THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE: MAY 9, 1900.
Tiie Omaiia Sunday hm
FOUNDED BT EDWARD ROSEWATER.
VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR.
Entered at Omaha post off flee aa second
claaa matur.
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utliy Bee and Sunday one year aw
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fal!y Fee (Including Sunday), per wek..lV
Ially Be (without Sunday!, per week.. 10c
Evening Rce (without Sunday). per week 6
Rvenlng Bee (with Sunday), per week 10e
Sunday Bee, ona yar $2
aturdy Bee, one year 160
Address all complaints of irregularities In
delivery to City Circulation Department.
OFFICES.
Omaha The Bee Building.
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Lincoln 51 Little Building.
. Chicago 164 Marquette Building.
New York Rooma 1101-1102 No. 84 West
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CORRESPONDENCE.
Communications relating to new and edi
torial matter ahould be addressed; Omaha
Baa, Editorial Department
REMITTANCES.
Remit by draft, eipress or postal order,
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Only S-cent stamps received in payment of
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STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION.
State of Nebranka, Douglaa County, an:
Qaorge B. Tsschuck, treaaurer of The
Bee Publishing company, being duly
worn, aaya that the actual number of
iull and complete copies of The Dolly,
fornlng. Evening and Sunday Bea printed
during tbe month of April, 1909, was aa
follow:
i m.teo it 41,030
1 8S.06O It 37,130
1 89,490 19 40,350
4 87,600 20 40,690
1 41,300 21 40,410
40,640 2! 40,460
T 41,600 2t 40,300
1 41,450 24 40,640
41,680 26 43,450
10 41,400 l 45,880
11 87,300 27 48,630
II 41,300 28 45,850
II 41,440 29 46,350
14 40,580 SO 46,360
16 40,600
It 40,660 Total. .1,836,410
Returned copies 11,803
Net total 1,886,807
Dally avaraga 40,840
OEOROE B. TZSCHUCK,
: Treasu er.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn to
before ma thla lat day of May, 1909.
M. P. WALKER,
Notary Public.
WHEN OUT OF TOWIf.
tabeerlkers leaving- the city tern
fxtrarlly afconld have The) Be
aallesl to tkean. Addraa will be
changed aa oftea mm reqaeated.
More Nebraska postofflces are being
raised to the next higher class, which
again shows how we grow.
Those Pennsylvania railroad offi
cials whose special car caught fire
must have been having a hot time.
Tbe Shellfish commission is in ses
sion In New York. As there Is no
"ft" in the month of May the oyster
'refuses to attend.
Kansas City seems to be In Immi
nent danger of having ocean ships
docking on Its river bank before It fin
ishes its union depot.
If they could only suspend prize
fighters for holding out and falling to
sign up what a lot of space It would
save the newspapers.
Colorado Is to erect a $100,000 mu
seum building. If the state tries to
collect all its freaks an enlargement
will soon be necessary.
Some smart Yankee lawyer is miss
ing out by not getting hold of Abdul
Hamld's numerous wives and per
suading them each to institute divorce
proceedings.
The Pullman agent who over
charged a state railway commissioner
doubtless wishes he hadn't. That's
always what happens to the man who
guesses wrong.
The battleship Mississippi has
reached New Orleans on Its way up
the river to Natchea. It had Ipss
trouble passing the batteries than did
some of its predecessors.
A Chicago club womau has declared
that men are worse gossips than
women and that Adam started the
practice. Now, you lords of creation,
won't that hold you for awhile.
The New York police hunted for
three days for a woman with a cherry
on her hat. If the cherry had been
In the bottom of a glass the coppers
sight have located it quicker.
When the new Dutch princess goes
calling and leaves a card bearing the
same of Juliana Louise Emma Marie
Wilbe)inina, she is liable to make peo
ple believe there are five of them.
The duke of the Abruzsl is reported
to be ill in the Himalaya mountains.
