TIIE OMAILV SUNDAY BEE: ' FEBRUARY. 21, 1909.
TNe Omaiia Sunday Be&
POUNDED BT EDWARD ROSKWATER
' VICTOR R08BWATER. EDITOR.
Rntered at. Omaha poctofflce "
ela matter.
y TERM". OP SUBSCRIPTION.
Pally withmit ftundsy). one Jr,r"'-
Daily i and Sunday, ona year
', PKLIVKRFD BT CARRIER.
TUtty Fee tlneludlng Bunday), Pr w'K--;!5
tWly Bre (without Bunday . Pr weea...loo
Evening Px (without BundayV per wr",2
tfrr.nlng Hm (with BundayJ, rer wm",-,m
Ailrdav Bee. ona year J
8-ln1y flee, ona vear -
Adriresa all eomplalnte of Irregularities in
dellrery to City Clrrulatlon Department .
'' OFF! CBS.
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ftouth Omaha Twenty-fourth and
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' CORRESPONDENCE.
Communications relating .to news ana fn
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REMITTANCES. ,
Remit by .draft. express or postal order
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,. 8TATEMKNT OF CIRCULATION.
Ptete of Nebraska. Douglas County. SS.S.
Oeoraro B. Tsechuck. treaaurar of The
Bee Publishing cempany. being duly
-worn, says that the actual number of
full and complete ' copies of The Dally.
Morning. Evening and Sunday Bee printed
during ike meath of January. 10. w"
fellow.
l...........so.. It ..88,100
l sajao it M.6M
88,300 1 88380
4, 38.180 " !0.....r.... 88.09O
1 88.010 tl 88,180
t... ....... 87.880 . St 88,030
f 88,400 It 88,880
I... ....... C8.3M U 8700
. 88,400 U.... 89,010
1 88,800 tt 38,030
II 8810 IT 88,840
II 88,170 II 38,890
It. 71,690 2t 39,030
It... 38,870 10 38,000
It 38.890 tl 87,700
It: 38,330 .
.Total.....'. 1,198,139
Less unsold and returned copies. .10,410
.Net total. .1,189,714
Dally average.... 38,3 44
" . ,' OEORQK B. TZSCHUCK.
1 Treasurer.
' Subscribed In my presence and aworn to
before m this Id day of February, 1909.
.ttieal) ' - M. P. WALKER. .
Notary Public
j WHBIf OCT OF TOWS,
',. beevtbera laavlas tke city teas .
Iierarlly ahoalil hare Tke Bee
taall4 to thea. Addreea will be
'ckaxaTe4 aa aftea aa reaeste4.
. The Taft cabinet ought to be in the
polish;; stage by this time.
; Only ten daya remain for you to be
prominently mentioned . as a cabinet
possibility.
Mr. Bryan-doubtless knows one big
run that cannot be silenced by the
Maxim invention: ' '
- Mr. Knox Is certainly to be secretary
: state Instead of a secretary In a
state of uncertainty.
Horse 'racing has been abolished In
California, but Jap .racing remains
one of the favorite sports.
0 "California listens to reason," says
the Philadelphia Inquirer. California
U always doing something novel. .
New Mexico has been seeking state
hood for' fifty years and would proba
bly be greatly surprised to get It. -
.- Harmony and ' home ( rule do not
seem to be on speaking terms with the
Douglas county democrats at Lincoln.
Chicago pays Its aldermen $3,000 a
year, but there , is a suspicion that
some of them . really get more than
that.
Guess Kansas, must be finally en
forcing Its prohibition laws. About
fc.OQO drug stores In the state ' are
offered for sale. '
, ."The Bible in this city , is a closed
book," says a New York mlniater. The
Bible Is the exception, then, in that
wide-open town.
v- President Roosevelt has been pre
sented with a demijohn of thirty-year-old
Kentucky whisky. There are
snakes' in Africa. ''
' Nebraska hardware men had a good
time while In Omaha, and are urged
to call again. Such gatherings are al
ways welcome here.'
