Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, September 06, 1908, EDITORIAL SECTION, Page 4, Image 12
B THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE: SEPTEMBER G, 1008. Tim Omaiia Sunday Bee TFIIM9 OF FrTWIMPTION: Imfly Bee wlihit Pjndey). cn yi-nr. lt') Dally lieo ami Sunday, one yiir 6.00 PEIJVEREU HT CARHIKH: Pally Pee (Ini-liii'im Kunlay), per wek..1S; Iially Me (wlUmit Sur.riavt. P"r week...!'. Evsulrg Pf ( t'.iont Kiinitiyi. ptr week nc Evening lire (with Sunday), per week. ..IV Pun'ldy IV-e, one yea rsturclay Her, one year Addrrcs all complaints of lri'tfruiarlti'S In oelivery to City Circulation Lejnrtmor.t. OFFICK8: Omaha The Bee Building. fcoulh Omaha-Cttv Mall Building. Council Bluffs 16 Scott Ftreet. Chicago li4R Marquette Building. New York-Rooms HOl-H'tf, No. 31 Wlt Thirty-third Ftre.rt. Washington-TS Fourteenth Street. N. . CORRESPONDENCK. Communication relating to new and fdltnrlaJ matter shou'.d be addressed: Omaha Bee, Fdltorlal Department. REMITTANCES. Remit by drft, express r.r poatal order payable to The Bee 'ubllshlng Company. Onlv 2-rent stamps received In payment of mall accounts. Personl checks, except rn Omaha or eastern exchanges, not accepted. STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION. Ptate of Nebraka, Douglas County, S.: Qeorgn B. Tzschuck, treasurer of The Bee Publishing company, being duly sworn. ays that the actual number of full and complete copies of The Dally, Morning, Evening and Sunday Bee printed during the month of August, 1908. was as follow 1 36,130 17 36,460 IS 36,110 19 36,070 20 88,990 21 88,880 21 36,070 23 38,400 24 86,980 25 38,940 2 .16,140 27 36,010 28 36,620 2 36,460 30 39,500 81 86,120 1 36,930 8060 4 3S.M0 ( 88,790 85,T0 1 35.S00 t 38,470 t 35,70 10 36,630 Jl 36,410 1J 36,010 It 35.980 14 36,070 IB 36,870 IS 38,600 Totals . . . 1,117,000 Leas unsold and returned copies. 11,846 Net total 1.106,484 Dally average 38,669 QISORQE B. TZSCHUCK, Treasurer. Subscribed In my presence and sworn to before me thla 1st day of (Soptember, 1J0. (Seal.) ROBERT HUNTKit. Notary PubllQ. WHEN OUT OF TOWN. Subscribers leaving- the city tem porarily should hnve The Bee mailed to them. Address will bo changed aa often aa requested. Remember where you left the storm door? "What becomes of all the pins?" asks an exchange. They get stuck. It Is pleasing to not that every thing Is now Pacific at Atlantic City. ' A law guaranteeing the percentages of the base ball teams would also help. "What Is American humor?" asks the New York Times. Well, most of It is Irish. The democrats are up to their old trick of predicting a landslide while expecting a snowslide. "How old Is Adlal Stevenson?" asks a reader. Don't know exactly, but he Is old enouKh to know better. Mr. Bryan should offer an amend ment providing for the guaranty of money deposited In Pullman berths. Back to names once more, Mr. Trot- ter. a candidate for the legislative nomination In Missouri, won In a walk. If Castro must be spanked there should be no objection to the job being done by the nation that wears wooden shoes. The New York Wwld has come out as a democratic organ, but still admits that it docs not know just what a dem ocrat la. If Mr. Bryan could have his way doubtless he would assign Mr. Parker to do all his speech-making in Penn sylvania. The nursery vote will be for Mr. Bryan If he will devise some Bcheme for guaranteeing the deposits in the babies' banks. "The negroes will all vow for Bryan," says Colonel Watterson, who loses none of his capacity for being tunny as the years pass on. If Mr. Gompcrs had an idea that he could control the votea of the laboring men of the country he would ue run ning for president himself. "Marry a bright woman for success and a pretty one for happiness," says an exchange. Just try it and see how quickly you'll bo arrested for bigamy. The manner In which it is support ing a candidate it thoroughly dislikes ought to entitle the New York World to one of Mr. Carnegie's hero medals. That Pullmau porttr who returned Mr. Bryan's wallet containing $500 will doubtless have his name printed in the list of donors to the campaign fund. The Chicago & Alton has ordered 1,000 steel cars and the Commoner de nounces It as "a desperate campaign trick." Returning prosperity will find no "Welcome" mat at the door of the Commoner. "Why is it," asks Mr. Bryan, "that the republican party is so much more extravagant than the democratic party in the expenditure cf public money?" Chances are it is because