TIIK OMAHA DAILY HEE: THURSDAY. SEPTEMBER 24, 190$.
!
The Omaha Daily Ufa
founded nr tdward roskwateii
VICTOR nOBETVATHR. "EDITOR.
Entered t Omaha pnafofflce as second
rlass matter.
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Dally Bee, n1 Sunday, one year ... .00
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OFFICES:
Omaha The Be Bul'dlng.
South ntnana--Twenty-fourth and N.
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Chlrarol6 Marr)Utte Building.
New York-Room 1101-1102. No. SI Wnt
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Communications relating to new aid
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Omaha Bee, Editorial Department.
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STATEMENT Cw CT,RCtTt,ATTON.
State of Nebraska, Douglas County. !.!
Georgn B. Txschuek. treasurer of The
Bee Publishing com pan r, being duly
sworn. ..aya that the actual number of
Till and complete coplee of The Dally,
Morning, livening and Sunday Bee printed
during th month of Auguat. 1908, was aa
follows:
1 18.130 .
I 35,830
S 38,880
17 . 4 38,480
Jtl., 38,110
. II.. S8.070
, 35,990
35,840
38.T90
3B,70 ,
aa,oo
36,470 '
3S.7M
38,838
21
it
2.....
.....
35,850
38,070
30,400
38,850
39,840
J.
10.!
21.. .16,140
,27 36,010
31... 36,830
M 38,450
.,, 35,500
11 36,130
11 38,410
12 38,010
II 3S.M0
14 1. 38,070
IS 88,370 '
It 35,000 ."
Total 1,117.000
Less unsold and returned copies. . 11,548
Net total .1,105,454
Dally average 35,659
GEORGE B. TZSCHUCK.
Treasurer.
Subscribed In my preaenee and aworn to
before ma this 1st day of September, DQt.
(SeaL) . ROBERT HUNTER,
' Notary PubUc
WUEK OUT Of TOWN.
Bajbseribetrs) learlaaT thm city taa
porarlly satonlfl ' kaf The Be
mailed to them. Address will t
changed aa often as reqarsted.
Carnlvaled yet?
The Betting ben also wears a sheath
skirt. '
Old General. Apathy may as well
surrender.
Governor Haskell's explanatory has
slipped a cog.
Mr. Bryan has got accustomed
losing legacy suits.
to
Indiana has a man who always walks
backwards. Yes, he's a democrat.
Thttxt teenres will have- to-a
point a waterways and means com
mittee. Mr. Bryan is a great student, but he
has always bad a poor rating in the
electoral college.
The theory of aerial navigation has
been solved. The practice of it is an
other proposition.
Mr. Hearst calls Mr. Bryan "a trim
mer." Mr'. Hearst is' mistaken. Mr.
Bryan is the ' trimmed."
Mr. Bryan may not be posted on
aviation, but he has paid a great deal
of attention to heirships.
The suspicion is growing that Mr.
Taft and Mr. Bryan do not think much
of each other as statesmen.
There is too much animal in us all,"
says a preacher. On the contrary,
some of u are vegetarians.
Mr. Bryan may have observed that
the American people. are not in favor
of voting to set the clock back.
Tom Tibbies must see another
$5,000 fee in sight. He has no news
paper to sell this time, however.
. Why not guaranty the investments
of a portion who buys stocks or bonds,
or shares in any legitimate business?
The Electric trust has been shocked
by the news that the president has or
dered an investigation of its methods
"Maryland Is in the balance," says
Colonel Bryan. Yes, on the same side
of the scale with nearly all of the
northern states.
Judge Parker says he will
never
again be a candidate for office.
He is
wise politician who knows when he
has had enough.
Brother-ln-Law Tom experienced no
difficulty in succeeding himself. "Tom"
has a ay with bim that Nebraska
democrats cannot resist.
John D. Archbold has been credited
with being "the brains of the Standard
Oil company," and still he doesn't
know enough to burn letters.
Colonel Watterson sajs that Mr.
Bryan, If elected, could do no harm.
The voters will decide to fleet a man
who doe not want to do any harm.