; Many members of congress are still
favoring a sea level canal, perhaps Just
to show that they are in favor of
something on the level.
Idle freight cars are going to work
it the rate of 5,000 a week. The cars
have been without visible means of
. support forsome months.
? An Eskimo lad Is leading his classes
In New York and an Indian has won
th Canadian Rhodes scholarship. That
' must mean some kind of a peril. '
A" scientist insists that snakes can
Intoxicate .themselves. This opens a
f)eld for choice between a snake with
i Jag and a Jag with the snakes.
,",.The report that, Senator "Jeff','. Davis
Of Arkansas snubbed ;"FJghtlng Bob"
fevans must - be erroneous. Admiral
Brans picks folks he-allows to snub
nlm.
. ; n iiiuiv uvw Piiape are urging
the "pushing of the auditorium
project." Washington's - auditorium
roi as alow It aa Kansas CMtv'a nntnn
.depot. -
"Anyway, President Lincoln was no
.Yankee,? ' says . the - Charleston News
and Courier. The south Is almost
ready to admit that Mr. Lincoln was
'human. ,
. Maxim Oorky is probably sorry that
;he la compelled to remain In Italy for
-his health and will be unable to an
swer that warrant for his arrest Issued
br the Russian authorities
TUOBK CABXSOIK TEWSOJVS.
In his address to the legislature last
wk Mr. Bryan devoted most of his
energy to denouncing the proposal to
permit professors of the state uni
versity to accept retirement pensions
from the Carnegie foundation. Mr.
Bryan presented several reasons to
support his opposition and to convince
his hearers that he Is actuated solely
by considerations springing from 8 de
sire to protect the university from the
withering blight of subserviency to
tainted money. Yet none of the rea
sons set forth seem to be quite con
clusive. .
The Carnegie money cannot be so
terribly tainted with ill-gotten gains
as to stain the hand that takes It be
cause did not Mr. Bryan himself only
a few years ago successfully solicit
that same Carnegie money for a
llbrarjr for Lincoln, which he delights
to call "Bryan's town," which money
was accepted and spent and none of It
returned?
Mr. Carnegie, himself, cannot be the
embodiment of malevolence and evil,
which would make him an enemy of
the republic, as painted by Mr. Bryan,
because was not Mr. Bryan less than
a year ago mingling socially with Mr.
Carnegie and posing with him for a
Joint photograph for mutual advertise
ment? A contribution from a rank outsider,
printed in the current number of Mr.
Bryan's Commoner, If not with express
approval at least without disfavor,
may suggest the real motive underly
ing Mr. Bryan's attitude. This con
tributor, addressing Mr. Bryan, says:
Tou are exactly right as to the Car
negie fund for teachers and your logic
la food, but you 'fall to touch the key
note when speaking on the aubject of
pensions to teachers. The only pension
In America, that can consistently with
our American form' of government be
granted. Is to the citlien who Is forced
or called' to take up hla gun In defense
of the government and he only on -condition-
that such forced service results In
his physical Injury so that when return
ing to, private citizenship his. ability to
earn a living has been impaired by such
service. A professor or teacher - la no
more ' entitled to, and there Is' ho more
authority for giving him or her, a pen
sion than to their washerwoman'.
Can It be that Mr. Bryan regards
the pensioning of teachers out of
either public or private funds as tend
ing to create a privileged class at va
riance with his teachings of democ
racy? Would Mr. Bryan oppose the
Carnegie pensions Just as vehemently
If Mr. Carnegie were dead and the
Imagined danger of evil influence by
the donor thus averted? Are pensions
of any and every kind . inconsistent
with the principles of a pure democ
racy as conceived by Mr. Bryan? '
If so, thla Is a broader question by
far than the acceptance or rejection of
the invitation to put the University of
Nebraska on the accredited list of-Institutions
to participate in the Car
negie fund foundation.
CABINET OFFICERS AS PRESIDENTS.
