4 TIIE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE: JULY 4, 1909. Tim Omaha Sunday Bes FOUNDED BT EDWAKO R08EWATER. VICTOR ROSE WATER, EDITOR. Fntered at Omaha poatoffloe aa oond clma matter. TERM" Or SUBSCRIPTION. Dally rV (without Sunday), on yr.. Dally Be and Sunday, on year ftUVERlD BT CARRIER. Darty Be (Inohidlng Sunday), per wee. IS Dally Be (without Sunday), per week.lOe Evening Be (wlthoat Sunday), per week c Evening Bm (with Sunday), par woe lfto Sunday Baa, On year..; i..,.W W Saturday Bee, ona year IM Addraaa all complaint of Irrerulerltle In delivery to City Circulation Dwutmenv OWCM. Omaha Th Be Building. South Omaha Twenty-fourth and N. Council Bluff 1 Scott Street Lincoln CM Utile Butldlnir. Chicago 1UI Marquette Building. . Nnr York Room UOl-UOi No. M Weat Thirty-third Street. Washington 7 Fourtxonth Street, N. W. CORRKSPONPENCB. Communlcatlona relating to new and dl torlal matter ahould be addressed: Omaha Bee, Editorial Department. REMITTANCES. Remit by draft, ezpreaa or poatal order, payable to The Bee Publishing Company. Only 2-cent etampe received in payment of mall account, Peraonal checks, except on Omaha or eaatern exchange, not accepted. STATEMENT Or CIRCULATION. State of Nebraska. Douglas County. ss : Oeorre B. Tchuck. treasurer of The Bee Publishing Company, being duly worn, says that the aotual number of full and complete copies of The Dally. Morn ing, Evening and Sunday Bee printed dur ing the month of June, 10, waa aa fol low: 1 41,370 IT 41.MO 41,380 18 41.060 413M It 41.W0 4 41,360 tO 40,000 0 41,690 II 41,700 M.800 33 41.870 7... 41,430 S3 41,330 3 41,340 34 41,780 t 41,330 38 44,340 10 41,660 88 41,830 11. ,' 41,830 37 40,030 It 43,040 OS 41,730 13 40,300 38 41,790 14 49,870 30 41,670 IB 41,940 18 41,840 Total.. 1,347,300 Returned Copies '. 8,330 Net Total 1,333,080 Dally Average 41,869 QEOROE B. TZ8CHUCK. Treaaurer. Subscribed In mv presence and aworn to before me this let day of July, 10. (Seal) M. P, WALKER, Notary Public. 9 a bee r I be r lenvlaa; the elty teas porarlly shoal have The Be mallet to the. Addre will he rhansed as oftea aa reejaeated. SIss! .Boom! Ah! Keep sane and play safe. It was Just 133 years ago that they did the daring which we celebrate. The cr.ar and the base ball umpire appear to be la the same class no body loves tuem. Cuba must be getting back to the Spanish Idea. A bill has been passed legalising cock fighting and the lottery measure is well on the way. The camping season is on In full blast and the man with a sure dande lion exterminator has gtven way to the man with a mosquito bite cure. The sugar trust prosecutions are very disappointing to the democrats, who have been clamoring loudly for them, but hoping they would not ma terialize. I Another Texas man has been drowned in a bathtub, but if those Texans will persevere they will in time learn how to use these modern-day ap pliances. President Uadley's doctrine of bay ing faith In humanity Is all right, but be careful, just the same, about loan ing a friend your umbrella for a few minutes on a rainy day. Mark Twain has abandoned the role of theatrical angel. Aa the project d not pay, be could see no humor In it. Mark Is displaying sense as well as nonsense In his old age. Just because the suffragettes are going to move their headquarters from Washington to New York the congress men are not at liberty to Imagine that they are to be Immune on that account. Alfred Qwynne Vanderbilt said, "I don't care what anyone aays," which is a more polished way of putting It, but tt means the same as the famous remark of his more brusque ancestor. It Is authoritatively announced that John D. Rockefeller has gone to Cleve land for the summer, but It la not stated whether he will try to arbitrate the differences between bis Cleveland pastor and his New York pastor. Former Sultan Abdul Ilamld haa given the government of Turkey an other check for 15,000,000. How nice It is to have a lemon Ilk that to squeeze whenever the treasury runs low. Count Zeppelin is the latest to de clare his Intention to reach the North Pole by means of a dirigible balloon. The count's previous achievements with dirigibles, however, give bis talk some sound. - Speaker Cannon has promised to sit on the house appropriation lid at the next session. With Taft, Cannon and Aldrlch located on the treasury cover It is a fair guess that it will take some thing of a pry to lift It. The excluslvely-for-women cars In the New York subway have been aban doned because the women refused to patronize them. No reason , for their refusal has been figured