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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 2, 1909)
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE: TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 1909. Tite Omaha Daily Bee FOUNDED BT EDWARD ROSE WATER. VICTOR ROBEWATER, EDITOR. nmersd at Omaba postofflcs second class matter. TERMS OF BUB9CRIPTION. Dally Flea (without Hunday), one year.. MM Daily Bee and Sunday, ona year DELIVERED BT CARRIER. Dslly Pa (Including ftundsy), per week. ,15c Daily Bee (without BSnday). per week..l0c F.vanlng Pm (without Sunday), par weak So Evening Baa (with Sunday), per week.iOe flunday Be. ona year J Saturday Bee, one year Address all complalnta of Irregularities la delivery to City Circulation department. OFFICE. Omaha The Bee Bulienng. South Omaha Twenty-fourth and N. Council Bluff 15 Scott Street. Lincolnall) Little Building. Chicago IMS Marquette Building. New York-Rooms 1101-1108 No. M Went Thirty-third Street. . ... Waahlngton 728 Fourteenth Street. N. W. CORRESPONDENCE. Communlcatlona relating to new and edi torial matter ahould be addreeaed: Omaba Bee, Editorial Department. REMITTANCES. Remit by cVaft, express or postal order payable to The Bee Publlehlng Company. Only t-cent stamps received In payment of mall accounts. Personal check, except on Omaha, or eastern exchanges, not accepted. STATEMENT Ot CIRCULATION. State of Nebraska, Douglas County, ss.: Oenrg B. Tsschtick, treasurer of The Bee Publishing company, being duly sworn, says that the actual number of full and com plete copies of The Dally. Morning, Evening- sod Sunday Bee printed during the month ot December, 1808. was aa follows: 1. ST.TSO . 17 . V.. ...... ' Is ,aoo l.l.........770; It Sa,TtO .....,., ...S7,0 10 37.850 1730 ; ii a,seo 87,380 12 ....37,010 ......... fiw cm ....... r- 87,S-M 24 37,000 ... V J."..... .10 . 21.. .... 38,450 1 M,7H 2 8,S30 11 43380 27 37,150 12 M.S60 21 34,430 1. ...... . ..37,100 , 2 40,730 If.... Hi..:. 34,710 10 43,400 li.. 1..,. 37.440; 21 ,.,..43.860 14. ...3770 A . Total 1,171,470 Less ucsold and returned copies. . 3345 Net- tetal t 1,183385 Daily average . 37,491 GEORGB B. TZSCHUCK. Treasurer. Subscribed in my presence and sworn to before ins thla Slat day of December, 1108. ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Public. WHEN OVT OF TOWN, f sjfcaerlbera leavlac tk city tem porarily akaald aatt The Be sailed ta Ikes. Address will ba vhaased aa aftea aa requested. Now. for the groundhog. The "C. Q. D." signal U a. sign that thlps have met in the night instead of passing. Mr. Taft la expected to send some cabinet valentines through the malls this year. ' The Cuban ship of state ahould sail pretty well after two years' rest in the dry docks. The simplified spelling board has put out another cargo of shorter and uglier words. It would be more creditable to raise the Main than to keep talking about remembering it. 1 .' A Yucatan planter has failed for ; 12.000,000. Look out for a shortage , of the chewing gum crop. The Illinois legislature has several humorists who are voting for "Billy" Mason for United States senator. Congressmen Ralney and Willelt have failed apparently to learn the difference between criticism and abuse. '-- Soma congressmen are known by the number of packages of garden 'seeds they send to their constituents. tr . " V- Aa Omaba pastor seems to think he 'can .make people come to church by s telling them' why they don't come to church. t the weather man will only re serve tom'j of his best brand for the ; Lincoln centenary much will be for i given him. A bakers' paper states that the first pretzels were made in America In 1810. . Some of them are still on the lunch counter. ? Conditions lu Venezuela are becom ing normal once more. President .Gomes has declined to settle the as phalt claims of the United States. :S The bill In the Oregon legislature limiting the length of hat pins to ten Inches must have been introduced by some member who has been stuck. i The early bird may catch the worm, but there is no assurance that the first 'nan to file for the coming municipal primary will win out in the election. Dr. Wiley, must regret that La has 'never been able to use Mr. Taft as a digestive experimental station In his Sampling of. different varieties of food products. . .'; Now Jtbtt he is at liberty to tackle , some ttW strenuous Job, Charles E. Magoon might be assigned to the work of pacifying , the congressional reac tionaries. Russia has borrowed another $250. 000,000 from France. The czar I going to be embarrassed some of these days when the French decide to call in , their loans. Representative Willetts of New Ycrk can never make a record as a writer. Even the editor of the Con gressional . Record has refused his manuscript. A legislator at Lincoln declares that "A paid lobbyist Is not the worst thing at the capltol." Certainty not. The worst thing at the capltol is the 'paid" legislator. THE L1XCVLX AXXIYERSARV. Congress has passed a joint resolu tion decreeing that February 12. 