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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 5, 1909)
THK U.MA1IA DAILY REK: Tt'ESDAY. .7ANTAKY 1000.
TniE -Omaha Daily He
POUNDED BT EDWARD ROSE WAT KB.
VICTOR ROEWATE. EDITOR.
Entered f Omaha (ostofftce as second
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fluhday Bee, one year
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V STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION,
a tVnt Nebraska, Douglas County,
George Tsaehuck. treasurer of TUs
Bee Publlshlngv company, being duly worn
says that the actual number of full ana
complete copies of Tle Dally, Morning,
Evening and Sunday Bee printed during the
month of December. 19 8. was as followa;
1 37.7M IT 37,370
2 37,810 18 30,800
a 37,370 1 30,700
4 37-O0 20 37,080
& 37,030 21 -...30,800
1 37.390 22 37t010
. ; 40,730
Leas unsold and returned copies.. 0,046
Net total 1'12'K?
Dally average .:..!?"
OEORQE B. TZSCHUCK,
Subscribed In my presence and aworn to
before me this Slst day of December, 1SKW.
WHEN OUT OF TOWN.
Sabavrlbers leaving; tfca city tem
porarily should have The Bet)
nailed ta them. Addreaa vrlll be
ckaaied as often aa reqaeated.
Ate Ruef expresses a desire to re
form. He will at least lead an hon
est life for the next few years.
It Is not the first time that Senator
Foraker has been a member of the
Down and Out club, i
Since the first of the year, It is a
long time between drinks in at least
four southern states.
Missouri still Insists that the Stan
dard Oil company Is not fit to move
In the refined society of the state.
Colonel Bryan says he has been de
feated three times on principle. It
has become a habit with the voters.
Scylla and Charybdls remain, al
though a little disfigured, since the
description written of them by Virgil.
Oklahoma Is to provide cases for its
surplus convicts. A cage would ap
pear to be the proper place for a jail
bird. Possibly the photographers are
back of the scheme for having so
many men mentioned as cabinet possi
bilities. This legislature will ba its own master.
Then why wait for orders from
The New York World makes 100
suggestlona to congress. The World it
apt to be sued for infringement of
the executive privilege.
It cost the government 1130,000 to
get the battleships through the Suez
canal. The toll is high, but it ia
cheaper than to go around.
If the democrats had three memberB
of the county board and the repub
licans only two, there would be no
question as to what would happen.
Mr. Carnegie is strongly in favor of
profit sharing with workmen in the
industries, but he shows no disposi
tion to make his plan retroactive.
John W. Gates is said to be looking
for a capable man to manage his cir
cus. He might open negotiations with
Ciprlano Castro, late of Venezuela.
Mr. Bryan is still at a loss to ex
plain his defeat in 1908. Some day
it may occur to him that the fault
may have been with the candidate.
Congressmen may breathe easier.
The president mentions no names of
members whose activities have been
investigated by civil service officials,
"How much money has Hetty
Green?" asks a correspondent. Don't
know, but it's a safe wager that she
has more today than she had yester
day. A native of Georgia has been se
lected to deliver the oration at the
Lincoln celebration in N ew York thus
making another dent in the sectional
The Standard Oil company is ap
parently willing to admit that Mis
souri can get along without it better
than it ran get along without Mis
The Omaha Street Railway company
Is trying; to improve the ventilation of
it caro and aaks the co-operation of
its patrons to meet that end. What
would it have the passengers do? All
ride on tbo rear platform!
Another Irglslatttn l about to con
vene) duly commissioned to make and
unmake laws for Nebraska. Although
the democratic preponderance in both
houa.es is large, the present prospects
are that the session mill bo replete
with turbulence and tribulation, but
extremely doubtful of fruitful results.
The fact la that, broadly speaking,
there are no grievously crying ills
afflicting the people of this state, wait
ing to be cured by legislation. That
Is the present democratic legislature's
good fortune. The last legislature,
under guidance of a progressive re
publican majority, gave the people re
lief from long standing evils and did
the work so thoroughly that little
more Is to be desired.
