44,940 41,990 24 43,030 10 43,300 IS 43.310 11 41,790 2( 40,300 12 40.000 17 43,880 H. 43,140 2S 43,670 14 43,370 29 43,300 IB 43,190 (0 43,340 Total 1,369,390 Returned copies 9,885 Net total 1,368,395 Dally average 41,879 UEORQK B. TZSCHUCK. Treasurer. subscribed In my presence and sworn to before me this SOU) day of Septem ber lK0. M. P. WALKER, (Heal.) Notary Public "abscrlbers leaving the city tem porarily shoal, hare The Be mailed to the. Address will be oksjisTed as eftea as reqaested. An epidemic of crip at the Iowa state house la. attributed to tbo opea draft. Draft, not graft. In the face of the high price of milk, the visible duty of the American babe Is to stick clooo to nature. It seems that that agitation about the Icy old pole hag shaken down an October snowfall as far south as Texas. Chllden are a natural resource that should be conserved In the public schools. Let the grown-ups do the work. Ak-Sar-Ben XV has passed into his tory and has contributed by no means the least glorious page in the record of the dynasty. Did the poet who sings of the "host of recollections in the old haymow" ever try to feed a forkful of them to a hungry cow? Budapest's scheme of a "telephone newspaper" is to be tried in America. Hut who wants to bo waked up with a cry of "Extra" at his bedside., Dr. Cook came west with a bad cold. After acclimating himself to the Arctic he could not withstand the rigors of cne day's changes In Pittsburg. It goes without saying that Ne braska's delegates to the Dry Farming congress, which Is to meet at Billings next week, should be chosen from dry towns. If the "wets" continue to carry Con necticut towns as they did at this week's license elections the state may lose its reputation ' as the land of steady habits. Mr. Taft confesses to homesickness for the Philippines, so they are fur nishing a room at the White House in Filipino style, presumably on the prin ciple that like cures like. The Oleander is the steamboat chosen to convey the president down the Mississippi. Oleander being of the laurels, it is a mighty appropriate place for a president to rest. I know that w cannot have a demo cratic senate In the next congress. Mr. Bryan at El Paso. Then why try to fool people into the notion that even an overwhelming ma jority in the next house would give the country a democratic tariff? When a woman gets so progressive that she .will not use her husband's name, as In the case of members of the New York legislative league, it is pretty nearly incumbent upon her also to refuse to use any of the old man's money. The forming of an International cor poratlon to manufacture and export the Wright airships in all countries where Wright patents have been' se cured, marka the practical recognition by capital of what a short time ago waa deemed the height of folly. Money will fly wherever it thinks it eees profits. The space in Mr. Bryan's Commoner that used to be devoted to a baek-fire on the late Governor Johnson of Min nesota is now being used to cut the ground from under Senator Bailey of Texas. It will not do for anyone to loom too big in the democratic firma ment and expect to hold his standing la the columns of the Comnoner. Pageantry and Pageants. While Omaha la still in the atmos phere of Ak-S&r-Ben pageants a few sidelights on the psgeantry features of the recent Hudson-Fulton celebra lion in New York City will not be on interesting. For the most independent observations and criticisms of thst great centennial commemoration we have to look to the New York Inde pendent, which, in this case, is true to its name. The historical parade designed "to give an impetus to historical research and to present historic scenes so they will Impress themselves more clearly on the minds of the spectators than could be done by books and pictures," and on which the city spent $260,000 and employed 300 men for months in preparation of the floats, It pro nounces "a fake. "It was about as in structive and consistent as a comic opera, nearly as funny, but not half so pretty," and "instead of some fairly correct representations of historic scenes these were for the most part groteeque pyramids of papier mache, coarsely painted and adorned with 111 dlsgulsed men and women, chaffing, flirting and chewing gum." Pointing out the defects in detail,' we are in formed, "no attention was paid to chronological order, but titles without floats, floats without titles and floats' with the wrong titles were all Jumbled up together," and this chaotic condi tion was not remedied when the parade was twice repeated, on Staten Island and in Brooklyn. "The carnival parade in the even lng was less objectionable, we are assured, "partly because nobody ex pects accuracy or consistency In myth and legend, partly because the failure of the plans for lighting the floats in part concealed their absurdities The chief lesson of the week's fes tivities, according