109, the centennial anniversary of the birth of Abraham Lincoln, shall be a legal holiday. The limitation of the holi day to this year will prove a disap- polntment to many patriotic citizens who have been urging that the birth day of Lincoln be regularly established as an annual national legal holiday. Congress has always been chary in designating legal holidays and the ob jection to making February 12 a per manent legal holiday Is Its nearness to the birthday of Washington, which Is recognized as a legal holiday In many states. It is not probable that congress will ever make the Lincoln birthday a fixed legal holiday. Surprising as It may seem, we have no national holiday fixed by a law of congress, not even the Fourth of July. Some years ago congress passed a law making Labor day a legal holiday in the District of Columbia and that is the only law on the federal statute books fixing or recognizing a legal holiday. The Fourth of July, Labor day, Memorial day and other anniversaries have been recognized as legal holidays in most of the states. Congress, as a matter of fact, has no power to declare legal holidays in states except as affecting the transaction of business by federal postofflces, federal courts, national banks and other institutions directly vnder the control of the federal gov ernment, and holiday legislation has accordingly been left entirely to the states. A proclamation by the president set tins February 12, 1909, aside as a legal holiday, although of no legally binding force, will be generally ob served, but there is little prospect that there will ever be a national law to that end. THE FISHERIES DISPUTE. The Hague tribunal will have jus tified all the trouble and expense of Its creation if it succeeds within the next century in finding a satisfactory solution to the fisheries dispute be tween the United States and Great Britain. The dispute over the New foundland fishers has been moFe or less acute since it was first made the subject of a treaty between the United Btates and Great Britain in 1783, when John Adams nearly risked war to secure what he believed to be the rights of American citizens. In 1814 John Quincy Adams was ready to break with England again rather than surrender the fishing rights which En gland insisted had been abrogated by the war. The question was the sub ject of a treaty in 1818 and another in 1874 which was supposed to settle the points In controversy but which have failed to do so. For the last thirty years every sec retary of state has had a hand in at tempting to settle the fisheries dis pute with joint high commissions from Canada and Great Britain, but the trouble is apparently as much a live wire as ever. American fisher men claim the right to fish "Inshore, to land and dry fish under certain conditions and to procure bait." The Canadian government is insistent that the Americans are constantly over stepping their rights and the whole question Is to go to The Hague. The decision of that court is foredoomed to be unsatisfactory to one or both of the countries interested, but for har mony and neighborllness, it ought to be accepted as final when it conies. THE COMMITTEES OF COXORESS. The failure of a number of con gressmen who were heads of impor tant house committees to secure a re-election has brought special atten tion to the demands of the Insurgents that some change be effected in the manner of distributing these post tlons In the next congress. 1 nta is a particularly live topic at this time when it is recognized that much ot the success of the new administration will depend upon the organization of the congress with a' view to bringing the legislative and executive branches of the government Into closer har mony on the legislative program. It has been the custom for some years for committee chairmanships to go by seniority In service and by pro motion to fill vacancies. Just at pres ent the old committees are so organ Izedthatif the seniority plan Is blindly followed the chairmanships . of sev eral ot the most Important commit tees will go to members admitted to be of the reactionary stamp and not in harmqny with the progressive poll cles of President Roosevelt and Presl dent-elect Taft. The defeat of Jen kins of Wisconsin, Overstreet of Indi ana, and Hepburn of Iowa leave va fancies at the heads of the committees on judiciary, postofflces and Inter- statet commerce. The election of Burton ot Ohio to the senate leaves the chairmanship of the committee on rivers and harbors to be filled and Mr. Sherman's elevation to the vice presidency vacates the chairmanship of the Important committee on Indian affairs. Service on a committee does, or should, qualify a member to be o special value with work with which he has had experience, but. there is little or no justification for making a man