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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 5, 1908)
10 The Omaiia Daily Be, FOUNDED BT EDWARD ROSKWATKR. VlCTOIl nOBKWATER. EDITOR. Entered at Omaha jxstofflce second -elass matter. TERMS Of PfB9CRlPTIO,: Dally Fee (without Bundey). en ymr.-IJ." Dolly Mee and Bundsy. one year DELIVERED RT CARRIER: Dally Hp (ItKluflins; Sunday), rr wk.-19 tally Bee (without Bundayi. ft week...lo Enlnt Bee (without Sunday), per week te Kvenlns hee (with Sunday), per weok...lrc Sunday Bee. one year Saturday Brr, one year ;. Addresa all roinplalnta of IrrrgulsrrU-s Ih delivery to City Circulation Kerartmer.t. OrriCKS: Omaha-The IVe Building houth Omaha City Hall HuildlnB. Council Bluffa U Scott Etreet. , ChU-aftola'a Marquette Building. New York-Room 1101-1UC. So. It West Thirty-third ftrt. ' . Washlngtcn-72 Fourteenth Btraet, N. :vt CORRESPONDENCE Communications relating to new and tdlinrlal matter ahou'd be addressod: Omaha Bee. Editorial Department. REMITTANCES. nmit by draft, expreea or postai order payable to The Re I ubllshlng Company. Onlv 2-cent tamj received in payment of mall account. Personal cluck, extort rn umaha or eastern exchanges, not accepted. STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION. Stat ot Nebraska, Douglaa County, as.: Oeort" B. Tisehuck, treasurer of The Bee Publishing company, being duly awfli'it. ays that the actual number of fuil nnrt complete copies of The Dally. Horning, Evening and Sunday Bee printed during th month of Auguat. 10I, wm as follows: 1.. 36,130 i.,..' se,3o 3.. as.eeo 4... JS.S40 .. 35.T90 e ss,tso T 85,900 .'. 38,470 .. 35,70 10 36.S3S . 11 8841S 1! 34,010 13 38,930 14 M.070 IS... 38.i70 i . : aa.eoo Totals l,caa unsold and returned copies. Net total 1,108,454 Daily average 38,389 OEOKUE B. TZ8CHUCK. Treasurer. Bubrcrlbed In my praaence and aworn to before me this 1st day of September, 1J08. (Seal.) ROBERT KTJNTF.ll, Notary Public 2 34,070 23 38,400 24 36,880 25 38,340 tt 16,140 J7 36,010 U 88,690 2 86,460 10 38,600 il 36,130 BRTAir CAMPAIGN X"M Colonel Bryan's appeal for impular subscriptions Is not producing satisfac tory results, and the surface Indica tions are that Norman Er Mack of Bnt falo, chairman ot the democratic na tional committee, ! responsible for the condition. Very soon after his ap pointment as committee chairman, Mr. Mack i gave - af least - -winking ap proval to the report that beiad a fund ot 1300,000 "left over fronthe Darker management of 1904." ; The report wag boomed for a. few days, evidently with the double purpose ot spurring the democratic workr into action and to leave the impression that the pluto crat had glten Parker- more money than Ma committee could spend in 1904. But there was' another side to It. Democrats oyer the country got anjdea that $300,000 was a lot of money, perhaps all that would be needed,- so they withheld their contri butions. Chairman Mack was culled to Lin coln and both he and Mr. Bryan made statements that the Parker manage ment had not left' $800,000 to the new committee. Neither denied that the committee had $300,000. They sim ply said they did not get $300,000 from the Parker committee. That will be readily believed when it is recalled that Tom Taggart was th head of the Parker committee, and Tom does not In IT ,. 36,460 II 36,110 II 36,070 .. . . ' IJIM il!!. ....... 88,860 overlook any $300,000 "sleepers" ,...1,117,000 11.846 XV HEM OCT OF TOWN. Subscribers leaving; th e-ltr tem- porarlly ahoald mailed ta tfcem. hava The Be Address will be Clerks for government and private con cerns are a drug on the market, while tie! crop of experts Is always short. The reckless automobile still with us. driver is So far as the schoolboy is concerned, Monday will be the longest day In the year. "Is wealth a handicap?" asks a Chi cago parson. Can't say. Never tried it! "The Scarcity of Skunks" is the title ot a recent magazine article. Any complaint? The democrats who favored free silver in 1896 ar trying to pass off gold bricks in 1908. . ' ; Dahlman lost one' vote at the primaries because Mr. Bryan was out of the state on election day. "All an orator needs la a voice," says Governor Cummins. Yes, and that's about all most of them have. Some of the base ball managers must doubt the truth of that old adage bout there being plenty of room at the top. Mr. Bryan might make a hit in the Rocky mountain states by proposing a federal guaranty of mining stock deposits. the