to the Independent, is the demonstration of the superiority of water pageantry over land and of military over civilian. It has only praise for the naval parade as "far the best managed, prompt, imposing and extensive." The novelty which scored best in New York was found to be the fireless fireworks "produced by turning a large battery of strong searchlights on a row of pillars of steam and on the clouds made by smoke bombs bursting in air." The vast posslblli ties of this new spectacular art are said to be undeterminable. We venture the opinion that the shortcomings of the Hudson-Fulton pageant were due chiefly to the fact that New York is not accustomed to an annual street show and lacks the experience in this connection which cities like Omaha, New Orleans, St. Louis and Kansas City have acquired. And still, New York's efforts may af ford us some hints for improvement in our own future pageants. Safeguarding Public Health, v It Is gratifying to know that a quiet but. powerful undercurrent of activity is being maintained by the Committee of One Hundred on National Health This movement has no stauncher ad herent than President Taft. with whose assent the following brief but pointed health plank was adopted as a part of the platform at the last republican na tional convention: We commend the efforts designed to secure greater efficiency In national pub lic health agencies, and favor such legis lation as will effect this purpose. This plank was the subject of de tailed discussion by the president and those advising efficient national health bureaus at a conference Just before he started on his western trip and the president assured his visitors that he was so much in earnest in the matter that be intended to incorporate his views on the subject in a special mes' sage to congress at the next session, when efforts will be made to enact into law some measure to give unity and efficiency to the various parts of our governmental machinery already In contact at some point with public health matters. Health Is a matter of such public concern that there can be no political division on any well directed effort to improve the conditions of living or to control disease and safeguard the com muntty. commonwealth or nation. So many new problems confront the mei leal world today that it will welcome any extension of national aid in pre venting or combatting the ills flesh inherits. that The Hazard of the Play. Patients who are advised by phys icians that the theater is a better tonic than medicine for tired nerves and Jaded frame, are prone to retort that the price of good seats makes the play house an expensive luxury. This is a careless reply, given without consider ing the cost of modern amusement en terprises or the hazards attending them. The rewards seem high, to an outsider, for success in the theatrical world, but the manager Is never free from the realization that it is largely a gamble, and the disasters of the pro fession are as forbidding as the prises are alluring. New York, that spendthrift center of pleasures, has Just permitted a highly praiseworthy Italian opera company to go to the wall, after a valiant struggle to give the best of music capably and at a moderate price. Sothern and Mar lowe, conscientious- players and com petent managers, nave been ordered by the court to pay heavy damages to an author whose play they had to abandon because it would not draw. The the atrical world has to do with a fickle public. In the matter of preparation each play represents a tremendous out lay before the first production which may stamp It a failure, and even then the manager is not free from the pay- ment of the author's royalties, as the conrt hs9 Just decided. Altogether too often the play Is a hazard, and he who sits in a comfort able seat enjoying a good drama or opera little realises that while be is being helped to forget the worries of life manifold perplexities and cares and expenses are accumulating on the shoulders of the man who makes the play possible, on the other aide of the curtain. The Teakettle and the Wife. Ever since man became civilized enough to demand hot water for a shave and woman became addicted to the confidences of cozy tea, the kettle with a swan-neck spout bas played the role of leading lady in the melodrama of domestic bliss. Dickens opened up one of his most popular stories with a dissertation on how the teakettle be gan It. It was the teakettle that gave the Inspiration for the steam engine. All these years man has been consider ing the teakettle as a sort of idyllized songbird of household comfort, whose activity was concurrent with the purr of happiness in the breast of every faithful wife. It transpires, however that all is not happiness that sings. Lulled by the tactful housewifery behind whose emile he sought not the shadow, man baa been suffering his daughters to go in for athletics