Nebraska Newspapers

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THE OMATTA SUNDAY BKRs MATICIT 22. 1003.
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STATEMENT OT CIRCULATION. . .
Stat of Nebraska. Douglas Coutny, ss.t
George B. Tsschuck, treasurer of Th
Be publishing company, being duly sworn,
ay that th actual number of full and
complet. copies of Th Daily. Morning,
Even In a; and Sunday Bee printed during
th month of February, 1908. was a fol
. lows;
M.7M II 30,100
S...-..ot.. 0S,SOO IT.)-...
9m 9d,10O 1 8. ...
4 a,o it. ......
IMU to........
aa,iwo ti.
, f i sSyMo n. ..,,......
M030 S3 -
' t..V4 85,000 S4.rs....
80800
3, 730
38,300
8S.340
36,630
3600
36,300
36,870
38,490
38,880
38,380
38,1150
IS . . ....
11 8,100 2
ll.......,. M.S00 IT
11............ SCJOO IS
' 14 M.10O 11
Ji .'. 88,110
Total ,
...... 1,048,650
Less unsold and returned copies.. 8.43T
Net total....... 1,038,113
' Dally avarag 36,831
aEORQB B. TZSCHTJCK,
l Treasurer.
Subscribed In roy presence and sworn
to bfor m this 3d day of March, 1908.
ROBERT HUNTER.
Notary Publkx
WHEN OCT OS" TOWN.
. Safceoriber leaving- tn city ten.
permrlly shnnld kare Tk Be
anil t then. Addraaa will 1
Welcome, Gently Spring.
Fire Insurance companies are not
fighting for business in Kentucky.
Governor Sheldon Is getting In trim
to be something of a globe trotter
himself...
"Single women should pray for hus
bands," says a Buffalo bishop. Most
of the husbands need It, all right.
Senator Klklns is to give his daugh
ter's hand to an Italian. The senator
has a fine Italian hand of his own.
The fleet made a bit ali the way
around South America and Is repeating
the performance in ICIagdalena bay. ""
Would Americans take kindly to a
movement in China, Japan and India
to raise money to send missionaries .to
Kentucky?
"P. Wealth" is a candidate for office
In Montana. His first name Is not
given In the dispatches, but we pre
sume it is "Predatory."
Leslie M. Shaw would still make as
good a favorite son candidate for the
presidency as ever if he only could get
some state to adopt him.
A hot finish is predicted in the New
York to Paris auto race. That would
even thing up a little, as the start
was certainly cold enough.
"Senator , Tillman is passionately
fond of roses," says an exchange. If
he is, he keeps them to himself. He
never throws them at anyone else.
Governor Hughes' emissaries who
went to Iowa to gather any crumbs
that might fall from' the Taft table
were compelled to return home hungry
Bourke Cock ran has left the demo
cratic party and former Senator Joseph
Ralph Burton of Kansas has Joined it
The party muBt decide whether it has
gained or lost.
American people who have admired
Admiral Evans' success In fighting the
nation's enemies will regret that he Is
compelled to retire to private life o
fight rheumatism.
Prince de Sagan announces that he
will not follow Mme. Gould to this
country. Could she have been cruel
enough to refuse him the price of
a steamship ticket?
Congressional appropriations for the
coming year will amount to only about
$900,000,000. In other words, the
"Billion Dollar Country' has been
marked down.
The populists are threatening to
nominate La Follette for the presl
dency. While Senator La Follette
may have made some serious mistakes,
no one belleva he merits such a fate.
Senator Tillman says that President
Roosevelt Is planning a truce with
Harrlmaa and Rockefeller. Doubtless
Harriman and Rockefeller wish the
senator knew what he was talking
about
' After all Is said, It Is generally con
ceded that a postal savings bank sys
tem will give Just the people who need
it a perfectly safe place of deposit for
their bard-earned accumulations with
out carrying with It any of the valid
objections urged against all the other
proposed plant of safeguarding bank
depositors, '
TILIPIKO SKLF-'oOVKRttittnT.