chairman of a committee simply because he has been on it longer than any other member. This Is the strong argument of the congressmen who have been demanding a new code of rules to give the house a voice in the selection of the committees instead of leaving it entirely to the speaker They object particularly to the award ing of committee places by seniority by which system, for instance, the committee on irrigation is dominated by members from New York. Pennsyl vanla. Ohio. Illinois and South Caro- lina, states needing no Irrigation, while the Indian affairs committee Is In the hands of members from New ork, Maine, Wisconsin, North Caro lina and Virginia, states without any Indiana. Of course, under existing rules, it 11 depends on the man who is speaker nd if Speaker Cannon were in full sympathy with the progressive pro gram, there would bo no mutterlngs from that source. Seeing little pros pect of a change of speaker, the In- urgents naturally will seek to mold the organization more to their Ideas by a change of rules. I'VSIIIXG THE LIMIT OS PEXSIOXS. The United States Benate has passed a bill contemplating an increase of the nnual pension appropriation by sev tal millions of dollars. The senate measure removes the final restriction of pension payments to widows of soldiers. In 1890 the congress passed a law granting pensions to widows married to civil war pensioners prior to that date. In 1908 the law was amended to include women who had been mar ried to civil war veterans prior to June 2 7, 1900, the congress holding that a woman marrying a civil war veteran thirty-six years after the end of that conflict might have done bo to secure the pension money and many cases were reported to the pension officials which would Indicate such mercenary motives. The bill now passed by the senate proposes to give widows a pensionable status, no mat ter when they were married. The ob- ection to the proposition is that if paBed it may markedly Increase the number of marriages among the old soldiers who are now far past the marrying age. The records show that there are already 20,000 widows of veterans who were married since June 27, 1900. Investigation 6t the records in con nection with the proposed legislation present some interesting facts. The last surviving widow of the War of the Revolution died in November, 1906. There are now 471 widows of the War of 1812 on the pension roll and no veterans at all; 3,018 widows and 1,820 survivors of Indian wars; 6,914 widows and 2,932 survivors of the Mexican war. Up to April 19, 1909, 75,515 civil war widows were on the pension roll under the general act of 1890 and in 1908 congress added 188,445 more, comprehending all married prior to June 27, 1900. The proposed law would bring all subse quent widows of veterans into line and increase the pension roll by at least 20,000 names. THE SUPREME COURT CLERK. The democratic legislature is going after the clerk of the supreme court. This sortie is, of course, Inspired by the same political motives that are back of the other ple-huntlng expedi tions. The democratic theory Is to soften the cushions on which demo cratic office-holders sit and to put bent pins In all the chairs occupied by re publicans. We had a democratic clerk of the supreme court four years ago, but during all that time no democrat in or out of the legislature ever seri ously undertook to reduce the salary and perquisites. The Bee does not hesitate to say that it believes the office of the clerk of the supreme court should be made a salaried office instead ot a fee office. The movement toward the abolition of the fee offices has from the first had the active backing of The Bee, and more than once, as for example, In the case of our local district court clerk ship, was carried forward by The Bee and its editor almost alone. The Bee believes, however, that the salaries should be commensurate with the duties of the position and its re sponsibilities. In order to stop the fee business in the district court of Douglas county a start was made with a Balary of $5,000 a year for the clerk, which has now been reduced to $.4,000 a year. If the services or tne clerk or the district court In Douglas county are worth $4,000 a year, the services of the clerk of the supreme court are worth at least as much. The democrats who are threat ening to reduce the salary of this im portant position scarcely lesa impor tant than that of the Judges on the supreme bench to $1,500 or $2,000 simply because the present clerk is a republican Bhould not let their par tisanship run away with their common sense. The democratic legislature of Ne braska is devoting most of its time and energies to transferring the ap pointments and other patronage from the various state offices and boards to the governor. It goes without saying that the other state offices and boards are manned by republicans, while the governor is a democrat. Ha.d the elec tion result been