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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 3, 1909)
THE OMAIIA SUNDAY BEE: OCTOBER 8, Tr09.
Tie. Omaiia Sunday Beb
rOUNDED BT EDWARD ROSEWATKR.
VICTOR ROSE WATER, EDITOR.
Entered at Omaha poatofflca aa eeeon
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STAEMENT OF CIRCVLATION.
State of Nebraska. Dougias County, .:
Oeorse II. Tsschurk, treasurer of The
Bee Publishing Company, being duly
aworn. says that the actual number of
full and complete copies of Tha Dally.
Morning, Evening and Sunday Bee printed
during the month of September, 10, waa
Nat total 1,886,395
Dally average 41,879
GEORGE B. TZSCHUCK.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn
to before ma this 30th day of Septem
ber, 1B0. M. P. WALKER,
(Seal.) ' Notary Public.
Sabeerlbera leaving; tha city tem
porarily ahonld tiara Tha Bee
mailed to them Addreaa will be
tkaagel aa often aa requested.
Persia'g deposed ruler la being
8towed away among the mothballs in
An expert adviser nays that the ice
box ehould have daily inspection.
Well, one trust baa busted, and
lower prices are promised. But how
many people eat potash?
Nothing discourages the busy little
microbe. Aa fast ae ecience conquers
one disease he invente another.
Mr. Person resigned to relieve Mr.
Tuft of embarrassment. If only all
persona would always be eo considerate!
Strange, at Mr. and Mrs. Bryan's
anniversary celebration 16 to 1 waa
never mentioned. And a silver wed
It should be distinctly understood
that Mr. Plnchot has a spigot ready to
tap any water power trust that comes
Mr. Bailey's latest refrain la,
"Won't you look home, Bill Bryan,
won't you looc home, I hate to have
Various cities are crusading against
smoke and noise. Tetthe town with'
out either has about aa much vitality
as a cemetery.
It's an 111 frost that does not warm
the cockles of some heart Mexico's
corh famine means fat orders on
The quest of the poles Is as nothing
compared to the constant search in
every line of endeavor for men, real
men, to do the world's work.
An actress who wedded a critic who
praised her has got a divorce. When
be became her husband bo must have
stopped being her press agent.
Cleveland and Bryan.
By harking back to the tariff Mr.
Bryan la giving hie friends an oppor
tunity, which they are already seizing,
to enucaror to square him up with the
Cleveland wing of the party, with
which he has never been In gooi
standing, and to try to make out that
if Orover Cleveland were still alive he
would be acclaiming Mr. llryan as his
It Is true that Mr. Bryan la again
throwing tariff duet, but there Is no
foundation for the claim that by so
doing be Is proving himself rightful
heir to the Cleveland mantle and en
titled to the confidence of Mr. Cleve
land's friends. Although Mr. Bryan's
campaign managers last year failed to
make the forgery case against Branden
burg stick, thij Succeeded In discredit
ing the Brandenburg article, although
It was conceded t reflect the real views
of Mr. Cleveland. What Mr.- Cleve
land thought of Mr. Bryan Is now
available from first-hand authorities
whose reliability will not be ques
tioned. In the curront Century mag
azine, containing'. Richard Watson
Gilder's reminiscences of his personal
association with Mr. Cleveland, we
have this with reference to the cam
paign of 1900:
Long talks about tha campaign In prog
ress. Constant attempts are being made
to force an expression of opinion that would
assist Bryan. This will ba unsuccessful. lie
said he had written about four confidential
letters; read one of the most explicit to
me. He said: "There are three horns to
this dilemma, McKinleylsm, Bryanlsm and
the Bryanlzatlon of the democratic party."
As a democrat ba thought this last aa great
an evil aa any; he cannot think that the
party will keep on Its present road; be
lieves that tha time will coma whan It will
turn on Its present leadera who hava led
It astray from Bound democratic principles.
Later in the same connection
throwing a backlight on the old tariff
contest Is this note:
I asked about his relations with Bryan. I
said, "You were making a fight for good
government Irrespective of any political
doctrine or program did you feel that
Bryan was one of the men In congress on
whom you could count on In that fight?"