In the early daya of the republic the
people apparently believed that the
best presidential timber could be
found among the men who had served
in the cabinet and thus secured a
knowledge of governmental affairs
from the Inside. Thomas Jefferson
served In Washington's cabinet, James
Madiaon in Jefferson's, James Monroe
in Madison's, John Qulncy Adams in
Monroe's, Martin Van Buren In Jack
son's and James Buchanan In Polk's.
General Grant served a brief term In
Johnson's cabinet, but his service was
hardly long enough to figure In the
political record and his selection 'to
the presidency was not due in any de
gree to his cabinet service.
Since President Buchanan's time the
people have successively chosen their
president outside the cabinet until the
election of Mr. Taft. In fact, with
the exception of Mr. Garfield and Mr.
McKlnley, our presidents for the last
fifty years have been men who prior
to their election had had no experience
In national political affairs. Mr. Taft
is the first president since Buchanan
to be promoted from the cabinet and
he comes to the office with a record of
high official duty under two presidents
and a close and intimate knowledge of
the entire government program of the
past eight years, an advantage that
will prove highly valuable both to him
and to the country.
THE FLEETS HOME-COMIXO.
The American battleship fleet Is ex
pected to drop anchor In Hampton
Roads tomorrow, after having steamed
about 45,000 miles, nearly twice the
distance around the earth at the, equa
tor, and having accomplished the
greatest naval feat . in history. It
should be a matter of pride to all
Americans that the fleet has accom
plished thia remarkable cruise without
the impairment of any of its strength
or efficiency and, according to wireless
reports, Is ready to go Into action at a
minute's notice against the naval force
of any nation on earth and not at all
alarmed about a triumphant Issue from
such meeting.
' It is Interesting now to recall the
predictions of disaster that were made
when the fleet-weighed anchor In
Hampton Roads some sixteen months
ago for its world-encompassing voyage.
Alleged naval experts and magaslne
muck rakers were confident that the
battleships would be wrecked In
rounding the Horn, or, if they survived
that ordeal, would be so worn and
hacked by, the Journey that they would
be ready for the scrap heap when they
returned to an Atlantic port. If they
ever got back. It was predicted, too,
the Japanese would look upon the voy
age as an open threat to their Interests
In the Pacific and that the entire Jour
ney would be a flaunting of defiance to
the nations of the world. The officers
and 'men of the fleet have been ten
dered ovations at every point in the
cruise and have won the good will
and friendship of every civilised
power. Their cruise has been one
succession of victories of peace, ot tri
umphs without bloodshed and the
physical worthiness of the vessels and
the men behind the guns has been
abundantly demonstrated.
The world now knows that If the
American navy Is not the largest that
floats. It takes second rank to none In
high efficiency. The cruise has for
nlshed the world an object lesson In
American might and there Is every
reason to believe that the world Is let
ter perfect In the lesson.
RErrBEAfEWr OF presidext AXQELL.
The announcement that President
Angell of the University of Michigan
will retire from active work at the
head of that great institution at the
close of the current academic , year
foreshadows an event of equal Import
ance In the educational world to the
recent retirement of President Eliot of
Harvard university.
As President Eliot has stood for a
quarter of a century in the very front
rank of educators in the east, so Pres
ident Angell has for an equal period
ot time occupied the first place among
the educators of the west. Starting In
as executive head of thte University of
Michigan in 1871 at the age of 42, he
has guided the destinies of that won
derful seat of learning continuously
until he Is now ready to retire at the
ripe old age of 80, with Michigan still
holding' its own as the premier . of
American state universities.
It is doubtful If any other living
man has exerted such a forceful influ
ence for good by personal contact at
the formative period on as' many
young men and women who make up
the citizenship of this country today
as President Angell, and It is safe to
say that every one of them regard him
with a respect and sense of obligation
as to. a' second father providing for
his children. This influence has been
exerted through a kindly and be
neficent character over and above the
highest scholastic attainments and effi
cient executive and administrative
ability.
