TTIE OMAHA DAILY T5EE: Tnt'fiSPAY. AFRIL 10, 1008.
Tite Omajia Daily Bee.
FOUNDED BT EDWARD ROBEWATER.
, VICTOR ROSE WATER, EDITOR.
Entered at Omaha Poetofflca aa aecosd
clasa matter.
TERMS Or SUBSCRIPTION:
pally Bee (without Sunday), on year..M
lailv Htm and Sunday, ona year
Sunday H, ona year
Kalurday Bee, ona year
DELIVERED BT CARRIER:
Dally Bea (Including Sunday), par week.lio
Iaily Hem (without Sunday), par week. Wo
Evening Bea (without Sunday). fr week to
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Addreaa all romplalnta of frregularltlea
lo delivery to City Circulation Department.
OFFICES:
Omaha The Bea Building.
South Omaha City Tlali Building.
Council Hhiffa 15 Scott Street.
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Thlrly-thlrd Street.
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CORRESPONDENCE.
Communiratinna relating to newa and edi
torial matter ehotild be addreaaed. Omaha
Bea, Editorial Department.
REMITTANCES.
Remit bv draft, exprea or poatal order
payable to The Bee Publlahlng company.
Only 2-rent atampa received In payment of
mail accounta. Peraonal rhecka. except on
Omaha or eastenrexchangea, not accepted.
STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION.
Ftate nf Nebraska. Douglas County, as.:
George B. Tisehuek. treaaurer of The
Bee publishing company,, being duly
worn, aayi that the actual number nf
fu.l and romplete copies of The Dally.
Morning. Evening and Sunday Bea printed
during the month of March, 108. waa aa
fnllowe: ,
1 38.560 IT S7.B80
J ta,S40 II 86,630
' 3 36.360 It 36,800
4 36,430 20 36,680
1 36,870 21 36.B80
( 36,660 ' 2! 36,400
T 36,190 21 M.9O0
( ... 38.600 24 36,730
t 36.480 2S 36,680
10 36,300 it 36,840
11 36,670 27 36,700
11 36,600 II 86,670
II 36,130 it.. I 36,380
14 38.970 10.... i 36,880
It 38,350 II 36,930
14 36,660
Totals 1,133,350
Leas unsold and returned coplaa.. 8,183
Net total...' 1.183,098
Dally average 86.338
GEORGE B. TZSCHUCK.
Treaaurer.
fluhficrlbed in my presence and sworn
to before ma thia let day of April, 1908.
(Saai) ROBERT HUNTER.
Notary Public
WHEN OCT OF TOW8J.
gabicrlbera laavtag the city
erarlly akoald have) The Be
Mailed t taean. Addraaa will t
ekantied aa aftea aa reajaeatea-
Let ll work for Greater Omaha all
the time.
"Socialists at Work" is the title of
a new book by Robert Hunter. It
must be action.
It is barely possible that it may be
a fight instead of a frolic for Mr.
Bryan at the Denver convention.
A member of the Washington base
ball team is down with the smallpox.
It is the team's first real catch this
season.
"We want eggs, and we want them
bad," advertises a Kansas merchant,
who ought to be arrested by the pure
food law inspectors. ' ;.
That "magnificent" Fremont law
yer is altogether too brilliant to hide
his light under a bushel. He should
tome out from cover. v
The official "clean-up" day has not
yet arrived in Omaha, but there is
nothing to prevent anyone from clean
ing up any day he chooses.'
Spain has closed the fiscal p'ear with
a surplus of 135,000,000ln the treas
ury. Spain has made money by get
ting whipped by Uncle Sam.
Joseph H. Choate suggests that
women devote their bridge whist win
nings to charity. They do to the
kind of charity which begins at home.
BiKhop Fallows declares a butter
milk diet is conducive to longevity.
It can be proved, also, by using the
Fairbanks presidential boom as an il
lustration. Mr. Bryau has been invited to the
White House on May 14. Mr. Bryan
has no trouble to get to the White
House almost any day except March 4
of odd years.