The question of Independence for
the Philippines, proximate or remote,
is sure to occupy public attention as
one of the Issues between political
parties In the coming national cam
psign. What may be said in party
platforms or from the stump about the
rapacity of the Filipino for self-government
too often passes current at a
political discount, but testimony on
thla subject In advance of the cam
paign by a careful student of political
science, rather than by any candidate
for office, should carry more than
usual weight
Such testimony is to be found In an
article on "Filipino Self-Government"
contributed to the March number of
the Political Science Quarterly by
Prof. E. W. Kemmerer of Cornell uni
versity, whose conclusions are based
on an exhaustive study of the history
of the Island and the experiments of
Its Inhabitants In self-government In
thla article the author re-emphasizes
the truth of the commonplace prin
ciples, "that a people cannot suddenly
break with their past; that democ
racies are evolved, not made, and that
capacity for self-government is not
like Jonah's gourd, the growth of a
day, but Is a sturdy plant of years of
growth, and that only In the soil of
experience." He goes on to show that
the most successful government In the
world today Is that of the Anglo-
Saxon races, which passed through
eleven centuries between the time of
Tacitus and of Magna Cbarta and
through nearly six centuries more be
fore the ratification of the American
constitution, while it was but three
centuries to the battle of Manila bay
from the time the early Spanish mis
sionaries described patriarchal institu
tions of the primitive Filipino people,
thenyJust emerging from barbarism.
The final word of Prof. Kemmerer
is as follows:
The Filipinos are still deficient In those
moral qualities which are the foundation
stones of popular self-government. The
masses, of the Filipino people have yet to
learn the lessons of political honesty, of
thrift and of self-reliance; they have yet
to learn that political office Is a publlo
trust. Possibly the United Btates Is not
th beat teacher of this lesson; It must b
learned none the less. They have yet to
learn that mutual concession, the graceful
yielding- of the minority to the will of the
majority, and respect for th rights of
others are essentials of successful democ
racy. Not until they have developed these
homely civic virtues can they expect to
hav an efficient self-government. In
tellectual education Is an important factor
In capacity for self-government; It la not,
however, the only one, nor th on most
difficult to develop. The great work now
before the Filipino people Is th develop
ment of these sturdy clvlo virtues. . It Is
at best a herculean task for a Malay peo
ple, living In the tropics, with the historic
training of the Filipinos. " They must not
expect to accomplish It In a day.
Contrast this with the Bryanlte de
mand for an immediate proclamation
fixing an approximate date tor the in
dependence of the Philippines "as soon
as a stable government canibe estab
lished," and with the position of the
republicans, that our guardianship
over our Philippine wards must con
tinue until they are thoroughly
capable of governing themselves.
DOES IVROPB BATE VBt
Former Comptroller of the Currency
A. B. Hepburn, now the president of
a New York bank, has started conver
sation In the diplomatic circles of the
world by declaring that all this
hands-acrosB-the-sea" talk is sheer
nonsense, that the United States la cor
dially hated by all the nations of Eu
rope and that "nothing could be con
templated with greater complacency
by the continental powers than a war
between the United States and Japan."
He believes the growing Importance of
this nation as a naval power and Its
commercial aggression in Europe have
aroused the enmity of the foreign
powers until they wish Japan and the
United States would go to war and
wear each other out On this feeling
Mr. Hepburn places the origin of the
repeated rumors from Paris. Berlin
and St Petersburg of our Impending
difficulties with Japan. He concludes
that the wish is father to the thought
and that constant prediction of trouble
Is In the hope of Inciting It
Americans will not be worried
greatly over any commercial Jealousy
that our particular activities may have
aroused In European countries, but
Mr. Hepburn touches another proposi
tion which reaches a raw spot He ssys:
We are regarded on the continent there
s a bumptious people who ought to be
spanked Into soma sort of decoram, and
they would welcome and rejoice in any In
ternational complication, not Involving
themselves, that would bring us Into diffi
culties. We ar their commercial and flnan
clal rivals.
