TIIK OMAHA DAILY HEE: THURSDAY. SEPTEMBER 24, 190$. ! The Omaha Daily Ufa founded nr tdward roskwateii VICTOR nOBETVATHR. "EDITOR. Entered t Omaha pnafofflce as second rlass matter. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION: Daily Bee (without B'indHy), nf year..i."0 Dally Bee, n1 Sunday, one year ... .00 DELIVERED BT CARRIER: Dally Be (Including twday. t-er we"k..ti; Dally Re thout Sunday). V"T k... Evening Fee (without Funday). per wck 6c Evening Be (with Sunday), per week...10c S'inclay Re. one year f-aturday Bee, one year "' Addreaa all complaint of lrrrpulsntl's In delivery to City Circulation Department. OFFICES: Omaha The Be Bul'dlng. South ntnana--Twenty-fourth and N. Council Bluffp 15 S'-ott Ftret. Chlrarol6 Marr)Utte Building. New York-Room 1101-1102. No. SI Wnt Thirty-third Street Washington-" Fourteenth Street, N. W CORRESPONDENCE. Communications relating to new aid editorial matter ahou'd he add! eased: Omaha Bee, Editorial Department. . REMITTANCES. Remit hy rtraft. express or postal order rayahle to The Bee Publishing Company. Onlv 2-ent stamps recMved tn payment of mall account. Personal checks, except rn Omaha or eastern exchange, not accepted. STATEMENT Cw CT,RCtTt,ATTON. State of Nebraska, Douglas County. !.! Georgn B. Txschuek. treasurer of The Bee Publishing com pan r, being duly sworn. ..aya that the actual number of Till and complete coplee of The Dally, Morning, livening and Sunday Bee printed during th month of Auguat. 1908, was aa follows: 1 18.130 . I 35,830 S 38,880 17 . 4 38,480 Jtl., 38,110 . II.. S8.070 , 35,990 35,840 38.T90 3B,70 , aa,oo 36,470 ' 3S.7M 38,838 21 it 2..... ..... 35,850 38,070 30,400 38,850 39,840 J. 10.! 21.. .16,140 ,27 36,010 31... 36,830 M 38,450 .,, 35,500 11 36,130 11 38,410 12 38,010 II 3S.M0 14 1. 38,070 IS 88,370 ' It 35,000 ." Total 1,117.000 Less unsold and returned copies. . 11,548 Net total .1,105,454 Dally average 35,659 GEORGE B. TZSCHUCK. Treasurer. Subscribed In my preaenee and aworn to before ma this 1st day of September, DQt. (SeaL) . ROBERT HUNTER, ' Notary PubUc WUEK OUT Of TOWN. Bajbseribetrs) learlaaT thm city taa porarlly satonlfl ' kaf The Be mailed to them. Address will t changed aa often as reqarsted. Carnlvaled yet? The Betting ben also wears a sheath skirt. ' Old General. Apathy may as well surrender. Governor Haskell's explanatory has slipped a cog. Mr. Bryan has got accustomed losing legacy suits. to Indiana has a man who always walks backwards. Yes, he's a democrat. Thttxt teenres will have- to-a point a waterways and means com mittee. Mr. Bryan is a great student, but he has always bad a poor rating in the electoral college. The theory of aerial navigation has been solved. The practice of it is an other proposition. Mr. Hearst calls Mr. Bryan "a trim mer." Mr'. Hearst is' mistaken. Mr. Bryan is the ' trimmed." Mr. Bryan may not be posted on aviation, but he has paid a great deal of attention to heirships. The suspicion is growing that Mr. Taft and Mr. Bryan do not think much of each other as statesmen. There is too much animal in us all," says a preacher. On the contrary, some of u are vegetarians. Mr. Bryan may have observed that the American people. are not in favor of voting to set the clock back. Tom Tibbies must see another $5,000 fee in sight. He has no news paper to sell this time, however. . Why not guaranty the investments of a portion who buys stocks or bonds, or shares in any legitimate business? The Electric trust has been shocked by the news that the president has or dered an investigation of its methods "Maryland Is in the balance," says Colonel Bryan. Yes, on the same side of the scale with nearly all of the northern states. Judge Parker says he will never again be a candidate for office. He is wise politician who knows when he has had enough. Brother-ln-Law Tom experienced no difficulty in succeeding himself. "Tom" has a ay with bim that Nebraska democrats cannot resist. John D. Archbold has been credited with being "the brains of the Standard Oil company," and still he doesn't know enough to burn letters. Colonel Watterson sajs that Mr. Bryan, If elected, could do no harm. The voters will decide to fleet a man who doe not want to do any harm. If the breweries and distilleries are only permitted to run unmolested until twelve months after Chafln is elected president their owners will probably make no complaint. Councilman ' Alma Jackson has an othr reform nieasura on the