THE BEE: OMAHA. THURSDAY OCTOBER 7, 1909.
The umaha Daily Bee.
FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSEVaTEH.
VICTOK ROSE WATER, EDITOR.
Kntered at Omaha postofflce as second
class matter.
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- OFFICES
Omaha Tha B'-e Building.
South Omaha Twenty-fourth and N.
Council Blnffs-15 Scott Street.
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New York-Rooms 1101-UOe No. 4 Weal
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Washington 72& Fourteenth Ftreet, N. W.
CORRESPONDENCE.
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torial matter ahould be addreaaed: Omaha
Bee, Editorial Department.
REMITTANCES.
Remit by draft, express or poatal order
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Only 2-rent' stamps received In payment of
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STATEMENT OP CIRCULATION,
tstate of Nebraska, Pougias County, ss.:
Oeorite n. TsHchuok. treasurer of The
Bee Publishing Company, being duly
worn, aaya that the actual number of
full and complete coplea of The irany
Morning. Evening and Sunday Be printed
during the month 01 Be
aa follow
ptember, 196, waa
1 4 1,970 1 48,900
2 43,900 17 49,700
2 41,710 18 42,960
4...., 41,990 - 1 40,400
6 33,900 10 43,480
......49,190 '" s 31 43,880
7 . 41,930 1 22...; 42,360
8 43,000 28 44,340
9 41,690 24 43,030
10 49,300 25 42,810
11 41,790 2 40,300
II ,40,000 27 43,880
18 43,140 28 42,870
14 -. 43,270 29 42,200
15. ....... i .43,190 10. 42,340
Total
Relumed coplea
Currency Legislation,
The promise of speedy enactment of
a currency bill, to be presented under
the advisement of the Monetary com
mission, at the forthcoming session of
congreeg (b not borne out by the ad
rices of financial Interests close to the
situation. The recent mention by Pres
ident Taft cf the probable recom
mendation of a central bank does not
necessarily mean, In the view of eo
conspicuous a financier as the head of
the National City Bank, that any Imme
diate attempt at legislation Is to be
made. Instead, It Is believed that
while the commission will eventually
favor some form of central bank, the
subject la bo large and the ramifica
tions are so extensive, that 'consider
able time will be required for the di
versity of opinions resultant upon the
commission's report to crystallize Into
congressional action. ' A
Plans for currency reform are sure
to be the most Important subject mat
ter taken up at the coming session, but
after the commission shall have made
Its report the whole question may have
to enter upon a campaign of education.
So vital a matter is not to be set
tled hastily. Congress will either get
the problem in shape for action at Us
subsequent short session, or else let It
go before the people as a basis of cam
paign ,-for the ensuing congressional
election.
.1,286,380
9,888
Net total 1,266,398
Dally average 41,679
GKORGE B. TZSCIIL'CK.
Treasurer.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn
to before me this joih dav of Septem
ber, 190. M. P. WALKER.
(Seal.) Notary public.
abarrtbera leaving- the Pity tem
porarily ahould hare The Bee
mailed ta them. Address will be
changed aa often aa reqneated.
With Tammany declaring for purity
of the ballot, the tiger's stripes become
a beautiful blush.
The man at the helm, says the pres
ident, must pluy the game. Sometimes
It s a waiting game.
Chicago society leaders are estab
lishing an anti-gambling gulf which
will suffer no bridge.
Hy good fortune Miss Pankhurst, the
hungry suffragette, will reach America
In the height of the, pancake season.
Another of Mayor "Jim's" vetoes
has been overridden by the council,
but no little" thing like that will Jar
"Jim."
The Congo rubber monopoly, like
the famous cassowary, found the
truth-telling missionary a little hard
to digest.
Of course, the democratic World-
Hernld will vouch for the staunch re
publicanism of the Lincoln Star. And
vice versa.
The regular army is Just convinced
that it Is too hardy a playfellow for
the National guard. The militiamen
were cognizant of It before.
Thanks to the canning possibilities,
America Is now feasting Londoners
with corn on the cob. Another tri
umph for Yankee kernels.
Uooth Tarkington may fulfill his
threat to write no more books, but
there are gentlemen of Indiana who
give Ade to the falling crop.
This week witnesses the enforce
ment of the tonnage tax provisions of
the new tariff law without any commo
tion of the shipping Interests.