game he plays. But Mack can not keep still about the campaign riches In his hands. In a formal Interview at New York, after his meeting with Bryan at Lincoln, Mack said: I am not worrying about finances, and there Is no OUtreas for money. The finance committee has supplied me with all the money that la necessary, and I, have or dered supplies and everything needful to run the campaign. Our funds come mostly in small Contributions from the masses of the people,- and we ar gathering much money In this way. The day for large con tributions, ao far as the democratic party Is concerned, Is fairly over. I am not afraid that the committee will not obtain all the money It needs to conduct a legiti mate campaign. Crediting Mr. Mack with proper re spect for the verities, an explanation is In order. "The finance committee," says he, "has supplied me with all the money that is necessary and I have or dered supplies and everything needful to run the campaign." Where did he get it? Mr. Bryan and his committee have placed much emphasis on their Intention to make full reports of the campaign contributions before election. The amount thus accounted for to date Is miserably small, compared with the $500,000 admitted as necessary to pay the-legltimate expenses of a great na tional campaign by etyher of the parties. . If Chairman Mack has all the money necessary to run- the campaign, will it net be the proper thing for Mr. Bryan to do to announce the fact and ask his friends to quit sending any more contributions, "from 30 cents up?" Th possession ot more money tlr&n in actually ' needed' is a strong temptation to corruption and there are even asm democrats who are not strong enough to resist temptation. This Is one of th questions Mr Bryan can not refuse to discuss, as It was mentioned in the Denver platform If Mr. Mack is speaking by the card, the democratic campaign fund must be a bumper crop this year. Mr. Mack practically admits that he did get $300,000 from some source, but does not offer any account of how that amount came into his possession. Where did you get it, Mr. Bryant RKCVRTt-RRKAKiyo LVMP.ER C UT AH of the government's efforts to preserve the forests of the nation and encourage the limitation of the lum ber cut appear to have been futile, ac cording to the census bureau statistics of th lumber cut for 1907. These returns show that the total cut ot 1907 was about 40,000,000,000 feet of lum ber,' as compared with $7,500,000,000 In 1906, until then the banner year. For the: year 1907 reports were re ceived from 28,860 mills, the depart ment concluding that these reports cover at least 9 3 per cent of the total lumber production for the year. While the general business depres sion had som effect on the lumber In dustry, the returns show an increase in the output of every lumber-producing section of the country. The south Increased its production of yellow pine lumber by 33 per cent over 1906, while the Increase In Oregon and Wash ington was considerable. The lake states showed a reduced production, due only 'to the fact : that the timber regions of that section have been prac tically denuded. . It is a striking fact that, although lumber prices have steadily advanced during the last half century, the per capita consumption of lumber has also Increased, illustrating what ha been found true the world over that with in dustrial progress the demand for wood becomes greater. The record of 1907 serves to further illustrate the wisdom ot the forestry policy of the republican party. It is estimated that the lumber supply of the nation will be exhausted within twenty-five years and, under such con ditions, no laws looking to the preserva tion of the forests can be made too strict or be too rigidly enforced. "Never bet on anything but a sure thing," says th Nashville American. Llk betting on Mr. Taft, for Instance. "What Is Mr. Bryan's real para mount issue?" asks a reader. Don't know. Alave not heard from Mr. Bryan tor sevoral hours. John Flanagan has established a new American record for throwing the hammer. Eugene V. Debs ought to Challenge Flanagan. "What shall we do with J. Ham Lewis?" asks a Chicago paper. J. Ham will not care much, so long as you do uot forget or ignore him. Will Mr. Carnegie please send one of his hero medals to the manufac turer who has placed a Carrie Nation !robe lnto the unti ot railways and DKMAKD FOR f XPERT PROBERS. An astonishing condition exists at Washington, where the Civil Service