Ha answered: "Not the slightest. I remem
ber hla coming to me to get men Into offloe
whom I generally found to be populists. I
didn't even look upon htm aa a genuine
That Mr. Cleveland never placed
any reliance In Mr. Bryan, we have
the further testimony of George F.
Parker, one - of his confidential secre
taries, narrating Mr. Cleveland'e esti
mate of his contemporaries in Mc
Clure's a few months ago. In which he
repeats conversations in which Mr.
Cleveland classed Mr. Bryan as a pop
ulist, and brings the estimate down
to March 12. 1B08, but a few weeks
before his death, repeating a last con
vernation oil the then approaching
presidential campaign, In which Mr.
This year gives ua our chance. The re
publicans are torn by faction In a way we
have never before seen, while the country
aeema ready to return to ua if wa will only
be true to ourselves. In spite of these fa
voring Influences, wa shall throw away our
chancea for the present, and put them In
peril for tha future. If Bryan la nominated.
The experience of the last twelve years has
demonstrated this. In two of tha presi
dential elections held during this period,
not less than a million solid, old-fashioned
democrats have felt that they could not
support tha national ticket, and have either
abstained from voting or have opposed the
candidate. Thla policy has not only driven
our own people away, but has repelled the
young men upon whom, throughout all the
history of our party, we have depended for
support and auccesa. Within this period
we have loet control of every state In the
north: we have, I fear, made some of the
southern states republican; we have prac
tlcally loat our northern representation In
the United States senate, and wa no longer
hava effective recruiting stations for public
life In state legislatures and other public
It Is clearly established that Mr
Cleveland never changed hla adverse
opinion of Mr. Bryan, and that Mr.
Cleveland's measurement of Mr. Bryan
marked the latter deficient according
to bis democratic standards. Mr
Cleveland did not put great stress on
Mr. Bryan's part In congress In the
tariff fight which produced the Wilson
bill, and would hardly pick him to
lead the democrats In another fight for
llstlo greed tha manifold resources
concerning which the president can
only advise and over which congress
has no authority. Each state, as well
as congress, should be alert to avert
the peril indicated by Mr. Plnchot in
his (earless and determined declaration.
The University of Michigan an
nounces that stringlesa beans produce
raosquttoleea back yards. Do the In
sects, then, flock to the front?
Peary sailed north up the Hudson
all the way to Newburgh, yet not even
West Point's grabdeur tempted him to
say, "That's mine I saw it first.'"
If tha preacher who has resigned
truly did It because he cannot live an
honest life as a pastor, what flag of
infamy will he embark under In his
That the government can prune
away eight and one-half millions of
expense and still put up ita usual front
la amaalng to those economists who
have to diet on prunes,
In making compulsory the public
school teaching of humano treatment
of dumb animals Illinois is flying In
the face of the traditional teacher who
turned out Mary'a lamb.
The Independent refining company
started by women In opposition to
Standard Oil has gone into bankruptcy
If the women cannot down the 8tand
ard, of what avail are man's efforts?
It U occasionally refreshing to ac
quire a distant point of view. An
American woman Just home from
abroad reports that a prevailing idea
among Chinese dames who have most
elaborate coiffures Is that the foreign
woman does not comb her hair. The
foreign husband who has to wait could
101 them bettes
Time waa when the east held claim
to all scholarly research, but condi
tions have changed and the east now
finds the west a frequent and authori
tative medium of discovery. Out of
Nebraska arises the freshest contribu
tion to a solution of the world's liter
ary mystery, Shakespeare, his person
ality and his work. Prof. Charles
William Wallace of the University of
Nebraska has been for years one of the
most Indefatigable of delvers into the
vanished records of the Bard of Avon,
and be has just completed a series of
investigations which promise to add
Materially to the public undorstanding
of the master dramatist.
