D
Price Tell Much Bai Qualify Tells More
Examine the quality of Monday's Ollcrlngs, compare lliem wild others. Yon'U find them superior.
Great
THE OMAHA SUNDAY HEE: JUNE 28, 190S.
If
uj I II II 'III '
Wash Goods
1 s .
r
THE RELIABLE STORE.
25c Yard-Silks25c Yard
An immense line of plain and novelty silks just received,
secured at About One-Third Their Actual Worth.
Immense assortment of beautiful patterns, colors and
weaves. In order to close tliein quickly we offer O C
them Monday in one big lot at, choice, yard C,J
7Q a Yard For choice of over 5.000 yards of beautiful
JmJG novelties, plain taffetas, messalines, louisenes. etc.,
that sell regularly at G9c to 85c a yard. Unmatched values
Monday.
Summer Rugs and Mattings
Unsurpassed Assortments, Matchless Bargain Prices
v- .
. , - .
$.VnO ron-li 15us Size 4x9, fine
line of patterns, at S2.9S
$1.00 1'ilx-r IJurs 36x72 Bi.e. on
Hfilt nt, (Voice 75?
$3.00 Seamless Mattlntr, Uif
fix'J Bizo, choice, Monday. $2.98
nor Fiber MattliiXH Beautiful
patterns, mn be Hewed and laid
like carpet, on Bale, yd. . . -39
ChliiH and Jap Matting Of all
description, very B!)eclal values,
yd.. . 500 350 230 and 18c
OTHKH NPF.OIAL IMG 1UR-
GAINS MONDAY.
!.(.()) Sanford's AvniiiiHter Hug
9x12 size, 15 patterns for se
lection, on sale, at. .. .22.50
Wiltou Velvet Iii".s 9x12 size.
Bold In Omaha at $30.00, special
Monday, price $19.98
$2..00 Velvet Kiiks 9x12 size,
beautiful patterns, at. .$15.98
$12..00 Axmilister Hugs 8-3x10-0
size, great snap, at sale
Mice $18.50
7-foot Wldonw Shades Best qual
ity water colors, at 22V&0
$20.00 Tapestry Brussels Hugs
Uest quality, 9x12 slzs, big range
of pattern $14.98
$10.00 Tapestry Itruaseta Hug
Cx9 size, on sale $6.75
$13.30 Kashmir Hugs 9x12 size,
no wrong side, fast colors, 40
patterns for selection, at. $9.48
Axmluster Hall Itunneis 4 ft.
6x12 ft. $15 values, at.. $7.98
On Sale Monday.
7-ft. Window Shades Uest quality
oil opaque, at 390
55 Boys' Knee Pants Suits $2i
ENTIRE SURPLUS STOCK OF
Max Goodman & Co.
623 Broadway, New York
Secured at About 50:
on the Dollar
Over 500 Summer Suits in the lot for
selection, plain double breasted knicker
bocker, Xorfolks with plain and kuick
eil.ocker pants; in fact all best styles,
plaids, rtripes, fancy mixtures and plain
colors, including complete lines of the
new shades of brown and greys, all sizes
C to 10' years, $4.00, $4.50 and ) Cf)
$5.00 values ; choice C,J3
Young Men's Long Pants Suits All
snappy spring styles, with broad
shoulders, hair cloth fronts, all newest
shades and patterns, in latest double
and single breasted style., regular val
ues to $15.00, at. . . .85.00 and $7.50
Read the Big Sale Prices for Monday
In Groceries, Fruits, Vegetables, Butter, Cheese,
Crackers, Teas and Coliees
f J v
C.I,M.. IHf .
rx.ouB. rrouK. rLODa.
4 S -1 L . Hui-k of the Finest Kiour made,
imililiiK Hke It anywhere for less
than i.io to 50o sack more; our price
In Oils sule 1.3S
Granulated Sugar, the beat for pre
ervtntc. at than Johlit-rs' cost.
