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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 2, 1909)
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE: TUESDAY, FEBRUARY
Tite Omaha Daily Bee
FOUNDED BT EDWARD ROSE WATER.
VICTOR ROBEWATER, EDITOR.
nmersd at Omaba postofflcs second
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STATEMENT Ot CIRCULATION.
State of Nebraska, Douglas County, ss.:
Oenrg B. Tsschtick, treasurer of The Bee
Publishing company, being duly sworn, says
that the actual number of full and com
plete copies of The Dally. Morning, Evening-
sod Sunday Bee printed during the
month ot December, 1808. was aa follows:
1. ST.TSO . 17
. V.. ...... ' Is ,aoo
l.l.........770; It Sa,TtO
.....,., ...S7,0 10 37.850
1730 ; ii a,seo
87,380 12 ....37,010
......... fiw cm ....... r-
87,S-M 24 37,000
... V J."..... .10 . 21.. .... 38,450
1 M,7H 2 8,S30
11 43380 27 37,150
12 M.S60 21 34,430
1. ...... . ..37,100 , 2 40,730
If.... Hi..:. 34,710 10 43,400
li.. 1..,. 37.440; 21 ,.,..43.860
14. ...3770 A .
Less ucsold and returned copies. . 3345
Net- tetal t 1,183385
Daily average . 37,491
GEORGB B. TZSCHUCK.
Subscribed in my presence and sworn to
before ins thla Slat day of December, 1108.
WHEN OVT OF TOWN,
f sjfcaerlbera leavlac tk city tem
porarily akaald aatt The Be
sailed ta Ikes. Address will ba
vhaased aa aftea aa requested.
Now. for the groundhog.
The "C. Q. D." signal U a. sign that
thlps have met in the night instead of
Mr. Taft la expected to send some
cabinet valentines through the malls
' The Cuban ship of state ahould sail
pretty well after two years' rest in the
The simplified spelling board has
put out another cargo of shorter and
It would be more creditable to raise
the Main than to keep talking about
remembering it. 1
.' A Yucatan planter has failed for
; 12.000,000. Look out for a shortage
, of the chewing gum crop.
The Illinois legislature has several
humorists who are voting for "Billy"
Mason for United States senator.
Congressmen Ralney and Willelt
have failed apparently to learn the
difference between criticism and abuse.
'-- Soma congressmen are known by
the number of packages of garden
'seeds they send to their constituents.
tr . "
V- Aa Omaba pastor seems to think he
'can .make people come to church by
s telling them' why they don't come to
t the weather man will only re
serve tom'j of his best brand for the
; Lincoln centenary much will be for
i given him.
A bakers' paper states that the first
pretzels were made in America In
1810. . Some of them are still on the
? Conditions lu Venezuela are becom
ing normal once more. President
.Gomes has declined to settle the as
phalt claims of the United States.
:S The bill In the Oregon legislature
limiting the length of hat pins to ten
Inches must have been introduced by
some member who has been stuck.
i The early bird may catch the worm,
but there is no assurance that the first
'nan to file for the coming municipal
primary will win out in the election.
Dr. Wiley, must regret that La has
'never been able to use Mr. Taft as a
digestive experimental station In his
Sampling of. different varieties of food
. .'; Now Jtbtt he is at liberty to tackle
, some ttW strenuous Job, Charles E.
Magoon might be assigned to the work
of pacifying , the congressional reac
Russia has borrowed another $250.
000,000 from France. The czar I
going to be embarrassed some of these
days when the French decide to call in
, their loans.
Representative Willetts of New
Ycrk can never make a record as a
writer. Even the editor of the Con
gressional . Record has refused his
A legislator at Lincoln declares that
"A paid lobbyist Is not the worst thing
at the capltol." Certainty not. The
worst thing at the capltol is the
THE L1XCVLX AXXIYERSARV.
Congress has passed a joint resolu
tion decreeing that February 12. 109,
the centennial anniversary of the birth
of Abraham Lincoln, shall be a legal
holiday. The limitation of the holi
day to this year will prove a disap-
polntment to many patriotic citizens
who have been urging that the birth
day of Lincoln be regularly established
as an annual national legal holiday.