As he was suffering from heart affec
tion before he undertook the job of
mountain climbing, the result Is not
to be wondered at.
Charges of a 1 100,000 graft in the
Cuban army payrolls are being in
vestigated. From the way those fel
lows are starting out It would appear
that they do not expect the ormor-
tunity will last long.
uuo ut mo tuuinuuuuni 10 a cur
rent magazine asks the question, "Are
our theological seminaries stagna
ting?" and It seeme Inclined to answer
In the affirmative. Is It any wonder
then that soma of the theological
seminary graduates occasionally stag
nate after they get out?
The New York ksUialura hag re
ferred Governor Hughes' demand for
a direct nomination law to a commis
sion with Instructions to study the
subject and report later. If the New
York commission wants to see one In
active operation, it la respectfully In
vited to come out and visit Nebraska.
. . 1 . 1 1 , a ,
Tte Golden Spike Anniversary.
Tomorrow, May 10, Is the fortieth
anniversary of the driving of the
golden spike at Promontory Point,
completing the last stretch of the Iron
rail from the Atlantic to the Pacific.
The notable event was celebrated
forty years ago, not only on the his
toric spot itself, but also here In
Omaha, the eastern terminus of the
first great transcontinental railroad,
as also In most of the large cities of
the country.
What the actors and orators said at
the time of the significance of the drlv.
Ing of the golden spike and the pre
dictions they then made of what It
would lead to In the development of
the western half of the continent must
have sounded grandiloquent to those
who heard them, but they have been
more than met In tbe short period of
forty years. When the golden spike
was driven the territory between
Omaha and San Francisco was peopled
chiefly by coyotes, buffaloes and In
dians, and all the traffic of the year In
the whole area would not equal what
Is now carried In a day.
The builders of the transcontinental
railway laid the foundations for the
future of a great country and were In
spired by a faith as sublime as It
seems Incredible. As the driving of
the golden spike marked a turning
point In the history of Omaha, so rail
road development growing out of this
first great ocean-linking project has
been the most influential factor In the
making of this city, with the Union
Pacific as the original transcontinental
line continuing to preponderate over
the other roads that have come to
share the business of this Missouri
river gateway.
That some of the chief figures in the
panorama at Promontory Point should
be still living among us, having wit
nessed the marvelous Industrial prog
ress of the last halt century, Is most
gratifying, and they must be proud of
the magnificent railroad in the new
Union Pacific which today exchanges
the products of four continents across
the spot where the golden epike was
hammered down.
Passing; of the Cowboy.
In the American cowboy the United
States has given one of the most pic
turesque and original characters in
the world's history. The passing of
the hardy, care-free men, who were
ready at any and all times to face dan
ger and undergo any hardship without
complaining, cannot be noted without
a regret.
It is only too apparent, however,
that the cowboy's days are numbered.
Even now in the sections where he is
still supreme his movements are be
coming more circumscribed and the
nature of his employment so changed
that the cowboy of the present day Is
only a reminder of the one who went
before. His occupation is a tame one
compared with that of bis predecessor.
He is no longer expected to sleep on
his arms' and be prepared at a mo
ment's notice to fight Indians or en
force border law against cattle rus
tlers and horse thieves. The barbed
wire corral has relieved him In large
measure, of the tiresome and many
times dangerous night riding of the
herd, and the free life with no bounds
but the horizon is ceasing to be his.
With every succeeding year the ad
vance of the farmer into the range
country drives the cowboy still fur
ther toward the "jumping off place."
The latest evidence of this is to be
found In the celebration held recently
in Lyman county. South Dakota, a
section In which until within a few
years the cowboy was supreme. The
homesteader has driven him out and
the land been given over to a wider
usefulness. The cowboy celebrated his
departure by a great gathering of his
kind, to which large numbers of spec
tators were attracted. As a farewell
he gave to the newcomers an exhibi
tion of his skill and of the wild and
daring sports which have been the nat
ural outgrowth of his life. It was a
gathering typical of the evolution of
tho west, and, while we rejoice at the
development It signalizes, let us bid a
sorrowful farewell to a pioneer who
blazed the way for the future, forget
the evil that was In him and remember
only that as a class he was big
hearted, fearless and every Inch a
man.
