Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, August 01, 1908, Page 6, Image 6
n TTTF, OMAHA DAILY BEE: SATURDAY, AUGUST 1, 1903. Tim Omaha Daily Dei. FOUNDED 6T EDWARD ROSEWATER. - ri i . . . . VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR. Enteral lit Omaha postofflcs aa second class matter. TERM8 OF Pl'B.ICRIPTION: pslly p-e (without Sunday), one year M 0 Dally Bee and Sunday, one year ( 00 DELIVERED BY CARRIER. Dall Bee (Including Sunday), per week. .150 tally Bee (without Sunday), per week...l'J Evening Bee ( without Sunday ). per w'k c Evening Be (with Hunday), per week, 10c Sunday Bee, one year I 60 Saturday Bee, one year 1 SO Address all complaints of Irregularities In delivery to City Circulation Department OFFICES. Omaha The Bee Building-. South Omaha City Hall Building. Council Bluffs 16 Scott Street. Chicago 1648 Marquette Building. New Tork Room 1101-1102, No. II Went Thirty-third Street. Washing ton 725 Fourteenth Street, N. W. CORRESPONDENCE. Communications relating to news and editorial matter should ba addressed: Omaha Bee. Editorial Department REMITTANCES. Remit by draft, express or postal order payable to The Bee Publishing Company. Only 2-cent stamps received in payment ot mall accounts. Personal cheoks, except on Omaha or eastern exchanges, not ac cepted. STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION! State of Nebraska, Douglas County, ,!. George B. Tischuck. treasurer ot Tna Bee Publishing company, being duly sworn, says that tha actual number or full and complete copies of Tha Dal'T, Morning, Evening and Sunday Bea printed during the month of June, !. was as follows: 1 IB .0 lg 88,400 IT 88.080 lg 39,110 It a.o B0. a 38,890 81 85,760 80 38,480 83 3C099 84 38,340 88 30,800 88 36,070 88 35,830 89 36,500 30 36,330 k . . ao.asu 30,740 .....11,090 M.M0 as,7ao OrU4JU T . .30, ft 00 8. 15,080 .....35,010 S,70 11 80,360 la M,oao U M.S90 U 30.000 I 30,060 Totals MW0.O9O Less unsold and returned copies.. 9,6T7 Nat total 1,079,313 Dallejr average 35,977 SOROS B. TZSCHUCK. Subscribed I In my presence andworn'to sfora ma this 1st day of Julv, 19ci M. P. WALKER, Notary Public WHEW OUT or TOWK, Pabeeribers imrimK th city tans, porarlly aha siava Tha Baa mailed to them. Ad dree. nl b rbana-ed M often aa requested. Castro may have a chance to beat the Dutch. Richard Croker Bays that he has given up io'UIcs for pood. Of poli tics? The crusade I6r the suppreBslon of unnecessary noises has not yet reached Lincoln. '.'',' Speaking of unnecessary noises, Mrs. George W. Noyes of New York is seek ing a divorce from hers. The American voter usually knows what to do when given his choice be tween experience and theory. Governor Hughes says he Is worrying over his renomlnatlon. New York democrats are. not The Apparently Mr. Bryan thinks the admonition, "Thou shalt not steal" is directed at the other fellow. The Jacksonlans might achieve their fell purpose easier by keeping Mayor Jim on the debating platform. The straight and narrow path Is a good deal safer to travel tor state offi cers as well as for ordinary citlsens A Bociety paper reports that "the Billy Beason is on at Newport." The silly season is always on at Newport. . Washington health authorities are protesting against the cracked mug. mturany no man wants bis mug cracked. If the sultan really wants to lm prove the Turkish constitution, he ought to place the ban on Turkish cigarettes. The new editor of the Commoner, It Is suspected, will not be able to find room In the paper for Mr. Hearst's Chicago convention speech. "Who," asks a correspondent, is the author of th statement, "Figures don't He!" Don't know, but it could not have been a dressmaker. New York reports a scarcity of chorus girls. Probably a natural ef fect of the shortage In this season's crop of Pittsburg millionaires. The author of "Bill Bailey" Is said to be bankrupt. He might take up a fat collection by promising not to write anything like that again. It looks as it Mr. Bryan Is opposed to larceny "through the operation of law," except only when the law can be twisted to operate in his favor. If It were not for going back on the Denver platform, Mr. Bryan would doubtless liks to get out Injunctions against Hearst and Tom Watson. A magaxina writer says canal water would help American railway stocks. Perhaps, but the American railway managers appear to prefer Wall street water. A Chicago man and his wife are In the divorce court because she refused to curl his moustache for him. Still, he would have kicked even harder if Bhe bad tried to curl bis hair. "Why I Would Not Marry My Hus band. Again" Is tho title or an article In tho current number of the Ladies' Home Journal. Why should It be necessary to marry him mora than one? UR. RRTAX JJVD THE RA II ROAM Mr. Bryan's declaration that he will not discuss any political proposition not contained In the Denver platform may relieve him of some embarrassing