out, but In all probability it Is "because." The German kaiser has sworn to maintain peace, "with God's help." The fact that the kaiser recognises the need of assistance would lead to sus picion that the situation Is more seri ous than generally supposed. Lincoln and the Declaration. An army of Fourth of July orators will expound the Declaration of Inde pendence from many points of view, bt none of. t hern will approach the simple statement of the Immortal Lincoln, expressing his view of its meaning. In the speech delivered at Springfield, June 26, 1857. occasioned by the Dred Scott decision, Lincoln said: I think that the authors of that notable Instrument Intended to Inolude all men, but they did net Intend to declare all men equal In all reaped. They did not mean to aay all were equal In color, else. Intel lect, moral development or social eapaolly. They defined with tolerable dlatlnotnee In what respect they did consider all men cre ated equal equal with "certain Inalienable rights, among whloh are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." This they said, and this they meant They did not mean to assert the obvious untruth that all were then actually enjoying that equality, nor yet that they were about to confer It Im mediately upon them. In fact, they had ho power 'to oonfer such a boon. They meant simply to declare th right, so that the enforcement of It might follow as fast aa circumstance should permit. They meant to set up a standard maxim for free society, which should ba familiar to all. and revered by all; constantly looked to, constantly labored for, and even though never perfectly attained, constantly ap proximated, and thereby constantly spread ing and deepening it Influence and aug menting the happlneaa and value of life to all people of all color everywhere. Th assertion that "all men are created equal" was of no practloal use In effecting our separation from Oreat Britain, and it waa placed In th Declaration, not for that, but for future use. It authors meant It to be as, thank Ood, It is now proving Itself, a stum bling block to all those who In after time might seek to turn a free people back into the hateful path of despotism. They knew the proneness of prosperity to breed ty rants, and they meant when such should reappear In this fair land and commence their vocation they should find left for them at least one hard nut to crack. These words of Lincoln should help us to comprehend the meaning of the Declaration of Independence, whose signing is annually commemorated by our Fourth of July celebrations, and they will well repay reading and re reading by every one who enjoys the blessing of American liberty and the priceless privileges of our free institu tions. Responsibility. A recent colloquy In the United States senate, In which the' senator from Rhode Island asked the senator from Missouri for his authority for certain statements, elicited this re sponse: It Is rather an Impertinence on th part of the senator from Rhode Island to call my statement In question and ask me to furnish him the proofs. I assume respon sibility for my statement, not to the sena tor from Rhode Island, but to my constitu ent In Missouri. Here we have a new sidelight on senatorial courtesy, which has previ ously passed almost unnoticed. Ac cording to this code the only persons Interested In the truthfulness of a sen ator are his constituents at home, and if they do not see fit to complain It Is no one's else business. A senator may make a false statement, wilfully or accidentally, and It must go unchal lenged if his constituents have no fault to find with It . Truth la mighty and will prevail everywhere but In the United States senate. Military Training;. Accepting as settled the propositions that an 'effective army cannot be Im provised, and that under existing con ditions of world unrest an army may be needed at any time. Inquiry turns to how best to supply the possible want. Any plan that will provide the United States with a larger number of trained men at no greater expense than is borne for the support of the stand ing army Is entitled to consideration. Colonel Qlassford, who Is In oharge of the signal corps post at Fort Omaha, has a plan which be supports with arguments derived from his experience as a soldier and student of military problems. The chief difficulty that confronts the American nation in event of war is an Insufficient number of properly trained men. No one doubts the abil ity of the United States to put Into the field any number of men at the first call -to arms. But a very large per centage of