Efforts will be constantly made to
persuade members of the present leg
islature, that they were chosen on
specific issues, requiring the redemp
tion of particular platform promises.
The most, of them, however, were run.
ning on two platforms, with divergent
or conflicting pledges, none of which
was really at Issue. In other words,
Nebraska has a democratic legislature
not because of the platforms promul
gated, but because of a combination
of corporate interests that wanted to
rebuke the republicans and to insure
Immunity from the democrats.
Unfortunately, Mr. Bryan has pub
licly announced that Nebraska is to be
made an experiment station for the
various legislative fads and fancies of
the Denver platform rejected by the
nation at large. If so, that will be
Nebraska's penalty and punishment,
because no other state republican or
democratic with the possible excep
tion of Oklahoma, will undertake seri
ously to carry out that program.
DEFICIENT MIDDIES AND CADETS.
Discouraging reports come from both
West Point and Annapolis of the lack
of progress by the young men being
educated as the future officers of the
army and navy. The cadet corps at
West Point Is about 100 below the
normal number and of these some
thing like sixty have already been
posted as deficient In their studleB
and advised that unless marked im
provement la shown, they will be
The situation Is no less disturbing
at Annapolis, where 233 of the mid
dles, or more than one-fourth of the
entire number, have been posted as
deficient in their studies' and more
than three-fourths of these are defi
cient in navigation, the knowledge of
which is the most important of the
branches taught at the academy.
The students at West Point and An
napolis are supposed to be selected
from among the brightest and most
promising young men of the country
and the training at the two institu
tions is supposed to be the finest in
the world. The failure, or threatened
failure, therefore, of nearly one-fourth
of the young men in the two schools
must be Bet down either to over strict
tests, to lax discipline, to a fault in
the quality of students selected or to
a mistaken course of study.
Millions have been expended on
these schools in the last few years and
everything done to Improve the equip
ment, yet never before have such dis
couraging reports been received of the
work. The schools are liberally sup
ported at public expense and have the
best teaching corps available, and the
favored students are expected to make
good and can have no good excuse
RELIEF FOR STRICKEN ITALY.
The public will approve the action
of congress in promptly authorizing
the president to expend as much as
$500,000 for relief of the stricken dis
tricts of Italy and in using battleships,
transports or any other vessels of the
navy in carrying on this splendid
work. The action of congress bad been
anticipated by the president who, with
congress in recess,, has directed the
Navy department to land supplies and
naval stores at such ports as might
be designated by the Italian govern
ment and to use the officers and men
of the navy wherever their services
Later accounts. of the devastation
wrought by the earthquake In Sicily
and southern Italy sweep away the
hope that its extent has been exagger
ated and it must now be accepted as
one of the very greatest calamities in
the world's history. It would be Im
possible to overestimate the dire ex
tremity of those left alive in the
stricken district and In need of suc
cor. In Buch times, the relief is best
that comes quickly and there should
be no delay in carrying out the mis
sion of the congressional appropria
tion, it will require years for Sicily to
recover from the effects of the catas
trophe and relief provisions must be
made on a basis to extend over sev
eral years, but the crying demand now
la for immediate help for those, who
though fortunate enqugh to escape
with their lives, find themselves in
great danger of starvation.
COUNTY BOARD ORGANIZATION.
For the next twelve months the
county board for Douglas county will
consist of three members elected as
republicans and two members elected
as democrats. If the democrats had
three members and the republicans
only two members. It goes without
saying that the democrats would or
ganize the board and take upon them
selves the responsibility for Its acts.
With a majority of the ' members
elected as republicans, the republicans
will be charged with responsibility,
and while the minority members may
share the credit for good work, they
will try to put on the majority party
members all the blame for mistakes.