If the breweries and distilleries are
only permitted to run unmolested until
twelve months after Chafln is elected
president their owners will probably
make no complaint.
Councilman ' Alma Jackson has an
othr reform nieasura on the skids. If
ver democratic tocompetenvy for gov
ernment needed demonstration the rec
ord of the present city council fur
bishes ample proof
fTRADDLK FOR SFIAUI EAREttGER.
' Ashton (V Shallenberger of Alma.
Nob., la now before the public in a
double dual role. He is running for
governor as a democrat in democratic
districts and as a populist wherever
there may be found a populist voter.
This dual role would set'in to be
enough to occupy the attention of an
ordinarily ambitious politician, but it
does not satisfy the versatile- Shallen
berger. He Is not content with play
ing the roles of Marks the lawyer and
Phlneas the Quaker, but he is also
bent on being Simon Legree and Little
Eva, as well. In Douglas county he
win be a rampant advocate of "per
sonal liberty" and a foe to prohibition.
Outside of Douglas county he will take
his stand firmly on the populist plat
form, which declares unequivocally
for county option as a step toward
statewide prohibition.
This double duplex attitude of Br'er
Shallenberger ought to commend him
highly to the voters of Douglas county.
The "personal liberty" men will And
much pleasure In supporting him as a
friend of the liquor Interests, while the
prohibitionists will take equal comfort
in voting for him as a champion of
their cause. Mr. Shallenberger's plat
forms have the old darkey's coon trap
outdone In every regard.
CULUXEL UTRWART'S MA RTTRDCtt.
Democratic newspapers and spell
binders who are trying to make an
"American Dreyfus" out of Colonel W,
F. Stewart, now on detached duty at
Fort Grant, Ariz., will end by making
themselves ridiculous if their per
sistent misrepresentations compel the
War department to tell the facts in the
case and why its course Jn the Stewart
case has been deemed necessary.
Colonel Stewart entered the army as
a second lieutenant of -artillery In
1866. He is now 59 years of age and
will not reach the retiring age of 64
until 1913. Some months ago an at
tempt was made to Induce him to re
tire, but he refused unless he was re
tired with the rank of brigadier gen
eral. As It would have been a serious
injustice to place him In command of
any regiment, he was ordered to Fort
Grant, Ariz., where he is without com
mand, troops or attendants. The com
plaint of the War department is that
Colonel Stewart Is utterly unfit to-com
mand men. Wherever and whenever
he has been In command he has exer
cised his power in the meanest, most
offensive and unbearable manner, un
til he is thoroughly despised by officers
and men. He served for a time in the
south, and the Nashville American, a
newspaper that Is democratic to the
core, says this of him:
His petty tyrannies at Fort Baranoas
alone were Innumerable and showed him
wholly unfit for command. In the opin
ion of army officers and men who hava
had the misfortune to serve under him,
he Is the meanest man In the army. He
created trouble, friction and disturbance
wherever, he went, and seemed to delight
In conduct calculated toWfend,1 insult arid
humiliate those under him. Yet he never
violated any law or regulation, and no
man la the service la more familiar with
the regulations, lie reduced to a science
offensive conduct within the regulations.
hence he never laid himself subject to
court-martial. He Is despised from the
humblest private In the ranks to the con
trolling authorities In the War depart
ment. There would be no maudlin talk
of him if all knew the manner of man he
is. Ills cunsedness seems to be congenital.
It Is said the surgeons have discovered
that there is something the matter with
his heart. If so a retiring board will
fix him. He ought to have to serve In a
rattlesnake den the rest of Ills days.
THE CUSSKRVATIVE BRTAK.
It Is extremely difficult to under
stand how men of the stamp of Rich
ard Olney, Edward F. Shepard, Alton
B. Parker, Colonel Henry Watterson
and others who have stood for the prin
ciples of the older democracy cdn be
Blncere in their pretensions that the
William J. Bryan of 1908 Is not the
same William J. Bryan that they joined
in cheerfully and enthusiastically de
feating for the presidency In 1896 and
again in 1900. These men surely do
not accept Mr. Bryan's assurance that
he has turned conservative, particu
larly when he follows that assertion up
with another Insisting that he has not
changed in any manner.