these men are either raw recruits or only partially trained na tional guardsmen. Unfamiliar with camp routine, extensively Ignorant of the arms with which they are equipped and totally unprepared for the serious business of an army, these volunteers fall entirely short of the requirements of a modern army, and many months are needed to lick them into shape for real work. This has always been the experience of the American people In the wars they have fought, and the victory that has come to American arms has been purchased at a tremen dous cost in life that might have been avoided If the volunteers had been properly fitted for the duties of a sol dier. And nowadays warfare Is pro jected, if at all, on a scale so widely different from any In which American soldiers have ever been engaged that the volunteers would be helpless at the outset. No manufacturer would think of in stalling raw and unskilled workmen in his shops, entrusting to their awk wards hands the care of delicate ma chinery, and expect finished product from them. Yet this In effect Is what the American people has come to ex pect of Its army. Men unused to fire arms, even, are expected to give over life in comfortable homes for existence on the tented field, to take hold of the complicated machinery with which an up-to-date army Is outfitted and pro duce finished work. It was this Indif ference to proper preparation that warranted the military experts of Eu rope In predicting success for the Spaniards In 1891. and It is similar In difference that leaves the nation con tinually liable to tremendous unneces sary loss of life In case a war should arise. A big man may gain respect far his else, but he ought also to be familiar with the rudiments at least of the science of self-defense If he wants to be certain of sucoess In case he Is suddenly attacked; and else does not carry with It Immunity from attack. Colonel Qlassford proposes a plan that has the attraction at least of prac ticability. It will not increase the size or expense of the army, but It will In crease Its effectiveness by returning each year to civil life a number of highly trained men, each capable of serving at a maximum of efficiency when called upon. Each of these men would become a more or less active agent In his Immediate circle for the propagation of military knowledge, and thus, without In any way adding to the mlliunt spirit of the people, creates a much better condition, be cause of the extension of military preparedness, which, after all, Is the basis for the maintenance of a stand ing army. Political Assassination!. Great Britain Is wrought up over the assassination of a high Indian office employe by a fanatical Parsee, and well It may be. While other European nations, and even the United States, have been the theater for such crimes, Great Britain has been long Immune. India Itself has witnessed several such outbreaks, but this Is the first time In recent years that the propaganda of violence has been car ried home to England In spite of the fact that It has furnished a refuge for foreign agitators. Whether the deed is the Impulse of one man or a part of a general plan Is what most concerns Great Britain. If the former, there Is no more cause for alarm than over any other violent crime, but If the latter there would be no telling where the next blow will fall. Great Britain contains a large number of East Indians and there Is no denying there Is great dissatisfac tion with British rule In their coun try. The character of the Hindoo makes him ' particularly dangerous should he once decide upon such a campaign. He Is fanatical to a de gree and utterly Indifferent to his per sonal fate. Such conspirators would be dangerous at all times and par ticularly when urged on by a con sistent propaganda. The Sepoy re bellion recalls the terrible lengths to which he Is capable of going, and If the East Indians have really started on a terrorist campaign It Is likely to be a nerve-racking affair. So far, for tunately, there is no evidence to show that the London episode Is more than an Individual act and all will hope that proves to be the case. An Important Legal Decision. The decree of the Iowa supreme court that lake beds and the beds of non-navigable rivers belong to the state constitutes a decision destined to have a far-reaching effect on drain age projects. While the decision Is binding In no state except Iowa, the precedent set Is likely to be followed in other states where drainage pro jects are undertaken. Northern Iowa, particularly, contains a large number of shallow lakes which can be