While Prof. Wallace's original In
tention was not to confute the Bacon
ian theorists, still he claims to have
facts wheh will establish more clearly
and firmly Shakespeare's title to au
thorship as well as bis definite per
sonal standing as actor and manager,
if not as poet and dramatist, among
The latest discoveries of Prof. Wal
lace include documents determining
the date of some of Shakespeare's
plays, fixing for the first time the ex
act boundaries of the famous Globe
theater in London, and indicating the
extent of Shakespeare's ownership not
only In the Globe, but also in the
Blackfriars, which waa the fashionable
playhouse of his day. Prof. Wallace
has recovered from the dust of centur
ies the papers in a law suit brought by
the daughter of John Hemyngs, who
was Shakespeare's partner iu the
theatrical business, for an accounting
of her interest in the Shakespearean
Shakespeare seems to have been a
prodigy In enterprise, in a measure the
Hammer6teln of his day, entering
upon ambitious dramatic projects with
a daring that sometimes precipitated
financial perplexities. How amid the
annoyances of manifold managerial
activities he found opportunity to
write plays as well as to act them, or
how Shakespeare the poet flew from
the cares of the practical life of
Shakespeare the actor-manager to the
inspiration of his Muse, Prof. Wal
lace's discoveries may be expected to
aid the student and the general reader
had no earthly right to collect. Don
rrll called Scripture to witness the
veracity of his chronicle and argue!
that the behemoth spoken of In Holy
Writ was nothing but the tall of a
lomet ' spteadlng sharp-pointed thlngi
In the mire."
In the meantime Halley'a comet Is
swinging low his golden chariot In the
sky, and the child of today who ob
serves the forthcoming prcmloeJ mani
festations will hava interesting experi
ences to tell his grandchildren, to
whom Halley'a comet may sound Ilk a
Killing; a a Mercy.
When one contemplates the picture
of a human being suffering Incurable
torture and pleading to be put out of
misery, the temptation Is to say that
here is a case where one has the right
to kill. Wise men have often granted
the seeming justice of the plea, but
even the wisest hesitates to put Into
anyone's hands such terrible power.
It remained for a French Jury to up
hold the right to kill under such cir
cumstances In a case just decided
in Paris the husband on trial for mur
der pleaded that his wife, dying of an
agonizing disease, Implored hlra to kill
her, and he ended her slow misery by
quick death. The Jury acquitted him
on the ground that the killing waa
Testimony by a distinguished spe
cialist entered into the case. The
physician said that the prisoner was
perfectly rational and that he un
doubtedly had been incited to his fatal
act by extreme pity for his wife, di
rected by her will. The physician
added that he believed that there were
cases when killing would be a mercy.
This belief has been expressed before
by men of science the world over, but
the instinct to prolong Hfe Is too uni
versal to be thus readily overcome.
Human beings will continue to suffer
In sympathy with their loved ones and
hope against hope for the last chance
of recovery In spite of the French
Jury's decision that there are cases
where killing as an act of mercy is
SEEM053 BOILED D0W5.
He cannot be a aalnt who makes tha I
world sour. I
Crooked Uvea come from taking curves
Peeing tha purpose of palna robs it et
Ha power to hurt. j
Borne men seem to combine faith In their ,
God with pride In fooling Him.
The only way to keep some men straight
a to give them a big load lo haul. I
There Is always a tendenoy to mlataka
the appendix of religion for Ha heart.
He who haa forgotten the Ufa Is quite
likely to be carrying a chip for the letter.
He who haa to manufacture hla smlies
finds that grudgea within turn them into
Tha religion that haa to be warmed up
onca a week aoon becomes a tough proposition.
Depend on. it, the great Father doea not
forget when a man causes a child need
Tou may cut down your pants to fit your
boy, but you cannot do that way with
The prayer, "Give me riches and right
eousness." easily get shortened at the
When the amall man reaches the limits
of his brain he thlnka ha has come to tha
casts of the Infinite.
It la a good deal easier to mourn the
faults of others than It is to mend your
own. Chicago Tribune.
The Water Power Peril.
Chief Forester Pincuot, in return
lng to bis attack against a possible
monopoly of the nation's water power
sites, reiterates his determination to
confront congress with the impending
peril, and hopes to, with the promised
help of the preeldent, stir that body
Into the enactment of remedial legis
lation at th forthcoming session.
It would, of course, be a public
calamity lo permit any of the nation's
natural resources to be gobbled up by
a dictatorial combination, and the au
thority of congress should undoubtedly
b invoked to prevent consummation
of such a purpose. But congressional
control, so far as it affects the water
power sites, can hardly be extended
to cover other than land of the public
domain and navigable streams, and
here, as In so many other matters, the
nation's aim may be defeated or in
large measure frustrated by the laxity
or indifference of the individual states.