Fairness to Mr. Bryan compels the
statement that he has given no real
cause for this change of feeling toward
him. He has given no reason for any
one to believe that he has changed
ground on any of his old follies. Less
than six months ago. In a speech at
Danville, 111., he said:
There is not a plank laid down In the
platform at Chicago in 1SH6 that Is not
alrunger iww, and there lsnot a plank in
the republican platform of -that year that
Is not weaker.
It Is true that Mr. Bryan i3 not now
making speeches in favor of a 50-cent
dollar, but he has never recanted any
thing he said in their favor in 1896
and In 1900. "If protection has slain
its thousands," said Mr. Bryan in his
speech at the Chicago convention in
1896, "the gold standard has slain its
tens of thousands." While Mr. Bryan's
friends claim he has turned conserva
tive, he has given no hint that he is
ready to let that awful slaughter go
unavenged.
From the day of his return from Eu
rope In 1906 until a few days before
the Denver convention, Mr. Bryan fa
vored and urged the government own
ership of railroads. Within the year he
has written for publication letters In
which he declared bis belief that rail
road regulation must tail and "relief
from extortionate railroaj rates will
not come until the railroads are the
property of the governmentvand oper
ated by the government in iie inter
ests of the people." He has Vever re
pudiated that folly. He squliita when
questioned on the subject aud replies
that he will not discuss It, becse it
la not mentioned in the Denverydat
form. Certainly Mr. Bryan has not
grown conservative ou the questi of
railroads and their relation to the gov
ernment. Mr. Br an has retracted nothing of
his assault upon the supreme court of
the united States In 1896 when he
threatened. If elected, ' to pack that
body in the Interests of some of his
fads. Mr. Bryan has given no assur
ance that. If elected, he would not
bring tip every blessed one of the va
garies he urged In 1896 and In 1900
and Rttempt to have them enacted Into
legislation. Those who are support
ing Mr. Bryan on the theory that he
has grown conservative are deluding
themselves. He is the same Bryan,
with the same wavering temperament
and the same unstable methods of
thought and reasoning on the great Is
sues of the day that have characterized
his entire public career.
THE HOHT AOAIXST TCBERCVLOS1S.
All Americans can endorse enthusi
astically the platform being framed by
the tuberculosis congress, now In ses
sion at Washington, providing for a
nation-wide campaign , against the
white plague. The world's most emi
nent physicians are participating In the
congress and offering the assurance
that medical science will triumph over
the white plague, just as It has tri
umphed over the red plague and the
black plague, as soon aa the people
are educated to the point of lending
their co-operation by the observance of
common sanitary laws and the adop
tion of ordinary precautions against
the spread of the disease, which causes
the death of 100,000 Americans every
year and marks another 100,000 for
years of illness and Incapacity.
Physicians are generally agreed that
the great need is for education of the
people. It is proposed to have all hu
man organizations fraternal organiz
ations, charitable organizations, legis
lative bodies, commercial clubs, minis
terial organizations, women's clubs and
the public schools unite In spreading
the information designed to prevent
consumption by removing its causes. It
is now generally admitted that tuber
culosis Is not a mysterious and neces
sarily fatal hereditary disease, but is
an infectious germ disease that can be
best prevented or cured by open air,
cleanliness and proper feeding. This
paves the way for vigorous work
against the plague, a work which
should command the services of all In
telligent persons.
IN DOVOLAS COVXTr.
The republicans throughout Ne
braska may rest assured that Douglas
county la not going to break, away
from the party lineup. The wild as
sertions made by the democrats as to
the number of thousands of majorities
to be given Bryan and Shallenberger
in Omaha are absurd on their face.
The mere fact that Omaha happens to
be temporarily in the hands of the
democrats must not be taken as an In
dication 'otfth' purpose o4Vthe voters
at the coming election. The last fall
eloccion' is a much better evidence of
the temper of the people, and at that
election the democrats were annihi
lated, republican majorities on county
officers ranging from 1,500 to 3,500.
Omaha is normally republican and
Douglas county is normally republican.