skids. If ver democratic tocompetenvy for gov ernment needed demonstration the rec ord of the present city council fur bishes ample proof fTRADDLK FOR SFIAUI EAREttGER. ' Ashton (V Shallenberger of Alma. Nob., la now before the public in a double dual role. He is running for governor as a democrat in democratic districts and as a populist wherever there may be found a populist voter. This dual role would set'in to be enough to occupy the attention of an ordinarily ambitious politician, but it does not satisfy the versatile- Shallen berger. He Is not content with play ing the roles of Marks the lawyer and Phlneas the Quaker, but he is also bent on being Simon Legree and Little Eva, as well. In Douglas county he win be a rampant advocate of "per sonal liberty" and a foe to prohibition. Outside of Douglas county he will take his stand firmly on the populist plat form, which declares unequivocally for county option as a step toward statewide prohibition. This double duplex attitude of Br'er Shallenberger ought to commend him highly to the voters of Douglas county. The "personal liberty" men will And much pleasure In supporting him as a friend of the liquor Interests, while the prohibitionists will take equal comfort in voting for him as a champion of their cause. Mr. Shallenberger's plat forms have the old darkey's coon trap outdone In every regard. CULUXEL UTRWART'S MA RTTRDCtt. Democratic newspapers and spell binders who are trying to make an "American Dreyfus" out of Colonel W, F. Stewart, now on detached duty at Fort Grant, Ariz., will end by making themselves ridiculous if their per sistent misrepresentations compel the War department to tell the facts in the case and why its course Jn the Stewart case has been deemed necessary. Colonel Stewart entered the army as a second lieutenant of -artillery In 1866. He is now 59 years of age and will not reach the retiring age of 64 until 1913. Some months ago an at tempt was made to Induce him to re tire, but he refused unless he was re tired with the rank of brigadier gen eral. As It would have been a serious injustice to place him In command of any regiment, he was ordered to Fort Grant, Ariz., where he is without com mand, troops or attendants. The com plaint of the War department is that Colonel Stewart Is utterly unfit to-com mand men. Wherever and whenever he has been In command he has exer cised his power in the meanest, most offensive and unbearable manner, un til he is thoroughly despised by officers and men. He served for a time in the south, and the Nashville American, a newspaper that Is democratic to the core, says this of him: His petty tyrannies at Fort Baranoas alone were Innumerable and showed him wholly unfit for command. In the opin ion of army officers and men who hava had the misfortune to serve under him, he Is the meanest man In the army. He created trouble, friction and disturbance wherever, he went, and seemed to delight In conduct calculated toWfend,1 insult arid humiliate those under him. Yet he never violated any law or regulation, and no man la the service la more familiar with the regulations, lie reduced to a science offensive conduct within the regulations. hence he never laid himself subject to court-martial. He Is despised from the humblest private In the ranks to the con trolling authorities In the War depart ment. There would be no maudlin talk of him if all knew the manner of man he is. Ills cunsedness seems to be congenital. It Is said the surgeons have discovered that there is something the matter with his heart. If so a retiring board will fix him. He ought to have to serve In a rattlesnake den the rest of Ills days. THE CUSSKRVATIVE BRTAK. It Is extremely difficult to under stand how men of the stamp of Rich ard Olney, Edward F. Shepard, Alton B. Parker, Colonel Henry Watterson and others who have stood for the prin ciples of the older democracy cdn be Blncere in their pretensions that the William J. Bryan of 1908 Is not the same William J. Bryan that they joined in cheerfully and enthusiastically de feating for the presidency In 1896 and again in 1900. These men surely do not accept Mr. Bryan's assurance that he has turned conservative, particu larly when he follows that assertion up with another Insisting that he has not changed in any manner. Fairness to Mr. Bryan compels the statement that he has given no real cause for this change of feeling toward him. He has given no reason for any one to