Check on the Scorcher.
A new element is about to be In
jected Into the effort to put a stop to
reckless automobile driving. City or
dinances and state laws, as well as
public opinion, have alike been inef
fectual to end dangerous speeding on
the part of a portion of the drivers of
these machines, but there is something
coming up which promises better suc
cess. At the meeting of the accident
and casualty insurance men, which la
to be held In July, one of the principal
topics of discussion will be the liability
of the companies for Injuries to per
sons and to machines which are in
sured. The raising of rates, it Is held,
would simply mean that those who
were good risks would not take out
policies and the scorcher and reckless
driver Is a bad risk at any price.
It is proposed to keep a list of all
owners and drivers who are arrested
and convicted of reckless or fast driv
ing and to refuse to l6ue policies on
either the persons of the drivers, the
machines themselves or surety bonds
against damages. The expert of the
association, who has been keeping tab
on automobile accideuts, asserts that
almost without eruption (hey are due
to criminally reckless driving. If the
accident and casualty insurance com
panies can eliminate the reckless auto
mobile driver they will have earned
the everlasting gratitude of the thou
sands of people whose chief occupation
in life under present conditions la to
avoid being knocked down and run
over whenever they venture on the
streets.
Why Not Apply It At Home.
The latest Issue of Mr. Bryan's Com
moner commends one of the judges of
the Cincinnati court of common pleas
for dissenting from the reappoint
ment aa a democrat of one of the Jury
commissioners, who admits that he Is
an anti-Bryan man, but Insists that,
although he has been opposed to Bryan
at all times, he is still "as good a dem
ocrat as the Judge ever dare be."
Commenting for Itself, the Commoner
continues:
How Is a man's democracy to be deter
mined? Of course, a man can for his own
satisfaction call himself a democrat and
yet support the republican ticket at every
opportunity. While no one can legally de
prive htm of the satisfaction he obtains
from the use of the party name, he la cer
tainly not entitled to receive the honors
that come with party service. A law re
quiring bi-partisan appointments In a farce
If It permits the appointment of men who
represent the minority in name only.
Since the democratic party has 'suf
fered a great deal by the appointment of
so-called democrats on bi-partisan boards,
but In nearly every case the so-called
democrats are aa antl-democratlc aa thalr
republican associates. Where republican
offlcnls reward the democrats for their
apoatacy they not only deprive the demo
cratic party of representation, but make
it responsible for those who ara neither in
the party nor of the party.
All this reads very well from Mr.
Bryan's standpoint, but why not apply
it at home? Is there any difference
between a man voting the republican
ticket and continuing to call himself a
democrat and a man voting the demo
cratic ticket and continuing to Call
himself a populist?
If support of the party nominee for
president Is the test which Mr. Bryan
would enforce upon Bo-called demo
crats, why Is not the support of the
presidential nominee of the populists
a test which ought to be applied to so
called populists?
In the recent election In thle state
Mr. Bryan not only countenanced, but
backed up, a deliberate fraud upon
the voters by which his democratic
candidates for presidential electors
were put upon the official ballot mis
branded as populists, when not one of
them was supporting, or Intended to
support, the populist nominee for pres
ident. Mr. Bryan's democratic presi
dential electors in Nebraska may have
had a legal right to call themselves
populists, but they had no more moral
right to take advantage of the popu
list name than had the Cincinnati Jury
commissioner who bolted Bryan three
times to receive an appointment aa a
democrat.
The very "farce" against which Mr.
