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TIIE OMAIIA SUNDAY BET7!: SEPTEMBER 27,- 1003
M-Sar-Ben Week, Specials
We of fer you during this time I large selection of 15 JKWELED, THIN .MODEL,
WATCHES, In 20 year guaranteed case for $0.50, regular price f 12.60. This price la
made for Ak-Sar-Ben week only. . .
Ladles' "O" size, open face, richly engraved case, guaranteed movement, which Bella
regularly for $13.00, Ak-8ar-Ben week price $10.00.
Boyi' Watch, Swiss Movement, fine time piece, in a neat.nickle case, regular $6.00,
during Ak-Sar-Ben week only $5.00.
Some Diamond Ring Bargains
We had mounted especially for this sale a lot of choice small stones In Tiffany and
Fancy Settings, your choice of these for $20.
Ak-Sar-Ben Visitors
will be welcome and will appreciate a viBlt to our new Electric Sighted and Mirrored Cut
Glass and fine Art Goods Rooms. Such a display as we are now offering is not to be found
In any other western city.
SOUVENIRS To take home with you Sterling Silver Spoons from 75c to $3.50;
Wedgewcod Vases from 60c up; Aluminum Pin Trays 10c; Japanese Pin Trays with Pub
lic Building in Bowl, 25c.
Leave your name and address for one of our 1908 finely Illustrated catalogues which
will be Issued In November.
MAWHINNEY & RYAN CO.
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BAAXDt
' Get Your Cuts?
This is an important question that means much
to you in illustrating your catalogue or advert
tising. Our employes take an interest in every
engraving that goes through ur house. They
are anxious to give you the quality that will
. bring this firm more business. C
We solicit your orders both large and small
Our Specialties) Commercial designing, me
chanical drawings, general illustrations, half
tones, zinc etchings and wood engravings.
Baker Bros. Engraving Company
OMAHA.
Adventures that Marked Trip Around; the World f
Head of Ak-Sar-Ben's Royal Navy
(Continued fromfc-PagenSeren.)
cal purgatory and later shanghaied by the
pirate crew of Samson, pilot to the king.
One at a time the chosen ones sit on the
north pole of the miniature earth. It starts
to revolve on an imaginary axis, whose points
are fixed at Monte Carlo and Broken Bow.
This new earth owned by the king knows no
orbit and does not use Its poles. It runs as
lawless as a motorcycle and Greenland's icy
mountains are soon tumbling down beneath
equatorial suns. When the candidate who
was seated in a comfortable chair somewhere
north of the Hudson bay reaches a point some
where opposite the Panama canal, Samson,
the powerful, removes the force of gravitation
from his earth and the candidate Is pitched
off into a great white space which looks like
a milky way without the cream skimmed,
but which is in reality a big-sheet made of
canvass and held up by four untrusty mem
bers of the crew.
About the time the candidate realizes that
the force of gravity has been removed from
around him and that be is to shoot with the
comets toward the Ursa major, he sees the
milky way and decides he would rather dive
Into it than to stick to the chair and depend
on his muscles to hold him on the earth while
the point at which he is hanging is whirred
recklessly through the unexplored regions of
the south frigid zone and he dives straight
toward the milky way.
But the same old moon is shining, and
It's the same old milky way, for It Is never
reached, the sheet being quickly withdrawn
by the would-be rescuers, the candidate falls
like a chunk of putty on a pine slab to a big
mattress of hay many feet below.
While the misguided one gathers himself
up from the soft folds of the mattress, the
crew of Samson's ship takes advantage of his
bewilderment and the audience becomes
strangely aware that someone is about to be
shanghaied.
The seamanship of Samson is above re
proach, but it was with diniculty that he
secured anyone to man his ship this year
without resorting to the methods of the tramp
sea captains and during the short season
he got a name on the high seas which would
make Jack London's "Sea Wolf" look like an
Innocent Venitlan gondolier.
The candidates were dressed hurriedly in
yellow slicers or white musling nightgowns
and driven across the gang plank. Once the
plank was drawn in, they were destined to
take the full voyage and a few to feel the
warm breath of a deep sea shark as he
pressed them affectionately against his palate.
Oregolre Zerald Sarpy is said to have -ni
vented a keelboat which would run safely
among the snags of the Missouri river, but
the man who built Samson's galleon made a
craft which would sail up a spiral stairway
or carry cargoes of candidates up Salt creek.
With the ringing of the bell and tooting
of the first whistle the candidates began pay
ing the penalty of the first days of naval life,
which is generally exacted by nature from
the youngest little middy or the rawest grlf-
Buttinsky and Buttoutsky
fin, viz., seasickness. Then the spray began to
splash down on the captives, not np from the
salt, brackish sea, but from the pails of water
placed about on the poop deck to make the
trip damp enough to be realistic. Something
about the water splashing down over the of
the deck above into the faces and over slick
ers helped the candidates recover their sea
legs.
But as the craft moved out into the stream
they were deafened by many strange noises.