10 ImrM lesl tuatuls I.aumlry Soap SSo
The bent 1 'oniestii' Muc aionl. vkg 8liO
Bi'oiiianm'loti, Jellyeun or J?ll-0, per
jk TWO
I.hi'km bottUs Woreeittr Sauce, J'uru
Tomato Catsup or ilcklas, assorifrt
kliiilx, V-r bottln b'ao
Any kind Corn Klukt-a you want. p. r
pkK av
yuuker Outs t'ouipany Toubtml N heat
Flakes, pk 60
Frexh. Crisp Potato t'hlp. lt So
The best Soila Crackers or fresh, crisp
Pretzels, per lb --o
LttIKe CuuklllK llilslns, per lb...7'UO
BFECIAL BALI Or TIKS TEAS
AMU COr FEES:
We Import direct, unl guarantee ev
ery pound purchased, of us, to be
the best possible valjes money can
buv: '
Golden Santos Coffee, exceptionally
good, per pouna 16o
Maraculho and Honota Hlend, an ex
cellent drii.k. per pound 17lto
J'orto ltico IHelld Coftee, the gleiit
family drink, per pound 30o
Ankola lUend, rich flavored and a line
body Coffee, per pound 33o
M J. Hlfiid, a top noich Coffe for
lovers of a rioh and elegant drink,
ner wound 85o
If you cannot drink Coffee, try a t
pound package of the Health Cereal
Coffee, for 35a
The best Tea SlftlnRS, per pound 15o
FKE9H TEOETABI.es AWD TBUITS
FOB miDAYl
8 bunches fresh Kudlshes for . ...60
8 bunches fresh Onions for 5o
2 bunches fresh Asparagus fur ...6o
3 bunches fresh Beets for 6c
3 bunches fresh Carrots for fco
3 bunches fresh Turnips for 6o
1-aine I'.ng Plant, each TV0
LuiKe I auliflowers. each Ha
An thine you want In the fresh
Vegetable line we have It, at one
half the price you will have to pay
for It elscv here.
BUT TOUR PLUMB AND APRICOTS
NOW FOB CAN NINO
Our cur of fancy Clymau Plums and
Apricots are the finest that has
ever been shipped out of California.
The bitf sale will continue tomor
row :
4 banket crates fancy Blue Clyman
Plums, per crate 85c
4 basket crate fancy Koyal Apricots,
per crate $1.00
They will not be this cheap aKain,
as Ihe strawberry crop of Colorado
Is a failure, und It Is bound to send
the prices of California fruit up.
The last of the Pineapples go at:
F.ach ... 50, 7V,o, 8,c, lOo, 13VtO
Doxcn, 65c, uc, 9Co, S1-0S, U9
Embroidery Sale
We have had several big embroidery
sales during the season, and natur
ally there has been left a great
quantity of mussed or slightly
soiled embroideries and lnsertlngs.
Monday we will Bell all the Swiss
Cambrics and Nainsook edges,
braids and lnsertlngs In these lots
that sold regularly from Be to 20c
yard, in one great lot to close. 3 Mi
15c litres Monday 9C
Broken silks and vals. odd piece of
Zion City and a full line of elegant
cotton and linen Torchon Laces,
both edges and lnsertlngs, regular
selling price to 15o yard, at..3V4 4
Remember We Are Sole Agents for
Zlon City Lares in Omaha.
Extra Special Mond'y
2.V Fancy Kuchim;, yard 15f"
2.V Embroidered Linen Collars
Oc Klitfttlc Ilelts, at 15c
Hump Hook and Eye, card. -7Vi
Merrick's 2K yd. .Machine Threitd, on
mile, at, spool 3C
HarlHiur's iiOO-yd. Linen Thread, on
sale, at, spool 7Vfc
Warren's Silk Feutherbone, jd.7,
Klelnert's Featherweight Shields,
V'r lSH
Uno Dres SliJelds, pair 15c
Crepe I'm per, all colors, roI1....5
Tajwr Napkin Best quality Japa
nese goods, per 100 15
THOMAS HAMMOCKS
They Cunnot Ho Broken
Cheap as the cheapest, best on the
market. New lots just received.