The Grand Trunk railroad. In seek
ing a tidewater terminal at Provl
Uenre, Is flying in the face of the New
Haven a monopoly and proving its
faith In Providence.
An Omaha boy has been made pres
ident of the senior class of the State
university.. It is pleasing to know that
Omaha Is still occasionally recognized
M part of Nebraska.
Ths up-to-date bachelor, with
jewel for a button on bis new-fangled
dinner coat, Is not half so proud as the
old-fashioned husband with his jewel
of a wife at his side.
As long as , the World-Herald got
that half of the pie which was re
served for a democratic paper, why
should it not justify the freezing out
of all the other democratic dallies?
"Beware of strange friends and the
drink habit." This Rounds like a rule
of life In the field of honest endeavor,
yet it was uttered by a notorious ex
pert safe blower when caught in the
toils.
Austria-Hungary, which rejoiced
over the acquisition of 20,000 square
tulles' of territory a year ago, In th
annexation of Bosnia and Herzegovina
now finds th cost in' sober cash to be
1168.000,000. Rattier a staggerer of
a "morning-after" headache.
It turns out that the disclosure of
Rodin's design of his statu of Victor
Hugo proved to be an unveiling with
a vengeance. If the Parisians gasped
as reported, the form of the great au
thor roust have been exposed more
glaringly unclothed than any of the
naked (acts of which te wrota
loned fancies the picture of his mothar
with hair simply parted and flowing
in natural waves from her pure, clear
forehead.
Old-Age Pension!.
Pensioning the aged Is a modern
form of support with which Europeans
are experimenting as a means of avoid
ing In some measure the unpopular
alternative of "over the hills to the
poorhouse." The system has been In
force long enough In Great Britain for
the chancellor of the exchequer to re
port to Parliament some observations
upon Its progress. The beneficiaries of
the act show a proportion of 11 to each
1,000 of population In England and
Wales, 15 to 1,000 in Scotland and 42
per 1,000 in Ireland. In Ireland It Is
evident that poverty and longevity
must go hand in hand, for no one un
der 70 years of age Is admitted to the
benefit of the act. The total payments
from January 1 to September 1 were
nearly $27,000,000, and It is apparent
that the original estimate of what the
system would cost the government an
nually Is too low by nearly $11,000,-
000. But even the original opponents
now admit that It already Is saving
nearly 700,000 beneficiaries from real
want, if not from the almshouse.
Less encouraging results are re
ported from France, where the old age
system Is shown to have cultivated a
species of unworthy graft, much of
the $16,000,000 annual expenditure to
the 575,000 participants having been
found to go to healthy "incurables" or
to "indigent" persons in comfortable
circumstances or whose children could
amply afford .to support them.
Among lesser peoples, New Zealand-
ers have for some years paid $2.50 a
week to each old person properly qual
ified, and close scrutiny of each case
has kept the impostures to a small
ratio.
Germany has done, perhaps, better
than either England or France In Its
efforts to safeguard the future of Its
workingmen by a species of insurance
that shall stand between the worker
and destitution in old age, illness or
accident. This German model Is the
mutual form of state aid, which has
been often advocated in this country.
Of the two plans for amelioration
and relief, a form of industrial insur
ance seems more worthy of a rugged
people than does a pension system
which the participants have not aided
In upbuilding; but In a period when
the chivalrous sentiment prevails more
and more that the strong shall carry
the weak, the briefs presented by advo
cates of old-age pensions become stead
ily more emphatic and more numerous.
Sumptuary Laws in the Choir.
The Pled Piper of Hamelln has been
outdone by the rector of a Fifth ave
nue church, for the piper had to lead
his rodents a weary march, whereas
the rector bad but to lift a warning
finger and the rats vanished as by
magic from the choir loft.
Rats in all the shades of red, golden,
black or brown each head yielded up
its wondrous nest at the rector's stern
beheat. Only a general of the immortal
name of Grant could have achieved
such a victory, and that was the rec
tor's first qualification for the crusade.
And now in the choir loft of the
Church of the Ascension there sings a
host of women who, bereft of every
form of rat and puff and artificial
hair, strike never a false note In mu
sic or in coiffure, and the men are
flocking to the church to see how
strange, and yet how nice, they look.
For, being put on her own resources,
each Individual songstress has determ
ined to demonstrate that. In her case
at least, a woman's pwnthalr Is her
crown of glory, and Is succeeding.