believe that he has changed ground on any of his old follies. Less than six months ago. In a speech at Danville, 111., he said: There is not a plank laid down In the platform at Chicago in 1SH6 that Is not alrunger iww, and there lsnot a plank in the republican platform of -that year that Is not weaker. It Is true that Mr. Bryan i3 not now making speeches in favor of a 50-cent dollar, but he has never recanted any thing he said in their favor in 1896 and In 1900. "If protection has slain its thousands," said Mr. Bryan in his speech at the Chicago convention in 1896, "the gold standard has slain its tens of thousands." While Mr. Bryan's friends claim he has turned conserva tive, he has given no hint that he is ready to let that awful slaughter go unavenged. From the day of his return from Eu rope In 1906 until a few days before the Denver convention, Mr. Bryan fa vored and urged the government own ership of railroads. Within the year he has written for publication letters In which he declared bis belief that rail road regulation must tail and "relief from extortionate railroaj rates will not come until the railroads are the property of the governmentvand oper ated by the government in iie inter ests of the people." He has Vever re pudiated that folly. He squliita when questioned on the subject aud replies that he will not discuss It, becse it la not mentioned in the Denverydat form. Certainly Mr. Bryan has not grown conservative ou the questi of railroads and their relation to the gov ernment. Mr. Br an has retracted nothing of his assault upon the supreme court of the united States In 1896 when he threatened. If elected, ' to pack that body in the Interests of some of his fads. Mr. Bryan has given no assur ance that. If elected, he would not bring tip every blessed one of the va garies he urged In 1896 and In 1900 and Rttempt to have them enacted Into legislation. Those who are support ing Mr. Bryan on the theory that he has grown conservative are deluding themselves. He is the same Bryan, with the same wavering temperament and the same unstable methods of thought and reasoning on the great Is sues of the day that have characterized his entire public career. THE HOHT AOAIXST TCBERCVLOS1S. All Americans can endorse enthusi astically the platform being framed by the tuberculosis congress, now In ses sion at Washington, providing for a nation-wide campaign , against the white plague. The world's most emi nent physicians are participating In the congress and offering the assurance that medical science will triumph over the white plague, just as It has tri umphed over the red plague and the black plague, as soon aa the people are educated to the point of lending their co-operation by the observance of common sanitary laws and the adop tion of ordinary precautions against the spread of the disease, which causes the death of 100,000 Americans every year and marks another 100,000 for years of illness and Incapacity. Physicians are generally agreed that the great need is for education of the people. It is proposed to have all hu man organizations fraternal organiz ations, charitable organizations, legis lative bodies, commercial clubs, minis terial organizations, women's clubs and the public schools unite In spreading the information designed to prevent consumption by removing its causes. It is now generally admitted that tuber culosis Is not a mysterious and neces sarily fatal hereditary disease, but is an infectious germ disease that can be best prevented or cured by open air, cleanliness and proper feeding. This paves the way for vigorous work against the plague, a work which should command the services of all In telligent persons. IN DOVOLAS COVXTr. The republicans throughout Ne braska may rest assured that Douglas county la not going to break, away from the party lineup. The wild as sertions made by the democrats as to the number of thousands of majorities to be given Bryan and Shallenberger in Omaha are absurd on their face. The mere fact that Omaha happens to be temporarily in the hands of the democrats must not be taken as an In dication 'otfth' purpose o4Vthe voters at the coming election. The last fall eloccion' is a much better evidence of the temper of the people, and at that election the democrats were annihi lated, republican majorities on county officers ranging from 1,500 to 3,500. Omaha is normally republican and Douglas county is normally republican. In the present