Whatever feeling European nations
may entertain for the United States,
they may as well take notice right now
that we will object to being "spanked
into some sort of decorum." We may
be whipped in an open fight and take
our medicine with what grace we may,
but we will never submit to being the
object of one of those humiliating
spankings that brings up memories of
home and mother and places our na
tion in the naughty boy class. Mr
Hepburn was in Europe right after
the panic and it Is suspected that he
was wearing his blue goggles. Noth
lng in the International exchanges war
rant his apprehensions. The courts of
Europe, unless they are . woeful pre
varicators, profess ' sentiments of
strong friendship for us. Scholars,
scientists and leaders In the world's
most progressive thought and senti
ment unite In common causes with our
American thinkers and the thousands
of emigrants from all parts of Europe
m ho make their living and their homes
In this country certainly bring no hint
of hatred from their native lands.
While there la no Immediate dinger
of & war between the United States
and Japan, there Is some truth, never
theless, In what Mr. Hepburn says.
When a nation becomes a world power
Its neighbors feel Its competition.
When it has a surplus of farm or man
ufactured products It sells In competi
tion with the farmers and manufactur
ers of other countries. Its success Is
in constant conflict with rivals. The
results of this rivalry may make Eu
ropean nations feel a little envious of
the United States, but so long as we
keep out of their Internal troubles,
their "concerts of the powers," the
United States will retain the respect,
If not the love, of all the world. Bump
tiousness may be a vice, but it is not a
crime, and it will not by Itself start a
war.
llVZZLViO TUB BOO TIT ft.
President "Ban" Johnson of the
American league has undertaken a
task compared with which the labors
of Hercules were child's play. . He an
nounces that the obnoxious base ball
rooter Is to be suppressed in his
league. Discussing the proposition,
President Johnson says:
No one opposes legitimate rooting, but
when a spectator use a megaphone to In
sult and taunt a visiting player until that
player Is angered Into making replies which
are audible In th grandstand and ar an
Insult to th men and women who ar
within hearing. It must be stopped. Any
player should be punished for aiming In
sulting remarks at the spectators, but the
player, too, deserve some measure of
protection.
Genuine lovers of base ball and
those who do not' come under that
description are in a hopeless minority
will applaud Mr. Johnson's decision
and encourage him in every way In
squelching the rooter, who has more
enthusiasm than sense. The spectator
who taunts vlstlng players Blmply dis
plays a lack of good breeding where
he thinks he la making a fetching
show of loyalty. The majority of
men and women who attend ball
games have the attractiveness of the
sport marred by the effusiveness of
so-called "fans" who are as obnoxious
to players as they are to spectators.
The difficulty will be to draw the line
between real enthusiasm, which often
finds expression in a very tumult of
nolBe, and the- outbreaks of the ill
bred rooters. The temper of a base
ball audience is always an uncertain
quantity. President Johnson will be
entitled to a special pennant It he
succeeds in eliminating the rooter
nuisance.
BVRQLARY AND GOOD MORALS.
Three ex-convicts are held by the
Chicago police on a charge of burglary,
caught in an effort to rob the desk of
Mayor Busae In his office. The bur
glars say they were employed by a
committee of Chicago ministers, who
paid them $500 to rifle the desk of the
mayor. The ministers say that the
desk . contained .private documents
which might support the charge that
Mayor Busse and others of his admin
istrative family have been grafting on
coal contracts, and publicly Justify the
attempted burglary on the ground of
its service to the cause of good morals.
As an ethical proposition thla situa
tion lf certainly novel, and might
easily admit of much drawing of
fine distinctions as between the lesser
and the greater evils, and a good deal
of purely academic discussion concern
ing the points involved. But how does
it appear to a busy man, who has little
time to devote to sophistry? Does it
not seem that the holy zeal which has
inspired the Chicago ministers in their
efforts to purify the city's moral
atmosphere has led these devoted
evangels of good citizenship a little
beyond what might be, deemed wise
and prudent conduct?