Mere man has ever bad a personal
Interest in woman's style of halrdress
ing; Indeed, the presumption Is that
she arranges her tresses to please her
lord. Lovers from time Immemorial
have dwelt la poetical words on the In
spiration of their sweetheart's tresses.
Even so practical a bard as Bayard
Taylor sang:
And the dark wastes of thy hair
My struggling munhood drown.
But the poet and the lover and the
man have Simply tolerated, not adored,
the supplementary service of puff and
rat. And now that the pulpit has had
the courage to begin an effective cru
sade against these adventitious arti
fices to nature's Indigenous gift to
woman, there is hope that once more
the gentler sex may find in sweet sim
plicity of hair arrangement sufficient
hlrsulte charm for the sex which
The Hunger for Land.
The average man covets every
sightly vacant lot, dreams of living the
independent life of a farmer and has a
burning desire to join In every land
rush when government registration is
announced. Land hunger has been an
American heritage from the days of
earlj settlement, and the homestead
system has fostered it until now that
system no longer Is In a position to
meet the popular demand. -Recent ap
plications for public land In the open
ing of. one of the few remaining tracts
mark the near end of the easy possi
bilities. Henceforth new-comers may
not acquire a competencey by merely
scratching the surface of virgin soil;
they must delve and Irrigate. The
nation has about run out of Its supply
of soil that needs only to be over
turned to yield rich fruition, and in
stead must furnish to applicants arid
wastes which yet, under the applica
tion of irrigation, will bring forth fruit
abundantly.
It 1b in the administration of this
desert country that the reclamation
service of the government has Its op
portunity to appease the land hunger.
Irrigated desert land will be the cry
of the dissatisfied men from the cities.
When this supply is exhausted, the
government will have to demonstrate
more closely the value of Intensive
farming. Discontented men all nations
have ever with them, but the abllityof
our government to satisfy the land
hunger has been one of the potent fac
tors in keeping discontent a minor
phase of American life.
Ak-Sar-Ben Hospitality.
Omaha's reputation for hospitality
has Btood the test time and again, but
never does It stand out so strikingly
as during the annual Ak-Sar-Ben
festivities.
Ak-Sar-Ben Is distinctively a social
instltuton and its avowed objects are
to cultivate friendly relations with our
neighbors which go to help along so
cial and commercial intercourse.
While Ak-Sar-Ben is organized and
conducted by Omaha men, business
and professional, who not only do all
the work but also foot the bills, the
doors constantly swing open to the
straager within our gates. The costly
electrical Illuminations, the beautiful
street pageants and parades, are all
freely within the reach of every one
who chooses to take advantage of
them, and the carnival and court balls
are easily accessible at merely nominal
charge.
Ak-Sar-Ben's Invitation has gone
forth broadcast. His hospitality is
wide enough to 'embrace visiting
guests without number. No one has
ever been heard of going away, after
attending Ak-Sar-Ben's court, without
singing bis praises.
A Remarkable Police Record.
We do not believe there is another
city in the country, which has gone
through a turbulent street car strike
lasting more than ten days, with a po
lice record as good as that of Omaha's,
even with a police department twice
our size.
Now that it is all over, a look back
ward discloses the fact that despite
ah provocation not a fatality oc
curred, and the total of lawless out
breaks is unusually small. This is
due, of course, In a large part to the
orderly character of thev working peo
ple of Omaha, and the self-control of
the strikers, but also in part to the
watchfulness and efficiency of the po
lice authbrlties, constantly alert to nip
trouble in the bud. While the police
are being occasionally criticised for
dispersing night gatherings of strike
sympathizers, presumably held on va
cant lots, but really In the streets, it
must be conceded by all that the pre
vention of disorder "fend possible riot,
is far preferable to wholesale arrests
after the damage is done.
Omaha has the smallest police force
of any city of its size In the country,
only 'a fraction In numbers of many
cities of greater population and area,
and while the police officers did no
more than their duty, they should
have words of appreciation for doing
their full duty under such trying circumstances.
the scene. It is regrettable that the
latter years of Rev. Fogelstrom's life
should have been marred by a mental
ailment In all probability brought
about by the tremendous activity of
his earlier period, but-his work stands
to his credit, and to the credit of the
Swedish-American people whom he
represented.