Bryan now rails has been played here
In Nebraska under his personal super
vision and approval ever since the
fusion game was made a permanent
Institution, and the laws requiring the
bi-partisan appointments were never
so flagrantly evaded as by the demo
crats and populists helped Into office
by Mr. Bryan In his wn state. At
times this "farce" went so far as to
constitute a board supposed to be
composed of three members, each of
different political affiliation, of one
Bryan democrat, one Bryan populist
and one Bryan silver republican. Even
party representation on election
boards was for years nullified in the
same way.
After his long success In masquerad
ing his partisans as populists in order
to get by false pretenses the .votes of
old-line populists who would not ac
cept the democratic label. It ill befits
Mr. Bryan to complain when some
anti-Bryan democrat misuses the party
name.
Hard Blow to Bucket Shops.
The conviction at Cincinnati of sev
eral men engaged In running a bucket
shop for using the malls to defraud is
a shot below the armor belt. The court
In Us ruling says that the trades in a
bucket shop, where It Is never In
tended or contemplated that any com
modity should change hands, Is gam
bling pure and simple and as such Is
fraud within the eyes of the law.
This decision, of course, goes only
to the extent of barring from the malls
any part of a bucket shop transaction,
but if deprived of the use of this facil
ity the bucket shops would have a
sorry time of It conducting their busi
ness along tho lines of profit. The
purely gambling features of Board of
Trade transactions are more difficult,
if not Impossible, to reach. They are
so Interwoven with the legitimate pur
chase and Bale of grain and other arti
cles for future delivery that the wisest
has not yet evolved a plan to separate
them and extinguish the one without
destroying the other, which In princi
ple is the basis of the major portion
of all the world's commerce. Those
who want to see gambling abolished
will rejoice, however, that the courts
by this bucket shop decision have put
one more stumbling block In its way.
Good Advice to the Navy.
Congressman Dawson of Iowa In ad
dressing the members of a naval so
ciety has given tbe officers in that
branch of the service a hunch they
should take to themselves. The course
of events has been such as to lead to
the belief that some of the officers
have mistaken the purpose of the gov
ernment In educating them for the
navy. They were not trained solely
to look handsome In uniform on dress
parade occasions. Their main duty la
to man the navy and see that It Is kept
In a condition to give a good account
of Itself when called upon.
Recent tempests in teapots when
departmental orders were distasteful
to some of the officers have brought
down adverse criticism upon a service
which in the main has been demon
strated to be highly efficient and above
reproach. It was to this class that
Mr. Dawson addressed himself and he
told them candidly that less of seek
ing after personal advantage and less
of jealousy between the staff and the
line would be Instrumental In inducing
congress to be lrberal with the navy.
Lees bickering among the bureaucrats
and more attention to systematizing
the business of the department with
the elimination of waste; less political
Intrigue and more striving for ad
vancement on the strength of accom
plishment would redound to the ad
vantage of all. '
High-class vaudeville and the Intri
cate plots of melodrama are all right
for public entertainment, but they can
be secured at a much lower price than
what we spend on our naval establish
ment. There are also too many faith
ful, competent men who are giving the
best that 1b in them to perfect the
navy and make It a credit to permit
the conceit and selfish new of a few to
lower the standard of the whole serv
A Monument to Longfellow.
There has been dedicated the last
week at the national capital a monu
ment to Henry Wads worth Longfel
low. The president, the chief justice
of the supreme court and many nota
ble people in public, religious and civil
life participated In the ceremonies, it
Is fitting that in the national capital,
graced with so many reminders of sol
diers, sailors and statesmen, there
should be reared a monument to ona
who has touohed as many, If not more,
hearts than any American who ever
lived.
Measured br the standards of poetic
genlua Longfellow Is not great.