SEE THEM MONDAY.
Linens, Sheetings,
Heavy Domestics
In Our Famous Domestic Roim
Here is the place to buy Dimities.
9-4 Bleached Pepperal 17 He
9-4 Bleached Lock woods. . . . 17 Vfe C
2c up for 10 ; ; 2c dow n for 8V4, etc.
Edward's mills, regular 10c,
bleached Jjj
Ballenvace f,
Haut'er'B choice
These arc all 10c grades.
12 He India I. limns
12e Ungllsh Ixing Cloth Jjp
19c English Long Cloth lOc
19c India Llnons IOC
10c India Linons 30
From 9 to 10 a. m. I case of
Bleached, fine 10c Muslin, 10 vds.
Hniit 3 r
From 10.30 to 11:30 I case of Sc
Unbleached Muslin 3Mi(
From 2 to 3 p. m. I case of IPc In
dia Linons, at
Silk and Wool Suits lust Half Price
A Record Breaking June Clearance Monday and Tuesday
All Silk Suits and Dresses, all
our Tailor Suits at Just Half Reg
ular Selling Prices.
All $25.00 Silk Suits at $12.50
All $30.00 Silk Suits at 15.00
All Silk Suits that sold at $40.00
and $50.00 at $20.0025.00
Ladies' Silk Rubberized and Auto
Coats, on sale at 33 Discount
from regular prices.
Long Silk Kimonos, that sold to
$7.50, choice.. $3.98
All Tailor Suits at JUST HALF.
Xo exceptions, every one must go.
Spring 1ackets and ("oats, Cov
erts, Broadcloths and Craven
ettes, at Just Half.
$10.00 Jackets and Cravenettes
for $5.00
$15.00 Jackets and Cravenettes
for $7.50
Magnificent June Clearance
Bargains on Infants' "Wear Monday.
High quality, splendid assortments, moBt charming style ideas, go hand in hand with the 50 saving Monday
and Tuesday. Seldom, if ever, were you offered a saving opportunity ita equal. Come early Monday and get first
choice of this tremendous stock at a saving of half from regular prices. Mall orders filled.
t
Ladies' Gloves, Hosiery, Parasols, Muslin Un
derwear Knit UnderwearGreat Sale Monday
S SEFARATE AD ON PAGE k MAGAZINE SECTION.
ORDER
BY
MAIL
ORDER
BY
MAIL
High Grade Wash Goods Dept.
In this department we carry the very finest
grade of wash goods ever sold in this town.
We will start Monday at closing out all fine
high grade wash goods at exactly half the
marked price.
All 50c and 59c silk warp goods 25c
All 35c and 39c silk warp wash goods 19c
All 29c and 30c wash goods 15c
All 25c wash goods 120'
All 19c wash goods 10c
All 15c wash goods 7Vs
Everything exactly as advertised. Nothing
reserved. Come early.
All mail orders promptly filled.
Curtains and Draperies
Rousing Monday Specials,
$8.50 Brussels Net Curtains, on sale Monday nt,
a pair $5.98
White Brusselette Curtains 54-in. wide, snap
at, pair $2.98
Snow Flake Curtains, in red, green, blue or yel
low, greatly underpriced, pair, $2.50, $1.98
and $1.49
Madras Curtains, in all the soft shades for sum
mer draperies; special at, pair, $6.50, $5.50
and $4.98
36-in. Madras, beautiful designs; special at, a yard.25
3."c Huftled Nets, yard 1250
-5c Ruffled Swiss, yard 12Vi
Ready Made Sheets
and Pillow Cases
At Less Than Cost of Raw Material
Whitethorn size, 81x90, each.... 75
Utlca size 81x90, each 7o?
