fttew Aspects of the , . , , 1l HOW PUFJ (Copyrltht, 1909, by Frank Q. Carpenter.) .EOUU Korea, 1. (Special Cor- s reapondence to The Bee.) How would you like to be a bone everlastingly fought over by angry dogs? This has boen the position of Korea In the past, LJ ahd It will probably be ao In the future. The, country lies at Juirt the right plane td.be the battlefield of three nations. It hangs down like a great nose on the east face of Asia, Its bottom almost touching the hungry.' overcrowded empire of Japan. Ita 'top ends at Manchuria, beyond which ' If Siberia, with her Pacific ports, Icebonnd half the year round and needing it for an outlet to the warm open seas. On the west la China, with Its vast horde of almond 5ed subjects, who are Just beginning to adopt the modern civilization and will soon covet the world. All of these powers would Ifke.to chew at the bone of Korea. 'The Chinese dog Is still too weak to more than narl at !t. and Russia, for the time, has been driven back by the Iron teeth of Japan. The sweej morsel now lies In the paws of the latter, and she Is wondering whether she dare eat It or not. -4- Korea's Put TnahlM. 'Korea has been ravaged by Japan and China again and again. The Japanese came here as far back as A. D. 300 and under the Empress Jingo conquered the country. About 100 years after Columbus' discovered America they again overran It ' under their "Monkey-faced General" Hldaynshl, who had taken an army across the strait, Intending to proceed onward to" the conquest of China. I am not aura "uro during . which Invasion lt was that the Korean! took the skins of the Japanese and' used them for -drumheads: and the Japanese, in turn, carried back hotne with them . several hundred thousand human ear, which they burled near one of their KVJ ZSr Ly I " , n?22. "tW Chlnsi nraclr ,t iJ. KW un to Z ?w.r 'tnLnanTinr! tVth. right, of the Japanese here. I was ID th country when the war broke out. K. kin, e ... h. ..ni. tribute to - Peking. Tuan-Shl-Kal. who Was consul general from China to Korea, was then practically the dictator of this country', foreign policy, and he had a way of riding with hi. retinue which etiquette and custom prescribe for hi. majesty alone. .After the war, the Japanese took the lead and began to bulldoze Korea. At the same time, Russia drew nearer and nyarm- mo oorm ana Dgnn 10 cnew ,. tVl. at,. i.-.i .v, t..r. nn....! r A,7a f.inH.l! tne jtpanes declared war uwn hernS t. h. ei,i, in m. hurla. which has now thrown Korea into the pawa of Japan. ) v t, (-' ' , Will Japan Eat Korea t V.The live question before the world to- day is whether the great Japanese dog will est this fat and Juicy Korea. I have From the Story Balls Wltnoat Horns. N HI8 "Irish Ufe and Char acter," Michael Macdonagh has a choice collection of bulls. He called on a hairdresser in Kingstown. As he was leav ing the man tried to Induce tilm to buy a bottle of hairwash. "What rt of stuff, I. It?" he asked. "Oh, If. grand .tuff." the man replied. "If. a sort qf multum in parvo the less you take of It. th. better." , 'A' few day. later the writer wa. walk ;)(,' with a friend over the Wlcklow. .mountains, where they met a "character." ''JWell, Mick." said my friend, "I've heard some . queer stories about your doings lately. Och. don't believe thim, suit." replied Mick. "Sure, half the lies tould abu'ut me by the naybours Isn't true." ?Xhe following notice Mr. Macdonagh saw posted In a pleasure boat on the sulr: 'Tha chair, ln tha cabinet are for th JadUa. Gentlemen are requested not to rtiiks use of them till the ladles are I Mated. i . "r" . ,, , , .,. .u- u. .