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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 4, 1909)
.4 THE HKE: OMAHA. WEDNESDAY. AfOrST 4. lOW. Tiie Omaha Daily Dei- FOrsntD PT EIWARI RDSEWATKR. VICTOR HdfEWATr.ri, KM TOR Entered l Omihi postofflre aa Miond class matter. TERMS OF fUHSCRlPTlON. Pslly Pee (without Sunday one year. M l ' n 1 1 n-" aim runup;, v,,- HEI.IVERED Br CARRIER teliv Bee (Including Sunday), per k"l Pally Hee (without Sunday), per w"K.1'k' K.venlng Bee (without Htinday). per ween e Esenlng Bm (with Wundayi. per 'oK!VJ rvinnsy d"-, uo i wi Haturdav Bee. one ynr... Address all complalnta of Irregularities in delivery to City Clrculstlnn Irepertment. OFFICES Omht-Th Bee Building. Houth Omaha-Twenty-fourth and . Cnunrll Hluffs-U Scott Street. Lincoln-Ms Little Building ,,A,. Chlrto-i;4 Marnuetta Building. w York-Rooms UOI-1102 No. 34. Thirty-third Rtrwt w Vashlngton-T28 Fourteenth street, N. CORRESPONDENCE. Communication, relating : to new. and edi torial matter .hnuld be addressed. Om.na Jlee. Editorial Department. REMITTANCES. Remit by draft. "P psiabla to The Bee P"'"1.1"" en, of only ! cn .(amp. rere ved In J1 mall account. Personal 7;'P't,d Omaha or eaetern enohnnges, not acc-ptea. STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION. State of Nebraska. DouKla. County, ss: (Jeo-ce R. Trschuck. rB",,r" ,v ' orn Ree Publishing Company. )d ., that the a-tnal n'.mber f l nA complete copies of Th D lv. M" ,n: Evening and undv Bee printed m-aa II follow.. monwi oi juiy, i.-w. - A 1 41,740 17. 1 41,790 ! X 49,090 1 4 40,130 :o. 5 49,180 21. 41,930 12. ; 41,080 13 a 41,870 24. 9 41.110 10 41,760 26 11 40.680 27. 12 43,630 28 13 41,740 29 11 41,710 30 IS 41,870 SI, 1 41.740 Total 40,300 41,940 41.780 43,430 41,690 41,910 41,800 40,190 41,970 41,680 41,540 41.640 41,890 Returned cople. Net total 9.838 . . .1,989.413 41.368 Dally average nvnnh'p'. ' vi ' TZSCHCCK. Treasurer. Subscribed In my presence and .worn to before me this 2d day of August, 1909. (Seal) M. P. WALKER. Notary Public. abacrlbera leaving; the? city tem porarily .how Id hay The Be mailed to them. Add res. will be changed aa often ae requested. King Alfonso is dllllgently looking for the man who is rocking the boat. The Moors persistently refuse to be taken In by the shell game. Evidently they have seen it worked before. Those who complain of John D. Rockefeller's financial logic must ad mit that he doei not indulge in hair splitting. Visiting Jewelers who do not nee what they want should not be bashful about asking for it. Omaha aims to please its guests. A lot of smuggled opium was lo cated in a shipment of machinery des tined for Manila. Put there to make the wheels go 'round. Dry farming experiments have been seriously Interfered with this summer, but the experimenters will not quarrel with the rain-makers. Not a single populist running for office on the state ticket In Nebraska this year. Tan it be that all the non partisans are democrats? Omaha's grain business for July shows substantial Increases as com pared with the preceding year. The Grain exchange li making good. A horse named Affliction won a rich stake at the Saratoga races and there are many horse owners who would lee willing to have that kind of an afflic tion. The I'nlted 8tatas and Germany have negotiated a reciprocal patent treaty and Germany's troubles com mence when frauleln collides with the washing machine man. I'p to tne hour of going to press Governor Shallenberger had not issued bis call for an extra session of the leg islature aa demanded by the demo cratic platform makers. The house is balking on an appro priation for automobiles for public officials. Because legislative methods are slow the house argues that every thing else must follow suit. Volcanoes are all right for show purposes, but Mexico aa well aa several other localities can testify that when tbey really take a notion to gat busy they are not pleasant neighbors. Lost, Strayed or Stolen One boom for "Bill'.' Oldham for the nonpartisan democratic nomination for supreme judge launched amid great enthusiasm at that 'famous Kearney banquet. Speaking of names again, "E. P. Fruit" ta running for county commis sioner to Lancaster county, but bis ad vertisement does not say whether or not "E. P." atanda for "Easy Picking." If you have any thrones which are not securely anchored it would be a good plan to put them in a safety de posit vault. Inasmuch aa so many have been lost within the laat few months. Henry Clay Pierca, the oil magnate, has been married in Europe. Evi dently Mr. Pleica doea not expect to go