And yet there are rumors current
that tbo republican members of the
board may fall to get together on or
ganization. We do not think there is
any good reason why the three repub
lican members should not adjust their
differences, if they have any, and do
what they were elected to do. It is
not a question of patronage nor of
policy, because we have no doubt that
the democratic members-elect will co
operate with the republican members
with a view to giving the county an
efficient and economic administration
of the county affairs, but It is a ques
tion of party responsibility.
We suggest that here is an oppor
tunity for the various republican clubs
In Omaha and South Omaha to get
busy by resolution and otherwise to
make sure that the republican major
ity of the board perfects the organiza
THE PRESIDENTS ASS 51R
President Roosevelt's latest mes
sage to congress makes lively reading.
This message is the answer drawn
out in response to a resolution of con
gress asking for further information
on the work of the secret service and
an explanation of what was taken to
be a reflection upon the personal in
tegrity of Its members In that part
of the annual message dealing with
the secret service.
Mr. Koosevelt comes back along two
lines. First, he disclaims intention to
attack personally any member of con
gress and asserts that a false construc
tion was placed on his ptevlous words,
to which misunderstanding the con
gressional inquiry Is due. Second, he
reinforces his reasons and argument
for restoring the appropriation for the
secret service without limitation or
While many question the propriety
of injecting into a presidential an
nual message language that could be
so readily distorted into a serious re
flection on unnamed congressmen, all
must concede that the president
brings proof from the record that what
he said was strictly true In the sense
that henow explains It; and, further
more, that the usefulness of the secret
service is In danger of great impair
ment, If the restrictions placed upon
It at the last session of congress are
to be continued.
The president submits convincing
proof that the secret service has been
of incalculable value in safeguarding
public interests and shows that it is
absolutely necessary that the 'service
be under one head with possibility of
assignments of (men to the different
departments as needed. This position
of the president is fully supported by
the history of the land fraud cases In
Nebraska, the Beef trust investiga
tions, fight against Standard Oil, and
all the active work for enforcement
of the reform legislation enacted with
in recent years. Whether intentionally
or not, congress seriously hindered the
work of the law-enforcing branch of
the administration by placing limita
tions on the use of the secret service,
and the people will be with President
Roosevelt for removing those limita
tions. In this latest message, however, the
president again Invites criticism by
drawing on the personal equation. His
mention by name of men employed
merely as attorneys for law breakers
Is calculated to cast a cloud upon
them and falls to distinguish between
legitimate and illegitimate service on
behalf of their clients. It seems hardly
fair to shield offending congressmen
and derelict federal officials by with
holding their names, while at the
same time holding up to public view
fully identified private citizens against
whom no charge is preferred.
The various state organizations of
county officers seem to be maintained
for the purpose of influencing legisla
tion affecting those particular offices.
If this influence were exerted occasion
ally for the benefit of the public these
organizations would be entitled to
credit, but if their influence Is to be
exerted only for the benefit of the in
cumbents of the offices for the time
being they will soon lose their pres
tige. The general public Is apt to ac
quire the idea that all the county offi
cers get together for Is to figure on
raising their own pay, giving them
selves more help and reducing the
amount of work.
