TIIE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE: MAY 16, 1909.
Tim t Omaha Sunday Per
rOUNDED BI EDWARD ROSEWATER.
iriCTOR ROSEWATER. EDITOR.
Entered at Omaha postoffflca aecond
clasa matter.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
Ily Bee (without Sunday), one year.. MOO
Dally Bra and Sunday ona year 00
DELIVERED BT CARRIER.
rr Bee (Including Sonrtay). per week.. 15e
Dally Bra (without Sunday), per week... 10c
Evening Bea (without Bunday),per week
Evening Bea (with Sunday), per week lOo
Juhday Bee. ona year B
iaturdiy Bee. one vear I "
Addreaa all complaints of Irregularities la
delivery to City Circulation Department t,
. -' OFFICES.
Omaha The Bea Building.
, South Omaha Twenty-fourth and N.
Council Bluffa 15 Bcott Street.
Lincoln lg Little Building.
Chicago IMS Marquette Building.
New York Rooma 1101-1103 No. M Weat
Thirty-third 8treet.
Washington 72S Fourteenth Street, N. W.
CORRESPONDENCE.
Communlcatlona relating to newa and edi
torial matter should be addreaaed: Omaha
Sea, Editorial Department.
REMITTANCES.
Remit by draft, express or poatal order,
payable to The Bee Publishing Company.
Only I-cent atampa received in payment of
"nail accounts. Personal checks, except on
)maha or eastern exchanges, not accepted.
STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION.
State of Nebraska, Douglas County, as:
Oeorge B. Txschuck. treaaurer of The
Bea Publishing company, being duly
sworn, aaya that the actual number of
full- and complete coplea of The Dally,
Morning, Evening and Sunday Bee printed
during tha month of April, 1908, waa aa
follow:
1. 89,900
I.' 39,080
S. 39,490
4 37,500
6.; 41,300
.. 40,540
7 41,600
.. 41,400
. 41,680
10.: 41,400
II. . 37,300
III. 41,300
II.. 41,440
14.., 40,590
U.. 40,600
11 41,030
II 37,130
19 40,350
10 40,630
tl 40,410
22 40,460
21 40,380
14 40,640
25 49,450
2C 45380
2T 45,530
21 43,850
IS 45,350
J0.v 45,360
If. 40,660 Total.. 1,236,410
Returned coplea 11.203
Net total..'. 1,835,207
Dally average 4040
GEORGE B. TZSCHUCK.
Treasu -ar.
Subacrtbed In my presence and sworn to
before ma thla lat day of May, 1909.
I M. P. WALKER.
Notary Public
WHEN OUT OF TOWN.
. Sabsertbera lea-ring; the city tem
pera rtly should hav Tfca Baa
dialled te them. Addreaa will ba
ekauased aa often aa requested.
That famous trial marriage resulted
as might be expected In a divorce
trial.
The regular base ball season Is now
on. , Washington has landed in last
pl&ee. .
. Political lights are not so easily
turned on and off by the wireless
method. . :
It. is strike two for Premier Clem
enceau, but in the language ot the
sleachers, he has the big one left. , J
, . Etenor Oiyn Bays American men
tre too slow for her. It's a horse and
lienor Is entirely too swift for Amerl-
an men.
the Pennsylvania Railroad company
teas " planted 1,000,000 trees this
spring.' That is something practical
in the way of reforestation work.
Places on the conference committee
that is to adjust the tariff differences
between the house and senate will be
at a premium. Who wants themT
The New York Central road has
paid $136,000 in fines for rebating
The big corporations are gradually
learning that the anti-trust laws are
loaded. .
Six secret service men wlir accom
pany President Taft to Beverly when
be goes to his summer home. That
number should be enough to go
around.
The Commoner suggests that the
Philippine tariff 'has the approval of
everybody save the Filipinos. It should
also have noted an exception for Mr,
Bryan.
And now W. J. Bryan announces
that he is going to make another
world tour. Hoping that absence will
make the American heart grow
fonder?