Congress has always been chary in
designating legal holidays and the ob
jection to making February 12 a per
manent legal holiday Is Its nearness to
the birthday of Washington, which Is
recognized as a legal holiday In many
It is not probable that congress will
ever make the Lincoln birthday a fixed
legal holiday. Surprising as It may
seem, we have no national holiday
fixed by a law of congress, not even
the Fourth of July. Some years ago
congress passed a law making Labor
day a legal holiday in the District of
Columbia and that is the only law on
the federal statute books fixing or
recognizing a legal holiday. The
Fourth of July, Labor day, Memorial
day and other anniversaries have been
recognized as legal holidays in most
of the states. Congress, as a matter
of fact, has no power to declare legal
holidays in states except as affecting
the transaction of business by federal
postofflces, federal courts, national
banks and other institutions directly
vnder the control of the federal gov
ernment, and holiday legislation has
accordingly been left entirely to the
A proclamation by the president set
tins February 12, 1909, aside as a
legal holiday, although of no legally
binding force, will be generally ob
served, but there is little prospect that
there will ever be a national law to
THE FISHERIES DISPUTE.
The Hague tribunal will have jus
tified all the trouble and expense of
Its creation if it succeeds within the
next century in finding a satisfactory
solution to the fisheries dispute be
tween the United States and Great
Britain. The dispute over the New
foundland fishers has been moFe or
less acute since it was first made the
subject of a treaty between the United
Btates and Great Britain in 1783,
when John Adams nearly risked war
to secure what he believed to be the
rights of American citizens. In 1814
John Quincy Adams was ready to
break with England again rather than
surrender the fishing rights which En
gland insisted had been abrogated by
the war. The question was the sub
ject of a treaty in 1818 and another in
1874 which was supposed to settle
the points In controversy but which
have failed to do so.
For the last thirty years every sec
retary of state has had a hand in at
tempting to settle the fisheries dis
pute with joint high commissions
from Canada and Great Britain, but
the trouble is apparently as much a
live wire as ever. American fisher
men claim the right to fish "Inshore,
to land and dry fish under certain
conditions and to procure bait." The
Canadian government is insistent that
the Americans are constantly over
stepping their rights and the whole
question Is to go to The Hague. The
decision of that court is foredoomed
to be unsatisfactory to one or both of
the countries interested, but for har
mony and neighborllness, it ought to
be accepted as final when it conies.
THE COMMITTEES OF COXORESS.
The failure of a number of con
gressmen who were heads of impor
tant house committees to secure a
re-election has brought special atten
tion to the demands of the Insurgents
that some change be effected in the
manner of distributing these post
tlons In the next congress. 1 nta is a
particularly live topic at this time
when it is recognized that much ot
the success of the new administration
will depend upon the organization of
the congress with a' view to bringing
the legislative and executive branches
of the government Into closer har
mony on the legislative program.
It has been the custom for some
years for committee chairmanships to
go by seniority In service and by pro
motion to fill vacancies. Just at pres
ent the old committees are so organ
Izedthatif the seniority plan Is blindly
followed the chairmanships . of sev
eral ot the most Important commit
tees will go to members admitted to
be of the reactionary stamp and not
in harmqny with the progressive poll
cles of President Roosevelt and Presl
dent-elect Taft. The defeat of Jen
kins of Wisconsin, Overstreet of Indi
ana, and Hepburn of Iowa leave va
fancies at the heads of the committees
on judiciary, postofflces and Inter-
statet commerce. The election of
Burton ot Ohio to the senate leaves
the chairmanship of the committee on
rivers and harbors to be filled and
Mr. Sherman's elevation to the vice
presidency vacates the chairmanship
of the Important committee on Indian
Service on a committee does, or
should, qualify a member to be o
special value with work with which
he has had experience, but. there is
little or no justification for making a
man chairman of a committee simply
because he has been on it longer than
any other member. This Is the strong
argument of the congressmen who
have been demanding a new code of
rules to give the house a voice in the
selection of the committees instead
of leaving it entirely to the speaker
They object particularly to the award
ing of committee places by seniority
by which system, for instance, the
committee on irrigation is dominated
by members from New York. Pennsyl
vanla. Ohio. Illinois and South Caro-
lina, states needing no Irrigation,
while the Indian affairs committee
Is In the hands of members from New
ork, Maine, Wisconsin, North Caro
lina and Virginia, states without any
Of course, under existing rules, it
11 depends on the man who is speaker
nd if Speaker Cannon were in full
sympathy with the progressive pro
gram, there would bo no mutterlngs
from that source. Seeing little pros
pect of a change of speaker, the In-
urgents naturally will seek to mold
the organization more to their Ideas
by a change of rules.