According to the local democratic
organ, "the old standbys of the legis
lative lobby will be mighty lonesome
figures at Lincoln this winter, If they
are there at all." it is much more
probable, and in fact already demon
strated, that "the old standbys of the
lobby" will simply be replaced by "the
new standbys of the lobby," but that
the lobby will be there just the same
and no more lonesome than hereto
fore. Senator Aldrlch Is said to be
alarmed over the prospect of a radical
tariff bill to come from the house and
to accordingly preparing one of his
own to be offered as a substitute in
the senate. This report will be a hard
blow to the democratic editors who
have insisted that the bouse bill would
bo an attempt to revise the schedules
The new State Board of Optometry
in the eighteen months that it has
been operating in Nebraska has taken
in a little over $3,500 in examination,
registration and other fees. Nothing
the matter with the eyesight or the
three members constituting that
If the people who annually protest
against the street fair as an unworthy
appendage to the Ak-Sar-Ben festivi
ties want to do anything to make their
proteata effective they will have to
start in right away.The only way to
abolish the street fair is to provide a
more wholesome substitute for it or to
make sure of a sufficient revenue to
meet Ak-Sar-Ben'a expenses from
One thing Is certain, the city tax
levy this year cannot be any higher in
Omaha than it was last year. The
major and council last year went the
full limit under the charter and it will
be Impossible for the legislature to
raise the limit in time for the next tax
Mr. Edison says this will be a great
year for inventors. Wish some in
ventor would hurry along with a de
vice that will close the window when
the alarm clock rings in the morning.
The new chief of police of San
Francisco Is making a record for nov
elty by discharging incompetent offi
cers instead of transferring them to
the residence districts.
Tbo Italian optimist may find en
couragement In the report that the
Strait of Messina has been rid of its
obstructions by the earthquake and is
The president's latest message to
congress will convince every one but
the crooks that the government needs
an active and efficient secret service
The zeal of our democratic conEress-
man to prevent our democratic mayor
from belne vprIpH with tho nower to
appoint police board members is easily
The Chicago Tribune says that
Senator Foraker is known las a con
structive statesman. The record
shows that he is also an obstructive
"The Winning of the South," by
William Howard Taft, promises to be
quite as Interesting a volume as "The
Winning of the West" by Theodore
Consider the Difference.
Statisticians inform us that the cost of
living has Increased 250 per cent during the
last 100 years. Still, It will have to be
admitted that living Is worth a good deal
mora than it waa 100 years ago.
Missions of Merer
Now, when the great armored ships of
war can be swiftly sent to Italy on er
rands of mercy, peace and goodwill, there
will probably be leas objection to the enor
mous expenditures of the nations In build
Protecting His "Scoops."
President Roosevelt, In refusing to per
mit newapaper men to accompany him on
his African trip, Indicatea that he has no
Intention of having the raw material for
his dollar-a-word stories spoiled by pre
Probably at this very Instant there are
hopeful souls not all of them connected
with the real estate business, either who
are planning the "new Messina." There
litis been a city on its site for twenty-five
centuries, which Is not merely a coinci
dence, but an Illustration of the persistency
of trade routes.
Overdoing the Jubilee Business.
That proposition of having a grand
reconciliation observance on Lake Erie of
tha centennial of Perry's victory, with
Oreat Britian and America joining, might
be all right, but don't grow so effusive as
to alter the Immortal message of "They
are oura" by adding "We are theirs also."
The French-Canadians and the British
fraternised at Queb.c'e tercentenary, but
blstory was not mutilated.
Aa Exemplar of Socialism.
Socialist J. G. Phelps Stokrs explains
that the reason why he doesn't divide up
his fortune among those who helped to
produce it is that It would give them oTily
about a quarter of a cent each and would
do them no good. This is practically the
same reply that the elder Astor once made
to a Ilka question as to his fortune, but it
failed to satisfy his socialistic critics, who
continue to denounce the possessors of big
fortunes Just the same. Socialist Stokes
occupies a glass house.
Excessive Toll of I.lfe.
The excessive loss of life and the ex
cessive waste of material in tho operation
of American mines as compared with the
lesser losses In the more difficult nd
hazardous work In English and German
mines furnishes sufficient cause for active
government regulation. The best results
may be anticipated from the willing co
operation of humane mine-owners. Where
there is lack of co-operation compulsory
means of relief are fully Justified.
A FECI LIAR BOYCOTT.
Race Track Interest Striving to Ball-
dose New Orleans Papers.