commission announces that it can not find men to fill government jobs paying trom $1,800 to $8,000 per year. An examination was to have been hell in early September for applicants for these positions, but so few applied that the commission has postponed the date for the examination to October 7 and 8 and has issued this bulletin: Owing to the commission's Inability to secure a sufficient number of competent applicants, qualified persona ar urged to apply for this examination. It is the old story over again. With thousands of men and women already on the eligible list of the Civil Service commission for appointments to post tlons in the various departments, there are no applicants in ltne when really trained experts ar In demand. The men wanted are to be appointed to 6-cent cigar on th market? "I am no boss, Just a servant," says Unci Joe Cannon. Householders would be happier if other servants stuck to their jobs like Mr. Cannon does. Prosperity is returning all right. Reports from New York state that Wall street brokers have resumed their old custom of inviting their customers out to lunch. Mayor Jim has suddenly become an object of solicitous attention on part of th Omaha double-ender. A little of this a few days ago might have helped the nayor, who needed i then. While corn throughout the country tuffered some loss in prospect during th month of August, th Nebraska :rop shows a gain. This is surely en turaging to the land ot Ak-Sar-Ben. A dispatch states that "ten Jons of Jd eggs ar being held la Detroit." The rest of th country will cheerfully tootrlbut any help necessary to en tble Detroit to keep on holding them. Many of the Bryanit Journals ar mmmendi&g their Peerless Leader to .he public because be U vouched for by David McLean Parry. This endorse ment ought to carry great weight with labor anions. other common carriers to see if they are complying with the bookkeeping system prescribed by the Interstate Commerce commission more than year ago, under the provisions of the amended interstate commerce act. Con gress has appropriated $800,000' to have the law carried into effect. Men to be appointed under this examination must have an expert knowledge of gen eral auditing, disbursements, freight, passenger and claims accounts in con nectlon.with steam roads and account Ing In connection with electric rail ways, express service, steamship serv ici and other common carrier service Difficulty will doubtless be expe(l enced in securing the number of men desired for this work. Their number Is extremely limited, and they are al ready employed in the offices of the common carrier companies at better salaries than are offered by th govern ment. Railroad accountants anj ex pert auditors are not to be bad for the asking, and fitting one's self for such work is a long, laborious and tedious process, Tflere is som danger that the Interstate Commerce commission may be compelled to send to probe the books ot the transportation companies experts who ar not as well qualified for the task as the men who are keep ing the books. Th case serves to em phasize the need of more, expert and thoroughly drilled men in classes of la dustrlal and commercial enterprises. ruprerne co'urt of that state has Just held that all nominations must be made by primary election, and In event of any party falling: to fill a place on the ticket toy this means such place will go by default. Blowly but surely the democrats learn their lessons, but their wisdom Is heavily freighted with sad experience. After a tour of th,e western states, Secretary Wilson says the great prob lem ot forestry today Is the replanting of watersheds to preserve the moun tain streams. This replanting would also reduce freshets and floods, which are caused by 'th robbing ot the tim ber that holds back the melting snows. Deb's reference to his riding in a Pullman recalls the time when he was putting forth most strenuous efforts to prevent anyone from riding In a Pullman.