TIIK OMAHA DAJIA NEK: WEDNESDAY. OCTOBER 21. IMS Tiie Omaha Daily Dei- founded iir tuwAim hoeewater victor iiuatwATKH. iuhtor. Entered at Oman rlasa matter. lorruc as oi:nd-j j terms of SiTScniPlloN. more at stake In the law subjecting lolly n-e (without Sunday . one year. V i ralwn v termlnalH to taxation for tnu Dally Bee. and Fnndav. one year , , , dkmvi:hi:d by twiuuhit. Itiloij.al purposes than In any or the Dally Kofi (Including Sunday), pT week. 1V ! other reform measures. Daily Hee (wlthnut Sunday. pr w-K . . m: i Evening Hm (without fmirln v I. per week c i Evening Hee ,.ith Humla) ). ter wenk.,.1"c , Sunday Bet, nni year !M Saturday Bee, one year Address all complaints of irregularities In delivery to Cltv Circulation Department OFFICER. Omaha The Bee Building. Bouth Omaha Twenty-fourth and N. Council Bluffs 15 Bcott ptreet. 'hlcago 1Mb Marquette Building. New York-Rooms Uul-lPC. Nu. 34 West Thirty-third Htreet. Washington T&i Fourteenth Ftreet, N. W. CORRESPONDENCE. Communications rets'ing to nw nd editorial matter should b addressed; Omaha Bee, Editorial Department. REMITTANCES. Remit by draft, express or postal order payable to The Bee Publishing Company. Only -ent Ktampi received In payment of mall account Personal chock, except on Omaha or eastern exchanges, not accepted. By using the various department of The Bee Want Ad Pags you get the beat rf suits at the leaat expenaa. STATEMENT OF" C1RCCLATION. Btata of Nebraska, Douglas County, ss. : Oeorge B Tsachuck. treasurer of The Bee Publishing Company, being duly worn, aaya that the actual number ot f'HI and complete copies of The Dally. Morning. Evening and Sunday Bee printed during the; month of September. 130S, was as rollows: 1 30,000 t 97,630 t 3.06O 4 8S.SS0 36.140 38,700 7 38,630 I 3,6I0 t 38440 16 38,810 II 38.880 1 8S,BO0 II 38,800 14 . 38,388 ' II..' 38,380 36,190 17 38.300 II 36,340 It 36,370 JO 36,000 1 38,830 22 36,830 IS 36,490 24 38,880 2 36,460 2...'. 36,490 IT 37,700 18 38.440 21...: 36,490 10 36,700 Total 1,098,390 Less unsold and returned copies. . 8,437 Net total, Dally average GEOttOB B. 1,086,983 36,9.38 TZ.SCHUCK, Treasurer. Subscribed In my presence and sworn to before me this 1st day of October, 1906. (Seal.) ROBERT HUNTER. Notary Public. WHKX OCT OP TOWJT. abacrfbera leaving; the city tem porarily Id ' have The Beet mailed to thean. Address will 1e changed as oflra as requested. The base ball fans are learning to talk English again. "Old gas metera must go," says the New York Times. They do. Wyoming and Colorado are sending messages of cheer to the coal man. Morse, the "ice king," Is on trial in New York and the lawyers are making it hot for him. The man who falls to register will have no more voice in the elections than a suffragette. ' " " "Wo are fond of all sorts of pie," bays the Ohio State Journal. That's an Ohio weakness. Mr. Hearst is still pursuing his fad of collecting autograph letters from senators and oil magnates. The mint at Philadelphia. Is working overtime. It Is a cheering sign when Uncle Sam Is making money. The $20,000 Jackpot of 1104 la be ing duplicated in Nebraska, but with out getting In such big chunks. The progress of the campaign In Ne braska gives less and less comfort to the democrats as the days go by. Montenegro declares it Is not pre pared for war. Its standing army is probably taking its annual vacation The list of promlneut democrats who have not contributed to the cam paign fund is too long for publication. Has anyone discovered any marked hostility on the part of any of the trusts to Mr. Bryan In this campaign Tho Pullman company has issued an order -prohibiting tippling among its employes. Why not prohibit tipping too? "wntter and eggs are up again says a market report. The housewife would like to know when they were down. Speaker Cannon Is studying French The speaker may have a desire to ex press some of his feelings iu a foreign tongue. John Worth Kern declares that he is an optimist. The man who has a railroad pass these days naturally feels that way. Th discovery of Borne fossil eggs Is reported from Wyoming. The cold storage houses have had that kind for a long time. A base ball pitcher has been nomi nated for the legislature In Maryland. As an orator he is said to have a very effective delivery. Why is It that the local democrats are so anxious to return the Howell Ransom combination to the state ben ate? Is it possible that there is any thing In sight? Mrs.' Grace Suell-Cofflu - Coflln-Walker-Laynian-Love is seeking a di vorce for the purpose of marrying Mr. Layman again. Why doesn't she marry Nat Goodwin? Ther seems to be no trace of the panic anywhere except in the Gould family, where Howard has beeu com pelled to rut his living expenses from 1J5O.C0O to $300,000 a ear. 7ERM1XAL TAX. Whilo tho pootile ot Omaha and South 0maha mere itally Interested I In all the reform mcssurps put on the sistntc- book! bv Governor Sheldon