An application of a judicial principle, now
under debate, comes from New Orleana in
a form that will produce little dissent
among the moral. At that city the gam
bling Interests are charged with organising
a boycott against newspapers that oppose
the re-establishment of race track gam
bling. Judge Saunders of the United States
district court is stated to have brought the
reports to the attention of the grand Jury,
with the following comment:
We cannot permit a quasi-criminal por
tion of thla population to censor and dic
tate what the newspapers of this city shall
be permuted to say In their discussion of
public questions. And if there la a con
spiracy of thla kind then It behooves you
to Investigate it thoroughly and indict the
men engaged in It.
On tha moral question, which at this dis
tance ia tha chief Issue, the judicial utter
ance la Indisputable. The case presents
clearly the dangerous character of the or
ganised boycott.- It can be ao easily per
verted to the uses of the unscrupulous and
Immoral, and, aa illustrated in this rase,
had the boycott been successful, .applied to
tha suppression of free discussion and the
stifling of Independent opinion.
That is a phase of the boycott which no
thoughtful mind can overlook. But aa a
merely collateral point, since the president
has been so holly criticised as desiring to
encroach on state rights, and the courts
have been pointed out aa the barrier to
such sggressions. it Is Impossible to refrain
from tha inquiry what a United States Judge
has to do with a boycott which by the
statement of the case ia limited to a single
state, and under what national statute or
conatitutional clause a federal grand Jury
could find the indictment as suggested i-i
'.be ojotation lUivt,
m:brak rnKM ccmimrm.
Columbus Tribune: The Omaha Hep's
suggestion of a national frog exposition Is
long leap Into the future.
Stanton Ticket; Mayor Jim Dahlman ot
Omaha announces that he will be a candi
date for re-election. Evidently he has
contracted the habit from his friend at
Bloomlngton Advocate: Jim Pahlman ha
announced that he will be a candidate for
re-election as mayor of Omaha. One thing
can be said In Jim's behalf, nnd that a
that he has been the most talked of mayor
In the union. Ills hot air spiels have
been heard all over the country,
Lexington Pioneer: The Thirtieth Ne
braska senatorial district comprises four
teen counties and has a population of
about 70,000 people. Nebraska should be re
dlstrleted, and you eastern Nebraska fel
lows want to Jar loose. Central and west
ern Nebraska Is entitled to mors repre
sentation In the state's legislature.
Ord Quiz: Say, deaf populist friend, do
you like the political situation? No one
ever thinks of referring to the coming
legislature even as fusion. The populist
element is wholly forgotten. It is simply
democratic that's all. But you will still go
on with tha farce of keeping up a populist
organization, for a lot of you can swallow
a democratic pill only when put up In a
box labeled "Popifllst." Now wouldn't
that Jar you?
Rushvllle Recorder: The Corn show at
Omaha is said to have been a greater suc
cess than the Ak-Sar-Ben festivities. The
comparison Is hardly fair, as they are
widely apart in their object. One had for
Its object education by scientific methods
for corn raisers and others In similar pur
suits. The other provided a little diver
sion which we all crave In some form at
some time. We are glad to hear of the
success of both.
Weeping Water Republican: The word
is passed along that a democratic dally
paper is to be started In Lincoln. One ex
change Insists that if such Is the case,
only dyed-in-the-wool democrats should
own tho plant, and not as already an
nounced, those of doubtful parentage. The
suggestion Is a good one. and the republi
cans who have read The State Journal
during the late campaign can appreciate
the need of a partisan paper. The Lincoln
dailies catered to both parties In order to
keep out the veto competition that Is now
promised. An independent paper Bounds
nice, hut it doesn't fill the bill.
Kearney Hub: The Omaha Bee prints a
timely editorial on the log-rolling, buttonholing-,
lobbying habit, of everyone con
nected with the state university (and not
omltmg the citizens of Lincoln) for every
dollar that can be wheedled out of Ne
braska legislatures, and The Bee remarks
that "It Is to be hoped that the unworthy
system will not again be resorted to." Wo
will agree with The Bee that "the people
of Nebraska take great pride In their state
university and are always ready t) sup
port it as liberally us their resources Just
ify." but that "they do not .want the cur
riculum enriched with a course In the
gentle art of lobbying."