drained and converted Into agricultural land at comparatively small outlay, and the tendency to do so has led to much litigation to preserve lakes which the common good demands should be re tained. Whatever other effects the law has, It will tend to stop the drain age of real lakes, since the direct financial benefit is not so likely to tempt the state as It would a private Individual. In rendering this decision the Iowa supreme court has also undoubtedly cut 'out for Itself much litigation In the future determining titles to lake beds already drained and defining what constitutes a lake within the meaning of the law. The Iowa court Is used to that, however, as the cases will be legitimate successors to the prolonged swamp land disputes. Cutting- a Sis; Melon. The commodities clause decision by the United States supreme court has forced the cutting of the richest melon ever carved for the stockholders of an American railroad. Of the so called coal roads, the Lackawanna held Its coal lands directly and operated the mines. Because the su preme court held this illegal, the forced disposition of this property will bring the stockholders a dividend of 160 per cent. This amount, of course, does ' not represent current earnings, but Is the accumulation of years, in addition to the regular dividends. Incidentally the Lackawanna is re garded as a model of railroad financier ing and stands In a class by Itself. Its total stock Issue is only $31,000, 000 and It has no bonded indebted ness, the last of Its bonds having re cently been retired. In addition to the coal property It has $32,000,000 cash and quick assets and no debts of any kind except bills in course of cur rent business. It shows what honest capitalization will do for a railroad. Its rates necessarily are the same as those of other roads operating in the same territory and yet its regular div idends are 20 per cent, one-fifth of which has come from the coal com panies. In addition to this large div idend and the distribution of the coal company assets there Is more than enough cash In the treasury to pay an additional 100 per cent dividend on the stock should the directors desire to do so. There Is room for doubt that the forced separation of the railroad from direct participation in the coal busi ness will materially benefit the public, insofar as prices to consumer goes, be cause the coal properties will doubt lees continue to be operated as before, but under another corporate name. It does afford an object lesson, however, of the enormous profits the coal com bine has drawn from the public by controlling both production and trans portation of tie product. Dearth of Touts; Ministers. Protestant church organisations complain of a scarcity of candidates for the ministry. In the United 8tates it Is estimated that while 3,500 re cruits are required each year to supply the demand for extension of service and retirements, the seminaries will graduate only 3,000 this year. The same condition has prevailed for some time past, although in the various col leges Interest In religious work and bible class attendance has increased. Increasing facilities are being provided and more scholarships founded for ed ucating men for the ministry, but even this does not seem to remedy the evils complained of As one reason, It Is suggested that to apply the monetary standard to re ligious endeavor Is not idealistic, but It applies Itself just the same. The minister owes the same duty to his family that other men do and the min isterial profession does not as a rule afford the means to meet It. The city pulpits, especially In larger churches, pay good salaries, but the great mass of ministers live and always will serve pulpits In small towns and In outside suburban or rural districts. The com pensation of these men Is often piti fully small In proportion , to the de mands upon them and their position in the community lacking In that In dependence which la essential to self respect. It requires either courage of a high type or optimism unbounded to choose deliberately the ministry as a life work, and that accounts for the fewness of those graduating from theological seminaries as compared with the multitudes turned out by other professional schools. Harmful, Though. Groundless, Official investigation of charges made by former Inspector Harms of East St. Louis against the meat In spection service there has resulted In a clean bill for the Inspectors and a sweeping refutation of the charges. The government cannot afford to Ignore such charges, because ineffi cient inspection strikes at the health