John K. Tener, formerly a profes
sional base ball player, has been nom
inated for congress In a Pennsylvania
district. Another endorsement of the
big stick policy.
The king of France and 10,000 men
marched up the hill and then marched
down again. Mayor Hoctor of South
Omaha gave only a feeble Imitation of
this performance.
The filibuster in the house at Was,
ingtou is said to be a Bryan campaign
maneuver. If bo. it Is accomplishing
nothing but to add emphasis to demo
4'atlc ineijlciency.
Pennsylvania delegates will go un
Intstructed to the democratic national
convention. Boss Ouffey never Issues
his instructions until the last bell
Bounds for the starters.
Judge Gray of Delaware wants It
distinctly understood that he is not a
candidate for the democratic presi
dential nomination, but that be will
take It 1 It comes to him.
Of course, if Mr. Bryan finds it im
possible to secure a nomination a
Denver under the two-thirds rule he
may decide to abrogate the two-thirds
rule and fall back on the rule of the
majority. !
It la estimated that 1,000 liar tend
pis have been thrown out of work by
the success at the temperance workers
iu tke recent elections. Well, the soda
fountains will soon be calling for ex
pert help.
thhocoh tcrtortSAX trts.
The London Statist, perhaps the
most keen of the foreign observers of
American affairs, has Just published a
most optimistic review of financial
and industrial conditions In this coun
try. The article Is particularly inter
estlng, as It refuses to emphasize the
effects of the recent financial flurry,
so prominent In the viewpoint of roost
Americana, but looks beyond existing
conditions and makes a study of ele
ments that are to figure In the affairs
of the future. It contends that Amer
ica's rapid development In wealth,
trade and population can not be
checked. It calls attention to the fact
that the development in trade, wealth
and population in the last six years
has not been remarkable or phenom
enal, as is generally considered, but
has been persistent and continuous al
most throughout the history of the
country.
The London publication cites the
records to show that the population of
the United State has doubled every
thirty years, Its wealth every twenty
years and its trade every ten years.
This has been the result of vast natural
resources and the opportunity offered
to both capital and labor to develop
these sources of wealth and trade. It
contends that the nation is capable of
producing twice as much wealth as It
is now creating and of maintaining a
population many times as great as It
now has. The mineral and agricul
tural resources of the country are
equally abundant and capable of being
greatly increased In production and de
velopment. "H would seem, there
fore," says the Statist, "that as the
growth of the country In wealth and
population Is assured by the posses
sion of vast national resources await
ing development, there is nothing to
prevent the expansion of the past cen
tury from continuing for the future."
The depression recently felt was not
due in any measure to a lack of faith
in the' future of the country or the
success of Its development. No panic
or. industrial depression has ever
robbed the American people of serene
confidence in the future or the ability
of the country, to recover rapidly from
any backset. Industrial and financial
embarrassment has 'never been more
than temporary and the reaction has
usually been prompt and complete.
Already there is evidence of an In
creased supply of capital for legitimate
business, a lessening of the danger of
a further contraction in trade and a
general disposition to return with re
newed effort to the development of
the country's wealth, trade and popu
lation so forcibly pictured by the Lon
don observer. The restoration to nor
mal conditions may not be rapid, but
It is certain to come.
WHAT DOSS IT ME AS'!
The remarkable situation uncovered
at Lincoln showing the tax returns
made by the Northwestern railroad
this year to be In valuation more than
three times the returns made for the
same property last year suggests the
question, What does It mean? Of
course, ft goes without saying that if
the figures returned by the. railway
officials under oath last year were cor
rect the figures returned this year are
incorrect and, contrarywise, If this
year's figures are correct, last year's
returns were grossly understated and
the railroad, instead of being over
taxed, as then claimed, has all along
been a flagrant tax shirker.