anj the republican legislature, they wrrp more gppcially concerned an J had Terminal taxation was won only pfter a five-year campaign incessantly waged against discouraging obstacles. The terminal tax law enacted by the republican legislature and signed by Governor Sheldon ended an abuse of the rankest sort by which the most valuable railroad property In Omaha, South Omaha and other cities escaped municipal taxation entirely and the tax burden belonging on the railroads was piled onto the shoulders of Individual axpayers. The lowest estimate of the axes thus evaded by the railroads in Omaha alone was $100,000 a year, or the equivalent ot an added 1 mill on the city tax rate Imposed upon every private property owner. When the fight for terminal taxa tion was on the astounding spectacle was presented of an open alliance be- ween the democrats and the railroads, negotiated by Mr. Bryan's brother-in- law, as chairman of the democratic state committee, by which the tax shirking railroads were given the help of all the fusion members of the legls- ature who could be influenced by Brother-ln-Law Tom." In spite of this democratic treachery to the peo ple, the terminal tax law was passed and put into effect, and we are just about to reap the benefit of the first tax levied under its provisions. What are the taxpayers of Omaha and South Omaha going to do about it? Are they going to reward the demo cratic sell-outs and punish the repub licans who stayed on the firing line for them? It is the irony of fate that the democrats are presenting for election to the legislature in this county the two men who, in the legislature of 1897, were most directly responsible for inserting in the Omaha city charter the clause exempting railway terminals from taxation, which proved to be worth at least a million dollars to the railroads. Do the taxpayers of Omaha, South Omaha and Douglas county want to put themselves in a position where the rest of the state will assume that the mighty battle for terminal taxation has been so soon forgotten? Is it not fair to say that the republicans who fought the battle and won are more to be trusted to hold the prize than the democrats who tried to scuttle the ship? PAPER FROM CO? A' STALKS. Government chemists, after a series of experiments and investigations, de clare that a good quality of print paper can be manufactured from cornstalks, and at a cost much below tnat now in curred in manufacturing it from wood pulp. The paper supply has been a source of justified worry for a number of years. The destruction ot the forest areas has caused an almost complete elimination of the sources , of wood pulp in this country, and the supply has been drawn largely from Canada for a number of years. As a result the prices have increased to the point where tho entire paper consuming trade has been seriously affected. If 'he results of the experiments by the government experts are shown to be practical, the discovery will be of marked value to one of the largest in dustries in the country. It will add. incidentally, a new value to the farms of the great corn belt, and also pro vide a way for putting one of the big truBts out of business. It is as well, perhaps, not to become too sanguine over the cornstalk discovery. Chem ists have been working for years in a search for a satisfactory substitute for wood pulp. From time to time the canebrakes of the south lands have been looked upon as available for this Lurpose, and the meek and lowly cac tus of the western plains has been heralded as a pulp producer, but the results have never Justified either the hopes or predictions of the scientists It Is to be hoped that better success will come from the experiments with the cornstalks. THE MISSISSIPPI PLAX. A band of Mississippi citizens arose in their might the other night, near the city of Jackson, ami hanged two negroes who were charged with hav ing shot a white railroad conductor. Then they burned the horue of the negroes and those of other negro resi dents in the vicinity. The bodies of the two negroes were left hanging from a limb near the railroad tracks bo that Booker T. Washington, who was to pass the station the next day on. his way to Memphis, could see them. The day before the lynching occurred, the Jackson Issue, the paper owned and edited by J. K. Vardaman, former governor of the state, printed the following editorial: If Booker T. "Washington makes a half dosen more speeches In tho slate of Mis. slsalppl, mark the prediction: It will be the cause of a few Insolent negroes being hung and a source of infinite worry lo the housekeeper who is dally confronted mm, the aervant problem. Kor all of which we will be Indebted to a few pale-faced negro philists who encourage Dr. Washington In his nefarious work. Booker T. Washington's only of fense is that he conducts a great school for negroes in Alabama and has become a factor in the educational movement of the