fulneBs of the nation's food supply, but such fictitious disclosures are cal culated to do an Irreparable Injury to a great industry. , . Prejudice against American meats Ib assiduously cultivated by producers in Europe. Every such charge Is seized upon and worked to the limit to increase the distrust and to secure further restrictive legislation against the Imports from America. Meat and meat products are one of the largest items of our exports and anything which curtails the market for them re acts directly not only upon the big packing concerns,, but upon the pro ducer. The sensation-seeker is, therefore, particularly reprehensible when he wilfully misrepresents conditions in the packing houses for the sake of notoriety or revenge. Former In spector Harms Is characterized In the report as a disgruntled employe, but In striking at the Inspection service he has doubtless worked great Injury to the foreign trade of the packers, though the domestic business has doubtless not been seriously affected. Jeffersonian Simplicity in Georgia. Governor Joe Brown of Georgia has evidently started in to rival a former noted chief executive of Indiana. Gov ernor Brown has adopted blue jeans ss the sartorial standard and has ban ished the Ice cooler from the executive office. In its stead he has recurred to the old-fashioned water bucket and the gourd dipper. Governor Brown Is new yet and what other peculiarities he will develop during his term Is un certain, but it would not be strange to see a well digger at work on the state house grounds any day and the old oaken bucket, with Its moss-covered brim, supplanting the' hydrant. If it is Governor Brown's purpose In all things to revert to Jeffersonian simplicity, the news correspondents have been woefully remiss is furnish ing detailed information. They failed to tell us whether the governor wore knit gallusses, cowhide boots and a straw hat gone to seed. They also failed to record whether the executive bedchamber was equipped with a husk mattress and an old roped bedstead and such other luxuries as our fore fathers used to enjoy. In the absence of detailed information on these points we refrain from passing judgment whether Georgia's governor is the real brand of Jeffersonian simplicity. Mr. Carnegie la going to write a maga xina story and tell us how much he Bpent for libraries, and how It made him feel to spend It. He should follow up this story by another one confessing just how he made It. Mr. Bryan's Commoner. Yes, and include in the story how Mr. Bryan successfully solicited the money for the Carnegie library at Lin coln and rushed Into the newspapers to make sure that no one else should have the credit for standing In so closely with Mr. Carnegie. Mr. Bryan's Commoner is in favor of an amendment to the federal con stitution to permit the levying of in come taxes in the future. It is also In favor of Imposing an Income tax law Immediately, and likewise in favor of the proposed tax on corporation in comes. -It wants all three income tax measures If it can only get them, and if it cannot get all three It will take any one of them. Anything that looks like an Income tax looks good to Mr. Bryan. The senate Is in a quandary over which of two busts of Roosevelt to ac cept. One represents him In thought ful repose and the other In a strenuous pose. Before passing judgment they should try to find someone who can vouch that the pose of thoughtful re pose Is really true to life. The sultan of Morocco Is certainly a brave man. When he could not de feat the forces of the pretender to the throne he took the pretender's mother out and had her publicly whipped. That must have made her presumptu ous son feel hurt. According to press report, the suf fragette convention at Seattle admitted the Spokane delegates without giving them the right to vote In the conven tion. A mere man Is led to Inquire where the equal suffrage principle comes In. Sir Thomas Llpton is again talking of challenging for the America's cup. Like the case of the bull who fought the locomotive, people cannot help ad miring Sir Thomas' courage, even if they cannot praise his discretion. Comparative llapplneea. Cleveland Plain Dealer. It In estimated that 200.000 Americans will buy autos during the coming year. But that Is not a circumstance to the number who will continue to ride on street car and be happy. Bullions In Snnahlne. Philadelphia Press. Don't make yourself hotter by complain ing about the weather. Everv riav nf It adds $1,000,000 at ltfaFt to the value of the corn crop. Prosperity for the farmer means prosperity for