Neither In his conceptions nor in his
versification I there anything which
stamps him as exceptional. Yet In his
simplicity, purity of thought and dic
tion and, above all. In his appeal to
the ideas and emotions which all could
understand, he comes up to the full
measure of greatness. It requires no
analytical mind to ascertain the Ideals
of Longfellow, which were "The sim
ple and heartfelt lay." He touched the
responsive heart of the child and In
chaste and pure language recalled ten
der memories to those grown old.
His direct appeal to the ideals of
youth inculcated a softening Influence
Into thousands of lives which in after
years made for better men and
women. The world 1b better that such
men have lived. Though he essayed
to solve none of life's great problems,
his appeals to the humanity of his
readers are and ever will be an uplift
ing force.
Reliability of the Newspaper.
In the, current Atlantic Monthly
James Ford Rhodes, the noted histor
ian, upholds the newspaper as a reliable
source of historical data. He goes
further than to say It Is worthy of
consideration In the compilation of
any history, and maintains that it is
the best source of Information for ev
erything except official acts. In which
case, of course, tbe public documents
themselves tell the story, although un
like the newspaper, they do not dis
close the motive. He says:
The Impulse of an American writer In
justifying the use of newspapers aa his
torical material Is to adopt an apologetic
tone. It Is somewhat curious that such
ahould be the case, for newspapers satisfy
so many canons of evidence. They are
contemporary, and, being written without
knowledge of the end, cannot bolster up
any cause without making a plain showing
of Intent. Their object Is the relation of
dally events; arid if their relation Is colored
by honest or dishonest partisanship, this
la easily discernible by the critic from
the Internal evidence and from an easily
acquired knowledge of a few external facts.
The author takea severely to task
those who give preference and cred
ence to personal correspondence and
personal remembrances, both of which
are often committed, to paper long
after the events transpired, in prefer
ence to newspaper accounts of current
date. He points out that Inaccuracies
in tbe newspapers would be challenged
at the time and other publications
would disclose them while to memory
and private correspondence there is no
check to either partisanship or inac
curacy. In another direction Mr. Rhodes
finds the newspaper to be the only re
liable source of Information to the his
torian, for the color of the tlmea, the
relation of events to ench other and
the motives which inspire actors in the
drama of life. With the analytical
mind of a historian he has pointed out
the method of correctly determining
tbe value of newspaper material, by
comparison and weighing the points of
difference in the various journals and
also gives them the credit of being ac
curate beyond reasonable expectation,
considering the hurried manner In
which tbe material presented must be
compiled.
Tbe newspapers can well feel a pride
In the estimate which Mr. Rhodes
places upon their work and the news
paper readers can also find profit in
his testimony to newspaper reliability.
Idaho Springs has just Celebrated
the fiftieth anniversary of the first dis
covery of gold In the Rocky moun
tains. George Jackson, the man who
made the discovery, died In poverty
several yeara ago, but his find meant
fortune to thousands and was the
opening wedge for the rapid develop
ment of that great region. Tributes
to bis memory are fitting enough, but
It would have been more to tbe credit
of those to whom his discovery
brought affluence had they provided
for him In bis declining years.
According to Collier's weekly the
proposed western tour of the president
depends somewhat on whether con
gress makes an appropriation to pay
the traveling expenaes of the presi
dential party or leaves It to ths presi
dent to meet these expenses out of bis
salary which, as it now stands, Is
equal to only the old salary plus the
allowance for traveling expenses. If
all the senators and representatives
who are pressing Invitations upon the
president to visit their states had this
brought home to them they will surely
see to it that the president Is able to
travel without sacrificing his own per
sonal resources.
Russia has ninety-one holidays and
the lawmaking bodies are discussing
the advisability of reducing the num
ber because the financial loss incident
to their observance Is estimated as
running far up Into the millions. Here
Is a practical Illustration for the en
thusiasts in this country who are con
tinually springing something new in
tbia line.
Uncle Joe Cannon was 73 years old
Friday, and even the democrats for
got for a day the mean thtngs they
have said about him. In telegraph
parlance "7" is the signal for best
wishes, and everybody got busy on the
wire.
