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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (July 4, 1909)
TIIE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE: JULY 4, 1909.
Tim Omaha Sunday Bes
FOUNDED BT EDWAKO R08EWATER.
VICTOR ROSE WATER, EDITOR.
Fntered at Omaha poatoffloe aa oond
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STATEMENT Or CIRCULATION.
State of Nebraska. Douglas County. ss :
Oeorre B. Tchuck. treasurer of The
Bee Publishing Company, being duly
worn, says that the aotual number of full
and complete copies of The Dally. Morn
ing, Evening and Sunday Bee printed dur
ing the month of June, 10, waa aa fol
low: 1 41,370 IT 41.MO
41,380 18 41.060
413M It 41.W0
4 41,360 tO 40,000
0 41,690 II 41,700
M.800 33 41.870
7... 41,430 S3 41,330
3 41,340 34 41,780
t 41,330 38 44,340
10 41,660 88 41,830
11. ,' 41,830 37 40,030
It 43,040 OS 41,730
13 40,300 38 41,790
14 49,870 30 41,670
18 41,840 Total.. 1,347,300
Returned Copies '. 8,330
Net Total 1,333,080
Dally Average 41,869
QEOROE B. TZ8CHUCK.
Subscribed In mv presence and aworn
to before me this let day of July, 10.
(Seal) M. P, WALKER,
9 a bee r I be r lenvlaa; the elty teas
porarlly shoal have The Be
mallet to the. Addre will he
rhansed as oftea aa reejaeated.
SIss! .Boom! Ah!
Keep sane and play safe.
It was Just 133 years ago that they
did the daring which we celebrate.
The cr.ar and the base ball umpire
appear to be la the same class no
body loves tuem.
Cuba must be getting back to the
Spanish Idea. A bill has been passed
legalising cock fighting and the lottery
measure is well on the way.
The camping season is on In full
blast and the man with a sure dande
lion exterminator has gtven way to the
man with a mosquito bite cure.
The sugar trust prosecutions are
very disappointing to the democrats,
who have been clamoring loudly for
them, but hoping they would not ma
Another Texas man has been
drowned in a bathtub, but if those
Texans will persevere they will in time
learn how to use these modern-day ap
pliances. President Uadley's doctrine of bay
ing faith In humanity Is all right, but
be careful, just the same, about loan
ing a friend your umbrella for a few
minutes on a rainy day.
Mark Twain has abandoned the role
of theatrical angel. Aa the project
d not pay, be could see no humor In
it. Mark Is displaying sense as well
as nonsense In his old age.
Just because the suffragettes are
going to move their headquarters from
Washington to New York the congress
men are not at liberty to Imagine that
they are to be Immune on that account.
Alfred Qwynne Vanderbilt said, "I
don't care what anyone aays," which
is a more polished way of putting It,
but tt means the same as the famous
remark of his more brusque ancestor.
It Is authoritatively announced that
John D. Rockefeller has gone to Cleve
land for the summer, but It la not
stated whether he will try to arbitrate
the differences between bis Cleveland
pastor and his New York pastor.
Former Sultan Abdul Ilamld haa
given the government of Turkey an
other check for 15,000,000. How nice
It is to have a lemon Ilk that to
squeeze whenever the treasury runs
Count Zeppelin is the latest to de
clare his Intention to reach the North
Pole by means of a dirigible balloon.
The count's previous achievements
with dirigibles, however, give bis talk
- Speaker Cannon has promised to sit
on the house appropriation lid at the
next session. With Taft, Cannon and
Aldrlch located on the treasury cover
It is a fair guess that it will take some
thing of a pry to lift It.
The excluslvely-for-women cars In
the New York subway have been aban
doned because the women refused to
patronize them. No reason , for their
refusal has been figured out, but In all
probability it Is "because."
The German kaiser has sworn to
maintain peace, "with God's help."
The fact that the kaiser recognises the
need of assistance would lead to sus
picion that the situation Is more seri
ous than generally supposed.
Lincoln and the Declaration.