election republicans have only democrats to fight. No fac tional division exists In the party, the rank and file are united behind the ticket. A fighting organization has been effected and it is the purpose of the republicans at the coming election to roll up a majority for their party ticket so decisive as to forever lay at rest any hopes democratic candidates of any stripe of belief may have of securing an endorsement In the metro politan district. The platform adopted by the repub licans at Lincoln Is in line with the policy of the party. It Is square-toed on every important proposition. It advocates no fallacious notions and It dodges no issue. It is a frank, open declaration of a party that realizes what responsibility of government means, that has redeemed its promises in the past und expects to make good in the future. It certainly ought to appeal strongly to the voters who think. I The colored peoplo -of Omaha have just celebrated the signing of the Emancipation Proclamation and this celebration should remind them that it was a republican president who signed that proclamation, and that it has been under republican administra tions that all laws to secure them the rights of citizenship have been enacted. When they remember this they will not be deluded by democratic bait. Governor Haskell of Oklahoma says he Is not that Haskell charged by Mr. Hearst with being a Standard Oil tool. The other Haskell says he is not that Haskell, but that that Haskell is some other Haskell, and Governor Haskell gets red in the face declaring that he is not that other Haskell. This ex planation removes any doubt the peo ple held about the identity of Mr. Haskell. "What a man wants to believe Is very easy to believe," says Mr. Bryan, who has admitted that he wants to be lieve in the government ownership of railways, the free coinage of silver, the wrecking of the Philippines and a few wild notions of that type. Mr. Bryan has criticised Mr. Taft'a connection with the Benguet railroad in the Philippines. The matter might be significant if it were not for the fact that there is no Benguet railroad. The Omaha double-ender is getting very little comfort out of the present conditions In Douglas county. The I harmony of purpose that now exists among the local republicans has for one of its objects the retirement of the congressman editor from public life, for which reason he is unusually ener getic In his efforts to stir up factional strife, but he will fail this time. Minneapolis has a milk shortage and Is getting 1,00:1 gallons of It a day from Milwaukee. The country may be surprised to learn that Milwaukee is famous for Its milk. Can't I.oae 'F.m. St. IuU Times. Of course, we're saving coal but there's the Iceman still hangtng'round the back door. An Kxreptlon Anted. Chicago Record-Herald. Hartlman ays a better feeling exusts toward the railroads. It Is evident that he has not been consulting the people who used to ride on passes. Iftlna; Wheat from Chaff. Washington Post. Fortunately the American workingman has been sufficiently educated to know how much faith to pin to the stuff seven poli tical parties are handing him this year. Exploded Smartness. Kansas City Times. t One would naturally suppose that a man of John D. Archbold'a experience in affairs would know better than to write such Ut ters. The notion about the Standard Oil crowd being so smart Is all exploded, any way. Trifling- with Iottb's Jim. Minneapolis Journal. One of the mean Jokes of the campaign was the attempt to Jimmy old man Wilson out of the cabinet to stand between the Cummins and antl-Cummlns folks In lowy." "Teddy" on ke Spot. Kansas City Star. It appears needless to say that the presi dent Is a llnquist. Is there anything that the president is not? When the leader of the Saengerbund that sang at the presi dent's neighborhood picnic this week apol ogized because he made a speech In Ger man and proposed to have it translated for the president, what did "Teddy" do but get up and tell the people himself what the speech In German was all about? No In terpreter for the president. If you please not even when he goes to Africa to kill big game and mingle with Its savage tribes. A Soaaratlon and a Warning, New York Financial World. As the agitation for a separation of the railroads from their collieries will only grow, why should the railroads not take the matter Into their own hands and sep arate themselves from their coal mines