the whole country. Let It slixle! Sculptor of tbe Lincoln Statue. Springfield Republican. One of the most Interesting art matters of the day Is that Daniel Chester French Is to do the Abraham Lincoln statue for the Nebraska state house grounds at Lin coln. Mr. French thus succeed, with just credit, to the honor of St. Oaudens, as Ellsha to the mantle of Elijah. Coat of Armed Peace. Philadelphia Record. There probably has never been In the past history of civilized nations such amailng expenditure in the preparation for war. Yet there Is no war in sight. Th tremendous drain upon the resources of the powers may soon reach a point where armed peace is more costly than actual fighting. The pretext of arming to koep th peace may break down of Its own weight, brlngln on war as the lesser evil. smoke: damage. Calculation of Losaea Well Up In Nine figures. Philadelphia Ledger. An expert of the geological survey ha made the estimate that the damage Inflicted by smoke In the United States every year amount to more than $900,000,000 In the destruction of merchandise, th Injury of buildings and exposed metals, th damage don to plant and animal Ufa, and in the greatly increased cost of housekeeping. Whether this enormous sum includes th direct waste of fuel Involved in the produc tion of the smoke which In turn pollutes the air and become such a deadly menace to the health and live of the thousands and ten of thousands compelled to breathe It, dot, not appear. It la certain, however, that If those who are responsible could once ba made to realise what this loss and wast amount to, there would be Instant effort to secure a reform. Unfortunately the greater loss fall on others, it I o widely disseminated. that It Is easy to shift the responsibility, and so th crime goea on. MOVING PICTURE, OF WOE!. Heartrending; Fate of Colonel Bry an' Prlae Jukass, New York Sun. It Is not necessary to recall to the en lightened political economist of thl nation how important was the part played In the last national campaign by the Jackass given to Hon. William Jennings Bryan of Lincoln, Keo., by the Minnesota state fair. It is fresh In mind that th Jaok was welcomed at Falrvlew with enthusiasm and gratitude; that a valorous newspaper correspondent undertook to ride It; that this, man was thrown lnglortouBly by the symbolical rep resentative of democracy; that Colonel Bryan, eager to compliment the bestower of the gift, Immortalise the name of the gentlemen whose bravery waa tested on Its back, and to describe properly the function of the beast, named It Major Mlnnamascot; and that In a moment of prodigal gener osity or enlightened elf-lnteret the colonel offered to give It to the voting precinct which showed the largest percentsge of gain In democratic ballot cast at the election. Major Mlnnamascot became an Institu tion, a totem. Photographs of the patient beast, articles about it, allusions to It deco rated and embroidered the newspapers. Then came the election, and Interest In Colonel Bryan abated to an alarming ex tent. We recollect vaguely that Malor Mlnnamascot'a name appeared In conjunc tion with that of soma unhappy constitu ency In the west. The jackass was "good stuff before election. After the fatal day In November it ceased to attract. How completely this once petted and pampered companion of greatnesa, this dweller In the warming rays of the spot light, fell from public esteem and luxury wa confess we had not known, nor had we cared, until a friend sent to us yes terday the subjoined extract from the Oold field Tribune of June 23: 'The glory of the democratic mule has been eclipsed and the major from Bryan's farm has descended to the flrld of useful ness by dragging a beer wagon around Goldfield. This Is hard on prohibition In Nebraska, but harder on the mule, which had grown accustomed to a life of ease." Thus Major Mlnnamascot, stripped of the greater portion of the name so painstak ingly bestowed the "Minn" for Minnesota. the "a for agriculture, the "maecot" for description is reduced to the prosaic and humble task of "dragging a beer wagon" through a mining town, getting none of the beer either. The frolics at Falrvlew, the attentiona of the great, the caresses of the thoughtful and talkative and mighty of the land, are exchanged for the strong and bitter words of the brewery driver and the stinging blows of a whip wielded by a base minion of the eorporationists. The plvaam days of dreaming and of rest are past; the harsh realities of life oppress Major Mlnna mascot. ' It Is a sad fall, a heartbreaking revela tion of the Inequalities