Mr. Foss, whom the Massachusetts
democrats have nominated for lieuten
ant governor, has fluctuated between
political parties on his pet plea for a
reciprocity deal with Canada that
would favor his large personal manu
facturing Interests. Pn the strength
of democracy's suggestion that It may
run him for governor next time if ha
makes a good showing in the coming
election, Mr. Foss has rolled his fat
barrel Into the Vahey camp, and It will
be' out of Mr. Foss' faucet that the
democratic campaign fund flows. The
s's In Mr. Foss' name might very prop
erly be dollar marks.
The divinity department of the Uni
versity of Chicago condemns the Old
Testament as a poor moral guide In
the light of present knowledge. It
finds the historic prophets a lot of old
fogies and the wisdom of Moses and
philosophy of Solomon out of date.
The best that Joshua could do was to
make the sun stand still. How amazed
he would be to come back to earth and
see the divinity students setting the
Chicago river on fire.
Some of the same democratic organs
which read Judge Dean out of the
party when he accepted a supreme
bench appointment from a republican
governor are now insisting that he
square himself with his party by
recording his vote in favor of the dem
ocratic fake nonpartisan Judiciary law.
Party regularity, then, must be as Im
portant on the democratlo side of the
fence as it is on the republican.
Mr. Bryan's Commoner insists that
plank in the democratic state platform
admonishing democrats not to vote
for democratic candidates "merely be
cause they' are democrats" must be
vindicated even if every nonpartisan
democrat has to vote the straight dem
ocratic ticket to do it.
A lot of good people with mining
stock In their pockets have become
millionaires over night, only to wake
up the next morning. Of course, we
trust that nothing like this will happen
to those Omaha folks who are just now
walking on gold-lined clouds.
The labor leaders who are trying to
delude themselves by reiterating that
the street car strike is still on shpuld
wake up. The best thing for them to
-do now is to face the music and call
the strike off, so as to have the record
show the true situation.
By the marriage of his daughter
Mark Twain has acquired a son-in-law
burdened with the name Osslp Gabril
owitsch. If Mark doesn't have a lot
of fun with that name It will be a sure
sign that he has reached the age of deterioration.
1 fondly treasures among his old-fash-
Here are two more extracts from
Mr. Hitchcock's World-Herald that
seem to Indicate some crossed wires
in the sanctum of our amiable demo
cratic contemporary:
Tlila la a funclioii of the knights of Ak-Sar-Den,"
said Secretary Penfold. "Why,
I have been cussed bt-cau.se the World
Herald was given three representatives
and the other papers but two. The fact 1b
that Mr. Hitchcock was not invited aa a
representative of the World-Herald, but vn
account of the assistance he gave us In
Washington. He did everything he could
to aid Mr. Pickens and myself when we
were trying to get the 'president to come
here." World-Herald, September 1G.
We know that the little group of distin
guished and seml-dlatlngulahed gentlemen
who entertained President Taft In Omaha
forgot to Invite the governor to be present
and partake of the toothsome twenty-dollar
viands. We with they hadn't forgotten It.
If e had been consulted they wouldn't
have forgotten It. World-Herald, October 6.
Get together.
The death of Rev. E. A. Fogelstrom
deserves at least passing tribute to the
memory of a man who leaves Omaha
a monument to his Indefatigable work
In that open door for the unfortunate
sick known as the Immanuel hospital.
Rev.' Fogelstrom founded and for
years successfully conducted this noble
institution under Swedish auspices,
yet wholly devoted to a public cause,
and It will continue Its beneficent min
istrations long after his passing from
Those who hold to the new philoso
phy that "a child Is a subdivision of
mortal thought" can never have heard
a child's sudden burst of confidence
put a whole party of adults off the
main track.
It Is hardly to be expected that the
street car strike could be pulled oft
without some political dead ducks try
ing to utilize the occasion to resurrect
themselves by post mortem pyrotechnics.
There is vet time to dlsaDDolnt some
of our friends in Lincoln by pulling up
the attendance at the Ak-Sar-Ben car
nival to something like what It would
have been without our late strike
troubles.
Mow la Your Igloo T
Boston Herald.
One of the things that the polar con
troversy has accomplished is the addition
of "Igloo" to the popular vocabulary,
though not more than half the people you
meet can tell Juat what It means. Borne
think It food and othera a fire.