south. He is con tinually urging the negroes to learn trades, to make themstlve skilled workmen and to take their part in the industrial life of the south. In doing this he has awubed the hatred of the politicians of the south of the Varda- man type, who resent any effort to raise the negro from a condition of practical serfdom. Negroes of the north will do well to remember the Jackson ruse when they are urged to vote for Mr. Bryan. Wherever demo crats are In power, the negro Is dis franchised and denied his rights lie fore the la-. THE SALARY OF A BISHOP. Rev. Alexander Mann of Boston hae declined to accept the position of bishop of Washington, because he states that he has no private income nd cannot afford to live in Washing ton and meet the demands made upon a bishop on a salary of $5,000 a year. Bishop Brent, now in the Philippines, recently declined the Washington post. explaining that he considered it bis duty to remain in the Philippines, and further that he could not afford, from a financial standpoint, to make tne change. The late Bishop Satterlee had a pri vate income of $50,000 a year and is credited with having used practically all of it. Some of the Washington papers are urging that the salary of the bishop of that diocese be increased to at least $10,000 a year, and the suggestion has caused much discussion in Episcopal church circles. It Is urged that the clergy is underpaid at best and that it is Impossible to se cure men of high ability to fill such posts as that at Washington unless they have means of their own. That the possession of a private fortune should be admitted as a qualification for a bishop .of the church In Wash ington or elsewhere is a jar to the sensibilities of churchmen, and it is a source of regret that consecrated clergymen should hesitate to under take a great work through fear of failure due to poverty. BUYING THE ELECTION. As soon as the results of the election in 1S96 was definitely known William J. Bryan issued an address to the bi metalllsts of the nation, in which he charged that the republican victory had been won by the corrupt use of money, by coercion and the work of syndicates and trusts. He has reit erated thin statement from time to time, until perhaps he believes It. Now he announces that the repub licans are going to buy the election again this year. In speeches at Alton and Chicago on Monday Mr. Bryan de clared that the republicans were at tempting to raise a fund of $1,000,000 for the purpose ot lining up the trusts, the money loaners, the banks and syn dicates and for using the mosey "as they have used It year after year." Ike Hill, a famous New Jersey dem ocrat who figured prominently in poli tics at Washington for many years, once replied, when asked just before election what the outlook in New Jersey was, "We've got 'em whipped if they don't buy us." Mr. Bryan practically declares a similar situation to exist today. He believes the democrats will win if they are not bought before elec tion. It seems impossible for Mr. Bryan to avoid indulgence In such buncombe, which in this case is an Insult to the intelligence and integrity of the Ameri can voters. The men who decide elec tions in this country are not bought and sold like cigars. The farmers and worklngmen to whom Mr. Bryan has been making his most eloquent appeals for support will not be slow to resent his charge that they may be bribed to vote for or against him. The death of Alfred Darlow will come with a keen sense of personal loss to many newspaper men and other writers throughout the world. Mr. Darlow was widely known and greatly admired for other qualifications than those of a successful advertising man. He had the peculiar personal charm of a man of great literary attainments and warm personality. His work al ways bore the evidence of discrimi nating taste and was effective because it was carefully done. The campaign in Nebraska is warm ing up fast enough and the democratic barrel is spouting in every direction. The extravagant claims made by the Bryanite shouters are now being bol stered by pipe line streams from the national committee in their desperg tlon to make good. While talking about political pros poets, remember that no democrat can pobsibly be elected to office in Nebraska without republican votes, and there is no reason why a republican should vote for a democrat this year. Don't forget that Saturday of this week is the last day for registration, and that you must register if you want to vote, either at the election this fall or the city primaries next spring. No former registration la good. Aeronaut Holland's balloon had an accident because, as reports say, "its appendix was too long." Aviation is going to be an expensive luxury If the balloons contract that fashionable disease. An omcenoiuer in rvew York was discovered to have taken out his citi zenship papers only two days before hU appointrueut. Tammany may have promised him