the demo crats do not have a chance to spend public money. A number of New Yorl: girls have agreed never to marry men who do not shave every morning and put en clean shirts before breakfast. Those glrl are perhaps unwittingly aiding the president in his schema to keep the loys aa the fam OMAHA' WOOL MAHKtT. Early in October a committee ap pointed by the National Wool Grow ers' association at Its recent convention will visit Omaha for the purpose of as certaining what this city has to offer and what the business men of Omaha are prepared to do to induce the asso ciation to make Omaha the central point for the storage and sale of west ern wool. The purpose of tho growers Is to find a central point at which the wool clip may be stored and held, for a favorable market, Instead of being sold, as at present, at prices deter mined upon by eastern buyers. St. Joseph, Minneapolis, St. Paul, Chi cago, Denver and St. Louis are also seeking the location of the warehouse.' The Commercial club and the bank ers of Omaha have already made their showing to the wool growers, assuring financial and business support equal to that offered by any other city. .With that Important question settled, there remains the point of desirability of lo cation, to best accommodate the wool growers of the great western section of the country. Omaha offers advan tages that cannot be equaled by any other western city. The question is almost entirely one of railroad facili ties and accessibility. That essential eliminates St. Louis, Salt Lake, St. Joseph, Denver, Minneapolis and St. Paul without argument. Shipment to either of those cities would be the di verting of the wool from the regular route to the markets in the mill dis tricts of the Atlantic coast and would entail an Increase In freight rates that would more than offset any advance In price that might accrue from storage at a convenient point. This objection cannot be urged against Omaha. The city is practically the center of the wool-prodnclng section of the we?t and its splendid railroad facilities makes It a natural storage and rebhipnlne point. The force of this geographical advantage is well illustrated by statis tics, taken from the report of tho fed eral Department of Agriculture. On January 1, 1908, there were 54,631,000 sheep on the American farms, of which 31,800,000 In round numbers were located west of the Mis sissippi river, not counting the Texas and Oklahoma holdings. The bulk of the other sheep were found in New York, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan, Wisconsin ana the New England states, and do not figure at all in the plans for the western warehouse. The wool clip from far more than half of the sheep of the nation comes from states that have direct and prompt railway connections with the Omaha market. The states of Wyoming, Montana, Col orado, Utah, Idaho, Oregon, Washing ton, California aad Nevada alone have 28,000,000 sheep, or more than half th nation's supply, and every railroad operating in those states has direct connection and traffic arrangements with Omaha. The total wool clip of 1907 was 428,000,000 pounds, of which 238,000,000, ormore thanlialf, came from the nine states above named 8,8 directly tributary to Omaha. a wool storage warenouse with a large capacity has already been estab lished in Omaha and those interested In the development of the market stand prepared to furnish guaranty that warehouse facilities will be sup plied in this city for every pound of wool produced in the great west coun try. Omaha is the natural and logical place for the location of the proposed warehouse by the National Wool Grow ers' association, as even casual investi gation should convince the committee charged with the duty of selecting the location. TVK PRlFFSSIdX OF ITSA' ESS. The student class, the general pub lic and the educators of the nation will find a peculiar special interest in the opening at Harvard university on Oc tober 1 of the new "Graduate School of Business Administration," the an nounced purpose of which is "to estab lish business training on a professional ba-Ms." Of the need of such an institution there can be no question, the only proposition being of its general effect upon the course of study l6ng recog nized as the essential feature of col legiate educntlon. The Harvard au thorities apparently understand and appreciate the complications that will result from this new departure, and they announce that the school does not seek to decry or supplant the fa rious "business