and higher mathematics and other physical and mental calis thenics remote from acquaintance with kitchen range and sink. The women have been too busy with their drudgery to interfere, or it may be that they have deliberately let the girls alone in their pursuits in the hope that the new crops of husbands would finally get what was coming to them. At any rate, more than In the old fashioned days of "stints" that taught the girls how to cook and wash and mend, the modern miss has approached her future state with a dream, as one wise wife of experience puts it, of a dainty kitchen walled in blue and whita tiles, with neat scrim curtains ind red geraniums in the windows, and ca naries singing in golden cages. To one such dreamer this good housewife said: "Walt till you discover the pathos of the teakettle, the sadness of the flat iron and the tragedy of the mop." It can readily be seen, when one stops to consider, how the constant fill ing and refilling of the teakettle would tend to inspire yearnings for a change of duties upon even the most enthusi astic devotee to her husband's creature comforts. Reduction of the liftings and reliftlngs of that kettle to foot-pounds as an estimate of the prodigious vol ume of that single item of work, would rout a man, yet the woman .must keep on singing her roundelay in unison with her kettle. And the kettle is only one of the distracting diversions in the merry play of keeping house. Fortunately, there is hope. Dawn Is at hand. The high schools of the coun try are to start the kettle on Its inspir ing way to a higher education which the universities are to finish. Even so great an institution as Columbia is leading in the crusade for the abolition of domestic drudgery, and by Its school of household arts is to demonstrate to the world the ease with which a man on a small salary may have a home of contentment without making a slave of his wife. The holder of the degree of mistress of household arts 1b to flaunt her diploma in the face of the grocer who reports that "eggs is gone up, the sheepskin is to serve as a solace against the discovery that the sugar has run out, and under its magic use as a wand the broom and the mop and the coal scuttle will have vanished and the wall of the teakettle no more will be heard in the land. Tragedy of Happy Marriage. Utterance has at last been given to philosophy in explanation of that em barrassing manifestation which has put a damper on bridal parties from time immemorial, the sudden out burst of some member of the fam ily into bitter weeping. The philoso phy comes in all seriousness from Mark Twain, whose views one always suspects as coating a tidbit of fun, but in this case Mark is as sentimentally solemn as he was when he made his pathetic little comment on reaching the age of three score and ten. In his private capacity as Mr Clemens, Mark Twain had Just given the hand of his daughter in marriage, when he was asked point blank by an Intimate friend, "The marriage truly pleases you?" les, was nis answer, ' rully as much as any marriage could please me, or perhaps any other father. There are two or three tragically sol emn things in this life, and a happy marriage Is one of them, for the ter rors of life are all to come. A funeral is a solemn office, but I go to one with a spiritual uplift, thankful that the dead friend has been set free. That which follows is to me tragic and awful, the burial. But marriage I am glad of this marriage, and Mrs. Clemens would be glad. Yet all the same it is a tragedy, since it is a happy marriage, with Its future before it, loaded to the brim with uncertain ties." No fun-making in this. The vet eran humorist had his own happy mar riage in mind, his own dead wife, with whom Mr. Clemens was associated in the gentlest and tenderest and most devoted intimacy through long periods of vicissitudes, buffetings, discourage ments. Together they faced the fu ture, their vision blinded by the golden rays of the Joyous present; they had yet to penetrate the gulfs of fortunes weathered and lost, the deeps where favorite children withered and perished. "You hear that boy laughing, you THE OMAIIA SUNDAY BEE: OCTOBER think he's all fun," bat behind th perennial boyhood of the Mark Twain spirit is one of the most ruggad expe riences, grim with personal tragedies such as try the soul, and it was forth from the memories of that experience that Mr. Clemens evolved the phlloso phy that nothing in human life is more tragic than a happy marriage. The tying of the nuptial knot Is an lncl dent of the day; within that knot are bound two lives, interests Individual with all their issue, and to the wedded pair the curtain is but Just arisen on a drama which only those can appre elate who, have lived through its va rlous stages as has Mr. Clemens, now living the epilogue of life's fitful play The Future of Alaska. Representatives of Alaskan interests