The democratic governor of Indiana
threatens to close down the demo
cratic gambling house of Tom Taggart
Here is a chance for MrBryan to
mediate between his friends.
No more kidnaping exploits In
Pennsylvania since the conviction and
sentence of the kidnapers of ,young
Whltla. It takes a big ransom to off
set a life sentence at imprisonment.
With corn" bringing top price Ne
braska farmers who still have their
bins full are manifesting no great
eagerness to dispose ot it. The farmer
with real corn to sell has the profitable
end ot the market
A Baltimore man has erected a mon
anient to Adam, the first man. Adam
should be satisfied now that Mark
Twain has wept at his tomb and the
greatest country on earth has honored
him with a monument.
Ex-President Roosevelt's ix-private
secretary Is doing a little gunning him
self. Three crooked New York cus
toms . official came down for him at
one shot and he is reported to be beat
ing the bushes for more.
. Aamirmi atsui um jv uvuu.m
date for International disarmament
It will come, he says, when hades
freeses'over and his satanic majesty
goes skating. A vote of thanks is due
tb, admiral for leaving plenty of time
to settle the armor belt controversy.
State'! Eighti.
Under this heading Edgar Howard
discusses Mr. Bryan's latest proposal
that the federal government phr.ll re
fuse to levy internal revenue taxes on
the sale of liquor In "dry" territory.
"If the people of one state or county
vote against the liquor trafnc," says
Judge Howard, "then It follows that
the national government should re
spect the wishes of that people."
Mr. Dryan's suggestion Is equally
loosely put. As embodied in the let
ter which he recently wrote to the
Florida legislature, It Is as follows:
There la a reform which ought to receive
the atipport of all, no matter whether they
believe 'In prohibition or In the regulation
of the liquor traffic through the license
system. The reform that I speak of Is
this, that the federal government should
discontinue the Issue of licenses for the
aale of liquor In territory where the local
authorities have prohibited the sale.
In referring to the government's In
ternal revenue tax as "the issue of
licenses," Mr. Bryan is Inaccurate be
cause the federal government does not,
and cannot, "license" the sale of liquor
within state territory. What the fed
eral government does is to levy purely
for revenue purposes a graduated oc
cupation tax on persons engaged In the
sale of certain commodities and to en
force its payment under severe penal
ties. .
But would the refusal of the federal
government to levy this tax in terri
tory that is voted "dry" be a recogni
tion of state's rights? Would it not,
on the contrary, be a most far-reaching
'expansion of the functions of the
federal government and, as a matter of
fact, make the federal government the
law-enforcing power for state legisla
tion?
Making the violation of state law or
local ordinance an infraction of the
federal revenue laws would in practice
devolve upon the federal government
the work of ferreting out and prose
cuting the law-breakers, thus relieving
the local and state officers of that duty.
The states or localities would decldeN
what is to be "dry" territory and fed
eral officers would enforce the law and
punish the offenders.
Without discussing the adequacy of
such a measure, it is plain that it
would be completely subversive of the
old Idea of state's rights and wholly at
variance with all the doctrines and
preachings of Jefferson lan democracy.
If the federal government should un
dertake In this way to enforce state
laws prohibiting the sale of liquor it
could and should enforce state laws
against the sale of cigarettes, against
the sale of cocaine, against the carry
ing of revolvers and laws regulating
a thousand and one other things. All
that 'would be necessary would be for
the federal government to levy a tax
on the objectionable article or trans
action and make its imposition de
pendent upon the action of the state
or locality affected. When we shall
have .reached that stage, if we ever
reach' it, our whole system of federal
government as established by. the
founders of, the republic will have been
revolutionized.
Internationalism.
Few people, even the best posted,
realize the extent to which the spirit
of internationalism has already devel
oped in different lines of human ac
tivity. International organizations
have been formed to secure co-opera
tive action In numerous fields of en
deavor that are of world-wide scope,
In an article on "International
Unions," contributed to the current
number of The Independent, by Prof.