An army of Fourth of July orators
will expound the Declaration of Inde
pendence from many points of view,
bt none of. t hern will approach the
simple statement of the Immortal
Lincoln, expressing his view of its
meaning. In the speech delivered at
Springfield, June 26, 1857. occasioned
by the Dred Scott decision, Lincoln
I think that the authors of that notable
Instrument Intended to Inolude all men, but
they did net Intend to declare all men
equal In all reaped. They did not mean
to aay all were equal In color, else. Intel
lect, moral development or social eapaolly.
They defined with tolerable dlatlnotnee In
what respect they did consider all men cre
ated equal equal with "certain Inalienable
rights, among whloh are life, liberty and
the pursuit of happiness." This they said,
and this they meant They did not mean
to assert the obvious untruth that all were
then actually enjoying that equality, nor
yet that they were about to confer It Im
mediately upon them. In fact, they had
ho power 'to oonfer such a boon. They
meant simply to declare th right, so that
the enforcement of It might follow as fast
aa circumstance should permit. They
meant to set up a standard maxim for free
society, which should ba familiar to all.
and revered by all; constantly looked to,
constantly labored for, and even though
never perfectly attained, constantly ap
proximated, and thereby constantly spread
ing and deepening it Influence and aug
menting the happlneaa and value of life to
all people of all color everywhere. Th
assertion that "all men are created equal"
was of no practloal use In effecting our
separation from Oreat Britain, and it waa
placed In th Declaration, not for that, but
for future use. It authors meant It to be as,
thank Ood, It is now proving Itself, a stum
bling block to all those who In after time
might seek to turn a free people back into
the hateful path of despotism. They knew
the proneness of prosperity to breed ty
rants, and they meant when such should
reappear In this fair land and commence
their vocation they should find left for
them at least one hard nut to crack.
These words of Lincoln should help
us to comprehend the meaning of the
Declaration of Independence, whose
signing is annually commemorated by
our Fourth of July celebrations, and
they will well repay reading and re
reading by every one who enjoys the
blessing of American liberty and the
priceless privileges of our free institu
A recent colloquy In the United
States senate, In which the' senator
from Rhode Island asked the senator
from Missouri for his authority for
certain statements, elicited this re
sponse: It Is rather an Impertinence on th part
of the senator from Rhode Island to call
my statement In question and ask me to
furnish him the proofs. I assume respon
sibility for my statement, not to the sena
tor from Rhode Island, but to my constitu
ent In Missouri.
Here we have a new sidelight on
senatorial courtesy, which has previ
ously passed almost unnoticed. Ac
cording to this code the only persons
Interested In the truthfulness of a sen
ator are his constituents at home, and
if they do not see fit to complain It Is
no one's else business. A senator
may make a false statement, wilfully
or accidentally, and It must go unchal
lenged if his constituents have no fault
to find with It
. Truth la mighty and will prevail
everywhere but In the United States
Accepting as settled the propositions
that an 'effective army cannot be Im
provised, and that under existing con
ditions of world unrest an army may
be needed at any time. Inquiry turns
to how best to supply the possible
want. Any plan that will provide the
United States with a larger number of
trained men at no greater expense than
is borne for the support of the stand
ing army Is entitled to consideration.