- . n.mg.town newspaper 'Jame. O'M-hony. wine and spirit mer chant. Kingstown, ha. .till on his hands a small quanlty of the whiskey which was drunk by the - Duke of York, while in Dublin." t.V $ t.. Retreat r Never I i In an - Irish garrison town a ' theatrical sompany wa. giving performances, and soroe soldiers from th local barracks were engaged to act aa super., xneir duties in- eluded the waging ot a fierce, fight In Winch, after a stirring struggle, one army was defeated on a given signal from th prompter, ror a tew nignt. all went wen. nut on th Friday evening a special per formance of th plec wa. to be given under, th patronag ot th colonel and other . officer ot th garrison. The two armies met aa usual at th end of the m Jo feronq aci. wneu mey lougni ana lougni mis Mabel," remarked th West Vir and kept on fighting, regardless of th gini,, s-nator. "you hav entirely rolscal gonlaad glar. In th ey of their (actor) culated the length of that chain. I s;ues. aTenerfcl. who hoarsely ordered the proper you don't know how broad Taft 1. a "vs array, to "retreat, confound you." But the the front. Just try tt on me." and th. fjght .till went on, and soon the horrified svnatur pircuird a fairly rotund form, and wuiQagar saw th wrong army being driven It was found that th watch chain would Jowly off th. .tag, atllf flghUng desper- hav stretched Ilk a taut hawser across a,tJy.'. Down cam th curtain amid roar. th. front of th president Upon this uf 'laughter, and th fuming manager measurement five inches were added to th ztastaaad to ask th delinquents why tbey chain In order to mak It fit th presiden ts failed to retreat oa hearing th signal, tlal frontage without causing any lncon- "Retreat. " roared a burly fu.tlller, whoa venienc. , 18 BROUGHT TO CONSUMER. come here to find out, and In these letters nope to tell you or Jut What the morsel constats and all I can learn as to Its prospective mastication, tmrlng the past few months I have been traveling in Japan, and. If hunger Is any Index, then- Is no question but that Korea will even- tually rest In the Japanese stomiuh. Just , now the government Is acting Bomewliat on the humanitarian plan which we have adopted as to the Philippine Islands. This was originated by Prince Ito, and, as far as he and tils assistants can go, It Is be ing carried out ln good faith. The situa tion, however, is such that It Is doubtful whether this can be long continued. Let me give you -one phase of lt In a nutshell. Japan now. has 50,000,000 of tha most Industrious, most aggressive and most entertaining souls upon earth, and to these she Is an-dln Rflftoiin more. In hlrth everv year. All these are confined to a country about the slzo of California, a country so mountainous that Its good farming land Is only 12,000.000 acres. Collected ln one place, It would be about half the size of. Ken- tucky, and this small area Is now support- Ing the whole fifty millions. If all the land were divided equally there would only be one-quarter acre per head and the hold ings all told average less than two acres ln slse. Suppose you were to cut our farmers' holdings down to two acres each and put the whole American people Into Kentucky, you would have about the condl- tlons that prevail ln Japan. At the same time. Imagine that Indiana, Just over the Ohio river, had a more fertile soil and that " wawnair tinea, witn mucn lana lying .. .. . ...... h . . . ... . . ... vacant! could anyone Keep tne Kentucky man out of It? Javanese Immigration. Ja am, Korea Tne whch fl between tne countries can be crossed In a ht- ana today -the Japanese are emlgrat- ,n gradually taking Po-ei.lon of this territory which they have Thr e tna offlclals and Rrmy, 160.000 of them on the ground, and they are raoldly chanrirut the face of the country. They have their settlement. In all the large centers. I found Fusan a new city when I landed there a few weeks ago. Instead of mud huts, thatched with straw, runrlng along dirty alleys, covered with filth, a new Japanese city had arisen. Wide streets, as cloan aa a Dutoh kitchen floor, crossed one another at right angle., run- ng far up the hill.. There were many two - story buildings, and .hop. with all kmu f Koodg- t -j, several miles . - .