questions, but it still leaves govern ment ownership of railways open for his consideration, discussion and ex planation. The Denver platform. It is true, does not refer specifically to gov ernment ownership of railways, but It demands railway regulation, and on that point comes into direct conflict with Mr. Bryan's expressed convic tions. Mr. Bryan does not believe anything can be accomplished by ef forts to regulate railroads, so long as they are privately owned. Tho platform demands "efficient su pervision and rate regulation of rail roads engaged In interstate com merce," with an enlargement of the powers of the Interstate Commerce commission "to compel the railroads to perform their duties as common car riers and to prevent discrimination and extortion." That Is good republi can doctrine and Is In practical accord with the recommendations of Presi dent Roosevelt and the legislation In that direction by a republican con gress. It, however, collides with Mr. Bryan's emphatic declaration to the ef fect that it is hopeless to expect any good from efforts to regulate the rail roads and that government ownership la the only real remedy for railroad abuses. When Mr. Bryan spoke at Madison Square garden, In New York, on Au gust 30, 1906, upon his return from his European trip, he scared the dem ocrats of the country almost to death by declaring: I have reached the conclusion that there will be no permanent relief on tho rail road question from discrimination be tween individuals and between places and from extortionate rates until the rail roads are the property of the government and operated by the government In the Interest of the people. This radical expression was modified slightly by Mr. Bryan a little later, as protests poured in upon him from democrats all over the country, but as late as a little more than a year ago Mr. Bryan reiterated his belief in gov ernment ownership of railroads as the only relief from discriminations, re bates and extortions and corruption in politics. In a letter to the Wall Street Journal, printed April 10, 1907, Mr. Bryan said: For some fourteen years after my en trance Into national politics I hoped for effective railroad legislation, and was brought reluctantly to the conclusion that government ownership furnished the only satisfactory remedy for the discrimina tions, rebates and extortions practiced by the railroads and for the corruption which they have brought Into politics. According to this, Mr. Bryan tried for fourteen years to resist the In sidious workings of the government ownership microbe, but was finally reluctantly" compelled to succumb to It. He exhibited the first symptoms when, in the Commoner, In July. 1904, he appealed to the democrats of the country "to consider a plan for the government ownership and operation of railroads." In a speech before the Jefferson club in Chicago, In 1905, he elaborated his plan by proposing that the government own the trunk lines while the states operate the roads within their borders. This, it may be mentioned, answered a part of the southern objection, where federal ownership would mean the elimination of the "Jim Crow" cars. He turned completely to the doctrine in his Madi son Square garden speech in 190G and repeated his affirmation of allegiance to It in the letter to the Wall Street Journal In April, 1907. He further declared, In the letter of April 10, 1907, that he had "reached the con clusion that, In the end, regulation will be found ineffective." By his Denver platform Mr. Bryan places himself In the attitude of urg ing a system of railway regulation which he has repeatedly declared would be ineffective. After fourteen years of study, hoping to find some remedy In regulation, Mr. Bryan con vinced himself tht the only remedy lies In government ownership and that all regulation would fall to furnish the relief demanded. He has not ad mitted having changed his opinion, formed after so many years of study and thought. It leaves him In the at titude of muzzling his convictions in the Interests of party expediency, of urging a policy which he firmly be lieves Is foredoomed to failure. It is another proof that his motto 1b "Any thing to win." KXrORClSQ PC RE F'OD t.lH'S, One of the most important steps looking to the co-operative enforce ment of the federal and state pure food laws will be taken at a confer ence to be held at Mackinac, on Lake Michigan, beginning on August 1. Dr. Wiley, head of the bureau of chemis try of the Department of Agriculture, has Invited the representatives of the state dairy and food departments to meet with the government officials for the purpose of discussing and adopt ing plans for a combined effort to sup press misbrandings and adulterations. The plan contemplates the appoint ment of the local officers who are al ready employed by the states or the municipalities as federal auxiliaries and thus interest them in the work of