In the present election republicans
have only democrats to fight. No fac
tional division exists In the party, the
rank and file are united behind the
ticket. A fighting organization has
been effected and it is the purpose of
the republicans at the coming election
to roll up a majority for their party
ticket so decisive as to forever lay at
rest any hopes democratic candidates
of any stripe of belief may have of
securing an endorsement In the metro
politan district.
The platform adopted by the repub
licans at Lincoln Is in line with the
policy of the party. It Is square-toed
on every important proposition. It
advocates no fallacious notions and It
dodges no issue. It is a frank, open
declaration of a party that realizes
what responsibility of government
means, that has redeemed its promises
in the past und expects to make good
in the future. It certainly ought to
appeal strongly to the voters who
think.
I
The colored peoplo -of Omaha have
just celebrated the signing of the
Emancipation Proclamation and this
celebration should remind them that
it was a republican president who
signed that proclamation, and that it
has been under republican administra
tions that all laws to secure them the
rights of citizenship have been enacted.
When they remember this they will
not be deluded by democratic bait.
Governor Haskell of Oklahoma says
he Is not that Haskell charged by Mr.
Hearst with being a Standard Oil tool.
The other Haskell says he is not that
Haskell, but that that Haskell is some
other Haskell, and Governor Haskell
gets red in the face declaring that he
is not that other Haskell. This ex
planation removes any doubt the peo
ple held about the identity of Mr.
Haskell.
"What a man wants to believe Is
very easy to believe," says Mr. Bryan,
who has admitted that he wants to be
lieve in the government ownership of
railways, the free coinage of silver, the
wrecking of the Philippines and a few
wild notions of that type.
Mr. Bryan has criticised Mr. Taft'a
connection with the Benguet railroad
in the Philippines. The matter might
be significant if it were not for the fact
that there is no Benguet railroad.
The Omaha double-ender is getting
very little comfort out of the present
conditions In Douglas county. The
I harmony of purpose that now exists
among the local republicans has for
one of its objects the retirement of the
congressman editor from public life,
for which reason he is unusually ener
getic In his efforts to stir up factional
strife, but he will fail this time.
Minneapolis has a milk shortage
and Is getting 1,00:1 gallons of It a day
from Milwaukee. The country may
be surprised to learn that Milwaukee
is famous for Its milk.
Can't I.oae 'F.m.
St. IuU Times.
Of course, we're saving coal but there's
the Iceman still hangtng'round the back
door.
An Kxreptlon Anted.
Chicago Record-Herald.
Hartlman ays a better feeling exusts
toward the railroads. It Is evident that he
has not been consulting the people who
used to ride on passes.
Iftlna; Wheat from Chaff.
Washington Post.
Fortunately the American workingman
has been sufficiently educated to know how
much faith to pin to the stuff seven poli
tical parties are handing him this year.
Exploded Smartness.
Kansas City Times. t
One would naturally suppose that a man
of John D. Archbold'a experience in affairs
would know better than to write such Ut
ters. The notion about the Standard Oil
crowd being so smart Is all exploded, any
way. Trifling- with Iottb's Jim.
Minneapolis Journal.
One of the mean Jokes of the campaign
was the attempt to Jimmy old man Wilson
out of the cabinet to stand between the
Cummins and antl-Cummlns folks In
lowy."
"Teddy" on ke Spot.
Kansas City Star.
It appears needless to say that the presi
dent Is a llnquist. Is there anything that
the president is not? When the leader of
the Saengerbund that sang at the presi
dent's neighborhood picnic this week apol
ogized because he made a speech In Ger
man and proposed to have it translated for
the president, what did "Teddy" do but get
up and tell the people himself what the
speech In German was all about? No In
terpreter for the president. If you please
not even when he goes to Africa to kill big
game and mingle with Its savage tribes.
A Soaaratlon and a Warning,
New York Financial World.