President Angell is entitled to be
congratulated on having been privi
leged to retire at the completion of a
full and useful career with the mag
nificent tribute to his services con
ferred upon him by the creation of an
honorary position in the university for
him to occupy for the remainder of his
days. .
BUREAU FOR DEPENDENT CHILDREN
The steering committees have made
It known that no action will be taken
at this session of congress upon Presi
dent Roosevelt's recommendation for
the establishment of a federal chil
dren's bureau. The excuse Is given'
that congress will not have-time to
deal with anything more; than the
great appropriation bills at this ses
sion and that all other legislation
muBt.walt for . future consideration'.'
There is, however, a considerable op
position to the plan proposed hy the
president, many members of congress
contending that it is a socialistic step
and the undertaking by the govern
ment of work that should be left to
the different states.
The creation of the bureau, with Its
scope limited to the collection and dis
semination of data concerning the na
tion's Juvenile dependents might work
a great good without in any manner
interfering with the rights or duties
of states in caring for their de
pendents. Intelligent workers In this
field of Juvenile reform are seriously
handicapped by a lack of information
concerning the number of dependents
and data concerning desertion, degen
eracy, Juvenile ' illiteracy and the
amount of money appropriated by dif
ferent states and organizations In re
lief and reform work. Obviously a
bureau devoted to this line of Investi
gation could perform a valuable -service
and would not encounter the ob
jections that would beset any action
for federal control or supervision ot
work for dependent children - within
state borders.
IS DIVORCE ALTOGETHER AN EVIL1
The discussion of divorce at the re
cent meeting of the American Socio
logical society at Atlantic City appears
to Bave developed a rather strong op
position to the sentiment against any
and all kinds of divorces that has been
encouraged for some years by certain
sections of the press, clergy and social
organizations. Prof. George Elliott
Howard of the Nebraska university
aroused much discussion by champion
ing the present system, with some
modifications, snd arguing that the
freer granting of divorce has not
proven the evil generally charged.
That there is a crying need for a
reform of the divorce laws, with the
aim ot securing some system of uni
formity among the states. Is beyond
question, but that there should be a
general ban on divorce Is very much
open to question. Statistics show that
drunkenness, desertion, cruelty, in
fidelity and disease are ' the causes of
most of the divorces, and victims of
these evils may be entitled. In all fair
ness to themselves and without Injury
to society, to find relief In the law by
a severing of the legal bond. When
the Interest and welfare' of only the
lhusband and wife are at stake, it Is
clear that society is not greatly
harmed, If it Is not bettered, by af
fording a legal exit from conjugal
wretchedness or conjugal wickedness.
Where the present and future of inno
cent children are involved it well be
comes the duty of the state to take
Jurisdiction and protect society's in-,
terests in the welfare of children.
While divorce reform Is highly desir
able and may result In betterment
of social conditions, Prof. Howard la
right In Insisting that society will for
many yesra be ready or willing to
bear the removal of marital ties that
gall.
RETURN OF THE IMMHiRAXr.
Seventeen ships, carrying 6,000 Im
migrants, arrived at New York In one J
day last week, giving the first substan
tial evidence that the tide of emigra
tion has turned into one of Immigra
tion. ' When the period of industrial
depression set in in this country In the
closing months of 1907 there was an
almost Immediate stopping of Immi
gration, while foreigners who - had
been laboring in this country began
returning to their old homes. For the
entire year of 1908 the departure of
these laborers outnumbered the arri
vals and the country lost, It Is esti
mated, nearly 1,000,000 workmen. The
arrivals of the last week Is the largest
for several years and indicates a gen
eral betterment of .conditions In the
labor world.
The Immigrants are well posted on
labor conditions throughout the world
and their coming to the United States
at this time Is proof that they have
assurances of employment in the vari
ous industries. The Industrial army
moves only when It has work In sight
and has become so mobile In later
years that It responds promptly to the
first demand for raw labor. The turn
of the tide Indicates that this country
Is entering upon another cycle of pros
perity. . A WELCOME INVENTION.