the federal government. Tho importance of effective co operation between federal and state authorities in this matter Is apparent. The different states have gone ahead developing their systems of food con trol without much reference to each other, with the result that, with dif ferent rulings and different standards, tha effective work has been much be low what It should have been. While there has been some conflict between tho state and federal plans, the great est loss in effectiveness bag come through duplication of effort and con sequently Increase In cost of food In spection. Tho need Is for co-operation, which, it is believed, can be best recti red by having the local and state officers also represent the federal gov ernment as far as practicable. imw Tiir.r love tob kegru. The democrats of WeBt Virginia have contributed to Mr. Bryan's em barrassment by forcing negro disfran chisement to the front Just when Mr. Bryan is trying to put It on the shelf with free silver, government owner ship of railways and llko missteps which he has committed at various times. Mr. Bryan refuses to discuss the negro question because, as he says, It is not mentioned In the Denver plat form. The record indicates that he Is refusing to discuss it because, in an effort to placate the south, he has given a direct slap at the few north ern democrats who are making a bid for negro support. The West Virginia democrats de clare that the negro question is a na tional issue and that the democratic party is in favor of denying the ballot to negroes. In the stale convention of the democrats of West Virginia a negro disfranchisement and a "Jim Crow" car plank were adopted, "amid scenes of the wildest excitement." The negro disfranchisement plank is as follows: Believing that the extension of the elective franchise to a race Inferior in Intelligence and without preparation for the wise and prudent exercise of a privi lege so Vital to the maintenance of good government was a mistake. If not a crime, committed by the repuhllenn party during the reign of passion and prejudice following the civil wnr for political ends and purposes, we declare that the demo cratic party Is In favor of so amending the constitution as to preserve the purity of the ballot and the electorate of the state from the evil resulting from con ferring such power and privilege upon those who are unfitted to appreciate its Importance as It affects the stability and preservation of good government. According to the record, Mr. Bryan is In sympathy with the action of the West Virginia democrats. In his speech at Cooper Union, New York, last April, he was asked by a man in the audience to define his position on the question of negro disfranchisement in the south. He replied: The white man of tho .south puts a qualification on negro suffrage In self defense. There Is not a community In the north that would not put on a similar qualification under the same circum stances. The white men In neither the north nor the south will permit a few men to take the solid black vote and use It for the making of money regardless of the interests of the community, as was done by the carpet baggers in the south. But his West Virginia democrats can not even advance the fear of negro domination, usually pleaded in some of the southern states, in Justification of disfranchisement. The population of West Virginia In 1900 was 915,233 whiteB and 43,499 negroes. The whites outnumber the negroes by 21 to 1 and negro domination Is about as imminent in West Virginia as It Is in Nebraska. The West Virginians simply assert it as a democratic doc trine that the negro should not be allowed to vote. This 1b the general sentiment of tho democratic party and it is shared in by the party's candi date for the presidency. ASCERDEXCr OF THE AUTOMOBILE. Some inquisitive person digging into the records at the state house has dis covered a notable discrepancy between the assessors' returns ot automobiles taxable In Nebraska and the registry of automobiles kept by the secretary of state. The comparison discloses that 3,402 horseless vehicles have been licensed to travel the highways and byways of Nebraska, while the tax offi cers succeeded in returning only 1.6J9 of them. Of course, this discrepancy may be partly accounted for by the fact that some of the machines registered may have gone out of the state or have been put out of commission, and the further fact that the assessors are sup posed to have started their rounds on April 1, while the accumulation of au tomobiles by Nebraskans on Easy street has been going on right along since that date without interruption. The significant part of the exhibit, however, is not the discrepancy, but the disclosure that nearly 3,500 auto mobiles are at large In this prairie state, whose population Is made up ex clusively of farmers and people de pendent upon the farms. The remark able thing is the widespread distribu