Mr. Plnchot himself has admitted
somewhat of this. Each state has
within ita borders abundant resources
outside the range of national control,
resources now going to waste or used
only la part, which In tVe natural de
velopment of commerce and Industry
are bound to Invite the cupidity of any
such big combine as Mr. Plnchot sug
gests. It is for th individual state to
awaken to this danger, as well as for
congress. If national legislation la
imperative to save to the peopl the
water power site, on lands and
streams within th reach of congres
sional action, how equally essential It
is that the statea, with their several
authority, uact at one such legisla
tion as shall conserve from moaopo-
Our Stranje Celestial Guest
The comet, that brilliant and er
ratic genius of a wanderer in celestial
domains, is a fascinating fellow. Only
occasionally Is a generation permitted
the spectacle of this flash visitor ob
scuring the steadfast brilliants of the
constant constellations. Yet that gen
eration will recall with wonderment
and awe the strange sight in the sky
long years after the eccentric caller
has swept out of vision. The faithful
moon looming large and fat and mel
low, grotesquely gleaming in the won
derful autumnal night, is a finer show
than all the comets we modern Amer
icans have ever met, and is far more
serviceable in the development of na
tional life, including the minor indi
vidual phases of courting, serenading
and tho writing of poetry. No one
ever sang a song of 'Oh, you comet,"
but look at th sentimental ballads
and literature about the moon! It la
when the moon swings high on moist
summer nights that the corn grows so
that one may hear It crackle. But the
moou la only tha moon, but when a
comet comes along he draws the crowd
like a big brass band.
Now comes close to earth Mister
Halley'a comet. It seems that comets
like prodigal sons were named in their
youth, and when they come back to
the old homestead for a glimpse of
serene times, the neighbors cry,
"Why, that's Jack," or "Jim." or
"Bob," or whatever. Ordinary folks
Just know It as a comet, the same as
they know a star from a skyrocket, but
the scientists tell us whose comet it is,
whether Peary's or Cook's, or some
And behold, this time Mister Hal-
ley's comet promises to be right neigh
borly, if the scientists have It figured
out aright, and In these days of famil
iarity with artificial horizons it is easy
to get poles and comets straight with
out Esquimau or Japanese aid. So
neighborly is Mister Halley's comet
to be that he is scheduled to swing his
brilliant tail smack up against ths
earth, like the most popular batsman
of our nine lining out the sphere for
a home run. That tall, if It were
solid, would bump old Mother Earth
considerable, but right here la where
the scientists reassure the expectant
grandstand and bewildered bleachers.
The comet's tall glisters, but the glis
ter is only moonshine, the earth
passes through with a layer of powder
like the pollen of goldenrod hiding
the wrinkles of his veteran face, and
goes dancing aiong on nis xooiisn,
merry way till the next time.
Not only do w common people ad
mire and wonder at th comet. Great
minds also have grappled with ita fas
cinating mstery. Even Ignatius Don
nelly wrote a book about it called
"Hsgnarok." to bewilder the reader
who ran and then appended for the
benefit of th runner the subtltU, "The
Age of Fire and Gravel." He reasoned
that th earth had one passed through
th tall of a comet, which was so full
of ballast that a Sahara sandstorm
would be a silken kiss In comparison,
and be held this circumataac to ac
count for th presence of queer min
eral aouvaulro lUtt such, specimens
The Chicago Tribune, one of the most
powerful enemies of the guaranty principle,
makes this significant admission: "The
failure of the guaranty law would mean
ruin to many of these 150 banks and a
financial panic In tha state." The guaranty
law, in other 'Words, In all that stands be
tween scores of Oklahoma banks and ruin
right now. World-Herald.