Paul S. Reinsch of the University of
Wisconsin, the statement is made that
during the year 1907, alone, over 160
international congresses of various
kinds were held. In the single field
of sanitation and medicine there are
at least twenty separate international
organizations. In addition to thei pri
vate organizations with international
membership the government of the
different countries have also given au
thorltative sanction to a large number
of international unions, whose meet
ings are made up of official representa
tives commissioned for the purpose
and speaking directly for their home
governments.
Among the international organ lza
tlons having to do with transportation
and communication Prof. Reinsch enu
merates the International Telegraph
Bureau, which regulates the inter
change of telegraph service over the
world; the Universal Postal union,
whose jurisdiction extends over for
eign mall exchanges; the International
Union of Railway. Freight Transporta
tion, which has unified freight traffic
between continental countries; the In
ternational Association of Railway
Congresses, devoted to the advance
ment of the practical and technical
side of railway transportation, and the
International Maritime committee, cov
ering the same field for ocean naviga
tion.
There is an international body en
deavoring to secure uniformity of
weights and measures throughout the
world and an International organiza
tion for protection of patents and copy
rights. Quite a number of the labor
unions are International in their oper
ation and many international con
gresses have been held on special sub
jects relating to labor, 'industry and
agriculture. The international aclen
tine congresses . which meet in the
course of a year usually exceed a hun
dred in number, to say nothing of
smaller unions dealing with the lira
Ited relations of a few countries, or of
countries within a particular geograph
The significance of all this Interna
tional activity Is to emphasize the
truth ot the words uttered by Presi
dent McKlnley in bis last speech, when
he said. "Isolation is no longer possi
ble or desirable," and again, "The
period of excluslveness Is papsed." The
growing strength of all these interna-
lonal ligaments of science, art and
commerce will In due course of time
build up bonds of union that will with
stand all but the most violent shocks
that make for war.
Good Advice from Jim Hill.
Our old friend. James J. Hill, has
been giving out some more good ad
vice. In a recent interview he declares,
'Don't worry, the country is all right
and traveling right along on the high
road to prosperity. Quit grumbling
and hustle." While Mr. Hill has not
always eliminated grumbling from his
repertoire, the habit has never been
chronic wjth him, but the hustling
habit has. So persistently has he fol
lowed the prescription that in his ad
vanced age he is under no necessity
of worrying about the price of his
lodgings or the certainty of being able
to procure a meal.
Mr. Hill also gives out this hint to
the timid ones who say wait: "Some
people out in the country think these
fellows down here in Washington can
put anything on the statute books,
even a law to cure a fractured limb
or insuring their places against loss.
Some of us know better." He then,
proceeds to point out the strong fea
tures ot the present Industrial situa
tion and urges all to put their shoul
ders to the wheel and push. No .man
in the United States is a more careful
student of the trade conditions and
resources of the country than Mr. Hill.
He is emphasizing his own faith in
their basic soundness by pushing for
ward railroad enterprises, which were
held up by the financial stress of 1907,
in a most energetic manner. Others
similarly possessing accurate informa
tion are doing the same and it is time
for the blue-goggled critics to quiet
down and the timid ones to take heart.
ThoBe who refuse to get into the band
wagon now are likely to find it several
laps ahead of them when they con
clude to rifle. There are no free
passes, but the fare is reasonable and
the wagon will reach its destination in
due time.
Eich Heritage for Schools.
South Dakota authorities can fore
cast the time in the near future when
all the money necessary for the con
duct ot the schools ot the state will
be had from the school endowment
funds without the levying of a tax
upon the people. The money will
come from rentals of unsold school
lands and interest on invested funds
derived from the sale of school lands.
South Dakota has followed the policy
of selling school lands only in portions
of the state in which tey have
reached their approximate final values,
those In the newer portions being re
tained and leased. The result has
been the maximum of money for the
schools without materially checking
the growth of the state by keeping
lands off the market really demanded
for cultivation.