It will not be suggested that the
church should in any way abate its
efforts for the uplifting of mankind,
or should be anywhere more tolerant
of vice or crime. But it is doubtful if
such measures adopted in Chicago and
In other communities are doing any
service for the church or mankind in
general. Enthusiasm in the support of
a good cause Is essential to Its success,
but when enthusiasm degenerates Into
zealotry and bigotry it becomes dan
gerous. Unless the cause of good
morals and religion is to suffer, it
must be divorced from burglary and
kindred methods.
PAY OF LETTER CARRIERS.
In face of a protest from Chairman
Tawney of the appropriations com
mittee the house of representatives has
incorporated a provision In the post
office appropriation bill raising the
limit of compensation of letter carriers
of a certain grade to $1,200 a year, in
place of the $1,100 now fixed. The
amendment calling for a similar In
crease in the pay of postal clerks of a
corresponding grade was voted down.
The increase affects about 10,000 let
ter carriers throughout the country.
Under the bill as passed by the
house the carriers of the fifth grade
will receive $1,200 a year, the same as
the sixth grade. The former law
divided the letter carriers T Into six
grades, with salaries ranging from
$600 for the first grade, $800 for the
second, $900 for the third, $1,000 for
the fourth, $1,100 tor the fifth, to
$1,200 for the sixth. Promotion of
more than one grade was prohibited in
any one year. The law provided, also,
for antomatlc promotions to the fifth
grade, but made no provision tor
promotion to the sixth grade. The
new bill puts the entire fifth grade to
the $1,200 salary.
Practically the only opposition to
the measure was offered by Chairman
Tawney, who based his objection on
the ground that the revenues of the
government And of the Postoffice de-
partment had fallen off In consequence
of the recent financial depression, but
the house took the position that It was
false economy to pinch, the pay of let
ter carriers deserving promotion by
years of faithful service. The senste
will doubtless concur in the action of
the house In recognising the claims of
the men In one of the most important
services of the government.
a rnzariAit tragi kdt.
Mirth and laughter are not the only
productions of the vaudeville stage.
Most of the acts, it Is true, are de
signed to agitate the risibilities, but
many a cankering sorrow la concealed
by the grease paint and many a laugh
provoking quip 1b hurled at the audi
ence only after it has triumphed over
the actor's desire to groan. At least,
that is the way Percy Halleran evi
dently feels about It. according to hla
story told to a New York police magis
trate. The Hallerans Percy and Maud
were vaudeville performers. They had
an act in which they collaborated with
a trained pig, some pet chickens, a
parrot, a duck and a goose. The panic
came on and the Hallerans were com
pelled to return to New York. Maud
caught on with a road show and left
Percy to take care of the live stock.
Booking offices were always crowded
when Percy was hunting for engage
ments. The live -stock had to be fed
and Percy himself got hungry. With
raw material for roast pig and apple
sauce, baked domestic goose, chicken
fricassee and other comestibles of that
kind in his backyard, Percy reached
the point where the lack of a nickel
for beer kept him beyond the pale of
the free lunch counter. He resisted
temptation to the limit and then
weakened. He killed the goose that
won the golden laughs from vaudeville
audiences and the rest was easy.
While he waa not able to find work,
he did not have to go hungry. ' He ate
the whole act, from overture to cur
tain, when Maud returned with news
of a vaudeville engagement for the
team, only to find Percy picking the
last bone of the trained pig. who was
the star of the act Maud bad Percy
arrested on a charse of malicious de
struction of property, or something of
that kind, and Percy unburdened his
tale of woe to the judge, admitting all
his heinous offense, but pleading
hunger as a mitigating circumstance.
The good Judge discharged Percy,
holding that while his conduct was
unprofessional,- perhaps bordering on
cannibalism, it was not criminal. But
Maud refused to be consoled and has
gone back to the road company, leav
ing Percy in the breadline and 'the
vaudeville stage to recover from its
loss as best it may. ,
A CHECK OJV SOCIALISM.