tion of the automobile habit. There are automobiles in tho cities and auto mobiles on the farms and automobiles in the sand hills. One far western Nebraska county, which used to be known exclusively for drouth, calam ity and populists, is paying taxes on thirty-one automobiles, not to mention the number that got away from the as sessor. Another Nebraska county, popularly supposed to consist of noth ing but alkali and buttes, has eight automobiles listed for the tax gatherer. How could the automobile gain such an ascendency In Nebraska unless con ditions here were most favorable for a prosperous people? And now the Chicago & Northwest ern railroad Is objecting to paying taxes levied against its freight depot property in Omaha for last year and tho year before, setting up a technical defense. And this Is the "only good railroad in Nebraska," that boasted about its refusal to Join the bad rail roads endeavoring to escape taxes by injunction. An old African traveler declares that the African Hon Is a coward and the elephant timid, and that the only really ferocious animals In the Dark Continent are bugs, beetles and mi crobes. President Roosevelt may not tak that hunting trip if he learns that he should go armed with Insert pow der Instead of magazine rifles. Colonel Bryan got out from under Brother-ln-Law Tom Allen's 115,000 boodle venture by setting up the de fense of innocent Ignorance. He can not plead Ignorance to Brother-ln-Law Tom's present scheme to rob Tom Wat son of the votes that are to be cast for him by Nebraska populists. According to our amiable democratic contemporary, the World-Herald, the great safe-blowing enterprise by which the Bryanites expect to steal the votes cast for Tom Watson In Nebraska in November will not be a crime because the dynamite and the drills were bought before Watson was nominated. The Brooklyn Eagle doubts the equipment of Norman E. Mack for the management of the democratic cam paign. Neither the Eagle nor Mr. Mack need worry about that. The real manager of the campaign Uvea in Lin coln. "Who Is the author of the 'Master of Mysteries?' " asks a reader. Don't know his name, but he is the man who is figuring out how Bryan can be elected without carrying New York, Indiana and a bunch of western states that are solidly republican. "Was Adlai Stevenson ever in pub lic life?" asks a subscriber. Yes. He served a term as fourth assistant post mefter general and was later demoted to the position of vice president of the United States. The announcement that Dr. Wilbur F. Crafts is about to speak in Omaha should prepare our good people for another loud notification that Omaha Is the wickedest city on earth and must be redeemed. Tammany Boss Murphy has been called into requisition to declare that "as surely as cotton is king, Bryan will be elected president." We recall several similar predictions made by previous Tammany bosses. It does not make so much difference whether tho amusement features for Ak-Sar-Ben's street fair are Imported from Coney Island or from Kalamazoo as it does whether they afford clean and wholesome entertainment. The temptation offered by the direct primary for a cheap test of a man's unpopularity seems to be quite irre sistible to a lot of people who would not risk their money on a more expen sive gamble. Nearly one-third of the teachers in the Omaha public schools receive the pay given to the highest grade of serv ice and efficiency. Omaha ought to have public schools comparing well with the best schools in the country. It la the Oners City's Style. ' St. Louis Times. Mr. Taft a not one of the prophets with out honor In his own town. Cincinnati showed him H smile bigger than his own. A Rohnst "nspirton. Washington Post. . Dr. Wiley thinks a good many divorces can be charged to poor bread, but In numer. ous cases there Is a suspicion that the dis agreement was brought about by a lack of dough. Tins for the Regulars. Minneapolis Journal. Jmlgo Grosscup's dictum that you can't fine a company more than Its capital stock holds a suggestion for the Monday morning bullpenner. I't him have himself Incor porated for 10 cents. Insurance Agjalnst Loss. New York Tribune. Mr. Bryan's campaign funds are to e stored In Oklahoma, the state which In sures bank deposits. In return for this kindness the Oklahoma legislature will dubtless convene in special session and enact a law Insuring presidential nominees gainst defeat. Views of "Fair Ploy." Springfield Republican. The George Gould view Is that the de cision favoring the Standard Oil company "again affirmed the American motto of fair play." It certainly tends to affirm the traditional Gould view of fair play which Is that the corporation wins when It's head and the public loses when it's talis. AMERICANS KEAK NOTHING. Take C hances on Land and Sea with Daredevil t'ourawe. New York Press. The American people are afraid of noth ing under the sun. Notwithstanding