I'VSIIIXG THE LIMIT OS PEXSIOXS.
The United States Benate has passed
a bill contemplating an increase of the
nnual pension appropriation by sev
tal millions of dollars. The senate
measure removes the final restriction
of pension payments to widows of
In 1890 the congress passed a law
granting pensions to widows married
to civil war pensioners prior to that
date. In 1908 the law was amended
to include women who had been mar
ried to civil war veterans prior to
June 2 7, 1900, the congress holding
that a woman marrying a civil war
veteran thirty-six years after the end
of that conflict might have done bo to
secure the pension money and many
cases were reported to the pension
officials which would Indicate such
mercenary motives. The bill now
passed by the senate proposes to give
widows a pensionable status, no mat
ter when they were married. The ob-
ection to the proposition is that if
paBed it may markedly Increase the
number of marriages among the old
soldiers who are now far past the
marrying age. The records show that
there are already 20,000 widows of
veterans who were married since June
Investigation 6t the records in con
nection with the proposed legislation
present some interesting facts. The
last surviving widow of the War of the
Revolution died in November, 1906.
There are now 471 widows of the
War of 1812 on the pension roll and
no veterans at all; 3,018 widows and
1,820 survivors of Indian wars; 6,914
widows and 2,932 survivors of the
Mexican war. Up to April 19, 1909,
75,515 civil war widows were on the
pension roll under the general act of
1890 and in 1908 congress added
188,445 more, comprehending all
married prior to June 27, 1900. The
proposed law would bring all subse
quent widows of veterans into line
and increase the pension roll by at
least 20,000 names.
THE SUPREME COURT CLERK.
The democratic legislature is going
after the clerk of the supreme court.
This sortie is, of course, Inspired by
the same political motives that are
back of the other ple-huntlng expedi
tions. The democratic theory Is to
soften the cushions on which demo
cratic office-holders sit and to put bent
pins In all the chairs occupied by re
publicans. We had a democratic clerk
of the supreme court four years ago,
but during all that time no democrat
in or out of the legislature ever seri
ously undertook to reduce the salary
The Bee does not hesitate to say
that it believes the office of the clerk
of the supreme court should be made
a salaried office instead ot a fee office.
The movement toward the abolition of
the fee offices has from the first had
the active backing of The Bee, and
more than once, as for example, In the
case of our local district court clerk
ship, was carried forward by The Bee
and its editor almost alone.
The Bee believes, however, that the
salaries should be commensurate with
the duties of the position and its re
sponsibilities. In order to stop the
fee business in the district court of
Douglas county a start was made with
a Balary of $5,000 a year for the clerk,
which has now been reduced to $.4,000
a year. If the services or tne clerk or
the district court In Douglas county
are worth $4,000 a year, the services
of the clerk of the supreme
court are worth at least as much.
The democrats who are threat
ening to reduce the salary of this im
portant position scarcely lesa impor
tant than that of the Judges on the
supreme bench to $1,500 or $2,000
simply because the present clerk is a
republican Bhould not let their par
tisanship run away with their common
The democratic legislature of Ne
braska is devoting most of its time
and energies to transferring the ap
pointments and other patronage from
the various state offices and boards to
the governor. It goes without saying
that the other state offices and boards
are manned by republicans, while the
governor is a democrat. Ha.d the elec
tion result been reversed, giving us a
republican governor and democrats in
the other state offices, the democratic
legislature would be busy shearing the
governor 'of all his powers and pre
rogatives and building up the subordi
nate places in the hands of their dem
ocratic friends. At the very next elec
tion, however, the democrats will en
deavor to re-enforce their candidates
with piteous appeals for "nonpartisan
ship on the bench." It's a great game.