Colonel Qlassford, who Is In oharge of
the signal corps post at Fort Omaha,
has a plan which be supports with
arguments derived from his experience
as a soldier and student of military
The chief difficulty that confronts
the American nation in event of war
is an Insufficient number of properly
trained men. No one doubts the abil
ity of the United States to put Into the
field any number of men at the first
call -to arms. But a very large per
centage of these men are either raw
recruits or only partially trained na
tional guardsmen. Unfamiliar with
camp routine, extensively Ignorant of
the arms with which they are equipped
and totally unprepared for the serious
business of an army, these volunteers
fall entirely short of the requirements
of a modern army, and many months
are needed to lick them into shape for
real work. This has always been the
experience of the American people In
the wars they have fought, and the
victory that has come to American
arms has been purchased at a tremen
dous cost in life that might have been
avoided If the volunteers had been
properly fitted for the duties of a sol
dier. And nowadays warfare Is pro
jected, if at all, on a scale so widely
different from any In which American
soldiers have ever been engaged that
the volunteers would be helpless at the
No manufacturer would think of in
stalling raw and unskilled workmen
in his shops, entrusting to their awk
wards hands the care of delicate ma
chinery, and expect finished product
from them. Yet this In effect Is what
the American people has come to ex
pect of Its army. Men unused to fire
arms, even, are expected to give over
life in comfortable homes for existence
on the tented field, to take hold of the
complicated machinery with which an
up-to-date army Is outfitted and pro
duce finished work. It was this Indif
ference to proper preparation that
warranted the military experts of Eu
rope In predicting success for the
Spaniards In 1891. and It is similar In
difference that leaves the nation con
tinually liable to tremendous unneces
sary loss of life In case a war should
arise. A big man may gain respect
far his else, but he ought also to be
familiar with the rudiments at least of
the science of self-defense If he wants
to be certain of sucoess In case he Is
suddenly attacked; and else does not
carry with It Immunity from attack.
Colonel Qlassford proposes a plan
that has the attraction at least of prac
ticability. It will not increase the size
or expense of the army, but It will In
crease Its effectiveness by returning
each year to civil life a number of
highly trained men, each capable of
serving at a maximum of efficiency
when called upon. Each of these men
would become a more or less active
agent In his Immediate circle for the
propagation of military knowledge,
and thus, without In any way adding
to the mlliunt spirit of the people,
creates a much better condition, be
cause of the extension of military
preparedness, which, after all, Is the
basis for the maintenance of a stand
Great Britain Is wrought up over
the assassination of a high Indian
office employe by a fanatical Parsee,
and well It may be. While other
European nations, and even the United
States, have been the theater for such
crimes, Great Britain has been long
Immune. India Itself has witnessed
several such outbreaks, but this Is the
first time In recent years that the
propaganda of violence has been car
ried home to England In spite of the
fact that It has furnished a refuge for
Whether the deed is the Impulse of
one man or a part of a general plan
Is what most concerns Great Britain.
If the former, there Is no more cause
for alarm than over any other violent
crime, but If the latter there would be
no telling where the next blow will
fall. Great Britain contains a large
number of East Indians and there Is
no denying there Is great dissatisfac
tion with British rule In their coun
try. The character of the Hindoo
makes him ' particularly dangerous
should he once decide upon such a
campaign. He Is fanatical to a de
gree and utterly Indifferent to his per
sonal fate. Such conspirators would
be dangerous at all times and par
ticularly when urged on by a con
sistent propaganda. The Sepoy re
bellion recalls the terrible lengths to
which he Is capable of going, and If
the East Indians have really started
on a terrorist campaign It Is likely to
be a nerve-racking affair. So far, for
tunately, there is no evidence to show
that the London episode Is more than
an Individual act and all will hope
that proves to be the case.
An Important Legal Decision.
The decree of the Iowa supreme
court that lake beds and the beds of
non-navigable rivers belong to the
state constitutes a decision destined
to have a far-reaching effect on drain
age projects. While the decision Is
binding In no state except Iowa, the
precedent set Is likely to be followed
in other states where drainage pro
jects are undertaken. Northern Iowa,
particularly, contains a large number
of shallow lakes which can be drained
and converted Into agricultural land
at comparatively small outlay, and the
tendency to do so has led to much
litigation to preserve lakes which the
common good demands should be re
tained. Whatever other effects the
law has, It will tend to stop the drain
age of real lakes, since the direct
financial benefit is not so likely to
tempt the state as It would a private
In rendering this decision the Iowa
supreme court has also undoubtedly
cut 'out for Itself much litigation In
the future determining titles to lake
beds already drained and defining
what constitutes a lake within the
meaning of the law. The Iowa court
Is used to that, however, as the cases
will be legitimate successors to the
prolonged swamp land disputes.
Cutting- a Sis; Melon.