- - . through business streets of one kind and "n0ther' pR8Bed 'VenU "ch00lB and bl city Duuuing, ana nnauy stopped at three - story structure which proved to be a commercial museum, containing every va- riety of goods, both Japanese and Korean. lh(re were sample, of Korean cotton and Korean silk, and many suggestion, to the native, as to how they might develop their country. Teller's Pack visage had been badly battered, "and la lt retrate ye'd have us, wld the colonel and all the officer, in the boxsT"-4adon Tkl-Blts. Making; it Plain. In the course of his sermon a preacher In a rural district used the word phe nomenon. This word caused one of tho memebera stime trouble, for he was unable to attach any meaning to lt. Finally, he determined to seek an explanation from the minister, and at 'he close of the serv ice approached him on the subject. "What did you mean by that there long word yer used In yer rermon?" he began. - "Oh, I see you do not know what a phenomenon Is," replied the minister. "Well have you ever seen a cow grazing in a field in which thistles were .growing?" , "Yes; many a time." "That la not a phenomenon. And no doubt you have often listened to a lark singing merrily away up in the clouds?" "Yes." "Tnat, again is not a phenomenon. But If you saw that cow sitting on a thistle ,-, ,ke ,.,k thtU woula . pheno- menon Cleveland Leader. Blse of Tnft'a Vest. It would naturally be supposed that a woman who knows President Taft as well as Miss Mabel Board man would have been the right person to select a present for th. executive. Tha "Tafters." that IsAh. party that made the trip with Taft to the Philip pines, decided to give the president a watch and chain. Miss Boardmau was e- iece(1 t0 procure the present. Tlle watch W(1. , .ub.tntiaj one) lt .hould be for a man like the president. ani lh. cha!n WM on. of neavy old link chains which stretch, from on. vest pocket to another across tha front of th. wearer, relate, the St. Loots Star. Before presentation was made one ot th "Tafters," Senator 8cott of West Virginia, called at the Boardman house and was shown th watch and chain. "Look her. Hermit Kingdom Under Influence of the i - i A."! ' 1 v - At ' Talku, a city of 60,000. a hundred miles furtTier north, there la another large Japanese settlement, and Japanese cities have sprung up at Pyengyang and Gensan. pyengyang Is the biggest town between P(H)Ul 9Tii the Talu prev0UB t0 tne japan- chln. lt contttln.d an non nennl. and It now tne thr(J IarKest clty ln the empre. It lies on the right bank of the Tatdong river, some distance Inland from the sea, and Its situation Is such that some think It will eventually be the blaaeBt town ln Corea. It has already ln the neighborhood of 10.000 Jananeaa settler.. n,1 . seetlnn devoted to them has been laid out near the station and Is fast building up. Public buildings have- been erected. The Dal- Ichil Glnko has erected a new bank build- '"K cloae to the gate and the settlement has a city hall, a clubhouse, a theater and a government hospital. Schools for both JTanese and Coreans are going up and the dry bones of the natives are beginning to m,w the changes. There are now between 6,000 and 10.000 aPnese at Gensan on the west coast. "' nere a 20,000 or more here at Seoul, wltn another large settlement at Chemulpo. on the Yellow sea. twentv-slx miles away. More than 30,000 Immigrants came In last year and the prospects are for a steady Increase from now on. This Is especially so from the fact that a big colonization company, backed by the gov- "nmeni. "aa een rormea In Japan. .This na capital ' of $5,000,000. and it will ex- P,oU tno crown lands which were taken rnirva n r iihrtn. v a i i . , " -. .ii vuuumuiis vy mo .linii,... c t .v.. .ui .i a l. - 1 uj.-nun ui mm oiu emperor now almost two years ago. S Look mi Corea. But first let mt give you a bird's-eye view of Corea. The peninsula Is ot about th aame a"aP Florida, and Its area f " out that of Kansas. It is a. 'ng from north to south a. from New ork to Cleveland and in some place, a. Tha coun try lie. Jus opposite our eastern tata n the otner sloe of the globe. If I 00,1,(1 VTt a hole right through the earth from "here I now am and had the right sort of glass I might see the American un within a short distance of New York city. The latitude is Just about the same a. that of Boston, New York.. Philadelphia and Washington, and the climate la better than ours. For the greater part of the year the skies are aa blue as those of Colorado, and then it rain, for two or three months, off and on, giving a plentiful sup- P'V of water for crops. If the mountains - ' - had not been sklnrd of their timber the r8jnfaU " 'UCh tHat they m'Kht be