- And that was during a demo cratic administration, too, a fact that the worklngmen ought to remember. The Japanese government has elim inated $100,000,000 from the budget, most of it coming from the appropria tions proposed for the army and navy. This 'may quiet Hobson's fears and it will ;o far toward improving Japan's standing in the financial worldt Bryan's friendship for Mayor Jim seems to have been of the kind that was mighty strong while the Denver convention was on, but had another engagement while the mayor waB pur suing the democratic nomination for governor. Governor Johnson was elected in 1904 principally because he claimed to be a better Roosevelt man than the re publican candidate opposed to him. That will make it a little difficult for him to pose as a Bryan man this year. iF HE HAD ONLY KTVOWW. One of the really Interesting epl sodes of the Denver convention culmi nated In the adoption of a resolution pproved, if not actually formulated, by Mr. Bryan, paying tribute to the late Orover Cleveland, the only demo cratic president in nearly fifty years. Mr. Bryan had vlllifled and abused Mr. Cleveland when he was alive, had impugned his honesty and called him a bunco steerer," but quickly seized the opportunity to make political cap ital out .of the universal regret caused by his death. . As a lifelong friend and admirer of Mr. Cleveland, Judge Parker had drawn up commemorating resolutions, but as they praised just the points in which he differed from Mr, Bryan they brought down upon the Judge nothing but a shower of calumny and Insult. Although, later the offensive parts were voluntarily revised out of his eulogy he was not allowed to Drcsent his reso- . . . . . . . . t lution. out was forced to content nlmJ self with seconding the more platitu dinous production approved by Mr. Bryan, which, sheared of its "where ases," was as -follows: Resolved, That we, the delegates of the party In national convention assembled. recognise in hint one of the strongest and ablest characters known to the world's statemanahlp, who poasessed In an extraor dinary degree the elements of leadership, and by his able, conscientious and forceful administration of public affairs reflected honor upon his country and upon the party It now turns out that Mr. Cleveland before his death had Indited an article for publication praising Mr. Taft and commending his qualifications for the service required of a chief - executive and waiving, aside Mr. Bryan's claims for presidential preferment. Had Mr. Bryan only known ot this, would he have let the convention at Denver throw a bouquet, however fra grantleas, upon the grave of Orover Cleveland? Had he known this, would he have taken back by silence the villainous names he had called him in former days and held up to public admiration an oracle predicting democratic defeat so long as the. party accepted Mr. Bryan's leadership? If Mr. Bryan had only known of the existence of that Cleveland manuscript the record of the Denver convention would, doubtless, have been different. An umbrella thief has been sen tenced to fifteen days In Jail by a Penn sylvania magistrate. Democratic ora tors may find in this fact further proof that the people are being robbed of their Inalienable rights. Sir- William Ramsay, the eminent scientist, is working on a plan to turn sliver into gold. Sir William is behind the times. An eminent Nebraskan found out how to do that twelve years ago. jAn t ngratefal Kicker. Philadelphia Press. The republican policy can't be all bad; Bryan has got rich under It in the past twelve years. That's What Will Win. New York World. , In the matter of . guaranteed bank de posits a great many people would prefer a guarantee that they will have deposits. Charley la Not Worrying. Indianapolis News. The prospect of the evacuation of Cuba next 'spring may also raise the question f '.nfci . .J i .' or wnat we Bnu ao wim our ex-uovernor Msgoons. ' . The Situation Photographed. New York Tribune. Representative Longworth's remark that Taft Is running on his record and Bryan Is running away from his record is equally epigrammatic and accurate and well de serves to "stick," Debs outlined one thought that the worklngmen ought to thoroughly as similate. That Is, that nowhere in America is the general condition of the working class so deplorable as In the southern states, where the democratic party has been in undisputed sway from times before the war. Trades unions are almost unknown In that re glou, but peonage is common and the laws are so framed as to practically reduce workers to th conditions of slavery. This is not the outcome of "Injunction" measures, but the net re sult of democratic rule and the appli cation of the democratic doctrine of dealing between "classes." And Mr. Bryan is the candidate of the southern democracy and has in his public utter ances endorsed at least portions of their program for dealing with "in feriors," and the inference that he en dorses all is