who had been dreaming of early state hood for their productive, and no longer inaccessible country, must have been disappointed by President Taft's plain announcement to the assembled enthusiasts at Seattle that be is op posed for the present to taking the first step towards statehood by the granting of an autonomous form of territorial government. Mr Taft gives reasons which will be fairly convincing to those who have no personal or di rect concern, and promises, moreover, to visit Alaska at the next opportunity and study its possibilities at close range. Until then, however, he is sat isfied that the country, because of its sparse and widely scattered population cut off from communication and inter course with one another, is not ready for a greater degree of self-govern ment than it now possesses. He would first have the United States foster the building of railroads throughout the Alaska land and the development of its natural resources through the agency of a presidential commission co-operating with the governor and other existing officials. The future of Alaska must be worked out to conform with the needs of a population dependent on its pecu liar geographical and climatic condi tions. After New Mexico and Arizona shall have been admitted to statehood Alaska will be the only possession that can count on eventual transmission into first a self-governing territory and then Ultimately co-equal statehood. Alaska will be settled up and peopled by emigrants from our own states and its native population will constitute no serious barrier. In these respects it is strikingly different from our other possessions, Porto Rico, Hawaii and the Philippines, where the natives make up the bulk of the inhabitants and the Americans are regarded as newcomers, if not as intruders. It is safe to say, however, that while Alaska may look to ultimate statehood it can not expect to achieve the goal - for years, and possibly decades, to come. Threat : a Holy War. Thus far the operations of the Span ish forces against the Riffs in Morocco have been in the nature of a punitive expedition, but so stubborn has been the resistance that Alfonso has been compelled to send reinforcements, until now General Marina, in charge of the campaign, has at least 50,000 men al ready in the field, with 15,000 more on the way. Madrid celebrated too soon a victory which it interpreted as the end of the strife, for the indications, so far as the censored dispatches are permit ted to show, point to the speedy possi bilities of a "holy war," with all the Moors united "in the name of the prophet" against the Spaniards. Such a "holy war" would be likely to involve at once other nations of Eu rope, whose acute rivalries cannot but be inflamed by encroachment upon their Jealously guarded interests in the zone of such a war's activities. France, under the Algeclras agreement, has been keeping peace in Algeria by a show of force with 75,000 men, all of whom would be summoned to action if the threat of a "holy war" were ful filled, Inasmuch as such a war would Instantly inflame the Algerians with its fervor. Germany is suspicious that Great Britain may have authorized its North African satellite, Spain, to carry the punitive campaign beyond Its or iginal borders until it shall constitute an invasion from which Great Britain may obtain an enlarged sphere of In fluence, and Germany would welcoms the Opportunity to prove its suspicion In the meantime, the Spanish opera tions against the Moors continue un popular in Spain, where all the ele ments of unrest are so active that Al fonBO Is in a state of perplexity how to control the local situation whon his home garrisons are being drained for North Africa. Altogether the affairs of nations are so thoroughly Involved in the Moroccan situation that European embroilment cannot but follow the ex ecution of the threat of a "holy war." The parson's episode is as nothing to the newest stormcloud gathering over Speaker Cannon. The girls of Danville have been comparing notes and find that Uncle Joe assured each of their fathers on separate occasions that the tobacco which each father chewed was his favorite brand. There proves to be as many "favorite" brands as there are Danville fathers, and Un cle Joe will have to devise some new election day blandishments to over come the dismay aroused by this dole ful discovery. Mr. Foss is meeting with disappoint ment in his effort to Induce his best friends to join the democrats In the Massachusetts campaign. A charac teristic answer to his appeal is that of James M. W. Hall, who says: "Should the next republican congress continue the good work for tariff reform, cur rency reform and other vital measures. for which it has made a good begin- 10, 1909. nlng, there will be no need of another party at the next presidential election. Indeed, there will be no need of even a democratic party." Mr. Hall's