reversed, giving us a republican governor and democrats in the other state offices, the democratic legislature would be busy shearing the governor 'of all his powers and pre rogatives and building up the subordi nate places in the hands of their dem ocratic friends. At the very next elec tion, however, the democrats will en deavor to re-enforce their candidates with piteous appeals for "nonpartisan ship on the bench." It's a great game. That reminds us. What has become of the great Issue of the last campaign requiring publicity of campaign fund contributions before election? Are we not to have that great reform incor porated into the Nebraska statutes aa a boon from the present Bryan legis lature? With all due deference and respect) we venture to suggest that the work df the only democratic congressman from Nebraska for an appropriation to enlarge and develop the signal corps station at Fort Omaha Is much more Important to his constituents and en titled to more space in his newspaper than his attack on the so-called gun powder trust. A bill has been offered in congress requiring every ship carrying passen gers to be equipped with wireless telegrsphy. Move to amend that every steamship be albo equipped with a Captain Scalby and a Jack Binn. Mr. Bryan will not go to Cuba. There are enough insurgents In Ne braska to make him stay close to hl base ot supplies. The Cubans will have no voice in the next presidential election anyway. The county comptroller's office Is a great thorn in the side of some ex county officers who do not care to have their accounts too closely checked up. This explains several moves not plain on the surface. The New York hatmakers have set tled their strike and the trousers makers have declared one. It is en couraging to know that we may wear hats, whatever becomes of the trousers. So long as the combatants stick to pen and paper that duel between the "Gaston" ot the local bench and the "Alphonse" of the local bar will not result fatally to either of them. Cuba intimates that if Uncle Sam does not raise the wreck of the Maine the Cuban congress will do the job and present the remains to the United States as a souvenir. New York is rejoicing over the opening of another tunnel under the Hudson. Joy in Manhattan Increases as the facilities for getting out of New York are multiplied. Japan is reducing its expenditures for battleships. Japan has evidently placed the proper estimate on the California sand lotters and the con gressional Hobsons. Advertising Corn Deficits. Louisville Courier-Journal. The Omaha Bee wants to see the Post office department advertised. Is It not al ready sufficiently well known as the only one the the world that cannot make both ends mfl? Which ia Supreme f Boston Herald. The question of supremacy in matters af fecting foreign relations must be settled. National pledges must not be subject to the approval of the sand lots nor to the whims and prejudices of local legislatures. He Can Keep the Chance. Washington Post. Under a new law In Minnesota It appears that Mr. James J. Hill will have to pay faro over his own roads. Still, as there are no other roads In the state to speak of. It'a simply taking money out of one pocket and putting it In the other. Harrlmas Knows av Good Thing;. Brooklyn Eagle. What most Impressed E. H. Harriman during his recent visit at Atlanta was to be told that the state capltol building there cost less than the estimates and less than the amount appropriated. "I take off my list to the graftlesa capltol," he is reported ns saying and doing as ha passed the building. Shonld Be Made C'orapalsory. New York Times. Surely the fortunate conditions of sea and wind off Nantucket on Saturday will not blind any one to the necessity hereafter of equipping every passenger-carrying steamer with the wireless system. It should be made compulsory, like the carry ing of side lights and the blowing of the whistle in fog, even though It is not yet clear that the collision could have been avoided had the .Florida also carried a wireless outfit. Colonel Gaffer Recrowned. Philadelphia Press. Colonel Guffrey has again been made a member of the democratio national com mittee out of which he wa thrown by the orders ot Colonel Bryan at the Denver convention last year. Colonel Guffey was the subject of much personal abuse at that time at the hands of such eminent democrats as Governor Haskell of Okla homa, but in spite of Bryan and Haskell and others he haa continued to be the recognized leader of the party In Pennsyl vania, and the defeat of Bryan clearly added to his prestige. If CoIuiipI Bryan expects to be a candidate for the next noml nation he will have a much more unpleas ant experience with Pennsylvania than he had the last time. A Chicago millionaire has deliberately re tired from business on the ground that he has enough. Never mind the spelling. The name of the president of Cuba la pronounced "Cometh.' Lisp a