the Job before he came over. Former Senator Clark of Montana is to make several speeches for Bryan. The committee doubtless would like it better if Mr. Clark would let his elo quent check book talk for hlni. The Omaha Board of Education has very naturally disappointed the local yellow journals by suppressing a re port from the chief of the fire depart ment ou the condition of the public Taft or Bryan Which? Philadelphia Public The American voter must soon reach a decision. If he alts down quietly to think It over, he will be eurprleed at the simplicity of the propofltion that con fronts him. and amaied at the mas of Irrelevant stuff that has crept into the campaign. For example, one might imagine that the publicity of campaign contributors was a matter of vital Import, but when it Is apparent that admittedly neither party has or can get any money worth mentioning, even for legitimate expenses, the source from whence It comes seems hardly worth bothering about. Nobody doubts that both sides In the past took all the money they could get and asked no questions, but this Is ancient history there is no money now to wrangle over. So, as corruption by the Standard Oil. Senators and representatives of both parties have been included In Its assets. It Is not alleged or suspected that either Mr. Taft or Mr. Bryan Is among those assets hence that subject is but an in teresting reminiscence. So with the moral pbus the moral standards of the nomi nees are unassailable. The question In its last analysis nar rows down to which of these men Is likely to give the country the better administra tion. To that there can and will be but one answer. Mr. Taft has occupied Im portant public positions for a score of years, and nss always and uniformly made good. His judicial decisions have been assailed chiefly by those who have not read them, but nobody has yet charged him with falling to administer the law as he found it, which Is all a judge can do. His distinguished career In the orient and subsequently In the cabinet, has re flected credit upon himself and his country. If the simple question, Has Taft made good? could be submitted to the electorate, the vote in the affirmative would be well nigh unanimous. schools until such time as the com plaints may be thoroughly investigated and remedied. The people need no assurance that the Board of Education will do all that It reasonably can to make the Omaha schoolB thoroughly safe in every particular. Senator Lodge Inquires what demo crat there is In the country who is qualified to be secretary of state. Sen ator Lodge does not know Mayor Jim. The democrats themselves are be ginning to get onto Tom Allen's curves and the Tammany contributions are not helping his work in Nebraska. Oregon Is boasting of a peach that weighs seventeen and a half ounces. Omaha boasts of hundreds of them that weigh from 110 pounds up. Carrie Nation declares that tobacco causes tuberculosis. Carrie has evi dently been reading about the tobacco consumption of the country. After the Scare the Mo nip. St. Louis Globe-Democrat. It Is remarked that after a Bryan scare comes a Bryan slump. From the first, it has been noticed .that the Bryan noise Is in Inverse proportion to his gain In .sqlid support. Practice Work at Home. Chicago News. Before President Roosevelt is made peace maker for the habitable globe he might show his qualifications by putting a stop to certain barbarous features of class rushes and basing at our own universities. Polling In Hill. Wall Street Journal. Client- up! Hope need not be entirely abandoned. Today's treasury statistics record the fact that our International trade for the first nine months of the calendar year amounts to $2,028,000, and for the last twelve months to 12.M6.OOO.O0O. An Interna tional balance of $433,000,000 In nine months in our favor is one of the fundamentally sound facts of the situation. Nebraska Meeds No Medicine. Washington Star (indj. Nebraska gave Mr. Bryan Its vote in his first race, but then changed Its mind and leadership, and has aince gone republican. It needs no medicine, and is distrustful of new remedies for keeping Its health. Can Mr. Bryan win it back thla year? He is paying it marked attention and seems hope ful of making an impression. Personal re spect for him is high. But often that is far from political support. Itrran'a Partisan Emptyings. Springfield, (Mass.) Republican. About this time in a presidential contest partisan speakers run emptyings. As a t melancholy Instance of this behold Mr. Bryan denouncing Governor Hughes aa the backer of trusts! No man in American public life Is more clearly entitled to credit as the defender of tho rights of the people than the governor of the empire state. He is a reformer who has achieved results without talking everybody to death. AN OtTHAUEOlS ACT. Sample of Oklahoma Methods Prac ticed In Nebraska. Washington Post. The assault upon Mr. and Mrs. William