As the agitation for a separation of the
railroads from their collieries will only
grow, why should the railroads not take
the matter Into their own hands and sep
arate themselves from their coal mines
through the same methods the Great North
ern railroad divorced itself from Its ex
tensive Iron ore properties? Public opinion
considers the ownership of coal mines by
railroads, aa far as these mines are not
needed for the production of coal for their
own use, as contrary to Its welfare, and
It will keep on demanding legislation until
It succeeds In getting IJt by one way or an
other. ....
The Scandal of Billboards.
Chicago Record-Herald.
The example of Europe would compel us
to Insist on a change for very shame, even
If we had no other motive. But, aside
from that, the condition Is resented by
thousands of. citizens who are striving seai
ously for municipal Improvements. They
feel that It is out, of keeping with tha ob
jects that they have In view. Furthermore,
the sense of InJtirV' and the desire for re
strictions are steadily increasing. It is a
very common thing now to hear indignant
protests against the billboards from peo
ple who have had no part In organised
movements for their suppression or regu
lation. The active reformers have the best
possible encouragement in an approving
public sentiment.
THHKES ULD FOGIES.
Remarks of the Ancients on Modern
Democratic Platforms.
New York Times.
Mr. Jefferscn sat under a chestnut treo
In the Elysian fields. He was reading the
New York democratic platform, sent from
Rochester by the Telepathic Unlimited:
"We believe that the people are best gov
erned who are least governed." "Well, Mr.
Madison, you must admit they remember
us yet and adhere to sound principles."
"With submission, Mr. Jefferson, even a
New York democratic platform Is best
read from the begtrnlng. Perhaps you
omitted to notice the remarks of our New
York friends about Mr. Bryan."
"Oh, yes, the Nebraska Jefferson, heh,
heh."
" 'Mr. Bryan's election will restore the
administration of federal government to
the ideas of the fathers' "
"To the Ideas of their grandmothers:"
cried Mr. Jefferson indignantly. "This
Is the man who wants the federal govern
ment to be a dry nurse of bank deposits,
to be the overseer of businesses of a cer
tain amount, 'fixed arbitrarily at 25 per
cent,' to coddle workmen by means of a
cabinet officer minding their business and
to make this same meddling overgrown
government own those steam wagons that
go so much faster and make so much more
trouble than the good old coaches of our
days. 'The people are best governed who
are most governed, that seems to be Mr.
Bryan's axiom. Ideas of the fathers! What
is that damned little federalist grinning
at?"
Mr. Adams, his ample clucks puffed out,
was contemplating his stockings benevo
lently and vainly trying to hide his glee.
"How are the Ideas of the fathers this
morning, gentlemen?. Come, come, try this
rappee and be happy."
"And when I take snuff, Mr. Adams, is
there a mortal democrat who will sneeae?"
The
General Demand
of tbe Well-Informed of the World hai
always been for a simple, pleasant and
efficient liquid laxative remedy of known
value; a laxative which physicians could
auction for family use because its com
ponent parts are known to them to be
wholesome and tndy beneficial in effect,
acceptable to the system and gentle, yet
prompt, in action.
In supplying that demand with its ex
cellent combination of Syrup of Figs and
Dixir of Senns, the California Fig Syrup
Co. proceeds along ethics! lines and relies
on the merits of the laxative for its remark
able succeM.
That is oue of many reasons why
Syrup of Figs and Elixir of Senna is given
the preference by the Well-informed.
To get its beneficial effects always buy
the genuine manufactured by the Cali
fornia Fig Syrup Co., only, and for sals
by all leading druggif . Price fifty centi
W bo '
OV rRCMDEMIAI. FIH1XO MX.
Democratic- Foa Hnrna Snaadlas All
Ports of Discords.
Wsshlngton Post (Ind.K
There was one argument made to A in a -ham
Lincoln In the famous debate with
Stephen A. Douglas Just fifty years sue,
that attracted universal sltentlon at the
time, and did much to make Its author
president of the t'nlted Stales, It was
from the text, "A house divided against
Itself cannot stand." and It was a powerful
plea the only one of that Titanic debate
that Is now rccslled by the ordinarily In
formed man.
Ia the democratic house In accord this
year? Here is the New York World de
manding that Mr. Rryan assail President
Roosevelt, but Mr. Bryan has glve'n cordial
Indorsement to Mr. Roosevelt's policies.