The Missouri 'legislature has passed
an anti-treat bill through one house.
Those Missouri lawmakers should
coma to Nebraska and be shown how
an anti-treat law looks aa a dead
letter.
Optimism of Yenth.
Boston Herald.
In spite of the good lesson of the Chicago
peace congress. It will not be easy to con
vince the children of the literal truth of
Gray's line: "The path of glory leads but
to the grave."
Rail Splitting; and Hair Splitting.
New York Post.
The decision of an Illinois court setting
aalda the law Intended to check "loan
sharks" because It failed to distinguish be
tween "wags" earners and "salary" earn
ers, shows that the state which once
boasted a rail-splitting president has now
at least got some halr-spllttlng Judges.
Troth Lags la the Marathon.
Boston Transcript.
It takea the truth a long time to overtake
falsehood. Western papers are still dis
cussing the alleged statement of President
Woolley of Mount Holyoke college that
working girls made better home makers,
though, she has flatly disclaimed having
given utterance to anything of the kind.
Exposing Tariff "Jokers."
Kansas City Tlmea.
Senator Dolllver of Iowa, who la making
a splendid record in the work of exposing
"Jokers" In the tariff bill, takes especial
palna to acquit the finance committee of
any blame. Certainly no man Is mean
enough to suspect that the great and good
Aldrlch would .permit, knowingly, his
friends to slip "Jokers" Into ths tariff bill.
Official Reforms In lows.
St. Louis Requbllc.
When the governor of Iowa puts Into
affect Ms order requiring state officers td
make sworn statements of their traveling
expenses It will be Interesting to observe
what eort of Items ha will "pass" as legit
lmate. What would he say to the Item of
"76 cents for mending trousers" once put
Into an expense account by Judge William
H. Marcy, of New York, afterward gov.
ernor and United States senator?
PERSONAL AND OTHERWISE.
The discovery of 500 pianos in the Yildiz,
Kiosk explains A. Hamld's facility In fur
nlshlng music for the concert of the pow
ers. The increaaed draft a on the taxable
wealth of Great Britain under the pro
posed law la likely to send a thrilling "C.
D. Q." call to American heiresses.
A member of one of the Juries of a New
York court, who wears $4,000 worth of dia
monds on his person, Is expected to throw
considerable light on the law and the facts
In the case.
During a trial for personal damages In
a Chicago court the woman plaintiff forgot
her crutches and her simulated feebleness
long enough to romp with her granddaugh
ter In the presence of the Jury. The shock
of an adverse verdict waa very painful to
herself and her attorney.
A memorial statue to Orover Cleveland,
to cost 1,0(,000, Is projected by Chicago
admirers of democracy's winner. A site
for the memorial has not been selected,
but the spot where the "wigwam" stood
In June, 1892, would be an Ideal location.
It has the memories and traditions aulted
to a memorial.
There la a hot time In Old Philadelphia
just now. Tbe traction combine abolished
"six fares for a quarter, restricted trans
fers and In other waya effected a squeeze
Which will net from COOO.OOO to 14.000,000 a
year. Public indignation overiiows in
double-leaded editorials warm enough to
scorch the whiskers of the magnates. They
are not aaylng a word. Too raisy taking
In the extra money.
SECULAR SHOTS AT THE PULPIT.
Boston Herald: Those clergymen whose
dabbling In margins Is revealed by the
bouks of a bankrupt firm of stock brokers
In New York can hardly plead that they
were feeding the lambs.
Chicago Inter-Ocean": A Newark (N. J.)
preacher made the women In his church
take off their hats Sunday on ths ground
that he wanted to see his congregation.
Ha apparently hasn't the slightest Idea of
what a woman's hat Is for.