South Dakota, being settled later,
profited by the early mistakes of Kan
sas, Nebraska and other states, which
In the early day Bold their school lands
in the then settled sections at low fig
ures, because no one was farseeing
enough in that day to conceive that
the immense public domain would
soon be exhausted and that farm lands
would by this time be worth from $50
to $100 per acre. When the light
dawned Nebraska took its remaining
lands off the market, thereby largely
increasing its permanent school fund
until the income now produces ap
proximately $500,000 yearly for our
public scflools.
It is doubtful if the men who
framed the law setting aside for the
schools sections sixteen and thirty-six
In each township of tho public domain
dreamed of the Immense heritage they
were bequeathing the children of the
country. No such magnificent endow
ment to education has ever been given
since the world began, and the west
is showing its appreciation by a most
liberal support for the public schools,
the per capita expenditures for educa
tion being far In excess of the older
states with the resultant low ratio of
illiteracy. What this generous policy
has wrought cannot be computed and
its future usefulness can only be
guessed at.
-
Power of Public Opinion.
It Is no longer "The public be
damned," as one of the elder Vander
bilta once said. Up to recent times
no one except public officials ever
thought H worth their while to con
aider what the public thought of their
doings and undertakings and even this
class heeded it In a perfunctory way.
Next the men occupying semi-public
positions felt the force of its pressure
and railroad and public service cor
porations discovered . the necessity, if
not of yielding, of at least discounting
it. Corporations which have to deal
with the public everywhere are adopt
ing the plan of giving publicity to
their business formerly concealed.
They have discovered that the people
desire only what Is fair and that re
strictions which have been unjust have
gone on the statute books through en
forced popular ignorance which they
could have cured. The mlllenlum has
not arrived nor have these men told,
it all, but only bo much as the logic
ot conditions has impressed them as
being necessary, yet the recognition of
public opinion Is growing and every
day sees more light let in on the
hitherto dark places.
What is still more astonishing is
the fact that men in private life, doing
business on a large scale particularly,
have found It desirable to reckon with
this newborn force In civic life. A
notable illustration' is disclosed by
Broker Patten. For awhile newspa-
per reporters were given sonnt court
esy by hlra and they were told
he did not want to see them and that
his transactions were none of the pub
lic's business. Under the old stand
ards this was true, but the advancing
price of bread, attributed to his man
ipulation ot the wheat jarket, raised
such a clamor that a new light broke
In upon him and he sent for the news
paper men to deny that he had a cor
ner in wheat and that he was manipu
lating the market.
Whether Patten told the truth is
not to the point. It simply proves that
no man, no matter what his business,
when it affects others, can long defy
the power of public opinion. The
legitimate interests of all have so
much In common that the beBt assur
ance of securing them Is a full knowl
edge of conditions In order that public
opinion, which shapes legislation, may
be directed along right lines.
Civic Beautifieation.
A notable gathering of artists, land
scape gardeners and architects in
Washington has been discussing civic
beautifieation. In no one thing is the
United States so far behind Europe.
Even South and Central American
cities are far in advance of us in this
respect. Europe has the advantage of
the art accumulation of ages, but no
such reason favors South America.
Tbe growth of the United States has
been so prodlgous along utilitarian
and material lines that too little atten
tion has been paid to public adorn
ment, and even our few efforts usually
look out of place with their surround
ings. (
A great opportunity is presented to
us now for a reversal of past methods.
Our cities have reached a period of
their development at which they can
well afford to pay attention to the
artistic. Under our system of popular
government there will always be diffi
culties encountered that others do not
have to' contend with. Berlin, Paris
and other cities of Europe, and even
South America, have been made artis
tic not alone by civic beautifieation,
but by public regulation of private
building such as would not be possible
here. No attempt has been made in
the United States to restrict building
further than to protect surrounding
property from fire and other hazards.
KArchitecturally the builder has been
left free to follow his own fancy, with
the result that a sad Incongruity In the
groupings of even our finest buildings
often offends every artistic sense.