unavoidable. The New York Sun is wondering how much emergency currency will be needed, to be supplied through the Aldrlch-Vreeland currency law, to "move the crops." The Sun may cease worrying over that proposition. The west has the crops and has the money to move them, without waiting for the aid or consent ot any other section of th earth. South Dakota democrats undertook to show their contempt for the state wide primary law by nominating only a part of the candidates for state office J to be filled this fall, and undertook to fill th remaining places on th ticket by action of th state committee. Th Debs and Ills Preachments. Boston Transcript. Debs Is preaching socialism from the "red special" as providing work for every body all the time, but as he Is opposed to wages, his program looks too much like compulsory labor to be attractive to the unemployed. We suppose the money will Come from somewhere. Perhaps on the basis suggested by the English eallrist who defined a socialist a a man who was willing to divide equally jour shilling and his sixpence. Activities of Sawmills. Philadelphia Ledger. ' It will surprise most persons to lrarn that the lumber cut In the United States last year was the largest ever reported. The total la more than 40,000,000,000 ftet, about 7 per cent above the total of th previous year. The number of mills re porting is much larger, though whether this indicates greater activity or only bet. ter organisation in the census is debatable The lqcreaae is the more surprising in view of the known depression In thu busi ness In the latter part of the year. ' POLITICAL. DRIFT. The campaign cannot be regarded as fully on until Senator "Jeff Davis kicks oft tha oratorical lid. With an official tip handed to Hisgen and Graves, all candidates 'hava received their notifications. Even 'Oene Debs is onto his Job. Vermont is too close to Connecticut to give serious consideration to Colonel Bryan's claims aa a legatee of the Roose velt will. Governor Haskell of Oklahoma careV not who contributes to the campaign fund, so long as he is permitted to grind out the campaign aonga. An Indiana admirer of Mr. Bryan, una ware of hla proximity to Bait Creek, pro voked a melancholy smile by presenting the candidate with a pair of mahonany oars. A candidate on the primary ticket In Kan sas City spent 14 for buttermilk which he distributed among the thirsty. The extrav agant fellow doesn't understand why he was defeated. The temperature of the campaign in West Virginia la a shade above the buttonholing point. United Btatea Senator Scott . ex changed thirty-six blows with State Sena tor Smith and retired from the session with an old mission frlese around his left eye, There Is disappointment In Georgia that the democratic national committee deem It unwise for Mr. Bryan to make speeches In the south. In fact the Georgia democrats take It so hard that they will hava Clark Howell, when he attends the meeting of the committee in Chicago September 7, do all he can to procure a change of program. Tom Watson Is doing things in Georgia. Major - Alfred - J. Stofer of the Gridiron club of Washington, an ardent Bryan man from the hour Bryan turned up In Wash ington as a congressman, said tha other day that ha hadn't been particularly fortunate In Ms predictions In 1&4 and 19U0, but that this year be was to change hla methods. "This year," id the major, "I am going to elect Bryan. It will be done In this way: On tha 13th day of October I shall bet til that Taft will be elected. As I was never known to win an election bet I will of coura lens this one. and Bryan will gat thera." OTHER I. AND TMA Ol US. The first substantial advance toward the g al of protection in Ureat Britain Is ap parent by the new patent luw which went Into effect this month. In substance the law requires foreign manufacturers of patented articles td rst.iMlsh factories In the Vnltert Kingdom If they desire the protection of the patent law. Patents now held by foreigners Will be annulled In one two and three years, nnl are renewable only on the condition that a percentage' of the manufactured article equal to the amount marketed In the klngilom is made In Great Britain. A a result of this legis lation a great many manufacturers of patented articles have already started fac tories in the kingdom, and many others are preparing to follow the example. It Is esti mated that fully lltS.orif'.oro have been In vested, or Is arranged for. by foreigners on account