colleges" that have sprung up throughout the country in response to tho demand for helpers in the various commercial and indus trial enterprises. They take the posi tion that there is a constant and grow ing demand for the highest type of business man, educated in the broad est principles of commerce and Indus try, and state that it is the purpose of this new courso of study to supply this demand, without Infringing upon the work of the ordinary commercial colleges. This action by Harvard is a formal recognition of business training as worth fully as much as the rigidly academic in the life of the day. It promises to break dawn tho barrier that has too long existed between American colleges ar.d the chiif pur suits of Americans. Daily evidence Is being furnished of the nation's de mand for trained business men. Con centration and specialization have little time or patience to await the slow working of the Individual toward efficiency in industrial management. The demand Is for men educated in the broad principles of business and industry, an education that ia hardly attempted in the commercial colleges, and It la this demand the new course of study is designed to meet. The new course of study Includes teaching of the fundamental principles of transportation, banking, promotion, organisation, finance, public adminis tration, consular service, accounting and Insurance and other lesser fea tures of commercial and industrial activity. There are no courses in stenography, bookkeeping, telegraphy, salesmanship or any of the studies that are usually taught In business colleges. The plan of the university authorities is to equip its graduates with a deeper knowledge of commercial and Indus trial laws. In order to graduate men capable of quickly Joining their en ergies with other men who have been turned out of business colleges or out Of the school of experience Into the commercial and industrial activities of the nation. . While time will be required to test the value of the Harvard experiment, the outlook Is promising, in view of the demand for men of high mental attainment for leadership in American industrial and commercial. life. VICTIMS OF PEJCF. Again the . doctors of the country have spread before the world the roll of victims of the insane notion that patriotism la best shown by explosion of gunpowder. On the last Fourth of July 108 lives were offered on the altar of "celebration," 104 neraiiia lost either one or both eyes and 5 460 j others were Injured in some decree. This Is an appalling list, and more than justifies the inquiry as to whether the exuberance of American spirits on the country's birthday can not find a less dangerous but equally satisfactory outlet. "Every one of these unfortunates," says tho Journal of the American Mc.l- Ical Association, which has gathered the statistics, "represents an absolutely unnecessary and wanton sacrifice to a senseless and barbaric sacrifice of what constitutes a 'good time,' and is an additional evidence of tho cheapness cf human life in the United States. Furthermore, the greater part of these casualties represent actual violation of the law, for there are few towns or cit ies which have not statutes forbidding the useW revolvers and cannon crack ers, at least, in Fourth of July celebra tions. But, no matter how .nuch agi tation there may be, or how much legis lation the 'city fathers' may provide, the 'spirit Of independence' continues to manifest itself by violating every law of public safety or common sense, and patriotism Is attested by loss of lives, fingers, eyes and cuticle. All this ab surd personal and civic mutilation is, after all, but one of the many manifes tations of the disregard for life and property with which our country con tinually shocks and amazes the rest of the world." No account is here taken of the loss to the community In the way of po tential wealth as the result of the killing and maiming of these victims. This item should be enlarged to the sum totaled for actual destruction of property and the expense of maintain ing the crippled survlviors of the an nual Inferno of "independence," and the cost In wealth will be apparent. While efforts are being bent to save life and property in other directions, this field would seem to invite atten tion. Let us have a safe and sane Fourth of July. lMPRUVtNO THE UAKK1SO LAWS. Congress has been exceedingly re luctant in the past to make any changes in the national banking act, but the discussion that has been in progress for a year