through the same methods the Great North ern railroad divorced itself from Its ex tensive Iron ore properties? Public opinion considers the ownership of coal mines by railroads, aa far as these mines are not needed for the production of coal for their own use, as contrary to Its welfare, and It will keep on demanding legislation until It succeeds In getting IJt by one way or an other. .... The Scandal of Billboards. Chicago Record-Herald. The example of Europe would compel us to Insist on a change for very shame, even If we had no other motive. But, aside from that, the condition Is resented by thousands of. citizens who are striving seai ously for municipal Improvements. They feel that It is out, of keeping with tha ob jects that they have In view. Furthermore, the sense of InJtirV' and the desire for re strictions are steadily increasing. It is a very common thing now to hear indignant protests against the billboards from peo ple who have had no part In organised movements for their suppression or regu lation. The active reformers have the best possible encouragement in an approving public sentiment. THHKES ULD FOGIES. Remarks of the Ancients on Modern Democratic Platforms. New York Times. Mr. Jefferscn sat under a chestnut treo In the Elysian fields. He was reading the New York democratic platform, sent from Rochester by the Telepathic Unlimited: "We believe that the people are best gov erned who are least governed." "Well, Mr. Madison, you must admit they remember us yet and adhere to sound principles." "With submission, Mr. Jefferson, even a New York democratic platform Is best read from the begtrnlng. Perhaps you omitted to notice the remarks of our New York friends about Mr. Bryan." "Oh, yes, the Nebraska Jefferson, heh, heh." " 'Mr. Bryan's election will restore the administration of federal government to the ideas of the fathers' " "To the Ideas of their grandmothers:" cried Mr. Jefferson indignantly. "This Is the man who wants the federal govern ment to be a dry nurse of bank deposits, to be the overseer of businesses of a cer tain amount, 'fixed arbitrarily at 25 per cent,' to coddle workmen by means of a cabinet officer minding their business and to make this same meddling overgrown government own those steam wagons that go so much faster and make so much more trouble than the good old coaches of our days. 'The people are best governed who are most governed, that seems to be Mr. Bryan's axiom. Ideas of the fathers! What is that damned little federalist grinning at?" Mr. Adams, his ample clucks puffed out, was contemplating his stockings benevo lently and vainly trying to hide his glee. "How are the Ideas of the fathers this morning, gentlemen?. Come, come, try this rappee and be happy." "And when I take snuff, Mr. Adams, is there a mortal democrat who will sneeae?" The General Demand of tbe Well-Informed of the World hai always been for a simple, pleasant and efficient liquid laxative remedy of known value; a laxative which physicians could auction for family use because its com ponent parts are known to them to be wholesome and tndy beneficial in effect, acceptable to the system and gentle, yet prompt, in action. In supplying that demand with its ex cellent combination of Syrup of Figs and Dixir of Senns, the California Fig Syrup Co. proceeds along ethics! lines and relies on the merits of the laxative for its remark able succeM. That is oue of many reasons why Syrup of Figs and Elixir of Senna is given the preference by the Well-informed. To get its beneficial effects always buy the genuine manufactured by the Cali fornia Fig Syrup Co., only, and for sals by all leading druggif . Price fifty centi W bo ' OV rRCMDEMIAI. FIH1XO MX. Democratic- Foa Hnrna Snaadlas All Ports of Discords. Wsshlngton Post (Ind.K There was one argument made to A in a -ham Lincoln In the famous debate with Stephen A. Douglas Just fifty years sue, that attracted universal sltentlon at the time, and did much to make Its author president of the t'nlted Stales, It was from the text, "A house divided against Itself cannot stand." and It was a powerful plea the only one of that Titanic debate that Is now rccslled by the ordinarily In formed man. Ia the democratic house In accord this year? Here is the New York World de manding that Mr. Rryan assail President Roosevelt, but Mr. Bryan has glve'n cordial Indorsement to Mr. Roosevelt's policies. Then conies the Intrepid Colonel Henry Watterson, head of