Having produced a Senator "Jeff"
Davis, Arkansas Is now bidding' for
favor for going to the other extreme
by supplying the waiting world with a
noise suppresser. A charter has been
Issued by the secretary ofstate which
permits the applicants to manufacture
an anti-snorlng device warranted to
check In mid career even the . most pes
tiferous, vociferous, obstreperous and
besotted snorer extant.
It is to be regretted that the news
of the granting of the charter does not
carry any description of Jhe device or
any explanation of the manner and
method of applying It, but the mere
fact that the capitalists behind the en
terprise are going to build a factory
and begin making the anti-snore arti
cles in large quantities indicates that
.the patent has been tested, found effec
tive and that the world may reasona
bly expect to eoon be furnished with
means of ending one of the greatest
disturbers of the peace,' against whose
assaults and incursions a weary, sleep
robbed world has heretofore found It
futile to protest.
Limitless wealth awaits the promo
ters of the anti-snore device If it
comes up to the prospectus. ; The un
restrained and defiant habit of public
and private snoring has brought much
misery, into the world.-, It. has caused
insurrections in boarding houses, di
vorce cases In families," riots in Pull
man sleepers and grief everywhere. If
it can be stopped by mechanical aid
the owners of. the device . need . not
bother to sell . their goods through
salesmen- or the usual . commercial
channels. A rejoicing ' public will
quickly demand that laws be passed
making snoring a crime and imposing
heavy penalties, upon snorers who re
fuse to supply themselves with, the
new-found boon to suffering humanity.
The finer fibers of a free people are
entitled to a rest and the Arkansas in
vention will be hailed with rejoicing.
HOW TO END MOB RULE.
Governor Noel of Mississippi has
challenged public attention and ad
miration by his .denunciation ot mob
law and his announcement ot a deter
mination to use the military forces of
the state if necessary to put an end to
mob law. After two lynching parties
had secured their victims. Governor
Noel issued this statement: .
I am sorry to say It, but the time has
come in Mississippi when there will have
to be an armed clash between the mili
tary and the citizens. For the good of
the state, conditions cannot be allowed
to continue as they are, for it will sim
ply resolve Itself Into a eontest of
strength between the mob and the powers
of the state.
When there was danger of a lynch
ing at Brookhaven, Governor Noel was
assured by the sheriff that the pris
oner could be protected without diffi
culty. . The governor accordingly sent
but few troops, who were promptly
overwhelmed by the mob and the
lynching took place. At Houston the
governor failed to send treops to pro
tect two prisoners because the citizens
of the town assured him that they
would obey the law, but Instead the
sheriff's men aided in the lynching.
Now the governor declares that there
will be no more lynchings while he is
governor If the military in the state
are able to prevent it and uphold the
law.
Even more refreshing is Governor
Noel's instructions to the state troops.
They are directed to shoot, if neces
sary, to protect a prisoner from a mob
and to regard any person attacking a
"Jail as an enemy to the state. The
south has needed governors of firm
ness and action for a long time, and
Mississippi is to be congratulated in
having a Noel Instead of a Vardaman
as chief executive. .
As long as Nebraska-grown wheat
sells around the dollar price and Ne
braska corn brings 60 cents, the
farmers will not worry greatly
whether the flour Is bleached or not.
Prof. Ferrero, the Italian historian,
says he Is going to tell the truth about
this country. He might start by tell
ing some of the magazine editors a few
things about cowboys and miners.
"Abdul Hamld Is tottering to bis
fall," says a news dispatch. - Don't be
deceived by such reports. Abdul
Hamld has been tottering tor a quar
ter of a century and Is still able to eat
three squares a day and have someone
else attend to the furnace.
What chs become of the Omaha Mis
souri River Navigation company? The
rivers and harbors bill carries money
for work at Kansas City and Sioux
City, but no mention of Omaha. Some
body must be sleeping at the switch.