or more on dif ferent phases of the currency and financial questions appears to have aroused an interest which will force early action looking to certain amend ments of the existing law. The Na tional City bank of New York has re cently addressed a circular letter to bankers throughout the country and to members of congress, suggesting cer tain amendments that In the main ap pear admirable. These recommenda tions are the result of careful study and exchange of opinions by some of the leading bankers and financial ex perts of the nation. The first suggestion Is that officers and directors of banks be required to make a showing of their liabilities to their, own Institutions. There should be no room for a difference of opinion on that proposition. Too many banks have already been wrecked by the lend ing of money to the officers and di rectors of the Institutions. This in formation should be made public and such loans should bo made only with great, care and with the approval of the full board of directors of the in stitution. The second recommendation is for an amendment prohibiting outside cor porations from owning stock in a na tional bank. The present la'w forbids banks from owning stock in other cor porations, but there is nothing to pre vent outside corporations from getting control of national bank 6tocks. In the recent financial trouble in New York it was shown that certain trust com panies and other corporations had se cured control of a chain of hanks and used them for the exploitation of in dustrial combinations that dealt heavily in watered stock and were forced to the wall In the depression that came on in October. The bank should bo limited to a banking busi ness and its ownership should not be allowed to get into control of other interests. These are the chief recommenda tions, but there are several others of more or less importance. One pro vides for a strict limitation of the amount that may be loaned by a bank to a single borrower. The present law limits this amount to JO per cent of the bank's capital stock, but the law has been ignored in many cases with disastrous results. The National City bank suggests that this be axneuded to limit euch loans to a certain per cent of the total loans of tho bank, the object being to place a limit upon dis counts of commercial paper emanating from a single source or from sources which are closely related. In addition to th'.e suggestions, it Is recommended that duplicate reports be made to tho comptroller of the cur rency, thus preventing the doctoring of bank books for the purpose of deceiv ing bank examiners. The national banking system Is already strong, but It would seem that It would be fur ther strengthened by the adoption of the changes suggested. JAPAKFSE KFTttMrilMEST The Japanese authorities reached a sensible conclusion when they decided t) postpone until 1917 tho exposition 'originally planned to be held nt Toklo 111 liril. 1 lie U V "Tl II 111 11 v nua uviuuu that the $5,000,000 set aside by the Diet woulj not be sufficient to make the exposition fine enough to show that Japan ia entitled to a place among the first-class powers no less for . its achievements in the fields of Industry, !rt nd commerce than for its exploits ,u war- In addltlon to financial rea- Bull is lil3 iMiluci itti:i nun nip njruDr tion business has been overdone of UU It will Itqunc nmc niuo whet the public appetite for another serving of that kind of entertainment. More significant, as indicating the re storation of reason in Japu.i, is the government's decision to reduce the budget proposed to the Diet by some thing more than $100,000,000, the sav ing to be made by scaling down the appropriations for the army and navy. This is a recognition of the fact that It ccsts monety to be a world power, and of the further fact that the people of Japan are already tax-burdened almost to the limit by the terrible drain of the military and naval expenditures caused by tho wars with China and Russia. Glory gained In those con quests threatened for a time to cause the Japanese to plan further wars of aggression, but it appears that better judgment has prevailed and the gov ernment is to adopt a policy of peace ful development of its home business and allow lta people time to recoup and recover from the effect of their dearly-bought national greatness. The new policy will do much to strengthen Japan's credit and standing with the financial powers of the world. A FLAW IX TUB ARMOR. In a current discussion of the abuses of