little on the i. Rochester has a sort of a fairy god father or patron saint In George Kastman. Not king ago Mr. Eastman gave the city a fine tract of land for a park, and within a day or two has sent his check for S400.0UO to the (Rochester hospital. "For my part," said a Chicago club woman, "no man will ever enter again Into my life. I have tasted freedom and found It sweet." Her marriage announce ment la now out, and of course creates no surprise among students of a charming sex. Bhould occasion require the governor of Tennessee to make the customary social salute to neighboring executive he will be obliged, as a law-abiding offclal, to hike to a point four miles from the nearest school house if he would suit the act to the word. Tio bad that Carrie Nation got pelted with eggs, but perhaps they were com paratively good eggs, and that's something. Governor Regis H. Post, of Porto Rico, has been a member ot the Bayport. L. I., Fire department since ltl and was Us chief in 1900-03. General James Shields, who did disin qulshed service in the Mexican and Civil wars, is to have a monument placed over his grave in St. Mary's cemetery, Carroll ton, Mo., if the bill favorably reported in the senate passes aa It is sure to do. It will be a modest monument, for only I3.0uu Is to be appropriated. A man with his fame mm a soldier, who was also United Elates senator from three states, Illinois, Missouri and Minnesota, surely deaervts such honor. ARMY OOSJIP IX WAMIIM3TO.. t a r rent Events (.leaned from the Army and .Navy Heslstrr. The War department has received the reports of the boards of army medical of ficer before which 'were conducted the Ised to present themselves for cxamlna to the junior grade of the army medical corps. Of the applicant who were author ised to present themselves for examina tion, sixty-six completed the physical and professional examination. The papers have been sent to a marking board and It Is expected the results will be known In about two weeks. The medical authorities were much gratified to observe the large per centage of resident hospital physicians who presented themselves before the boards. There are now ninety-seven vacancies In the army medical corps. A provision In the army appropriation bill of Importance to retired officers de tailed for duty at military colleges Is that which extends to them commutation of quarters, which has all along been allowed to other retired officers detailed on re cruiting duty and on duty with the militia. There has really been no reason for the Invidious distinction which has prevailed against retired army officers on duty at educational Institutions. It was In accord ance with the law of 188J. applying to of ficers on college duty and providing for them only the active pay of their respective grades. Two years ago an effort was made to Induce congress to extend the allowance of commutation of quarters to the officers from whom It waa withheld, but the ap peal made no Impression at the capltol. The quartermaster general of the army haa had before him the claim of a retired first lieutenant, recently relieved from col lege duty and ordered to his home by com petent order which carried mileage with It. The officer claimed reimbursement of the cost of the crating and shipping to his home of his household goods and profes sional books. It is held by the War de partment that a retired officer on college detail Is not, under the law of 1893, trHltled to allowance, but It haa also been In formally held by the War department that mileage Is not an allowance, and It Is now decided that the same competent order which authorized mileage carries with It the right to the transportation of the proper amount of household property and general baggage of a retired officer to his home as a reimbursement of the expenses which the travel necessitates and not as an allowance. The normal method In this result would be to turn over the property to be crated and transported to the quar termaster's department, but, as there were no such facilities at hand, the officer had this work done at his own expense. The fireless cooker is destined after much practical trial of the device, to have re stricted use in the military service. The authorities of the War department have reached the conclusion that It should only be used in garrison, unless tt can be added to the field equipment. Any Increase In the material which is carried with troops In campaign Is rigorously opposed for ob vious reasons, and those who appreciate the value of the fireless cooker do not be lieve It should b adopted for troops In the field, if such action requires addi tional transportation. It appears to be out of the question to have a tireless cooker replace the present cvxiklng outfit used by or for troops away from garrison. One argument advanced In favor of the fire less cooker In the field was that upon oc casion the Insulated boxes might be dis carded