Other (alia Coming;.
New York Tribune.
Having promised to ask congress for
IIO.OJO.OOO to help the Irrigatlonlsts, the
president will find the deep waterways
boomers expecting him to task at leaBt
twice that sum for them, an expectation
they will have ample opportunity to make
known to him while he sails down the
Mississippi aa their guest.
Another Alarmist Ureaka Oat.
Pittsburg iJlspatch.
A ministerial astronomer at present lo
cated In New Mexico makes the prediction
that the earth Is In danger of being de
stroyed by a comet. The general public
will be wise not to worry too much. It In
well to remember trat the, earth has been
soaring through auace a great muny thou
sands of years, that It has never yet
strayed from its orbit nor met with any
serious accident.
Baals of a Heal Debate,
New York Sun.
Mr. Byran, refusing to dlscuns the tar
iff with Joe Bailey on a public platform,
says:
"A debate might be pleasing to the
participants and entertaining to the audi
ence, but I think that the subject which
I am endeavoring to present Is worthy of
calm and serious consideration."
We can't conceive of the audience being
entertained unless the disputants put on
the gloves.
Little Hhody'a !"! Kmlnenre.
Springfield Republican.
No one would soy offhand that the state
In the union which ylelda the hiahest
average of corn per acre la Rhode Island,
but such ta the fact, according to the
statistics of the Department of Agriculture.
But the reason la that the state la so small.
It was necessary to plant only 10.100 acres
of corn In 1D0. producing a crop valued at
lasS&uo, to beat the entire country. Statis
tics tell queer stories and are often the
most diabolical liars unless they are pro
perly explained
Counting the Cash
faded Hew Tors figures ea the
Coat and the metnrna of the
Big Kadsoa-rulton Celebration.
New York pulled off a aeries of great
shows on land and water last week. No
doubt about that. What Buffalo Bill re
marked on seeing St. Peter's. Home,
slight altered, fitly describee the cele
bration as a whole, "It was a Jim-dandy
corker." New York believes It was the
best ever, and may be pardoned for feeling
a bit cheaty. Of course, the reason whv
the city put up $2,000,000 for the show waa
to bestow appropriate honor on the dis
coverer and the Inventor whese goo1 fortune
and fame enriched the generations of to
day and leaves a few openings for the
children cf tomorrow. It was also felt that
a proper performance might 'ring other
visitors than the commuters to the city,
who would see things and pay the price.
But the commercial aspect of the festivities
was put under the lid and out of sight for
the time being. The lid la off now and the
whole population, or so much of it as
touched the celebrating multitude aro
counting the cash and the newspapers
feature the result.
Conservative estimates Indicate that there
were 1,000.000 persona residing at distant
points who were In the city all of" the
week. This Is shown by the hotel registers
and the Increase In boarding-house busi
ness. On each Individual day of the cele.
bratlon there were another million persona
who came to the city from nearby places.
The aubway, which was constructed to
carry a maximum of 400.000 passengers
dally, carried more than 1,000,000. The same
figures applied also to the ..elevated rail
road, and at the end of the week the two
systems had carried upward of 15.000,000
persons at 5 cents each. Taking the million
visitors as approximately correct, and their
average expense at $25 each, exclusive of
railroad fare, the total foots up $",000,000.
There Is little basis for estimating just
where this money has gone, or what par
ticular Interests have definitely participated
In It. The hotels may, of course, be con
sidered among the leading beneficiaries,
and the restaurants, and particularly the
quick lunch rooms, have also been well
In the front rank. Tho boarding houses
and those who took advantage of the
situation to rent furnished rooms have
likewise, as an aggregate of small Items,
received large sums. The department
stores have done an active and probably
profitable business In the transient line,
though, to some extent, at the expense of
their regular customers. The theaters also
have been full to overflowing, but In this
Instance -their Improvement has merely
represented the Increase above the average
volume of attendance, which at this season
In New York Is usually highly satisfactory.
Bankers In the department store, hotel
and reataurant districts expressed surprise
over the normal state of their deposits and
caah balances during the last week. They
argued after the close of business on Sat
urday that the falling off In many lines
of business represented by their deposits,
caused largely by decreased activity, Just
about balanced the extra cash business
brought by the Hudson-Fulton celebration.