Then conies the Intrepid Colonel Henry
Watterson, head of the Bryan preas
bureau, who aalls Into Roosevelt, smiting
hip and thigh, and declaring that he had
made an absolutism at Washington.
But Mr. Bryan says that Rooseveltlsm
has come to him hy descent, and that Mr.
Taft shall not have the core for that mat
ter, there is to he no core and that it la
his intention to amplify, to augment, to
magnify Rooseveltlsm. Indeed, Mr. Bryan
offers this as the paramount, "t am a
better Roosevelt man than Taft."
Some of tho democratic orators, notably
the Hen. Ollle James, assail the rule of
the republican party In terms the most
savage, denouncing It for all sorts of
sins of commission and all sorts of sins of
omission; hut then the average democratic
orator Is hunting up the grand Jury to In
dict the g. o. p. for etlt larceny, in that
It stole Its policies from Mr. Bryan.
Some of our good democratic, brethren
criticise Mr. Brysn for not dwelling more
on the panic of laat year and laying It on
Rooaevelt. but everybody recalls that when
the panic came Mr. Bryan laid It on Wall
street, and unqualifiedly exonerated the
Roosevelt administration from all blame.
There was no election possible to Mr.
Bryan. He has commended Roosvelt's
policies In copious and fervid periods, and
It was not possible for him so brazenly
to stultify himself in that behalf.
But we Insist that Mr. Bryan should call
a conventicle of his leading supporters to
devise a line of coherent and consistent
argument for the remainder of the cam
paign. Ihe Hearst Campaign.
Cincinnati Times-Starr (rep.).
Mr. Hearst last week lifted the campaign
of his Independent party from its low level
of flatness and mediocrity. The methods
used were typical. Letters and affidavits,
some of them of a decidedly surprising
character, were trotted out in great pro
fusion. On the republican Bkle Senator
Foraker was the object of attack. Among
the democrats Mr. Bryan, Governor Has
kell, tho treasurer of Bryan's campaign,
and. Incidentally, Senator Bailey were dealt
with. It was a heculean effort, and aa a
result of It the Independence party will not
die of anaemia or ennui for a little while
yet, at least.
Without any desire In the world to treat
a really serious subject with undue levity,
we cannot refrain from quoting a Kipling
poem In which the character and exploits
of one "Fuzzy Wuzzy" are dwelt upon at
some length. It makes us think a little of
Willie Hearst in the present Juncture of his
remarkable and not altogether edifying
career:
An' before we know 'e'a 'aekin' at our ead;
On' before we know 'e's ackln' at our 'eads;
'K's alt 'ot sand and ginger when alive,
An' 'e's generally shammin' when 'e's dead.
'E's a daisy, e'a a ducky, e's a lamb,
'K's an InJIa rubber Idiot on the spree:
E'a the cn'y thing that doesn't give a
d-n '
For.-. a regiment of British Infantree, ,
Mr. Hearst, so far as we know, has never
broken a British square; the words "daisy,"
"ducky" and "lamb" do not describe him
as accurately as some others we might
mention. But the rest of the stanza Is
more or less to the point. Willie is not alto
gether a nice character. In fact, we have
made serious objection to his Ideals if he
has any and his methods more than once
In the rast, and we are not thinking of
apologizing for It.
Undoubtedly the Independence party,
seemingly half dead a couple of weeks ago,
Is stronger than It was under the stimulus
of the tremendous amount of advertise
ment that the events of the last few days
have given.
A Pol It Ice 1 Sensation.
Cincinnati Enquirer (ind.).
The political world Is in a ferment. The
leader and originator of the Independence
league is also the promulgator of a sensa
tion that is likely to have important effect
upon the result of the pending presidential
canvass of the electorate. Whatever Mr.
Hearst's speeches made by him at Colum
bus and St. IjouIs, It is apparent now that
he has probably created an issue between
the two great parties.