The House of Lords, for whose
abolition' the liberal parfy In the Brlt-
Uah Parliament has been making an
active crusade, has become more
strongly entrenched than ever in the
confidence of the British people by the
action of the House of Commons on
the unemployed workmen's bill. .This
measure, one of the most radical ever
offered in Parliament, and avowedly a
socialistic scheme, caused such dissen
sion and disruption in the ranks of the
liberals that the party Is now rapidly
approaching the parting of the ways,
with the prospect of having to appeal
to the country. Under proper leader
ship, It Is predicted, the socialist meas
ure would undoubtedly have passed
the commor.s and only rejection by the
House of Lords would have headed off
the proposition.
The defeated bill was confessedly a
socialistic measure. It required town
and county authorities to provide work
for all unemployed persons, or, if una
ble to do this, to provide maintenance
for them and their families. When
brought to a vote, 28S liberals dodged
the Issue by remaining away. The bill
was finally defeated by a vote of 265
to 116. This result, it is said, was
brought about by John Burns, leader
of the labor party, who stoutly opposed
the bill, contending that he English
government had already gone too far
in "exalting fustian and corduroy
above the frck coat and the top hat."
He argued that the adoption of the bill
would make it necessary ultimately
for the government to control the
whole machinery of industry and
would work out as an Injury to the
workmen rather than a help.
British sentiment has been aroused,
since the defeat of the measure, to the
socialistic principle embodied in it.
There are no constitutional limits on
the power of the British Parliament
and no judicial authority to declare
any of its acts Invalid. The passage
of the law would have practically
placed the socialists In power in the
House of Commons. As a bulwark
against such legislative possibilities
the House of Lords is in a fair way to
recover much of its lost prestige.
Speaking of Omaha voting $5,000,
000 for a power canal, that reminds us
that that is a trifle under the valuation
the appraisers put on the water works,
which little Item is still bung up In the
courts awaiting adjudication as to
whether the city must pay it in full or
not
"Among those who have been men
tioned In connection with the presi
dential nomination," says a Denver
newspaper, "la William Jennings
Bryan of Nebraska." We have been
suspicious for some time that some
thing of the sort was brewing.
"Under Governor Johnson's admin
istration," says the Kansas City Jour
nal, "butter made In Minnesota has
taken first irlie in a national butter
makers' contest What has Mr. Bryan
to say to that?" Mr. Bryan will prob
ably say that Minnesota has been mis
branding Nebraska butter as well as
trying to rob Nebraska of the demo
cratic leadership.
Walter Wellman has discovered that
Bryan la going to accept the demo
cratic nomination at Denver and then
resign in the Interests of harmony. A
moving picture show of Bryan in a re
signing attitude would capture all the
loose coin in the country.
In all this publicity about the per
sons engaged in the? New York to Paris
auto race it ia simply a shame that the
humble citizen who Is distributing gas
oline to stations through Alaska and
Siberia should be compelled to" travel
incog. " .
The annual bout between the "wets"
and the "drys," with the varying out
come In the different Nebraska towns
and cities, is the best proof of the
efficacy of the local option principle
as the basis of our Slocumb license
law.
Although the populist national con
vention is only ten days off, St Louis
hotel keepers are ready to entertain
all comers without raise of rates above
everyday schedule.
Fremler of tke Tribe.
Baltimore American.
A western woman claims that her hus
band came home late seventy-eight times
In succession and gave a different excuse
every time. This man should make quite
a fortune writing fairy stories.
Hard Knocks (or Wealth.
Philadelphia Record.
It was not enough that the poor multi
millionaires have been compelled by hard
times to give up the purchase of African
diamonds. Now comes the. announcement
that many of them are disposing of their
luxurious pleasure yachts. Thus It appears
that the possession nf predatory wealth Is
not a continuing joy.
A Prince In be Chaae.
Baltimore American.