CUlt'" W. C. T. T HAS been Omaha's privilege to entertain many distin guished women, but few among them have enjoyed tho world-wide distinction of Mrs. Lillian M. N. Stevens of Portland, Me., and Miss Anna Gordon of Evanston, 111., president and vice presi dent of the National Woman's Christian Temperance union, who spent a part of last week and the week before ln the city.' A few years ago they took up the work that Frances Wlllard laid down be cause they, through their long and close association with her, were deemed beat fitted to carry on and carry out the plans she had so wisely laid ln the work for temperance. Mrs. Stevena 1. a woman of exceptional executive ability. She has the kindliness and the firmness that, combined with thorough knowledge of parliamentary law and quick Judgment, make the admirable presiding officer. She is also one of the comparatively few women who possess all th. essential, of the successful public 1 . w. C. T. It. COMMITTEE THAT INSPECTED THB OMAHA AUDITORIUM IN CONVENTION. THE OMAIIA SUNDAY BEE: MAY 'r . - --.--,.--. t rixwnNO II KOREA. vated clear to. their tops, and by reforesta- tlon auch farming- will probably be done. Land ot Moaatslni. . Corea, like Japan, Is a land of moun tains, but the mountains are less steep and there are more broad, open valleys. There Is a range which runs north and south from Manchuria to the Strait of Corea, with spurs branching off here and there. The range Is not lofty. There are but few peaks a mile above the sea, and he highest of them all is only 8,000 feet. This Is Mount PaJk-To-Ban. an extinct volcano, whose crater Is filled with water. forming a beautiful lake of unknown depth. The average hills are below the altitude of the Blue Ridge In Virginia, and some slope off Into plains, All of these mountains were at one time 'eIl wooded There were forests from one nd of the peninsula to the other, and the farms rar. up the sides of the hills. Today In the central and lower parts of Corea the tops of the ridges are as bare as the desert of Sahara, and there. Is only a thin growth of pines on the sides. This Is so all the way from Fusan to Seoul. Right here at the capital, which lies In a hasln surrounded by mountains, the most ot the llla are a" nare aa the Rockies, nd the clay has been washed down )nlo ,ne valleys. Trees will grow easily, but tne people skit the mountains year after 'T "-ry vegemiun in oraer hat 11 may be used for fuel. First they cut down the tree- ter they chop nwnv rnn Hnrnui nnn vn mi vrnwrn a n n - " flnollv null im Ihm mramm until tha OAtintro - - looks as though It had been plowed over. f over by men and women. The clods are How Corea Keep. Warm. broken up with mallets, which the peo- At this writing the street, of Seoul are pie swing back and forth as they, walk filled with bullocks, ponies and men loaded through the furrows. TheTe Is no machln with fuel which they havV brought Into ' ry of any kind." "The grain Is all sowed the city for sale. Porters go along with hy hand. It Is threshed with flails and cartloads of evergreen branches fastened winnowed In the wind, the grain and chaff to the llta-v. a sort of framework which being thrown" high Into the air. they wear upon their backs. Bullocks by scores are entirely covered with bundle, of similar fuel. A single animal will carry almost 1,000 pounds, or as much as one horse could haul In a cart ln our country. Indeed, the load Is so large that you could not put it into an American cart. Tt rises six or eight feet above the back of the Im 1 1 1 rf r gnH hanoi Hjtm.n nn Ih. al.l.. .1. mQKt to feet tnat one we(1 llttle more than his head, tall and hoofs an he goes along the road. There are ponies carrying wood, chorped Into stove lengths and tied up In bundles, and men laden with charcoal which has been made In the hills. ins cnii-i uirm oi neaiing nere is Dy fes. which run under the floor, and straw twlB" and Plne branches are excellent for The chief form of heating here Is by U. Convention Committee speaker. Convincing and eloquent, she also has a voice of rare carrying quality til at may be heard by thousands. But Miss Anna Gordon, more than any one else, perhaps, came closest Into the