of the law. Germany, America and France are most dirertlynffected. and ar likely to adopt a similar measure of retaliation. For the moment Great Britain rejoices In the Increased employment which the. new factories furnish. Economically considered, It marks the breach In the sacred walls of free tradi In a land In which that policy was eMcmcd a hallowed Institution. . Constitutional government Is making mighty strides In tha old world, and In localities whore least expected. When the autocracy of Ru-.sla yielded to the demands of the people for.the right of participating In the affairs of government, the bells of liberty sounded an awakening note In Asia as distinct as the reverberations of Japanese victories. Persia hastily followed Russia's example, nnd the attempt of the shah to nullify the proclaimed consti tution Is being resisted by force, of arms. Turkey revives the constitution of WT6. and will Inaugurate a two-chamber Parliament In November. The latest convert to con stltuttrnal government Is China. An edict Just Issued by the emperor sets forth the steps to be taken leading up to a consti tution, which the emperor promises will be granted to the people In nine years. China has made wonderful progress in the past ten year. The empire has been aroused from Its slumbers, In a somewhat rudo fnshlnn, and has shown surprising de termination to stand out without the as sistance of the nurses of Europe. Should the present rate of progress continue for another five years, the country will be fairly ripe for a constitution. These Im pressive factg sound a cheerful note of human progress toward liberty In the most backward nations of the world. A union of the green and the orange, foi centuries past a dream of poets and pat riots. Is approaching realisation Iri Ireland. Constant hammering on the decaying walla of religious prejudice are steadily break ing down the barriers reared by self-interest against home rule. Heretofore loyal Orangemen and loyal Catholics agreed on one proposition only and that was a fight or a riot twice a year. Now there la mani fest a strong tendency to clasp hands over the bloody chasm of Boyne memory and stand shoulder to ahoulder for Ireland. It s a recognition of the Inevitable Irish na tional sentiment through pure cussedness. The program of these antagonistic elements toward union may be Judged by the senti ments recently expressed by Lindsay Crawford, head of the Independent Order of Orangemen, in support of Imperial home rule. "Ireland," he aald, "has entered on tha last and most Interesting phase of her century-old struggle for self-government. and forces hitherto antagonistic are con verging on the national highway that leads to home rule within the empire. The main causes of Internecine strife - and division the church, the landlords aad education have one by one been removed from the sphere of controversy, and many of those who fought on opposite sides of the church and land war are now to be found on the fame side preparing for the final assault on the remnant of the ascendancy that Is Intrenched In Dublin castle." These are mighty hopeful sentiments for Ireland, considering the source. They foreshadow the approaching end of racial and rellgrloua hates and a united Ireland. Political equality, home rule and material pros perity are bound to follow. By cutting out a few of the roots of tyrannical custom a kecn-wltted French statesman has exposed a prime cause of the decreasing population of the nation. The marriage laws of the country are bound up with so much red tape that union among the poorer classes is exces sively expensive and annoying. In the cities a many as nineteen documents are required before a marriage ceremony may legally be performed. Consent of the par ents had to be obtained In writing, birth certificates and certificates of residence have to be produced, and In tha case of foreigners each document must be tran slated. Every document and every move meant expense, sometimes so great that many neglected the formal ceremony. A law recently enacted removed some of the red tape. If both parties have reached the age of 30 years, consent ot parent I not required. Other minor formalities have been dispensed with. The effect of these changes, Inaugurated a few months ago, were Instrumental in turning the tide of marriage upward, Increasing by 8.0(0 the number of marriages In six months, compared with the same months of last year. The result Is likely to lead