That reminds us. What has become
of the great Issue of the last campaign
requiring publicity of campaign fund
contributions before election? Are we
not to have that great reform incor
porated into the Nebraska statutes aa
a boon from the present Bryan legis
lature? With all due deference and respect)
we venture to suggest that the work
df the only democratic congressman
from Nebraska for an appropriation to
enlarge and develop the signal corps
station at Fort Omaha Is much more
Important to his constituents and en
titled to more space in his newspaper
than his attack on the so-called gun
A bill has been offered in congress
requiring every ship carrying passen
gers to be equipped with wireless
telegrsphy. Move to amend that
every steamship be albo equipped with
a Captain Scalby and a Jack Binn.
Mr. Bryan will not go to Cuba.
There are enough insurgents In Ne
braska to make him stay close to hl
base ot supplies. The Cubans will
have no voice in the next presidential
The county comptroller's office Is a
great thorn in the side of some ex
county officers who do not care to have
their accounts too closely checked up.
This explains several moves not plain
on the surface.
The New York hatmakers have set
tled their strike and the trousers
makers have declared one. It is en
couraging to know that we may wear
hats, whatever becomes of the
So long as the combatants stick to
pen and paper that duel between the
"Gaston" ot the local bench and the
"Alphonse" of the local bar will not
result fatally to either of them.
Cuba intimates that if Uncle Sam
does not raise the wreck of the Maine
the Cuban congress will do the job and
present the remains to the United
States as a souvenir.
New York is rejoicing over the
opening of another tunnel under the
Hudson. Joy in Manhattan Increases
as the facilities for getting out of New
York are multiplied.
Japan is reducing its expenditures
for battleships. Japan has evidently
placed the proper estimate on the
California sand lotters and the con
Advertising Corn Deficits.
The Omaha Bee wants to see the Post
office department advertised. Is It not al
ready sufficiently well known as the only
one the the world that cannot make both
Which ia Supreme f
The question of supremacy in matters af
fecting foreign relations must be settled.
National pledges must not be subject to the
approval of the sand lots nor to the whims
and prejudices of local legislatures.
He Can Keep the Chance.
Under a new law In Minnesota It appears
that Mr. James J. Hill will have to pay
faro over his own roads. Still, as there are
no other roads In the state to speak of.
It'a simply taking money out of one pocket
and putting it In the other.
Harrlmas Knows av Good Thing;.
What most Impressed E. H. Harriman
during his recent visit at Atlanta was to
be told that the state capltol building there
cost less than the estimates and less than
the amount appropriated. "I take off my
list to the graftlesa capltol," he is reported
ns saying and doing as ha passed the
Shonld Be Made C'orapalsory.
New York Times.
Surely the fortunate conditions of sea
and wind off Nantucket on Saturday will
not blind any one to the necessity hereafter
of equipping every passenger-carrying
steamer with the wireless system. It
should be made compulsory, like the carry
ing of side lights and the blowing of the
whistle in fog, even though It is not yet
clear that the collision could have been
avoided had the .Florida also carried a
Colonel Gaffer Recrowned.
Colonel Guffrey has again been made a
member of the democratio national com
mittee out of which he wa thrown by the
orders ot Colonel Bryan at the Denver
convention last year. Colonel Guffey was
the subject of much personal abuse at
that time at the hands of such eminent
democrats as Governor Haskell of Okla
homa, but in spite of Bryan and Haskell
and others he haa continued to be the
recognized leader of the party In Pennsyl
vania, and the defeat of Bryan clearly
added to his prestige. If CoIuiipI Bryan
expects to be a candidate for the next noml
nation he will have a much more unpleas
ant experience with Pennsylvania than he
had the last time.
A Chicago millionaire has deliberately re
tired from business on the ground that he
Never mind the spelling. The name of the
president of Cuba la pronounced "Cometh.'
Lisp a little on the i.
Rochester has a sort of a fairy god
father or patron saint In George Kastman.
Not king ago Mr. Eastman gave the city
a fine tract of land for a park, and within
a day or two has sent his check for S400.0UO
to the (Rochester hospital.
"For my part," said a Chicago club
woman, "no man will ever enter again
Into my life. I have tasted freedom and
found It sweet." Her marriage announce
ment la now out, and of course creates
no surprise among students of a charming
Bhould occasion require the governor of
Tennessee to make the customary social
salute to neighboring executive he will
be obliged, as a law-abiding offclal, to hike
to a point four miles from the nearest
school house if he would suit the act to the
Tio bad that Carrie Nation got pelted
with eggs, but perhaps they were com
paratively good eggs, and that's something.