of life among Jackasses. And Colonel Bryan, while his former companion, Insplrer and confidant wearily draws the beer wagon In the Nevada mining town, preaches prohibition from th platform of Nebraska and look forward longingly and lovingly to Novem ber, ilX Vacata Time Is your house furniture insured against loss by Fire, Lightning, Windstorm, Burglars and Thieves while you are away on your vacation trip? We issue policies of insurance cov ering against all such losses. The Hartford Fire Insurance Co. publishes an interesting book on fire prevention and fire insurance. We will send it to you on request. We have money to loan on city real estate. . B. L BALDWIN & CO., General Insurance Agents, 1221 Famam Street. Phone Dougles 271. SERMONS B0I1ED BOWS. Gifts to Ood can never make up for thefts from men. He who honestly seek to save another find himself. Ha never ha a message who does not know how to listen. Lying lips are none the better for work ing In a prayer meeting. Tou will not be able to rest in heaven If you practice resting hero. Tha wastes of lova bring greater rlche than th wisdom of greed. A man' soul 1 to be measured by his sense of the souls of others. No duties are better, done than those wa do without thinking of duty. Where every one haa an ax to grind there will be little hewing to the line. No advantage 1 smaller than that gained by taking advantage of a friend. The man who always doe what he wants I rarely wanted for what he does. Tou cannot become one of the tool of the Infinite if you flee from his anvil. The best evidence of loyalty to truth Is lberality enough to give all truth a chance. It's no use talking about tha peace of God If your Ufa 1 a provocation to your neighbor. One trouble with the habitually crooked man Is that ha never know which way he Is turning. Chicago Tribune. SECULAR SHOTS AT THE PULPIT Boston Transcript: Just aa the discussion of his stricture on American college be come heated Bishop McFaul come to th relief of the situation with th assertion that he haa been misquoted. Chicago Record-Herald t Vollva, who da posed Dowie, is said to ba out, but still fighting. For a city that waa founded to hat ten tha advent of peace on earth, etc., Zlon doesn't seem to have been conspicu ously successful. Washington Post: A leading Indianapolis minister 1 preaching against oard playing by women, and call it "an appalling waste of time." It will dawn on him after a while that h is one who I wasting time. Card playing among women haa come to stay. St. Louis Globe-Democrat: Tt Is a Mis souri preacher who is Just now retiring from a ministry of half a century in which he never received a cent of pay in cash. Such men have saved Missouri from the worst effects of Bourbonlsm. even while many of them were voting for Bourbonlsm. Philadelphia Record: The pope In refus ing to ride In tha new automobile s.nt him by American Catholic gave as a reason for hi abstention that he wa setting a good example to cardinals. H had, how ever a still better reason. HI journeying 1 confined within the limit of th Vati can. The chlefest value of th automobile 1 In Its extension of the area of swift and comfortable movement. PERSONAL AND OTHERWISE. Chicago piled up a total of J, S0 June bride without drawing upon the overflow hitched at St. Joe. Diligent reading of the Congressional Record Is warranted to "put asleep th liveliest member of the Ginger club. Reports of the fighting of London suf fragettes tends to discredit the assertion that Englishmen seek American heiresses for their money. Foreign doctor give mystic names to Mr. Harrlman's ailment, but the probabili ties are some indigestible securities got stuck In his system. The marine engineers who refused hon orary membership to Noah and flouted his ability as a navigator, grudgingly admitted that he knew when to get In out of a rain. General Prosperity pulled off a rare stunt in Maiden Lane, New York, last week. An expert Jeweler paid $6,100 for forty-four pounds of brass filings represented as gold. Corn making and perspiration are links in tha chain of prosperity. They thrive in unison. If perspiration annoys, consider th farmer and hi chuckles, and be happy. Viewing on the local score board the suc cession of defeats, the saddened fan turned away and mutilated a few bar of the melody, "I Don't Car It They Never Come Back." An incom of IS, 000 a month help to prove that a matrimonial investment wisely made, beat a stage career to a frazzle. It' different for the fellow who foots the bill. Somewhere over 8,000 Manhattan police men who have felt the pressure