The commodities clause decision by
the United States supreme court has
forced the cutting of the richest melon
ever carved for the stockholders of
an American railroad. Of the so
called coal roads, the Lackawanna
held Its coal lands directly and
operated the mines. Because the su
preme court held this illegal, the
forced disposition of this property will
bring the stockholders a dividend of
160 per cent. This amount, of course,
does ' not represent current earnings,
but Is the accumulation of years, in
addition to the regular dividends.
Incidentally the Lackawanna is re
garded as a model of railroad financier
ing and stands In a class by Itself.
Its total stock Issue is only $31,000,
000 and It has no bonded indebted
ness, the last of Its bonds having re
cently been retired. In addition to
the coal property It has $32,000,000
cash and quick assets and no debts of
any kind except bills in course of cur
rent business. It shows what honest
capitalization will do for a railroad.
Its rates necessarily are the same as
those of other roads operating in the
same territory and yet its regular div
idends are 20 per cent, one-fifth of
which has come from the coal com
panies. In addition to this large div
idend and the distribution of the coal
company assets there Is more than
enough cash In the treasury to pay an
additional 100 per cent dividend on
the stock should the directors desire
to do so.
There Is room for doubt that the
forced separation of the railroad from
direct participation in the coal busi
ness will materially benefit the public,
insofar as prices to consumer goes, be
cause the coal properties will doubt
lees continue to be operated as before,
but under another corporate name. It
does afford an object lesson, however,
of the enormous profits the coal com
bine has drawn from the public by
controlling both production and trans
portation of tie product.
Dearth of Touts; Ministers.
Protestant church organisations
complain of a scarcity of candidates
for the ministry. In the United 8tates
it Is estimated that while 3,500 re
cruits are required each year to supply
the demand for extension of service
and retirements, the seminaries will
graduate only 3,000 this year. The
same condition has prevailed for some
time past, although in the various col
leges Interest In religious work and
bible class attendance has increased.
Increasing facilities are being provided
and more scholarships founded for ed
ucating men for the ministry, but even
this does not seem to remedy the evils
As one reason, It Is suggested that
to apply the monetary standard to re
ligious endeavor Is not idealistic, but
It applies Itself just the same. The
minister owes the same duty to his
family that other men do and the min
isterial profession does not as a rule
afford the means to meet It. The city
pulpits, especially In larger churches,
pay good salaries, but the great mass
of ministers live and always will serve
pulpits In small towns and In outside
suburban or rural districts. The com
pensation of these men Is often piti
fully small In proportion , to the de
mands upon them and their position
in the community lacking In that In
dependence which la essential to self
respect. It requires either courage of
a high type or optimism unbounded to
choose deliberately the ministry as a
life work, and that accounts for the
fewness of those graduating from
theological seminaries as compared
with the multitudes turned out by
other professional schools.
Harmful, Though. Groundless,
Official investigation of charges
made by former Inspector Harms of
East St. Louis against the meat In
spection service there has resulted In
a clean bill for the Inspectors and a
sweeping refutation of the charges.
The government cannot afford to
Ignore such charges, because ineffi
cient inspection strikes at the health
fulneBs of the nation's food supply,
but such fictitious disclosures are cal
culated to do an Irreparable Injury to
a great industry. , .
Prejudice against American meats
Ib assiduously cultivated by producers
in Europe. Every such charge Is
seized upon and worked to the limit
to increase the distrust and to secure
further restrictive legislation against
the Imports from America. Meat and
meat products are one of the largest
items of our exports and anything
which curtails the market for them re
acts directly not only upon the big
packing concerns,, but upon the pro
ducer. The sensation-seeker is, therefore,
particularly reprehensible when he
wilfully misrepresents conditions in
the packing houses for the sake of
notoriety or revenge. Former In
spector Harms Is characterized In the
report as a disgruntled employe, but
In striking at the Inspection service
he has doubtless worked great Injury
to the foreign trade of the packers,
though the domestic business has
doubtless not been seriously affected.