to prison la Texas, at last until b baa had time to complete hla honey moon. . Nebraska is handicapped for any Sort to ba the first to act on the in come tax amendment. The legisla tures of Alabama and Georgia are In aeaslon and the Alabama aolons have already taken ib first atDs toward (gUflcatloi A Bunco Game. There is Just one thing in the democratic state platform that doe. not meet our hearty approval and that Is the nonpartisan Judiciary plank. It reads well and argues out well, but has no place In practical poli tic, and e venture the assertion that not one of the committee that drafted the plank ha. the remotest Idea of voting fot any but democrats for the place and are confident that In case a party paper .hould deride to support a republican It. editor would be branded by the fathera of the plank a. traitor, to the party. This editor believe. In picking out our beet democratic attorney, and electing them to the supreme bench If we can. No nonpartisan nonsense In ours. If you please Howell. Journal. This from the Howells Journal, an uncompromising democratic organ whose expressions of disgust with the "nonpartisan nonsense" we have once before quoted. There is not a democratic politician In Nebraska with sense enough to come In out of the wet who does not see through the "nonpartisan" bunco game Just as clearly as does the editor of the Howells Journal. Those demo crats who beat the "nonpartisan" drum loudest may possibly think they will be able to fool someone. If they had any Idea that their democratic candidates could get more votes by boldly flying the democratic banner they would be proclaiming their de mocracy from the housetops. But they have persuaded themselves that the democrats will vote for none but democrats anyway, and that by mas querading their democratic candidates as "nonpartisans" they may get some votes that they could not get without the disguise. That suggests another question. The democratic state platform embraces a plank proclaiming fealty to the idea of "nonpartlsanshlp," and the democratic oracle Insists that platforms are bind ing. If a democrat, like the editor of the Howells Journal for example, re fuses to foreswear his democracy and pretend that he Is a nonpartisan, does he cease' to be a democrat? Uniform Freight Classification. Representatives of the railroads, commercial bodies and the Interstate Commerce commission are in session at Chicago discussing one of the most far-reaching and important problems of transportation uniform classifi cation. Under existing freight tariffs goods appear in one classification In one section carrying a certain rate, but are included in a different classifica tion In another district with a dif ferent rate. This leads to collusion and uncertainty in computing freight rates to the detriment particularly of shippers whose business does not war rant employing an expert traffic man, and even experts often overlook things which entail loss upon the shipper. Operating conditions and density of traffic necessarily Justify differences in rates in the various sections, but there is no such good reason for differ ences in classification. If uniformity could be estabUhed it would be a great advantage to shippers. Another matter fully as important as uniformity, is stability of classifi cation. Changing commodities from one classification to another affords a most subtle and effective way of rais ing or manipulating rates. Freight bills often show an increase when the railroad men point to the tariff sbeeta to prove that there has been no in crease. Classifications are also often changed opportunely to give a favored shipper an advantage, which la Just as pernicious as rebating or cutting rates. The same stability should attach to classification and the same checks be provided against changes as now sur round changes in schedules. Enlarging District of Columbia. Both In and out of congress an agi tation is going on to extend the bound aries of the District of Columbia. The constitution provides for establishing the seat of government in a district ten miles square and originally the dis trict embraced such territory. In 1846 congress, thinking the portion south of the Potomac river was not needed for federal purposes, receded it to the state of Virginia. There is a serious question whether this act of congress would stand the test of the courts, but the consensus of opinion Is that reces sion by Virginia would be the better remedy even if the state were to be recompensed for loss of taxable pro perty. The reasons for extending the dis trict are many, the most Important