life of Miss Wlllard. A Bostonlan by birth, a. a young woman still In her teens her association with the organizer of the World's Woman's Christian Tem perance union began. A. Miss Willard's secretary and constant companion -he was trained Into the work she has as sumed as head of the Loyal Temperance legion, the children's branch of the or ganization. Rest. Cottage, Miss Wlllard'. home at Evanston, at her death reverted to Miss Gordon for her lifetime and after that becomes the property of the organ ization. This Miss Gordon maintains Just as Miss Wlllard left lt and thousands of people visit lt. The National Woman's Christian Temperance union headquarters are maintained under ylie same roof, though In a separate and newly con structed building. It Includes twelve room, and house., beside, the records of 0 2, 1900. ' ""- ...- -M. 7y ' " '""J;-.n"ri- .. . . this purpose. A bunch Is put In at the entrance of the flues and lighted, and Its flames spread out, making the floors hot almost to roasting. One of the first works of the Japanese will be to stop this skinning of the moun tains. They will plnnt trees as fast as possible upon the available hills, thus con serving the rainfall and greatly lncreiislng the land susceptible to cultivation. ' They have already planted model foTests ln the vicinity of Seoul, Pyengyang and Talku, Bn(1 as oon aa tlle nurseries are In good hPe ePn the program to other parts of the country. Farms ot Corea. Today most of the farms of Corea are confined to the valleys. The area being cultivated Is Just about half that which Is tilled ln Japan, and If It were as In- tenslvely farmed lt wo 000,000 people Instead of would he feeding less than 15,000,- 000. as now. I am told that the soil here Is naturally much better than that of Ja pan, but I doubt If the product Is one fourth as large. The farmers fertilize but little and they know nothing of artificial manures. During a recent trip over the country I saw men carrying manure from the villages to the fields on their backs, and farther on bullocks were used for the purpose, the stuff being loaded Into baskets of straw rope which hung down on each side of the animal. Everywhere the . methods of cultivation were crude. The plows were little more than forked sticks shod with Itoo. They , . . . . . are one-nanaieu niiairs, arawn Dy dui-- .-j....- - ... , - ... iocks, reminding one oi me piows or me scriptures. Much of the country Is hoed The contrast between the country scenes of Japan and Coiea is striking. Everything ln the former country shines with thrift. There is not a weed in the fields, the houses are neat and well built and the people clean and rosy from the hot baths they take every day. All farm ing here Is done ln the most slovenly way. The methods of taxation and squeezing have been such as to leave but little Incentive to work, and the hulk of the profits have gone to the officials. The farmhouses are mean. They are scfiialld huts of mud and stone with roofs of straw thatch tied on with strings. They are collected together in llttle villages which often nestle on the sides of the hills. There are no trees or gardens about them. Every home Is surrounded the organization, a working force of twenty or more which carries on its business. In her mildness and gentleness of man ner Miss Gordon is not unlike Miss Wlllard. Her work for children is a work of true love and her success in leading hundreds of little folks ln temperance demonstrations has been remarkable. Mrs. Stevens and Miss Gordon visited Omaha to confer with the local commit tee regarding the entertatnment of the National Woman's Christian Temperance union convention next October. Monday morning, with the committee, they In spected the Auditorium, suggesting ar rangement that would hare to be made for the great gathering of women. In the afternoon they addressed a big meet ing of club women at the First Congre gational church. The local entertainment committee In cludes: Mrs. Louis Borshelm, Mrs. George Tllden, Mrs. Edward Johnson, Mrs. R. Scott Hyde, Mrs. Eaton and Mrs. Elmer Thomas, m CONNECTION WITH TUB NATIONAL i--p " '--""" "v: -r-- .J ... 