Jeffersonian Simplicity in Georgia.
Governor Joe Brown of Georgia has
evidently started in to rival a former
noted chief executive of Indiana. Gov
ernor Brown has adopted blue jeans
ss the sartorial standard and has ban
ished the Ice cooler from the executive
office. In its stead he has recurred to
the old-fashioned water bucket and
the gourd dipper. Governor Brown Is
new yet and what other peculiarities
he will develop during his term Is un
certain, but it would not be strange to
see a well digger at work on the state
house grounds any day and the old
oaken bucket, with Its moss-covered
brim, supplanting the' hydrant.
If it is Governor Brown's purpose In
all things to revert to Jeffersonian
simplicity, the news correspondents
have been woefully remiss is furnish
ing detailed information. They failed
to tell us whether the governor wore
knit gallusses, cowhide boots and a
straw hat gone to seed. They also
failed to record whether the executive
bedchamber was equipped with a husk
mattress and an old roped bedstead
and such other luxuries as our fore
fathers used to enjoy. In the absence
of detailed information on these points
we refrain from passing judgment
whether Georgia's governor is the real
brand of Jeffersonian simplicity.
Mr. Carnegie la going to write a maga
xina story and tell us how much he Bpent
for libraries, and how It made him feel to
spend It. He should follow up this story
by another one confessing just how he
made It. Mr. Bryan's Commoner.
Yes, and include in the story how
Mr. Bryan successfully solicited the
money for the Carnegie library at Lin
coln and rushed Into the newspapers
to make sure that no one else should
have the credit for standing In so
closely with Mr. Carnegie.
Mr. Bryan's Commoner is in favor
of an amendment to the federal con
stitution to permit the levying of in
come taxes in the future. It is also
In favor of Imposing an Income tax
law Immediately, and likewise in favor
of the proposed tax on corporation in
comes. -It wants all three income tax
measures If it can only get them, and
if it cannot get all three It will take
any one of them. Anything that looks
like an Income tax looks good to Mr.
The senate Is in a quandary over
which of two busts of Roosevelt to ac
cept. One represents him In thought
ful repose and the other In a strenuous
pose. Before passing judgment they
should try to find someone who can
vouch that the pose of thoughtful re
pose Is really true to life.
The sultan of Morocco Is certainly
a brave man. When he could not de
feat the forces of the pretender to the
throne he took the pretender's mother
out and had her publicly whipped.
That must have made her presumptu
ous son feel hurt.
According to press report, the suf
fragette convention at Seattle admitted
the Spokane delegates without giving
them the right to vote In the conven
tion. A mere man Is led to Inquire
where the equal suffrage principle
Sir Thomas Llpton is again talking
of challenging for the America's cup.
Like the case of the bull who fought
the locomotive, people cannot help ad
miring Sir Thomas' courage, even if
they cannot praise his discretion.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
It In estimated that 200.000 Americans will
buy autos during the coming year. But
that Is not a circumstance to the number
who will continue to ride on street car and
Bullions In Snnahlne.
Don't make yourself hotter by complain
ing about the weather. Everv riav nf It
adds $1,000,000 at ltfaFt to the value of the
corn crop. Prosperity for the farmer
means prosperity for the whole country.
Let It slixle!
Sculptor of tbe Lincoln Statue.
One of the most Interesting art matters
of the day Is that Daniel Chester French
Is to do the Abraham Lincoln statue for
the Nebraska state house grounds at Lin
coln. Mr. French thus succeed, with just
credit, to the honor of St. Oaudens, as
Ellsha to the mantle of Elijah.
Coat of Armed Peace.
There probably has never been In the
past history of civilized nations such
amailng expenditure in the preparation
for war. Yet there Is no war in sight.
Th tremendous drain upon the resources
of the powers may soon reach a point
where armed peace is more costly than
actual fighting. The pretext of arming to
koep th peace may break down of Its own
weight, brlngln on war as the lesser evil.