Governor Regis H. Post, of Porto Rico,
has been a member ot the Bayport. L. I.,
Fire department since ltl and was Us
chief in 1900-03.
General James Shields, who did disin
qulshed service in the Mexican and Civil
wars, is to have a monument placed over
his grave in St. Mary's cemetery, Carroll
ton, Mo., if the bill favorably reported in
the senate passes aa It is sure to do. It
will be a modest monument, for only I3.0uu
Is to be appropriated. A man with his
fame mm a soldier, who was also United
Elates senator from three states, Illinois,
Missouri and Minnesota, surely deaervts
ARMY OOSJIP IX WAMIIM3TO..
t a r rent Events (.leaned from the
Army and .Navy Heslstrr.
The War department has received the
reports of the boards of army medical of
ficer before which 'were conducted the
Ised to present themselves for cxamlna
to the junior grade of the army medical
corps. Of the applicant who were author
ised to present themselves for examina
tion, sixty-six completed the physical and
professional examination. The papers have
been sent to a marking board and It Is
expected the results will be known In about
two weeks. The medical authorities were
much gratified to observe the large per
centage of resident hospital physicians who
presented themselves before the boards.
There are now ninety-seven vacancies In
the army medical corps.
A provision In the army appropriation
bill of Importance to retired officers de
tailed for duty at military colleges Is that
which extends to them commutation of
quarters, which has all along been allowed
to other retired officers detailed on re
cruiting duty and on duty with the militia.
There has really been no reason for the
Invidious distinction which has prevailed
against retired army officers on duty at
educational Institutions. It was In accord
ance with the law of 188J. applying to of
ficers on college duty and providing for
them only the active pay of their respective
grades. Two years ago an effort was made
to Induce congress to extend the allowance
of commutation of quarters to the officers
from whom It waa withheld, but the ap
peal made no Impression at the capltol.
The quartermaster general of the army
haa had before him the claim of a retired
first lieutenant, recently relieved from col
lege duty and ordered to his home by com
petent order which carried mileage with It.
The officer claimed reimbursement of the
cost of the crating and shipping to his
home of his household goods and profes
sional books. It is held by the War de
partment that a retired officer on college
detail Is not, under the law of 1893, trHltled
to allowance, but It haa also been In
formally held by the War department that
mileage Is not an allowance, and It Is now
decided that the same competent order
which authorized mileage carries with It
the right to the transportation of the
proper amount of household property and
general baggage of a retired officer to his
home as a reimbursement of the expenses
which the travel necessitates and not as
an allowance. The normal method In this
result would be to turn over the property
to be crated and transported to the quar
termaster's department, but, as there were
no such facilities at hand, the officer had
this work done at his own expense.
The fireless cooker is destined after much
practical trial of the device, to have re
stricted use in the military service. The
authorities of the War department have
reached the conclusion that It should only
be used in garrison, unless tt can be added
to the field equipment. Any Increase In
the material which is carried with troops
In campaign Is rigorously opposed for ob
vious reasons, and those who appreciate
the value of the fireless cooker do not be
lieve It should b adopted for troops In
the field, if such action requires addi
tional transportation. It appears to be out
of the question to have a tireless cooker
replace the present cvxiklng outfit used
by or for troops away from garrison. One
argument advanced In favor of the fire
less cooker In the field was that upon oc
casion the Insulated boxes might be dis
carded and the kettles used for the pur
pose of cooking. Those who have charge
of army subsistence believe that the fire
less cooker should not be used as a substi
tute for the present cooking appliances
In the field and the question of adding to
the transportation Is so vitally connected
with the mobility of an army that proba
bly none of the various appliances, such
as the rolling kitchen and the moving
oven, will be permanently adopted for use
In the army.
BITS OK BRYAN1SM.
Nebraska City Press: The World-Herald
uses a lot of space In Its editorial columns
denouncing The Bee for denouncing Bryan,
and winds up with the statement that The
Bee la not Injuring Mr. Bryan. tfV'hat Is
the use of getting sore about it then?