There sounded In the ears of the captives
the roaring of water as of a huge milldam,
the thrashing of heavy sprays, the thunder
ing of many sails and shrill cries of seamen.
The whole world seemed to heave giddily
by and then giddily downward, and the can
didates bad to chase their thoughts for awhile
to realize that the noises were made by the
wheels on which the boat was run from one
end of the den to the other, and the shrieks
of seamen and thundering of sails were
really the uproar and laughter of their friends
In the audience.
Adventures did not end with the splash
ing of spray Into the faces of the candidates.
As the brig sheered swiftly and giddily
through the long, cresting swell on the star
board tack, a keen observer could see on
the left, under the arched foot of the fore
sail, a shoal of sharks frolicking like gold
fish In the clear waters of a mountain pool.
Of a sudden one of the dusky man-eating
sharks appeared at the prow of the brig,
showing a row of large, sharp teeth with
serrated edges. There was a rush of the
Innocent to see the great dogfish and then a
cry of pan.
"You sot and swine," the captain shouted.
"you've pushed him overboard."
Backing away from the boat the voracious
and dangerous sea monster could be Been
from all decks, bearing away In the huge
mouth one of the candidates who was crowded
overboard by the curious.
The shark, which grabbed more than one
candidate from the ship and pulled him in on
a tongue stuffed with excelsior, was always
running up to meet the incoming brig, mak
ing the trip on wheels and propelled by a
gasoline engine or other safe motive power.
It was not known to take any "dead ones"
during the entire season, regardless of the
tradition surrounding the sharks and their
reputed appetites for lifeless things.
In a convenient port the crew and vie
tlms of the shanghai plot came ashore and
were presented at the court of the king to
gether. In all seriousness, the grand mufti
gave the newcomers a charge each time the
ship came in, and each time he called on
visitors at the court, foreign ambassadors,
rulers and those who hope to be, captains of
industry, orators and those who still have
pebbles in their mouth, business men and
railroad managers all gathered about to
praise Ak-Sar-Ben, the kingdom and throb
bing, bustling metropolis, in which the throne
room occupies a center location.
From the log book of Samson's craft the
following extracts are taken:
June 1 Got to bed very late last even
ing, as we shanhaied a big bunch, and Frank
Ransom and C. S. Mpntgomery talked, oh!
ever so long. Then It was the first night
of the season, but tho crop is going to be large
and the catch good. The sea boiled white
all over and bristled with rings and bubbles
Indicating many $10 bills In sight. B. F.
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FRANK FITCH HAD THE THANKLESS TASK OF POSENO AS A CHROXIO
KICKER. ALL SUMMER, (
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ADMIRAL PAFFENRATH.
Pride of the Navy, Tenor of the High Seas and a Wonder In Ills Way.
WURN WAS A FAIRY, TOO.
BTRYKER ALWAYS RESPONDED TO THE PASSWORD
Thomas was Grand Mufti and he made
me feel jealous, because his voice is
better than the ship's big horn used off
the shores of Earrald. SAMSON.
June 8 With a bunch of American
Indians and cowboy business men
aboard the old ship tonight I thought
the Mackinaw would go down among
other deep sea treasures. A crowd
came along shore about 8 o'clock ring
ing sheep bells and singing in a loud
tone of voice, "Omaha, My Omaha."
They called themselves boosters, and
the few we carried aboard were a bard
bunch to handle. They talked a funny
language, said to have been used on
the Great Plains. One of the names
I heard was Raln-in-the-Uarrel and the
other was Jefferls peculiar names.
But the evening was a great success.
About 800 carried to the kingdom thus
far. No sleep at all. S .
July 28 Wind blew a gale. Up
roar, confusion, violent movements
and many landsmen sick at sea. The
forecastle Is a roomy place, but it
would not hold them all. One man,
with a broad smile, called Bryan,
showed he had traveled far by land
and sea, both by his actions and words
which be spoke before the king. Had
a good time, yo-ho, yo-ho, fifteen men
on a dead man's chest, but no botttle
of rum. SAM.
September 15 Sold the old boat for
a dry dock, after bringing the king
1,259 good ones. All rules were
broken during the evening, as a
woman came aboard. There is an old
sea saying that a woman on board a
pirate ship will keep away revenue cut
ters, but we decided the rule did not
annly to us and were glad to sell out.
What I will do for a living next year
is up to Gus. SAMP.
Tk Two Versions.
At jl dinner during the recent Episcopal
convention at Richmond a young; woman
silling near the blfliop of London said to
blm:
"BUhbp I wish you would set my mind
at rest as to thj similarity or dissimilarity
between your country and ours on on
point. Does the butytfly because lh to
mato can?"
The bishop laughed heartily at this vi
vacious sally. Not so a youiut Kngllshman
of his party, who, alter dlnuer, sought
his host.
"I w.nt to know, you know," said he,
"abcut that joke or MUs B 'a. She asked
If the butter flew because tomato could.
Pray tell Die what ID point torWippUk
colt's Magaslna.
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