'A . ' v L ' 1 4.. v , 1 (k:; KOREAN by a mud wall high enough to keep the men on the streets from looking In at the girls. The streets sre winding alleys, where the garbage of the houses Is thrown out to rot In the sun. Sometimes ditches run along the sides of the streets serving as sewers, and the houses have no sani tary arrangements whatever. The condi tions are so bad that typhoid, cholera and dlsentery are of frequent appearance and smallpox Is almost universal. Nearly every other face one sees Is more or less poc marked. and parents, I am told, do not count their children as permanent possibil ities until after they have had that dis ease. These are some of the conditions of this country which Japan is trying to make over. Land Wltlvont Roads. As to other things, Corea in many re spects Is worse off than the Philippines. There are -practically no roads. The only ways from place to place are by bridle paths with fords across the streams. Now and then one finds a rude bridge, two or three feet wldfc, propped up on poles, and again he has" to make his way over such streams by stepping stones or be carried across on the back rf men. Practically all transportation away from the railroads Is by pack bullocks, ponies and porters. All these carry great loads, and the men will take as much aa 600 pounds at a pinch. There Is a big guild of porters. Hi men are found in every city and village and can be seen everywhere carrying great ltiads over the country. One of the first things that the Japanese will do will bo to make wagon" roads, and military highways, connecting all parts of Corea. I understand they sre building some now, and that four main lines are to be constructed. A number of new rail roads have been planned and several started. This Is In sdditlon to the 600 mile line now In operation. At present, Japan is so poor thst It cannot push this fea ture of Its work, but It Is Its Intention to extend the railroads at the earliest possible time. People of Corea, I have space here for only a word about the people of Corea, They are among the queerest and most Interesting of the Asiatic races and have great possibilities. One on the STATELY old professor was sp proached by a young student I ot.e day In one of the western I colleges. Trying hard to keep jHjj back a smile, the young mm "Profeasor. you say you are an expert at solving riddles, don't you?" "I claim that I am, my boy." "Well, then, can you tell me why a man who has seen London on a foggy day and a man who has not seen London on a foggy day are like a ham sandwich?" The professor studied for a long time, venturing several answers which proved to be wrong. Finally, at his wit's end, be aid: "I give it up." "It's easy," said the other. "Give It lip," repeated the professor. ' "Why," was the reply, "one has seen the mist and the other has missed the scene. Ha, ha! Catch on?" "Of course I do, you lunatic! But what has the sandwich got to do with It?" After the youngster hsd recovered from a pell of laughter he chuckled: "Oh, that's what you bite on." Circle Magazine. A French Compliment. Wit Illumines one of the dueling stories In Monsieur Ronzler-Dorclere's recent book. "Sur le Pre." Prince Pierre Bonaparte and a French gentleman, Monsieur de la Valette, fought 'with pistols. Monsieur de la Valette fired first and missed. The prince fired, hit De la Valette Just above the belt, but did not mound him, owing to a 6-franc piece In his wslst eoat pocket, against which the bullet was flattened. "Sir," said Prince Bonaparte to his ad versary, holding out his hand, "let us make friends, and allow me to congratulate you on the forealght with which you have In vested your money." Youth's Companion. Ualy the Kit Can Wed. That they ar physically and morally fit to wed Is what prospective brides and bridegrooms In the state of Washington will have to show by physhlans' certifi cates and affidavits after Juu 1 befoi any county auditor can Issue marriage licenses. The new law provides also that women must be of legal age, fixed at 18 years, and men a years; also that th. parent cannot glv consent uoleM th girl U mor than U year, of ag. D Japanese l iT7 ..;.,yS;: PORTERS. As to tholr number, a census wa. taken some time