The reason for the colossal discrep
ancy will probably develop later, but
now It is a fair guess that thes'orth
western Is voluntarily boosting Its tax
assessment in order to establish a high
valuation to serve as a bulwark
agalnBt rate reduction. It ia plain
that what a railroad ia worth for earn
ing capacity it should also be worth
for tax assessment. The most difficult
task besetting the railroad representa
tives has been to reconcile the hteh
values' placed by them on their prop
erty for rate Justification and the low
valuea they have placed on it in tax
returns.
If this is the real explanation of the
sudden inflation of the Northwest
em's assessment figures it will be
hoove the state board to handle the
returns with care. The . voluntary
payment of more taxes than would be
warranted would not necessarily be a
good exchange for exemption from
rate control.
CANADA AND AUElllCASS.
It Is something of a novel experi
ence for an American citizen to be de
nied admission to any country In the
world, but that is what 18 happening
these days along the northern border
The Canadian government has placed
immigration inspectors at fourteen
points on the Canadian border and in
structed them that "physically unfit
immigrants will not be allowed to en
ter at any time and Japanese will be
barred. If the labor market in the
Dominion ia overcrowded at any time
Immigrants will not be allowed to
enter."
Thia isa distinct notice that the
Dominion government will take steps
to protect its laborers and citizens and
that undesirables are not wanted no
matter from whence they come. No
Ill-feeling will be caused in this coun
try by such a decision. It Is well un
derstood that the ruling is not aimed
directly at Americans although it
must apply to them on account of its
general nature. The Dominion gov
ernment makes this plain in an official
statement Usued from Ottawa in
In which it Is shown that nearly 40.
000 Americans settled in Canada last
year. About 6,000 of them were
farmers who had sold their farms In
the states and entered Canada with
an average of $8,000 each. Artisans,
tradesmen and laborers took in an
average of $100 each and the Domin
ion officials estimate that altogether
these people from the United States
carried nearly $48,000,000 Into
Canada.
The Americans took more than
money into Canada. They carried
with them certain feelings which are
certain to find their reflex in the senti
ment of the people of western Canada
as the country Is developed. The
dream of annexation of the Dominion
may not be realized for generations,
but the sentiment in favor of commer
cial union, or a strengthening of the
trade relations between the two coun
tries, Is growing rapidly. It Is partic
ularly strong In Western Canada,
where only an Invisible line separates
the people who have every lnterst in
common. That section of Canada is
being developed. rapidly and its Influ
ence must soon be felt at Ottawa and
Washington.
WHERE THE AUTOS BALKED.
The practical abandonment of the
original plans for the New York to
Paris automobile races vindicates
Alaska's reputation as a country of
hard sledding. All of the stories re
lating to the gold hunt in the Klon
dike, up tho Yukon, at Nome and
other diggings in the north territory
recounted the hardships of the pros
pectors who battled with dog-Sleds and
snowshoes over the frozen trails in
face of terrific storms. The enthusi
asts who planned the automobile race
overlooked these stories and conjured
up visions of snowbanks with a crust
that would hold up the heaviest auto
and turn the proposed route Into a real
speedway. The trail looked different
after the automobile men saw it.
When the American car reached
Valdez, Alaska, its 'drivers found a
sleigh track, about three feet wide,
with snow waist deep on either side
of it. Snow was melting in drifts and
any thought of getting the heavy tour
ing cars over the trail was promptly
abandoned. The cars were shipped'
back to Seattle and will go by steamer
to Japan. Nothing has been gained
by the proposed race around the
world except a demonstration that the
automobile, while a most useful In
vention, has its limitations in forcing
a right-of-way through sections of the
country where the elements are still in
command.
KOTSO BAD AS ALL THAT.