Impecunious barons, counts and other
small fry of foreign nobility will be con
siderably perturbed at the entrance of a
royal prince Into the field of competition
for the favor of American heiresses. They
will have no chance whatever with a real
thing like that, and the outlook In th near
future for gilding 9t tarnished coronets and
fixing up dilapidated castles Is simply ap
palling. A Transcendental Issue.
New York Tribune.
Massachusetts loves a transcendental
Issue In politics as well as philosophy, and
she seems to have found one In the ani
mated struggle now In progress In the Bay
state, to determine whether the delegates
to the republican national convention ought
to take instruction from the voters or the
voters take Instruction from the would-be
delegates. Does political wisdom ascend
from the mass or descend from those who
offer to represent the mass to Us ultimate
profit and enlightenment?
Fir Drill In, Schools.
Philadelphia Press.
Since the Colllnwood disaster the fire
drill Is being practiced In rural schools
where It was never thought of before. In
most cities with a population of 60,000 and
upward the fire drill has been a part of
the regular school discipline, but there are
many smaller places with quite as largo
school buildings where It has never been
Introduced. It should be neglected nowhere.
It has demonstrated Its effectiveness In
getting children out of a building speedily
and without confusion on so many occa
sions that no further argument In Its favor
Is needed. The fire drill adds nothing to
the expense of the school, does not really
Increase the teachers' burdens and should
be universal.
TUB KA1LHOADS AND THE ri BMC
Suggestive Statistic for Edification
f Railroad Managers.
New York World.
In the last ten years the people ofthe
United States have paid to the railroad
companies more than 117,000,000,000. Of this
sum 15.500,000,000 represents earnings In ex
cess of all operating expenses.
During these ten years the public, through
the medium of freight and passenger rates,
has paid over 12,000,000,000 In Interest to the
holders of railroad bonds, and $1,600,000,000
more has been distributed to stockholders
in dividends.
These statistics are respectfully com
mended to the consideration of those rail
road managers who are forever whimper
ing about the inestimable service that the
railroads render to the country. It Is true
enough that th American people could not
get along without the railroads, but It Is
even more true that the railroads could
not get along without the American people.
All the obligation to be' Juet, fair and con
siderate is not on one side.
BKYOM) POWER OP CONGRESS.
Bills Llmltlae; Interstate Commerce In
Liquor Declared I'nconatltntlonal.
Chlego Record HeraiJ.
Senators Ivnox, Rayner and Fulton, as
members of ' the subcommittee of five to
which had been referred for study th vari
ous bills dealing with the shipment of liquor
In orlglnalpackages Into prohibition states,
counties or districts, have submitted an
adverse report on all of these propositions.
Though some are milder than the Tillman
bill, which simply renders all liquors
brought Into a state subject td the laws
of that stat?, the senators named find that
all are open to the same fundamental and
constitutional objection.
That objection Is this, In a nutshell:
While states have the power to legislate
the sale of lluuor out of existence, they
have no power to Interfere with luteratale
commerce, and congreaa cannot, without
violating the constitutional provision In re
gard to such commerce, grant them that
power.
It should be understood that all the bills
Intend to place certain limits to "Inter
state commerce," to say where It ends and
makes state jurisdiction supreme. The
effect of the bills, or of any one of them,
would be to say that certain transactions
which th supreme court has culled Inter
state commerce should be taken out of
that category and treated as stat com
merce. The senators apparently believe that
congress cannot say what shall bo an"
what shall not be Interstate commerce.
Its power to regulate such commerce Is
exclusive, and no grain of it can be sur
rendered. Of course, ultimately th Courts
would determine In any case whether a
given transaction was or was not within
the protection of the commerce clause. Tu
adoption of none of th bills would oust
th federal courts from their Jurisdiction
Cut Prices On
x Never before- was it possible to buy
3S. typewriters at the price we are offering
, Tu them.
vu? Do yon want a typewriter for your
'"ijk office?