R. Hearst by a Nebraska deputy sheriff, at the Instance of Governor Haskell of Oklahoma, was the act of a desperado, which ahould meet with prompt punish ment. Mr. and Mrs. Hearst were In a sleep ing compartment In a sleeping car, prepar ing to retire, when a deputy sheriff knocked and demanded admittance. Mrs. Hearst re fused to admit him, whereupon he broke through the door, brushing past Mrs. Hearst, who apparently was on the verge of hysteria. This was a piece of brutal ruffianism, entirely unwarranted except as a device to advertise the Insufferable Haskell. It was aa much an outrage as if the officer had broken into Mr. Hearst's own house. The editor had no means of knowing that an officer was trying to find him, and if he had known, there was no occasion on his part to dodge the service. In a statement concerning the affair, Mr. Hearst says he offered to donate to Governor Haakell enough money to prosecute his libel suit In order that it might be tried speedily. But Haskell did not avail himself of this offer, and now It appears that he has had the trial postponed until after election Mr. Ileaist says he does not believe the case will ever come to trial, and Haskell's actions seive to confirm this view. But whatever the merits of the contro versy, between Hearst and Haskell may be, the lawless and violent act of the N.-braWi deputy sheriff deserves rebuke. There was no excuse for It .even If It were lawful, since Mr. Hearst had given notice that he would accept service through the iiinil.". The outrage ia a good Illustration of the character of Haskell himself, and serves lo explain why he fails to hull the rj-t o fdecent iucov Ledger (Ind ). On the other hand, we have Mr. Bryan. As a preacher he Is a success: as a stump speaker, he has no equal In this country; as a destructive critic he has no superior. He is admittedly lacking In executive experience. So far as constructive ability la concerned, he has with great frequency suggested various panaceas for the coun try's ills, which have always heretofore been repudiated at the polls. One day It Is 16 to 1; another, abandonment of tho Philippines; a third, government owner ship of railroads, and now, limiting the output of trusts and guaranteeing bank deposits perfectly impractical and vision ary schemes, all of them. The Haakell Incident cast an important sidelight upon Mr. Bryan's Judgment of men. Taken at his best, Haskell was evi dently a soldier of fortune, a Wall streot promoter and execution-proof. Yet Mr. Bryan made him chairman of his platform committee and national chairman. One shudders to think of the possibilities of tho men with whom Mr. Bryan might surround himself, in the administration of the gov ernment. If one were looking for a man to manage a large private enterprise, and the two nominees were seeking the rositlon, no one would hesitate sn Instant in making the choice. The doer would be preferred to the talker; the practical man to the theorist; the man of experience to the experimenter. When important Judicial appointments are to be made, who can best be trusted to make them, the Judge, or the popular orator and public lecturer If Mr. Taft be chosen we shall have the country in the hands of a sane, experienced, well-poised man. Should Mr. Bryan be elected, we shall be In the hands of a man of good intentions, no doubt, of exceeding volubility of speech, a manufacturer of panaceas, and a coiner of phrases. We think the American people will enter upon no such haiardous experiment. BITS OF WASHINGTON LIFE, Minor Scenes and Incidents Skelechcd on the Xaot. The waves of political strife, the sheut irg and Jostling of marshaled partisans, apparently do not disturb the serenity of the social side of life in the White House. Tlans are being perfected for a series of functions for the winter season designed to bring the social side of the Koosevclt administration to a brilliant close. One of the chief events in the estimation of the younger set Is the coming out dance of Miss Itoosevelt, the president's second daughter, announced for December 28. While this will mark her debut Into thn social life of the younger set, as baa been announced before, the first state dinner she attends wllf really mean her formal debut. This dinner will be the first cabi net dinner of the season and will be given shortly before Christmas. Though the announcement sent out from the White House describes the entertain ment as a "small" dance, the number of Invitations will not fall far short of 1,000. The dance will be held In the East room of the White House and, according to present Intentions, will follow the plan adopted when Miss Allco Roosevelt came out, that of dispensing with the cotillion. Commissioner of Pensions Warner re ports a remarkablo case of stricken con science. Some time ago the commissioner got a letter from a pensioner of the civil war surrendering his certificate and on closing two $500 