the horrors upon horrors on land and sea, in volving Injuries to hundreds of thousands annually and death to tens of thousands, there seems really to be no scare in us. Excepting a mere handful of nerve-wrecked Ir.valtds, who takes thought ot what may happen when or. pleasure bent. Who stays away from the theaters because a few oc casionally burn down, with great loss of life? Who demands a seat near an exit? Who quits riding on railroads because they kill 10,000 passengers a year and Injure 80,000? Who looks fur a safe seat? Who la afraid to travel seventy-five miles an hour. Who chooses his stateroom on a trans- Atlantic liner with a view to safety? Who asks the agent In what part of the vessel lurks the least danger? Who remains awake all night to look out for, collisions and Icebergs? Who cares if the billows are mountains high? Who hesitates to en joy the festivities of the saloon, the smok Ing room, or the concert room because of the leviathan's pitching and rolling? Who counts the number of lifeboats or examines the location of the safety devices? Who take the trouble to Inquire If there Is a flre-flghting apparatus on board? Who gives a rap about the fire drill? Who thinks about anything but a lot of fun and a quick voyage? Who, of all the million that register In hotels asks about the fire escapes? Who feels the slightest uneasiness about the safety of the elevators? Who would refuse an office at the top of a 1,000 foot tower? Who considers the possible horrors of a flood In a Hudson river tunnel? Who hesi tates to cross the Brooklyn bridge, even though experts report Its cables far too wak to sustain the burdens imposed upon them? Who's afraid of who, any way Who's afraid of what? The worst panic. Is forgotten In a faw days. I do not refer to money panics, which are never forgotten by those on the losing side.) OTHER LAND TlltX Ol R. Lord Cramer, foimer British governor of Kgypt. out-Hobson'e llobson as a war propht. In a recent address In the House of Lords against the old age pension bill, he assailed the measure viciously, declar ing the expenditure of money for the relief of England's aged poor was a perversion of the duty of the government. In his view of the things, the government's duty was to fill up Its war chests with coin and be prepared for an approaching war In which the life of the nation may be In valued. "Our duty," he said, "la to make provision betimes for a European conflict which msy not Improbably be forced on us before many years have elapsed." Ixrd Cromer's fears have a substantial founda tion, differing In this respect from the shadows which disturb the gray matter of tha Alabama congressman. King Edward's diplomatic moves have lined up Prance, Spain, Portugul and Italy on the side of Qrest Britsln. The recent conference with the ctar of Russia at Reval, doubtless re sulted In a satisfactory understsndlng. How well these entenes would stand the strain of war with other powers Is a problem for the event to solve. The fact remains that Germany appears to be the only power of Turope that has not come within the radius of King Edward's diplomacy. The activity of Germany In building up Its military and naval establishments, Its entendlng Influ ence through Austria Into the Ottoman em pire, and the world-wide expansion of Its capital and trade, makes It by large odds the most Imposing rival of Great Britain, commercially and otherwise, In Europe. If Lord Cromer did not have the German menace In mind when he assailed the pen sion scheme, he must regard the discon tent In India as a forerunner of war for the maintenance of BrltlBh supremacy In tho far east. General Wllhelm von Illume, on the au thority of the general staff of the German army, has Issued a bulletin In which he dis cusses the cost of a modern European war, presenting an estimated bill of such as tounding sire that the llobsons of the em pire are Inclined to sober up and keep allent. Germany, according to General von Blunie, would be able to put 4.750.000 troops in tho field; and to maintain this army In a contest with any European power, would require $1,500,000,000 a year. This reckoning does not Includo the results of financial de pression and the paralysis of Industry. General von Blume believes that the loss of life would be heavier than In the war between Russia and Japan, In which SO per cent of the Japanese armies In the field were killed or wounded. If this propor tion were to hold, Germany would loose, say, at least 900,000 in killed and wounded in the same length of time. These are stag gering figures, but the course of recent wars makes them highly probable. The departure of the president of the French republic on a round of visits to the Russian emperor and other sovereigns In the north of Europe is regarded with sat isfaction In France as making at once for peace and for the peaceful enhancement of French prestige. Such views of It are