The District of Columbia Is going to
make a war against overcrowded street
cars. The crowds In the cars have be
come so great lately that some ot the
southern members have no room for
the exercise of their gun arms.
Cuba is following the California pat
ter of seeking to bar aliens from own
ing property in the island, but the
aliens in this case are chiefly Amer
ican citizens who own about all the
property worth mentioning.
The charter tinkers are nat bo much
troubled over home rule, apparently,
as over the control of the loaves and
fishes. Politics for revenue only Is a
great game when well played.
Intrlllaence Outlawed.
St. Louts Globe-Democrat.
In a Nashville Jury selected to try a noted
murder .case four of the Jurymen cannot
read or write, and two others understsnd
English Imperfectly. A verdict of reductlo
ad absurdum might be rendered at once.
Truly a Spectacle.
Washington Herald.
- Satan rebuking sin was never a stunt
one-half so comic as some of the vaude
ville turns being done nowadays by certain
New York theatrical managers anent the
elevation and purification of the American
stage!
Ideal Duty for Warships.
Chicago News.
It Is suggested by the senate that half the
navy be kept In the Pacific ocean, not as a
precaution against the Japanese, you un
derstand, but to prevent marauding expe
ditions by Maori warships or piratical de
scents by fierce gum chewers of Guam.
Wealth's Prlvllearea Vanishing.
Boston Herald.
The refusal of the court to admit former
banker Charles W. Morse to ball pending
appeal Is an awful warning to malefactors
of large wealth. They no longer enjoy any
exclusive privileges which the Judges seem
disposed to respect In the administration of
equal and exact Justice.
A Precedent for Knox.
Baltimore American.
In the case of Lot M. Morrill, secretary
of the treasury under President Grant, it
appears that as a senator he voted to In
crease the salary of the office which he
subsequently occupied, but that the senate
of which he was a member put the salary
back to. the old figure before Senator Mor
rill's transfer to the cabinet. This makes it
a precedent for the present embarrassment.
Touching; the Pocket Nerve.
Pittsburg Dispatch.
Since. the court at Frankfort, Ky., has
decided, that Insurance companies are not
liable ' for losses on buildings burned by
"night riders," because such events fall
within the "riot clause," It may occur to
some of the losers that riot losses, have
upon occasion, been' collected from Counties
or states. Possibly nothing else would be
more convincing- to counties and states that
riots should be suppressed. - .'
ITCHING FOR PUBLICITY. .
i ' "
Spectacle Worthy of the Boirery
Palled. OS In. a Church.
. ' Washington Post. .
With more oi less ceremony, which was
meant to be impressive, but succeeded only
in being silly, a number of men out of
work were lined up In a New York church
and sold as "slaves." The author, an ex
cellent publicity agent for himself, intended
the exhibition as . a travesty, upon society
and -Its treatment of the unemployed. The
use of a church for the mlse en scene was
a stroke jot bathos . worthy of the . best
mellerdrammer on. the Bowery,
Voluntary servitude is pretty near . the
normal state of man In organised society.
Most of .us sell our lives for food, shelter,
clothing, .and Just .a. little over, which we
call happiness or Independence or power,
according to our Individual ambitions. But
each of these Is as ephemeral as "the wan
ton airs o'r Cathay," and may take wings
at any moment Dally sustenance is not all
we may ask. but all we may reasonably
expect as the price of our endeavor. Luck
ily, this Is within the reach of every man
not 8 cripple or a weakling.
'In playing his satire, the self-constituted
slave auctioneer believed that he was hav
ing a sort of grim fun at the expense of
society; In truth, whatever Joke came out
of his performance appears to be on the
purchasers of the "slaves." There are
times when all men cannot get the kind of
work they want, but It is a rare time when
any right sort of man cannot find enough
to do to earn his bread and butter.
SOMETIME."
May Riley Smith.
Sometime, when all life's lessons have been
learned.
And sun and stars forevermore have set.