coupon bonds of the United State and n draft for JI72, thereby making full restitution to the government of all money- he had received on account of the certificate of pension. Commissioner Warner refused to give the name of tho soldier and declared he 'had not disclosed it to the treasurer of the United States, to whom were turn'd over tho bonds and conscience money. When the conscience contribution first arrived the commissioner caused an examination to be made of thn records In the case. On the showing the veteran was entitled to his pension beyond a question. A special examiner was sent out to make an In vestigation in thn theory that the soldier might be mentally Irresponsible. The conscience-stricken man was found to be In excellent health Hnd of sound mind. Thereupon the account with con science was declared closed and the bonds and money were converted Into the mlscel Isnrous receipts of the Treasury depart ment. Designs have been completed for new postage stamps of the following denomina tions: One cent, 2 cents, 3 cents, 4 cents, 6 cents, 6 cents, 8 cents, 10 cents, 15 cents, 50 cents and SI. The t- and 15 denomina tions now in use will not be reprinted. It will be somo weeks before all the de nominations will be put on the market. The 2-cent stamp will be the first dis tributed and It Is expected that shipments to postmasters will begin some time in November. The new issue has been de signed with the object of obtaining the greatest simplicity commensurate Willi ar tistic results. The profile has been taken In each Instance instead of a full view, giving a bas relief effect. All the stamps are of a similar design, containing a head In an ellipse, the only decoration being laurel leaves on either aide of the ellipse The lettering Is In straight lines, t the top being "U. 8. Postage" and at the bot tom the words "Two Cents." The 1-cent stamp contains the head of Franklin, while all the others will bear that of Washington, taken from busts by Houdon. The most notable differences In the new Issue will be the minimum of lettering. The colors are the reds and blues of the early stamps. Director Ralph of the Bureau of Engraving and Printing regards the new stamps as the most ar tlstio ever Issued by the government. "The national capital continues to grow in wealth and population In spite of the hard times," reports a Washington corres jpondiwt. "The annual assessment Just completed, gives the real estate valuation as S3J5,324,8;U, an Increase of $8.000,0i0 over the previous year. There are .found to be 65.619 buildings in the District, 1.377 having been erected in the year reviewed. The growth of Washington Is of national in terest. It has long passed the critical stage of Us existence, when men still doubled if it would be ever anything more than a straggling town. Today It has passed the Ai't.UJO mark, and its aspect Is n r ben without being obtrusively so. It Is a great residential city, and though on a giet trade route between the nurth and south obstinately, perhaps wisely, re fuses to become a mart or emporium. An artificial cupilal It is. precisely like St. Petersburg, which waa also built with the set purpose or becoming the seat of national government. The two cities have grown r.nd flourished around the offices of administrative activity, thus proving that a location eascntlally commercial Is not a condition prerequisite lo the develop, nient of capitals.'' Mrs. A. K. Brown. I'.i tent y-five year sn eirpert In the L'nltcl Ftatcs treasury has finished a task that calk. I f ir exceed ing putlenee ami deftness. A rdl cf bmiU notes which had been hidden in a tin ca "Baking Powder Absolutely Jf URE Insures delicious, health ful food for every home, every day. The only baking powder made from Royal Grape Cream of Tartar made from grapes. Safeguards your food against alum and phosphateof lime harsh mineral adds which are used in cheaply made powders. and burled In the earth for two years was given to Mrs. Brown to examine. The money had rotted and was little better than green-tinted pulp. She was so suc cessful In separating the decayed paper, piecing the bits and deciphering the letters and figures, that practically tho entire amount was redeemed and made good to the distressed owner. PERSONAL. ROTES. A real daughter of the revolution died In New York state, lately, at the age of 110. Her wonderful longevity is ascribed to her liking for bargain rushes as a means of exercise. Debs' meeting In Baltimore Friday night made the whole town stare, lie drew an audience of 5.0JK) people and every one of thejn paid 25 cents at the door for the socialist campaign fund. It is easy to understand now why the Balkan war cloud turned out to bo a fake. The famous Bashl-Bazouks could not break Into the game, owing to prior engagements as railroad section hands. Morse's office boy was permitted to borrow $100,000 a week, and had the neces sary security as collateral. Most