Calculation of Losaea Well Up In
An expert of the geological survey ha
made the estimate that the damage Inflicted
by smoke In the United States every year
amount to more than $900,000,000 In the
destruction of merchandise, th Injury of
buildings and exposed metals, th damage
don to plant and animal Ufa, and in the
greatly increased cost of housekeeping.
Whether this enormous sum includes th
direct waste of fuel Involved in the produc
tion of the smoke which In turn pollutes
the air and become such a deadly menace
to the health and live of the thousands
and ten of thousands compelled to breathe
It, dot, not appear. It la certain, however,
that If those who are responsible could once
ba made to realise what this loss and wast
amount to, there would be Instant effort
to secure a reform. Unfortunately the
greater loss fall on others, it I o widely
disseminated. that It Is easy to shift the
responsibility, and so th crime goea on.
MOVING PICTURE, OF WOE!.
Heartrending; Fate of Colonel Bry
an' Prlae Jukass,
New York Sun.
It Is not necessary to recall to the en
lightened political economist of thl nation
how important was the part played In the
last national campaign by the Jackass given
to Hon. William Jennings Bryan of Lincoln,
Keo., by the Minnesota state fair. It is
fresh In mind that th Jaok was welcomed
at Falrvlew with enthusiasm and gratitude;
that a valorous newspaper correspondent
undertook to ride It; that this, man was
thrown lnglortouBly by the symbolical rep
resentative of democracy; that Colonel
Bryan, eager to compliment the bestower
of the gift, Immortalise the name of the
gentlemen whose bravery waa tested on Its
back, and to describe properly the function
of the beast, named It Major Mlnnamascot;
and that In a moment of prodigal gener
osity or enlightened elf-lnteret the colonel
offered to give It to the voting precinct
which showed the largest percentsge of
gain In democratic ballot cast at the
Major Mlnnamascot became an Institu
tion, a totem. Photographs of the patient
beast, articles about it, allusions to It deco
rated and embroidered the newspapers.
Then came the election, and Interest In
Colonel Bryan abated to an alarming ex
tent. We recollect vaguely that Malor
Mlnnamascot'a name appeared In conjunc
tion with that of soma unhappy constitu
ency In the west. The jackass was "good
stuff before election. After the fatal day
In November it ceased to attract.
How completely this once petted and
pampered companion of greatnesa, this
dweller In the warming rays of the spot
light, fell from public esteem and luxury
wa confess we had not known, nor had
we cared, until a friend sent to us yes
terday the subjoined extract from the Oold
field Tribune of June 23:
'The glory of the democratic mule has
been eclipsed and the major from Bryan's
farm has descended to the flrld of useful
ness by dragging a beer wagon around
Goldfield. This Is hard on prohibition In
Nebraska, but harder on the mule, which
had grown accustomed to a life of ease."
Thus Major Mlnnamascot, stripped of the
greater portion of the name so painstak
ingly bestowed the "Minn" for Minnesota.
the "a for agriculture, the "maecot" for
description is reduced to the prosaic and
humble task of "dragging a beer wagon"
through a mining town, getting none of the
beer either. The frolics at Falrvlew, the
attentiona of the great, the caresses of the
thoughtful and talkative and mighty of the
land, are exchanged for the strong and
bitter words of the brewery driver and the
stinging blows of a whip wielded by a base
minion of the eorporationists. The plvaam
days of dreaming and of rest are past; the
harsh realities of life oppress Major Mlnna
It Is a sad fall, a heartbreaking revela
tion of the Inequalities of life among
Jackasses. And Colonel Bryan, while his
former companion, Insplrer and confidant
wearily draws the beer wagon In the
Nevada mining town, preaches prohibition
from th platform of Nebraska and look
forward longingly and lovingly to Novem
Is your house furniture insured against
loss by Fire, Lightning, Windstorm,
Burglars and Thieves while you are
away on your vacation trip?
We issue policies of insurance cov
ering against all such losses.
The Hartford Fire Insurance Co.
publishes an interesting book on fire
prevention and fire insurance. We
will send it to you on request.
We have money to loan on city real estate. .