being that the national capital Is grow ing so rapidly that the south bank of the Potomac is needed for expansion and it is desirable the city on the south bank should grow up in har mony with that on the north. National pcJde, which sustains the beautlfica tln of the capital, would suffer if an eyaore should grow up facing it on the south. The federal gov ernment has a large Investment in bridges over the Potomac and much other property, Including the National cemetery, on the sovth bank which properly belongs within the district. Every consideration from a national standpoint favors the rcacqulaltlon of the territory in question and the only objection la a sentimental one on the part of the state of Virginia. The ruall strip is rich in historic associa tions and Virginians have not ceased to resent the segregation of West Vir ginia during war times. It is thought, however, that these objections would not be Insuperable If the question were tactfully handled. A committee of the Washington Chamber of Commerce has charge of the movement for en largement of the district and will pro bably present the proposal to congress at the regular session in December. As usual, the active work of street paving will not be under full headway In Omaha until September because of dla in the preliminary arrange- mfnts. There ought to be some way of making September and June ex change places on the paving contrac tor's calendar. Burton for River Improvement In an Interview, Senator Burton of Ohio declares improvement of the nav igable rivers and canal construction an Imperative necessity. While chairman of the rivers and harbors committee of the house Mr. Burton wae generally charged with opposing waterway im provements, but this charge wae only partially founded. As chairman of the committee be was confronted by two problems, one to keep appropriations within bounds, and the other to com bat visionary and Utopian schemes. In these two struggles he was doubtless led to opposing measures which by themselves might have merit and H is significant that he now takes a broader view when the restraint of his chair manship is removed. Senator Burton Is conceded to be one of the best posted men on water way subjects In public life. He is not moved by sentiment or prejudiced, but his conclusions are thought out. For this reason, hla opinion that systema tic development of river and canal transportations Is necessary not only to check railroad rapacity, but to af ford facilities which the railroads can never give in times of heavy traffic, should carry great weight. He sees, as have many others, that the time is coming when heavy bulk freight roust seek the water routes on account of both cheapness and inability of the railroads to handle It expeditiously. if the river Improvement movement can direst itself of some of the chim erical schemes and its advocates will be willing to start with reasonable ap propriations, particularly in view of the treasury situation, there is good reason to believe something substan tial can be accomplished. Railroads and the Panic. Practically all the railroad reports Issued within the last year contains a demonstration that the panic of 1907 was not devoid of compensating bene fits. Without exception they show a decrease in expenses In proportion to the gross revenue and in only a few instances Is this the result of the cut ting employes wages. This Is partic ularly true of the stronger lines which in spite of greatly decreased earnings have neither cut wages nor reduced dividends. The explanation is found in the elimination of waste and greater economy of methods. When traffic was at flood tide prev ious to the panic extravagancies crept into management and supplies were wasted by employes without the checks now Imposed. A notable proof of this came later in saving of coal consump tion through the co-operation of em ployes and management on one of our leading roads. The same economy has been pursued in other lines until the saving in the aggregate runs into the millions. In any large business em ploying many men removed from direct personal supervision there will always be much waste, but in the case of rail roads .'Ms has grown to be enormous while managers were engrossed in the larger and seemingly more important problems of how to move the business offered. With the knowledge gained by forced economies and the detailed rec ords kept by railroads it is not likely that the old conditions will ever re turn and the stockholders will be large gainers without taking anything from the Income of the man who tolls. Neither is the , stockholder