office boys think they are. lucky on an occasional timely funeral on base ball days. A Pennsylvanlan, who earned a living by placing his head in a canvas hole for ball tossers to throw at, will not accept en gagement for the winter season. Doctors are trying to solder the cracks in his skull. A bull in Massachusetts stopped a fox hunt. IrrUated by the red coats of the hunters, lie chased the master of the hounds up a tree and when ho fell down caught and tossed him. The hunt was great sport, but It was all the bull's. The New Tork Times finds the pains and penalties of metropolitan llfo greatly Increased by the hats the women are wearing and asks why supposedly "self respecting women so disfigure themselves, offend the artistic eye and make nuisances of themselves In publlo places." Why. Indeed? The esteemed charmer, who was Lennle C. Chaplin forty years ago. sought regis tration In New York as Dady Cook. She was not as successful In securing electoral rights as she was In annexing a handle to har name, which served as a veil for a frazzled bacneiornooa. Dr. J. F. C. Iupan, who at 78 is return ing to his native land after years of service aa Austro-Hungarlan consul tit San Fran cisco, wax the guest of honrr at a dinner in New York's bohennan colony recently. He went to California In 1M!, making the U.rg Journey across the plains and moun tains In an ox cart. The public schools of New York will be asked to co-operate in the celebration of the Lincoln centenary on February 12 next. It has beun suggested by Charles R. Skin ner that Lincoln's Gettypburg address be read in every school house In the United States at noon in tho anniversary. Secre tary Root, who has been asked to deliver the oration on Lincoln day, lias been ob liged to decline, and it is probable that the orator will be Justice Brewer of the United States supreme court. Sitae Ml . y ?TTaiaraC Q I dgJasmV W II l JT J P A"1 V ei Ml I i.Arr.iriAG i.-a. "Ale you golnv to attempt In itnnw i ,i;l the charges maic nKiiinst you?" "Certally," replied rVnatnr Soi(;lniiii. "answering timiWH these ihixs i cusv, All you've got to dv is to say 'ynii'iv a;, other.' " usliingtoii Star. "Now. John. I thought on said you lui.l been duck shooting','" "Yes dear been duck shoot li.g." "But tlx'po jyu'yo .hi uuJii. . Juuic taina ducks.'' - - "Yen. I (amcd "cm fl t' I iwl 'i 111." Chicago Roconi-H.-rnlcl. ' -, Terrified Paapcngcr ton no in l;n r 'nn tain, why is tile Hteiinier point; so t-iuwiy and using its searchlight? Captain Don't b Hlarmol. iii.hIiiih; tin ship Is in tio dungi-4. But m a. I jh lik.- IhW we are always likely t.i inn i . - - a..m-loiy blooming old hall.inn ami ni.iki na.tty mess of It. Chicago Tr.luj.ie. "I am afraid Miss Flip Is iiiiimvi il in', me, nnd that she won't K" with us on thv climbing expedition vver that, litic hill. ' "Don't you believe ft. It doesn't take n woman long- to get over a little u a k.' V -Baltimore American. . . Member of the Woman's Christian T- in pcrancc Union Did you write titts notice of my lecture on tho l.ruou Ruin? Killtoi Yes, madam. Member of the Woman's Chris'laii Till. pesance Union Then I would -like hi know what you mean by'suying: '"Viv lo-um r was evidently full or lici subjuTt .'" .In "What right hsvo you to the nr. mis you occupy?' said the bahl-hcadid man in the fly. "There being no hair apparent." r-i.u ml tho busy buzzer, "f have 'uslirpe I Hi? crown." Boston Courier. - . Madge J low , is. Htoji; .(.jjiji !(. ,ik in Edith any more'.' rtnllv KhA won tht-po- ,,f n- riii"ii.ninni rings from me playing- bridge -I'm k. The Doctor Bryan Is golnj; to he elected that's a dead rertalnty. The Professor You arc right : u s a oi -tainty that no kinger exists..-! idea;" Tribune.. w ii kv vot; iiavk diim: it hunt S. K. Kler In the lb-t -nnl-l lei -aid. When you'vo done your best, ImvIi.x ihoped and planned. And, in splto of all, you have f.i'lcd to land; When you've done the thing that for in.inv days You have banked upon, and no word of praise Brings the flush of Joy to your i-an-woin cheeks When you've done your best, and In u no ono speaks The cheering word ou have huig d to hear, And nobody seems to know or iniv When you've done your best ami .too,, rivals hiieer And tho hopes are shattered thai win- so fair; . - When Hie dreams aro ended that wieVj sweet. And the victory that had seeuu-d so near Has heen turned somehow, iniei sore defeat-When you've done your best uflii pl.tiniiir.-, long, When you've had your cluini e is in) bave fallod to score. When you shrink from the gaze of t,, passing throng And wonder why ou had hopes hei .p -Then then, when your best has i u i1 , and all The airy castles around you fall, Be a victor yet with a Coiiciuei-or's will Fling your tiiallciise forth and do ii-;i-i still. has been made in St. Paul since 1855 and worn by millions of men, women and children. CJIf it were not a good shoe think how many ene mies it would have.