Much can be done to cure the evil
through the medium of education. As
It must necessarily be a slow process,
the present is none too soon for a be
ginning. Our municipal, state and
general , governments can further the
movement by setting good examples
and furnishing object lessons for indi
vidual enterprise that will hasten the
deBired achievement. .
' Present-Day Gambling.
A recent church convention passed
resolutions deprecating the Increase of
the gambling spirit alleged to have
taken possession of the present-day
people. No student of either morals
or of sociology will take issue with the
churchmen as to gambling being an
evil, but thoughtful observers will not
agree that it is peculiarly a present-
day vice or that it is on the increase.
Like other diversions, modern-day
gambling undoubtedly is indulged In
on a spectacular scale at times, but the
assertion that the habit is universal is
contradicted by the many and stringent
legal restrictions enforced against it.
The localities where gambling in the
strict sense can still be publicly con
ducted are so few as to, be notorious.
The last refuge of open betting in this
country was the race track, and this
has. been outlawed almost everywhere.
The time was, and not so far in the
past, when gambling waB considered
one of the polite pastimes of all
classes, and almost as universal with
the business man as with the laborer.
A careful search of history reveals that
the' "Stern virtues of our forefathers'
required many notable exceptions.
. The trouble with the resolutions In
question is that they speak with the
best of intentions, but from inadequate
information. The protest is aimed at
the immense activities of the boards of
trade and similar organizations, many
of whose transactions are gambling
pure and simple. But how to sepa
rate the two is the baffling problem
yet awaiting solution. The number of
people who engage in this class of op
erations is large In the aggregate, but
for all that are only a fraction of the
total population. Conceding that the
gambling spirit Is Involved In many
business transactions, the charge that
it Is growing and spreading is alto
gether lacking of confirmation, while
all the signs of the times point pre
cisely in the opposite direction.
An official review of the gains made
In the campaign against the saloon In
cludes the Nebraska 8 o'clock closing
law. That hardly fits in with Gov
ernor Shallenberger'B explanation that
he gave his approval to the measure
in the interest of the liquor traffic.
From this review it appears that the
daylight saloon experiment Is being
tried In this form 1n no other Btate
but Nebraska, and it will remain to
be seen whether it begets imitators In
any- of the states which have legis
lative sessions next year.
ThFs is the way Mr. Bryan's Com
moner chronicles the result of the city
election in Omaha:
of Omaha by a largely increased majority.
Doesn't even claim credit for him as
a democrat! What's the matter?
When Speaker Cannon and Dr.
Osier met at a banauet, the speaker
took occasion to remind the doctor
that he was 73 years old. If the doc
tor had any lingering suspicions that
Uncle Joseph had reached the period
of, senility he was doubtless disabused
of the idea. N
Omaha clearings ran over the $15,
000,000 mark during the last week
greater than such cities as Los An
geles, Louisville, St Paul, Denver,
Seattle and many others of similar
pretensions. The Gate City is surely
forging to the front.
Careful perusal of Mr. Roosevelt's
signed editorials in the Outlook raises
a suspicion that they were written be
fore he started for Africa, because the
composition discloses no signs of ex
citement begotten by Jungle animal
surroundings. .
Canal improvement bonds Issued by
the state of New York, bearing 3 per
cent interest, are commanding ready
sale at a premium. There Is nothing
in the condition of the money market
to prevent business expansion on a
sound basis.
Great Deeds Troop A Ion.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Jvmpln' mollycoddles! Here's Roosevelt
saving more Uvea by killing an embattled
rhlnoceroa at the first bang. How many
Carnegie medals will the mighty slayer
receive from his friend and associate In the
caibe of annihilating orthography?
If Technicalities Were Abolished.
St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
A bill has been Introduced In the Mis
souri legislature to make Impossible the
decision of cases on technical polnt- It
this should become a law there would be
nothing left for many people to do but
plead guilty and throw themselves on tha
mercy of the courts.
"Would the Senate Measure Upf
Baltimore American.