While the efforts of Mr. Bryan to draw
the republican candidate and his managers
Into a definition of the issue or Issues were
Just beginning to draw the fire of the
enemy. It seems now that the utterances
of the New York editor may shift the
entire plan of attack and defense to a new
position. While the tariff, guaranty of
hank deposits, republican extravagance and
other Issues appeared to be sufficient upon
which to wage combat. It looks now as If
there might be a quirk shift.
A demand for probity, strict Integrity and
attention to the business of the people upon
the part of public servants might serve
as an admirable platform for either or both
parties. It is not at all unlikely that Mr.
Roosevelt, with his quick perception of op
portunity, may embrace the idea, while, on
the other hand, Mr. Bry an will undoubtedly
make the most of the material thus thrown
Into his hands. The campaign to date has
been remarkable for apathy and inactivity.
It mny now burst, from the chrysalis of
lueitia Into unwonted excitement and
activity.
Another Shift.
Wall Street Journal (ind ).
Only a few months ago. speaking In Car
negie hall before the Forum, William J.
Bryan denounced the Stock exchange aa
a "Fagan's den of thieves" and described
Wall street as "a gambling hell" in com
parison with which Monte Carlo was insig
nificant. Yet Friday night, In the same hall, in a
political campaign in which he is anxious
to get the votes of the conservative busi
ness element of the rast. Just as in his
speeches In the west he appeals to tha
radicalism of that section, Mr. Rryan said:
"We are not even opposed to lh ex
change or the stock market."
When does Mr. Bryan speak bid true
mind?
Sons to Basluesa.
New York Sun (lep.i. I
intti'east Mr Brjanhasto be emollient
and lenitive, conservative. It is hard work
for him and he doesn't make a very good
J.ib of It. Take, for example, his elaborate
effort to atop the nervousness of business
and show that the democratic parly, which I
is and has been fur twelve years himself,
ia no disturber of business:
There is nothing in the democratic plat
form that need alarm any legitimate bust
neae. The democratic platform dlffera from
the republican platform In that our pany
distinctly declares hm it favors When
yuu trad the democratic platform you
know exactly what to expect, for the can
didates are pledged to tl.at platform. Vom
I nui only knuw what lu piaUoitn includes,
Perhaps You Have Only
lust Lectin to consider the
every true American feels that, sooner or later, he should own
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the beginning rs soon as you wish, but you cannot begin too
soon to lay aside tho necessary money with which to buy th
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Bought the Lot
tne otniuing oi tne nouse win ne an easy matter.
When you have accumulated $f0, it would be well to take
oue of the 3 per cent Certificates of Deposit of the F1ft
National lUnk of Omaha, and thus make a wise beginning In
the desired direction. These Certificates are absolutely safe
as an investment and your money is earning you something
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If you desire further information about thrse Certificates,
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but you know that it excludes everything
else.
Any "legitimate" business may pluck
up spirit. Mr. Bryan won't hurt It. What
Is a "legitimate" business? Apparently
one that doesn't control more than per
cent of production In Its line. To great
businesses and to small ones if their pros
perity happens to depend upon the duty
on un article which ia tho subject of a
trust, Mr. Bryan threatens disaster. The
small can be Injured by means of the free
list; the large by federal botherations. So
much for Industrial corporations. What
hope of hotter wages and better dividends
comes to the railroad business from Mr.
Bryan?
I'KIIMINU. ISOTK.
Ethel McAllister, aged 8 years, traveled
safely alone from Melbourne, Australia, to
New York, a distance of 7,500 miles.
if September keeps it up to the finish It
will end Its career, like Alexander, slghln
for the lack of opportunity to better lis
own unparalleled record.
A Connecticut woman has put up a 11.200
monument to her dog, although doubtless
the neighbors thought that In life a brick
bat was what the creature needed.
A club of first voters for Taft, Just
started in Cincinnati, already has TiS mem
bers. These young men propose to begin
their business careers under favorable
auspices and not a frost.
E. H. Harriman has accepted an Invita
tion to address the nineteenth annual ses
sion of the TranBmlssisBlppl Commercial
congress, which meets in San Francisco
on October 6 to 10. Invitations have also
been extended to each member of the In
terstate Commerce commission to attend
the gathering.