of General Bingham's leather, will chortle merrily at the general's flight over the transom. Ther always la enough sugar In revenge to soothe an aching cuticle. The cruel war on Crazy Snake has been transferred from the haunts of the r-dnkln to the Oklahoma treasury. The gallant colonels of Governor Haskell's staff actually Insist on pay for tha spring excur sion Into the bad lands. But an empty treasury mocks their demands. A chauffeur, testifying as a character wit ness In a Philadelphia court, described hla mistress as "a perfect lady," adding by way of proof that ah can "swear fluently In three language," but "her best work, of course, I done In English. " The Philadel phia Idea of what constitutes "a perfect lady" contribute a mite to the knowledge of th world. A Man nlta a Hccord. Buffalo Expresa. Secretary of Agriculture James Wilson Is an Inspiration to old men. H has served under three presidents, and all of them faithfully; but the remarkable fact is he mad hla enviable reputation after hla COth birthday. DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES. "According to Dr. Eliot, marriage i tha best occupation for women." "That'a all right, but what' to ba done for those who can't gat Job?" Cleveland Plain Dealer. "It would never do to give women votes. Just think what Would happen than when It made women eligible to Jury duty!" "What would happen?" "They might get husband and wives on the same jury, and then they would be aur to disagree." Baltimore American. Th angel wa making up th list. "I never asked my fellow man If It wa hot enough for him." remarked Abou Ben Adhem. And lo, his name cam In under tha wire first New York Sun. Pearl Jack is the biggest goose I ever saw in rev life. Ruby What now, dear? Pearl Why, my chaperon lost her glass last night when we were making love and he actually helped to find them for her. Chicago New. "I see where soma college professor I writing about "Th Women Men Marry.' " "Yes; J va read it." "Do you agree with hi conclusions? What women do you think men generally marry?" "Their wives." Baltimore American. "Who' that a-hollerln, down yander in tha branch?" "That's the prodigal son. Th old man's a-whalln' thunder out o' him fer runnln' away." Atlanta Constitution. THE HOI WAVE DILEMMA, Baltimore American. To growl or not to. growll that' th question. Whetner 'tis better for a man to suffer Thj roast and broiling of outrageous weather, Or to cut loose and relieve hla feelings In torrid lines of talkl To talk and talk! And talk again! Ay, there' tha rubj For every on to whom oat talis hla anger, HI real, unbiased Idea of tha weather, Wants to talk, too. and tU to the last minute What he la thinking 'bout tt. There's th respeot Which makes calamity of toe much griev ances. It Is a Jolt to find that other alio Share in this grievano Just as much as we do. For still we feel that no on evwir suf fered To half the dire and hard extent that w do. But to the point. Is't batter to be silent. Join a "Don't Worry" Club, or Mental Science. And strive to think w Just imagine It la sultry, Until th effort to keep quiet sets us crasy. Or all the sizzling force of heated, pent up feeling Explodes with dire destruction of our patience; Or fuss and fume and loudly raise our voices In protest 'gainst tha weather man, th zodiac. The mercury, the office work, th house flies, Th gay mosquitoes and the early milk man. And whatever else we find about us, To vent our wrath on and indulge bad temper? Which process help to make us feel th cooler, Or whloh more fire our blood with heated flowing? It Is a problem to take up and ponder When In a hammock In a breezy corner. With collar off, a stack nigh of big palm leafs. A glass of icy liquid with a atlck within it. And other such first aid to solemn thought, As give us pause! OCCASIONALLY TOU MXAX TOO O&ASHI. Tou need them ail the time. 'Bring the pieces to us. We will duplicate the broken lens, no matter where the glaxs came from. We can mak th new lens vxactly Ilk the old, with only the old pieces to go by. Many times the work can be don while you wait. But you can always have them the same day. Thl I a point worth remembering if you wear glasaes. Ilulcson Optical Co., 113 S. 16TH ST., OMAHA. Factory on the premises. SALT SULPHUR WATER also the "Crystal Lithium" water from Excel.ior Springs, Mo., in (-gallon sealed juga. 6-gallon Jug Crystal Llthta Water. .92 6-gallon Jug Salt-Sulphur water $3.23 Buy at either store. We sell over 100 kinds mineral water. Sherman &, McConnell Drug Go. Sixteenth and Dodge Stu Owl Drug Co. Sixteenth and Harney St