Opposition la made by a senator to the
erection of a statue of Alexander Hamil
ton In a public square In Washington,
which opposition Is based on the ground
that Hamilton waa not a model young man.
There Is felt some alarm lest the same
standard might be applied to the august
senate Itself, In which event, results might
be too startling for the public.
Pinching- m Paper Trust.
Springfield Republican.
The latest paper combination to suffer
from federal prosecution under the Sher
man act la the association of fiber and
manila paper makers. If they had incor
porated as a single legal entity they might
have fared better; as it is they meet ex
actly the same judgment passed upon that
price and selling association of western
papermakera two or three years ago. The
Bhorman law has proved pretty effective
against these Informal Industrial combi
nations, as witness also the early Addy
stone pipe case; but against Incorporated
combinations, which' are too numerous to
be mentioned, It continues to amount to
nothing, nor can it be made to now with
out a tremendous Industrial upsetting.
PERSONAL AND OTHERWISE.
By persistent and energetio work men arc
recovering lost rights. A Virginia court
holds that a woman who breaks an engage
ment must return the ring.
When the Ban Francisco courts get
through with the Insurance cases the
famous fir of April 18, 1906, will probably
be legally nailed to a smoldering cigarette.
Walter Wellman Is going to make an
other dash to the pole. It Is useless to
expect the pending revision of the tariff
will please everybody while Walter la off
the watch and cut of the country.
One of the few cheerful knockers In sight
nowadays is tho New York woman who
slammed her husband wtlh a flatlron and
laughingly remarked she would do it again
If he contradicted her knowledge of geo
graphy. The discovery of a mysterious animal by
the Roosevelt hunting party suggests the
need of calling the roll on the boasts re
moved from Omaha's city hall. Possibly
one of the gyaatlcutusea skipped for his
native heath.
Turkey's new sultan has been girded with
the scimitar of Oaman. If Mehmed will
try out the weapon on the baehl b a look
of Armenia the world will accept the act
as evidence of a desire to do tho right
thing at the right time.
The home Joye of spring life are booeted
substantially by timely showers. The
patient gnrden digger who puts In two
hours before breakfast cheerily mops his
brow as he salutes the weather man for
turning on nature's hose and loosening up
things.
Worthy of a place on the library table
is "A Glimpse of Utah," a beautifully Il
lustrated pamphlet, historical and descrip
tive ot a land that was old when the west
was new, now being distributed by the
passenger department of the Denver & Rio
Grande railroad.
SECULAR SHOTS AT THE PULPIT
Cleveland Leader: New Jersey minister
marries an eloping couple for 14 cents.
Rival preachers should Incorporate under
the beneficent laws cf their state.
Pittsburg Dispatch: Pittsburg churches
have taken up the matter of abolishing pew
rent and have made considerable progress
alrng that line. Those that have tried the
experiment claim their receipts are larger
and their opportunity for doing good corre
spondingly cxranded.
New Y.Tk World: Considering the num
ber of self-respecting. Intelligent American
families which have not and do not expect
to have Incomes of tl.OSO a year, the Chi
cago clergyman who names that sum as
the marriage minimum seems to be talking
mainly for publication.
Boston Heruld: A preacher In Texas has
an Idea that girls ahould be taught tha use
of ths rolling pin. Somebody ought to tell
him that there Is no rolling pin nowadays,
except In soma newspaper Joke columns,
and that any extenrlnn of Its use should
be sternly diBeouraged.
Boston Transcript: Some Idea of the
sacrifices made by the rural clergy Is af
forded by the presentation to the Weat
Maine Mt-thoUiat Episcopal conference at
Us current session at Berlin, N. II., 'if two
projects for the surport of pastors. One
contemplates the establishment of a sua
tentatlon fund to aid those clergymen
whose salaries are less than f 100 a year.
Another proposes an annuity fund for the
Deneui ot uvuuuaici uiiuUtcik, .,.' y
men receiving a year salary to con
tribute 1 per cent and those whose stipends
fall below that amount one-half of 1 per
cent. Consciousness of duty done must be
the chief reward ot many of the clergy
of tha Main conference
ar- r t
The bride's ait skeuld
La Valliere, or earrings, selected rom this arrty.