To the many honors already accorded
Dr. S. Weir Mitchell of Philadelphia, neu
rologist, poet, essayist and novelist, has
Just been added that of a foreign fellow
ship In the Royal Society of England. The
election Is ono of the choicest distinctions
to which a scientist can aspire, and it has
fallen to the lot of only three other Amer
icans now riving Alexander Agassiz, nat
uralist and George W. Hill and Simon New
comb, astronomers.
Willard D. Straight, consul general of the
United States at Mukden, returned to New
York on the steamer Philadelphia from
Southampton. H comes from his post
In Manchuria under Instructions from the
State department to report on developments
in hia territory during the last year. He
has traveled In the Japanese and Russian
sections of Manchuria and along the Amur
river, investigating Russian and Japanese
progress and business and political condi
tions. .Two months ago Mr. Herman Ridder was
so convinced thut Mr. Bryan could not be
elected that he went to Lincoln to urge
the Nebraskan leader to put aside ambi
tion and let Governor Johnson or Judge
Gray be nominated. The sorrowful pleader
of July is the radiant prophet of Septem
ber. He has already carried the west for
Bryan and thinks of throwing in New
York, New Jersey and New England for
good measure. Fortunately for his fame
as a political prophet, James K. Jones
passed away before the Ridder eclipse.
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question of owning a home. Nearly
St.V.M GKMV
Nan I saw poor dear 1il tiarlinehnrn's
young man the other day. H looks as If
she had picked htm up at a bargain counter
Fan Yes. and she got only a remnant, ai
that. Chicago Tribune.
"Father, I want some money ,''
"Tou're always wanting money. What
for?"
"I need a couple of new bows tor mv
violin."
"Oh, fiddlestick?!" Baltimore American.
Stella The word Is that hips must go.
Bella Dear me, I've already parted from
my appendix and given my han.l nwav.
New York Sun.
The Sauce Pan I wonder what mak I e
kettle so happy? It hasn't stopped singing
all day.
The Coffee Pot Why, didn't you notk.
Its new lid? Puck.
"Do you expect to make people believe
all you say in your speeches?"
"Of course not." ausweretl Senator Sor
ghum. "An auditor never wants to be en
lightened by any new facts. What lie wants
to hear Is something, he already believed,
so that he can say 'Them's my senti
ments!' " Washington Star.
After a sojourn of two or three da s in
the country the professor had returned
home and was cleaning up his badly Uttered
lawn.
"heaves of absence!" he commented
raklBhly. Chicago Tribune.
Till-; BASK UAl.l, ni:rORTER.
Edward B. Lyfttai In New York Sun.
I" know they say Biil Shakespeare was a
bird
At handing out the language rich and
fine
And spieling off the stuff In plays and
things
That set you up like drinking tony wine;
But when It comes to really truly zip
That thrills your fcolar plexus till you're
lame.
Why. Biillam ian't In 1t for the. fraction of
a minute '
AVIth the man who dopes the story of the
game.
C. Dickens, too. could sling, the English
some;
His moving picture scenes of life are
great,
And when it comes tn pulling laugh or tear
He put it always rlghi aoross the plate:
But when you talk of, stuff that's got Ihe
zip
And thrills your solar plexus 'till you're
lame,
Why, Dickens Isn't In it for the fraction of
k minute .
With the man who dopes the story of the
.i -.-? fcsL..?.; v.,K.ivr f'-.rV(
Our Emerson' Was something with the quill;
Subsisting on the brainy Boston beans
His thlnkery produced some mighty
thought
Though few can tell exactly what It
means;
But when you brag of stuff that's got the
zip
And thrills your solar plexus 'till your
lame.
Ralph Waldo Isn't in It for the fraction of
a minute
With the man who dopes the story of the
game.
Old Chaucer. Milton, Pope and Mnlllere.
Old Sophocles and Edgar Allan Poe
Could score a run 'most any time they
tried-
Thouirh they would surely starve along
Park row;
But when it comes to reallv truly sin
That thrills your solar rlexus 'till you'ro
lame.
These spielers are not In il for the fraction
of a minute
With the man who dopes the story of h
game.
BOTTLED' BY
N CSV
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