Defender size 81x90, each 6JiC
Mohawk size 81x90, each GTC
Standard size 81x90, each 5J)?
Linen finish, size 81x90, each. . . . 4)?
Utica size 72x90, each 61)0
Defender size 72x90, each oOc
Mohawk size 72x90, each 55 C
Standard size 72x90, each 490
Linen finish, size 72x90, each... 300
Amazing Bargains Monday in Our
High Grade Linen Department Y item Absolute
Money Savers
Full bleached all pure linen satin damask table cloths, Scotch and Irish
makes, regular 75c grade, Monday, yard 490
72-lnch Belfast gTass bleach table damask warranted pure flax, sold every
where at $1.25 yard, Monday, yard 650
Pure linen dinner size table napkins, heavy Scotch material, good wearing, a
regular $2.50 napkin, Monday, dozen 1.45
A mixed assortment of high grade towellngs, including the best Barnsley's
and Stevens, regular 15c values, Monday, yard 90
Grand ausortment of 6trlctly high grade towels, including large size bath
and hemstitched hucks, the best hot weather towel item ever offered, good
value at 35c, Monday, each 190
Greatest bedspread value In Omaha, large size, knotted fringe, Marseilles pat
terns, regular $4.00 quilt, Monday, each $2.25
fl Few Snaps in Hayden's Crockery Department for Monday
Plain white shell Auatrain-China cup
and saucer, worth $2.00 dozen, for
Monday only, while they last, at a
set 590
Large siee chop or bread trays, will
go at 120
2-quart Mixing Bowls 9?
2 rolls of Shelf Paper, any color, will
go at 50
6 sheets of Tangle Foot Fly Paper,
will go for 50
Odd Plain White Cups, each 20
Odd Saucer, each 1
Decorated 1 -quart Bowls 50
Fancy Decorated Cake and Bread
Plates, In rose and fruit designs,
worth 50c, at, each 100
Try
First
In our famous Domestic Room
All giMHl on (Mtle here will
closed out Monday. No C. O. I),
or Mail Orders filled on thi oue
Kale.
20.000 yards of Organdy Cnrroeux
tiint sold for 11c yard 10,000
yards of Organdy de Lux that
sold at 15c yard; all new from
the bolt; all you wuut at, per
yard tl'ic
12,000 yards of 12 '2c and 15c Ba
tiste, in long remnants, 5 to 10
yards; will go at, a yard. . .Hiv
15,000 yards of Sampson's Silk
Novelties or fine Summer Prints,
in lengths from 5 to 12 yards,
that sells always at 10c yard, at
per yard 3ic
10 yards of White Goods, in all
grades, that sold from 12 Vic to
2 5c yard, at Oc
10,000 yards of White Goods, up
1o 39o yard lOo and 7c
Arnold's celebrated 2 5c Scotch
Cloths, at 7?2c
39c Silk Mulls, plain 10o
3110 Silk Mulls, lotli-d 10O
2hc Anilerson'H Scotch Ulntrham . . . lOo
100 full holts of Toll du Nurd, A. F.
C. and Hull's" Dress Ginghams, nl-
Tny sells at 12Vtc So
60 dozen Hath Towels Ho
60 dozen Hath Towels Bo
60 dozen Hath Towels 7iO
100 pleerg of 7-inch Hie.u'hed Irlh
Damask, the $1.00 grade B80
100 ploccs of full Mereerlzed Damo.sk,
the regular 39c grade lbo
60 pieces of 120 All Linen Crash.
at 7Ho
60 pieces of All Linen Glass Towel
ing, at So
Coma Early.