A contributor discussing the water
works decision makes out that the
federal court affirmation of the
$6,000,000 appraisement means that
taxes must be imposed on all Omaha
property to pay Interest and sinking
fund on this entire amount. To quote
more exactly:-
SiTfch purchase would make necessary an
Issue of bonds In an amount exceeding
.000,000 that is to say, that taxable prop
erty within the corporate limits of Omaha
would be taxed not only to pay 5 per cent
interest on such bonds, but also to raise
a sinking fund annually in order eventually
to redeem the bonds. Thus our property
must pay something like I per cerit. and
possibly 10 per cent, annually, upon $6,000,
000 necessary to meet such obligations. -
The $6,000,000 water works ap
praisement is bad, but not quite so
bad as all that. It will not do for our
people to get scared or drop into the
dumps because of the untoward out
come of the water works litigation.
Whether the water works property
is worth $6,000,000 or not, purchase
at that price would not mean that we
must raise all the money fcy taxation,
but simply that the taxpayers would
be held for possible deficits between
revenues and expenditures. The city
is now paying in round numbers
$100,000 a year for hydrant rentals,
which at 4 per cent is interest on
$2,600,000, and the other earnings of
the water company have been paying
interest on itsoutstanding bonds, it
the city should eventually be forced to
buy the water works at the appraised
price the worst effect would be to pre
vent reduction of water rates which
our people had been led to expect or
relief from water rentals already high.
There is no excuse for anyone trying
to frighten property owners or pros
pective investors by pretending that
the enforced purchase of the water
works will materially Increase city tax
rates heretofore Imposed.
The threatened democratic usurpa
tion of the South Omaha city govern
ment has flashed in the pan. The po
sition of the outgoing mayor and his
associates before they reconsidered
their announced Intention to hold on
to office under pretense that the elec
tion in which they were defeated was
void boa use of irregularities for which
they themselves were responsible, was
absolutely untenable. It is usually
better for a man to back up when he
finds himself wrong than to go on un
til he bumps up against a stone wall.
But the democratic bunch In South
Omaha could and should have discov
ered that they were wrong before they
started. South Omaha has voted a
change in city administrations in or
der to get better municipal govern
ment and It is to be hoped expecta
tions will be fully realUed under the
new republican regime.
It Is a little early for anyone who
pretends to be a republican to concede
Nebraska's electoral vote to Bryan.
But perbapa the welf-styled republican
so eagerly quoted by Bryanlte organs
Is really working for Bryan under
cover.
A new' telephone Invention has been
installed in congress by which mem
bers may hear the speeehes and de
bates on the floor without leaving
their private offices. It is not ex
plained why members should go to
such trouble to hear debates that they
usually avoid by seeking the exclusion
of their private offices.
That statue of Lincoln, paid for
with money collected by the school
children of Omaha, is said to have
been patented and copyrighted by the
sales agent so that no one can even
photograph It without permission. The
next thing will be to put a high board
fence around it and sell tickets at the
gate.
The Omaha Street Railway company
does not hesitate to set tip the claim
that its rights and franchises to use
the streets of Omaha for traction pur
poses run into perpetuity. That is
another question that will be threshed
out some day and give the lawyers on
both sides a chance to collect some
more big fees.
Japanese have bought 1,000 acres
of land on Puget sound to start a tea
plantation. It Is claimed that the soil
is finely adapted for the purpose. It
Is pleasing to find the Japs trying to
raise something on this side of the
Pacific besides trouble.
It is up to somebody to explain how
the physical valuation of the North
western railroad in Nebraska as re
turned for assessment and taxation
should have Increased more than
threefold in one year, and especially
in a year, of falling values.
A man was arrested at Paragould,
Ark., because the braying of his
donkey disturbed a church meeting.
But he won his case In the courts. Ar
kansas still thinks enough of Its United
States senator to throw the protecting
arm of the court around a big noise.
On Monday the democratic World
Herald had Taft nominated hands
down. On Wednesday it discovers
that the renomination of Roosevelt Is
the only possible outcome of the Chi
cago convention. Somebody must
have gotten orders to reverse himself.
Congressmen opposing the construc
tion of four new battleships are said
to have been promised a public build
ing bill If they will be good. The
naval architects may as well begin
preparing the plans for four ships.
' IMeaanrea of Anticipation.