Do you want one for your son or daughter! Jfji
Do you want one at homo to use evenings t ' ",T
y Don't allow anyone to work you into paying $100.00
for a typewriter when you have the opportunity of select
ing one from our stock.
Eemingeon No. 2 , ' $23.00
Kemington No. 6 ... ....$35.00
Remington No. 6 ..." $55.00
Remington No. 7 15.00
Oliver No. 2 25.00
Oliver No. 3 32.50
Oliver No. 3 ' 50.00
Smith Premier No. 1 ,....25.00
' Smith Premier, No. 2 ' 40.00
Smith Premier No. 2 50.00
Densmore No. 4 22.50
. Blickendorfer No. 5 '. . . .15.00
Bliehrndorfer No. 7 25.00
Chicago 15.00
These machines are second hand but have been put
in condition to give satisfactory service.
Nebraska Cycle Co.
Corner 15th and Harney
PERSONAL AND OTHERWISE.
This is the first official day of spring.
Don't frighten the robin.
Madame Anna Gould declares she has had
enough of marriage. That is the usual
conclusion of heiresses who go awsy from
home for husbands.
The conviction of the Pennsylvania state
house looters Impresses ex-Governor Pen
nypacker that justice moves with "cejerlty
con tempered with cunctation."
"Be sura you know what you are about
before you shoot off your mouth," declares
ex-Oovernor Vardiman In his new paper.
The MIssiaslppian la using a pencil.
Hooslers breath naturally once more.
Jim Riley's "Old Swimming Kole" has
been rescued from the Impious hands of
land grabbers and dedicated to the kids of
Hancock county.
New Yorkers observe with soma grief
that Lenten services In the churches at
tract pickpockets, who take up collections
under "dim .cathedral .lights" before the
ushers pass the - basket.
Under the prohibition law of North Caro
lina 39,616 prescriptions for whisky were
made out by the doctors of Charlotte last
year. The treatment did not check the epi
demic, but .was satisfactory . to patients,
doctors and druggists. Who els has a kick
coming?
The English clergyman who proved to
his own satisfaction that George Wash
ington was a descendant of the first Ed
ward Is discounted by a Scandinavian who
traces the forbears of "the father of his
country" back to a Swedish family named
Waas. The Friendly Sons of St. Patrick
are entitled to the floor.
A courteous Immigration Inspector at
Boston, baffled by the appearance of an
Incoming family, sought to discover . the
nationality of the group by talking German,
Bohemian and Italian. Thereupon the be
wildered mother spoke up, "Why don't
you talk United States. I'm from Mis
souri." The Inspector took the elevator for
the roof and dropped off.
DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES.
"Socially fastidious. Is she?"
"Yes, Indeed. She even returns telephone
calls." Harper's Weekly.
"He doesn't treat her as If she were his
wife at all."
' "Abuses her, eh?"
"No, he's as polite and nice to her as he
can be." Houston Post.
"Was It a casa of love at first sight?"
asked the sentimental girl?"
"It couldn't have been," answered Miss
Cayenne. "When they first met he was
wearing foot ball clothes and she had on
her motor car costume." Washington Star.
,
"George!" whispered Mrs. Krotchett, In
the dead of night, "I m sure there's a
burglar down in the dining room."
"Good!" replied her husband, sleepily, "If
we keen aulet may be he'll take away that
chafing dish of yours." Philadelphia Tress.
Mrs. Lottaklds. who had been Invited to
attend to opening session of the mothers'
congress, was sending her regrets over the
telephone.
It s awfully Kina or you 10 bsk me, iurs.
Ondego," she Bald, "but I can t come. 1 m
too busy looking alter tne emmren. v-ni-
cago Tribune.
"f have read." he remarked, "that the
test of a gentleman Is association with him
for a year without Knowing anyining aooui
hla Income."
"But do you think." ah replied, "that a
gentleman would keep a girl In suspensa
that long?"
Thus a new phase was projected Into the
situation. Philadelphia Ledger.