the Bryan preas bureau, who aalls Into Roosevelt, smiting hip and thigh, and declaring that he had made an absolutism at Washington. But Mr. Bryan says that Rooseveltlsm has come to him hy descent, and that Mr. Taft shall not have the core for that mat ter, there is to he no core and that it la his intention to amplify, to augment, to magnify Rooseveltlsm. Indeed, Mr. Bryan offers this as the paramount, "t am a better Roosevelt man than Taft." Some of tho democratic orators, notably the Hen. Ollle James, assail the rule of the republican party In terms the most savage, denouncing It for all sorts of sins of commission and all sorts of sins of omission; hut then the average democratic orator Is hunting up the grand Jury to In dict the g. o. p. for etlt larceny, in that It stole Its policies from Mr. Bryan. Some of our good democratic, brethren criticise Mr. Brysn for not dwelling more on the panic of laat year and laying It on Rooaevelt. but everybody recalls that when the panic came Mr. Bryan laid It on Wall street, and unqualifiedly exonerated the Roosevelt administration from all blame. There was no election possible to Mr. Bryan. He has commended Roosvelt's policies In copious and fervid periods, and It was not possible for him so brazenly to stultify himself in that behalf. But we Insist that Mr. Bryan should call a conventicle of his leading supporters to devise a line of coherent and consistent argument for the remainder of the cam paign. Ihe Hearst Campaign. Cincinnati Times-Starr (rep.). Mr. Hearst last week lifted the campaign of his Independent party from its low level of flatness and mediocrity. The methods used were typical. Letters and affidavits, some of them of a decidedly surprising character, were trotted out in great pro fusion. On the republican Bkle Senator Foraker was the object of attack. Among the democrats Mr. Bryan, Governor Has kell, tho treasurer of Bryan's campaign, and. Incidentally, Senator Bailey were dealt with. It was a heculean effort, and aa a result of It the Independence party will not die of anaemia or ennui for a little while yet, at least. Without any desire In the world to treat a really serious subject with undue levity, we cannot refrain from quoting a Kipling poem In which the character and exploits of one "Fuzzy Wuzzy" are dwelt upon at some length. It makes us think a little of Willie Hearst in the present Juncture of his remarkable and not altogether edifying career: An' before we know 'e'a 'aekin' at our ead; On' before we know 'e's ackln' at our 'eads; 'K's alt 'ot sand and ginger when alive, An' 'e's generally shammin' when 'e's dead. 'E's a daisy, e'a a ducky, e's a lamb, 'K's an InJIa rubber Idiot on the spree: E'a the cn'y thing that doesn't give a d-n ' For.-. a regiment of British Infantree, , Mr. Hearst, so far as we know, has never broken a British square; the words "daisy," "ducky" and "lamb" do not describe him as accurately as some others we might mention. But the rest of the stanza Is more or less to the point. Willie is not alto gether a nice character. In fact, we have made serious objection to his Ideals if he has any and his methods more than once In the rast, and we are not thinking of apologizing for It. Undoubtedly the Independence party, seemingly half dead a couple of weeks ago, Is stronger than It was under the stimulus of the tremendous amount of advertise ment that the events of the last few days have given. A Pol It Ice 1 Sensation. Cincinnati Enquirer (ind.). The political world Is in a ferment. The leader and originator of the Independence league is also the promulgator of a sensa tion that is likely to have important effect upon the result of the pending presidential canvass of the electorate. Whatever Mr. Hearst's speeches made by him at Colum bus and St. IjouIs, It is apparent now that he has probably created an issue between the two great parties. While the efforts of Mr. Bryan to draw the republican candidate and his managers Into a definition of the issue or Issues were Just beginning to draw the fire of the enemy. It seems now that the utterances of the New York editor may shift the entire plan of attack and defense to a new position. While the tariff, guaranty of hank deposits, republican extravagance and other Issues appeared to be sufficient upon which to wage combat. It looks now as If there might be a quirk shift. A demand for probity, strict Integrity and attention to the business of the people