Sterling Sun: The republicans In the leg
islature will be In such a hopeless minority
that they can do nothing of themselves,
but the republican legislature of two years
ago made a record for the party of which
they may be proud and one which the dem
ocrats this winter will not seek to wipe
out, and now they can afford to assist
the democrats In the passage of any laws
thBt are for the good of the people, re
membering that the people are more In
terested In good legislation than they are
in partisan politics. Whether democratic or
republican, we are all compelled to live
under and be governed by the same laws,
and wholesome ones are the kind we want.
O'Neill Democrat: When a senator can
bo elected In Nebraska by direct vote of
the people M. F. Harrington can go to the
senate, If It is his wish. The Democrat be
lieves that no man in Nebraska In any
party can get as many votes In this slate
for thla position. No man has done ao
mucli for sound and intelligent reform in
this state as Mr. Harrington, and none Is
so thoroughly qualified to hold such an
exalted position as he. Mr. Harrington never
held an office, nor does he want one, but
Nebraska has a right to Insist on some
things, and Harrington for senator should
be one of them If the time shall come when
the people may choose a senator by direct
Wayne Herald: One of the platform
pledges made by the democratic party dur
ing the last campaign was to provide for
the physical valuation of corporation prop
erty so that tho rate making powers could
have this valuation aa a guide In fixing
rates. This pledge Is now worrying the
successful democrats, because at the same
time that pledge was made there was an
other promising to cut down the expense of
the state government and to reduce the
taxes to be paid by the farmers. It has
been reported to the democats who will be
responsible for what the legislature does
that Michigan spent J96,Ono finding out the
physical value of its railroads and that
Wisconsin spent (36,000.
Columbus Tribune: The new solons are
now concentrating their minds on the
thought of a new law for the guaranteeing
of bank deposits. We are not selfish
enough to want the legislature to adopt an
unsatisfactory law. The people of Ne
braska, by electing a big democratic ma
jority, along with other things, said they
wanted this law. The new state of Okla
homa, like a young man starting In busi
ness (who Is UBiially, in his own mind, so
much brighter than his father or "the old
man") passed laws that are even now
blocking the way of progress, and as the
banks of our state are of the most Im
portant of all Institutions caution should
be exercised in framing this law. We don't
want the law to be detrimental to our
stale. We hope to see one that will be
beneficial, for, above all democrats and
republicans, we stand aa citizens ot Ne
braska. A CROWDED COUNTRY.
Immense Loss of Life In F.arthqnake
Zone Was Inevitable.
New York Evening Post.
The vast loss of life which has befallen
the Tyrrhenian coastlands of Italy was due
In large measure to tho extreme congestion
of tho population. Italy as a wholo supports
35 Inhabitants to Its every square mile. In
Sicily the ratio Is 375 to the square mile
and about unhappy Messina the ratio rose
to 4j6. We think Sicily as ao exclusively
an agricultural country the land of wheat,
oil and citrons that It Is surprising to
find over one-fourth of Its population of
some 3.800,000 congregated in cities having
more than 25.U0O Inhabitants. Of such cities
there must be between fifteen or twenty.
The soli has had to stand the wear of
constant cultivation from tha times when
Sicily fed Athena and Rome, but tha Island
Is still a granary and a garden spot. It ia
still parcelled out among great land owners,
holders of the ancient lutitundia, who, with
their tenants and subtenants, crowd to
gether In the cities when the week's or
the seaaon'a cultivation la done. With
them they not infrequently bring their
farm animals and thus give to Sicilian
cities an aspect of particular slovenliness.
That a catastrophe of nature coming upon
such human congestion should work Im
mense loan uf lit aa iucviubla.
is desired by all of us, whether It be In the matter ot
money, valuables or ourselves.