The Chicago Tribune made no such
admission whatever, and tho World
Herald knows It. The Chicago Trlh
una simply printed the Associated
Press report from Oklahoma City, Into
which the local correspondent had
woven this product of his own lmagina
tion. This very same Associated Preas
dispatch, with the very same "admis
stem," was printed simultaneously In
the news columns of the World-Herald,
The Be and hundreds of other
papers, which is proof conclusive that
It did not originate with the Chicago
Tribune. It is none of tho business of
the Associated Press to transmit the
inferences or conclusions of its corre
spondents, and perhaps the Chicago
Tribune ought to have cut out this
unsubstantiated sentence. The at
tempt of the World-Herald, how.
ever, to saddle upon the Tribune a
statement for which it is by no means
responsible is illustrative of the petty
and unfair devices to which It often
resorts to boleter up Its position when
ever it feels that It is shaky.
Ohio experimental agriculturists are
feeding brain food to pigs, and the re
sultant porcine prodigies are said to
cultivate finer habit. If our pork Is
to have a college education It will be
next in order to spread aesthetio cul
ture among those common barnyard
fowls who lay the vulgar but popular
Torn by Hons, saturated with oil
and burned, the Moroccan pretender
could make no pretense of finding bis
death devoid of th spectaculsr. A3
a royal high executioner tho sultan
has Gilbert and Sullivan's past master
backed off the boards.
The German Year Book, just issued,
shows the present population of Ger
many to be 63,888,000, a gain of 898,
000 over 1908. And every one of
these new people, though a babe in
arms, is an added war-bogie to the
A traveler from the pellagra belt
concludes from what he has observed
in his Journeys that pellagra is like
malaria, always prevalent in the next
town; or like good fishing, to be found
about half a mile farther upstream.
Columbia has opened America's
first mnlverslty school of household
arts. There is yet hope that aesthetic
housekeepers may abolish from home
life such sordid fundamentals as cloth
ing, shelter and food.
Tact, patience and courtesy are
urged by the United States consular
service upon tourists in alien lands
The same qualities pave the way of
life with pleasantness and contentment
here at home.
Coming Dona m Fear.
Tha presldent'a admission that he Is
dependent upon Mrs. Taft for avoiding
the danger of taking hlmaelf too aarl
oualy will strike a responsive chord In
many a masculine breast.
SECULAR SHOTS AT THE PULPIT
Boston Herald: Somebody asks what the
Duxbury saints wanted with money on the
laat day. perhapa they wanted it to burn.
New York World: Mr. Rockefeller's new
pastor In Cleveland brings with him what
h calls "essential accessories." Including
one fast trotting horse, one thoroughbred
collie dog, one sst of golf clubs, one aat
of tennis racquets, one set of handballs.
one set of fishing rods and one set of
fowling pieces. It Is not an othodox equip
ment, but Its seven divisions will attract
at least more attention than would tha
"firstly" to "seventhly" of an old school
Iioston Transcript: After spending thou
sands of dollars In hobbling ovar the
country trying to find a cure for rehuina
tlbm and gout, the clergyman In charge of
wealthy parish on Long Island, N. Y.,
has found on at bomt It la a woodsaw,
regularly and vigorously applied to hard
wood, aoft wood, or whatsoever offers,
and the clergyman, after a week's use of
It, declares that he Is rid of his aches and
pains, that his lameness has left him, and
that he Is losing flesh which be waa more
than willing to spare. Incidentally, ha has
disposed of several trees that uowhole
somely shaded hla house and ba Is rapidly
laying In his winter's supply of kindling.
This of course Is only one man's experi
ence. Yet, when one comes to think of It,
woodsawlng must be "good medicine," be
cause It la ao unpleasant to take.
Leslie's Weekly: "Clergymen are probably
subject to more temptations than any other
publlo men, and their greatest dangers Ua
In tha wiles of the fair sex." This is the
bombshell which th Rev. William E.
Barton, of the Oak Park Congregational
church, Illinois, hurled at an audience of
clerical hearers when he addreased tha
Presbyterian Ministers' association recently
at Chicago. Dr. Barton fla widely known
as a powerful thinker and a man of force
ful character, so that his words caused a
decided sensation. He urged pastors
alwaya to have a thiid person present when
talking to women members of their flock,
and warned them of the dangers of meet
ing fair worshipers alone, however, in
nocent the circumstances. ' "It must be
arranged," he said, "so that auon temp
tations cannot be placed before ua." Tbe
minister should be ao guarded, he thinks.
that tha temptations which beset other
men shall leave him unscathed.
PERSONAL AND OTHERWISE.