Kansas City Times.
No doubt Emperor William awaits the
visit of President Roosevelt with much
interest and will arrange to give his dis
tinguished guest a bully time.
A Great Opportunity.
Chicago Record-Herald.
If E. H. Harrlmnn desires to send his
name thundering down the ages let him
make the Erie railroad something mnm
than a game in which the outsider gets
double-crOBsed.
Sympathy for the Left.
Indianapolis News.
Failure of New York to instruct for Mr.
Bryan would doubtless be regarded by him
more with sorrow than, with aimer. Ho
hates to see even the people of the enemy's
country fall to get In on his triumphant
Dana wagon.
Favorite In .Name Only,
Kansas City Star.
Thrt hostility toward Cannon In Illinois,
Hughes' loss of a portion of the New York
delegation, and tho disaffection from Knox
in Pennsylvania, all tend to suggest that
"allies" is a better name for them than
"favorite sons."
llobaon Sera Thing.
Roston Globe.
Congressman Hobson Is still conjuring up
horrid spectres of war, but the 'country
as a whole is calm. A gushing vnuni
lady once asked Sydney Bmlth If he be
lieved In ghosts. "No, my dear young
lady," he replied, "I have seen too many
of them."
What Militarism Coats.
Chicago Record-Herald.
We are inclined to commiserate Euro
peans on the cost of their military estab
lishments, but consider this comparison:
The estimated expenditures on the Ger
man imperial army for the year ended
March 31, 1908, were $179,000,000 and on the
navy J56.800.000, making a total of -
800,000. Our army and navy appropriation
Dins come to 1202,000,000t and If the wishes
of the Navy department were gratified
they would come to J ISM. 009,000. ?ynics
charge our pension bills to politics, but
however It Is reckoned It has Its origin
in military activities, and the Germans
have nothing, to compare with tlila item
of SloO.OUQ.OtiO. .
PERSONAL NOTES.
Remarks made by Da Sagan as he sailed
from America were far from complimen
tary, but they didn't tie the acore.
One of the two atreet railway companies
In Chicago has Just paid Into the city
treasury i3,34. being 65 per cent of lta
net earnings during last year.
With one screaming divorce going on and
one recently concluded, it Is feared the
matrimonial investments of ttie Gould fam
ily have nut been dividend-payers.
New York proposes to try the novelty of
flushing streets Instead of aweeping them
dry. The idea waa a novelty In such cities
aa Omaha and Denver two decadea afo.
Krlgadier General Rarry, commanding
the army of Cuban pacification, has been
granted leave of abaence for one month
with permiaslon to visit the United States.
The daughter of William Penn is atill
a party to a law suit In Philadelphia. That
city has long had a reputation for ex
treme deliberation, but really thia seems
to break the record.
According to reporta the Peking Gazette,
after a brilliant but brief existence of only
911 years, is about to suspend. Some of
the "old eubacrtber" who . have "been
taking the paper ever since it started,'
probably have become dissatisfied and
withdrawn their support.
Mine, de Navarro Is visiting Rome with
her husband. Those who remember her
aa the Mary Anderson of the stage in all
her statuesque beauty would scarcely rec
ognize her now. for, although she la atlll
a handsome woman, her lines are no longer
classic in fact, ahe la decldudly matronly
and much more of a Juno than a Venus.
Karon Rosen, the Russian ambassador,
is going home to Russia tor a visit of
several month on leave of absence. He
will sail rrom New Ycrk April t on the
Mauretanla, and doea not expert to re
turn to the L'ntUd Btatea until October.
Thia la the first opportunity in three years
that the baron haa had to visit his native
RO(M) ABOI T NEW YORK.
Ripple on the Carrent of Life la the
Metropolis.