If It Is a question, of money, can you do better than
your money In a bank of the known strength and stability
of the First National Bank of Omaha?
If it is a question of your valuables, why not use the
ot this bank?
Three hundred new boxes have Just been added to tlu
already large equipment. 100 ot them rent for 13.00 a
year each. Larger ones in proportion.
Ftfst National Bank of Omaha
Thirteenth and Farnam St.
Kn trance to
afety Deposit Taults
Is on llth street.
WHAT HESOl.lTIOS FOMK TO,
An Early Example for Later Day Good
The end of the good resolutions made on
January 1" usually sets in about the end
of January. Just as well, perhaps, for at
the best they are frozen and unhumun
devices to attain uprightness. It may be
the third week In January; It may be Feb
ruary; but they are pretty aure to go by
the board at last. A very lifelike document
la the diary of the crusty old Dr. Johnson.
We select a few Jottings:
"1760. Resolved, To rise as early as 1
"1761. My purpose Is, To regulato my
"1784. My purpose is from this time. To
"171 (September) I redve. To rise early;
not later than six, if I can; I hope sooner,
but as soon aj I can.
"1765. My resolution, I propose to rise at
eight, because, though I shall not yet rise
early. It will be much earlier than I now
rise, for I often lie till two.
"1769. I propose and hope to rise early in
the morning, at eight, and by degrees at
"1772. I hope to rise by degrees more early
in the morning.
"1774. I hope to rise at eight."
Evidently no lack of good resolutions; yet
only a few years before his death we find
"I have now spent about fifty-five years
In resolving: having from the earliest time
almost that I can remember, been forming
schemes of a better life. I have done noth
ing. My life has, from earliest years,
been wasted In a morning bed."
Few would agree with Dr. Johnson s
estimate of his life, but we may concede
that his resolutions were not of great
PERSONAL AD OTHERWISE.
January sales In Pittsburg will not affect
prices of councllmen. The goods have born
removed from the bargain counter for an
Uncle Sam may be a trifle slow In dls
pensing awards, but he gets there. A
Pennsylvania man lias Just received a
check for 66 cents, hh share of the loot
cuptured by a union gunboat In 1S63.
Thanks to the tendency of wedding cake
to improve with age the huge loaf rre
pared for the Elklns-Abruizl wedding need
not be thrown away. It will be as "fit" aa
ever when it appears at the wedding of
the "most beautiful Italian girl'' In Chi
cago. The Pennsylvania man who predicted the
world would come to an end December 27
Is carefully keeping out of reach of his
dupes. A few deluded mortals who hoped
to take on celestial wings caught colds In
stead, An expert In such things calculates that
as two Sunday cocktails induced a Chicago
man to caress a friend with a loaded
salad dish, two like confections would make
a Kansas man sob for more. Such are the
mysteries of thirst.
The story that it took $4,000,009 effectively
to bury the dual rulers of China will be
read with outward evidence of Inward
grief by the undertakers of Baltimore. In
the monumental city any sum over $60 for
a funeral Is regarded as unseemly extrava
grance by the aolemncholy brethren.
Mme. Schumann-Helnk, the robust singer
and mother of a large family, naively ex
plains why she prefers tha United States
to the fatherland. "In the United States,"
she says. "I gave last year 130 concerts,
each netting me $1,000. In addition I made
some money In singing into phonographs,"
Gomez, the new dictator of Venexuela,
is said by an American correspondent to
be an apt pupil of Castro, and to have out
classed his master as a cattle rustler. Con
siderable artistic skill was displayed in
swiping the presidency, but there Is some
doubt whether the maverick will take the
Chicago aldermen are convinced that their
servlcea are worth $3,600 a year to the city,
but as several of the members are hold
overs, whose compensation cannot law
fully ba raised, the more liberal associates
allowed them "secretaries" who will ab
sorb the difference between $1,500 and $3,50o
a year. This is a sample of the brand of
nerve that makes Chicago famous.
of all Makes
taste better, set better, are
better when served
"TIITIMi IT O V TH K IMMi."