One thing Is satisfactorily settled by the
pole hunters. Anna Took is a Cool lady.
By a backward spell of the four-letter
Eskimo town, th root of the polar trouble
may be found.
However, the companies can make good
any loas of bualness under tha Sibley law
by expressing their feelings.
A St. Louis butglar who did business
clad in a klmona was run down by his
women victims. My, they didn't do a thing
to that klmona.
A charge of 85 for th privilege of hear
ing pole hunters tell their tales Is calcu
lated to put a large chuk of ice on the
beads of enthusiasts.
A marked uplift In the prioe of rubber
la said to be due to a shortage of raw
material. Still the stock of rubbernecks
shows no diminution.
The winter's Intellectual touneys will
pass up th old favorite, "What la
whisky?" and stir Jaded gray matter with
the thriller, "Was Shakespeare a gentle
Somehow tha Balkan war cloud refuses to
pull off Its annual stunt. Still the old
world managers to roll on, seeming satis-
fled with a Spanish fandango and Arctic
A striking illustration of the tyranny of
habit as afforded by the West Duxbury
enthusiasts gathered to witness th end of
the world. A contribution box went the
rounds a few moments before the sched
St. Paul bakers are In a state of agita
tion because they are required to put
Wrappers around their bread. "It coats
money to keep bread clean," they explain
In unlaon, and they haven't any dough to
burn that way.
Down In Tennessee a wonderful brand
of boose has been conoocted. So smooth
and lnnooent of guile that It leaves not
the faintest trace of a load on the breath
What It doea the morning after la too
painful to print.
It may be said In extenuation that the
poet who murmured about "the melan
choly days" of autumn never felt the
charm of autumn days In the corn belt.
None finer than these Ak-Sar-Ben days
has been experienced since Adam went a'
Great Need et Ike Hoar.
What the nearness of Mara had to do
with the magnetic storm no ona knowa;
nor can we Justly accuse Cook or Peary
of meddling with the switchboard while
at the pole. What we seem to need now
adays Is a sclentlflo Sherlock Holmes
a beat fur tackling hyperborean
THE GOLDEN KINGDOM.
There's a wonderful country, fair to see,
That's known aa the land or l sea-to-be,
Just over the borders of Arcady,
In tha irolden Kingdom of Kiss:
The skies. In this kingdom, sre always
There are roses, the fairest that ever
Love sings In the darkness and smiles
In the dew.
In this earlanded Isle of bliss.
There's light and laughter, and music's
And the Dutter of feet clad In fairy shoon,
And the tawn cf the sun, nnd the sheen
of the mwn
King Folly, In fool's attire.
And (he lo.r una tuii, and woe
And the dre&m one arci.i.i-u, i.i m.o,
And prince and pauper receive his due
In this land or Hearts jjesira.
It's a wonderful country, thla land of
A country remote from the world and
Where everything la Juat what every
And lovlner Is glint, and glee:
Where age wins youth, and youth wins
And love comas lisping the loved ones
And joy Is living, and grief a game
la t Land si the Used-te-be.
The Record of
a Half Century
The history of the Equitable Life Assurance Society 1
of the United States since its organization in 1859 to tha
present time is in many respects the history of the life
insurance business for the past fifty years. It is largely
due to the progressive administration of the Equitable
that the skepticism of the public toward life insurance
was years ago dispelled and that the business has become
the great force it now is in the financial and economio
life of the nation.
By popularizing life insurance itself, by liberalizing
the policy contract, by making Equitable policies attrac
tive for the policyholder to buy and easy for the agent to
sell, the Society has from time to time during its history
set the standard for all companies.
Th Equitable was th first company to max Its pel
icle Incontestable after th first year.
The Kqultabl was th tint company to simplify th
policy contract, and to remove unnecessary, burdsnsom
Th Kqni table was the first company to pay Its death
claims Immediately on presentation of proofs of death.
The Equitable was th first leading company to Issu
a policy providing for a surrender value In cash of th full
reserve during th lifetime of the policyholder.
After paying to policyholders since organization, to
December 31, 1908, the tremendous total of $656,772,603,
tho Equitable has in addition accumulated assets amount
ing on December 31, 1908, to $472,339,509, making atotal
fund of $1,129,112,112, or $39,322,697( more than policy
holders have paid to the Society in premiums.