A young woman of 30 who Inherited a
large thirst, saturated her hide with a
quart of "third-rail Julc4." a brand of
electrified booze tnillt especially for the
trade In dry districts. When the Juice
begHn to circulate through the woman's
system, things began to move In her fourth
story flat on East Highly-first street. First
a shrill shriek smote the atmosphere. Then
came a large piece of furniture carrying
a window sasln As the crash died away,
bric-a-brac hit the pavement. Ixwklng
glasses added to the din, and then the
tenants began to pour out. A man In
passing was just In time to catch a double
barrel shotgun on the head and Rink down
unconscious. Someone dodged a bedstead
and threw a little water on him. When
the Injured man got up he sidestepped
bureau drawer and with a yell of terror
followed the proceeeton. A few more frag
ments of furniture were followed by smoke
and more war cries. Then the police ar
rived, also a section of the fire department
and an ambulance. These reinforcements,
with the aid of a stomach pump, suc
ceeded In putting the electrified warrioress
out of business and restoring peace in the
neighborhood. The -name of the wonderful
"Juice" Is not blown on tho bottle. It la
a eelf-advertlser.
There is too much easy money In the
big town and the wise Willies have been
getting all of it. Now their sisters are
out for part of It with a sympathy wrinkle
that is being worked with some success.
This Is the way It is done: Last' week a
refined-looking woman let out a wall In
the Sixth avenue shopping district that ahe
had been robbed. Soon a crowd of sym
pathlzing women gathered around her and
she began to cry that she did not have
a penny to get home and that ahe lived
In a town about twenty-five miles from
New York. She offered to repay those
who would assist her. Some of the women
chipped in different amounts and one gave
up a dollar. Cards were exchanged and
the woman who had been "touched" went
on her way apparently ' happyt. Recently
another woman met with the aame mis
fortune, and almost In the swnie spot. It
so happened that the woman who had
parted with the dollar to the woman of
last week was In the crowd of sympa
thizers. When ahe heard the woman's
story she waa so Impressed with the coin
cidence of last week that she decided to
follow her, which she did. The woman
entered an ice cream parlor nearby. When
the woman who was on her trail caught
up, lo and behold! there was the woman
of a week ago and the one of yesterday
laughing over the easy money!
"It's back to the west for me," admitted
a young man who has already started for
the old home. Before he left, however, he
gave a little supper to a couple of his
Intimates who were really sorry to see him
go, for ho Is a good fellow In every sense.
"This is no city for me to live In," he
confided to his friends. "The governor Is
all right, but S10.000 a year to his mind
Is plenty of money for a single man to
spend. The result is that I've got to go
home. New York Is all right If you have
money, but It's no place for a JI0.0oo-a-year
piker. I can live the simple life, but
not in New York."
Michael Briefer, a siness man from De
catur, III., hne Avoided a prison term for
blgumy by making a novel agreement with
the Judge who tried him. If Briefer helps
to support three children by his first mar
riage and che by his second. Judge Foster
will consider the outraged majesty of the
law vindicated and will not Impose any
sentence.
The agreement was made In thj court of
general sessions In face of emphatic pro
tests by Briefer's first wife, whose lawyer
urged that such a courso was not only
Illegal, but offered encouragement to
bigamy.
After the accused had furnished bond!
to carry out the agreement the Judge sus
pended sentence. He said:
"I do this as the most practical, quickest
pnd most common sense method nf assur
ing maintenance for these children., This
plan has caused a great deal of comment,
as undeserved as It was unexpec'd. You
will be paroled In custody of the prison as
sociation and will be sent for by the court
any time within five years and punished if
you do not conduct yourself aa a man."
Tho chief compounder of liquid confec
tions in the Fifth Avenue hotel bar, Colonel
Jim Gray, in a reminiscent chat with his
cronies over mixed drinks and things, re
marked: "What's to become of the old-fashioned
whisky cocktail? You can get dry Mar
tinis with a dash of absinthe no real
Christian would drink one, I may say at
any bar in town, and you may buy Man
hattans and forty other varieties of atom
ach wreckers, but where will any whita
man be able to get a gentleman's drink?"
There was no answer. The subject was
too painful for free discussion.