The thlnKs which our weak Judgments here
have spurned
The things o'er which we grieved with
IflfltlOB WC t
Will flash before us out of life's dark night
As stars shine most In deepest tints of
blue;
And wo shall see how all God's plana are
right,
And how what seems reproof was love
. most true.
And we shall see how, while we frown and
sigh,
God's plans go on sa best for you and me:
How. when we called, He heeded not our
cry
Because His wisdom to the end could sue.
And even as wise parents disallow
Too much of sweet to craving babyhood.
So God, perhaps, la keeping from us now
Life's sweetest things because It seemeth
good.
And If sometimes commingled with life's
wine
We find the wormwood and rebel and
shrink.
Be sure a wiser hand than yours or mlno
Pours out thla potion for our lips to drink,
And if some friend we love la lying low,
Where outran kisses cannot reach his
face.
Oh, do not blame the loving Father so,
But treat your sorrow with obedient grace.
And you shall shortly know that lengthened
breath
Is not the sweetest gift God sends His
friends,
And that sometimes the sable pall of death
Conceals the fairest boon His lova can
send.
If we could push sjar the gate of life.
And stand within, and all Uod s workings
see.
We could Interpret uil thla doubt and atrlfe,
And for each mystery could find a kay.
But not today. Then be content, poor
heart?
God s pinna like lilies pure snd whit
unfold;
We must uot tear the close-shut leaves
apart;
Time will-reveal the calyxea of gold.
And If through patient toil wa reach the
land
Where tired feet with aandals loosed may
rest.
When we ahall clearly aee and understand,
1 think that we will auy, "Uod knew the
boaC 1
SERMONS BOILED DOWN.
A bag of wind Is a poor thing with which
to lift the world.
Worshiping the milestones does not has
ten progress along the way.
A man's mocking at money has little
meaning If he has no means.
Only the weakling fears either to fight
his thoughts or to follow them. '
Of all the devil's disguises the worst is
that which lust steals from love.
The honesty of our cries for Justice Is
sen in our attitude to the helpless.
Never Is truth more eloquent than when
It la sure tt can afford to be silent.
No wheels are turned In this world by the
man who Is rroud of those In his head.
You never know how much patience a
man has until he has power over others.
No matter what hla titles, he Is a slave
who lets his belly run away with his head.
You cannot tell muc!i about the slse of a
man's living from the slse of his Income.
A man's riches on earth are In Inverse
fstlo to his retrenchments toward human
ity.. Many a man who complnins that con
science Is silent hires a megaphone for his
appetites.
If your head aches from the creeds there
Is always a cure In physical weariness from
good deeds.
There are many who cannot bear to see a
mouse killed who are expert at stabbing
one another In the back. Chicago Tribune.
PERSONAL AM) OTHERWISE.
The Maxim noiseless gun would help
some in promoting "a ' safe and sane"
Fourth of July.
Trouble In 17,600 forms has been classified
by a railroad claim agent In St. Louis, and
he lives to tell about It.
Having pushed the, Balkan war clouds
off the map a kidnaping diversion by
Rulsull would help to keep the nations
awake.
An unchlvalrous figure sharp finds that
one married mirun in every twelve reaches
the solemn dignity of s widow on the na
tional pension roll. Some men can't keep
a secret.
It will take a New York gas company
a full year to let go the US.O'JO.OOO rebate
fund on the Installment plan. Every in
stallment paid out creates a pain In the
gas tank.
Pacific coasters who resent eastern criti
cism of their Jingoes cannot hope for an
overflow of good will so long aa they per
sist In marketing prunes east of the Rocky
mountains.
There Is a difference of 70,COO,000 years
In the calculations of two eminent scien
tists on the age of the earth, leaving an
ample margin for ordinary mortals to work
In a guess.
Doubtless custom Is responsible for the
exhibitions of monarchical osculation, but
no amount of outward show can give It
royal eclat so long as "the ladles of the
court" are excluded from the function.