Drina-Time
You and all of us have turned over
the calendar leaf to spring spring Is
In the air; the flowers are awakening
to Its call, the birds, are tunlns their
voices for their glad spring song.
And it's sprlug In this store, too.
You'll find It manifest !n our remark
able display of Pianos a gathering
more complete and representing more
famous manufacturers than any in the
west.
Spring is the season of music.- It
should cause you to think of that piano
you have Intended to buy many many
months. What of the children? If
you had bought the piano a year ago
they would now be well advanced In
their mastery of it. Don't put off the
purchase of it another year. You want
the boy or girl to grow up a re
fined, well educated man or woman
Al. HOSPE CO.
1513 DOUGLAS ST.
EIVAXCn HOVSES: Council Blnff's, lowi; Lincoln, Kearney, Neb
Typewriter
SERMONS BOILED DOWN.
He who does not doubt at all is doubtless
damned.
It Is always safe to be sorry for th self
sat 1st led.
If you would find folks you must first be
yourself.
It's not the things laid on It that make
the life larger.
A crooked path Is the stralghtest road to
the traps of sin.
Helping always brings happiness, and
happiness always helps.
Any man can talk roilgion, but only those
who have It can teach It.
There always Is some character being de
termined by your conduct.
It Is following the stars we have that
will lead to the day to be.
It's the dally dull grinding that produces
the keen edge for some crisis.
The field of this world Is not to b worked
by digging at your neighbors.
The man who can carry all his religion In
his head never lets It bother his hands.
It Is simple Ignorance of ourselves that
makes us harsh In our judgments of others.
The poorest hypocrite In this world 1 th
roan wno tntnics to be a saint by spying or
the sins of others. Chicago Trlbuhe. .
March In, Nebraska.
Skies of June above,
April winds a-blowlng,
February's patient fields
Follow for May's sowing.
Blue birds fluting call, '
Sparrow's sweet replying;
High above the cottonwool's,
Hed-winged blackbirds flying.
On the uplands- wide
Swelling buds are glowing,
"March Is here, he'll soon be gone;"
Swift the word Is going.
' The Harris Sparrow' Bong.
Faint, from a wayside thicket,
Near frozen .waterways,
I heard bird voices crying .1
Through sullen autumn days. '
"Oh, dear," they sighed, and then, ,,Oh, dear,
The Spring's so long a-coming here."
Now, In the willow thickets.
Through all their marshy ways.
Are tiny voices calling.
Shy btrds. In browns and grays,
"My dear," they cry, and then. "My deaf,
The Spring's not long a-coming here."
EMILY BINGHAM WOOD.
Omaha.
Watch this space for a series of talks
to Investors. .
One Good Investment Is Worth A
Lifetime of Labor.
One keen stroke of - judgment has
placed many a man In comfortable cir
cumstances for life, and has Insured
his future beyond all Question of
doubt. '
A new and very productive enter
prise now offers opportunity to a few
investors and at a small figure to
enter Into a conservatively managed
business proposition a distinctly pro
ductive investment, the success of
which Is fully assured beyond the
question of speculation. - Sharehold
ers have an unequalled chance to get
In on the ground floor of a straight
forward and genuine investment
You will be amply repaid by quickly
investigating. Address your reply to
W 268. Bee. , .
Is Piano-Time
well then, a knowledge of muslo Is es
sential. There, is always a store where the
best is. sold. Hospe's Is that store as
far as pianos Is concerned.
That is said not as a boast It Is the -truth,
absolutely. You can find better
pianos here than anywhere else In the
United States, and lower prices.
Names that stand at the toy of the
plano-maklng Industry are in the
llospe stock room, an assemblage of
such character and scope as la un
known outside of Hospe's.
We are factory distributors for
KranlcU & Bach, Krakauer, Kimball,
Hallet & Davis. Bush & Lane. Cable.
Nelson, Burton, Melville-Clark, Weser
Bros., Cramer Bros., etc.
You can buy here for a few dollar
monthly. Come to see us first.
i