Prospective Legislative Experiment
St. Paul Pioneer Tress.
Nebraska has "a hen on" In Its 1. R.sln ivi
chambers this winter, in the pi t sot, ,,f
William J. Uryan, who is brooding over it
proceedings to make It sure that certain
grand Ideas of his shall hatch out in ap
propriate legislation. He thinks that so fat
as possiblo the declaration of the Denver
platform should ho embodied in state en
actments. Well, it Is always better thai
a remedy, or a suspicious article of food,
should be "tried on tho dog" before It Is
dealt out to the family; and Nebraska will
serve the purpose of a dog. In trying the
effect of Bryan I te nostrums, possibly even
better than Oklahoma. The republican?
of Nebraska, who were so weak-kneed
that they permitted their state to go demo
craticthe only falling star in the northern
Ralaxy-wlll get only what Is properly com
ing to them If their state legislature shall
make a fool of itself.
I.I.X'ES TO A I.AKJH.
"Thai picture is by an old mister," Uif
owner stated proudly.
"Umph, umph," commented the criticd
visitor. "What was he master of?" Phil
Esmeralda You seem to be acquainted
with that shop girl who nodded to you
Gwendolen Yes; I don't dare to snub
her. She sold me most of tha pompadour
I m wearing and she remembers It. Chi
Tt does seem queer," mused the man
who seemed to be thinking aloud.
"What seems quoer?" asked the lnnocnt
bystander, who had overheard the remark
"That people who don't know right front
wrong usually go wrong." answered the
loud thinker. Chicago News.
Nell He's a college boy.
Belle t thought so.
Nell From his conversation?
Belle No, I was too busy listening to his
clothes to hear what he had to say. pnil
"I made my husband cross this after
noon." euiil Mrs. Caller.
"How was that?" queried Mrs. Homei.
"lie Was on the opposite side of the street
and I beckoned him to come over," ex
claimed the other. Chicago News.
With on ominous frown President P.oose
velt heard that hlsiory was being revised
"I don't want miiv monkeying with the
history I'm making." he said, an. I (sum
moned an expert on copyright. Philadel
She They say Bills can't throw straight,
hut when a girl throws a sly glance 1
notice she generally hits the mark.
le (recently bitten) Yes the easy mark.
Mrs. De Flashlelgh (dressing for charily
ball) I suppose I'll have to wear all mv
Mr. De Flashleigh Do as you please,
dear; but If they fatigue y iu. don't expec t
me to lug them around. Puck.
"I hid a Christmas present from my hus
band and now I can't find it. But then 1
might have known he'd discover It."
"Why, what was it?"
"A bottle of rare old brandy." Cleveland
Fladger How do you like your new
Digsby First rate. He's so agreeable;
never lajks religion to you at all, you
know. Philadelphia Press.
Teacher (of night school) Here we have
the familiar quotation, "where Ignorance Is
bliss 'tis folly to be wise." Give an ex
ample In which Ignorance may be said to
Shaggy-Haired Pupil Well, the wild ani
mavls in Africa ought to be in bliss. Thev
don't know what's going to happen ta
them in about three months. Chicago
Alas, that beauty so divine should die
And in one moment pass from tnoiiai
Likt some sweet star upon the brow of
Behind dark clouds that veil the azure
O guardian angels! did ye sleeping lie
Instead of watching, panoplied with might,
Bo Unit no thief should steal thai Jeftei
And change a Joyous song into a clgh?
Be still crushed hearts! naught do me
know but this:
Deep grief has come to take the place of
For beauty asks, blinding dull andr grev,
A starless, moonless night instead of day.
All wisdom Is with God, and all Is well,
Though heaven may drop Into the mouth
of hell. GEORGE W. CROFTS.
West Point. Neb.
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