The large downtown banks report an
unusual call for money and little Increase
In deposits. An officer of the Irving Na
tional Exchange bank, which Is In the
Ik art of the produce district at West Broad
way and Chambers street, said:
"During a celebration of the magnitude
of the one now In progress here collections
all along the line are naturally slow, and
so far the business of the bank has shown
no material change. Next week may tell
a different tale. But just now our custo
mers are using considerable money and the
volume of this trade during the laat two
weeks cannot be judged at present.
"Another thing," he continued, "the local
banks have cashed much paper checks,
certified and uncertified, postofflce money
orders, etc. Really I believe If the cash
situation could be Judged accurately very
little more actual money would be found
In New York today than was hers two
weeks ago."
Two facts were made very evident by he
celebration. v
First, the horse vehicle is gone from the
life of the city, as few were in evidence,
either day or night, aa compared with the
auto-propelled machines.
There were miles upon miles of autos
In lines upon avenues and streets, and hers
and there sandwiched in were a few car
riages, and even the finest horses and the
most expensive victorias looked antiquated
back numbers when brought side by Bide
with the lateBt stqles of luxurious and com
pletely equipped automobiles.
The second fact proved during this cele
bration Is that Fifth avenue has taken
away from Broadway the crowds of visitors
and the passing throngs of the city.
True, Broadway each night was well filled
with people probably held more people
than It ever held before but Fifth avenue,
night after night and day after day, has
had twice the number of people, riding and
walking, as had Broadway,
The moving tides of the city have been
turned into Fifth avenue from Twenty
third stieet northward, and it is easily to
be seen that from Washington Square to
Central park, Fifth avenue Is to become
the leading business street of the city.
Broadway will now have to yield to the
avenue the pre-eminence as the great street
of the city, but will ever retain its position
as one of the leading thoroughfares owing
to Its location upon the Island.
PERSONAL NOTES.
Nevertheless, a fat coal pile is the most
comforting fixture for an igloo at this
seabon of the year.
Charles E. Magoon of Nebraska, former
provisional governor of Cuba, reached New
York last Saturday, having completed a
four months' tour of Europe.
Negro citizens of Hartford are to give
Senator Morgan U. Bulkeley a silver lov
ing cup In recognition of and gratitude
for his speech In behalf of the negro sol
diers Involved In the Brownsville affair.
Lewis Stuyvesant Chanler, the defeated
democratic candidate for governor of New
York In 1!"0S. and for two years lieutenant
governor of the state. Intends to become
a democratic candidate for the general as
sembly at the election this fall.
Governor Harmon of Ohio, who has been
mentioned ai a po."Hlble presidential cantl
3ate on the democratic ticket, has ac
cepted an Invitation lo deliver the oration
at tho Democratic Diy ci lebratlon to bo
held at the Texas .Stale fair In Dallas thla
mull', h.
Southern .politicians are watching with
some nervousness the spread of a farmers'
union In MixMlsxlppI, Louisiana and Texas,
with Indications of spreading northward.
The probability of the union taking a hand
in politics disturbs the kinoothnexs of poli
tical machines.
A. n. Stafford of Minerva avenue. Si.
Louts, has Issued at his own expense 1000
true blue buttons to he worn by men
aa a pledge to give up their seats to wo
men. A few appreciative women will near
whlla buttons bearing the words, "Thank
you." How about the women who must
have two aeats? Will they wear two button?
c
jFifty Years the Standard.
Makes finest cake and
pastry, light, flaky biscuit,
delicious griddle cakes
palatable and wholesome.
IngredienU found in tho
low-priced baking povr- ,
der are deleterious. Tho.
active principle U a min
eral acid derived from sul
phuric acid, oil of vitriol.
)!)
J
''l ' si 1 1, sjpniii ssjsjaaaiaunsisiiass j miani pii . j. wswii mil ii '
V , IHMWII II I I I I I lamWfc
No Lime Phosphates
LINES TO A LAUGH.
"The apartments are nulte satisfactory,"
said the would-be tenant. "I suppose it
lan't necessary for me to give references,
as I always pay as I go."
"That won't do in this case," rJolned
the landlord. "I only trust parties who
pay as they come." Chicago News.
"How are you getting along with your
good roads movement?"
Well." answered Farmer Corntossel.
"we haven"t gone backward. We've still
got the right of way and a good deal of
tne raw material. Washington Star.