ago and the count made 10.0OV 000. They have been so squeezed and ground down by taxation, however, that they will not give out the full number of souls In each house, and the probability Is that there are many more than were counted. A fair estimate, I am told, would be 14.000,000. The Coreans themselves esti mate the population at 20.000,000, but their figures are ot little value, aa they have no basis to go on. The most of these people live In villages such as I have described. There are nn very large cities. Seoul has now pertiHps SK0.000, although the census gave It only about 200,000, Pyengyang has 80,000, Talku 60,000, and after that come Chemulpo, Fu san, Gensan and Snngdo. Social Conditions. The people are divided into classes, and, formerly, the emperor and the nobility owned most of the lands and held all the oTfices. They have been the curse of the country and have squeezed the others un mercifully. The nobility until now have gope about dressed in silks and fin. grass cloths, with a lot of retainers about them. They have had coolies with them to hold tip their arms as. they walked, and If they. Tode, a servant would go along on each side of the horse to see that they did not fall from the saddle. They did absolutely no work and considered lt a disgrace to carry a bundle. The boys who went to th modern school, established by th emperor, took servants along with them to carry their pencils and paper, and some tramped to the school building through the rain, lie cause they would not endure tha disgrace of carrying an umbrella. This sentiment prevails somewhat todsy. although it Is fast disappearing. By the coming in of the Japanese the most of the nobility have lost their fat Incomes and the farmers and common people are now to have a better show. It Is claimed that they are being oppressed by the Japanese, but their condition cannot possibly be as bad as it has been In the past and the dawn of freedom seems to be breaking. The Japanese are establishing courts ln the cities, and they propose to thoroughly re organize the government of the provinces as well as that here at Seoul. FRANK G. CARPENTER. Professor The penalty for giving false information or performing such marriage is a fine ol not more than $1,000 or Imprisonment in the state penltentisry for not more than three years, or both. It is also provided that no woman under 46 years of ago or man of any age, ex cept he marry a woman ot more than 45 years, either of whom Is a common drunkard, habitual drunkard, epileptic, feeble-minded. Idiot or insane person, or formerly afflicted with hereditary Insanity, or is afflicted with, pulmonary tuberculosis, or any contagious disease, sball Intermarry or marry any other person within the state. . One on tu ttrgnlar. During the encampment of several regi ments of British soldiers fn a certain din trie t the wood and turf used for cooking purposes were carted by the neighboring farmers. One day a donkey cart full of turf was brought In, the driver being a country lad. Aa a regimental band was playing he stood In front of the donkey and held the animal tightly by the head. Some of the "smart ones" gathered round highly pleased, and 'the wit of th party asked why he "held his brother so tightly." , . . The reply wa. crushing: "I'm afraid h might enlUt." . ' Secretary Wilson, of the Department of Agriculture, said the other day of a certain farmer: "He is now profiting by t lie department a advice, but he was very stupid at the be ginning. He farmed as a Philadelphia woman, one spring season, planted her garden. "The woman's husband cime home and found her poring over a seed catalogue. She had a long list of seeds written on a Sheet of paper. " 'This as a list, my dear,' she sal !, that I want you to buy for me tomonow at the scedtnan'a.' "Her husband looked at the list. Then he laughed loud and long. " 'You want these flowers to bloom th: su.umer, dou'l ou? said ht. " 'Yes, of course. ' " 'Well, those you have put down here don't bloom till the second summer.' " 'Oh, that's all right,' the lady aaiu. easily.' " 'All right? How Is It all rlghtr . " 'I am making up my list,' sh. rs phUnedT 'from a, last year'. oataJogua' X