the only one interested for every move which cheapens the cost of transportation directly or indirectly benefits the ship per and consumer in the long run. Our old friend, Edgar Howard, ad mits that although he served on the resolutions committee at the late dem ocratic state convention, "we did not succeed in getting Just such a platform as we desired." Accidents sometimes happen to the best of us. For the month just closed the births recorded in Omaha are 226, as against 139 deaths. This makes a natural population increase of eighty-seven for the month. Those school census enu merators must have been careless. Paul Morton suggests an export tax on American heiresses as a means of increasing government revenues. The great difficulty would be the bankrupt nobility might dodge the tax by com ing over here to live with us. South Carolina has proclaimed a closed season for the saloons, begin ning two weeks before the state elec tion and continuing two weeks after. How is the victor to celebrate and the loser to drown his sorrow? The 8 per cent occupation tax on franchlsed corporations may fill the bill for the present, but the city should have It distinctly understood that It Is making no contract to stop at that rate forever. The United 8tates drank less whisky and other strong liquor laat year than during the year before. The tax col lections were f 4,000,000 less, which at $1.10 meana several drinks. fttlff las on Raw Material. St. Ixuls Globe-Democrat. Paul Morton proposes an export tax on 'American heiress going abroad to marry foreign noblemen. An export tariff on raw material might work as well aa an Import ona. A Hryaa Idea. Charleston News and Courier. "Ton one opposed a state-wide prohibi tion law in Nebraska?" "I did, for the reaaon that tha people In ona end of the state had no right to dtctatefo those In another part of the atate. County local option ceems to be a fair and safe solu .lon of the prublem." Is 11 a philosopher who .peaks? It I.. We have quoted from an Intervled Riven by William J. Bryan. Mlahtlna Ilia Roosters. Indianapolis News. It Is said that Senator Aldrtch does not read the newspapers. Such a slate of af fair, would represent another case of genius falling to profit by It. own efforts No one man has done mote to make the newspaper. Interesting than the Rhode Island senator. i lttlnar oa a Danareroua I. Id. Baltimore American. The Spanish authorities are suppressing! editions and confiscating newspapers. tru:t- I li it that v r. ..... .... . will 1 ... I the. excited country. With the Rourhon tendency to forget nothing and learn noth ing, they are sitting on the safety valve by way of preventing the explosion. A Grievance Averted. Cleveland Plain Dealer. The three soldiers at Omaha who volun teered as subjects for typhoid fever experi ments are alive and husiiy. an outcome gratifying alike to the subjects and to the experimenters. Had the result been dif ferent the dead men would have hsd a Just grievance against the scientists. Good Thing to Pnah Along. Chicago Tribune. Four public highways crossing the country from the Atlantic to the Taclfle are to be asked of congress by the League for Highway Improvement. The nation could hardly make a better Investment, and If congress does not consent, the In dividual states should perform the task themselves. Cheapening! the (iold Hollar. Springfield Republican. The July report of gold production in the Rand district of South Africa shows a larger monthly output for the season than ever before and the largest of record for any season save only last December. This means more for high prices and cost of living than our tariff bill as revised by President Taft. The gold dollar Is rapidly depreciating to the level of the cheapest dollar known to the people of this country since the civil war-time period ofa paper money standard. Rising Storm Attains! Militarism. Baltimore American. The unpopularity of the Moorish war In Spain and the demand that the people whose money and blood are spent In the contest should have a voice In deciding their own fate show, the march of repub lican Ideas In the world. No longer will the mass of any nation submit to be looked on merely as tools or food for powder by a few constituting the government. The constitutional monarchy, In which there Is a popular voice In the government. Is the only one which can weather the socialistic storm In Europe. The loll of Years. Boston Transcript. A few years ago the pension roll reached the million mark. The commissioner's figures thla year will show It below that by more than fifty thousand, and the