injunctions, President Gompers of the American Federation of Labor makes this assertion: The Injunctions against which we pro test are flagrantly and without warrant of law Issued almost dally in some sectlor. of our country. While grossly exaggerated, this state ment discloses the flaw In the demo cratic armor on the injunction busi ness. If there have been injunction abuses, and no one denies that there has not been some abuse, they are not to be charged up against the republi can party, but have been manifested in all parts of the country. The demo crats are trying to gain political pres tige out of their double reading In junction plank, but they cannot point to a single honest effort on their part to stop injunction abuses. The writ of injunction has been is sued in labor disputes, not by federal judges alone, but by state judges as well. The power to correct abuseB in the state courts is vested exclusively with state officers and lawmakers. There are states which are distinctively democratic states, where the legisla tion Is properly chargeable to the dem ocratic party and where the execution of the laws through the courts is like wise in the hands of democratic judges. In what states, if any, has legislation been enacted to regulate the Issue of injunctlnono by the judiciary? The only states which disclose to careful examination positive action In this direction are the states of Cal ifornia and New York, both of them republican states acting through re publican legislatures. Not a single state in the south, where the demo cratic party has everything Its own way, has made a move to curtail or limit the injunction power of the state courts. In a word, the democrats have nothing whatever to show as a testi monial of good faith on restricting in junction abuses, although they have had ample opportunity for practicing as well as for preaching. If the democrats were on the square in their professed horror of "govern ment by injunction," they would have done something long ago to stop it in democratic states, where, as Mr. Gompers says, injunctions "are fla grantly and without warrant of law Issued almost dally." TIM HER 4S A CRCP. The experience of New York iu deal lng with large areas in the Adirondacks that have been denuded of their forest growth Is commended to the people of Nebraska, it deserves attention from the legislature. The operatloiiF of the Forestry department of the state gov eminent of Now York include the germination of seeds of the white pine, and the care of the sprouts until finally tranFplanted to the wild land, where they Rre left to nature. Last year about 1,000,000 seedlings were trans planted. Many young evergreens have been sold from the state nurseries to farmers, who are rearing them as pri vate ventures. It iB not expected that the present generation will derive much profit from the state forosts, bat the succeeding generation will, for by that time the trees will have attained such growth aa will provide 60,000 to 70,000 feet of white pine lumber per acre. The process of planting is carried on in such way as will practically iusure a ataady supply of lumber for all lime, once the cutting in the etate forests is begun. - Experiments carried on by the United States government and by pri vate Investigators have clearly estab lished the adaptability of certain varie ties of pine to the Nebraska climate. It has been shown that the "jack" or "bull" pine makes rapid and sturdy growth in this region, especially In the "sand hill" section. At its last session the legislature was asked to make an appropriation for instituting a comprehensive plan of state forestra- tion. Nothing came of it, but the men who are interested In the project will present the matter again at the com ing session, and will probably be ac corded a more attentive hearing. In vestigation as to the merits of the plan should be had at least. Its desirability cannot be questioned. Nebraskans have well earned the title of "Tree Planters," and if tho growth of pin or some similar useful timber can be added to the state's list of paying crops, the name will be still more de served. Mr. Bryan thinks mucfh more of John A. Johnson, candidate for gov ernor of Minnesota, than h did of John A. Johnson, candidate for the democratic presidential nomination. An Oklahoma doctor who chopped the head from an intoxicated friend was fined $100. The folks in the new state are mighty careful about protect ing human life. A Deficit Explained. Washington Post. The fa.lllng