"Wagsby boasts that he always sneaks
I Is mind."
"That wouldn't be so bad if he were
equally particular to mind his speech."
Baltimore American.
"Who presented the count to youT" asked
the privileged friend.
No one. answered the heiress. I
bought him." Llpplncott's.
A conductor and a brakeman on a Mon
tana railroad differ as to the proper pro
nunciation of the name Eurella. Passengers
are often atartled upon arrival at this
station to hoar tho conductor yell:
"loure a liar. You're a liar."
And then from the brakeman at the
other end of the car:
"You really are. You really are."
Everybody's.
First Newporter Was it an Informal
dinner?
Second Newporter Very. The flowers
only cost $2,500. Puck.
"Don't you think the king of Denmark
waa a little hasty In awarding credit for
the discovery of the north pole?"
No. Ho acted with fores trht. Todav
he is about the only man ln.flio world who
ran claim to have the whole business off
hla mind." Washington Star.
Hobbs How are you getting on In your
literary career?
Graph (with pomposity) Splendidly. I
am now collaborating with Scribe, the
author.
Hobbs-Is It possible? What part of
that work do you do?
Graph (who works the typewriter for
Scribe) I put his Ideas into readable form.
-Puck.
Just after a severe electrical storm, a
timid patron of a rural telephone system,
aware thnt the telephones were not
equipped with llKhtnlng arresters, called up
central and asked:
"Can I talk with safety now?"
"There la no such person on the line,"
replied the new girl at central. Judge.
THEY'RE WAITING, ME. PEARY.
Boston Globe.
They're waiting, Mr. Peary. ,
They're waiting for the shock; '
Before they get too weary.
Come on, and nail the Doo.
They're waiting in tho alleys.
They're waiting in the lanes;
They're waiting on the mountains,
They're waiting on the plains.
They're waiting up In Denmark.
They're waiting In New York;
They're waiting up In Norway,
They're waiting, too, in Cork.
They're waiting in ths Everglades,
Around the live-oak atumps;
They're waiting on the river flats,
And on the ocean humps.
They're waiting in Alaska,
They're waiting in Japan;
They're waiting In Siberia,
Peru and Hindustan,
They're waiting tip In Iceland,
Uaclne and Tlmbuetoo;
They're waiting in the Jungles.
There waiting in the Zoo.
They're waiting hers In city streets, ,
And off in rural scenes:
They're waiting up in airships.
And down In submarines.
They want to see the hammer.
And what the hardware's llke
They want to see each rivet,
. They want to set each apika. ,
-i
To see Cook nailed they're waiting,
In terrible suspense;
They'll wonder if you'll nail the Doo
Against a tree or fence;
Or at the topmost latitude,
Against the Arctic goal,
With Thor's terrlflo mallet,
You'll nail him to the polo.
Then come, Commander Peary,
We've braced us for the shock;
Come on with sledge and 'hardware,
Come on, and nail the Doc!
if! iM55
fei 'Kfs i
The Range with a Reputation"
.Wilt i
tnmt
They're built on honor of the bast materials.
Malleable and Charcoal Iron. They won't
nd you can't break-them beoauss they're
last.
has a big boiler
risht closs to
ths fire heat,
water In a Jiffy.
Air-tight Joints
and, purs asbes
tos lining make
perfect baker with little fuel. The best
range money can buy. Made In all sill's
and styles and sold by dealers very'
where. Writs for Ires booklet!
Story of Malattla Glory "
MaJtic Mfg. Co., Dept. 81 St. Louis, Mo.
Tire Great an j Gran J
Majestic
HilinUtsnd Cbarvaitlnu
Range
For the Ball
Are you prepared for the ball! If not we are ready
to complete your dress wardrobe from the dress suit to
the smallest accessories. - ,
Our dre6s suits are the acme of the tailoring art.
$40.00 and $43.00. .
Our line of full dress furnishings is complete and
correct to the smallest detail. Vests, shirts, studs, neck
wear, mufflers, links, hosiery, suspenders, silk and opera
hats.
If you get it here you know it's right.
'Brownina'King & C
CLOTHING, FURNISHINGS AND HATS, c
FIFTEENTH and DOUGLAS STREETS,
R. S. WILCOX, Manager.
OPENING
PIANOS
A. HOSPE CO.
1313 DOUGLAN ST.
t