"Well do I remember," satd Colonel Jim
retrospectively, "the first old-fashioned
whisky cocktail made in this house. It was
back in 1S81. I don't say that other people
may not have put up stuff they called old
fashioned cocktails, but the first, simon
pure, bona fide drink of that dcscrlptioa
was compounded by me on the date I
have mentioned. Really, gentlemen, I con
sider it a historic incident not to be com
pared unfavorably with the'battle of Agin
court, the signing of the Magna Charts or
Hie fall of Odell. General Grant, to the
best of my recollection, was the first to
smack his lips over that undiluted nectar
of Kentucky corn. I, myself, and I say
it with pride, (Billy, bring us another pint),
invented the formula for the only genuine
old-fashioned whisky, cocktail. This is it:
lxaf augar. half a lump.
Ice, a small cube.
Nutmeg, Just a sprinkle.
Whisky, two finger Fifth Avenue special.
Shake well, and for heaven'a aake no
bitter.
GLASSES
The Huteson Optical Co.
Makes the Finest Glasses
in the West.
OITB Till TACT the widest pub
licity you tan. and every time you
make the statement you will help
soma one.
The Xutteoa "he-aotM Invisible
Bifocal ia the best far and near glaas
made.
Here In Omaha In our own fac
tory we are niakln theae "8ho-not"
Bifocal I-nwe, which not only do not
bow any separation, but do not ia
any. Juiit a clear alngle lena with
which anyone can a both for dis
tance and reading. Nee our Toricurv
L,ense. They curve 'round the eye.
HUTESON OPTICAL CO.
113 Sowtk lath St.
factory aa the Pramlaea.
I
FINE N
The
Tests show
Caking Powder lo be most
purity and
mmammJ o
4&
No Alum, No Phosphate o! Lime,
No alum or alum-phosphate baking
powder has been guaranteed or
approved by the United States or '
any State authorities. The adver
tising claims of the alum powder '
makers to that effect are "faked." '
m
SMII.I.G 1IKMARKS,
Sympathizing Friend You suffer from
general debility sometimes, do you? Did
you ever try massage?
Mrs. Skimmerliorn No; how much does
It ccst a bottle? Chicago Tribune.
"You are dyeing, F.Typt. dyeing," as Mark
Antony remarked when he caught Cleopa
tra putting peroxide on her pompadour.
Baltimore American.
Doctor (taking an after-funeral stroll
through cemetery) This is truly a beauti
ful spot. Nature has done everything for
it.
I.ady Companion You are too modest,
doctor; you have contributed your Bhare, I
have no doubt. Boston Courier.
The woman of the house eyed him sus
piciously: "You've been here before, haven't you?"
She asked.
"Not lately, ma'am," answered Warp
ham Iiong. "You prob'ly reoo'nlze me
clothes. This Is an old suit o' yer hus
band's you wuz kind enough to give me
when I wuz here two years ago," Chicago
Tribune.
They were returning from the spelling bee.
"Mr. Kpoonamore," she said, "why did
you miss that easy word? You spelled
honor with a u .
"I know it,' he answered. "The feeling
came over me all at once that I Just
couldn't get along without 'u,' Miss Daisy."
With which old, old story he won Jier.
Chicago Tribune.
"Would you regard Governor Johnson's
campaign as a reform movement?" asked
one eminent democrat.
No," answered tho other; "it s a sort of
Swedish movement." Chicago News.
'I noticed she bowec to you. Is she an
old acquaintance?"
"Y-yca: we're alightly acquainted. Tn fact.
she's a sort of distant relation. She tvua
the first wifVof my second wife's first
husband." Chicago Tribune.
Actor I have persuaded that critic wha
wields so much power with his pen to take
dinner with us.
Wife What shall I give him?
Actor Well, for one thing a good, plain
roe at
Wife (timidly) But, dear, would that bi
tactful? 1'hiladelphla Tress.
"t desire to swear off my taxes," said the
millionaire.