Wedding Gifts and Graduation Re.
membrances, too, will soon be timely;
therefore these suggestions.
Weddmg
Presents
Solid Silverware, Cut Glass,
Clocks and kindred lines.
For the
Girl Graduate
A handsome Diamond Ring or
pretty Chatelaine Watch.
Liberal Credit
SERMONS BOILED DOWN.
Tact without love la only a form of di
plomacy. v
Men who give up nothing give up every
thing. V
Only the doctrines that make deeds are
worth working over.
There Is no blessing to any bread until
it la broken and shared.
It Is better to blurt out the truth than
to set a lie to soft music.
Preaching dietetics Is always the forte of
those who are out of bread.
Too many think their hearts are uplifted
because their heads feel light.
The most desolate Uvea are those that
are lived for life's furniture only.
The child who give all gives more than
the richest who gives only a part.
When a man really gets a truth he ceases
to be afraid either of hell or heaven.
Many a man feela that his endorsement
of a religion gives It Its pre-eminence.
It's better being a handcar on the right
road than a private one en -the-' wrong. 1
Putting the divine names In caps and
man In nonpareil does not make the world
any better.-
It were better to suffer -from eternal
Justice than to enjoy unending bliss on a
crooked deal. :
The -wisdom of the world has always
come from the people who did not fear
being called fools.
They who think there is only one road
to heaven usually want to put a toll gate
at their station. Chicago'Tribune.
DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES.
Author's Wife (Interrupting hla after
dinner siesta for the third time) What
title did you decide on for your new book,
John?
Author (sleepily) "How to Bo Mappy
Though Harried." Puck.
"George is so obstinate about his lunch
eons. He invariably has a slice of roast
beef and a potato. If he would eat some
thing light and simple, aa I do, he would
never talk about indigestion."
"And what is your menu?"
"Just salad and Ice cream." Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
"The money which old Grimes' relatives
are collecting to break his will In their
own interest. Is very much on the order of
a notable charity."-
I don t exactly understand.
"Isn't It a regular fresh heir fund?"
Baltimore American.
"I tried tp touch my wife for a dollar
this morning, but she was doing her hair
and wouldn't be disturbed."
"Why, I should think that would be Just
the time that she would colt up." Houston
Post.
"Yes," said the returned hunter, "I had a
narrow escape from a rhlnoceroa."
"And what saved- you?"
"The fact' that the rhlnoceroa could not
climb a tree had something to-do with It,"
responded the hunter, modestly. Philadel
phia Ledger.
"Come away, children," said their mother.
"Run out In the yard and play."
"But we're watching papa lay the stair
carpet, mamma," they answered.
"I know It, but he's golns to lay It around
the bend in the stairway pretty mon. and
I don't want you to hear the language he
will use." Chicago Tribune.
"What did vour friends at the club say
when you told tfcem we were engaged?"
"Oh, they're a lot of Jonhers!"
"Put what did they say?"
"They voted me a hero medal." Houston
Post.
"Poor Gladvs Is almost heart-broken
over the breaking of her engagement."
"Then why did she dismiss her fiance?"
"Because Gladys Is so harmonious and
High Grade Pianos
Ths world's best Zranleh Bach rlann have proven beyond a doubt that
they are built to last the tone the richest the action the moat pliable, and
the case design, together with the superb finish the highest are produced by
any modern piano manufactory. It's almoat equal, the Xrakauer piano has
the next best class distanced by a mile. Nothing made to match it In its
class. Then, there 1a the Kimball piano, with clone to 200.000 in actual use,
known to musicians for fifty years the very best la lt'a clans; likewise the
Hallet 4 Davis, Bush-Lane. Cable-Nelson. Hospe, Victor, Burton Cramer and
the many good pianos A. Hospe Co. carries.
$159 Buys the Best
Full sized, full toned fully guaranteed. Brand new plnno, in oik. walnut.