. . . .'.fV il
f I r
n
urn
High Grade White X
Goods Department
India Linons, 32 inches wid at,
a yard, S.lc, 10c, 15c and I2V,C
Persian Iawns, 3 6 inches wide,
regular 39c grade, at, a yd. .25c
25c grade, at, a yard IDc
Wash Chiffon, 4 5 inches wide, reg
ular 75c quality, at, a yd...5J)c
Opera Batiste, 4 5 Inches wide, reg
ular 65c grade, at, a yd.... 45c
Regular 69c grade at, a yd... 35c
Clare Batiste, 3 6 inches wide, reg
ular 39c grade, at, a yd.... 25c
French Lawns, 4 5 Inches wide,
regular $1.00 grade, at 60c
85c grade at 50c
50c grade at 85c
Checked and Striped Dimities, t, a
yard, 85o, 19c and 15o
Mercerised chiffon, 45 inches wide,
at, a yard SSo
Mercerized Hatlste, 45 inches wldn,
regular 6'Jc grade, at. a yard... 39o
French Embroidered Mull, 45 Inch's
wide, at, a yd , $1.98, 61. BO and BOO
Kmbroldered Uatiste, 45 Inches wide,
regular $1.50 quality, on sale
Monday, at 73o
St. Gall Swiss, 32 inches wide, reg
ular Jl no grade 69o
Regular 75c grade Boo
Regular 60c grade 35o
Scotch Swiss. 27 Inches wide, regular
30c grade, at, a yd 15o
Mercerized Checks for lingerie waists,
at, a yard 39o and BBo
Mercerized Fancies, on sale at, a
yard, 39c, 85o, 19o and 120
Auto Cloth, Touring Cloth and Linen
Finish Suiting, at, a yard, 19c. 16o
and laViO
Furniture Specials Monday
A Sample Line of Oak Sideboards
$15.00, $lb50 and $18 50 values,
pretty styles nicely finished, choice
in Monday's sale, 4 4 Z(
11
Vs.
$2.50 Iron Bed Full size,
strongly made, at $1.65
pltchen Ca-bi:.i i worth $4.85 two large
bins, two drawers, two moulding boards,
hardwood top; golden maple finish. $3.40
Golden Oak Sewing Rocker Nicely
finished, neat and strong, $1.75 val
ue, Monday at $1.35
Hot Weather Articles In The
Every Item a
2-gallon white lined, blue enameled
Preserving Kettle, worth 60c to 65c
each, only 860
2-burner Gasoline Stoves, worth $2. 11,
only
12-Kullon, heavy galvanised, GarliaBa
Cutis, new and bright forgd handles,
tight fitting cover, worth tl.85. only
only 300 of them, for 790
14-inch Lawn Mower, crucible Heel
blades, will out clean, worth $ "5,
on sale for $3.69
Whetmore rubber Garden Hose, fully
guaranteed, per foot XOV40
Good liubber Hose. 70, 8V0, MiO
and 100
8e Hose Heels, closing them out for,
each
9c Grass Catchers, fits any mower,
for 490
25c tlrass Sickle. spielM sale ISO
The llrand Ice Hux, 3 Vi feet high by
23 Inches wide, only 35 of them left,
all 6" tomorrow for $8.49
'-gallon Water Cooler, Just the thing
for thrt house, keeps water sweet,
clean Kiel cool, ni.'i.el pWied faucet,
sold usually for J5.00, a snap, $1.98
The I'liriian 2-bui ner, nickel pbu, d
(las Stove. We have 300 of them
for this sale, worth $2 25, only $1.49
I-buriier I'lnte. worth II. fit, 980
WASHIXrOt MACHINE BALE
MONDAY
Genuine Western Washer, on sale
for 2-f8
Busy Hardware Department.