B. L BALDWIN & CO.,
General Insurance Agents, 1221 Famam Street.
Phone Dougles 271.
SERMONS B0I1ED BOWS.
Gifts to Ood can never make up for thefts
He who honestly seek to save another
Ha never ha a message who does not
know how to listen.
Lying lips are none the better for work
ing In a prayer meeting.
Tou will not be able to rest in heaven If
you practice resting hero.
Tha wastes of lova bring greater rlche
than th wisdom of greed.
A man' soul 1 to be measured by his
sense of the souls of others.
No duties are better, done than those wa
do without thinking of duty.
Where every one haa an ax to grind there
will be little hewing to the line.
No advantage 1 smaller than that gained
by taking advantage of a friend.
The man who always doe what he wants
I rarely wanted for what he does.
Tou cannot become one of the tool of
the Infinite if you flee from his anvil.
The best evidence of loyalty to truth Is
lberality enough to give all truth a chance.
It's no use talking about tha peace of
God If your Ufa 1 a provocation to your
One trouble with the habitually crooked
man Is that ha never know which way he
Is turning. Chicago Tribune.
SECULAR SHOTS AT THE PULPIT
Boston Transcript: Just aa the discussion
of his stricture on American college be
come heated Bishop McFaul come to th
relief of the situation with th assertion
that he haa been misquoted.
Chicago Record-Herald t Vollva, who da
posed Dowie, is said to ba out, but still
fighting. For a city that waa founded to
hat ten tha advent of peace on earth, etc.,
Zlon doesn't seem to have been conspicu
Washington Post: A leading Indianapolis
minister 1 preaching against oard playing
by women, and call it "an appalling waste
of time." It will dawn on him after a
while that h is one who I wasting time.
Card playing among women haa come to
St. Louis Globe-Democrat: Tt Is a Mis
souri preacher who is Just now retiring
from a ministry of half a century in which
he never received a cent of pay in cash.
Such men have saved Missouri from the
worst effects of Bourbonlsm. even while
many of them were voting for Bourbonlsm.
Philadelphia Record: The pope In refus
ing to ride In tha new automobile s.nt him
by American Catholic gave as a reason
for hi abstention that he wa setting a
good example to cardinals. H had, how
ever a still better reason. HI journeying
1 confined within the limit of th Vati
can. The chlefest value of th automobile
1 In Its extension of the area of swift and
PERSONAL AND OTHERWISE.
Chicago piled up a total of J, S0 June
bride without drawing upon the overflow
hitched at St. Joe.
Diligent reading of the Congressional
Record Is warranted to "put asleep th
liveliest member of the Ginger club.
Reports of the fighting of London suf
fragettes tends to discredit the assertion
that Englishmen seek American heiresses
for their money.
Foreign doctor give mystic names to
Mr. Harrlman's ailment, but the probabili
ties are some indigestible securities got
stuck In his system.
The marine engineers who refused hon
orary membership to Noah and flouted his
ability as a navigator, grudgingly admitted
that he knew when to get In out of a rain.
General Prosperity pulled off a rare stunt
in Maiden Lane, New York, last week.
An expert Jeweler paid $6,100 for forty-four
pounds of brass filings represented as gold.
Corn making and perspiration are links in
tha chain of prosperity. They thrive in
unison. If perspiration annoys, consider
th farmer and hi chuckles, and be happy.
Viewing on the local score board the suc
cession of defeats, the saddened fan turned
away and mutilated a few bar of the
melody, "I Don't Car It They Never Come
An incom of IS, 000 a month help to
prove that a matrimonial investment
wisely made, beat a stage career to a
frazzle. It' different for the fellow who
foots the bill.
Somewhere over 8,000 Manhattan police
men who have felt the pressure of General
Bingham's leather, will chortle merrily at
the general's flight over the transom.
Ther always la enough sugar In revenge
to soothe an aching cuticle.
The cruel war on Crazy Snake has been
transferred from the haunts of the r-dnkln
to the Oklahoma treasury. The gallant
colonels of Governor Haskell's staff
actually Insist on pay for tha spring excur
sion Into the bad lands. But an empty
treasury mocks their demands.