low- eat It has been for sixteen years. During the month of May nearly three thousand additions were met by more than four thousand deaths, the decrease waa con stant and henceforth the reduction In the ranks of Its beneficiaries must be rapid. While this means a lessening of the gov ernment's burdens the economic gain will never compensate for the loss of those whose patriotic service entitles them to the nation's regard. VACCINATION FOR TV FHOID. Importance of Experiment, of Army Surgeons In Omaha. Army surgeons at Fort Omaha announca the successful use, of "the typhoid serum In the cases of three soldiers belonging to the garrison. After Inoculation these men have stood the severest tests of ex posure, to the typhoid bacillus. On June 17 the three men were vaccl hated with the serum, and within a week developed mild cases of typhoid, from which they recovered quickly. A second vaccination followed, with no trace of the disease appearing, showing they had be come Immunes. at least as far as the di rect Introduction of the poison Into their blood was concerned. 8o far the army doctors had proved their caae. It remained to be seen If the three soldiers could withstand the test of drinking water containing typhoid bacilli. A million germs were put Into ordinary water that had been allowed to aland In an open vessel for three days. Tha men drank a gallon of this water and have suffered no Illness or Inconvenience. If they had not been immune, the army sur geons say, tha soldiers would have been stricken with fever In from thraa to five days. The value of this discovery is evidently great. It seema to place typhoid fever, on of tha scourges of the world, in the same class with smallpox, which, by the use of vaccine, has become one of our rarest diseases. That the army ahould develop this . new serum is particularly fitting? for tha soldier more than any other class Is subjected to the danger of Impure water supply. The danger from the enemy In many campaigns has been slight com pared with the ravages caused by typhoid In i the ranks of armies. The devotion of the army surgeons and the quiet courage of the men In the ranks who offered themselves for the tost are deserving of the gratitude and admiration of every aoldier and of all mankind. PERSONAL NOTES. Mr. Roosevelt Is mentioned as minister to Mexico. Thla probably completes tha list of possibilities, although there may remain one or two positions for which the gentle man has not been suggested. Another Salome dancer Is advertised by arrest at New York for not having the right kind of basement story to her tights. The new commissioner of police is deter mined to give practical proof of his mod esty. In Alabama It Is now illegal to carry a pistol less than two feet In length. When a native Is seen approaching with one of the legal 24-Inch weapona It may be taken that he ia in a serous mood and the pru dent observer will go away. Jamea Jebuaa Shannon, the portrait painter, has been elected a royal acade mician. Shannon was born In Auburn. N. Y . In He went to England In Ih'H. He has had paintings in many exhibitions, receiving first-class medala at Parla. Berlin and Vienna. y Oeoige Jamison of Allenwood. I'nlon county, I'a., holds the record as a salmon fisherman fer this season. On Monday he caught three salmon, measuring IS. IV and 14 inches, respectively, and Tuesday he rap tured the king of all. a salmon measuring X inches and neighing seven pounds. The catch was made at the Allenwood bridge piers. According to the Boston Advertiser's John Lorance. newspaper rrten are well treated at tha White House nowadays. Sometimes Mr. Taft aeea them while senators wait In tha anterooma. 'On Sunday last." writes Loranoe. "a large number of correspond ents were with the president for two houra. having quite a visit with him and smoking Taft cigars." 'TIS NOT BRYAN'S MOVE. Kansas City Star: Mr. Bryan may have decided to lemaln In Lincoln for the rea son that it Is doubtful if Texas needs any more democrats Just at this time. St. t.oulK Times: Mr Bryan, who an nounces definitely that he Is "a future In Nebraska." thereby logically seems also to declare that he no longer hopes for the White Mouse. New York World; Mr Bryan heatedly denies the report that he Intends to move to Texas, so e assume that the time Is not yet ripe to nominate a southern demo rial for president. Vet Mr. Bryan would find that Texas had a salubrious politi cal climate and a fertile political soil. New York Tribune: Those who believe that wits are sharpened and Intellects broadened by a change of environment must regret that the story