Judicious and amply justifiable. But It Is fitting, for the sake of historical complete ness, to emphasize the fact that It is the president of the French republic who is making his Journey, and whose making of It Is esteemed of so much Importance. Time was, In years still well remembered by men not old, when a republican presi dent was not generally persona grata at the courts of Enrope, and when France was looked at askant because of her In sistence upon democratic Institutions. Now, M. Fallleres Is the recognised peer of king and kaiser, and his goings and comings are regarded as of as much sig nificance aa those of any monarch. The Judgment of the Australian high' court In the so-called Harvester case has dealt a severe blow at what Is called the new protection In Australia, though as the decision was only obtained by a bare ma jority of one judge In a tribunal of five, it may not be altogether final. The essence of the Harvester excise act was to confer on labor an equivalent protection to that of fered to manufacturers by the tariff, by refusing the rebate to goods not produced under the standard trade union scale. The chief Justice and two other Judges of the high court have declared this legislation Invalid. Two of the judges dissent, main taining that no discrimination Is implied, and that the taxing powers of the federal Parliament can be exercised even if the Indirect effect should be to establish a wage standard. The Judgment has aroused much controversy. The lawyers and the capitalists generally support the majority, holding that the decision Is a vindication both of the constitution and the validity of the contracts. The labor men and many of the politicians agree with the dissentient Judges, Writing to a Frankfort paper, August Emerlch says: "Hero In tho Holy Ixnd one can see the old and the new fraternise as nowhere else on earth. For the accom modation of the Mahometan pilgrims . a railroad Is being built from Mecca to Medina. Can anything be more unreal than a Mahometan pilgrimage to tho sacred sepulcher by rail? That Is not all. The mosque which Incloses tho tomb of the prophet Is to be lighted by electric lamps, and when you visit Medina next year and remove your shoes before you enter the holy place you will seo the prophet's coffin Illuminated. The dim religious light will have vanished before the electric glow." ... John Nicholson was an Irishman bear ing a Scotch name who became a saint In India In the days preceding the mutiny. He led the assault at Delhi, in which he was mortally wounded. As administrator of the Punjah he so Impressed the natives that they regarded him as a demigod, and a brotherhood of fakirs adopted lilm as their saint under the name of "Nlkhul Seyn." On meeting Nicholson the members of the sect would fall at his feet and worship him, although he tried by Imprisonment and whipping to stop the practice. The lust of the original disciples of N'ikul Seyn died soon after the mutiny, but the sect ltill survives in the Punjab. An American teacher, on a vacation trip, writes from Swltierland: "It may be known to many people, but I and those who ftudled with me nevpr knew that the smallest republic In the world U In Switzer land. San Marino always held that plucj where I was instructed a. id where I taught. Now. as far as I am concerned. It wIM be Salanse, In the Canton Wallle. It lies on the e-aat of Dent du Midi, the Jagged mountain which forms, with the famous castle of Chlllon, the frame for the upper waters of Geneva. The republic is nothing more than a collection of little huts and the meadow land near them. It Is governed by four representatives, who are elected annually." Farmlna from the Library. Minneapolis Journal. Nebraska farmers are much stirred by the work of potato digging machines. At Beaver Crossing, In Beward county, a spe cial machine and gang of men are getting out a big crop in a day or two which would keep the old-time farmer, two hired men and all the family breaking their backs all the fall. It la getting so that farm ing can be done from tha library, Sleepless Nights are easily remedied. A glass of Hamm's delicious beer just before re tiring will bring restful and refresh ing slumber. "Leads Them All" Call for the Preferred Stock THEO. HAMM BREWING CO. ST. PAUL, MINN. J. E. DAVISON, Manager Omaha Branch, Telephones Douglas 397S and A.3978. POLITICAL DRIFT. Watson has opened In Georgia, according to reports, this being the first Intimation that he had ever shut up. Either candidate for president might have cinched the vote of New York by Inserting in his platform a plunk calling for a five-cent fare to Coney island. Two Bills, two Toms, two Eugenes and a pair cf Johns, all decorating presidential tickets, stamps 1P0S as a notable; year for political pairs named alike, but most un like. A leading southern paper has remarked that the average southern fanner would not give a five-cent glass of