"Of course, we understand that," sug
gested the official, "but it is necessary
to give some reason merely as a form,
you know."
"Why, It'a ao much easier to swear off
The Best Spread
For Bread
muffins, biscuit,
buckwheat cakes
or waffles.
corn sn
Tbe delicious extract of
whole com of unequaled
quality and flavor.
Fint and Dandy for
CriddU Caktt
la airtight tlaa.
COIN nODUCTS
Economy Points to Hospe's
it is a aeciaea advantage to me intending riano uuytr to niaa a Bdcvuu.
at an establishment where there la a large and representative collection of
Pianos not merely a variety of a alngle make, but a GREAT NUMBER OP
DIFFERENT MAKES.
The Hospe Btore offera the advantage to a degree not approximated cla.
where.
Particularly is this bo now. Conditions in the Piano trade were affected
as much by the recent financial flurry as in otht r bimineBsea. Because we were
able to buy PlanoB economically, we are now selling them to you at economical
prices. If your home needs a Piano, you couldn't select a better time to buy.
. These instruments that we purchased below market prices are really re
markable opportunities for you.
For Instance, the new "dark English Oak Pianos," sold in many stores for
1350, which we are offering for $200. Pay $5 per month.
Also the latest Mahogany Case Pianos. In this line we have some magnifi
cent $300 instruments for only $175.
Don't fall to see the exceptional bargains in used Pianos, many from
famous makers, at prices ranging from $50 up. It Is a clearing sale that ia la
progress here. That ia why you should come now. The above are only a very
few of the BIO CHANCES we are offering Piano buyers.
We are factory distributers for Kranlch & Bach, Krakauer, Kimball,
Hallet & Davis, Bush & X-ane, Melville. Clark. Cable-Nelson, Cramer, etc.
Ypu bad better coma now.
A. HOSPE CO.,
Branch Houses Council Bluffs,
Oiiiclal
Dr.
heallhiulness
than to pay them," replied tho millionaire,
somewhat bored.
The rest was the merest routine Phila
delphia Ledger.
Dill I lost my silk umbrella yesterday at
the club.
Tickles Too bud! But you'll get It hnck.
won't you? Aren't your Initials on It?
pill Well, come to think of It. there aro
some Initials on It," but they ain't mine.
Somervillo Journal.
Andrew Jackson had Just proclaimed the
doe'rine that to the victors belong tho
spoils.
"I'd like to see anybody carry the First
ward on any other platform," ho said.
Sternly refusing to sign the Municipal
Voters' league pledge, he lighted his corn
cob pipe and defied the reformers to da
their worst. Chicago Tribune.
Cholly What do you suppose that pretty
waiter girl I chucked under tho chin meant
bv what she did?
Willieboy What did she do?
Cholly I told her to bring what she
though was good for me, and she brought
me dog biscuit. Baltimore American.
Til KIR KSCATE.
Chicago Newa.
A harpy smile the young man wore.
And yet I knew he must be sore.
His eyes were swollen nearly shut,
His chin waa bruised, hla ear was cut.
And yet you saw In spite of this
He fairly radiated bliss.
krhe girl seemed very happy, too,
Although she was all black and blue.
Her hat. poor thing, was knocked awry,
(Hhe was uncommon sweet and shy.)
Her face by scarlet spots was marked
In places, too, tho skin waa barked.
I looked and wondered at tho pair.
They both seemed quite used up, for fair.
The Impulse I could hardly check
To ask them all about the wreck.
Or why and for what fancied fault
They had encountered the assault.
And why they showed no great distress
But really beamed with happiness.
T'ntil at last I heard him say:
Well, after all, we got away.
"It's foolishness, that throwing shoes.
I think I am one solid bruise."
And from some other things they said
1 gathered they were newly wed.
to Candy
lte. Sac.
Pay $5 per month.
Price's bslfl
r- sva
'
mt ceo.
1513 Douglas St.
U.; Lincoln, Jieb.j Kearney. Xeb.