of Mr. Bryan's Intention to migrate to Texas was not well founded, the more so that his renunciation of Texas left no yearning vacuum In Ne braska for Mr. Bailey to fill. An exchange of professors has been arranged among the universities of the chief natlona. Texas and the northwest might both gain by a shifting of experts In the interpretation of up-to-date Jeffei sonlanlsm. We favor the trial. St. I.ouls Globe-Pemoorat : As a presi dential aspirant Mr. Bryan Is wise In re maining In Nebraska. By moving to Texas he would take himself out of the list of nomination possibilities. In Nebraska he has won some prestige. He has made that state doubtful In national elections. While Nebraska has not as many electoral votes as Texas. It has a far better chance than Texas to name democratic candidates. In Penver In 1908 nobody asked or cared who Texas favored for the nomination. Nebraska's voice was dominant, and It promises to be decisive In 1912 also. LAW'S VKXATIorS DELAYS. Knbatantlal Ground for Criticism Made by Justice Brewer. New York Press. When Justim Brewer sticks to his old text of the laws delays he will not in vite such attacks as Senator Brown's. As a member of the tribunal which may b vitally concerned with the construction of Income tax laws the able Justice can af ford to leave the questions of legislation on this subject to congress and the people of the states. Nothing Is gained by his Intrusion upon the debate, whether he Is right or wrong In his views. We are glad, for this reason no less than for the sake of the cause of reform In our Judicial precedure. that In hla In terview at Milwaukee, Justice Brewer re turned to his mutton and condemned as outrageous the reversals of Judgments on technicalities when substantial Justice has been done. All the country agrees with him. too, that the farce, of prolonging the simple process of picking a Jury to many weeks is one of which an end ought to be made. Fortunately the president In hts tlme on the bench has seen and felt tha evils of this kind, and may be counted on to procure from congress some action which will set the states a good example. At the same time that Justice Brewer was denouncing the delays of the law In the I'nlted States, the lord chief Justice of England, sitting in Old Bailey, was showing us how much better the English deal with their criminals. The trial, conviction, and sentence to death of Dhlngra, assassin of Lieutenant Colonel Wylie. consumed altogether Just one hour. In this country it is doubtful If the Jury would have been Impaneled Inside of a week. The trial would go on for a month or two. and If the culprit went to the death chair In two or three years It would be because he lacked money to employ counsel skilled In the hairsplitting that brings our system Into contempt. FROM ti RAVE TO GAY. Lincoln Dries Its Tears and Lifts the Lid of Joy. Kansas City Star. The country can Just take it from Mr. Bryan to fall Into the vernacular that the democratic leader has no Intention of deserting Lincoln as his place of residence. In an Interview In Chicago Mr. Bryan put to rest the report that he was planning to make his home In Texas. Added to the convincing strength of this denial coming straight from Mr. Bryan nlmself, is what the politicians call the logic of the situation. The country was greatly surprised to read that Mr. Bryan contemplated the desertion of Nebraska for Texas, because there appeared no reason foy such a move. Mr. Bryan has become thoroughly Identified with Nebraska. In the minds of the people he "belongs" there, and politicians do not "pull up stakes" and leave a constituency such as Mr. Bryan has created for himself In that state without some potent reason which they are willing to share with the public. In a political way Texas holds no ad vantage for Mr. Bryan which he does not appear to enjoy in Nebraska. It Is doubt ful even if Texas with Its democratic ma jority always represented In the six figure column, 'm at heart In such close sympathy with the things Mr. Bryan stands for In public life as Nebraska with its very slight margin of votes between the two parties. The ease with which stories obtain circula latlon passes comprehension. The report of Mr. Bryan's Intention to desert Nebraska bore every Indication of absolute authen ticity. But for all that It laVkert plausi bility. Some way or other the country Juat knew that Bryan would never part com pany with Lincoln. Neb. not, at least, for anything lesa than a temporary residence, in an official way, down In Washington, D. C. Wbat'a Thief Head It. Philadelphia Record. The republicans