soda water to have Bryan elected. Alas for that $1 farmer contribution fund! The Buffalo Times Is Inclined to cheer up because "unprejudiced observers In Ger many and England think Bryan will win." Still, It might be well to wait till IlussU and France are heard from. Colonel Guffey Insists that the Haskell oil of Oklahoma doesn't smell any sweeter because it bears the Kairvlew label. The Pennsylvania article should be the better one, having been fanned with shoe leather. The Richmond News-leader reminded Governor Swanson on his return from Denver that "there are from l.oio to l.fVO white democrats In Richmond, and fully 500 in Norfolk who this year Intend to vote for Taft." Governor Haskell of Oklahoma, assistant carpenter on the Denver plutform, Is now diligently plugging for a Standard Oil pipe line In Oklahoma, and solic iting democratic campaisn funds. J 1 a s k 1 1 Is energetic and versatile, and knows what's whut. To avoid annoying publicity of campnl;n subscriptions of Il'JO or more, the democrats of Indiana cut the rate to IW, and have in vited the saloon Interests of the state to step up with the wherewith. Subsi rilx rs will get on the "roll of hi. nor." not fur publication, but as a guuruntce of good faith. President Tuttle of the Boston anil Maine road refuses to submit a ll-t of the company's free pass holders Ht the demand of R. W. Plllsbury of New Hampshire, candidate for th republican gube -material nomination. The latter charges that Uiu company Is distributing some ?') annual passes in that state, and that about to) are sent to men whsu pollileal activity la well known. Mr. Tuttle says that he is not engaged In f uriill.tng campaign docu ments for any candidate for governor. MIHTIIKl I. It KM A It Kg. "Why do they talk of the rudeness of nature?" "I don't know. To my Idea nalur Is very polite. Iook at the dip of the w.-ives, the bend of the river, the boughs of the trees." Daltlmore American. "Morally courageous, isn't he?" "I should say so. I've seen lilm refuse to take (lie short end of a had le t at long odds!" C'clvelsnd leader. landlady's Son (addicted to nickel liter ature Say, pardner, what's meant hy "stand by to repel Imarders?" Mr. Newcome (nidly eyeing- his dessert) Slewed prunes. Judge. Diiven to It by stern nerety, thu old si lor had taken the Job of running an ele vator. " 'Vast there, my hearty!" he said to the fat man who was moving toward the side 4 of tho car. "I'll have to ask ye to stand amidships. This craft has a heavy list to pori. c nicuKO iriDune. "Its really distressing to think." said the wealthy Mr. Farrasy, "that many very common and Ignorant pooplo will be ad- mltted to heaven." "Well, replied Mr. Cutting, "that needn't worry you." Philadelphia Press. 1 "I admire patience an self-control," saltf I'ncle Eben, "but when 1 see a man dais kin keep on sinilln' afler ho done bruise his thumb with a hummer, I can't help beln'j s picinus oi nis capacity Ion deceit. ton deceit. - Inded womsn uslilnglon Star. "Come." salel thp str.insr-mli- "I'm sura thero'a burglars downstairs. Wt win ko iniwn nna scare them away. t "Well, Maria," stammered her hushand,' "you g-g-Ko first: they wouldn't hit 1 woman." Philadelphia Ledger. i Kicker How does that church take til such a lai'Ko collection? Docker Was It taken up by a New York Sun. waiter?-! "What's In here?" asked thn tourist. I "Remains to be teen," responded thi guide, us he led the way Into the mummy room. Puck. i I (inks urn you notice tho flour on ths crown or Dev. Mr. Nailer's hat this morn- jrii-1) ett II1K ! Winks Yes. He must bo srettinir nrot dose to tho bottom of the barrel. Syracusa iiprain. TIIH OLD BR OK UN RECORD. I Puck. J How dear to Ills heart is the phonorraph't Hinging! 1 What fond recollections my memory stlrf Sweet Jam, lioes the winding and turns os the music Whllr; 1 elt and tell her the tunes I prefer? Hut, oh, how it tears iny nerve system t tatters, i Oh. hew It deranges my comfort and hllsi When Jane. Idly Kllps on an old broket record s i Which reels olf n song that sounds som thing like this: i "The old oaka-' aka hucka-bucka-bucJe-l Ir-r-r-r-r-r txiu-wow-wnw (crick ticket)- ("crick. crick, crick wkkkkoi j Tim ,lf-L-l. L ,1. lit. ..... '.' v n i, if w-VI-l. My stock of canned music I hall ai treasure: For often when callors annear on (hit aoon.' And topics are scarce It Is truly a pleasure To bring out our dear Utile talking m chine. The time passes fjulckly and every one's happy; The phonograph pleases till Jane, so re, mlFS, i Forgets dlMint winding the works of th treat ure, i Which lira w in out u tune that goes som ining like this: "D-e-ee J-i-l-i-t eeee ye Ha-ha hum - h-h-h-hl e T h -rererere s n o Pl-pl pi -place lk- h- We Are Hot Through Vith You When you buy Klae from us. the inuii kuiisiy yon we guarantee our work absolutely Our vat expei lenes of 20 year as exclusive Kye Blht 8peclll. Opp. rsoylsa tore, raster em rramlsa)