atti tude is Indicative of the attitude of Massachusetts republicans, from among whom the democrats have sought in vain to form a rallying cohort. "Bought for a song" is a careless old saying that loses its flippancy when one considers the case of the poet who, lacking other means, bartered a poem for a grave. Assurance of one's burial place Is among the tragic worries of life; there are even co-operative ar rangements In these modern days to guarantee ttat, no matter what else one may lack, he is sure of his final mound of earth. Even the most care less of men have a sentimental concern for the disposition of that body whlcji they have pampered when they had the means, and the poet's trading his song for a grave is typical of man kind's disposition to be thrifty for this one need, if for naught else in life. The advantage of rising from the ranks is exemplified in the case of the head of a leather company absorbed by the trust. Being told to quit his $8,000 Job, he produced a contract, whereupon the trust ordered him to go to work as a laborer in the shops. Whereupon ho promptly prove I him self competent to resume at the fobt of the ladder where he began, and is still drawing his $8,000. All of which goes to show that it sometimes pays to be able to be useful as well as orna mental. Short Call at Long; nan. Cleveland Leader. Mars is now only about 30,000,000 miles away. If it only kept coming we could talk to 'em soon without a megaphone. Where Food Fads Lead. Washington Herald. What a fierce time the common people do have in this world, anyway. If they eat white flour, they will get appendicitis; they eat corn bread, they will get pellagra; if they eat beefsteak, they will get in the poorhouse. A Long-Felt Want. Washington Herald. A Frenchman has invented a system of making glass so tough that a piece one tenth of an inch in thickness wilt with stand heavy blows frora a metal hammer. This will enable people who live In glass houses to throw stones without thinking eriously of the probable consequences. Keeping- I'p the Face. New York Tribune, President Taft announces that he hopes to go to Panama during the Christmas holidays and to Alaska next summer. He seems to be trying to prove the correct ness of his recent statement that he Is only a transient occupant of the White House." SERMONS BOILED DOWN. Only a dead faith can be separated from living morals. People who give sunshine never have to beg sympathy. Life would leave us all fools but for the essons of affliction. Pessimism is usually another name for habitual Introspection. No man Is fit for another world who is not efficient In this one. A man never improves his character by posing for a reputation. There Is a world of difference between self-reverence and self -adoration. The sting of a sorrow lasts as long aa e refuse to be sweetened by It. He who says he is ready to die tor truth often means he Is ready to kUl. Many think that religion Is a matter of notions or emotions Instead of motives and motions. You cannot carry the cup of comfort to another without being blessed by Its fra- ranoe yourself. Simply to be just, considerate and helpful Is better than to master all the metaphysics of this and all other worlds. Chicago Tri bune. SECULAR SHOTS AT THE PULPIT Chicago Inter Ocean; That Kansas preacher who resigned to become a street car conductor so that ' he could earn an honest living and not be criticised by any body may be all right on the first proposi tion, but he has erred gravely on the second. Washington Herald: A New Jersey min ister declined a call at tsoo per year, but agreed to accept it if the salary were fixed at I7W. This wilt suggest to many of his brethren the truth of the Injunction that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made" some of us, at least. St. Louis Republic: The Iowa church which has taken a contract to make signal flags for a railroad may seem to be going a little far Into temporal affairs, but It will at least get money enough to pay the preacher's Balary, and without this the spiritual needs of the congregation could not be supplied. Charleston News and Courier: Thomas Starr King said a very good thing about the Unlversallsts and the Untarlans, which appears to be worth while repeating just now. In view of Mr. Taft's recent hob nobbing with all sorts of religious people. Mr. King said that the difference between the Unlversallsts and Unitarians appeared to be that the Unlversallsts think Uod Is too good to damn them, and the Unitar ians think that they are too good to be damned by Uod. PERSONAL AND OTHERWISE. Then la no frost on files on pumpkin pies. the pumpkin, no Halley's comet Is skipping along at the rale of .0W,Wju miles a uay which is going some. ' Calgary, the Manltoban town which rivals Medicine Hat as a weather-maker, boasts a population of 30,000, most of them hot and lively people. Jaded New Yorkers