and the kettles used for the pur pose of cooking. Those who have charge of army subsistence believe that the fire less cooker should not be used as a substi tute for the present cooking appliances In the field and the question of adding to the transportation Is so vitally connected with the mobility of an army that proba bly none of the various appliances, such as the rolling kitchen and the moving oven, will be permanently adopted for use In the army. BITS OK BRYAN1SM. Nebraska City Press: The World-Herald uses a lot of space In Its editorial columns denouncing The Bee for denouncing Bryan, and winds up with the statement that The Bee la not Injuring Mr. Bryan. tfV'hat Is the use of getting sore about it then? Nebraska City Press: Mr. Bryan Is very solicitous about having a school of poll tics established In the university of Ne braska. By the returns of the November election Mr. Bryan had better have the schools established In other states, notably New York and Missouri. Aurora Republican: That Prince of Peace lecture of Bryan's distributed last fall by the democratic committees was a strong appeal for prohibition votes. But a straight forward lecture on the subject of "county option," addressed to the ma jority of the "faithful" In the legislature would be much more to the point Just now. Howells Journal (dem.): The sending of W. J. Bryan to the United States senate is not only a possibility, but a probability. If the present legislature shall keep the faith and redeem the party pledges there can be no doubt about the complexion ot the next legislature. Democracy is on trial and its representatives must make good. We feel confident that they will. Beatrice Express: There Is some weakly sentimental opposition to permitting the Ne braska university to share In the plan of Andrew Carnegie to pension retired teachers. Certainly contributions to a pension fund could not be expected from men of small means, and If furnished by the government the millionaire would still be an essential helper. It seems foolish to scorn Carnegie's proffered aid. Beatrice Bun: Mr. Bryan has offered his services to deliver a aeries of lectures and conduct a school of citlaenshlp in connec tion with the State university. Mr. Bryan's high standing aa a citizen and his promi nence In national affairs would make him a valuable addition to the faculty. Aca demic instruction is effective only as it brings to the student the written or spoken words of men of brains. A course of Bryan lectures would be a drawing card, and would give prominence and strength to the university. O'Neill Frontier: The legislature hasn't crystalixed into law yet any of Mr. Bryan's much vaunted "reforms." In fact the "peerless" seems to be trying to evade his former paramount issues and is Qut with a new scheme in the shape of a proposition for a school of politics In connection with the Bloite university. The Idea may or may not be commendable, but Is of little con cern to the voters of Nebraska who have looked for something practical after all f the great swelling words of Mr. Bryan. Are all of the great reforms that were gjlng to revolutionize and Idealize our state going to dwindle down to a mure school of politics, where Mr. Bryan can go on dron ing out his wearisome platitudes? Kearney Hub: Notwithstanding Mr. Bry an a protestation of disinterestedness in seeking to have a school of citizenship grafted upon the Nebraska fctlata uni versity the proposition appears to be gen erally received with distrust, as an open ing wedge for the creation of a school of politics. Mr. Bryan states that school of this character should ba able to attract students from other countries, and asks: "How ran wa better help the orient and the republics to tpe south of us than by edueatlng the more ambitious of then young men and sending thera back to apply American Ideas and ideals in lh working ; theacUTeprindple,rt?UJj,- -Jpi ii Pl"JBE2 ggv ;s wholesome and dzM us food for everyday in every home V Ne Phosphates Or out of the problems that confront their people?" Which may be answered simply by saying that the various universities and colleges ot the United States already af ford such opportunity In their regular cur riculums without the least hint or sug gestion of political Intention. The Ne braska university is already broad enough In its scope and embraces sufficient study In corresponding lines to answer every legitimate need. Grand Island Independent: One might come to the conclusion, Judging only from the present controversy at Lincoln, that Nebraska's citizenship is In a very bad way. It appears that Mr. Bryan has beeii making efforts more quiet and less of the lct-the-people-rule efforts than usual toward establishing a school of citlreftBhlp at the Nebraska State uni versity. The regents did not aee fit to adopt It Possibly they quietly conducted some Investigation and found the citizen ship of Its graduates not at all