A variety of sartorial edicts have gone
forth respecting spring attire for men. The
coat, the "wesket." the cady, the shirt
and the tie undergo change, but the ever
lasting trousers remain Immutable, re
sisting time, tide and the tailors. Brethren,
thank your lucky stars for the pants.
DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES.
"I am surprised that he preferred Laura
to Kmlly. Emily has a lovely mind."
"Yes, and Laura has a lovely balance
in the bank." Cleveland Plain Dealer,
"Oh," IaVe'1 too .' much flesh!" she
groaned. "'-How shall I work It off?"
An echo answered:
."Work It off !" Chicago Tribune.
It Is the duty of every man and woman
to be married at the age of 22," said the
lecturer.
"Well," said a woman of 30, with some
asperity, Vyou needn't tell me that. . Talk
to the men." Philadelphia Ledger.
"Women's minds are much cleaner than
men's," remarked Mrs. Oliver Herlord.
"They ought to be." replied her hus
band; ''they change them so much
oftener." Everybody's Magaslne.
"I wish to employ a governess for my
children."
"How did the lsst one we sent you suit;
did she ldave.you?"
"No, she married me." Houston Post.
"And how t that pretty young widow?"
asked Mrs. Browne. "Is she reconciled
to her loss yet?"
"No," replied Mrs. Malaprop, "she ain't
A SAVING
We Give Two for One
Your Down Payment on Piano Doubles
Reduced Piano Prices
$250 New Piano $175
$275 New Piano .$190
$285 New Piano $200
$300 New Piano $225
$325 New Piano $250
$350 New Piano .$275
$375 New Piano $300
$10.00 down payment we credit you $20.00.
$15.00 down payment we credit you $30.00.
$20.00 down payment we credit you $40.00. ' .
$25.00 down payment we credit you $50.00.
This makes the $250 piano which we herewith offer
at the reduced price of $175, cost you but $150.
You pay the balance on $5.00, $6.00, $7.00, $8.00 and
$10.00 payments. Fine stool and scarf included.
Remember this applies on any or all of the new, ,
' high grade, medium or cheap pianos, such as the Kran
ich & Bach, Krakauer, Kimball, Bush & Lane, Cable
Nelson, Kallet Davis, Victor, Whitney, Burton, Imper
ial, Willard, Cramer, etc.; also applies on the Mignon
and Baby Grand Pianos. A chance to save $75.00 on
the price and $25.00 on the first payment.
An even $100 for you, Mr. Piano Buyer. This will
make you ready to buy now.
You can't afford to put this off, .
It means a $100 saving. $10.00 cends one home,
$5.00 monthly pays for It
ha IrOospe O,
1513 Douglas Street
This sale begins Monday, February 22d.'
Forty lo One
In This Country
There are About
Forty Deaths
to
One Fire
If you hnve a home or
a building you insure it
for the limit against fire.
But your life which is '
providing an income for
your loved ones is prob
ably inadequately cover
ed by life insurance, if
covered at all. Your
house may burn you
must die. Provide at
once a guarantee of com
fort and independence
for your wife and loved
ones by investing in a
Standard
Policy
The Equitable
Lite Assurance
Society
"Strongest in the World"
PAUL MORTON, Pres.
II. D. NEELY, Mar.
x Omaha, Neb.
exactly re-conelled yet, but they do say
she has the man picked out." Catholic
Standard and Times. -
"They must be very new to aoclety."
"Why do you think so?"
The sandwiches that were paaavd
around at their reception, last night were
so thick one did not need to take more
than three of them to get a bite." Chi
cago Record-Herald. .
Editor What did the manager say about
the prospects of that risky new playt
Reporter All he would say was that Its
fate hung on a hair.
Editor Humph.. That was .a bald sort
of statement. Baltimire American.
"I understand the Newweds are having
trouble," remarked the spinster boarder.
"Some people take her part and others
side with him."
"And I suppose," growled the scanty
haired bachelor at the other end o? the
mahogany, "there are a few eccentric peo
ple who mind their own business." Puct.
THAT PAYS!
'9