A chauffeur, testifying as a character wit
ness In a Philadelphia court, described hla
mistress as "a perfect lady," adding by
way of proof that ah can "swear fluently
In three language," but "her best work, of
course, I done In English. " The Philadel
phia Idea of what constitutes "a perfect
lady" contribute a mite to the knowledge
of th world.
A Man nlta a Hccord.
Secretary of Agriculture James Wilson
Is an Inspiration to old men. H has
served under three presidents, and all of
them faithfully; but the remarkable fact
is he mad hla enviable reputation after
hla COth birthday.
"According to Dr. Eliot, marriage i tha
best occupation for women."
"That'a all right, but what' to ba done
for those who can't gat Job?" Cleveland
"It would never do to give women votes.
Just think what Would happen than when
It made women eligible to Jury duty!"
"What would happen?"
"They might get husband and wives on
the same jury, and then they would be aur
to disagree." Baltimore American.
Th angel wa making up th list.
"I never asked my fellow man If It wa
hot enough for him." remarked Abou Ben
And lo, his name cam In under tha wire
first New York Sun.
Pearl Jack is the biggest goose I ever
saw in rev life.
Ruby What now, dear?
Pearl Why, my chaperon lost her glass
last night when we were making love and
he actually helped to find them for her.
"I see where soma college professor I
writing about "Th Women Men Marry.' "
"Yes; J va read it."
"Do you agree with hi conclusions?
What women do you think men generally
"Their wives." Baltimore American.
"Who' that a-hollerln, down yander in
"That's the prodigal son. Th old man's
a-whalln' thunder out o' him fer runnln'
away." Atlanta Constitution.
THE HOI WAVE DILEMMA,
To growl or not to. growll that' th
Whetner 'tis better for a man to suffer
Thj roast and broiling of outrageous
Or to cut loose and relieve hla feelings
In torrid lines of talkl To talk and talk!
And talk again! Ay, there' tha rubj
For every on to whom oat talis hla
HI real, unbiased Idea of tha weather,
Wants to talk, too. and tU to the last
What he la thinking 'bout tt. There's
Which makes calamity of toe much griev
ances. It Is a Jolt to find that other alio
Share in this grievano Just as much as
For still we feel that no on evwir suf
fered To half the dire and hard extent that
But to the point. Is't batter to be silent.
Join a "Don't Worry" Club, or Mental
And strive to think w Just imagine It
Until th effort to keep quiet sets us
Or all the sizzling force of heated, pent
Explodes with dire destruction of our
Or fuss and fume and loudly raise our
In protest 'gainst tha weather man, th
The mercury, the office work, th house
flies, Th gay mosquitoes and the early milk
man. And whatever else we find about us,
To vent our wrath on and indulge bad
Which process help to make us feel th
Or whloh more fire our blood with
It Is a problem to take up and ponder
When In a hammock In a breezy corner.
With collar off, a stack nigh of big palm
leafs. A glass of icy liquid with a atlck within
And other such first aid to solemn
As give us pause!
OCCASIONALLY TOU MXAX
Tou need them ail the time. 'Bring
the pieces to us. We will duplicate
the broken lens, no matter where the
glaxs came from. We can mak th
new lens vxactly Ilk the old, with
only the old pieces to go by. Many
times the work can be don while
you wait. But you can always have
them the same day. Thl I a point
worth remembering if you wear
Ilulcson Optical Co.,
113 S. 16TH ST., OMAHA.
Factory on the premises.
SALT SULPHUR WATER
also the "Crystal Lithium" water from
Excel.ior Springs, Mo., in (-gallon
6-gallon Jug Crystal Llthta Water. .92
6-gallon Jug Salt-Sulphur water $3.23
Buy at either store. We sell over 100
kinds mineral water.
Sherman &, McConnell Drug Go.
Sixteenth and Dodge Stu
Owl Drug Co.
Sixteenth and Harney St
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