alarming but, on the whole, of a falr-to-middling charecter; at all events the suggestion was pigeonholed. Mr. Bryan is now charge4 with trying to force the regents, by means of legislative enactment. The regents wisely are saying nothing. It is gra-ely feared that such a school would ever and again plunge the institution into the whirl of partisan politics. And, aside from that. Is it necessary? If there is anything sorely wrong with our citizen ship can It not be remedied through the usual channels, where, too. a vastly greater number can be benefited than at tend tha state university. But the Inde pendent believes Mr. Bryan is unduly alarmed about Nebraska's citizenship, TEST OF LEGISLATIVE: NEItVK. Who Will Guarantee) the Parity and Genalneness of Clnnrs. Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph. A contemporary, discussing the pure food law, undertakes to predict what would come to pass If the rules applying to whisky were to be applied also to cigars and tobacco. No living human being, we are informed, can tell exactly what whisky Is. vet to define Havana cigars is a more difficult undertaking and one for avoid ing which the average dealer, whose Havauas are suspiciously suggestive of Connecticut and Pennsylvania stock, ma be pardoned. "Most of the Havana cigars sold," our contemiporary observes with some bitterness, "are an awful mystery." All of which is true enough, but what boots it to ripen? Unless it can be shown that the clgsr vendor la poisoning his customers with weeds soaked In formaldehyde or benzoate of soda what hope Is there of persuading the powers that be to lift the veil? As yet no man has had the hardi hood to edvance the theory that tobacco Is a food and to ue this as a pretext for Invoking tne same paternal supervision that Is now extended to the btef of Chicago and the breakfast foods of everywhere. The Syrup of and Wholesomeness The most delicious for griddle cakes of all makes or any use where syrup takes. A pure, wholesome food. toe. ije. an J foe A book of cooking and candy making rtcipts itnt fret REFINING COMPANY New York Keep Your Money . . . at work. Do not let a large amount lie idle. If you think you do not-need it for some months, it Is much better to put it to work, earning something. i A 3 Certificate of Iteiiosit is an ideal investment. It is safe; it brings a good income, and is available under ordinary conditions at any time, as collateral security. If you have 'valuable papers, jewels, etc., these should ba kept In a Safe Place , rather than about the bouse or office. $3.00 a 'year for a Safety Box is certainly very low insurance and a fgrm that you cannot afford to neglect. First National Bank of Omaha Thirteenth and Farnam St. Entrance to sjafaty Beposlt Yaults Is on 13th St. i --.. lTn qrij-uum LAVGH1. GAS. "Da you approve of the plan ot teaching pupils to box?" "Not unconditionally." replied the country pedagogue, remembering his husky It-year-olds. "Might be all right, though. If you'd authorize the teachers to carry guns." Philadelphia Ledger. "Why do you take such' an interest in the uplift of the farmer?" "I'm Jes' curious," answered Mr. Coin- tr.mm.,1 1 ' . 1. -1 1. ,'a .aIh' ft VlA same old throwdown in a new disguise." Washington Star. Former Customer (after a long absencei What has become of the pretty blonde that used to feed the hungry at this lunch counter? Dark-Pklnned Walter Girl I'm her: what you goln' to order, sir? Chicago Tribune. The man hater had Just announced her engagement. "But you always said that men were horrid creatures," said her friends. "So they are," replied the bride-to-be. "and here's my opportunity to punish one of them." They all agreed that It was real noble of her. Philadelphia Ledger. A traveler stopped at a hotel In Green land, where the nights are six months' long, and, as hn registered, asked a ques tion of the clerk. "What time rlo you have breakfast?" "From half past March to a quarter to May." Harper's Weekly. PO' OI, ADAM! F. I.. Stanton In Atlanta Constitution. I. Adam wux his own boss Twel ht gone ter sleep; Den it wuz he los' a rib. An' trouble In a heap! IT. He rlz up. he ris up Fer dar lie couldn't stsv: An' "Whir dnt rib I had?" he said. 'i one rib short today!" III. Den Kve it wus dat answered . An' skeered he wus, for shn't I null i nee ri .vuu lua I iir You don't deserve no mo'! IV. "An' now I gwlne ter tell you: Keep quiet ez a mouse, Kaxn 1 de very lady What runnln' of de house! V "Vou got ter make de money V'ou got ter rise an' shine; Git up an' eat yo' brakfas' An' go 'long whar you gwlne!" VI. Adam ain't say nuttln': De talkin' never cease; "I'll go dar, whar dem lions st Ter get my res' an' peace!" ' VII. You reckon he wuz peaceful'.' Befo' de day wuz gone Kve made hnn split de klndlln' An' put de kettle on. VIII. Adam po' ol' Adam! Fum den ontell dls day He hud des one opinion: "I sleep my rights away!" Purity air-tight tint. . cam rtAvo