are up against a harder task than downing Tammany. They propose to regulate the pitch and tone of the muulc of auto horns. The witching plotorlal maid with arch ing brow and bearing the sign, "Shut the Dour," Is about to begin a six months' en gagement at the old stand. The fund for a monument to the late Governor Johnson of Mlryiexuta now amounts to 5,900. Contributions are limited to tl and the total to la.OOO. Mark Twain's daughter has annexed the man and the name Osslp Qabrllowiuch. If Huckleberry Finn can be reconciled to th name other haven't a murmur coming. A statue typifying Purity 1 to be set up on a building in the Tenderloin district of New York City. It will be eighty feet above grouad and bevgnd the average ENGAGED?; Don't buy her a ring that you will be ashamed of later, just because you can't spare the ready cash for the kind of ring you would really like to give her. You don't have to have the ready cash when you deal At MANDELBERG'S Your Credit Is Good and every one of the thousands who have ac counts at Mandelberg's knows that the credit prices at Mandelberg's are fully 25co lower than cash prices elsewhere. Mandelbeitfs Way is "THE EASY WAY" Open up a charge account with me and pay for your diamonds and watches while you wear them. All diamonds bought here may be "ex changed at full value for larger stones at any later time. DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES. She (after a long silence Did I hear any thing fall? He (timidly) Why, no. She (with a yawn) Oh, ercuse me. I thought you dropped a remark. Baltimore American. 'Women have rained fame desolte the suf- men!" shouted the shi sharp-featured fragette. Yea, for untold ages, replied the mere meek man. Judge. Her Yea, he used to take me to the the ater and send me flowers and candy. Him What did you do to him to make blm quit ItT ... Her Oh, I went and married hlral Cleve land Leader. "John." she said, "don't you think this talk about trial marriages is Just horrid?" "Oh, I dunno." "Why, you don't believe la them your self, do your "Have to. If there's any marriage that ain't a trial, you lust show me." Philadel phia Ledger. Tramp Say, mister, I haven't had a bite all day. Dejected angler Same here. Where did you fish ? Boston Transcript. "No. I don't know him. Who Is he?" "He's a leadlnb member of our bar asso ciation." "Bar association? Legal or convivial?" Chicago Tribune. "Brother Ooodsole," asked the Rev. K. Mowatt Lalghtly, "did you announoe last Sunday that I would occupy your pulpit this mornlngr" "Indeed, f did, Brother Lalghtly." "Yet look at the smallnesa of the con 50 GOLDEN YEARS were required to build The Equitable Life Assurance Soci ety of the United States the strongest life insurance company in the world. It will 50 Golden for you to sign an application for an Equitable policy and to secure immediately the protection of life insurance. A delay on your part of 50 minutes may result in 50 years of hardship for some of your loved ones in the event of your death. . The Equitable Life Assurance Society of the United States 120 Braadway, New Ysrk PAUL, MORTON. President H. D. NEELY, Manager Merchant) Nat. Bank Bldg Omaha, Nebraska The DURABILITY of PIANOS and the permanence of their tone ever before been obtained, or is possible under any other condi-l tlons. This Is due to the Mason & Hamlin system' of manufacture, which not only carries substantial and enduring construction to lU limit in every detail, but adds a new and vital principle of construc tion THE MASON & HAMLIN TENSION RESONATOR. Catalogue mailed on application Old pianos taken In exchange) A.. HOSPE CO. 1513 DoujUs Street I can't account for It" Chi cage "Did she refuse him?" "1'ractlcs'ly ; she said she would no! marry him till he arrived at years of duw creilon." Life. The honeymoon had. begun to bump the usual bumps. "Oeorge, dear," queried the bride of alt; months, "are you glad you're married?" "Pure thing," replied George. "Why are you KHd?" she asked. "BecaiiBe," he explained, "It will prevent me from making any more mlntake of thai kind for the present." Chicago News. A CHALLENGE. John Kendrlck Bangs In Alnelee's. i Come, Worry, let us walk abroad today ', Let' take a little run along the way; I know a sunny patch that leads from Fear Up to the lovely fields of Wholesome1 Cheer. I'll raoe you there I'm feeling fit and U UI1K. So. i. Wo k'orry, come alongl We started on our way, I and roV Care; i set me paoe on tnrougn tne springtime air, But ere we'd gone a mile poor Worry stopped. Tried hard to catch his breath, and thea he dropped, Whilst I went on- An eaay winner of that Marathon., And since that day, when vexed by any fear, I When Worry's come again with i vlsaa-e drear. I I've challenged htm to loin me In that race. And found each time ha could not stand the pace. take only Seconds Quality surpass anything that baa gregation. Tribune. lcadg