Real Bargain
The $3.00 O. K. Washer, only $
The 110 .00 Kaay or Ak-3-.ir-Bon Wash
er, only $7.49
Largest size heavy galvanised Tubs
only 49o
Medium size 46o
Small alza 39o
Large, medium and small Water Palls,
at 19Ho, 16o and 19o
Large enameled Water Palls only 860
Large enameled Dust Pans only 16o
Heavy Screen Ijoors, extra thick,
new and strong, only 89o
We do not handle thin, damaged
doors ut any price.
lCxtra htavy block tin Wash Boiler,
copper bottom, Koyal brand, price
printed on label $1.7u; out price.
only 98o
ICE CIIEAM rEEEZEB BALE
1-o.t , $1.10; 2-qt . $1.30i 4-qt $1.80
Hoys' $:l.u0 Wooden Couster Wagons
only $188
20c Parlor Hroorns, union made, 13 '-jO
$1.25 Food Choppers, any make. . .890
VOW IS THE TIME TO FAXaTT
If you want to pay 1.65 to II. Do per
gallon for paint you can do so, r ut
why not buy the best house paint
made, guaranteed by us for five
years, for $1.98
Heady Mixed Housh Paint, per gal
lon 980
I
From the Story Teller's Pack
lie Followed.
fjKKVOL'S commuter, on his
A I dark, lonely way noma iroiu
I the railroad station, heard fool-
A fik I hfclnA him He hail an
. uncomfortable feeling that be
was being followed. He In-
taj ai speed. Ths footsteps quickened
accordingly. The commuter darted down a
lane. The footsteps still pursued him. In
desperation he vaulted over a fence and,
rushing into a churchyard, threw himself
janllng on one of the graves.
"If he follows me here," he thought fear,
fully, "there can be no doubt as to his In
tentions." The man behind was following. He could
hear tilin scrambling over the fence. Vis
ions of highwaymen, maniacs, garroters
nd the Ilka flashed through his brain.
Quivering with fear the nervous one arose
aid faced his pursuer.
"What do you want?" he demanded.
"Wh why are iron following met"
Hay," asked the stranger, mopping hia
brow, "do you always go home Uks this,
or are you giving yourself a special treat
tonight? I'm going up to Mr. Brown's,
and the man at the station told me to fol
low you, as you lived next door. Excuse
my asking you, but Is there much more to
do before we get there?" Everybody 'a
Magaxlne.
1st 11a Shad of the Pyramids.
"Bo you are Just back from a circular
tour of the Mediieranean, Including Egypt
and the Nile. Well, well!"
The speaker was George Ade, playwright
and humorist. Shaking the hand of the
brown young Indiana farmer, he went on:
"I know the sort of conversation you
heard over there in Kgypt. Say, listen and
I'll tear oft a yard or two. It ran like
this:
"'"Isn't it lovely? Cleopatra lived here,
and Moses, and Pharaoh! It makes your
head swim, doesn't It?"
" 'I guey II I the bad air. It hurts my
bead, too. Is that the Nile?"
" 'I suppose so. Isn't It dirty?"
" "Look, at t.htt crocodile basking in the
sun.'
" 'Is h basking? Oh, Maude, dear, by the
way, la your r.ew basque to have the fash
ionable loftg Sleeves?
" "Gee. there's the sphinx.'
" 'And that must be the desert But I
don't see any caravans."
" "No. How provoking.'
" 'isn't It nice to travel on a railroad
where they don't have any soot?"
" 'Yes, and do you notice the balmy,
spicy smell?" '
" 'Yes, indeed. Just Uks cloves, isn't it?
What can it be? I'll ask the brakeman.
Brakeinan..'
'" 'Yea, madam?
" 'Where does that spicy smell come
from?"
" 'If'rom the engine, ma'am. We don't
uses nothing but mummies for fuel on this
hero line." "St. Louis Republic.
The Crooked DeaJ.
John Mitchell, the labor leader, was dis
cussing in Pittsburg a labor struggle of
the past. .
"You see, they didn't give us a fair deal,"
ae said. "It looked fair on Ita faoe, but
really It was like the deal of Harvey Barr
of Braldwood.
"Harvey Barr, a successful lawyer, had
a wonderful talent for gutting the best of
people. Kven at home he kept thlB talent
in play. His wife said to him one morning:
'" 'Harvey, dear, this Is the fifteenth an
niversary of our wedding. What are you
going to give me?"