of Nebraska are a good deal more progressive than their senators, Brown and Itiirkett. although these cannot be clanked with the tariff rtactiixiarles. as they have on seeial occasions displayed their hostility to the Aldrlch bill. But the Nebraska members of the house are the true representatives of their constituencies. Don't Worry Abool T. R. Minneapolis Journal. Ciood people, don't worry about Teddy. Me wasn't born to perish by the Jaws of any "wilde beeste" In an African Jungle, providence haa not confided to us. hut un less we are very much mistaken It haa several very good Jobe cut out for him here at h'ome, which he will tackle later. SALT SULPHUR WATER also the "Crystal Lithium" water from Kxcelblor Springs, Mo. In 6-galloo sealed Jugs. 5-gallon Jug Crystal Llthla Water. .$ o-gallon Jug Salt-Sulphur water S2.SWJ Buy at either store. We sell over 100 kinds mineral water. Sherman & McConnell Drug Go. Sixteenth and Do! Sta. Owl Drug Co. Sixteenth and Harney Sta. OLD 1 AH WORKLn IMF.H, Omaha Fake Makes London Ht I p aad Take omrihlna. New Yoik Post. General Allen, chief of the slunsl corps of the t'nlted States army, Is quottd as salng that a wild tale sent to the pi ess from Ixjndon aSout a wonderful Yankee Inventor at Fort Omaha, who has rroie,l our army with an electrical machine capa ble of defeating any enemy, Is "completely without foundation." He Is mlsiaken, though the news has a sound foundation In a sensational novel published a few years ago. Thla Is the time of year in which all the Ingenious and thrilling ro mances Which have passed by Just long enough to be forgotten, are turned Into newspaper fakes, most of them coming from abroad. It must constitute quite an extensive Industry. . In the present case the wonderful Yankee Invention consists of a powerful beam of electricity which tan ba projected at a hostile fleet, putting the apparatus out of action, and even exploding the magazine. It la a good yarn, but It would be better If It were fresher. LINES TO A LAUGH. "Does you husband write to you often?" "Twice a day." "Good gracious' I should think he'd use a little discretion." "No, he uses a mlmeogra ph." Cleveland Plain Dealer. "What will you give tne, sir. for this article for your paper on the relation of i in Mars to the solar system?'' I guess we can give you space rates. rianimore American. iieili- Mather-1 Just dote on Browning, don't you? Fair Hather-I don't mind browning as long aa It doesn't freckle Judge. "My doctor ordered a trip to Europe fot me." ' And you took It?" "No; he presented his bill and took a trlj to Europe himself." Boston Transcript. "The voice of envy Is sure to be pro voked by success," said the sensitive per son. "Don't let that worry you, son," an swered Grandpa Whetstone. "If you've Schools AND Colleges Foil Term of tire Mosher-Lampman Business College Begins September 1 Our course In 20th Century Bookkeeping and general business studies will fit you for a first-class business position. A course in Mosher Shorthand and Touch Typewriting will prepare you to hold the best stenographic positions in Nebraska. Thorough courses In Business. English and Special Penmanship. Plenty of good positions for graduates. Our teaching la not done by advanced students, but by the most exper ienced and skilled corps of Instructors In the west. Our little booklet, entitled "GUARANTEED STATEMENTS" la brimful of valuable Information regarding business education. You should get one right away. It contalna soma of the finest specimens of penmanship ever published. y Cut out this ad and mall It to us and we will send you "GUARANTEED STATEMENTS" free. If you do this at once we wilt credit your account with 11.00, payable to you in booka and stationery when vou enter our school. It will pay you to read this booklet before you decide what school to attend. Work lor Board rowne 1 1 For Young Women And Girls fjollege preparatory, academic and collegiate courses. Native French and Oer man teachers. Kxnerlenced instructors In music, all educated In Europe. Ex cellent advantages 1n Fine Arts. Thorough courses In domestic economy Sew ing. Cooking, etc. Well equipped gymnasium and outdoor sports under profes sional supervision. Illustrated year book sent on application. IVentworth Military Academy Oldest and Largest In Middle West. Government Supervision. Highest rating by War Department. Infantry, Artillery and Cavalry Drills. Courses of study prepare for Universities, Government Academies or for Business Life. Accredited by North Central Association of Schools and Colleges. Manual Training. Separata Department for