Louisville Courier-Journal: Bishop Moore,
presiding at the Methodist Episcopal con
ference at Cincinnati, said: "For a woman
of moderate means to pay $48 or $35 or Just
tit for the plain hat without trimmings. Is
absolute wickedness. Why, ona Easter hat
could buy an entire clerical outfit.' Gently,
bishop, gently; what about the ahovel hats
and the galtersT
New York Tribune: A canvass which
the Federation of Churchea Is conducting
In Harlem discloses that out of 12,000 fami
lies, or about 60,000 persons, more than
half have no "church home." Of the
Hebrew families 80 per cent attend no
church or synagogue. Of the Catholic
families 12 per cent and of the Protestant
families S3 per cent have no church. This
census discloses the estent to which ab
solute non-attendance at churchea prevails.
Statistics aa to regular and Irregular at;
tendance are not presented, but they would
probably disclose the slight hold the
churches have upon many of the s.OPJ
families recorded as having a "church
home" Out of the 11.638 Interviewed. Thosa
(.0(2 represent all grades of attendance
families, for example, which go to church
Infrequently, families of which the adults
rarely or never go, while the children go
to Sunday school; families whose women
go, but whose men do pot, aa well as the
moat regular attendants at all the services.
With this allowance the figures confirm
the common observation about the wide
spread lack of Interest in churches today.
Open a Charge Account al Mandclberg's 1
; N L ,i
DIAMONDS
I make specialty of
selling popular priced dia
monds, watches and Jew
elry, ad by taking; advan
tage of my enjr payment
plan other desirable ar
ticle are placed
Within the
Reach of All.
135.00
1 a week buys
this Ring.
ANOTHER rOINT There's rarely an occasion where
quality for quality and slxe for else Is considered, that the
prices I sell Diamonds for on Credit are not less than others
dealers ask you for Cash. Remember, we will Credit you.
t-""1':,
SEBMOXS BOILED DOWN.
No man knowa truth who wants to pat
ent It.
The way to ba faithful to truth la to
follow It.
Faith never travels far when It forgets
the facts.
Every gift la measured by Its real coat to
the giver.
The greatest verities are found by loy
alty to small truths.
The baggage car does not go through on
the heavenly train.
The large hearted always aee large quali
ties In their friends.
Riches become dangerous only when
rooted In our affections.
A good deal of public generosity hides a
lot of private meanness.
Whatever Is given by the hand Is more
than gained by the heart.
Every man's view of this world Is better
for his being blind to some of It.
It often happens that the punishment we
think is remitted Is only ripening.
It takes mora than Sunday dreams of
heaven to make a heavenly week.
The only way to fill the harvester's
wagon Is to empty the sower's bag.
Some people have a way of praying for
others that make them prefer cursing.
The meek who Inherit the earth do not
get their title to It by crawling In the dust.
Soma seem to think the best evi
dence of being the salt of the earth is
ability to make folka smart. Chicago Trio
una. DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES.
"My wife Is awfully good to me."
"Lucky man. How doea she show It?"
"She lets me spend all the money I save
by shaving myself to buy base ball tick
ets." Cleveland Leader.
"A case of love at first sight, eh?"
"No, second sight. The first time he aaw
her he didn't know she waa an heiress."
Boston Transcript.
Family Physician The trouble with your
husband, madam. Is that he has overdrawn
his account at the bank of vitality.
Mrs. Cayman I felt sure he waa deceiv
ing me about something. Doctor, 1 give you
my word I never knew he had any account
there." Chicago Tribune.
"la June the favorite month for mar
riages out here, too?" asked the New York
lady.
"I don't think eo," replied the Chicago
woman. "I have been married six tlmea In
other months, and only twice In June."
Yonkera Statesman.
"You want a Job?"
"Yes, sir."
"Experienced ?"
"Yes, sir."
"How much pay do you want?
"About Jino a week."
"What!?!?"
"That's what I want. About $S60 Is
what I expect." Cleveland Leader.