Nebraska City Press: Mr. Bryan Is very
solicitous about having a school of poll
tics established In the university of Ne
braska. By the returns of the November
election Mr. Bryan had better have the
schools established In other states, notably
New York and Missouri.
Aurora Republican: That Prince of
Peace lecture of Bryan's distributed last
fall by the democratic committees was a
strong appeal for prohibition votes. But
a straight forward lecture on the subject
of "county option," addressed to the ma
jority of the "faithful" In the legislature
would be much more to the point Just now.
Howells Journal (dem.): The sending of
W. J. Bryan to the United States senate is
not only a possibility, but a probability. If
the present legislature shall keep the faith
and redeem the party pledges there can be
no doubt about the complexion ot the next
legislature. Democracy is on trial and its
representatives must make good. We feel
confident that they will.
Beatrice Express: There Is some weakly
sentimental opposition to permitting the Ne
braska university to share In the plan of
Andrew Carnegie to pension retired
teachers. Certainly contributions to a
pension fund could not be expected from
men of small means, and If furnished by
the government the millionaire would still
be an essential helper. It seems foolish to
scorn Carnegie's proffered aid.
Beatrice Bun: Mr. Bryan has offered his
services to deliver a aeries of lectures and
conduct a school of citlaenshlp in connec
tion with the State university. Mr. Bryan's
high standing aa a citizen and his promi
nence In national affairs would make him
a valuable addition to the faculty. Aca
demic instruction is effective only as it
brings to the student the written or spoken
words of men of brains. A course of Bryan
lectures would be a drawing card, and
would give prominence and strength to the
O'Neill Frontier: The legislature hasn't
crystalixed into law yet any of Mr. Bryan's
much vaunted "reforms." In fact the
"peerless" seems to be trying to evade his
former paramount issues and is Qut with a
new scheme in the shape of a proposition
for a school of politics In connection with
the Bloite university. The Idea may or may
not be commendable, but Is of little con
cern to the voters of Nebraska who have
looked for something practical after all f
the great swelling words of Mr. Bryan.
Are all of the great reforms that were
gjlng to revolutionize and Idealize our state
going to dwindle down to a mure school of
politics, where Mr. Bryan can go on dron
ing out his wearisome platitudes?
Kearney Hub: Notwithstanding Mr. Bry
an a protestation of disinterestedness in
seeking to have a school of citizenship
grafted upon the Nebraska fctlata uni
versity the proposition appears to be gen
erally received with distrust, as an open
ing wedge for the creation of a school of
politics. Mr. Bryan states that school
of this character should ba able to attract
students from other countries, and asks:
"How ran wa better help the orient and
the republics to tpe south of us than by
edueatlng the more ambitious of then
young men and sending thera back to apply
American Ideas and ideals in lh working
; theacUTeprindple,rt?UJj,- -Jpi ii
;s wholesome and dzM
us food for everyday
in every home
V Ne Phosphates Or
out of the problems that confront their
people?" Which may be answered simply
by saying that the various universities and
colleges ot the United States already af
ford such opportunity In their regular cur
riculums without the least hint or sug
gestion of political Intention. The Ne
braska university is already broad enough
In its scope and embraces sufficient study
In corresponding lines to answer every
Grand Island Independent: One might
come to the conclusion, Judging only
from the present controversy at Lincoln,
that Nebraska's citizenship is In a very
bad way. It appears that Mr. Bryan has
beeii making efforts more quiet and less
of the lct-the-people-rule efforts than
usual toward establishing a school of
citlreftBhlp at the Nebraska State uni
versity. The regents did not aee fit to
adopt It Possibly they quietly conducted
some Investigation and found the citizen
ship of Its graduates not at all alarming
but, on the whole, of a falr-to-middling
charecter; at all events the suggestion
was pigeonholed. Mr. Bryan is now
charge4 with trying to force the regents,
by means of legislative enactment. The
regents wisely are saying nothing. It is
gra-ely feared that such a school would
ever and again plunge the institution into
the whirl of partisan politics. And, aside
from that. Is it necessary? If there is
anything sorely wrong with our citizen
ship can It not be remedied through the
usual channels, where, too. a vastly
greater number can be benefited than at
tend tha state university. But the Inde
pendent believes Mr. Bryan is unduly
alarmed about Nebraska's citizenship,
TEST OF LEGISLATIVE: NEItVK.