off In the number of stu dents entering the medical colleges may be due to the Increasing demand for good base ball players. An Appealing; t nmpalan fry, Washington Herald. . ' There Is something about this "guaran teeing of bank deposits" business that a.p peals to us. We should certainly like to be guaranteed a deposit every morning. Runnlnar Ahead of the Game, St. Louis Times. A discovered shortage of 800,000 in the Havana postofflce would seem to Indi cate that the Cubans are not slow to fol low up Yankee initiative In predatory en terprise. Overproduction of l.mvr. Brooklyn Eagle. Far more than we need new laws we need to obey the laws we have. We need a great revival of obedience to and respect for law, and that fe?llng Is not encouraged by en acting so many statutes that even lawyers no longer pretend to know the law until they look it up. Right Stuff for Hot Conntry. New York World. In Inviting Captain "Bill" McDonald to go with him on a hunting trip In Africa, President Roosevelt probably remembers that the old Texas ranger Is the man who was said to be brave enough "to charge hell with a bucket of water." Africa Is a hot country. "Live Wire" In the Campaign. Kansas City Star. Some surprise Is expressed because Mr. Taft has shown himself to be a real "live wire" as a campaigner. But a man who has been a "live wire" In great national affairs, who has never undertaken anything that he has not made a success, might have been counted on to rise to the demands of a hard campaign. SJnperflnoaa Scribblers. New York World. "Away with all this superfluous scrib ble." wrote the crown prince of Germany on a bundle of government reports sub mitted by the minister of the Interior. This Idea If enforced In the United States would be equivalent to saying, "Off with their heads" to a lot of government em ployes, and a good part of the business of government as practiced1 Is to provide patronage for the politicians. MAYOR JIM OP OMAIIA. Chicago Examiner: Mayor Dahlman of Omaha was defeated at the primaries for the nomination for governor of Nebraska. His failure seriously embarrasses Bryan In his home state, as a party split now is probable. Philadelphia Press: Mayor Jim Dahlman of Omaha Is sending abroad a scare that tho railroailB of Nebraska are preparing to sell out Bryan in his own state. It Is par ticularly dreadful In view of the fact that Bryan In ready to buy out the railroads and have the government operate them. Kan.ias City Times: The result of the democratic primaries In Nebraska Is mor significant than the result of the election In Vermont. The latter merely Indicates that there is little or no change In Ver mont since the last presidential year. If it has an indication at all as to national politics. In Nebraska the nominees for governor Is not the man who was supposed to have advantage because of his close relations with Mr. Bryan, but one who has not enjoyed any such political intimacy with the presidential nominee. For some time reports have been coming from Ne braska that while the state was proud pf the distinction accruing from the third nomination of Mr. Bryan, and although republicans as well as democrats partici pated In the celebration, Mr. Bryan was not winning republican votes. The defeat of Mayor Dahlman In Tuesday's primaries Is not calculated to add to Mr. Bryan's prestige. A REriLIVB IMtOPOSlTIO.1. Scheme to Make Ilaaka Stand or Fall Together. Chicago News. A plr.n for raising an Insurance fund by assessment of a definite amount upon the banks, the resources of the depositors to be limited to the amount of the fund, Just as the Inker by fire is limited In his ability to itjcovcr by the flnanclul responsibility of the Insurance company, might be debatable. Kut the Idea that all the men engaged In a particular line of business shall bo re quired by law practically to pool their for tents and stand or fall together cannot be otherwise than repulsive to the business sense of the American people when the na ture of the proposition is understood. It is said that the success of the Okla homa law Is already demonstrated, that deposits are Increasing hi cause offhe guar anty and that banks in adjoining states where the guaranty dues not prevail are losing their business. The benefits of a law of this nature are most obvious at the ot:tset; the actual disadvantages manifest themselves only after a considerable time. No plan of thla kind can be amid to have ben tested until It has stood the strain of a financial crisis. The guaranty