upon the part of public servants might serve as an admirable platform for either or both parties. It is not at all unlikely that Mr. Roosevelt, with his quick perception of op portunity, may embrace the idea, while, on the other hand, Mr. Bry an will undoubtedly make the most of the material thus thrown Into his hands. The campaign to date has been remarkable for apathy and inactivity. It mny now burst, from the chrysalis of lueitia Into unwonted excitement and activity. Another Shift. Wall Street Journal (ind ). Only a few months ago. speaking In Car negie hall before the Forum, William J. Bryan denounced the Stock exchange aa a "Fagan's den of thieves" and described Wall street as "a gambling hell" in com parison with which Monte Carlo was insig nificant. Yet Friday night, In the same hall, in a political campaign in which he is anxious to get the votes of the conservative busi ness element of the rast. Just as in his speeches In the west he appeals to tha radicalism of that section, Mr. Rryan said: "We are not even opposed to lh ex change or the stock market." When does Mr. Bryan speak bid true mind? Sons to Basluesa. New York Sun (lep.i. I intti'east Mr Brjanhasto be emollient and lenitive, conservative. It is hard work for him and he doesn't make a very good J.ib of It. Take, for example, his elaborate effort to atop the nervousness of business and show that the democratic parly, which I is and has been fur twelve years himself, ia no disturber of business: There is nothing in the democratic plat form that need alarm any legitimate bust neae. The democratic platform dlffera from the republican platform In that our pany distinctly declares hm it favors When yuu trad the democratic platform you know exactly what to expect, for the can didates are pledged to tl.at platform. Vom I nui only knuw what lu piaUoitn includes, Perhaps You Have Only lust Lectin to consider the every true American feels that, sooner or later, he should own the place where ho lives. It Is not always possible to make the beginning rs soon as you wish, but you cannot begin too soon to lay aside tho necessary money with which to buy th lot. After you have ' Bought the Lot tne otniuing oi tne nouse win ne an easy matter. When you have accumulated $f0, it would be well to take oue of the 3 per cent Certificates of Deposit of the F1ft National lUnk of Omaha, and thus make a wise beginning In the desired direction. These Certificates are absolutely safe as an investment and your money is earning you something while you are accumulating the necessary total. If you desire further information about thrse Certificates, we will be glad to have you call. First National Bank of Omaha 13th and Farnam Sts. but you know that it excludes everything else. Any "legitimate" business may pluck up spirit. Mr. Bryan won't hurt It. What Is a "legitimate" business? Apparently one that doesn't control more than per cent of production In Its line. To great businesses and to small ones if their pros perity happens to depend upon the duty on un article which ia tho subject of a trust, Mr. Bryan threatens disaster. The small can be Injured by means of the free list; the large by federal botherations. So much for Industrial corporations. What hope of hotter wages and better dividends comes to the railroad business from Mr. Bryan? I'KIIMINU. ISOTK. Ethel McAllister, aged 8 years, traveled safely alone from Melbourne, Australia, to New York, a distance of 7,500 miles. if September keeps it up to the finish It will end Its career, like Alexander, slghln for the lack of opportunity to better lis own unparalleled record. A Connecticut woman has put up a 11.200 monument to her dog, although doubtless the neighbors thought that In life a brick bat was what the creature needed. A club of first voters for Taft, Just started in Cincinnati, already has TiS mem bers. These young men propose to begin their business careers under favorable auspices and not a frost. E. H. Harriman has accepted an Invita tion to address the nineteenth annual ses sion of the TranBmlssisBlppl Commercial congress, which meets in San Francisco on October 6 to 10. Invitations have also been extended to each member of the In terstate Commerce commission to attend the gathering. To the many honors already accorded Dr. S. Weir Mitchell of Philadelphia, neu rologist, poet, essayist and novelist, has Just been added that of a foreign fellow ship In the Royal Society of