The Surplus over and above all liabilities ($391,072,
042) amounted on December 31, 1908, to $81,267,467, en
suring beyond all question the fulfillment of every policy
obligation. Because of its progressive, economio admin
istration, its fair dealing toward policyholders, its im
pregnable financial strength, the Equitable at the, close
of an eminently successful first half-century offers to the
insuring public life insurance of the very highest grade,
and agency positions of exceptional value to high class
'STRONGEST IN THE "WORLD."
Life Assurance Society
OF THE UNITED STATES
PAUL MORTON, President
It D. NEELY, Manager
Merchants National Dank Building, Omaha,
We sell new runabouts
and top buggies, worth
$75 and up, f or . . . $50
ONE-THIRD OFP ON
HARNESS IP YOU
GET ON QUICKLY.
10th and Jackson Sts.
"It waa ao unfortunate that aha was coin
palled to sst a divorce."
"UnfortunateT Uoodnsss. no. She Is to
get splendid alimony." Chicago Hecord
Herald. "Tou look sweet enough to kiss," says
the Impressed young man.
"So many gentlemen tell ma that," coyly
answers the (air girl.
"Ah! That should make you happy."
"But thay merely say that," she repines.
"They merely tell ma tbe facts' in the case
and never prove their statements." Lite.
Mrs. Jawbackt I'd Ilka to live In one of
those igloos. Tney re ao cosy.
Mr. Jawback Good Lord! You'll be
wanting a "bungalow" next! Cleveland
"Harold," aha said, "I asked you to re
turn tha lock of my nalr I foolishly
KAve you once. By mlstaks you have
brought back two. Ona of them la a pale
Llor.de. Who gave you that?"
"Tou did, Maudle," sighed Harold. "They
are both yours." Chicago Tribune.
"And can't you find a place for my love
In your heart?"
"Not a corner. It's filled fom cellar to
slllo. si d I'm quit sura you couldn't ex
pect me to acquire a case of enlargement
Just to make room for you." Cleveland
Bensonhurst Dors your wife find fault
with the sue of the flat?
Torkvllle There Isn't room for complaint.
"I suppose now, old Moneybags Is a
hopeless invalid, his preity Vuunr wife
keepa him ainuaod and cheerad ooiisldera
"No doubt aha At. I heard hr telling
Mm the other da bow in Uie uburoh
A. Hospe Co. this week will
put on sal a number of high
grad and standard pianos at
prices that will pay th In and out-of-town
customer to com, a long
distance to bur '
Wsser Bros. Pianos
Prices and terms will suit you.
1513 Doughs St.
Excelsior Springs Mineral Waters
We are distributing agenta In Omaha
for the celebrated wutern from lCxcelslor
Sprint!. Mo... and sell at following prices;
Hegent, quart bottle, 2Sc; dozen, $2,261
cae 60 bottles, (8.00.
Hulpho-Sullne, quart bottle, 25c; dozenS.
$2 2b; case, 60 bottles, 18.00.
Kulpho-fcallne, pint bottle, 15c; dozen.
Boterlsn, quart bottle, iOc; dozen, 100.(
Butrlan, pint bottle, 16c; dozen, 1 60. f'
. Boterlan Olnger Ale, pint bottle, 16o
Hoterlan (linger Ale, quart bottle, 26c
dozen, 12 26.
Diamond Llthla, half-gallon bottle, 40c
case, 1 dozen, $4.00. i
Crystal Llthla, five-gallon jugs, each,
Salt Sulphur, five-gallon lugs, each,
Delivery free to any part of Omaha,
rouiiril Fluffs or Booth (imahs
BXEB.I6AJ Si MOOXnn DJtUO CO,
16th and Dodve.
OWl SBOU CO., 16th and Harnaf.
amateur theatricals, everybody eoncrat
ulated her n her appearance as a frisky
ouug widow." Baltimore American
"Say, .tones, that stenographer of yours
s a healthy looking girl. Don't look as
though she'd tver been 1.1 a .lay."
That shows hew eaiy It is to oe mis.
taken. Drown. Bha has a nuinlur of ba4
spella evary Uy-iiwsua TrauaurttrW
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