Mahogany, now offered for aale In Omaha, SO days free trial, free scarf, free
rtool. free music, free drav, free freight and on 89 yaara trial. It'" tha old,
reliable Hospe plan. Try It.
$10 Takes One Home
Jut J6c r0' da' pay tor U. Proof plnno tuning guaranteed, piano re-
. A. HOSPE CO..
Ths Boom That Matches Quality and Tro and Some.
1513 Douglas Street
Jewels
most happily
chosen for the
June Bride
This premier stock permits of
such choosing the very name;
"Mandelberg's Gift Shop," has be
come almost universal throughout
Nebraska.
be a diamond ring, breoch,
For the
Groom
Diamond Studs, Cuff Buttons,
Lockets, Fobs, Etc
For the
Boy Graduate
Thin model watches, In solid
gold or gold filled, f 15 up.
If You Wish.
SALT SULPHUR WATER
also the "Crystal Lithium" water fron
Excelsior Springs, Mo., In 6-gallot
sealed jugs.
B-gallon Jug Crystal Llthia Water. .$2
5-gallon Jug Salt-Sulphur water $2.23
Buy at either store. We sell over 100
klnda-mineral water.
Sherman iUcConnell Drug Go,
Sixteenth and Dodge Sts.
Owl Drug Go.
Sixteenth and Harney Sts.
artistic, and aa blue is her color, she found
That his red hair would not go with the
most becoming gtwn she had." Baltimore
American.
CONTENTMENT.
.. . Oliver Wendell Holmes.
"Man wants but little here' below."
Little I ask: my wants are few;
I only wish a hut of stone
(A very plain brown stone will do),
That I may call my own; '
And close at hand is such a one,
in yonder street that fronts the sun.
Plain food Is quite enough fur me;
Three courses are as good as ten;
If nature can subsist on three.
Thank heaven for three. Amen!
I always thought cold victuals nice;
My choice would be vanilla Ice,
I care not much for gold or land;
Give me a mortgage here and there,
Some good bank slock, noma note of hand
Or 1 1 if 1 i i ik railroad share
I only auk that fortune send
A Utile more than 1 shall spend.
Honors are silly toys, I know.
And titles are but empty names;
I would, perhaps, be Plt-uipo,
But only near St. James;
I'm very sure 1 should nut care
To fill our Uubernator s chair.
Jewels are baubles; It Is a sin
To care for such unfruitful things;
One good sized diamond in a pin,
Borne, not so lare In rings
A ruby and a pearl or so
Will do for me. 1 laugh at show.
My dame ahould dress In cheap attire
(Good heavy silks are never dear);
I own perhaps I miiiht deslro
Some shawls of true cawhinere.
Some narrowy crapes or China silk,
L,lke wrinkled skins or scalded milk.
I would not have the horse I drive
So fust that folks must stop and start
An easy gall two forty-five
Suit me; 1 do not care
Perhaps for Just a single spurt
Some seconds less would do no hurt.
Of pictures I should like to own
Tl liana and liaphaels three or four
I love so much their style and tone
One Turner and no more
(A landfrape,. foreground golden dirt,
The sunshine' painted with a squirt).
Of books but few some fifty score
For dally use and bound for wear.
The rest upon an upper floor
Some little luxury there
Of red morocco's gilded gleam
And vellum rich aa country cream.
Busts, cameos, gems such things as these
Which others often show for pride
I value for their power to please
And selfish churls deride;
One Stradlvarlus, I confess. .
Two merschaums, I would fain possess.
Wealth's wasteful tricks I will not learn.
Nor ape the Klltterlng upstart fool;
Shall not carved tahlea nerve my turn.
Hut all must be of buhl?
Give graplng pomp Its double share.
I ask but one recumbent chair.
Thus humble let me live and die.
Nor long for Midas' golden touch;
If heaven more generous gifts deny,
I shall not miss them much
Too grateful for the blessings lent
Of simple tastes and mind content!
0