"In requesting your daughter's hand,"
said Count Fuoash, "I may atate that I
have a long line "f ancestors "
"I see," answered Mr. Cumrox ; "and
your proposition Is to trade off the lot of
your ancestors for a few rich relations "
Washington Star.
"I suppose." said the casual acquaint
ance the day after the wedding, "It waa
hard to loee your daughter."
"No," replied tha bride's father. "It
Free Piano Selling!
An Evolution at llospe's
Twenty years trial on some pianos, no cash down, on
tome, no freight on many.
Free Stool, Free Scarf, Free Delivery in the city on
all pianos.
$149 buys a brand new up-to-date Piano, in mahog
any case, full Rize, three pedals, Boston fall board, duet
music board. Terms of 16 cents per day.
Boat This If You Can!
The world's best Pianos are subject to your selection
at from $50 to $150 cheaper than the factory's lowest price.
Kranich & Bach, Krakauer, Kimball, Hush & Lane,
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A. HOSPE CO.,
Proof Piano Tuning
sSWWf. I
ON CREDIT
.ToTM
SALT SULPHUR WATER
also the "Crystal Lithium" water from
Excelsior Springs, Mo., in 6-gallon
sealed Jugs.
5- gallon Jug Crystal Llthla Water. .$2
6- gallon Jug Salt-Sulphur water 93.8A
Buy at either store. We sell over 100
kinds mineral water.
Sherman & UcCodmII Drug Go.
Sixteenth and Dodge Sis.
Owl Drug Go.
Sixteenth and Harney Sts.
did seem as If it was going to be hard at
one time, but she landed this fellow Just '
as we were beginning to loet all hope."
Pittsburg Observer.
"Are you going to celebrate Mother's
day?"
"Of course."
"Going to wear a white rose and go to a
picnic?"
"Is your mother going?"
"Of course not, ahe has to stay home and
do the houtework and take care of the
baby." Houston Post.
WHAT THE ENGINES SAID.
(At Promontory Point, May 10. im.)
What waa it the Engines said
Pilots touching head to hoad.
Facing on ths single track.
Half a world behind each rmck? 1
This Ik what the Engines said,
Unreported and unread.
With a prefatory screech.
In a florid western speech.
Bald the Engine from the West,
I am rroni sierras crest;
And. if altitude's a test.
Why, I reckon, It's confessed,
That I've done my level best."
Said tho Engine from the Eaat,
"They who work best talk the leaat,
B'pose you whistle down your brakea;
What you've done Is no great Hhakes,
Pretty fair but let our meeting
Be a different kind of greeting.
I.et those folks with 'champagne stuffing.
Not their Engines, do the puffing.
"Listen! Where Atlantic beats
Shores of anow and aummer heats;
Where the Indian autumn skies
raJnt the woods with wampum dyes,
have chased the flying sun.
Seeing ail he lookeid upon,
Blessing all that he has blest.
Nursing In my Iron breast
All his vivifying heat.
All his clouds about my crest;
And hefore my flying feet
Every shadow must retreat.",
Said the Western Engine. "Phew!"
And a long, low whistle blew.
"Come now, really that'a the oddest
Talk for one so very modest.
You brag of your Rast! You do? aw
Why. I bring the Et to you!
All the Orient, all Cathay,
Find through me the shortest way;
And the aun you follow here
Rises In my hemisphere.
Really if one must be rude
Length, my friend, ain't longitude."
Bald the Union, "IVm't reflect, or
I'll nin over some Director."
Bald the Central, "fni Pacific.
But, when riled, I'm oulte trr!flo.
Yet today we shall not quarrel.
Just to show the.se folks this moral.
How ! Engines In their vtnton
Once have met without collision."
That la what the Engines said
I'nreported and unread:
Broken slightly through tha none.
With a whistle at the oloee
BRET HARTH.
1513 DOUGLAS ST.
and Repairing.
$25.00
$1 a week buys
this Ring.
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