" 'This is w hat I am going to give you,'
Harvey answered, affectionately, and he
handed his wife 1& In crisp, fresh bills.
"' "Oh, thank you! And what shall I give
you?' the gratified wife afked.
" "That meerschaum pipe I've been ad
miring so long.' Harvey promptly an
nounced. "In the evening, on his return home, the
pipe awaited him. It had cost Just $15. He
lit up and began to color It carefully.
"But as the evening wore on his wife
seemed ill st ease.
" 'Where Is my present, Harvey?" she said
at last, fretfully.
" 'Why, my dear,' Harvey explained, 'you
gave me a pipe; I gave you $15. Don't you
see? We're Just even.' "
Ner av Hospital.
"Talking of our Brltlah cousin? inquired
E. Black Ryan, tu attorn ef the ftouUi-
em Pacific. "Well, I heard one the other
day. Big fat Britisher shoved Into one of
those compartments at the last moment.
There was an American in there reading
his newspaper.
" 'It's sixty miles to my station,' re
marked the Englishman, 'and, I say, old
chap, I'm treating myself for a wounded
fKit, and, I say, If you don't mind. I'll put
s me of this iodoform on my ankie. H atly
mi lllng stuff."
" 'Go ahtad," said the American. But
when he got the full odor of it he shoved
up a window, pulled out a i lear and lighted
it, and began puffing away vigorously.
" Here, here, my good f-llow," protested
the Englishman, 'this Is no smoking com
partment!' "Han Francisco Chronicle.
Doctor's Adilce ftourned.
Andy McTavlsh was "no feelln' Julst
weel," so he went to the doctor and stated
his complaints.
"What do you drink?" demanded the
medico.
"Whuskey."
"How much?"
"Maybe a bottle a day.'
"'Do you smoke?"
"Yes."
"How much?
"Two ounces a day."
"Well, you give up whisky and tobacco
altogether."
Andy took up his cap and in three steps
reached the door.
"Andy," called the doctor, "you have not
paid for my advice!"
"Ahtn no' takkln' It,' snapped Andy as he
shut the door behind him. Calgary Herald.
Xaiioleon aud Ills Ceok.
Napoleon never breakfasted at the same
hour. Now he would breakfast at 7, now
at 11. now at 10. Yet, whenever he rang,
his brink fast, a young broiled chicken,
was always brought linni'illately tu him,
cooked to perfection, Just off Hie grill.
fine morning Napoleon sent for his cook
and said, wUh a pleased laugh:
"How do you manage it lliat, no ma'ter
when I breakfast, my clil. ken Is alwaya
ready, done to a turn?"
"tiir." said the cook, "evi ry b n minutes
I put a fresh chlcki.n 0:1 to bro.l. T.:ua
one la always perfectly done for you when
you ring " .
o K.nruuragruirnt.
Rose Btahl. who has Just !o. d In "The
Chorus Lady," tells a genulf.ily funny and
new one on the mother-in-law. When
mother-in-law came to stay with the newly
married pair for the doienth -lllie n
found her daughter In teais on the door
step. "I suppose George has left you," she
sniffed.
"Yes" (sob).
"Then there's a woman In the casiT' she
asked, her eyes lighting up expectantly.
"Yts" (sob).
"Who is it?" she demanded.
"You'' isob).
"Gracious!" exclaimed the mnther-ln-law.
"I m sure I never gave him any en
couragement." Young's Magazine.
toother tilow for Father.
Brfidon, the composer, was working on
bis symphonic poern when the baby's lusty
cry was heard from the n tisery. Bragdoii
ho" it manfully for f!e inute. expect
ing ba,by s mother to come to the rescue.
Then he of, ned Ihe do r i.nd shouted up
stairs: "rt'hut is the mutter' Harry, are you
teaslt.g the baby'.'"
"No, :U a."
"You n;ui be doing something to make
him cry." .
"No papa-truly! All Ethel and I did
was to try to sing him to sleep with your
lullaby." Youth' Coui'uiioo.