Small Boys. For catalogue, address . Tha Secretary. Bog A. I.r ylnqton. Me. Hastings, Nebraska TWENTY-EIGHTH YEAR BEGINS SEPTEMBER 7 V a live: college for young men and women IK. o surra ey A place where manly boys are made with seml-mllKary discipline. Prepares Location healthful and building fire proof. Writs for Illustrated catalogue. HARRY N. RUSSELL, Head Master, Western Military Academy Up,W,,.,on Ideal location near St. Louis, s-lx modern buildings. Fira proof Barrack. Excep tionally strong academic and military departments. Highest accredited oollegs rela tione. Rated Clasa "A" by War Department Athletics encouraged. Waiting Hat annu ally. Immediate application advisable. COI AX.BXBT at. JACXaOB. - at. Bap. EVERY parent has ideals i in regard to the kind of training his boy should receive when he goes away to school. Racine College has a remark able record in the matter. Write for our little book "The right school for your boy." Wa send It and our catalogue free. Racine, Collftge Racine. Wis. Summer camp affiliated. - LINCOLN Business College Writ far in Ira Wok ans kaow vr roa abouia aauis lol huuara III' U Uacola. Noailosiu ktra. A workini aikoal tbat tarn, eat toe irmduatr. who aeorrvt ana uu Oic kif paviof Boaiuoat. WO uarnt loot year, wi ara coaMantlf alacinf oar fraaaaiea la tooa sarlnf Moanooi. I borough, prac tical. Ckojcc of courata. aeubltanel Msmm Uaoole Isaas Ool loss a Nona IWrMak atrl Usool. Hob. rrallv got the good" the vnl.-a of amy will unintentionally advettise em for )tt. -Washington ft sr. o" said the fussv old ba.-heior. "I'm not" aii advocate of boarding house social- !ri , Ml IttiO (1 ' . . . "What do you mean by boarding house so, lallsm?' ou. rled the ''' l'ri . it's the kind.'' explained the f o b t a . . auhbI i hani Bk I "thai gives evervnonv n,, -!- - t the piano." Chicago I'aily ews. Patience -Before she msrried that maj she thought he was the most graieful of "Tairlce-And is she disappointed In him' Patience-I lsappointed I Say. you Just ought to see him try to carve a cnlcKeni : Yonkcie Siatesman. rlSHlN". 1 went a flshin' one fine day I think twas in July Soft summer clouds wet sailing Across the blue, blue sky: The threatening pine grove bristled I pon i lie slope af It 'twould Ho! a Jerk a bite! I landed A great big piece of driftwood. I went to fish snoiher day. The sky nar scowling Mark: A cold rain wet my shoulders, A cold wind chilled my hack; The distant lightning quivered. The sudden thunder rolled; I fished the livelong day and eaugh A most tremendous cold I I went a flshin. sure I did One day not long ago The bluejays ecretimed above my head, The ssnd-plpers skimmed low; The whole wood chorus their refrain Were ready to begin Oh! A twlch. a Jerk! I wound my reel And lo a good-sled minnow. I went n flshin' oh. how blue The sky beyond the cliff. With a white cloud sailing on It Like to a fairy's skiff: The picture was reflected In the water at mv feet Oh! A hlte-a bite! my flesh the bait The fish? A big mosquito. I went a flshin'-found a fin Where pine deep shadows cast; 1 had a feelln' that fine day I'd catch s fish st last: I snled a belted kingfisher Close-watching on a stump. The hook got tangled In mv sleeve. Id raught a great Mg chump. -BAYOLL N K TRFLE. Address. MOSHER. LAMPMAN, 17TH AND FA R.NAM STREETS, OMAHA. NEB. It Oms h. Sebrmsh St. Rev. Arthur L.WIIllams.L. L. D. President of Trustees. KISS XAXSDBir, FKIHCirAI Certificate admits without ex amination to Wellealev Smith, Vassar, University of Chicago and high eastern institutions. jVI 111 (a ry Academy Into manly men. Horn. Ufa combined for all colleges and for business life. All athletics, and ail carefully gupervlsed. Kearney, Nebraska. wur boxooXi Information concerning tha ad vantages, rates, extent of cur riculum and other data about the beat schools imd colleges can ba ohtalned from tha Bobool aad Oollaga Xaforraatloa, Bnrm of The Omaha Bea. All Information absolutely fraa and Impartial. Catalogue of any particular school cheerfully fur nished upon requeat, Il'aii7f mm Ifift I 'I lalT'JkTal Ills' lalnoola, Msbraaka. A huh grtils tchael caaiMUe: troug (Acuity to4 srvptrlnf 'or (fit bw position. IdSftl lr.4tlns. No aloona In Llneoia. fall Opealol Sopt. 1. Wruo for booutlful o-li-fuo A4arou W. M Brjtnt. ft,, O IUML Lincoln. Not, GOOD POSITIONS AWAIT Oil GRADUATES J ATTEND Tabor College T'Jkbor, Iowa. York College Strong, First Clasa. Loweat Bates Collei-iate, Normal. Huslness. Musle, repression and Art 1 iepart menta Issues all gratl. s of state certlfl catea. Year opena September Hth. WM. B. BCBBLX.. rras., Tarfc, Be. ( T TT