fund law of New York state, paaaed ia 1829, did not disclose Its defects until years later, when banks In the system began to go down, mainly because of the financial alas sf their renponslbl nmcagura. It wonld be absurd to insure prop erty to the extent of less than one year's income, yet the average wage earner is insured for 14 less than one year 's rages. Are you above the aver age T THE EQUITABLE LIFE ASSURANCE SOCIETT Strongest In the World. FI. D. Ncely, M anoger ' Omaha, Nab. SERMONS ROILED DOWN. Hidden sins grow fastest. Condemnation cures nothing. Revenge never Is so sweet as when fore gone. The critical eye remains longest In Ig norance. No man is undone as long as he has a work to do. He Is lost already to whom sacrlflco ap pears aa folly. You can not bless men until you be lieve In them. The doors to heaven are often In earth's lowlieert places. Spiritually the most helpless are those who refuse to help. Keep the heart healthy and happiness will take care of Itself. Life barriers that resist all force crumble before friendship. I f Men are to be known by their alms rather than by their origins. Sometimes fleeing from the devil Is only a pretext for fleeing from duty. The weariest man In this world Is the one who Is running from work. The man who has grit In his makeup will not throw It In his neighbor's face. The enemy soon would be on the run If saints were not so strong on the rest. Chicago Tribune. PERSONAL AND OTHERWISE. The noiseless guns mentioned in the dis patches are not in demand as campaign guns. That wearied look borne by returning vacationists applauds their sense In com ing home to rest. Should Holland decide on the need, the old Dutch cleanser can be relied on to raise the dust In Venezuela. Shrewd and wise as he looked to "the Street," the executors of the estate of Russell Sage found $1,071,000 worth of "gold bricks" In his pile of securities. Centenarians who boast of their years and youtiifulness cannot hope to dispel doubt while refusing to grace breakfast food "ads" with their pictures. Affinity Earle has been released from Jail at Goehen. N. Y., and Mrs. Affinity has returned to his home for a few more touches of the artistic temperament. The elect of the empire will degenerate under the new constitution of Turkey In November. About the same time Ameri cans will deliberate over the constitution of Turkey. AMah be praised. Despite the ideals and ethics promulgated by the American bar association, a New York lawyer wants tSO.OOO for keeping a man out of a lunatic asylum. The rule of charging "what the traffic will bear" Is not aa dead as reported. , In a dispute between a man and his wife aa to which was "boss" of the house, the man collided with a curved pitcher de livered by the southpaw of the madame, and retired from the contest In an ambu lance. Some fool men Insist on being shown. An Oregon bride believes in the union of sense and sentiment. Before proceeding with the marriage ceremony she Insisted on tho Interested parents forking over $1,600 for a home and 1300 for the trim mings. Did she get it? Do women fail In a hold-up? John D. Rockefeller did not attend the Dener meeting of the American Press Humorists' association, of which he is an honorary member. There Is such a fund of appealing humor In the Urosscup joke that to seek new mirth might dull the keen edge of his appreciation. A Pennsylvania man, Jilted by his sweet heart, hasn't spoken for thirty years. If candidates who will be handad the cold mitten in November should emulate the Pennsylavanlan, the antl-nolse crusaders would be forced out of buslnt as. And what a solemn young world this would be. A Missouri millionaire mixed up In a soul-mate muss imagined he might sway, the judgment of the court by spoiling the faces of the opposing witnesses and the lawyers. His followers did the Job han dily, but the millionaire acquired nine suits Instead vt one. By the time he gets through litigating his pile will look as feeble as a democratic landslide In Vermont. Pianos Selling Fast! BUY NOW WHILE OPPORTUNITY CALLS The A. Hospe Co.'s Greatest Piano Sale VOU MUST SKE THESE BARGAINS QUALITY WE ARE GIVING FOR LITTLE JUST LOOK EMERSON Beautiful double veneered mahogany upright (irand, in hplendtd condition. Pay S7.00 monthly (agents sell for $1 50) 1VERS & .POND Kllghtly alnut case, 00). Pay SCHONINGER Upright Orand of good action and tone, walnut case, a great bargain. $8 00 monthly CRAMER Beautiful Upright Orand of .re- design, in oak cane, In the best of