Who Will Guarantee) the Parity and
Genalneness of Clnnrs.
A contemporary, discussing the pure food
law, undertakes to predict what would
come to pass If the rules applying to
whisky were to be applied also to cigars
and tobacco. No living human being, we
are informed, can tell exactly what whisky
Is. vet to define Havana cigars is a more
difficult undertaking and one for avoid
ing which the average dealer, whose
Havauas are suspiciously suggestive of
Connecticut and Pennsylvania stock, ma
be pardoned. "Most of the Havana cigars
sold," our contemiporary observes with
some bitterness, "are an awful mystery."
All of which is true enough, but what boots
it to ripen? Unless it can be shown that
the clgsr vendor la poisoning his customers
with weeds soaked In formaldehyde or
benzoate of soda what hope Is there of
persuading the powers that be to lift the
veil? As yet no man has had the hardi
hood to edvance the theory that tobacco Is
a food and to ue this as a pretext for
Invoking tne same paternal supervision that
Is now extended to the btef of Chicago
and the breakfast foods of everywhere.
The most delicious for griddle
cakes of all makes or any
use where syrup takes.
A pure, wholesome food.
toe. ije. an J foe
A book of cooking and candy
making rtcipts itnt fret
Money . . .
at work. Do not let a large amount lie idle. If you think you
do not-need it for some months, it Is much better to put it to
work, earning something. i
A 3 Certificate of Iteiiosit is an ideal investment. It is
safe; it brings a good income, and is available under ordinary
conditions at any time, as collateral security.
If you have 'valuable papers, jewels, etc., these should ba
In a Safe Place ,
rather than about the bouse or office. $3.00 a 'year for a
Safety Box is certainly very low insurance and a fgrm that you
cannot afford to neglect.
First National Bank of Omaha
Thirteenth and Farnam St.
Entrance to sjafaty Beposlt Yaults Is on 13th St.
i --.. lTn qrij-uum
"Da you approve of the plan ot teaching
pupils to box?"
"Not unconditionally." replied the country
pedagogue, remembering his husky It-year-olds.
"Might be all right, though. If you'd
authorize the teachers to carry guns."
"Why do you take such' an interest in the
uplift of the farmer?"
"I'm Jes' curious," answered Mr. Coin-
tr.mm.,1 1 ' . 1. -1 1. ,'a .aIh' ft VlA
same old throwdown in a new disguise."
Former Customer (after a long absencei
What has become of the pretty blonde
that used to feed the hungry at this lunch
Dark-Pklnned Walter Girl I'm her: what
you goln' to order, sir? Chicago Tribune.
The man hater had Just announced her
"But you always said that men were
horrid creatures," said her friends.
"So they are," replied the bride-to-be.
"and here's my opportunity to punish one
They all agreed that It was real noble of
her. Philadelphia Ledger.
A traveler stopped at a hotel In Green
land, where the nights are six months'
long, and, as hn registered, asked a ques
tion of the clerk.
"What time rlo you have breakfast?"
"From half past March to a quarter to
May." Harper's Weekly.
PO' OI, ADAM!
F. I.. Stanton In Atlanta Constitution.
Adam wux his own boss
Twel ht gone ter sleep;
Den it wuz he los' a rib.
An' trouble In a heap!
He rlz up. he ris up
Fer dar lie couldn't stsv:
An' "Whir dnt rib I had?" he said.
'i one rib short today!"
Den Kve it wus dat answered .
An' skeered he wus, for shn't
I null i nee ri .vuu lua I iir
You don't deserve no mo'!
"An' now I gwlne ter tell you:
Keep quiet ez a mouse,
Kaxn 1 de very lady
What runnln' of de house!
"Vou got ter make de money
V'ou got ter rise an' shine;
Git up an' eat yo' brakfas'
An' go 'long whar you gwlne!"
Adam ain't say nuttln':
De talkin' never cease;
"I'll go dar, whar dem lions st
Ter get my res' an' peace!"
You reckon he wuz peaceful'.'
Befo' de day wuz gone
Kve made hnn split de klndlln'
An' put de kettle on.
Adam po' ol' Adam!
Fum den ontell dls day
He hud des one opinion:
"I sleep my rights away!"
. cam rtAvo
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