England. The election Is ono of the choicest distinctions to which a scientist can aspire, and it has fallen to the lot of only three other Amer icans now riving Alexander Agassiz, nat uralist and George W. Hill and Simon New comb, astronomers. Willard D. Straight, consul general of the United States at Mukden, returned to New York on the steamer Philadelphia from Southampton. H comes from his post In Manchuria under Instructions from the State department to report on developments in hia territory during the last year. He has traveled In the Japanese and Russian sections of Manchuria and along the Amur river, investigating Russian and Japanese progress and business and political condi tions. .Two months ago Mr. Herman Ridder was so convinced thut Mr. Bryan could not be elected that he went to Lincoln to urge the Nebraskan leader to put aside ambi tion and let Governor Johnson or Judge Gray be nominated. The sorrowful pleader of July is the radiant prophet of Septem ber. He has already carried the west for Bryan and thinks of throwing in New York, New Jersey and New England for good measure. Fortunately for his fame as a political prophet, James K. Jones passed away before the Ridder eclipse. , V&jllllJ Exquisite Flavor V "VaiiL. WE have been brewing qui I- f t t,.v:. c ! ji Ltt; iui nui ijr-iivc ecus. Our product hat won highest awards and gold medals at two international exposi tions, placing it in the front rank with the leading beers in the world. STORZ TRIUMPH BEER represents our crowning achieve ment. We hare brought this brew to the highest point ot perfection. i iilll BREWED sf&Zfr Brewing Gort onArL 'PViono Webster I860. rUUlXV Automatlo iaSl. SALE A. HOSPE CO., Omaha 1513 Douglas Street question of owning a home. Nearly St.V.M GKMV Nan I saw poor dear 1il tiarlinehnrn's young man the other day. H looks as If she had picked htm up at a bargain counter Fan Yes. and she got only a remnant, ai that. Chicago Tribune. "Father, I want some money ,'' "Tou're always wanting money. What for?" "I need a couple of new bows tor mv violin." "Oh, fiddlestick?!" Baltimore American. Stella The word Is that hips must go. Bella Dear me, I've already parted from my appendix and given my han.l nwav. New York Sun. The Sauce Pan I wonder what mak I e kettle so happy? It hasn't stopped singing all day. The Coffee Pot Why, didn't you notk. Its new lid? Puck. "Do you expect to make people believe all you say in your speeches?" "Of course not." ausweretl Senator Sor ghum. "An auditor never wants to be en lightened by any new facts. What lie wants to hear Is something, he already believed, so that he can say 'Them's my senti ments!' " Washington Star. After a sojourn of two or three da s in the country the professor had returned home and was cleaning up his badly Uttered lawn. "heaves of absence!" he commented raklBhly. Chicago Tribune. Till-; BASK UAl.l, ni:rORTER. Edward B. Lyfttai In New York Sun. I" know they say Biil Shakespeare was a bird At handing out the language rich and fine And spieling off the stuff In plays and things That set you up like drinking tony wine; But when It comes to really truly zip That thrills your fcolar plexus till you're lame. Why. Biillam ian't In 1t for the. fraction of a minute ' AVIth the man who dopes the story of the game. C. Dickens, too. could sling, the English some; His moving picture scenes of life are great, And when it comes tn pulling laugh or tear He put it always rlghi aoross the plate: But when you talk of, stuff that's got Ihe zip And thrills your solar plexus 'till you're lame, Why, Dickens Isn't In it for the fraction of k minute . With the man who dopes the story of the .i -.-? fcsL..?.; v.,K.ivr f'-.rV( Our Emerson' Was something with the quill; Subsisting on the brainy Boston beans His thlnkery produced some mighty thought Though few can tell exactly what It means; But when you brag of stuff that's got the zip And thrills your solar plexus 'till your lame. Ralph Waldo Isn't in It for the fraction of a minute With the man who dopes the story of the game. Old Chaucer. Milton, Pope and Mnlllere. Old Sophocles and Edgar Allan Poe Could score a run 'most any time they tried- Thouirh they would surely starve along Park row; But when it comes to reallv truly sin That thrills your solar rlexus 'till you'ro lame. These spielers are not In il for the fraction of a minute With the man who dopes the story of h game. BOTTLED' BY N CSV I : II t; r . II I M ; PI pi