condition (a little used). Pay 15.00 monthly The question Is not, whether you ran afford to he without a HERE ARE THREE OF THE SPECIAL BARGAINS IN NEW PIANOS: $350.00 new Sample Piano, mahogany case, only '8189.00 $400.00 new Sample Piano, walnut Mse, only. S22-!00 $375,00 new Sample Piano, oak case, only, .Ulo!oO $10 Sends a Piano Home SiO We have the most magnificent aerartion of Planoa In the country. We bare the lowest price in the United Statea. We are factory distributers for Kranlch & Bach, Kraktuer, Kimball, Hallet ft Davla. Bush & Lame, Melville Clark, Cable-Nelson, Wesen Broa, Burton, Kensington, Crancer, Etc Sold on easy payments from $5.00 and up. If yon cannot call, write or phone. A. Hospe Co., 1513 Donahs St WE IX EXP KUT PIANO THKlKhu ajsii ituunuiui. . . SECULAR SHOTS AT THE PI'LPIT Louisville Courier Journal: A minister says he la going to drive the devil .out of Arisona. Why not try the plan of refusing to let his satanlc majesty have an Iced drink or an electrlo fan? St. Louis Republic: At the end of the third season and after due Inspection and mature reflection the Freo Methodists of Wisconsin have put the ban on the reek aboo waist. The Free Methodists are never hasty and always discreet. Washington Herald: Omaha hat a "mar rying parson" who has collected fin.roO for officiating at l.SCS wedding ceremonies. By this time the lawyers have probably col lected more than that from the couples who have since repented at leisure. Kansas City Star: On last Sunday In all of the Methodist churches In Nebraska a letter wan read from tho pulpits denounc ing Speaker Cannon for his hostile attitude toward temperance legislation. Let us hi pe that the benefit accruing to Mr. Cannon from this appeal will be Just as negative as If the Methodists had attacked the speaker at a more vulnerable' point. DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES. "You say this man stole your coat?" aid the magistrate, "do I understand that vou prefer cimrcrs against him?" "Well, no, your Honor," replied the plain tiff. M prefer the coat If It s all the same to you, Blr." Philadelphia Tress. Lover (liughtily)-Ia It mntt-r of aston ishment, Fir. that I should want to marry your daughter? Father (apologetically) Not at' all, young man. 1 wanted to mnrry her mother ence. The astonishment at the Idea comes later. Baltimore American. "I done heard It recited, " snld fncle Eben, "dat Truth crushed to earth will rise again. Dat may he so, but sometimes Truth don' git his feet In time to keep the referee film handln' out de decision agin "Im." Washington Star. Mr. Phusser Cynthia, I have Joined a Don't Wr.rry club. Mrs. Thusser I am sorry for the club. It will hnve to change Its name. Chicago Tribune. "In olden days pots sang to the moon." said the bard with the unscissored locks. "H'm!" muttered the pretty girl, without a smile. "No wonder the moon is dead." Chicago News. Husband My dear, you've got the social bee In your bonnet. Wife T haven't any such thing! Small Boy Ma's right, pop. It's a wasp! Baltimore American. Miss Bridge Fiend O. Mr. Frost, I'm afraid you've been playing cards f ir money. Mr. Frost How do you know? Miss Bridge Fiend Your game has Im proved so. Brooklyn Life. Mr. Henpeck My dear, please don't call me "Leo" any more. Mrs. Henpeck What foolishness are you thinking about now? Why shouldn't I call you "I.en?" That's your name. Mr. Henperk I know, but It makes my friends laugh when you call me that; I was thinking you might call me "Job" Just for a pet name. Philadelphia Press. INGRATITUDE. San Francisco Argonaut. . She sketched and painted up and down the river. 1 rowed the boat Where willows dip and deepening shadows quiver, And lilies float. Cliff, cottage, sail and bridge and sea sands yellow Her studies were And, oh, I thought myself a lucky fellow, Adrift with her! I Lo lg hours, with oars at rest, I sat and wailed; She painted on. With now and then a smile absorbed, elated Till, daylight gone. She'd raise her eyes reluctantly and murmur. And I I'd only plant my feet the firmer. And start to row. , Last night we met. Of art, she prattled sweetly Of what she'd done In way of summer work, accomplished neatly. Of pratsea won; But, when I shyly dared my part to mention As oarsman true, She vaguely smiled and said, . Ith inat tention "Oh, was itou?" 3 WHAT SPLENl)Il7 3 MONEY. I TO REALIZE AT THESE: $215 $198 $143 $167 used Upright Grand, In ikc.ki ny agents ror $8 00 monthly afford a Piano, but whrtlier you rait Piano In your home. '