to still greater reform and simplification of the marriage laws. An Impressive note of hearty good will was felt beneath the tumultuous welcome of the American fleet and sailors at Aus trallan ports. The paople of these faraway Islands have many Interests In common with the people of the United States. Be sides the kinship of common origin, there is tha sentimental ktrahlp of common des tiny. Australians, like the people of the Pacific coast states, possess a common fear of an oriental invasion by Immigration, and arc determined to resist It at any cost. Australian laws are more drastic than those of the United States In excluding Chinese and Japanese. The people believe tha mother country, because ot Its diverse colonial peoples and Its International alli ances, cannot be depended on to give ade quate force to the exclusion spirit, and propose to supply the means themselves, An army of SiiO.OOO men Is being; organised for the express purpose of defense against Asiatics, nnd will be supplemented with a small navy 'n due time. Deep In their heart Is the conviction that America and Australia must and will control the Pa cific, and that feeling gave a higher note of patriotic good will to the welcome than the American sailors will experience until they reach the home port next year. Difficulties are In the preparations that are being made for the payment of eld axe pensions In Great Britain and Ireland In January. One of the most serious of these Is the verification of the ages of the appli cants. Compulsory registration of births was Introduced Into England in lS3ti, but a similar act was not enforced In Ireland till IMS, and In Scotland till 1864. It la believed that in Scotland the old parochial registers of births and deaths will sen th purpose. Those In existence before V&i were for warded to tha registrar general at Edin burgh. In Ireland the difficulty will be mora acuta. Many of these old parish reg ister haJva been destroyed or mislaid, and wliara thsy 4 iai they ax unuruat-worliiy. 2o hzf&Zr 6i OA) Il Your Financial Interest to H FIRST NATIONAL BANK $ (M) OF OMAHA f.'J (it) Thlrteenm and Farnam streets ()) Capital $500,000.00; Surplus and Profits $675,000.00 ft l3'T'i-'t''i,S'i'' It is -to your finnnionl interest to have fin account with tin? First National Bank of Omaha. The people have confidence in this institution, because they know it is strong and well managed, exercising the greatest care in every investment and loan. MIRTHFIX RKMARK9, Bess You met Miss Borcm through Mr. Stringer. 1 believe. 1 didn't know he was a friend of yours. Dtcjt He Isn't. Bess-O. I thought he was. Dick Su did l.-Phlludelphla Press. "Do you think people will take kindly to your Ideas of reform T" "I don't know," answered Senator Sorghum. "One trouble about being a re former Is that there are so many dlfteieut kinds of reform wanted that your audience Is necessarily limited." Washington Star. How was It that they had such an all around family stew?" "I think It was all cooked up peiore hand." Baltimore American. Miss Jolly-Eddy Blank Is an awful flat terer! You can't believe a word he says. But I always like to meet him. KathleenMust be a case of mutual ad miration. I've heard him say the very same thing about you. St. LajuIs Times. nwllllnm. Have n tnoil rest at that sum mer resort up north T B flint I did. but It was pretty nara on mw girls. They had to walk nearly a mile to mall their picture postcards Chicago Tribune. "Mr. Grumbley writes, "1 don't see how you can have the nerve to sell your worth less remedy for B0 cents a bottle." "Oh, Indeed! Well, strike out 'have nerve to' and 'worthless and put the letter In our t-stlmonliils." Judge. TUB '.VAV F IT. Baltimore American. Folks are tired of tolls and trouble, They are tired of theories, They ate weary, oh. so weury. Of fine talk In policies. '1 iiey want tu see things doing. Not hiich flown aliusa ot graft; Si Mity'ro coming from all partiea Vote For Taft. They want a settled market. With a chance for great Mint small, Tney want no stunts bomhastfu, I.iadera riding for a fall: They want an hones platform. Free from demagogic craft So they're all around deciding To Vote For Taft. Thev want a boom In business. And they want a boom which clings They want to have for ruler, A man who has done things; They want no fairy promise: On Utopia they-re not daft; So hey're flocking to hla standard, To Vote For Taft. 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